


The White Paladin

by Otheliame



Series: The Lion's Roar [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alcohol, Almost Drowning, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Humor, Attempted Murder, Because dreamworks FORGOT ABOUT THAT, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Blood and Torture, Blood and Violence, Death Threats, Discourse Free Zone, Drowning, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Fix It Fic, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gay Panic, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Horrible Pop Culture References, How Do I Tag, Humor, I keep adding tags as I go along, I'm Sorry, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Torture, Inappropriate Humor, Kind of AU I guess? If that AU is where the plot makes sense and the characters act in character?, M/M, Mutual Pining, NSFW themes, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Original Character(s), Other, Out of Body Experiences, POV First Person, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Polynesian Hunk (Voltron), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rewriting Bc Dreamsworks Failed us tbh, Sad boi hours, Self Esteem Issues, Self-Discovery, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Self-Insert Centric, Self-Reflection, Sentient Voltron Lions, Set in the Year 2118, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Spoilers, Swearing, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Torture, Trans Character, Trans Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Trans Male Character, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Whump, my friend said i need to tag this so here:, shameless self-insert, we deserve better so here you go + me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-08-19 03:36:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 461,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16526582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otheliame/pseuds/Otheliame
Summary: After coming to Texas with his parents 2 and a half years ago so they could work at the Garrison to train the next generation of space explorers, Will already had a lot of struggles fitting in, the dreams that have plagued his sleep for the past 18 years of his life certainly being a big factor to it. The dreams grew nothing but stronger as the days passed until suddenly, one day a comet crashes into the deserts surrounding the Garrison, just a mere few miles from his home. He feels something drawing him into the desert, following the fallen star, but little does Will know that his dreams would take him beyond even the farthest stars he could imagine.---Honestly? This is pure self-indulgent self-insert fanfiction for Voltron. I don't expect anyone to read this because of it, it's honestly for my own personal enjoyment, but there is some stuff in here for actual team building and bonding that the show lacks (aka it's beyond just my own self indulgence). There could've been so much more, and DreamWorks failed to seize upon the opportunities they had in their grasp. So, I'm including what they forgot: character development.





	1. The First Lion

**Author's Note:**

> At any point these chapters are subject to change. Despite it being finished, continuous updates may follow as the story progresses. Hopefully nothing too significant, but you never know. As of right now I've gone through and edited this thrice, so maybe that's it ?  
> If you'd like to see some concept art I have a lot of different pieces, there are some that I pair to chapters on my blog dedicated to this series: https://thewhitepaladin.tumblr.com/ (Note: Spoilers will be present, but tagged for your convenience so you can avoid them if you so please)  
> If there is an art piece I made for a chapter I'll include it in the chapter description with the tag it's under on the blog (for example, an art piece for something that happens in Chapter 3 will have the tag in the blog #chapter 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares become visions, and visions become reality. Will doesn't really sleep anymore, never has, but now his dreams have begun to crowd into his waking hours. A meteor crashes to Earth, just outside his town on the Garrison's property, and with it comes a tide of change that's about to change Will's life forever.  
> **  
> ***WARNING: extremely graphic violence and gore in the beginning. It's completely in italics, so if this makes you uncomfortable or it begins to make you so, if you skip past the italics you can avoid it. The purpose is to establish a baseline for y'all to see what Will's typical dreams are like for future context, but also take care of yourself  
> **

I don't remember ever having a decent night's sleep.

I've had the same set of recurring dreams for as long as I can remember. They always depict the same bullshit, night after night of this…  something. This  _ thing _ . Everytime I see it, I hear its purr in my dreams, and with it comes the recurring, horrifying... visions. That's the closest thing I can call them, because they’re not like everyone else’s nightmares, they’re too constructed, too repetitive. Sometimes they’re of stranger's faces, screaming and calling out to me to save them, sometimes I face an impossible decision, something I can never remember but I know when I wake up in a cold sweat and sobbing that I made the wrong one. A few times the people I see are my parents, my friends, and once it even held Damien, but every one of them are people I fail. I make the wrong choice, I prioritize wrong, I misjudge, or I’m just too slow.

I can feel its purr as soon as I slip into sleep. I know it as well as I know my own handwriting, that rumble within my chest, radiating into my sternum and spreading like the warmth of liquor through my veins, and the golden eyes of a white lion staring into me like a demon of judgement that proves my lack of worth day in and day out.

Medicine doesn't really help. Some knock me out pretty fast but they make the dreams worse. I'm groggier, the visions are hazy, like I'm watching through thick syrup. I make every decision far too slow, and I live with the faux consequences, all in all making the experience all the more… horrible. Scary. 

My parents try to help me through it, but I think they gave up after we hit rock bottom with that psychic who accidentally induced a seizure, apparently. I don't actually remember, that’s what my parents and the EMT’s told me, but I do know my head hurt like crazy after, and the dreams got so bad for the week after that I couldn’t sleep more than an hour a night, practically clawing my throat from the amount of blood I was drowning in.

The intensity of the dreams really vary, and I’m not quite sure why. Sometimes they’re not too bad, sometimes the only person that gets hurt is me, which you’d think is already pretty bad but in comparison to the others it’s actually preferable. Just goes to show just how fucked up these things can get. 

They started to get worse, worse than they’ve ever been, about a week before the comet struck.

My parents work at the space force academy, aka the Garrison, where they’re training the next generation of space explorers; my dad always expected me to join up, but frankly, I don’t give a shit about space like my parents do, or the rest of society for that matter. I study just as hard as anyone else but I don’t want to be an astronaut, I don’t really look up except to look at the clouds or the constellations. I don't know what it is that I want to do, but it definitely isn't that. Not remotely; honestly it’s just too much  _ nothingness _ for me. What I love is to create: making stories and weaving characters in worlds rich of lore, prophecies, magic, and... certainty, I guess; control. I suppose it’s sort of compensation for the lack of control I feel in my dreams and… like, you know, life. But that’s a lot of psychoanalysis that is, frankly, not necessary to get into.

Needless to say, I am a huge fan of fantasy stories. My favorite’s the ancient original text of the Lord of the Rings, even though it’s like, a century and a half years old, but it’s the  _ origin  _ of fantasy, it’s where it all began, practically the birth of the rise of the fantasy genre. And, it’s for a reason, it’s fucking excellent across the literary board.  

But no one really cares about those stories anymore, not with the major scientific advances turning everyone's gaze to space:  _ ‘The final frontier’.  _ Sci-fi’s gotten a fresh rise because of it, but those stories are really not for me; I’d have to deal with researching science and shit like that, and that’s the  _ worst. _

My parents talked to me everyday about what they did that day at the Garrison, and I kind of think it’s to try and convince me to go. They already got me to apply,  _ just to see _ , and I don’t think I’ll ever hear the end of it when I passed the entry test and still didn’t want to. But seriously,  _ fuck  _ space. Which is why, when the comet struck, it was weird that my parents said nothing about it to me. It’s literally a piece of space, crashing into the Earth, right at the Garrison’s doorstep nonetheless, but they acted like it didn’t happen. Normally, I wouldn’t really care, but it was noticeably weird that they pointedly remained silent about it. 

But frankly, I didn’t think to ask about it, or why. I saw it from my bedroom window when the comet descended, while I was working on some class assignment. In all honesty, it wasn’t the comet itself that concerned me, even though it was really wicked cool to see it descend and crash so close, for a second or two I was even scared that it would hit the house but it was far away enough that I barely felt the ground shake from the impact. No, what scared me was that it was some sort of catalyst: for the first time in my life, I felt the purr while I was awake. It was deep in my chest, like a second heartbeat, and as the red-lit smoke rose from the place the comet struck I knew immediately that it was the reason why. 

There was this voice… well, more like a feeling that I translated to words, it's hard to say, that produced the most unimaginable pull out into the deserts surrounding the academy almost as soon as the purr faded; it wanted me to go to the comet. I always loved to take walks, they helped when I was particularly sleepless, but this was different. I felt like I was holding a string that led to an exit from an eternal maze, and all I had to do was follow it. I almost crawled out of the window right then and there, but I stopped myself at the last second. That’s something a crazy psycho would do, following some weird dream lion’s purring into the forbidden territory of the Garrison for… I can’t even determine why. Because it said so?

Instead, I ran downstairs and told my parents about it. I still remember the look my mom gave my dad when I told them about the purr, ‘ _ it was so real, I felt it, how is that possible, I’m awake, there has to be something about this comet that made this happen,’  _ but all they said was that I should call my therapist. I mean, I did as they suggested, and she said something I admit I wasn’t really listening to. I'm sure it’s some other drug to take, but I wasn't home long enough to try it out. 

I spent the rest of the night trying to forget it happened. I’m already fucked up to begin with, I don't need to be admitted to an asylum or some shit just because I’m hearing voices, or worse, following this pull, this imaginary purr, into the restricted zone. But I feel in my gut, in my chest… I’m not crazy. Something about this comet is about to shatter my world.

…

_ White walls, white floors, I’m standing in nothing, nowhere, as far as I can see on all sides. There are shadows to indicate my place among it all, the ground is firm like stone but completely free of any markings to indicate that it’s real.   _

_ I know this place. I’ve been here a thousand times before. It’s my gladiator arena, always spotless until the failure begins only to be wiped clean for the next trial like a whiteboard. I whirl around, in search for the one, the Julius Caesar that dictates my trials, I’m already getting anxious even though I’ve lost count of how many times this has happened. ‘I have to focus, I have to get ready. I can’t get freaked out when it hasn’t even begun.’ _

_ My gaze locks to a pair of golden, pupil-less eyes that bear straight into my chest; the white lion stands with a regal posture, staring at me with its tail flicking back and forth. It has no mane, I believe it’s a lioness, but truly it’s just a being beyond anything I can comprehend; all I see in it is an eldritch horror that causes nothing but suffering and pain, and something tells me deep down that… that _ **_thing_ ** _ is what subjects me to this every night.  _

_ I’ve tried to plea in the past, it’s no use. I tried and tried and begged but the trials came no matter what I said, the lion merely looking on with the same inexpression. I tried to attack it… once. I was sick and tired, I was furious and desperate, I hurtled myself at it just to get something to happen, anything different than this. I woke up the next morning with an unimaginable pain of massive teeth digging into the flesh of my throat and cutting off my airway. It wasn’t real, but the asphyxiation that put me in the hospital for a night was. My therapist just said it was a dream so realistic it resulted in my body reacting the way it was expecting. Needless to say, I never tried again. _

_ Tonight, I merely stare the lion down with resolution. Something about tonight is going to be different. The meteor, the crashed comet… This can’t be a coincidence. _

_ I square my shoulders as I glare the lion down.  _

_ “What was that?” My voice echoes in the empty nothingness, full of venom and spite. I need answers. If I heard it purring while I was awake, maybe this time things will change. Maybe it’ll speak, maybe tell me what the hell’s going on. “Why did I hear you before?”  _

_ The lion blinks at me slowly, its tail twitching in a lazy manner back and forth. I growl in frustration and take a step towards it, “Why is the comet significant? What’s it mean?” _

_ As per usual, the white lion doesn’t answer. It merely stares with a gaze I’ll never understand, quiet and expressionless yet full of depth and something more. It dissolves into black smoke.  _

_ It’s begun. _

_ The smoke races towards me, enveloping my being until all I see is darkness. I try to steady my breathing, the rush of the cold shadow whisks around me like a frisking breeze until with a snap it splits, peeling away and forming into shadowy shapes only a few feet in front from me. The smoke lengthens as people form, hopping like crescendo curves to form strangers, people with faces I’ve never seen, all with wide eyes full of fear. They just keep coming, more shadowy smoke stretching out and farther beyond until there must be a hundred or so of these strangers. There’s so  _ **_many,_ ** _ they extend into the distance like I’m looking down a crowded beach.  _

_ Suddenly, with a hot burst, violet flame leaps around the collected mass, closing them into a deadly circle. The cavernous nothing echoes with their voices shrieking in terror, a clamor that hurts my ears and reverberates in my skull. The flames begin to move, closing into a tighter ring to surround the collection of people. I shake as one woman in particular, the person closest to me, locks eyes with me over the flickering tongues of the purple flames. She’s holding a toddler with wide green eyes, she’s sobbing, her child is too terrified to cry, and with a dull thunderous roar the flames keep inching inward towards the people. They’re crying out in fear, retreating backwards and closing in on each other to escape it, but there’s nowhere to go. They’re trapped.  _

_ I’ve got to do something. _

_ I race forward, but the flames are searing, just being near them makes my skin hot and sharp, but I  _ **_can’t_ ** _ sit idle. No, I won’t, not when people need me. The woman, her eyes are gray, her hair is streaked with age, yells to me but her words are indistinct over the loud yammer of the terrified people and the dull roar of the flames. I shake my head at her, thinking furiously of what to do, ‘how the hell can I stop the fire? How can I put it out?’  _

_ I take off my shirt over my head and wave it wildly at the flames, smacking it to the ground in an effort to extinguish it. The flames flicker and wane, but it isn’t enough; they’re too hot, they’re too large, it’s out of control with just feeble cloth. The woman realizes I can’t hear her as she watches me flailing; as I catch my breath and desperately think, I watch her set her jaw in determination and with a cry of pain she thrusts her arms, her toddler at hand, through the flames like on a spit roast to keep the child out of harm’s reach, and while I can’t hear her I can read her lips:  _ **_take them._ **

_ “No!” I shout. As I step closer to the flames I can feel my skin burn, it hurts like a bitch to be so close but I can’t allow this to happen. “You’re  _ **_both_ ** _ gonna survive this!” I don’t pause to consider my actions as the idea forms, I just know I’ve got to act. I grit my teeth, steeling myself, and I hold my shirt on my arms as some sort of protection before I jump directly onto the flames. It doesn’t catch my clothes aflame but it burns all the same, I’m vaguely aware I’m crying out in pain... But it worked. My collapse extinguished the flames in my wake, leaving a person-sized hole in the violet fire. My body sears, and  _ **_fuck_ ** _ it hurts like hell _ **_;_ ** _ the cloth of my shirt is melting into the skin on my forearms and my eyes water but all that matters is it worked; the woman tramples over me, stepping on my back which stings from the flame and sprints into the distance with her child in her arms. The people nearest to her notice this and immediately race forward as the gap I created begins to close with the slow creep of the flames inward. The pain is all I can feel, the slow sizzle of my flesh and the agony of rough undersides of shoes pressing it closer into the meat below my shoulder blades in haste to escape. I can’t move to get out of the way without stopping them, so I lay there and take it; I don’t blame them, do what you have to do to survive and get the fuck out of there, but it still fucking sucks to be on the brunt of it. I grit my teeth, biting onto the singed collar of my shirt clamped in my singed fists but it isn’t enough, it hurts, _ **_it hurts, it hurTS-_ **

_ The steps that shook my ears and roughed the skin on my back like sandpaper on wood stops. I blink, my vision is swimming, but as I raise my head I can see the violet flames ahead of me have begun to engulf the people who couldn’t escape. Their screams are deafening as they’re burned alive and something within me snaps, my vision sharpens like a camera’s focus. I see the skin melting over their bones, the air fills with the horrible smell of burning hair and nausea climbs in my throat.  _

_ I try to rise. ‘I have to rise, I  _ **_have_ ** _ to, I need to make another gap so more can escape.’  _

_ I haven’t a clue where the strength came from. I’m in a daze as I claw my way toward the flames. As the searing heat beats on my face, the flame licks at my rawed skin and it hurts so much worse now that I have no protection left. ‘But I have to. I have to make another.’ _

_ I don’t think that I will survive extinguishing another hole in the circle of flames, so I have to maximize what I can do this last time as best I can. I stumble to my hands and knees, unclenching my fist from the frayed rope that’s the leftover of my shirt and grit it between my teeth. I steel my nerves, closing my eyes and trying to block out the screams as I leap horizontally, using the length of my body from head to toe to beat out the flames, drop and roll.  _

_ I’m engulfed, and my mind fades to horrendous darkness as I feel myself being burned away. I hear their footsteps racing over me, crying in terror and racing away into the distance, but I can barely feel it as something like a dark mist settles over my vision.  _

_ But I have to know. With all of my remaining energy, I turn my head. ‘Did they make it?’  _

_ I watch with utter futility as the shadow of the violet flame inches forward, closing the gap I’d been so desperate to make. There’s still so many, so so many within, and blackened skeletons have begun to litter the ground in a ring like a gruesome mosaic. I suck in a horrible breath that tastes of iron as the flames creep further inward until they consume the last. I lose count of the number of bodies, twisted with their jaws cracked open from the dread screams. I have to close my eyes, but I can’t cry. Nothing comes but the painful well in my throat. I know without looking that I’m down to the meat, there’s definitely no skin left on the front of me and it hurts like hell, so bad that it’s practically numbing. I close my eyes with a sickening detachment, my consciousness parting from my body like the smoke that rises from the corpses. ‘I’ll be lucky if I survive this, but it’s not like I want to. Not when I failed so many innocent people. They didn’t ask to be a part of this…’ _

_ The pain stops like a flip of the switch. I take such a strong breath that it’s like a shot of adrenaline straight through me, through every drop of blood that jolts my eyes open like I got electrocuted. I sit up, immediately blinking down at my hands and see they’re unmarred, unscarred; there’s no sign of the incineration. I look behind me to see the skeletons are also gone, nothing but the familiar, black mist that started this mess moving towards me in a torrent of shadow.  _

_ On to the next task.  _

_ I swallow the horrified sob that rises in my throat, forcing my breath to steady. ‘I can’t focus on this, I have to turn to the next task or else the people I have to protect will suffer worse than the last. I have to focus on the new task, and learn from the past to do right by them.’ _

_ The shadowy smoke rips away from where it circled around me as it begins to form into six figures just beyond a yard away. I rise to my feet quickly, ready for anything as their forms solidify.  _

_ Five lie on their stomachs, face down like they just got knocked out from behind. They’re donned in black tunics that cover their arms and legs with some type of hole-filled gray smock on their shoulders, except one. This man’s sleeves are ripped off like he’s a brawler; One of his arms, the only arm I can see, is gleaming black and violet all the way down to his fingertips, like it was spray painted in mottled metallics. The other forms are unrecognizable, yet vary in appearances; one is small and gangly with wild brown hair, some kid no older than fifteen, another is large in all manners of the word with hands larger than my head, another has rich chestnut skin that’s seen the sun for his entire life, another has a mess of black hair that waves like crow’s wings that stands out starkly against the whiteness of the ground. The final form is nothing but a shadow, towering over the collapsed forms with long, shadowy claws held over them like it’s some dark priest about to bless the unconscious strangers. Violet flames burn in its eyes, I can feel them boring into my skin as they stare me down.   _

**_‘What are they to you?’_ **

_ I blink stupidly. _

_ … I’ve never been spoken to before.  _

_ I stare at the shadow, flickering my gaze down at the unconscious people before I return my gaze back to the shadow. ‘What are they to me? What the hell’s going on?’ “I don’t know them.” _

**_‘Don’t you recognize a fallen star?’_ ** _ I frown in confusion as the shadow stares me down, its eyes are nothing but violet flame that flickers with a meaning I don’t understand.  _ **_‘Don’t you recognize the glimpse of what is to come?’_ ** _ I stare without comprehension as the shadow continues with a hissing laugh, _ **_‘What would you do with a broken resolve?’_ **

_ Without another enigmatic word, the shadow suddenly evaporates, dispersing like mist before I can fully process what the fuck just happened. ‘So maybe this is the change the comet promised?’  _

_ Suddenly with a ragged gasp, like he was holding his breath, one of the strangers stir, the one with the beautifully painted silver arm. I watch him closely as he rises, shaky and slow, with his back turned to me, I cannot see his face. He’s built like a soldier, all rough edges and hard angles, but what’s strange is only one of his arms is spray painted. The other is bare, like any other person’s. The man doesn’t move, he only breathes, but slowly his violet and black hand clench into a fist. The other four people are completely unmoving, yet as I regard them their forms seem uncertain, shadowy, like they’re a heat vision that shimmers off of heated concrete. _

_ Cautiously I approach the man. I hold my hands out and murmur quietly, calmingly as if to a wounded animal, “Hey, uh… Sir, are you alright?” _

_ The man whirls around toward me with dizzying, inhuman speed. His face is like the shadow’s, made of swirling smoke yet instead of violet flame their eyes are gold, pupil-less, just like that lion’s, but the most distinctive mark is the violent violet gash across where the bridge of his nose would be. The man screams, so loudly I have to cover my ears, yet his words are clear,  _ **_‘There is no escape! There is only darkness, the tyranny is eternal and none will survive except the strong!’_ **

_ I uncover my ears with wide eyes but before I can gather my bearings the shadow faced man tackles me like a football player, I cry out as my back slams into the ground, raising my arms just in time as fists rain down on me, hard hitting, one feels like a metallic brick pounding sharp and quick and sending shocks of pain up my arms and into my shoulders. The voice shrieks again, blaring like a siren,  _ **_‘I wasn’t strong enough, but are you? Are you strong enough?’_ **

_ The assault pauses, but before I can even think to fight back hands grab my wrists and pin them over my head on the ground. I struggle, kicking out but the shadow sits on my chest and holds me down. ‘Fuck. I’m stuck. Plan B!’  _

_ “What makes you think you weren’t strong enough?” My voice is more breathless than I wanted it to be, shaking as my arms tremble the man’s hold but I press on with words that fall from my tongue, yet it doesn’t feel like it’s me who speaks, “You can’t stop fighting when there are people who need you.”  _

_ I haven’t a clue where this is coming from. The words feel true, they  _ **_are_ ** _ true, but it’s like my tongue knows the background knowledge that my brain does not.  _

_ The faceless man’s eyes flicker with uncertainty and the gold begins to fade, growing less intense. My heart races in excitement, ‘it’s working!’ I start speaking so rapidly I can barely hear myself, “I don’t need you to test me if I’m strong enough, because fighting will test my resolve better than you ever could. Join me, fight with me and find your strength again, or give up and know that you’ve already lost.”  _

_ ‘Where the fuck is this coming from? Why do I feel like I know what he’s talking about?’ _

_ The man doesn’t speak. He merely holds my wrists with such a tight grip I’m almost certain they will bruise, but somehow the pain is secondary to the fire that’s begun to burn deep within, I feel like I could bare my teeth and smoke would emerge. Finally, the shadow speaks in a small voice, I can almost see the whites of the man’s eyes behind the golden haze, “...Maybe you’re right.” Slowly, his grip relaxes as he continues with a tone that holds more certainty, “Maybe… maybe it’s still possible to fight.” _

_ I let out a slight breath of relief as the shadow releases my hands completely, but before I can even sit up the man is suddenly hurled with invisible force away from me. I bolt upright with a cry and immediately I can hear the sickening crack as the man lands at a unnatural angle several yards away from me slumped on his side. I scream in horror and scramble forward on my hands and knees towards them, blood is beginning to well on the ground and it sticks to my hands as I hold his head, shifting it into my lap. Blood wells in his mouth, it trickles down the side of his face and a sob struggles into my throat. ‘I… I had him. I almost had him, how could this happen? Who would do this?’  _

_ I look up as the shadow, the original shadow, emerges from nothing, slipping upward like a ghost and hovers just in front of me like the grim reaper, ready to fetch the man’s soul. Its horrible violet flames for eyes glitter in joy as they lock onto me and immediately I drape myself over the man’s body, shielding him with my own before glaring up at the shadow and snarl, “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?! Leave him alone!”  _

_ The shadow merely smiles. A blackened shadow for a claw appears its side and encircles my waist like it’s just as solid and real as I am, raising me up into the air with the strength of a giant. I kick out, struggling with all of my might right as the shadow draws near, raising another, smaller other claw that launches over and digs into my chest. This pain is different; it feels frighteningly real, I’ve never felt so tangibly alive in that moment as hot blood drips down my chest. I scream in pain as it claws through, like a sucker punch with a handful of daggers, plunging inside, towards my heart.  _

**_‘Not even Voltron can protect you here.’_ **

_ Suddenly, there’s a loud, thundering roar. The hands holding me recede and I fall to the ground with a pained gasp. Soft, familiar golden eyes appear before me as my vision fades, hot breath ghosting my face as my eyes close.  _

…

I jolt upright with a loud gasp, clutching my chest frantically as the horrifying sharp pain of the dream recedes. A rasping sob climbs into my throat as I clutch my head in my hands, the remnants of the dream pummelling in my skull like war drums. Desperately I pray the familiar chant to calm down, “One, two, three, four, five, I’m alive, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, breathe again.”

My breath shakily returns to normal with the practiced rhythm. I let my arms fall back to my sides before falling back onto the comforter. 

_ I’ll never understand what the fuck is happening, will I? I can feel that there’s some meaning in these dreams, something that I can’t see but I know that there’s more to it than face value… but especially tonight. Something was real about tonight…  _

_ And it’s because of that stupid fucking comet.  _ I fight past the terror and the fear that causes my hands to shake and try to grasp at the already receding straws of the dream in desperation for answers,  _ the shadow plunging its claws into my chest, blackened skeletons, a man with a silvered arm…  _

It’s already slipping. I’ve already forgotten the first test, I can’t remember if it was one man or many, all I can feel is the pain in my chest, a punch to my sternum. Giving up, I roll over and hug my pillow, growling under my breath in a mix of angry frustration and plain and simple hopelessness. I close my eyes and fight to get some rest. I have class tomorrow, I can’t afford to be tired. 

_ A glimpse of a fallen star.  _

...

Needless to say, I'm definitely not in the mood to hear about the comet the next day at school, but of course it's all anyone can talk about. Nothing happens in Houston outside of the crazy shit coming from the Garrison, it’s all anyone talks about anyways, but with this? Something crashing down from space onto its very grounds? It’s practically a guarantee for complete domination over all conversation for the next week, or at least until the next big drama hits. As I stride down the crowded hall at 7:50am to get to my 8am class, I can already hear snippets of theories and speculations. 

"I heard that it was a training exercise gone wrong!"One boy whispers excitedly to his friend next to my locker as I shove my backpack inside, "Either that, or a bunch-a cadets took a ship for a joyride and it crashed!"

"That's stupid, there's no way, the academy doesn't have any real ships." The other boy scoffs in response, Kyndall or whatever his name was. I don't really know him all that well except our lockers happen to be next to each other this year.

"Will! Hey dude, did you hear about the asteroid?" I barely spare a glance over my shoulder towards Conner's voice, but it’s enough of a glance to take in the day’s aesthetic. He’s wearing glasses instead of contacts today, cuffed jeans and... _is that hair gel?_ Oh yeah, he is _definitely_ wearing hair gel to spike up the front of his brown hair, which usually flops just a little in front of his eyes. _Another experimental look it seems._

Ever since I moved here in my sophomore year, when my parents got contracted to work at the Garrison, Conner’s been my best friend. He made it his personal mission to befriend me when I showed up on the first day of class, just some awkward new kid who wasn’t really keen on making new friends because  _ fuck Texas, I don’t wanna be here _ . Frankly it’s his persistence and kindness that glued me to his side from that point on. We have a little friend group, mostly through the Cages and Creatures campaign he runs on the weekends that he thrust me into to get me to make more friends. Alleuriel is nice but she’s  _ far  _ too into anime and too eager to convert people to enjoying it as much as she does, but Grover and Jupiter are pretty cool. I don’t hang out with them often, only when I’m with Conner in all honesty; it’d be kind of weird to just hang out with them after last summer’s… adventures.

"Dude, the last thing I wanna hear about is that stupid thing right now." I answer curtly, stuffing a bunch of Shakespeare plays and my notebooks for my day's classes into my backpack.

"Did your parents say anything?" Conner leans on the locker next to mine with a persisting tone, cocking an eyebrow at me in a way that reads  _ come on, you can tell me anything _ . 

I shut my locker door with a shake of my head and a resigned sigh, "No, they didn't mention anything about it."

Conner grins at me wickedly, "Oh come on, you never wanna talk about Garrison stuff! It's totally a training accident, isn't it? They're probably just trying to save face!"

"Yeah, I guess.” I quickly change mindset, setting my backpack down on the ground once I shove the books inside, “Did you do the calc homework yet? It's stupid hard for some reason on part 13, I couldn't figure it out and Mrs. Davis never o-jayed me back." I yank my flannel off of my waist and pull it onto my shoulders. I'd tied around my waist for the bike-ride here, but the air conditioning of the building works a little too well.

"Hell no I didn't do the calc homework, how could I when there was that whole  _ thing _ last night!" Conner has one hand wrapped around his biology textbook pressed to his chest, and the other waves in circles animatedly. He’s an animated speaker, it’s easy to read exactly what he’s thinking because he displays it with everything he does.

"I don't really care to hear about it." I murmur, pulling my backpack back onto my shoulders. 

But apparently, Conner  _ really _ wants to talk to me about it. "But Will, listen, I heard from a reliable source that three trainees went missing last night, never showed up to bed at curfew! I think they either crashed a training jet, or got abducted by the aliens that were in that ‘comet’." Conner counts on his fingers his list of theories before finishing with air quotes, pausing to peer at me with a flicker of russet across my face to gauge a reaction.  _ Pfft. Aliens. Everyone always thinks it’s aliens. There’ve been like, seven studies about how if aliens near us existed they would’ve contacted us officially by now, so there’s no such thing. At least, not in our vicinity. _

I raise an eyebrow at him incredulously, "Is your reliable source Jake? You know he's full of shit, right?"

Conner shakes his head as we press into the flow of the hallway, grinning at me with confidence, "Nope. Haymitch."

I admit, I'm shocked. " _ Haymitch _ told you? He never talks about his work at the Garrison!"

Conner nods at lightning speed, "He did! Some kid spilled his coffee in the hallway this morning and I heard him talking to his wife on the phone about it, not only were three cadets missing, but apparently there was-"

"Watch it!" Taylor, some jackass in my grade who doesn't know how to express himself, knocks into Conner as we walk by, deliberately slapping his textbook out of his hand. I stop in the hall as Conner bends to pick it up without even a blink.

"What're you, twelve?” I shout at him,  _ I wish I had something to throw at the back of head in retaliation, _ “Grow the fuck up, you piece of shit!" He doesn't turn or acknowledge me as he melts into the crowded hall and out of sight. I internally seethe as I turn to help Conner up.  _ He’s gonna regret that later. _

"Listen, I don't care what Taylor's issue is, don't ever let him off the hook for treating you like this. He's just gonna have to learn how to deal with his feelings for once in his life." I grumble to Conner as he keeps his eyes down, hugging the textbook to his chest. I have a theory that the reason Taylor persistently bullies Conner like it’s it’s the 70’s is because he secretly has a crush on him, but frankly I feel less like it’s a theory with each passing encounter. After all, a gay can easily spot someone going through a gay crisis.

"I know that's what you think, but I'm telling you Taylor's just intimidated by how smart I am!" Conner replies with a grin. I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Sure, and so humble, too. I know you’re ace, but you’re still a part of the alphabet soup, use your queerdar!” I joke with a lazy grin, eliciting a bright laugh from him. I jut my thumb to the right as the hall begins to empty as students head to their classes, “I'm gonna head to first, I'll catch up with you at lunch." I pat Conner on the arm in an amicable fashion as I split off and enter my first class.

“Introduction to the Classics: Shakespeare” is technically a junior/sophomore level English class, but this is my last year before I go off to university.  I want to actually take classes I like, rather than more AP’s to make myself look smarter to universities, especially since all anyone seems to care about is METS anymore. This class is taught by Mr. Roads; he just got hired this year when Mrs. Pappas retired and he's a shrewd hard-ass who thinks that since I'm the only senior in a sophomore/junior level class that I’m just too stupid to get into higher-level English courses, even though  _ I already took them _ . I’m pretty sure he makes it his personal mission to try and make me look like an idiot as much as possible. I try not to let it get to me, since I really do enjoy reading the plays and stuff, but today I could tell when I walked in that he’s feeling even more like an asshole than usual.

"Since no one seems to have done the reading... Oh, Will, how nice of you to _ finally _ show up, have a seat, we're taking a pop quiz on the reading you were  _ supposed _ to do last night." Mr. Roads immediately shoots me a dark look as I walk through the doorway, the students inside fumbling with varying noises of complaint. I glance up to check the clock on the wall, 7:57.  _ Wow, he’s really out for it today, isn’t he? _ I take a seat by the window as he begins passing out the pop-quiz.

I did the reading the night before, thankfully before that crazy business with the comet and the purring  _ \- I really should not be thinking about that right now -  _ but I'm super glad that I did as I finish the pop quiz pretty quickly.  _ Who even does paper quizzes anymore? _ He comes around and picks them up after about five minutes, much to many in the class’s dismay, and setting them on his desk as he grabs the smartboard pen from the front of the classroom, booting up the machine.

"Take out your Hamlets, we're going to do some in-class reading." He snaps with a sharp tone as he writes the act and scene on the board once it’s alive. I take out the play and open it to the place we were supposed to have left off for the reading the night before, and I can't help but feel excited. I love when we do in-class readings, because it's a chance for me to zone out and day-dream. He almost never calls on me to read, at least he has ever since he figured out I can actually read old English out loud pretty well in comparison to most. In essence, he doesn’t get a chance for him to make a fool out of me, which is really a double win.

I feel my gaze drifting out the window, but despite my better judgment it floats towards the desert sands beyond the highway, knowing the restricted area around the Garrison lies beyond. I feel a tug in my chest as soon as I see the hazy outline of the chain-link fence far in the distance, the twine string around my heart trembling as it aches and tugs towards the window. And, of course, I can’t daydream about the usual things: story ideas, creation of new lore and new pantheons, characters, because naturally my first thought fixes on last night’s events.

_ What could that mean, now that I'm hearing the purr of my dream lion in real life instead of in my dreams? That can’t be good, and that’s putting it mildly. Am I really going crazy? Am I finally snapping? I don’t feel crazy, but how would I know that I am? Crazy people don’t think they’re crazy, after all. _ I glance down when my table begins to rattle audibly and realize that it’s because I'm bouncing my leg on the table’s bar. I take a soft breath and will it to stop.  _ Relax. _

"Will, please read lines 75 to 85 to the class." I snap back into focus as Mr. Roads’ barking voice calls my attention to the present, quickly looking down at my book from where I was staring out the window,  _ thank God I’m on the right page.  _ I read quickly to make it seem like I was paying attention as best as I can, since I totally wasn’t.   
"'... To be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand.'" I finish, looking up at Mr. Roads where he stands at the front of the class, one hand rested on his desk. I can't help the slightly smug smile that spreads across my face.  _ See, I was paying attention. Better luck next time, ass. _

"So, Will, what do you think Hamlet is implying?" Mr. Roads begins with his usual, not quite a scowl but not quite a happy expression.  _ Is he ever truly happy, though? I mean, with how he’s such an asshole most of the time I can’t imagine he’s feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside. Although, with everyone’s focus on science and shit, I bet he’s grown jaded with people not giving a shit, but haven’t I proven that I’m not like that? Wouldn’t he treat me better, if not at least  _ **_decently_ ** _ with that knowledge? Well, he obviously hasn’t even spoken to people in his own department because he thinks I haven’t taken any harder classes, so maybe he’s just like that. Shit, right, Hamlet, implications- _

"I assume it's something like... it feels more special to be selected, like, out of everyone in the group you’re the one that got chosen." I stumble with the explanation, crossing my arms over my desk as Mr. Roads raises his curling eyebrow at me.  _ What else could he be implying? This part of the act isn't really the important part I’d think, but the whole thing is pretty loaded with meaning. Why don't we ever talk about his constant suicidal thoughts and questioning of reality, especially as its tied to his father? Why is this part in particular relevant? Oh God, he’s probably gonna put it on a quiz, isn’t he? _

"How eloquent to reword the last phrase as an answer." Some chuckles echo in the class as Mr. Roads turns his back to the class to face the board, which he silences with a mere glance over his shoulder, "Can anyone else proffer anything with original thought?"

I feel my face grow hot, and grit my jaw. _“Ass.”_ I breathe to myself, scowling at my book as I underline the phrase I just read. I write down _‘apparently important’_ in the margins with spiky script, ‘ _I'm sure this is important for some reason, since he made me read it, even if I don’t see it. Potential pop quiz question. Relevancy? In my Hamlet?’_

Only then do I realize how quiet it is in the classroom. Suspiciously quiet. I look up from my play slowly to see Mr. Roads directly in front of me, his gaze is sharp, like a hawk's, peering down his nose at me.

“Mr. Lancaster, why don't you take a walk?” He murmurs with a slick voice like oil poured on water, “And, perhaps, you should stop by Head Miller's office before you return.” He glowers down his nose at me with a curl in his lip and immediately my face burns hot, I can tell that my face is the same color as my hair. Quickly I shove Hamlet into my backpack and keep my gaze cast down in shame as the class erupts into a chorus of  _ ‘ooh you're in trouble’  _ only to be immediately silenced by Mr. Roads’ glare. Despite being the strictest teacher in terms of class conduct, everyone seems to have the grandest old time acting like a bunch of goons. I pick up my backpack and stalk out of the classroom as quickly as feasibly possible with the class’s eyes on my back. 

I had never been sent to the Principal's office before, and here I am, going for the second time in my whole life; second time this week, too.  _ He just thinks that I'm not good enough to be anywhere else. He just wants to make sure I know that he knows. But what kind of fucking educator…  _

I can’t help but grumble angrily under my breath as I trudge down the hall, my converse making soft squeaks against the tile as I shove my hands into my pockets on my way to the Head's office.  _ Stupid.. that shit-head, all this because I whispered under my breath, what is this, thought policing? Is that what he's doing now? Or was he just looking for an excuse after I showed him up by actually paying atten- _

**_Will._ **

I freeze, turning around and looking down the hall… except it’s barren. As I gaze around ahead of me to see from where the voice came I see there's nothing, no one. The school hall is unusually silent, in fact.

**_Will._ **

I whirl around, gasping, the voice was  _ right there _ , whispering in my ear, but again there's no one there. I'm just spinning in a circle, alone in the barren hall,  _ like a crazy person. _

"Who’s there? Who are you?" I call into the hall, fighting to keep my voice from shaking but nothing answers. Nothing, for a solid minute. 

_ That’s it. This is definitely it. I  _ **_am_ ** _ crazy. I have snapped, that’s a voice, a real life imaginary voice talking to me. Well, not real life, because it’s imaginary… Fuck. I am actually going crazy _ . 

I shoulder my backpack and keep walking, albeit at a faster pace now.  _ Maybe the school’s just haunted. Fucking hell, if this turns into some horror movie shit, I'm fucking dropping out. I'll go to the stupid space academy, I am not gonna be the first murder victim by some crazy ghost, haunting some crazy person- _

Suddenly like a flash grenade a stream of white light crashes right into my eyes. I’m vaguely aware that I’m stumbling back when the images come, like the ocean tide crashing over me;  _ a sanded path through the desert, under the fence, past towering mesas, the deep craggy cut of a ravine into the earth. A cave entrance, markings, glowing bright blue, ancient lions carved into the stone dancing among stars… _

The light fades and darkness envelops my vision, only broken by the light of the golden-yellow eyes of a lion staring down from above me, penetrating me like they’re seeing into my very soul. I feel it, that purr in my chest, but it’s so powerful it feels like it’s rattling my bones; the purr from last night is like that of a kitten’s in comparison to this. 

The next thing I know I'm sitting on the floor of the empty hallway of my school; no yellow eyes, no glowing carvings of lions, and no caves.

_...Okay. _

I slowly rise to my feet, and I’m vaguely aware that my hands are shaking as I plant them on one of the walls of lockers lining the walls to steady myself. _ That's the second time I've heard from this white lion outside of my dreams, technically counting when I heard it purring when the comet crashed last night. _

_ This has got to mean something. _

_ This is the first time that I've seen visions like these, too. My dreams aren’t like that, not at all, but that cave... it's in the desert! I saw the path, almost as if the lion was showing it to me, it's in that big stretch of desert that surrounds the Garrison, where nobody goes... _

_ I have to go find that cave. _

I look at the clock on the wall, 8:39. I need to haul if I wanted to get out before the bell for next period rings. I barely think, I just break into a dead sprint. My backpack jumps wildly on my back as I run towards the front doors of the school like I’m being chased and I glance back briefly, idly wondering at how much trouble I'm going to be in later. I'd not only not gone to the Head's office, but now I’m just up and leaving the school...

_ Sounds like a problem for later. Right now... I have to follow my gut. Something big is happening, something bigger than me, and I need to find out what. I can’t let this feeling persist anymore.  _

I grab my bike from the rack just outside school, unlocking it and then peddling onto the street. There were a few cars driving by when I ran out but the road is now empty. 

_ Alright. Now… how the hell am I supposed to find this cave based on nothing but the barest flash of some vision? _

_ Oh man, I have seriously not thought this through. _

My gaze follows the street curve, bent and broken in the concrete from disrepair, and floating beyond, to the desert lying just over the cusp of the hill on the far side of the road.  _ The Garrison is that way, the chain-link fence is the very edge of its borders... I suppose that’s a good place to start. _

I pedal onward, standing in the seat as I look beyond the broken concrete, blinking against the desert sands getting kicked up by the wind, when the strangest thing happens. When I blink, I can almost see the path I'm supposed to take, a white trail in the ground it’s lit by the Earth’s core beneath my feet.

_ Okay, that’s fucking freaky.  _

_ Oh, I’m _ **_definitely_ ** _ crazy.  _

_But..._ _I mean, I ought to use this weird path to help guide me to this cave. I've gone well past crazy now, might as well go all out. Fucking hell, I wonder what my therapist would say… You know, after they had a stroke._

I pedal onward, hopping the highway’s metal rail and racing down the sand covered rocky hill to the dust basin below that leads towards the outer edges of the Garrison. I only stop occasionally to walk on foot over a particularly craggy spot in the stone, or when the rise of a hill makes my calves scream. Before long, I arrive at the fence. 

It used to be electric, but no one has tried to break into the academy zone for several decades, so they haven’t felt pressured to fix it up; I know because of the amount of cadets who hop it to go to student house parties from my school.  _ Luckily for me, that applies both ways. _

I gaze beyond the fence at the desert, broken up by plateaus, craggy riverbeds and canyons, scattered and dotting the landscape.  _ Alright, one problem at a time. How do I get through this fence?  _ I glance up at the towering chainlink. It’s about 12 feet tall with curling barbed wire at the top, rusted but still sharp.  _ Definitely not going over it. This thing goes all the way around the Garrison property, so no going around it… So I gotta go through it or under it. _

I dump my bike on the ground and kick the bottom of the fence experimentally for any weakness in the chain-link. I nearly topple when it gives away surprisingly easy to my left, and as I get down onto my knees I see that there’s a crevice dug into the sand, like a dingo or something dug a hole under the fence.  _ Well then. Perfect. _   
I get down on my stomach and shimmy on the sand to slide under the fence. The chain links scratch the back of my neck, and as I slide forward the chainlinks catch my backpack on its spokes and prevent me from pushing forward. I grumble angrily under my breath and maneuver to the side, attempting to unhitch my backpack but to no avail, it’s practically pinning me to the ground. I huff in frustration and shrug the straps off my shoulders, and once I’m free of its confines I squeeze through the hole, only then turning to wrest my backpack through. I tug and tug, and finally I find where it's caught and untangle it from the rusty spokes. I glance back at my bike I left lying on the other side.  _ It's too big to fit under the fence.  _

_ Fuck it, I'll come back for it later. This… thing is taking full precedent right now. _

I sigh and continue following my mind's path on foot.

After walking for a few minutes, I pull the flannel off my shoulders, now sweating buckets as the Texas sun beats down on me. Sand kicks up into my eyes with the searing breeze, and I lift a hand to shield them as I gaze about the desert, following the white trail that flickers every time I blink. 

The longer I walk, the bigger the plateaus became, and more numerous. There isn't a definite path, not from what I can see, and the desert actually seems relatively devoid of signs of human contact the further I go onto Garrison property. I think I'm definitely taking a path that’s less travelled, or at least not for some time. I trudge across the cracking earth, keeping my head down to avoid the sand that rises with the breeze. _God, fuck the wind. Anywhere else on the planet the wind is a welcome, cooling thing, but in the fucking hell of the southwest it’s like Satan’s roasting fart._ _I fucking hate Texas._

As I walk on, the cracked, dried earth melts away into rock, and when I look up I see a craggy ravine digging into the desert sand just in the distance, hiding in the shadow of a shallow mesa, and as I reach the lip I peer down at the ravine. It’s deep, cut from an ancient, long dried river that sanded down sides and rocky outcroppings. I peer along the sides to look for a smooth way down, but there’s no path; I’ll have to slide down the loose rocks and buffeted sands in order to get to the bottom. I close my eyes to confirm with the weird white path in my head,  _ Goddamnit it’s like I’m communing with the astral plane or some shit _ ; as suspected, it leads directly down the sloped side to the ravine below.  _ Alright then, let’s go.  _ Cautiously I open my eyes and get low, skimming my fingertips in the rock and slide down the gravelly side to the bottom. 

Near the bottom the rocks grow more solid and don’t give beneath my weight, leading me to practically fly down the ravine side with the pull of gravity. I stumble and desperately attempt to slow down and nearly smack into the opposite side of the ravine when I finally reach the base of the ravine, but luckily, I grind to a halt just beforehand. I let out a ragged breath, a hand resting on the stone of the mesa ahead of me before then closing my eyes, turning my head side to side. The white trail leads me to the right, across the rock where the ravine grows deeper. I turn and follow. 

This light, my instincts, my gut, whatever, leads me deeper into the ravine and fortunately from down here I’m shielded from the beating sun, searing wind, and biting sand, the Texan trifecta of hell. I let out a relieved breath and run a hand through my hair, shaking the sand out as best as I can as I walk along when suddenly, the white trail behind my eyes veers to the left, off where the ravine dips farther down into the solid stone. I pause and peer down the slope and as my gaze locks on the deep, black hole below, I feel the purr, just like in my dreams, just like last night; the thread in my chest, the one that’s tied to this place, yanks me towards cave entrance nestled in this ravine. 

_ Oh yeah, this is it. _

I shoulder my backpack as I stare down below, I can feel sweat has soaked into my olive t-shirt at my shoulders and down my spine in a gross, slick, waterslide.  _ God, I fucking hate Texas.  _

Slowly I pick my way down the steep drop to the cave below.  _ If I wasn’t following this path in my head, I don’t think I would’ve been able to find this place. It’s pretty well hidden, nestled in the ravine like this.  _ The track of the journey had kept me preoccupied, but now that I’ve arrived at my destination the anxiety returns. I try to ignore how badly I'm shaking as I descend down into the darkness, swallowing the lump in my throat as I skid down just before the mouth of the cave. It’s big enough to fit three, four people across.  _ Now's not the time to think, only to follow. Don’t overthink it. This place may just have the answers I’m looking for.  _

The cave is dark and cavernous, and it feels strangely cool in comparison to the beating Texas heat outside. I wipe the sweat from my brow with a slightly relieved huff as my eyes slowly adjust to the darkness, my feet treading carefully across the surprisingly smooth rock floor. I rest my hand against the chilled wall, the rocky walls growing defined in the backlight of the sun peering within from outside. This was the part with the glowing lion runes, bright blue in the walls, but as I wipe at the cave grime, I see nothing like them. It looks like an ordinary cave, with ordinary cave walls… not that I’ve been in enough caves to know, but I don’t see anything particularly magic or anything about it. _Fucking hell, where are they? The vision seemed to be accurate in leading me to this place, why wouldn’t it-_

I hear the voices that echo into the cave from the ravine outside. "I think it's here!" 

Immediate ice seizes my veins as I whirl around as the voice trails downward to me and for a split second I wonder if Mr. Roads somehow knew that I had evaded the Head's wrath and had come to hunt me down himself to drag me back for judgment.

"You sure this is the right place, Pidge?" Another voice, lower than the first, pipes up, and I can see their shadows as they approach the mouth of the cave. At least 3 other people, maybe more. _Fuck, what if they’re Garrison officials?_ _Should I say something? Should I hide? How did they find this cave?_

Before I can formulate a plan shadows enter, casting me in darkness. Ss soon as the first person stumbles in, someone of slight build, followed by someone of much larger build, they freeze; I can't distinguish their features with the back-lighting from outside the cave but I can feel their gaze on me as three more shadows mingle behind them, pressing within right as the slighter built shadow smacks their chests for their attention. _ Well, shit. They've seen me now. _

A figure, behind the first two to stumble in, steps between them and barks at me in an accusatory, authoritative tone, "Who are you? How did you get here?" His voice husky and full of suspicion, and as he steps threateningly deeper into the cave I can distinguish his features. 

I can practically smell the brooding on this fellow, his dark black hair is cut with fringed bangs hanging in the front and longer hair curling around the base of his neck. Frankly, it looks straight up like a mullet, shit that was popular in the 2090’s but died pretty quick because they’re horrendous… but it strangely is becoming of this stranger.  _ No fucking way, that should definitely not be possible. But here it is.  _ Despite the darkness of the cave, the fairness of his skin is unmistakable, _ he must not be from around here, like me, with skin like that, he’s probably sunburnt from being outside for five minutes.  _ His eyes are dark, and they shine in the darkness of the cave like a wolf's, glinting and sharp like the edge of a knife. He’s wearing this…  _ abhorrent _ red jacket, with a popped white collar and a yellow stripe across his chest, and frankly if I wasn’t stressed about the situation I would’ve  _ definitely  _ mocked the fuck out of it.  _ That jacket is a crime against humanity, what is  _ **_that_ ** _.  _ He has a utility belt strapped to his waist that has two small satchels strapped on his waist but it’s too big for him, it hangs on the edge of his black jeans at a jilted angle. And, of course, black and red boots to pull the horrible look together, like he  _ purposefully  _ grouped the clothes together that way. He slowly approaches me with one of his hands, clad in _ fucking fingerless gloves, oh yeah he’s  _ **_definitely_ ** _ not from around here _ , reaches behind his back. 

_ Oh shit. I sure hope he doesn’t have a taser on him. _

"Uh... Yeah, I can explain!" I answer anxiously, holding my hands up in surrender and taking an intimidated step back. I strain my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the cave while watching the rest of the new arrivals but they aren’t coming forward into the light, I can’t see who they are just yet.  

I want to be cautious, but if they found this cave… they might have some insight into what the ever-living fuck is going on around here.  _ Maybe they were brought here by what brought me? _ This boy with  _ disastrous  _ fashion taste is definitely no Garrison official, he even looks like he’s my age.  _ Alright, so no danger of getting turned in… yet. Come on, Will. Be up front. Be honest. _ "...Okay, listen, I know this sounds crazy, but I had this dream… er, multiple dreams, actually..."

"Dreams?" Another of the five steps forward into the light, and I can finally see his face. He seems older than the first, and he’s taller than all the others in the entourage. The new speaker is Asian in descent, with an undercut and a patch of white hair in the front that hangs just over his slanted eyes. A dark, old looking scar cuts across the bridge of his nose, which would have been an intimidating look if his grey eyes weren't so... warm, surprisingly friendly. He's well built, clad in black, and  _ definitely  _ looks like a Garrison official as no normal person holds their shoulders in such a way, that’s an obvious militant stance that’s wide and commanding yet still and assertive. Glinting in the light, his right arm catches my eye; it’s black, but shiny instead of clothed like his other arm, yet it's not because of the clothes he wears. The long sleeved shirt stops at the shoulder on his right side side, fringed like it was ripped off, which is where I see the glinting metal begin, shining like a mirror reflecting the cast sunlight. It’s a prosthetic, yet it’s one unlike I'd ever seen as I inspect it closer. It's so complex and intricate, it looks like any normal arm except for its metallic edges. Prosthetics are certainly incredibly real looking now a days, but this one has curves like natural muscles and metal instead of plastic; it’s surprisingly realistic even though it appears to be made of something like iron, like he spray painted his real arm to make it look like that.

His gray gaze flickers to the side as he steps closer, holding out a hand out a bit in front of the one who spoke first, like he’s holding him back. The brooding one with the awful clothes backs down a little, but his hand is still out of sight behind his back as the other man’s stormy eyes focus back on me. 

"Yes. Dreams." I respond with uncertainty, my eyebrows furrowing as I point to the walls of the cave, "These... I don’t know, okay, this sounds absolutely fucking crazy but I have had dreams about a lion, you see, and when that asteroid, comet thing crashed yesterday, I started to… hear it while I was awake.” The gathered cluster of strangers stare at me, I can  _ feel  _ their judgement, and I find my voice rising in anxiety, “I got another one today, only about twenty minutes ago, I swear it’s true, I’m not crazy, I just think that maybe the lion wanted me to come to this place, it  _ showed  _ me-" I turn my gaze back to the scarred soldier, whose grey eyes seem to glimmer in understanding… at least understanding how crazy I sound.  _ Come to think of it… I think recognize him from somewhere.  _

_ Fuck, I sound absolutely out of my fucking mind. _

"What's your name?" The man asks, stepping closer further into the cave. I can't manage to keep my eyes off the scar over the bridge of his nose.  _ That's familiar, definitely familiar. _

"I'm Will Lancaster." I answer tentatively before internally swearing, “I mean… just Will.”  _ Shit, I should’ve just said my first name. What if they rat me out to someone… or worse, they know the name.  _

Another new face stepped closer, appearing in the light. He's larger than the others in all senses of the word, wide and strong with an orange ribbon tied around his forehead that’s slightly hidden under his dark hair. Yet, surprisingly his large stature is in perfect sync with the round, friendly face he wears with gentle eyes to match, like he’s a living teddy bear. His skin is like the bark of a pine tree, he has a flat and wide nose that accentuates the strength in his jaw, and he's wearing a yellow-orange henley and a brown vest with cargo pants; that’s when I notice that he is holding some sort of makeshift device that’s dinging softly, yet incessantly, like a polite microwave timer. His voice, excited and amicable, snaps me back to the present moment, "Lancaster? Like Mr. and Mrs. Lancaster? You must be their son, they talk about you all the time!" 

_ Goddamnit… fuck me.  _

"You’re all from the Garrison?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, trying to keep my voice level. The headband boy nods, rather enthusiastically, actually, before he pauses and flickers his gaze over to the scarred man and the brooding wonder and amending his assurance, "Well, actually… I mean,  _ technically  _ it’s just me, Pidge, and Lance." He juts his thumb to the two faceless people behind him, who still have yet to step into the light so I cannot see their faces.

_ I sure hope my parent's stories aren't about my apparent psychosis and crazy dreams, cause that's all I seem to talk to them about lately. _

"Okay, why don’t we do a proper introduction.” The scarred man holds out his hands like he’s mediating a debate, “This is Hunk," The scarred man points to the boy with the headband, who waves with a wide grin that’s so friendly I can’t help but wave back, "Pidge," He points to one hasn't spoken yet, and once he’s referenced I can see him peeking out from behind the big guy, Hunk. He's about a head shorter than me with wild brown hair that curls in crazy angles just above his shoulders like he cut it himself with round glasses that perch out of place on his nose over bright, inquisitive hazel-amber eyes that glimmer in the minimal sun that shines in the cave. He has a large brown backpack on his back that appears to be weighed down by something substantial, accompanied by a green and brown hoodie and the biggest, baggiest cargo shorts I'd ever seen. In his arms he carries something attached to a cord that connected to the dinging device that Hunk’s holding, "This is Keith, and Lance." The scarred man points to the suspicious, broody guy, with the horrible jacket and husky voice, who seemed now relaxed enough to cross his arms instead of hold a hand behind his back. The other, the final one that I haven’t seen, waves as he strides fully into the cave with his gaze on the walls, like he’s looking for something with his hands firmly shoved into his pockets. I’m pretty sure he’s Latino or Hispanic as his skin is a deep chestnut that’s sunkissed along the bridge of his nose and back of his neck; he has a lithe swimmer's body and messy brown hair, yet he has such bright blue eyes that they glimmer like stars and highlight his darker complexion. I raise an eyebrow at him as the scarred man finally juts a thumb at himself, "And I'm Shiro."

_ Oh. My. God. _

_ Wait, what? _

My eyes flying wide as I stare at the scar across the bridge of his nose, recognition immediately starts clicking into place,"You're Shiro?  _ The _ Shiro? Like, the Shiro who was a part of the Kerberos mission? The one that..." Shiro nods, solemnly, which honestly raises more questions than answers. "My parents told me you were dead!” I proclaim, “I ... I went to your funeral and everything!" I find myself stammering, shaking my head as I try to wrap my head around this new information.  _ How the fuck can he be alive, what with his whole spacecraft going missing in the outer reaches of the solar system? _

I hadn't wanted to go to his funeral but Shiro was a big deal to my parents because he was the youngest something or another to be sent on serious missions or something, but what I’m certain of is that he’s the reason why we moved to Texas; the Garrison hired my parents as additional support to the staff because of the Kerberos tragedy, where the whole rocketship just up and vanished off the face of the galaxy on a mission to Pluto’s moon. I wanted to support my parents, as they were really upset about his death, so I donned a suit and went with them to the service. It was nice, I remember that I sobbed rather hard afterwards and thought for about a day that I wanted to be an explorer just like Shiro that's how much it touched me. But that dream quickly died because I remembered I hated the idea of going to space: too much powerlessness and nothingness that I can get on Earth.

Shiro eyes say he has more questions than anything else as he simply states, "It's a long story."

I turn to look at the others, my heart falling in my chest, "So... Wait, so y'all  _ didn't  _ have dreams of this place? How could you have found it without?"

Lance looks away from the walls of the cave to furrow his eyebrows at me, swinging his arms out wide with what looks like a derisive look, "Um, yeah, no, we were following Hunk and Pidge’s super weapon finder thing, not crazy lion dreams." He gestures with his hands over to Hunk and Pidge, who were now messing with their dinging device, I think to try and shut it up. 

Shiro's eyes flicker over at him with a reprimanding tone, "Lance."

"I'm not crazy!" I snap back at him, curling my lip, "It's true! The lion brought me here, so if it's not true for you, then how  _ did _ you find this cave? I didn't think anyone could find it unless they were looking for it, like I was, cause I don’t know if you noticed but it’s pretty well hidden!" 

Lance has a comfortable looking blue, green, and white jean jacket on, and a white shirt underneath, which he fished in the pockets of as if looking for a fuck to give. 

_ I can already tell that I am not gonna like him. _

The suspicious one, Keith Shiro had called him, answers me in a far more amicable tone than when he first addressed me, as in not straight up aggressive, "There were all kinds of anomalies, generating a bunch of interference that triangulated into this area. Whatever’s doing it is something with a wild energy signature that messes with all kinds of instruments. I wasn't able to pull it together until Shiro's arrival last night." Keith crosses his arms over his chest as he jabs a thumb at Hunk as he loudly twists a knob on his device, "We tracking it with Hunk's device and it brought us here." 

Hunk holds up his dinging device with a proud grin right as he and Pidge seem to turn the right switch and the dinging ceases.

Shiro nods in agreement, "Keith did a lot of the work for us. Without his triangulation and analysis I don’t think we would’ve been able to find it so quickly." I raise an eyebrow as Shiro gazed over fondly at Keith, who meets his gaze with softness I didn’t think was possible for such a sharp gaze. I can tell that they've known each other for a while, if not related in some way. They don’t  _ look  _ like they’re siblings, and I didn’t think Shiro had a brother,  _ and _ I don’t remember seeing this kid at the funeral. I think I would’ve noticed someone with his appalling fashion sense and dark demeanor…

_ Wait a minute, Shiro’s arrival? _

"Shiro's arrival?" I mirror my thoughts as I turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow. He merely meets my gaze evenly, something flickering behind his stormy gaze that I can’t decipher. In my mind’s eye I remember it, the purr, the falling comet as it crashes just beyond my line of sight far behind the shadowy mesas of the Garrison beyond. It all comes clicking into place. 

"It wasn't a comet last night. It was you." I ask rhetorically, my hands fixing themselves on my backpack straps. Shiro nods in response. I frown, biting my lip as the burning question slides onto my tongue, and finally I meet his gaze, "How did you get here? And what happened to you and your team on Kerberos? Since you’re… you know… not dead."

Shiro pauses, his eyebrows drawing together as he begins with a firm, steady tone, “It's still a bit hazy, but I remember we got captured." Shiro’s gaze looks guarded, shrouded in uncertainty; he seems relatively easy to read, but I can’t tell if it’s veritable. 

"What? Captured? By who?"

Shiro frowns as he crosses his arms, speaking in a hushed voice "The Galra." 

I stare at him with complete lack of comprehension. Shiro begins to explain in a tentative tone, like he’s afraid of being overheard, "They're aliens that are seeking to conquer the entire universe… and they are getting close to succeeding." 

Mentally, I’m completely hitched on  _ aliens that are conquering the entire universe. What sort of goddamn Sci-Fi bullshit is this? Is he fucking with me right now? _

_ I suppose it’s just about as crazy as following a lion into the desert because it sent you some crazy visions and made you… I don’t know, feel things? _

I can't help how my eyes widen as Shiro continues, his troubled gaze downward to the cave floor, "... I somehow escaped, and all I know was that I had to get here and find a weapon, something called Voltron." Shiro's expression looks to be one of genuine confusion, yet despite how I’m quite literally reeling something in my memory clicks at the word. My entire core shakes as I’m assaulted by the purr from within me, for the  _ third time  _ in the last twenty/four hours; I don’t trust myself to speak any louder than a whisper, "... Voltron?"

Shiro pauses at my tone, blinking with a raised eyebrow, "You know it?" 

The purr is so loud, so unceasing, it feels like it’s literally vibrating my skeleton like it’s on vibrate. I glance around at the five strangers in the cave, but they don’t appear to notice anything’s amiss, at least beyond the whole crazy world rocking idea that there are real life  _ aliens  _ who are trying to conquer the  _ universe _ . Nonetheless, I can't believe that they can't hear it, it’s so damn loud. Shiro watches me curiously as I rest my hand over my heart. 

"I... I don't know." I don't bother bringing it up,  _ no reason for them to think that I’m any more crazy than they probably already do, _ "But I’ve heard that word before. In my dreams, I think." 

Shiro regards me with a look I wasn’t expecting, something caught between something tender and worried. I think now I can pinpoint exactly what Shiro's demeanor reminds me of; he's kind of parental, despite his grizzled appearance.  _ Seems charismatic, explains why he was so popular at the Garrison. _

"Whoa." Lance whispers in the corner. I blink past Shiro as Lance brushes the dust off the walls, peering at the stone inquisitively; as soon as his hand touches the wall a sudden, bright blue light illuminates the cave, shining so brightly that the darkness is completely eradicated. The light originates from the very stone, deep within carvings that I never would have seen without the light; there are so many, carvings of lions traveling in packs of six, racing with powerful strides across fields of stars and through rivers and streams, leaping over entire planets made of water. I take a step back from the wall, and our surprise echoes in the cave as we inadvertently congregate in a circle. I bump into Shiro, who rests a hand on my shoulder as if to steady me.

"They've never done that before." Keith mumbles from my right. His eyes, almost deep blue or violet in the electric blue light of the carvings, are wide in shock. Before I can question  _ what do you mean, before what, _ the cave suddenly began to shake and rumble, the ground unsettling beneath our feet

I let out a short breath, "Okay, just for the record to show I’m not crazy! I saw this shit in my dream!" 

Suddenly the stone floor erupts in the same blue light as the carvings, the jagged light carving a circle around where we stand, then, without warning, the stone earth crumbles beneath our very feet.

I yell and attempt to scramble for a hold as I slip and fall into the hole in the earth, gaining no purchase on the surprisingly slippery rock. Water splashes onto me as we drop, crashing into one another as we slide into a narrow, watery tunnel that we’re all descending through with varying cries of surprise and fear. I bump against a slope, the fall turning into a sort of water slide that splashes me with cold water from all sides and soaking into my clothes.

_ Yep, definitely not sweating anymore.  _

We slide down this natural water slide of a tunnel, fortunately the stone is smoothed otherwise it would’ve been  _ incredibly  _ painful to bump and jostle along a rough surface, until it suddenly spits us out into a wider space and, of course, into more water. It’s almost a pond, it’s no more than ankle deep, like a rather large puddle. I twist and skid just out of the entryway to the right hand side, and good thing too as the rest of the party slide behind me and fall into a jumbled heap beneath the mouth of the tunnel with varying cries of pain and groans. 

I shake my head, water clings to the strands at awkward angles as I feel my backpack sliding down my shoulders by strained, soaked straps. My heart rate spikes. _Fuck, my textbooks!_ I sit up in the sopping wet water and quickly toss my backpack out of the water, sending it skidding away like a skipping stone. _Hopefully they escaped any sort of permanent damage._ I frown at my feet as the chilled water soaks into the cloth of my thick green converse, internally sighing. _I’m utterly drenched._ _There's nothing worse than wet socks._

_ I can officially say this is the worst outing I’ve ever endeavored upon. _

Lance sits up in the water beside me, resting on his knees with his feet beneath him as his gaze suddenly snaps to stare behind me. His mouth hangs agape, and after a brief beat he whispers in quiet shock,  _ "...Whoa." _

I turn to follow his gaze and I’m met with the golden-yellow eyes of a massive mechanical lion.

It's at least three to four stories tall with claws and teeth as large as a lamp post, barrel-chested that’s about as wide as a classroom. It’s covered in thick, metal plating that’s as blue as the Mediterranean, unmarred and unscarred with time, it almost looks like it got a fresh paint job this morning it’s so pristine. It's sitting in a truly catlike pose with its tail curled around its front paws, yet what’s surprisingly most interesting about it is that it’s surrounded by something I've never seen before; it looks to be a dome-shaped barrier, like a mega-huge golf ball encased around it glowing the same brilliant, bright blue like the light of the carvings in the cave. I let out a breath, amazed. Just one of its claws is as big and long as a car at the least, and its design is so intricate! I can see the structure beneath the metal plated exterior, pistones as large as steel beams that support skyscrapers, cogs the size of a garage door, and just like Shiro’s prosthetic it curves like real muscle and sinew. There is some symbol etched into a plate on its shoulder much like a pauldron that reminds me of a sergeant’s medal; it’s simplistic, winged, yet unlike any sort of medallion or sigil I’ve ever seen. 

"Is this it?" Pidge speaks up beside me, stumbling to his feet as water drips from his hair and sliding down his round, circular glasses that reflect the blue light of the barrier encompassing the lion,"Is this the Voltron?"

"It must be." Shiro answers, his gaze affixed in awe on the lion. 

Keith rises from his feet quickly, water trickling from the dark hair that hangs in front of his eyes as he immediately strides towards it without hesitation, murmuring thoughtfully in a manner more like he’s speaking to himself, "This must be what's creating all this crazy energy out here." I stand as well, water squelching in my converse as I pick up my backpack from the safer, drier ground.

"It looks like there's a force-field around it." Keith continues, his gaze fixed up at the yellow gaze of the mechanical lion as he strides ahead of us. I turn and follow him, and idly I begin to wonder just how he fits into this mixed up group. Hunk had said only he, Pidge, and Lance were cadets, and Shiro’s like the symbol of the Garrison...  but him? He seems to be what my father would call "insubordinate"; he doesn't seem like the type to want to follow the rules, and he definitely doesn’t appear to be disciplined, at least not like Shiro is. Well, in all fairness the cadet trio don’t seem all that disciplined either, and he’s also so broody it's almost stereotypical, he can't _ not _ be doing that on purpose.  _ I’m sure I’ll figure it out when I can get a better read on him.  _

"Does anyone else get the feeling that it's staring at them?" I turn to see Lance strafing from side to side, his eyes glued to the gaze of the mechanical lion with a look like a cat that’s spotted the source of a red dot on the light. 

"Uh, No." Shiro answers with a confused gaze, watching Lance as he walks back and forth with a raised eyebrow. I can't help but chuckle to myself. And apparently,  _ I'm  _ the crazy person.

"Yeah, the eyes are  _ totally _ following me." Lance says as he ducks from one side to the other, leaning from one hip to the other like he's stretching.

"I wonder how we get through this." I turn to Keith as he murmurs softly, stopping just before the force-field and laying his hands along its surface. It wavers like a heat vision but holds firm, its form surprisingly substantial despite the hazy movement under his hand. I stand beside him and do the same, and immediately I can feel the power coursing within. It’s like electricity running just beneath the surface, but stronger; a lightning storm trapped between two pieces of glass. 

"Maybe you just have to knock?" Lance shrugs, as if this should be obvious. He strides up next to me, reaching out a hand and without hesitation he raps twice on the barrier. With a sudden pulse, we all take a startled step back as a ripple waves away from the place where Lance touched and the barrier falls with it, piece by piece, til it vanishes, a massive halo effect from a mere touch. Blue smoke traces Lance's hand as he pulls away, yet he doesn’t seem hurt in the slightest, it’s like some sort of faerie light that briefly ghosts his hand before it fades. Suddenly, an unseen force rattles the cave and drives wind through us like we're on a high-standing cliff, and I find us all taking a step back with mixed expressions of fear as the ground pulses around the lion, glowing so bright blue for a split moment that it casts the rest of the cave in darkness. 

Just like before, a vision washes over me with a blast of turquoise light.

There are more lions, 5 others as well as this one: this blue lion, a red lion, a green lion, a yellow lion, a black lion, and a white lion. They fly in the sky with trails of the color on their backs behind them before they interlock together in a stream of mechanics like nothing I've ever seen before. A massive, metal robot man stands in their place once all stills, each of the lions seeming to make up a piece of its body: the red and green lions as the right and left arms respectfully, the blue and yellow as the right and left legs, the white lion as the chest and the black as the head. Its figure seeming to dance among the stars as it produces a longsword from the maw of the red lion that composes its right arm and as it swings it through the cosmos a potent pulse that waves outwards is almost tangible, I can feel the power blasting me in the face. Its glowing yellow eyes gleam as it swings the sword with a practiced slice right as an unheard voice echoes in my being, my thoughts grow completely still as its name forms on my tongue:  _ Voltron. _

As suddenly as it came, the vision is over. I'm back, standing in the cavern and staring up at the mechanical blue lion.

"Whoa." We all whisper in unison. I turn to look at the congregation to see a matched bewildered expression on all of their faces. 

Lance flickers his eyes to either side at each of us with a slack jaw, "Uh, did everyone just see that?!" 

_ They saw the vision too. I'm not alone.  _

_ Thank God, maybe I’m not  _ **_that_ ** _ fucking crazy. _

"Voltron is a robot!" Hunk cries out, clenching his fists in front of him as his voice crackles in excitement, "Voltron is a huge,  _ awesome  _ robot!"

"And this thing is only one part of it!" Pidge speaks up next, his hands falling to his sides as he scrunches his nose to push up his glasses to better peer up at the lion, "I wonder where the rest of them are."

"This is what they're looking for." Shiro speaks in an even tone, his gaze is locked on the lion. Keith's broody demeanor seems to have fallen; he seems much like a young boy staring up at a skyscraper for the first time as he murmurs,  _ "Incredible." _

Suddenly, a loud purr shakes the cavern as we in junction let out very manly shrieks. I take a step back as the lion's eyes suddenly flare to life, glowing just like the lion in my dreams.

It moves.

We all stumble backwards as the lion shifts, rising first to its four feet before crouching down to face us, its yellow eyes illuminate the dark cave as it opens its massive jaws, the inside of its mouth is as big as a foyer. With a hiss of steam a wide ramp inside is lowered from between the jutting canines of the lion’s mouth, right where the tongue would be. As suddenly as it moved, the lion freezes in this new position, yet the golden light in its eyes remain as bright as before, if not brighter. 

_ Guess it wants us to go inside? _

I blink in surprise when all grows still, and as I gauge the status of the others I see that Lance hasn't move throughout this exchange, his eyes is hyper fixed to the lion. He glances over at me when he feels my gaze, his eyebrows raising in curiosity before he suddenly smirks broadly like a mischievous imp. Without a word he jogs up the ramp. 

“Um, Lance? Maybe we should think about this..!” Hunk calls after Lance, but it’s futile, he’s already disappeared behind the lion’s teeth. The others quickly follow suit after him, and as I walk up to the ramp and I can't help but hesitate. I stare into the lion's eyes, the bold light from within with a furrowed brow.  _ I don’t think this is the lion from my dreams. This one’s blue, but the one in my dreams, although a literal lion, is white. Fucking hell, this is leading to a hell of a lot more questions than answers. _ My chest thrums for a mere moment like a second heartbeat just as I step aboard the ramp, but as I pause it vanishes like it never happened.  

_ Just to remind me that I am the crazy one here, I guess.  _

_ This really is just a whole lump of Sci-Fi bullshit, isn’t it? Jesus Christ. _

As I go up the ramp into the lion's mouth I spot an open doorway on the left side of its mouth at the very back, next to what looks like a massive turbine at the back of the lion's throat. Inside the door are stairs, spiraling upward with deep blue glowing within the metal beneath and along the sides of the metal walls, flickering strips of power that  _ maybe _ fuel the lion. I follow the blue, glowing stairs up, and when it ends it spills out into some sort of control room where the others have gathered. Lance is sitting in the pilot's seat, apparently only room for one, while the rest crowd around it to examine the three panels, two on each side and one in front, that look like big sheets of glass with the smooth, black face like the holographic edge of a phone. Out the front and the sides are thick panels of glass, showing the outside world through the eyes of the lion.  _ It really looks like an alien spaceship in here. It can't be man-made, after all, this is far more advanced than anything I've even heard of, I don’t see a steering wheel, or petals, or gauges or whatever the fuck- _

"Hey, just to point out, so we're all clear, we are inside of a futuristic, alien cat head right now." Hunk states with an anxious voice, waving his fingers even as the others pay him no heed, instead regarding the smooth black panels on either side of Lance. They have strange markings beneath them that I don't understand, it must be an alien language and alphabet I've never seen before, but as I watch them I notice they’re not as still as I thought they were; they flicker and pulse like a computer on sleep mode. I stare ahead at the cavern walls through the lion's eyes, so many questions buzzing in my head that I can barely think straight when Lance suddenly snaps up like he just violently woke up from a dream.

"Whoa, did you guys hear that?!" He exclaims with a mixture of excitement and nerves. 

"Hear what?" Keith asks with a raised eyebrow. 

Lance faces forward to regard the panel before him with a pensive, confused expression, "I think it's talking to me." He stares at the panel before him, resting a hand on the arms of the chair. With a sudden jum, two bars snap upwards, the others have to step back to avoid getting struck as they rise just at Lance’s side. They remind me of the controls of a bulldozer yet sleeker, made of the same ocean blue as the rest of the metal in the interior. Lance peers down at them with an expression of wonder, resting his hands on grips before his fingers slowly tighten around them.

I can't help but snicker, "See, now who's the crazy one?"

Lance isn't listening to me in the slightest. He leans forward and examines the panel when immediately the panel lights up with a dull hum, illustrating highlighted buttons along its surface that leap out like a small holographic display. I stare with wide eyes as the other two panels on the left and right burst to life as well, flickering with symbols I don’t understand but are beginning to change before my eyes, like someone’s swiping through system preferences. Before any of us can protest Lance presses a couple of these buttons and with a jolt the lion suddenly moves beneath us, rising to its feet and lifting its snout with a roar like thunder. The others and I shriek in surprise and we desperately cling to Lance's seat from all sides for purchase to keep us from falling, I grab the closest thing to me, which happens to be Hunk’s arm, as I try not to fall over. 

Lance smirks broadly, like he wanted and expected that to happen. "Alright, now let's try this." He places his hands back into the control bars and presses them forward, and with a sudden surge we all cry out as the lion springs forward. It crashes through the solid stone walls of the cavern like they’re merely pebbles to be shoved aside and breaks out into open daylight. 

I cover my eyes as the searing sunlight blinds me, struggling to stay balanced and upright as I feel the lion soaring through the hole it, Lance, just made at a speed I can’t even begin to accurately describe. Shiro and Hunk pressed against my sides hold me steady, but I still grip Hunk like a lifeline.

Lance moves with purpose and the lion follows with a burst of power beneath our feet as it turns to do an upside-down loop, flying at such speeds that only fighter jets should go. I lose my grip and my heart leaps into my throat with a yelp, but before I tumble back and probably fall down the stairs Shiro's hand quickly lashes out, grabbing my wrist tightly. He pulls me back up, and places my hands onto Lance's seat as I catch my breath, and before I can thank him Lance makes the lion do another  _ awful _ loop in the sky.

_ "You're... the worst pilot... ever!" _ Keith yells over the din of our collective cries of terror, struggling to not fall over with every movement Lance compels the lion to make. I suck in breath, realizing that I've been screaming this whole time only to realize that I can't yell any longer, I'm on some wild, completely unsafe roller coaster and now I'm all out of air. Lance _ finally  _ lands onto the earth but he keeps pressed against the lion's controls, causing it to sprint across the desert sands like a cheetah pursuing prey. 

Lance glances aside at us with a wild grin,  _ "Isn't this awesome!?" _

Hunk is nearly in tears, clinging to the side of Lance's seat with an expression that’s positively green, "Make it stop,  _ make it stop! _ "  _ Oh God, please don’t throw up. _

"I'm not making it do anything, it's like it's on autopilot!" Lance cries out excitedly, which honestly inspires the exact opposite of confidence as the lion shudders beneath us,  shaking itself like a dog shaking its coat after racing through a grassy field for the first time in weeks. It pounces on the earth, almost like it’s about to leap over a ravine, but instead it flies up into the sky with a violent burst of thrusters that I can feel in its paws, vibrating the floor of the cabin. 

Keith knocks into me as we attempt to not fall over in the head of this alien lion, and I grab the back of his ugly ass jacket so he doesn't knock me over or go sailing down the stairs, holding him partially against me and partially against the seat. He doesn't seem to care, leaning over to yell at Lance,  _ "Where are you going?!" _

"Did you not just hear me? I just said it's on autopilot!" Lance shouts back, clutching the controls with a tight jaw as the sky grows darker, like the middle of the morning was turning into dusk.  _ Wait… it’s not the sky growing darker. We’re leaving the sky behind. _

_ Oh fuck. We’re going into space.  _

“We’re leaving the atmosphere! Lance, what the hell are you doing?!” I shout once I have the air, my knuckles are white and hurting from how hard I’m gripping the back of his chair as it’s the only thing keeping me from flying into the mouth of the lion and probably into the oblivion beyond it. 

"It says that there's an alien ship approaching Earth!" Lance cries suddenly, his gaze is incredibly focused and determined but it’s somewhere else, somewhere that isn’t on this planet, "I think we have to stop it."

“Excuse me, but  _ what?!”  _ I’m one moment of peace away from throttling some sense into Lance.  _ He sounds like he’s the one that’s gone crazy! How can he hear the lion speaking to him? How does the lion know that someone’s coming? And by someone I mean a fucking  _ **_alien ship._ **

"What did it say, exactly?!" Pidge asks incredulously, giving Lance a doubtful look over his glasses through the jostling. 

Lance huffs indignantly, flickering his gaze from Pidge to his controls, "Well it's not like words exactly, it's like its feeding ideas into my brain! Kind of." He points to his skull, as if to demonstrate, and looks back out the lion's gaze to watch the sky give away. 

I feel a flicker of recognition from deep in my chest, something tight settling over my throat as I answer in a low voice,  "It's feelings, images, like you've done this before in a hazy dream but don't remember until it reminds you." I can feel the gaze of the others on me even as Lance nods, waving his hand at me over his shoulder, "Yeah, exactly, exactly that! You said it."

Hunk interrupts, biting his lip as he seems to be sweating, visibly, "Well if those aliens are here for the weapon, maybe we should give it to them?" He anxiously twists his fingers where they grasp Lance’s left arm tightly, "I don't know, maybe they'll leave us alone?" He looks at the side of the cabin, quickly adding, "Sorry, lion, nothing personal."

Shiro immediately shakes his head, his grasp firm on the right side of Lance's pilot seat, "You don't understand, these monsters spread like a plague through the galaxy, destroying everything in their path! There's no bargaining with them, they won't stop until everything is dead!"

The inside of the lion is very quiet then as we regard Hunk, who looks suddenly and incredibly uncomfortable. He raises a hand in surrender with a sheepish, apologetic look, "Oh. Sorry... never mind then." He states quickly before he turns away, his face greener than ever as he makes a choking noise. _God, please don’t throw up._ _I can’t imagine surviving the jostling we’re experiencing without being sent flying, there’s no way that throwing ‘avoid vomit’ to the challenge would end in anything but disaster._

The darkness beyond the vision of the lion grows absolute, like we’re leaving a fog cloud behind as we break through the atmosphere, until all before us, much to my horror, lay the grand expanse of space. 

I stare in bewilderment at the number of stars, dotting the sky in numbers I’ve never dreamed that seem to go on forever, but I look past it to the space between, the space that’s empty. Space is just as I thought except on such a greater scale, it’s all nothing, there’s this... never-ending-ness to it that it’s simultaneously terrifying and gorgeous.  _ This… it goes on forever. This is what eternity looks like. It’s like when you stare out at the horizon when you can see the curve of the planet’s surface and you know that you’re just a fleck of dust in the cosmos, except this endlessness is all around us. It’s not just in a horizontal, linear line, it’s  _ **_everywhere._ **

This is space. _ I'm in space. _

"Holy shit." I whisper, my eyes wide as I grip the back of the pilot's seat, "I don't think I've ever seen this many stars." Best thing about being in space is that the zero gravity has settled the jostling in the cabin, leaving my hands white knuckled and shaky.

_ Holy fuck. We’re in _ **_space._ **

Suddenly, with a shimmer like a heat wave, the emptiness before us ripples with a flash of some sort of dark violet energy when abruptly a massive, black and purple spaceship snaps before us at a speed I didn’t think was possible, and what’s more it’s so large it’s the only thing in the lion's vision to the point that it completely blocks out the stars.

The dark onyxian metal blends the ship into the blackness of space, save for the brilliant purple lights that accent its features like the glint of a black light shining on its face. Its shape is like that of a long necked bird, there’s a long central piece and two auxiliary wings on the back, that are about a third of the size of the long central neck, and a massive spork looking thing on top, about as long and as large as the neck. It's at least as big as three to four blocks on a street, if not bigger, with the massive wings in the back that flare out, it looks very much like a crane. It’s total size is at least fifty times bigger than the lion we reside in, the size of the Empire State Building in all ways. 

_ Oh my god. Okay. We are in a giant futuristic cat-head, as Hunk put it, and now there are actual, real life aliens right there, right now, in an alien ship. And we are in space. We’re in fucking space and facing off with a real alien ship with real aliens in a fucking cat-shaped thing-  _

"Holy _crow,_ _is that a_ ** _real alien spaceship?!_** " Hunk cries out what we're all thinking, clinging tighter to Lance's left arm as we stare in bewilderment at the ship. _Alien. Spaceship. Oh. My. God._

Shiro's gaze loses its light as he whispers, just barely loud enough for us to hear, "They found me."

I stare at the ship with wide eyes, I’m finding it so hard to breath that it burns my lungs to the point I can only take breaths in ragged gasps.  _ Then… these are the Galra Shiro mentioned. the aliens that are supposedly trying to take over the entire universe. It seemed too incredulous to be real, but given everything crazy that was going on I didn’t have any chance to think about it… but here it is. Right here. Right now.  _

_ Oh my GOD. _

Suddenly, rays of purple light radiate from the ship, blasting out in our direction. We all cry out as the lion begins to twist, bare evasive maneuvers, as Pidge shrieks, "Lance,  _ we gotta get it outta here! _ "

"Hang on, I think I know what to do!" He shouts in response, suddenly pushing the controls in sequential moves forward like he knows exactly what to do. The lion roars to action, flitting out of line of fire with ease as Pidge leans over Lance's right, yelling into his face, "Be careful, man! This isn't a simulator!" 

"Oh good! I always wreck the simulator!" Lance answers, as if that's supposed to  _ make us feel any better what the fuck _ , before he pushes the lion into action. It dodges the oncoming beams as Lance murmurs under his breath, "Let's try this." He pushes one of the buttons on the lit holographic panel before him and the lion's mouth opens beneath us, the grind of metal felt even from within its head as its jaws part. A white-hot blue ray that shakes the cabin from the force blasts the side of the alien ship from the parted jaws of the lion, slicing along the side of the ship like a stray, massive welding beam.  _ This seems like something straight out of some Sci-Fi movie. How the fuck is this happening, how the fuck is this fucking real- _

Lance pushes the controls again as if he's been flying this ship all of his life, leaping the lion forward through empty space and raking its claws into the side of the ship with a scream of metal. As we fly out of range, the curled metal of the ship explodes in the broken crevices where Lance attacked and I admit, my mouth falls open in awe. But when I look back through the side windows of the pilot chamber I see that the ship isn't really in disrepair, I would say the damage done looks like a key scratch on the side of a car.  _ Goddamnit, it looked so impressive up close...  _

"Nice job, Lance!" Shiro exclaims, and I let out a breathless laugh. This machine is certainly powerful, I can’t imagine the number this thing could do on a tank.  _ I couldn't believe how easy Lance made that look. Even though it didn’t permanently dismantle the ship, no singular fighter like the military has would be able to hurt a ship that large to such an extent out here in empty space. And that beam in its mouth, it has a fucking  _ **_cannon_ ** _ in its throat- _

"Okay, I think it's time to bring these guys away from our planet." Lance states with firm determination, turning the lion and flying out into open space with the alien ship left in our wake. 

“What makes you so sure they’ll follow us?” I ask in a bewildered tone, turning backwards and watching the receding form of Earth, slightly marred by the brutish edges of the Galra ship as we peel away at such a speed that within a minute our planet, our home, is but a speck behind us. 

Even though Earth is far behind, the cruiser is not. As I look out the side windows of the cabin, I see that not only is the ship following us, it's gaining.  _ Okay, answers that question.  _

"Uh, Lance, the ship is gaining on us!" Pidge cries, I turn around to see him at the other side window with his gaze fixed on the Galra cruiser at our rear. 

Lance frowns, "That's weird, they're not trying to shoot us, they're just... chasing!"

"Okay, now we think that aliens following us is good?!" Hunk shrieks, clinging to an overhead, jutting piece in the pilot chamber ceiling, "I'm not on board with this new direction, guys!"

"Um, where are we?" Keith asks in a surprisingly level tone, his confused gaze looking out the window through the lion’s eyes. 

“Um,  _ space. _ ” I snap back rhetorically. Mr. Brooding Wonder meets my gaze with complete lack of amusement, so I punctuate it with a wild gesture out the window, “We’re in  _ fucking space. _ ” I realize then in that moment right then that I still have a firm hold on his jacket, pressing him against the chair. I release him, but he doesn't seem to notice, staring just past me and out the gaze of the lion. I turn and follow his gaze to spot what’s captured his attention: a celestial body. It appears to be a moon because it’s surface is just a ghostly white… so perhaps it’s  _ the  _ Moon?  _ But it can't be… that takes something like a whole day to get to in a normal spaceship! _

"The edge of the solar system..." Shiro responds slowly. I blink over at him with wide as as his gaze remains firmly planted on the moon, speaking like he can’t believe his own words, "That's Kerberos."

"What?!" Pidge cries, looking out the window with wide eyes, "It takes months for our ships to get this far! It took us five seconds!"

I blink in shock, my mouth dropping.  _ Kerberos is the moon that orbits Pluto. Like, the Pluto that’s at the very edge of our solar system, Pluto.   _

_ We're literally on the edge of our known universe. This is the farthest that man has been able to go since Shiro's expedition, and we, a bunch of idiots thrown together by chance and happenstance in some alien warship are going farther than anyone on Earth, ever. In a fucking minute no less.  _

What the  **_fuck._ **

I look back at the alien spaceship slowly gaining ground - or space, I guess - behind us.  _ They're able to go even faster and farther than even we are, enough so that it’s a part of their society, since they’re running around conquering things. _

I feel a sudden shiver up my spine, as if a ghost is passing through my being when my dream lion's purr stirs once more in my chest; I feel like it’s some sort of second heartbeat pulse within me, something I can’t quite describe. Yet, as soon as it comes, before I can process what I'm saying I murmur, "Something’s coming."

Keith glances over at me with a raised eyebrow, replying in a questioning tone, "What is?"

Suddenly, without warning, a massive force roars into the cabin like thunder and a flash of light snaps open ahead of the lion. It looks like some sort of portal; there are blue markings and swirls around the edges like cracked paint, leading into what looks like a tunnel within made of swirling stardust. It’s thrumming with a kind of energy I’ve never seen or experienced, but it’s obvious and protruding right in front of us as we hurtle forward. We’ll be upon it within the minute.

Hunk lets out a tense breath, nearing the panicked zone, "Uh, guys,  _ what is that?! _ "

Lance's eyes are wide as he stares at the random tunnel, his grasp on the controls tightening, "Guys, this might be crazy, but I think the lion wants us to go through there!"

Pidge peers at Lance with curious eyes, his fingers grasping tightly onto one of his backpack straps, "Where does it go?" His tone is soft, less frantic, and entirely different than the panicked one we have been using since we’ve entered the lion.

Lance matches it immediately. "I don't know." He answers honestly, flickering his gaze to Pidge over his shoulder before he affixes it back on the portal-like hole before us. "Shiro, you're the senior officer here. What should we do?"  _ Oh, now we’re following orders? Aren’t we well past that, now? _

Shiro takes a moment, staring at the portal briefly before he answers, "Whatever happened back there, this lion seems to know more than we do. I say we trust it." He stares at the space around us, as if looking to see how the lion would react. He meets my gaze as I regard him, and his tone softens into something I can’t describe other than familial, "But we're a team, now. We should decide together." 

_ We're a team now.  _

Something within my chest sparks at the word, and I feel the purr rattle like a bird in a cage within my chest.

Pidge placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder after a second of silence and nods. Hunk for once seems to not be turning green, and staring resolutely at the unknown ahead with a deep furrowing frown.

"I know I'm just a civilian..." I begin speaking and despite the situation I try not to cow at how intimidated I am with all these strangers watching, and listening, to me, "But... I think we have to go. Something about this lion, those aliens back there, Voltron... It's not over. Something here is happening that's bigger than we are. I think we should see it through." I state, as stoic and firm as I can be while being scared absolutely shitless. I’m beyond scared now, it’s just settled to  _ alright we’re in space and we’re being chased by evil aliens or whatever and now we’re about to enter a scary tunnel that leads somewhere we don’t know because a mechanical lion told us to so this is normal now. _

Lance sighs as we face the approaching tunnel, his tone morphing to one that’s surprisingly lackadaisical, "Alright! Looks like we are all missing class tomorrow!" He pushes the controls onward toward the swirling portal, closer and closer by the second. 

We dive within.

The tunnel is dark, but I can't examine my surroundings closely as I desperately cling to the side of the ship to keep from falling, we rattle inside the lion's piloting chamber like the innards of a maraca from the power of the tunnel seeping into the cabin and shaking us about. I almost let go, my grip has been so tight for so long that it aches my fingers, but as suddenly as it begins, it's over, and the cabin settles. I'm able to stand upright again while grasping Lance's seat to examine the exterior, the stars beyond… and the planet that lays displayed before us. 

I have never seen it before. It’s blue and green like Earth, but it has only one, large, brown and green patchy landmass in the center, surrounded on all sides by dark blue oceans. I don’t see any other signs of land besides it on its surface as we approach. 

"Whoa." Lance mumbles, his eyes wide, "That was..." 

Hunk suddenly tenses up, his face going very green as he whips away from us. I barely have time to step out of his way as he throws up all over the floor to the left side of the cabin. 

"So... So sorry." Hunk gasps apologetically between heaves, his hand clasped onto the side of the panel to Lance’s left. I gently pat his back, holding the trail of the ribbon around his head to keep it out of his way. 

Pidge adjusts his glasses with a snarky grin, "I'm just surprised it took this long." He giggles wickedly as Hunk heaves, and I grow suddenly very pleased that I managed to have a strong stomach, considering the circumstances.

"Uh, you're on my foot." Keith murmurs just in my ear, and I blink and immediately shift to my other foot to move it. "Oh shit, my bad." I answer with an apologetic grin, but Keith merely shrugs it off and turns his gaze back to look out the lion's eyes, “Just don’t wanna get thrown up on.” He mutters. I can’t help but smirk as I rub Hunk’s back comfortingly as he attempts to recover.

"I don't recognize any constellations." Shiro murmurs suddenly, his eyebrows furrowed as he looks around through the lion’s eyes with a worried expression, "We must be a long way from Earth." 

I try, and fail, not to get too anxious about that. I think back to Mr. Roads, the Head of school, Conner, my parents. What would they think? Would they even believe me if I told them that I... yeah, no, this is just too crazy to even be thinking about explaining this to someone right now. 

“That’s one big landmass.” I murmur, tapping my lips in thought, “I know this is crazy, but considering all the crazy shit that’s happened… Didn’t Earth used to be one land before it broke apart?” I flicker my gaze to the others while I bite on my lip, “Maybe that tunnel thing made us travel through time?”

“Please, I  _ don’t  _ want to think about that...” Hunk groans before he dry heaves again, bile dripping from his lips to the floor of the cabin. I pat his back again comfortingly. 

“No, the constellations would still largely be the same, even a thousand years ago, because of our placement in the solar system.” Pidge answers in a surprisingly academic tone, and I find myself staring at him with a raised eyebrow as he straightens his glasses on his nose to examine the space through the lion’s eyes, “If there constellations are entirely new, then we are no longer in the same part of space anymore.”

Pidge looks no more than fifteen, he hasn’t even remotely hit puberty yet, but he’s speaking with the same conviction and level of knowledge like my AP Biology professor last year.  _ Or maybe I just don’t know enough about space or constellations or whatever to fact check him.  _

The others don’t rush to correct him though, the only sound in the cabin for a few moments is Hunk just panting and the hum of the holographic panels as the lion floats in space. After a moment the thrusters re-engage as the lion moves forward towards the planet and we move to accommodate the movement, practically used to it by now. 

Lance furrows his eyebrows, "The lion wants us to go to this planet.” He pauses to glance over his shoulder, his gaze is a little starry as he murmurs thoughtfully, “I think... I think it's going home." He mumbles, his hands moving to guide us closer to the blue-green planet. 

We descend into the atmosphere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edited 1/7/19 for continuity, grammar, and description*  
> *Final re-edit 3/10/19*


	2. The Castle of Lions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot has happened over the span of an hour, and now Will is approaching an alien planet in an alien space ship with a bunch of perfect strangers to try and figure out what the actual fuck is going on.  
> Can this day get any weirder?  
> \---  
> Yes, it sure can.

As we break the ozone layer of the planet we begin to gain speed, drawn by its gravitational pull. We cling to Lance's seat in order to stay upright, much to Lance's despair. 

“Guys, seriously, personal space! Hunk, your breath is  _ killing me. _ ” Lance grumbles, leaning a little away from Hunk, who seems to be struggling not to throw up again, on his right hand side. 

“Is it just me, or is anybody else having second thoughts about flying through some mysterious wormhole?” Hunk grasps Lance's left arm, looking at him accusingly as green flushes his face, “Why are we listening to an alien lion anyway?!” 

I huff quietly in response, “Isn’t it a bit late for that?”

“It got us away from that alien warship, didn't it?” Lance counters with a sharp look. Hunk seems pacified by this as he turns away politely to keep his vomit breath out of Lance's face. 

I peer out at the alien skyline as we descend. It appears to be mostly desert with sand the color of a sunset, surprisingly a lot like Texas, down to the dried ravines and fields of cracked mud and sand. The difference is there are massive stretches of what I imagine the Grand Canyon looks like, massive crevices carved into peat colored rock with spiraling stalactites reaching into the sky and rocky outcroppings hanging over them, like the ceilings of massive tunnels that have long given out. Far in the distance, melting into the light blue horizon, I vaguely saw outcroppings of blue-greens, perhaps trees? But they are miles and miles away from where we descend. My gaze flickers below us to the sea of deep indigo far below that blurs indistinctly as we soar into the atmosphere, it’s a massive ocean just like on Earth.  _ If there’s water, then this planet could have inhabitants… More real life aliens.  _

_ I can’t believe this is fucking real.  _

“I don't know if you noticed,” Keith grumbles, his grasp tight on the back of Lance's seat, “But we are  _ in  _ an alien warship.” 

“ _ Aww,  _ are you scared?” Lance teases, throwing Keith a mocking pout over his shoulder. 

Keith merely stares back at him with an even, unchanging gaze, “With you at the helm? Terrified.” 

Shiro quickly cuts them off before Lance can retaliate, “Hey, knock it off!” Shiro states firmly, grasping onto a handhold at the top of the cabin. He regards us each in turn, speaking in a serious tone, “No one is happy to be in this situation, but we are here now. In order to get through this, we gotta get through together.” 

I raise an eyebrow at the two in curiosity.  _ Slowly I’m putting together how this group got thrown together, but I feel like I’m missing some pretty big chunks. Hunk said that only he, Lance, and Pidge were at the academy, but Lance and Keith seem to know each other well enough to be leaping onto one another’s throats, even despite this crazy situation. Maybe Keith is a cadet, too? Or once was? I wonder why not anymore, people don’t just  _ **_leave_ ** _ the Garrison… not unless they fucked up REAL bad. _

Pidge looks up at Shiro with wide eyes, his nose scrunching to push up his glasses, “So, what do we do?” The more I look at Pidge, the more and more he seems familiar, especially when he shifts his glasses like that, but I can't figure out exactly why. It’s not just him either, it’s that idiosyncrasy with the glasses that tickles something in my memory.

I shudder when I feel the second heartbeat within me, now growing stronger and steadier like something deep in my ribcage is pulling me down to the earth. Err, the ground, I suppose,  _ since this isn’t Earth _ . I close my eyes to hone in on the feeling, _ is it just my anxiety or is this something else? _

It feels... real, like there is an actual second heart in my chest. It’s kind of what I felt within the cave where this lion was housed, but it’s so strong now that that was just an echo in comparison. It hums in my ears, a deep, pleased purr, and it only seems to get stronger and stronger.

I think… I think it might just be the lion from my dreams. It isn't this lion, this lion is blue and I don’t think I am sensing its feelings. Lance seems to be, with his random bouts of communication with it, which reinforces my theory that it’s another lion that haunts my dreams. Maybe one of the five others I saw in the vision of Voltron with the others in the cavern. Probably the white one, considering the lion I dream of has white fur.  _ Yeah, no shit Will, excellent deductive reasoning. You really out here using that high school education- _

“First, we find out where we're headed.” Shiro’s voice brings me back to the present, and I turn to my left to follow his directive. Despite the insanity, he’s got his head on so straight it makes arrows look like spaghetti. I’ve known him - the  _ real  _ him, not the idea of him that I began to learn of at his funeral - for about 30 minutes but I can already feel myself trusting him, and there’s no reason not to; his leadership is practically a tangible aura that clings to his black, militant clothing that’s as crisp as any uniform. Shiro’s expression is pensive and intense as he looks to the pilot, "Lance?" 

Lance seems to shy away from Shiro’s gaze, glancing downward at the cabin floor, “I... don't know. I'm sorry, the lion's not talking to me anymore.” 

The sheepish look immediately morphs into one that’s a wry grin; he looks behind us with a raised eyebrow before he cocks his head to the side, "Wait, wait, wait! I hear something." I knew right away from his shit-eating grin that this isn't the lion. 

“I hear it too." Keith answers with a serious tone and Hunk furrows his eyebrows, "It's kind of like a... high pitched squeal?” 

I smack Lance, which prompts the fart he's ripping to cascade like a wave, filling the cabin with a wickedly awful smell and thunderous groan. I clap a hand over my mouth and nose as the others cough and sputter, sighing in varying levels of annoyance, _ “Lance!”  _

Lance laughs, hard, and after a moment of basking in the aftermath of his wicked chemical attack he points through the window out at the surface of the planet, “Okay, okay but seriously, there's a castle up ahead.” We look up through the eyes of the lion as we descend towards the land, now close enough that we can see the structure.

Even from this distance I can see that it's absolutely massive, enough to fit at least fifty or sixty mechanical lions within, yet it’s about ⅔ the size of the alien battleship we just escaped from. It has five pearly pillars, four in a square around it and one, larger one in the center, the main body of the Castle a massive, wide base that connects each of the thick pillars, like the claws of a dragon’s talon. Neon blue trims highlight the sides of the white, pearly metal, unmarred and shimmering in the sunlight; it kind of seems like the original inspiration for the first few generations of the new age holophones. The castle sits nestled on the edge of a cliff on a completely separate, castle-sized piece of land that’s long split away from the mainland, jutting out over the sea like the hilt of a sword. A long, narrow bridge that’s about a half a mile long connects the massive structure to the mainland, but surprisingly the bridge's structure and architecture don't seem to match the castle's. The castle is... shiny, like it’s made from one, massive pearl, glossy and gleaming, but the bridge, and the surrounding gardens at the castle’s base that grow more and more clear as we approach, remind me of Ancient Greece: white marble, curling in pylons and decorated into the chalky stone that paves the area around the castle, but not metallic, it’s certainly stone. 

Lance brings the mechanical lion closer to the surface, approaching the castle by its front gates at a slow glide. Suddenly, the 4 spires around the main body of the castle suddenly flash a soft blue, once, twice, thrice, and then stop; almost like a greeting. The lion, Lance, whoever is truly piloting, guides us just before the entrance, past the expansive garden full of deep greenery that looks like ferns and shrubs, but I can’t see them too clearly as the lion lands in front of two, oval-shaped doors, made with the same pearly material as the towers.  _ It's not like stone... it’s clearly metal. Maybe like some kind of plastic, but less flexible. Steel? Some type of alien steel, maybe? _

We stand silently for a moment before Shiro finally speaks, his voice is dark and cautionary, “Keep your guard up.”

Pidge turns to look up at Shiro, raising his eyebrow as he releases his steely grip on the left arm of Lance’s seat, “Is something wrong?” 

Shiro straightens, his gaze fixed on the doors of the castle with a guarded expression, “My crew was captured by aliens once. I'm not going to let it happen again.” 

I blink and look back at the castle doorway with a fresh perspective, a sudden, terrifying question popping to mind.  _ Oh. Fuck. Aliens. Aliens fucking exist.  _

_ Shiro was being held captive by aliens. What happened to the rest of the crew? Did they escape, too? _

If I remember correctly, he only had two other people with him, two members of the same family who were both researching the ice on Kerberos to draw a comparison between elemental compounds or some shit. I don’t remember their names, but I know their last names were Holt.  _ Do I actually want to know what happened to them? What happened to Shiro while he was being held captive? That can’t have been a fun experience.  _ I look to my left as the others turn their backs on the front of the cabin and head back down the stairs where we came from, with varying levels of stability from the rocky ride, and hone in on Shiro’s violet prosthetic.  _ I know he didn’t leave Earth with that. Definitely not a fun experience, then, to put it mildly. _

I move to follow, but I hesitate when I realize that Lance was still sitting in the pilot’s chair, staring down at the controls. 

“Something wrong?” I ask, but my voice seemed to break whatever Lance was concentrating on; he rises with a start, like he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to, and shakes his head a little as he shoots me a guarded grin. 

“No, no, just wishing that I could fly like that in a simulator!” Lance answers, and brushes past me to leave and ending any lines for further questions I may have. I frown slightly to myself and flicker my gaze to his back. 

He seemed so easy to read before, but now I realize he must be much more complex than I initially thought.  _ As it usually is.  _ As I spend more time with him, with everyone for that matter, I’m getting better senses for who they are as people. I can see that Lance seems to be like one of those people who make jokes and put up a class-clown facade to mask something. Not necessarily anything bad or nefarious, just like before when he joked when we went through the portal thing, or two minutes ago when he ripped a nasty one in the cabin; it’s probably just to hide how scared he is, at least right now. I don’t blame him, I honestly think I’ve gone into shock because I feel absolutely numb and stunned constantly from all the bullshit that’s happened thus far, I don’t think it’s possible for me to be surprised anymore. But nonetheless, this thing he does is probably a front to throw people off any scent of vulnerability; one of the many new, exciting, modern day versions of toxic masculinity. I can recognize it in others just like I could recognize Taylor’s gay crisis because I’ve done and gone through the same shit. 

I follow him after a moment, patting him on the back as we reach the doorway leading down the stairs, “Hang what that guy… what’s his name... Keith? Yeah, hang what Keith says. Considering it's literally alien tech, I think you flew great.”

“Thank you!” Lance cries, like he's been waiting for someone to say that. We go down the stairs and into the lion's mouth where the ramp has already been laid out; we descend to the earth… or, rather, ground, I guess. 

No sooner did Lance and I step off does the lion suddenly move back to an upright position. We all flounder to get out of the way as it shifts, Hunk shrieks in terror, _ “Oh god, I knew it was gonna eat us!”  _

The lion straightens, opening its mighty maw and roaring loud enough to shake the dust off the castle’s exterior walls. With loud creaking, the castle doors suddenly burst open with the hiss of rushing air, revealing a dark hall within that the exterior sunlight doesn’t penetrate. 

We glance at one another, wondering not for the last time at  _ what the fuck was going on. _

I’ve stop trying to sort it out. Frankly, since everything went batshit crazy when I decided to head into the desert, anything that happens after that is just the new reality now. _  Fucking hell. _

“Oh, the door is open!” Hunk looks up sheepishly from where he'd jumped to hide behind Shiro, looking up apologetically at the lion that’s returned to a stilled, upright position, “Guess I was wrong about you!” 

I pat Hunk comfortingly on the back as I pass him to enter the dark, cavernous hall with the others.

It actually seems similar to the castle’s exterior with the same shiny, pearly exterior material in the walls, the floors, and the high, domed ceiling, which is at least as big as a chapel steeple. There are these curved pillars that line the side of the long hall like banners, holding up a balcony two stories above us that runs alongside the entryway. On each pillar are conch shaped lights, which appear to be off as the only light that illuminates the hallway is the sunshine from the outside that’s cast on our backs and into the dusty hall. Intermixed with the pearl walls are the same bright, sky blue accents as the outside of the castle, breaking up the stretches of solid white. Since I'd never been there, if someone showed me a picture of this hall, I'd guess it was Apple's headquarters after its infrastructure collapsed in the 2070’s. The place is covered in dust, rising with each step we tread into the hall; no one had been here in years, at least. 

“Hello!” Hunk calls out, his voice breaking the silence and echoing off the walls and jarring my teeth from the cry. We all turn to look at him with mixed looks of surprise. He looks back at us sheepishly, shrugging as Pidge pipes up, but in a softer register. "With the size of that lion, I expected these steps to be bigger." 

I follow his gaze as we approach the end of the hall, where the stretch ends and meets a wide set of completely normal sized stairs. Well, normal for us, but the castle itself… this hall, the doorway that could easily fit the mechanical lion if it chose to walk in, it seems to be a house for giants. The wide set of stairs break about halfway up and split off to the left and to the right, leading to the balconies above. Beyond the split stairwell is a hallway that no doubt leads to the rest of the castle.

I look down below my feet, my footprints have been left in the dust like we’re walking through fresh fallen snow, but beneath them I can vaguely see the outline of what looks like a carved circle about as wide around as the blue lion. I wipe my feet on the floor to try and make out what it is when suddenly a metal mechanic click sounds over our heads. I tense and look up at the ceiling and see a crystal spire, almost like a chandelier hanging over our heads, one I did not notice before. With a flash it lights up the area in a soft, sapphire blue, casting a particularly bright, circular light onto where we gathered, right on the circle that I was investigating. A feminine, robotic voice echoes in the grand, dusty hall, “Please hold for identity scan.”

On queue, blue circles, ones that reminded me of the outsides of the wormhole, snap over our heads and surround each of us. It makes a humming noise as it circles around me, like a scanner scanning a barcode… but three dimensionally, I suppose. It feels like there's an electrical charge just a centimeter from my body, and it makes every hair stand up as it circles my head and moves to my shoulders and further down. I try to keep my breathing level just in case my freaking out causes it to zap me into oblivion.  _ Oh Jesus, it might zap us anyway, we just walked into some random castle on some random planet because an alien robocat led us here- _

“Who are you?” Shiro calls, twisting about as the circles scan us, and when he’s met with no answer he continues questioning, “Why are we here? What do you want with us?” Shiro’s shouts into the empty hall go unanswered as the circles scan us, and I try my best not to move. It said don’t move, and who knows, it might just blast me to kingdom come, or back to Earth, or something equally bad if I did.  _ Honestly, anything could happen at this point, but I’d really like not getting wounded in the process. Fuck what have I gotten myself into?  _

As suddenly as it had begun, the scan is over, the circles vanishing with a snap like their power was turned off. Above us, the illuminated chandelier’s lights launch out beyond us, flowing through the white walls and into conch lights embedded in them. The soft blue sconces light up the entire hall all the way down to the entrance, practically lighting the walls themselves in bright, pale blue, almost white light. I peer down the hall as the lights flicker on, all the way down to the open doorway where the blue lion stands silently, watching. 

My eyes return forward to the hall that continues up the stairs and see that it’s being similarly lit up, the lights flickering one after another like dominoes along the hall with soft clicks of tiny light-switches being flipped. It continues to the end of the hall where it splits to the left and the right, and from there the lights continue turning on to the left but curiously not the right, even though there is a hallway there. I notice the lights don't flicker on in the upstairs part of the balcony either.

“I guess we're going that way.” Pidge mutters, pointing up the stairs to the lit hall that leads left. He climbs up the stairs to follow the light, his glasses glinting with the neon blue lights that completely illuminate the space and cast us in a shroud of uncertainty and anxiety. As soon as I started walking forward gain I feel something vibrating beneath my feet, but it’s not like the lion's heartbeat that I'd been feeling up until that point, that came from within my chest. It seems like this one is coming from the floor… like the very castle itself is alive.

I follow along after Pidge with furrowed eyebrows, murmuring softly once we’ve reached the top, "Does anyone else feel that... pulse? Like a heartbeat, in the floor?" 

"Dude, I know that this is all crazy, but that is especially crazy." Lance pipes up behind me.

I turn to shoot him a glare. ”About as crazy as you talking to that lion” I snap back, pointing back at the doorway to the blue, mechanical lion. This seems to shut him up rather quickly as he turns his head away and shoves his hands into his pockets with a downcast look. Trying to mask my smug satisfaction I turn to continue down the lit path.

We continue in silence for several minutes, the lights flickering on in certain hallways, but not others, as if the lights were guiding us through the halls of the castle. Only briefly do I consider whether or not this is a good thing.  _ Where could it be leading us? Maybe to answers… or maybe not. Fuck if I know. It’s not like we had any other choice. We could diverge and go another path but who knows what’ll happen, where they lead? I, frankly, want answers, and right now that means following this path _ . Thankfully, the route to answers seem to be much easier than I initially thought it would be, since the lights are literally guiding the way. Occasionally Hunk would call out a greeting, his voice shattering the silence briefly before we’re muffled by it once more, our footsteps are deafening against the hard floor. Nothing ever answered. The longer we walked, the more I began to feel that pulse beneath my feet and the louder it became, like steady war drums beating from within the earth… ground. 

Finally, we end up in a dead-end, circular room. As the lights flicker on within, I see that there are purposeful seams in the floor, smaller circles within a large circle kind of like a painter's palette. The room has similar pillars like the ones in the entry hall surrounding the room with more seams in the walls with varying outlined shapes like large buttons to be pushed. In the center of the round room, the middle of the painter’s palette, is something like a pedestal. It’s just at hip-height, made the same white, metal material that everything in the castle is made of, but no other distinctive markings on it.

“Where are we?” Hunk mumbles softly as we enter the space, turning in circles as we gaze at this alien wonder. I look down at the smaller circles in the floor, and as soon as I do I feel the pulse within the floor louder than ever before, like thunder vibrating up through my feet and into my skull, a maraca that’s goal is to shake the sound around and disorient me as much as possible. 

_Oh god, what if I_ ** _am_** _crazy? First this fucking heartbeat thing, but also none of the others have had the dreams. It’s just me. Even though it’s all been one big coincidence this can't be normal. Why is the heartbeat so loud in here, why am I the only one that can feel it? Why do I have to be the odd one out here, this is a goddamn crazy situation already, why is it so fucking_ ** _loud_** _, why am I-_  I jolt when a hand grabs my elbow. I snap my gaze up at Keith as he grasps my arm, the leather of his fingerless gloves is cool against my skin. _I didn’t_ _accidentally step on his foot again, did I?_ His gaze is unreadable, completely and surprisingly even and placid when all he says is, “You're shaking.” 

I look back down to the floor, gritting my jaw in frustration when I can’t help how my voice trembles, “Can't you feel it? It's like a... an earthquake in here, it's so loud.” I focus on the floor, trying to bring my trembling under control and instead focus on the pulse. I don’t think I would have noticed I was shaking had Keith not pointed it out, and that kind of terrifies me that I’m losing such control of myself that an utter stranger is noticing I’m off. 

I settle my breathing, and only when the trembling ceases Keith releases my arm. I feel my gaze following him as he turns away to inspect the rest of the room.  _ I guess I shouldn't write him off as a broody loner so quickly. Maybe I’m not being obvious, maybe he’s just empathetic. Empathetic and observant. Like with Lance, everyone here is beyond my initial perception of them. As it is with most people. _

“I don’t feel anything.” Lance proffers with a frown over in my direction.

“This looks like some sort of control room.” Pidge states and I turn to see him examining the pedestal in the center. Upon looking closer, now I can see that there’s some neon blue symbol lit up in the center, making the pedestal seem more like a flat computer screen. Pidge raises an eyebrow and touches it out of curiosity. 

All of a sudden two of the smaller circles in the floor rise, releasing a hiss of trapped air as the symbol vanishes. Pidge takes a step back with his arms up in an  _ I-didn’t-do-it  _ manner as we retreat away from the rising circles. Beneath the circles is some sort of pod, people-shaped pea pods, like coffins save that they’re rounded instead of boxy. As the two circles rise to reveal the pods, a soft light radiates from within, casting a shadow through the slightly opaque surface, the shadow of a humanoid shape.  

_ There are people inside of the pods. Oh God, Aliens. Real aliens. I’m about to see real aliens.   _

Hunk's voice comes from behind the console, cowering behind Shiro who stands resolutely in front of the pods, “Is that guy... dead?”

The pods stall once they’ve fully risen from the ground and as if on queue, air rushes out of the pods. The front door of one of the pods give away with a blast of misted air to reveal the person within, and I almost have a stroke. 

She’s an elf.

Or, at least, she looks like an elf. She has these strange, soft pink markings beneath her eyes, not quite tattoos, but rather more like what I'd expect bio-luminescent tags to look like. She resembled a human in almost all manners save for her ears, which are pointed on the ends and jut outward just as I'd expect elves' ears to. Her skin is a dark chestnut, about the same shade as Lance’s, but her hair is completely white, long and flowing down to her waist yet she doesn’t appear to be old; in fact she looks incredibly young, somewhere between my age and Pidge’s, or what I’d expect Pidge’s to be. As I inspect her closer I see that she has a small, simple crown nestled on her temple with a single blue gem in the center. She has an elegant white, blue, and purple dress that flares out at her wrists and her waist, and I find myself swallowing down a mixture of fear and excitement.  _ She looks like an elven queen.  _

_ This Sci-Fi mystery is slowly morphing into something like a Fantasy combination and I’m much more here for that. Elves I understand, fantasy I understand. Except this elf is also an alien. Holy FUCK I can’t wait to tell my dad about this.  _

We all jolt in shock as her eyes fly open, and with a loud breath she gasps, “Father!” 

She reaches out a hand towards us and without warning she falls forward, her eyes closing as if she were about to fall unconscious again. She would’ve face-planted had Lance not swooped in and caught her just before she fell, keeping them both upright surprisingly easily. I step forward in bewilderment as she opens her eyes again, staring out without recognition before they finally fix onto Lance. They’re strange, her eyes; brilliantly blue like sapphires but unnaturally so, they’re almost too bright and clear to be real, and instead of black her pupils are a light lilac that make her eyes appear almost glazed over like ceramic clay.

Lance clears his throat, and I notice the blush creeping up his neck as he breaks into a charming smile, “Hello.” He purrs.

_ Ah, fuck. He’s one of  _ **_those_ ** _ straights.  _

“Where am I?” The elf murmurs, her voice rings like a bell, clear and resonant with an accent I’ve never heard before on Earth. I can see immediately that she has some sort of natural-born authority, it’s written all over her voice; despite the breathlessness like she just ran a marathon and the slump as she leans heavily on Lance, her voice carries such direction that I feel almost compelled to answer her. Her strange eyes gaze around at each of us in turn as she gathers her whereabouts, before she settles her gaze back on Lance with growing confusion. 

“I'm Lance.” Lance’s lips draw back into a charming smirk, “And you're right here in my arms.” 

I slowly place my palm over my face, and wonder if the lion outside would eat me if I asked. 

“Your  _ ears. _ ” The elf whispers, almost in disgust as she narrows her eyes at Lance. 

He blinks in surprise, probably caught off guard as he looks side to side, as if checking if they're still there, “Yeah?”

The elf curls her nose, “They're hideous.” She pulls herself away from Lance's grasp and stands firmly on her own, looking at him with narrowed eyes, “What's wrong with them?” 

“Nothing is wrong with them!” Lance cries indignantly, “And they heard exactly what you said about  _ thEM-- _ ” Lance yelps in shock as the elf snatches his earlobe and swings him around, pinning one of his arms behind his back and forcing him to his knees, where he cries out in a mix of surprise and fear. 

We don’t even have time to react as the elf interrogates Lance with a rapid tongue, “Who are you? What are you doing here? Where is King Alfor? Why are you in my castle?” The elf’s gaze is now determined and fierce as she glares at Lance, who is twitching in a most unpleasant-looking way. I hesitate to step forward to stop her, she looks totally willing and capable of breaking his arm and I don’t want to cause that by getting in the way or pissing her off. 

Instead, I try to go about it with some charisma. I regard her with a gentle gaze and hold out my hands in a calming manner as I speak, “Okay, let’s all just calm do-”

“I-I don't know! A giant blue lion brought us here, that's all we know!” Lance cries out, voice strained with the pressure on his arm and effectively cutting me off. The elf’s eyes narrow at me and then fix on Lance, and after a moment she releases him, much to his relief as he slumps face first on the ground with a manly whimper. She turns to look at us each individually, her eyes morphing away from fear as her confusion grows.

“How do  _ you  _ have the Blue Lion? What happened to its Paladin?” She commands, her gaze snapping back to Lance as flops to the floor, clutching his arm. She turns her fierce gaze to us, “What are you  _ doing  _ here?” 

Before we can even begin to formulate a response the elf blinks, I think as a new thought crosses her mind, “Unless..” She stares at the floor before she quickly meets our dreadfully confused eyes, “How long has it been?”

Shiro, luckily, has the sense to speak while Hunk continues to cower behind him, “We have no idea what you're talking about. Why don't you tell us who you are? Maybe we can help?” 

The elf watches him with a confused expression, but she squares her shoulders into a powerful stance that I could see her station before she spoke, “I am Princess Allura of Planet Altea.” 

We blink stupidly.  _ Is that where we are right now? Is this place called Altea?  _ I think that she realizes that her words mean nothing to us, so instead she strides forward with such purpose that we quickly move to get out of the way. She pauses at the pedestal that Pidge touched that opened her pod in the first place, and as she presses her hands to its surface a panel arises; it looks kind of like a solar panel with the dark glossy appearance of something technologically complicated within. With a tap, the panel illuminates and a hologram rises, one like a keyboard beneath her fingertips and another straight up and down, like a computer screen. Flashing symbols unlike any I’ve seen flicker on this screen as the elf begins to type, soon afterward she barks, “I need to find out where we are, and how long we've been asleep!” 

_ We? _

Pidge stares at the screen in awe from behind the pedestal, his glasses reflecting the hologram, “Okay, so, that's how  _ that  _ works.” 

Lance groans from where Allura had left him, righting himself and rubbing his shoulder with a pained expression. I can't help the smirk that rises from my expression at how  _ hilarious  _ a sight that is before my gaze slides to the second pod that arose with Allura’s.  _ We.  _

The second pod, apparently having waited until this moment to do so, bursts open with a hiss of air, revealing within another elf. He appears to be an elven man just like Allura, with silver hair that waves in dense curls cut close to his skull with a curl just before his face kind of like mine does. And, just like Allura, he has these small markings like crescent moons under his eyes, save that his are baby blue instead of pink. He's lanky, clothed in a dark blue uniform with silver trimmings and white gloves that reach his elbows and matching boots that reach his knees, but the craziest thing about him is the most preposterously large, bright white mustache that I've ever seen. He appears older, he has lines on his forehead and his eyes are sunk deep, he appears to be my father’s age but I have no point of estimating an alien’s lifespan. 

His eyes snap open just as Princess Allura’s had, except his are a silver-blue color, yet with the same lilac pupils. He takes in a sudden breath and gasps in shock when he catches sight of the closest thing to him, which happens to be Lance,  _ “Ah! Enemy combatants!”  _

He leaps forward like a grasshopper to kick Lance with a mighty,  _ “Huwah!" _  but Lance easily sidesteps the elf with a look that’s more incredulous than anything else, resulting in the man sailing past him with his gangly leg extended. He crumbles to the floor from the failed attack, but before he collapses fully he rights himself so fast I almost didn't see him fall, yet his stance is the opposite of stable. He clings to the Princess's pod like it’s a lifeline as his legs wobble uncontrollably.

“Ah, quiznak!” He swears, or at least, I think he swears, quiznak kind of sounds like a swear word, “You're lucky I have a case of the old sleep-chamber knees! Otherwise I'd wrap you up like this,” He wraps his arm around an imaginary opponent, “Grab you like so,” He feigns a headlock as he counts, “And one, two three..!” He then whirls his fingers with a dramatic snap,  _ “Sleepy time!”  _

Lance immediately responds indignantly, “Well, before that, I'd…” He then feigns a series of martial arts kicks and moves, making soft sound effects before then crossing his arms with a self-confident grin. 

_ He is absolutely nothing like the pilots I know at the Garrison.  _

The elf man, however, is having none of it, scoffing indignantly, “Oh really?! How could you when I would've already done this: HA-HA-HA-HA!” He jabs into the open air with each ‘HA,’ I glance over to the others in the group, wondering if this is just a really elaborate vision I'm having. Unfortunately, based on their expressions, it’s very real.  _ So Lance has found his kindred spirit out here on an alien planet with an alien elf man with a huge, ridiculous mustache. _

Hunk’s attention is fixed on Allura's fingertips, which fly across the hologram with practice, “Man, these guys are good, this tech is-” 

Allura suddenly freezes, her gaze locked on whatever the words say on the holographic screen as she whispers, “It can't be!” 

The elf man pauses in his one up, enlightening conversation with Lance to look over at Allura, “What is it, Princess?” 

_ Okay, they know each other, as expected. He appears older, maybe he’s her father, that King Alfor she mentioned earlier... _

Allura's expression is horrified, and after a solid ten seconds she spits out the words slowly, her hands frozen over the holographic keys, “We've been asleep for  _ a thousand years. _ ” She stares straight ahead at the screen she continues, feeling out the rest of the words as if they would fall short if she said it any other way, “Planet Altea, and all the other planets in our solar system have… they have been _ destroyed. _ ” 

A cold, deathly silence fills the room as Allura’s voice cracks and chokes on the words. She covers a hand over her mouth, staring at the hologram with the light blue letters I don’t understand in utter shock and horror that I haven’t the faintest clue what to even say. 

_ What… what? I can't even imagine... If I woke up after a thousand years, a  _ **_thousand_ ** _ years, to find Earth completely destroyed... Hell, everything in the solar system destroyed? That's just an unreal level of destruction, I can’t even begin to fathom...  _ I shiver, but now I have a sudden urge to give Allura a hug, even though I literally just met her, and she’s an alien princess from another planet and another solar system that apparently isn’t this one that has been  _ destroyed _ -

“Then… my father is dead. Our entire civilization is…” Allura stops, her voice cracking again before her gaze suddenly hardens. Her features darken so suddenly that I feel a chill run up my spine as she grits her teeth with utter fury, spitting out with utter contempt,  _ “Zarkon.”  _

Shiro let out a short breath at the name, his eyes widening and I glance over at him in worry as he repeats, “Zarkon?” 

Allura rests her hands on the pedestal, podium, console thing with white knuckles, her jaw grit with an unimaginable, sapphire fire burning in her eyes as she snarls, “He was once the Emperor of the Galra: a vile creature, and enemy to all free people! He was the only one who would have done this!” 

Shiro's gaze falls, and he closes his eyes as he speaks, “I remember now.” He opens his eyes once more and meets Allura's with a similar, hard look, “I was his prisoner.” 

Allura's eyes widen, “What? He’s… He's still alive? That’s impossible!” 

“I can't explain it, but it's true.” Shiro continues, his expression determined as his eyes flicker from the holographic panel to Allura’s gaze, “He's looking for a super weapon called Voltron.”

The princess's hand lower from the console to her sides. Her gaze is hard enough to cut diamonds, “He's searching for it because he knows that it's the only thing that could…  _ can _ defeat him.” She takes a step towards Shiro suddenly, her voice compelling, “And that's exactly why we must find it before he does!”  _ Well, we’ve officially become not enemies now if she’s saying “we,” so that’s a relief. _

“How?” Pidge suddenly cuts in, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as his hands grip both straps on his backpack. 

Allura whirls back around the console and begins tapping away at different, meaningless symbols, “I first have to update the Castle's system, but I…” Allura's gaze falls from the keys before she slowly turns back to us, and when her strange eyes settle on me emotion wells in my throat, “I know that we are complete strangers, but... I need your help.”

“Um, no offense, Princess, but uh…” Hunk pauses sheepishly when Allura’s gaze fixes on him, but he continues with a slightly quieter voice, “Why are you trusting us? Not like I’m saying you shouldn’t I think we’re pretty trustworthy-”

Allura cuts him off as her gaze flickers to the side at the holographic screen, “I know that I can trust you because of the circumstances that brought you here.” She pauses, as if reconsidering her words before she speaks in a surprisingly even tone, “The Blue Lion must have brought you here for a reason. I trust its judgement.” 

Without another word Allura turns and focuses on the screen, or perhaps on her thoughts, as her eyes are distant.

The elven man turned to us, sheepishly bowing his head, “Well, we shall have to remedy this complete strangers thing, shouldn’t we? My name is Coran, chief technician of the Castle of Lions, and Advisor to…” Coran stalls, his eyebrows furrowing as his momentarily proud stature falters, “The... former King Alfor, it seems.” Coran's peppy voice immediately dies off, his silver eyes wide and glassy. 

_ Christ. Their pain must be exponential… but they’re already getting down and moving on to the next task at hand without even a pause. What sort of life have they led that allows them to shoulder on in such a way that they’re able to work even despite this unbelievable…  _

_ Maybe it’s just so beyond comprehension that it feels distant. I can’t even begin to fathom what it would be like for Earth to be destroyed. Or maybe this is something they would expect from Zarkon… and that is a terrifying thought, since apparently now we’re trying to get a super weapon out of his grasp. A super weapon that’s apparently six lions that make a megaman. This is seriously some science fiction bullshit, isn’t it? _

Shiro gives Coran a gentle look before he gestures to each of us with a hand, “Well, I’m Shiro, and this is Pidge, Hunk, Keith, Will, and Lance.” He points to each of us in turn to the elven party present, and I wave a little when I’m called upon. Allura looks up to each of us as we’re named, nodding a little as if to affix our names in her memory before she nods in greeting, “It’s… a pleasure. I hope that you can forgive my manners.” Her gaze returns to the holographic screen as her voice abruptly stops working, instead of trying to continue her mouth seems to clam shut with a stubborn set in her jaw. 

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it.” I say without thinking. The princess’s eyes rising to meet mine with a surprised look as I give her a look with as much empathy as I can muster, “You literally just woke up from a really, really long coma. I think you can get a pass on formalities.” 

The ghost of what could be a smile twitches at the corner of the elf’s mouth as Coran, the gangly, eccentric elf’s head snaps up as if he was just deeply daydreaming, “It’s a pleasure, strange creatures!” He approaches Hunk, who was peering over Allura’s shoulder as she types on the holographic panel with a mystified expression but now instead looks at Coran with wide eyes as he leans forward and gets right up in Hunk’s face with an inquisitive raise of his brow, “What quadrant do you hail from? I’ve never quite seen creatures such as you with such… interesting ears!” Coran touches Hunk’s ear, who makes a scared, squeaking noise and shifts around to move behind Allura slightly to avoid Coran’s inquisitive gaze. 

“We’re from Earth, in the Milky Way.” Shiro answers in a polite manner, regarding Coran with his arms crossed comfortably over his chest. 

“Never heard of it.” Coran answers with a note of disinterest before his hand touches his chest, rested over his heart, “Oh, am I starving! I must get the Princess and I some food! I sure hope the nutrition defibulators haven’t decayed!" Without another word, Coran whirls away, dashing out of the room like a cat chasing a mouse. 

_ Wow. He’s certainly… funky. _

I turn my gaze back to Allura, whose gaze is hard as iron as she type on the holographic keyboard. 

_ She just discovered her entire race, her entire fucking  _ **_planet_ ** _ and  _ **_solar system_ ** _ got wiped out. I have to say something, anything… She shouldn’t have to be forced to deal with this alone in front of a group of utter strangers, but she is. The least I can do is try and reduce the ‘being a stranger’ part. _

"I can't even imagine how terrible this must be for you." I say, finding it difficult to find the words as I pause beside the podium where the princess works. Allura's strange eyes break from the hologram to meet mine, and although her stance is powerful and her chin is raised, I realize that I’m actually taller than her, if only by an inch or two. This actually gives me pause; she seems so… larger than life when I’m standing at a distance, that is until I’m standing right next to her like this. I didn’t even notice that she’s… kinda short. It humanizes her in a way; she isn’t an alien princess, she’s… just a person. A person who’s suffering unimaginable loss.

I focus back on the present and fix her with a well meaning, tender gaze, “These words are nothing to even begin to ease what you’re going through but still I… I'm so sorry. We all are.” I glance out of my peripheral at the others and see they’re enthusiastically nodding, much to my relief. 

Allura stares at me with wide, gemmed eyes before she murmurs in a hesitant voice, “... Thank you.” She answers with a soft voice, pausing her typing at the holographic monitor. She tilts her head to the side, pensive for a moment before her eyes widen, “Your planet, Earth, you called it? What had you called your solar system?” 

“We call it the Milky Way.” Pidge answers helpfully from his place on the other side of Allura. He’s just above Allura’s shoulders, he’s so  _ tiny.  _ “I don’t know what you would know it as...” 

Allura raises an eyebrow at Pidge beside her, flickering her gaze over to me and then to Pidge, almost like she’s comparing us before she answers, “Have your people ever travelled beyond your solar system?” 

“No. We’re actually not even entirely sure how we got here.” Shiro answers, his expression is surprisingly open and matched with his honest tone, “The Blue Lion-” 

“It was insane!” Lance leaps into the conversation where he stood by the pods, his arms waving to the sides, “There was this big purple ship, and the Blue Lion was all like,  _ ‘we gotta get them away from Earth’  _ and did all this cool attack stuff, which of course I helped with, being a natural born pilot-”

Allura fixes her gaze on Lance, her eyes suddenly sparking with life, “It must have bonded with you, if it’s able to speak to you in such a way.” Her expression dawns with something I hadn’t seen before, dare I say it looks like hope. 

Lance blinks owlishly for a moment before he nods with a charismatic shrug of his shoulders, “I mean, I don’t blame it, I’m the sort of guy that’s hard to resist.” He flashes a charming grin at Allura with his thumb and forefinger rested under his chin. Allura turns her gaze away from him without a change in expression and taps her fingertip thoughtfully on the metal panel beneath the hologram. A long loading bar pops up in the center and begin to fill when she speaks next, “Then the Blue Lion must have already been on your planet then. And it drew you to it, didn’t it?” Lance’s eyes are starry like glitter thrown in a pool as he nods.  _ I mean, I can’t say I don’t blame him. I don’t swing that way, but Allura is very beautiful. Or maybe I’m just partial, because  _ **_elves!_ ** “I wonder…  _ The Milky Way… _ ” Allura continues in a pensive tone as she pulls up another hologram next to the loading screen and starts typing away furiously on the alien symbols, her expression focused yet simultaneously far away. 

I step back as Hunk and Pidge press forward and encompass her, politely back and forth asking her questions about the technology she’s using, or at least that’s what I gathered from the snippets of their conversation because immediately I tune it out as I’m overwhelmed with the sheer vocabulary they use,  _ what the fuck does radial bearing even mean? _

I take a step back to recollect my thoughts, and that’s when my gaze finds Shiro, who watches them with his arms crossed. His expression’s calm yet disquieted, I can almost feel the unanswered questions boiling and frothing and spilling over into his features from where I stand beside him.

“You know that guy she mentioned? Zarkon?” I ask in a soft tone, not wanting to broadcast our conversation to everyone in the room, but fortunately Pidge, Hunk, and Allura drown us out relatively well. Behind them I see Keith and Lance speaking, no,  _ antagonizing  _ one another on the other side of the room; from what I can glean, it seems Lance’s attention needed to be redirected after Allura’s complete oblivion to his flirtatious nonsense, and frankly I kind of feel bad for Keith.  _ But, I don’t really know their story. Maybe Lance has a legit reason to be pissed at Keith? I don’t know, I can’t see anything about him that seems particularly unlikable… but he’s also a perfect stranger. _

Shiro nods, his eyebrows knit together with an expression that I can best describe as worry mixed with frustration, “I don't remember a lot of my time… there. It comes in flashes when something triggers it, like when Allura mentioned his name just now.” Shiro explains, meeting my gaze with a surprisingly vulnerable expression as his arms cross tighter across his chest, “All I remembered was being in that escape pod to find Voltron before the Galra could.” 

I nod in understanding a Shiro's eyes slide back to watching Hunk and Pidge like a parent watching his kids play at the park, yet with an expression far less fond; more like he’s watching to ensure they don’t get kidnapped. He looks up after a moment, looking me directly in the eye as he speaks softly, “Well, at least I can take all that’s been going on a bit in stride. You've been through a solid ordeal today but you're taking it well. You've got a good head on your shoulders.” 

_ He must be feeling embarrassed to be unpacking with me. I’m actually surprised he did, I literally just met him an hour ago, maybe? Probably longer, it’s probably been two by now, but still. Trauma bonding is a miracle worker like that, I suppose. _

I laugh softly, offering an appreciative smile to Shiro while I shrug, “Honestly, I’ve kind of stopped thinking about it. No use going crazy over it.’ I pause, biting my lip a little as I alter my words, “Well… going any crazier than I already am feeling, I guess.” 

Shiro watches me with an analytic gaze for a moment with an eyebrow raised before he quickly changes the subject, “So, your parents were the Lancasters, you said? And they work at the Garrison?” 

I snort, looking at my shoes with sudden interest.  _ They sure are hella dusty,  _ “Yeah. I don’t think you knew them, they only signed aboard after your mission went up.”

Shiro laughs quietly, his shoulders shaking as he crosses his arms in a relaxed manner, “I knew them pretty well, actually. They were lead advisors to the Kerberos Mission, and they were in the inner circle on the decision making process.” I blink at him in shock as Shiro continues with a surprisingly eased tone, “They're incredibly talented in their respective fields.” I get the inkling he feels more relaxed now that we aren't discussing his feelings. 

“They mentioned you, a few times actually,” I blink and hang onto Shiro’s words as he tilts his head at me, “Last thing they said was uh… I believe you had gotten into some prestigious program for engineers, or something. MIT?” 

I immediately shake my head, breaking into a loud laugh, “Oh, _ God _ , no, I'm not at all into STEM. They've always wanted me to be, so I could go to the Garrison, but… I don't think that's my calling.” I feel my smile fall a little, thinking about my parents… thinking about how disappointing I've been. In the past few weeks with my dreams getting worse and worse, and  _ this  _ week, getting sent to the Principal's office not once, but  _ twice....  _ Damn near every conversation we’ve had has been to express their worry over my mental health, and even beyond that they’ve never approved of my focus in life. Because I mean, yeah sure I'm creative, I play music and I write stories, but why does that matter when you’re living in the most advancing era of technological history, especially when it comes to space?  _ It makes sense they’d make up that I got into MIT or whatever; they have to brag about something. _

Shiro's gaze softens, “I'm sure they're proud of you nonetheless.” 

I manage a smile but don’t otherwise respond. After a brief moment of hearing Pidge ask about wye fitting, Shiro presses onward, “So… if I may ask, you mentioned before that you went to my uh… funeral?” 

_ Ah, there it is. He must’ve been building up to that. _

I nod, biting my lip as I recall the event, “Yeah. It was... you know, a sweet service. We had one for everyone on the Kerberos mission.” 

Shiro raised an eyebrow, “You went to Matt and Sam Holts’, too?” 

_ Ah yeah, that was their names. _

I nod again, fiddling with my flannel tied around my waist, "I went to all of them. My parents... they were pretty broken up over it, especially yours. I wanted to support them, that’s why I went at all. Not that I didn’t care about you or anything,” I add on quickly, “I just didn’t know you, you know?” I meet Shiro's gaze after a moment to gauge his reaction, sheepishly worming my fingers into the thick fabric of my flannel. He's on edge, his gaze flickering across my features with his tongue between his teeth but hidden behind his lips. I can see he wants to ask me something specific, but he doesn't want to ask directly, he's dancing around it. 

“What do you want to know about yours?” I tilt my head at him with a soft tone, urging him to just  _ ask.  _

“Do you…” Shiro's eyebrows furrow in thought as he backtracks his thoughts, and after rewording his original question as he mutters, “Was there... Adam, was there an Adam there?”

I touch my chin in thought, searching my memory, “Adam?” 

I remember a man who spoke last at Shiro’s funeral. It was actually his words that really moved me the most, and I’m pretty sure his name was Adam, or something like it. He spoke about Shiro's determination and fire, how he was always willing to do whatever it took to do what was necessary. He had brown hair, glasses, and a calculating look, yet his eyes were distant, red from crying, and his voice was raw. He was a natural born speaker.

My heart ached at the memory as I mutter, “Yeah, I remember Adam.” I pause, my voice catching in my throat. 

I remember, clear as day, his last words before he sat down in the front pew,  _ ‘I told him not to go on the mission, I even threatened to leave him, can you believe that? Words cannot express how much I regret that my parting words to the love of my life weren't words worthy of the man who held my heart.’  _ I heard from other conversations around me in the reception afterwards that no one had ever seen the man, Adam, get emotional like that before, and how sad it must be for him. I remember because it made me ache to have someone love me like this Adam loved the unknown Shiro, it was the ultimate tragic love story.

_ Oh.  _

“You do?” Shiro's eyes widen immediately as it clicks. I raise my eyes to meet Shiro’s.  _ Okay. Choose your words very carefully here, Will. Fuck, how do I phrase this? What do I even say? _

“He… Yeah, I remember him.” I murmur softly at first, meeting Shiro’s gaze which grows more and more guarded by the second, “He was…” I struggle to find the words, looking into Shiro's eyes; it looks like he’s hanging onto my every word even though his expression is utterly placid.  _ No, I can't tell him how broken up Adam was. That would do nothing but hurt him.  _

_ Then what do I say? _

“I had never met him before that day, but it was obvious to me that he loved you. A lot.” I answer in a soft tone, biting my lip as I continue, “If I remember correctly, he said you were the love of his life.” 

Shiro's gaze grows very distant as he looks anywhere but at me, and I can see his throat tightening as emotion strangles him, but before he say anything I reach out to him and clasp his shoulder comfortingly, “Don't get caught up in what could have been. He's still there, back on Earth; you'll be able to see him again.”

Shiro seems to get a hold of himself after a moment, taking a shallow breath and closing his stormy gray eyes. Breaking the din of the room comes Lance complaining so loud that it echoes, “Oh, come on, guys, please, quick crowding the  _ princess- _ ” 

I don’t even turn and look.  _ I don’t wanna know.  _ Shiro rests his hand on mine where it sits on his shoulder, snapping my gaze back to his; it’s surprisingly warm and amicable. “Thank you. For telling me... it means more than words can say.” Shiro meets my gaze evenly before letting out a soft breath. “You make a great addition to the team.”

I try not to laugh, but I can't stop the incredulous smile, “Shiro, not to look a gift horse in the mouth but I’ve never been to the Garrison before. I've had no training, in any of this, which I know is crazy considering it’s my parents’ lives, but I'm hardly a 'team member.’ Or, if I am, I'm not exactly a good one. Appreciate the thought, though.” 

Shiro swiftly shakes his head with a slight shrug, withdrawing his hand to cross his arms again, a posture that I think is his point of comfort, “There’s more to being an astronaut than what they teach at the Garrison.”

He pauses, and he almost seems like he wants to say more but before he can speak again Coran bursts into the room. The knee-problem or whatever was going on with him has apparently worn off as he prances inside like a strutting peacock. Behind him, much to my shock, comes a levitating, solid white platter, with a large bowl of... green goo? Yeah, that’s  _ goo _ , like wasabi meets jello, hovering behind him like a faithful puppy. 

_ Um…  _

"Good news! Our food generators are still in pristine condition! Please, have some!" He gestures to the goo with a winning smile like a parent showing off their prodigal child that appears at best mediocre. I stare at it and try to swallow down the lurch my stomach felt just looking at it.  _ No fucking thanks to green… whatever the fuck that is.  _

"I'm... not hungry, but thanks." Shiro replies, shifting his gaze away uncomfortably as I nod in agreement, trying to smile respectfully but it comes out rather forced. Coran merely shrugs, approaching the princess.

“Princess, please, you must eat! It's been a thousand years!” Coran speaks encouragingly, and although his tone is meant to be joking it sounds incredibly forced from where he’s standing beside Allura, picking up the bowl goo from the hovering platter and holding it out to her like a present.

“I'm not hungry.” Allura answers in a dull tone, her gaze intensely focused on the hologram and whatever the stream of symbols across its surface mean. _  I'm sure she has a lot to catch up on. _

‘So, a thousand years? That's like, a hundred plus ten!” Lance pipes up with his arms crossed, his expression puckered as the basic math perplexes him. 

I’m about to make a snide remark but Keith beats me to it. “That's  _ times _ ten.” He smirks a slight amount, just enough to reveal a canine as he raises a teasing eyebrow over at Lance.

Lance shoots him a glare, a pout, and half sneer all at once, drawing out on his lips as his arms cross closer to his body, “Whatever,  _ dropout. _ ”

_ Oh, ouch.  _

I'm not entirely sure if Lance means his words to drip in a cruel way or not, and based on his expression, the way his gaze drops momentarily as the words slip out, I don't think he knows either. I watch Keith closely to gauge any sort of reaction, frankly a little nervous about them breaking out into a fight, but he doesn't quite react other than draw his eyebrows closer together in the slightest of frowns. 

_ So… Keith left the Garrison. That’s how they know each other but the trio are the only ‘cadets’.  _ Watching the others’ interactions with one another is filling in holes for me of their relationships before we met, and finally I’m getting closer signals at what exactly Keith’s connection is, why he was in that cave on Garrison property with the others. 

_ But knowing how they know each other isn’t explaining how he ended up with them in that cave.  _

The more I think about it, the more that his name begins to tickle some deep recess of my memory, just like Shiro’s scar and Pidge’s glasses. But, the more I tried to grasp it, the more it eludes me. 

_ Do I somehow know everyone in this merry band? That'd be one hell of a coincidence… but not the weirdest thing to happen today, frankly. _

“What did you say?” 

Shiro’s voice is so dark that we all turn to look at him with wide eyes, but I’m shocked to see that he isn’t glaring at Lance. His gray eyes are fixed firmly on Keith, but it isn’t so much of a glare as an accusatory gaze. Keith doesn’t meet his eyes, merely staring at the ground with his arms crossed over his chest. 

_ He looks downright upset, like… personally offended upset. Something tells me that Shiro isn’t caught up to date about Keith’s life just yet. Maybe he is his brother, that would make sense. My dad would probably react very similarly if someone said I dropped out of school. _

Hunk’s voice is high with anxiety, quickly cutting in and interrupting the exchange with a sheepish tone, “I haven't eaten since breakfast, but I'm still so hungry! Think the goo is worth it?” Hunk holds his stomach as he looks at the goo with an upturned pout. I can tell it’s a genuine question by the glimmer in his eyes, although his timing is… convenient. 

Pidge crosses his arms and glances at Hunk with a raised eyebrow, “No, but you've thrown up like, five times.” 

Hunk's expression clears, and he regards the goo with new eyes, “Yeah, good point.” Tentatively he hooks his fingers into the goo and slurps up the goo he managed to collect, I have to fight the urge to curl my lip. His expression reveals that he thinks it isn’t as bad as it looks, but I am not hungry enough to risk trying alien food yet.  _ Are we even sure if that’s edible? At least for humans? _

I quickly look away from Hunk as Shiro turns to face Coran and Allura, any trace of the accusatory dark look he’d launched at Keith and Lance earlier completely wiped away, “I can't believe that this civilization could create such advanced technology  _ one thousand years  _ ago _. _  It must have been an incredible place.” 

Coran meets his gaze with saddened eyes, “Yes, it… was. But now it is gone.” Coran’s voice is almost bitter as he looks up at Allura from her place at the podium, “And we are the last Alteans alive.” 

_ Well you didn’t have to go and say it like that…  _

Allura's gaze falls, her hand clasping over her heart as her eyes squeeze closed for a few seconds, and I feel my heartstrings tighten with empathy. Coran steps forward and rests a hand on Allura's shoulder, to which she immediately embraces him tightly with a tearless, almost exhausted sob. I furrow my eyebrows with a frown, casting my eyes away, I feel like my presence is intruding on their private moment.  _ Should we leave them to mourn? How the fuck does one handle your entire planet’s destruction a thousand years ago?  _

Allura looks up from where she’d rested her head on Coran's shoulder, looking around the room with her pointed ears twitching, almost like a cat’s. She turns away from Coran and approaches the pod where she was inoculated and peers within, smiling softly as she murmurs, “It looks like we aren't the last after all.” I look over her shoulder at the pod and spot what appeared to be five, furry creatures that vaguely resemble mice, two are incredibly fat and the other three are varying between healthy and thin, and they’re...  _ waving. _

I shake my head, closing my eyes with a deep breath.  _ You know what? Not the weirdest thing I've seen. Mice like Altean creatures are not the weirdest thing that’s happened today. _

Suddenly, with an abrupt shriek, an alarm lights up the entire room with flashes of red. We all whirl around to the hologram on the pedestal, which was now flashing an angry red with large symbols in the center: obviously something bad. After a moment, an image flies onto the screen of a sleek, black ship with purple accents and one long middle section with two wings along the sides, pulled together with the familiar spork thing on top. It damn near looks exactly like the ship that had attacked us back on Earth. 

Coran's eyes widen, his voice rising an octave in surprise, “A Galra battleship has set its coordinates to our location!” 

He turns to look at Allura for guidance, who steps forward with equally wide eyes, “How did they find us so suddenly?” 

Lance places a hand on his hip, his gaze pensive, “I'm not sure... but it's probably Keith's fault.” 

Keith shoots Lance with a tangible glare, hissing, “Say what you gotta say to make yourself feel better. At least I didn't get us stuck on the other side of the galaxy through a  _ wormhole. _ ”  _ Oh snap. _

Lance responds immediately in kind, standing damn near nose to nose as he shouts, “I'll stick  _ you  _ in a wormhole!” 

Shiro steps in, placing a hand on Lance's shoulder and physically separating them. Lance raises his arms in the air as if in victory as Shiro snaps impatiently, “Stow it, cadets! This isn't the time to place blame. It's the time to work together as a team!” 

_ He really is stuck on us being a team, thing, huh?  _

I look over at Hunk, who’s now gorging on the green goo, Pidge… actually seems pretty cool, he’s seems pretty smart… and then to Lance and Keith's incessant glaring.  _ How the hell is this a team? Whatever Shiro sees in us is completely hidden to me.  _

“How long until they arrive?” Shiro demands, turning back to Allura and Coran for answers.

Coran looks to the ceiling with a thoughtful expression, “At their speed?” He murmurs under his breath, counting on his fingers before he shrugs, “A couple of days?” 

Allura's gaze hardens, “Good.” She growls, her expression one of such ferocity that I know I never want to end up on opposing sides against her, “Let them come.” She turns to face us, eyeing us each individually as her shoulders square, “By the time they get here, you six will have found and formed Voltron, and together we will destroy Zarkon's empire.” 

_ Wow, no fucking pressure. How the fuck are we supposed to pilot those things? _

_ This is not what I thought would happen when I left school this morning. Not even close. _

The motivating silence in the room suddenly cracks, echoing with a belch. I glance over at Hunk, who is standing next to a now empty bowl. Green goo is stuck to his cheek, and he licks his lips with an apologetic grin, “Sorry, food goo!” 

Shiro turns his attention back to Allura, “Princess, there are five more of these lions, how are we going to find them?” 

Allura turns away as she seems to mull over the question, kneeling on the floor with her back to us. She ushers the mice she found in her container to leap into her hands and with them at arm she stands upright once more with a determined expression, “Follow me, and I'll show you.” 

She brushes past us with the mice at hand and walks out of the door with such purpose we all scurry to get out of the way, parting like oil from pepper. As we congregate to follow, I feel anxiety worming into my chest as her words echo in my mind. 

**_We_ ** _ will make that giant robot? Is she insane? Did she not just see Lance and Keith almost literally squaring off? She can’t not know that we're super… I don’t know, not qualified? Especially me, I'm  _ **_definitely_ ** _ not qualified. Does she expect me to pilot one of them? Fuck, there are six lions, eight of us… Maybe she and Coran will pilot two of them? I honestly can’t imagine Coran doing it, but maybe she’ll pilot one? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I can  _ **_not_ ** _ be piloting a fucking super weapon, or at least a part of one, when I’ve driven nothing but a bike my entire life.  _ My brows furrow as I recall just how...  _ complicated  _ the inside of the blue lion was. _  It's even in another language! I'm going to be completely useless in one of those!  _

As we followed the princess, I voice my concern. 

“Not to put a whole downer on your plan, but how exactly are we supposed to pilot one of those lions?" I ask, letting out a shaky breath in an attempt to level my trembling voice, "I mean… Okay, listen, I’m not a cadet, and all my friends say I'm a terrible driver!” I explain with a slight edge in my voice, I feel like I’m speaking faster than is necessary due to my nerves. 

Keith glances over at me, speaking in a husky undertone, “Trust me, if Lance can fly it, then anyone can.” 

Lance immediately bristles indignantly, whirling on him with a dark glare,  _ “Hey!” _

“Don't even start.” Shiro snaps, giving them a warning look that causes me to still; they quickly look away from one another, pacified. 

I'm not convinced; no matter how much Keith rips on Lance's flying ability, even though I have no context to put Lance in based on his skill, he seemed so... comfortable piloting the lion, even though it’s alien technology that must have been at least a thousand years old, if not probably older. It couldn't have been remotely similar to their flight simulators, but he just naturally knew what to do.  _ They're space cadets, that's what they're trained to do. Anyone with natural flying skill could pick up the controls, especially with his lion leading him.  _

_There’s no way I have those instincts._ _I'm going to get them hurt, maybe even killed if I command one of those lions._

Allura leads us through the halls of the castle up into a cavernous room with windows looking out at the surrounding area on all sides. The natural sunlight lights up the room effectively, causing the white pillars and blue crystals in the walls to glitter like stars. The floor is perfectly white save for a few seams in the floor, like in the room where we found Coran and Allura, no doubt with something hidden underneath them. In the center, with dual staircases wrapped around its sides, is a white circle as the commanding center of the room. The wrapped steps beside it lead down to the front of the room where there stands a white desk-like thing with the same surface as the podium back in the room we were before. Overhead hangs a huge blue crystal, similar to the one in the first room we entered, but this one is  _ humming  _ with energy. Just being near it is raising the hair on my forearms. Overall, the room reminds me of the command center in Space Trek, if Space Trek was sponsored by Apple.  _ Maybe Apple was run by aliens. God, I sound like a conspiracy theorist. _

 Allura strides to stand in the large circle in the middle, and immediately two small pillars rise up, meeting her palms like dutiful hounds. The furry, mice like creatures scurry from her arms and descend down, racing off and away at the speed of light towards the walls and out of sight.  _ Oh, I don’t like that.  _ I stay behind her as the massive crystal above her head begins to glow, casting her in an angelic blue light, kind of like the light that scanned us at the front entrance but  _ far  _ more powerful. 

Coran moves around Allura, skirting the circle and stands just in front of her, his expression one of excitement as he speaks in a flurry to us, “King Alfor connected the lions to Allura's life-force! She alone is the key to the lions' whereabouts.” 

We stand in silence, the room beginning to hum like the engine of a futuristic car as we watch with bated breath. I move around to stand by Coran, the others following close behind as dark blue holographic sphere projects itself, about the size of a globe right in front of Allura. Within the blink of an eye the globe expands to fill the entire room, blocking out the sunshine and darkening the room in night. Within the darkness are buds of light, like stars. As I examine them more closely, some are connected by little, dim white lines, connected into constellations; entire solar systems, entire universes are mapped out onto the massive projection. 

We all whisper noises of surprise and awe. 

Pidge's eyes widen, and I feel him step to my side to examine one of the nearby stars, “These are... coordinates.” A picture of a lion popped up in front of Pidge, one that looks exactly like the blue, except it is black and, surprisingly, has these little red limbs on its back, almost like wings, except if they are they’re kind of pitiful. An image of the blue lion appears next to it, seeming to stem from the same place on a holographic map of a planet, surrounded by strange symbols linked up next to them, “The black lion appears to be in the same location as the blue lion!” 

Coran leans over, grinning at Pidge wildly, “Look at your primitive synapses firing in your little brain cage!” 

I narrow my eyes, wondering if this is him trying to crack a joke as Allura interrupts him, “Very observant! That's because the Black Lion is in the Castle.” 

Coran continues where Allura left off, his hands on his hips, “In order to keep the Black Lion away from Zarkon, King Alfor hid it within the Castle, and can only be freed once the other five lions are present!”

The stars that spin and spiral around the room look like fireflies, glowing softly and flickering as the map moves at a slow rate, like a rotating display at a museum. I hold out my hand as a star, a planet, some celestial body floats closer. I touch it with a soft laugh, “This reminds me of those places, astroglobes, where they project the cosmos into the whole room... except it's much more interactive.” I touch the symbol, which flashes brighter on contact and then slides away. I smile, which is strange considering how fucking  _ weird  _ this day had been, but how can you not be giddy when faced with something so  _ cool? _

The small pedestals that rose to Allura fall, melting back into the circle as she speaks, “As Lance has shown us, the lions choose their pilots. It is a mystical bond, and it cannot be forced. The Blue Lion has chosen its Paladin, as will the other five.” 

“Wait a minute, what?” Lance blinks stupidly at Allura, who regards him evenly as he fumbles, “Wait, it chose me? How do you know?” 

“I can see its mark on you.” Allura answers as if it were obvious. Lance blinks at her with utter confusion, and so Allura clasps her hands before her, parting her lips as she attempts to explain, “You felt its presence when you found it, didn’t you?” 

Lance’s gaze flickers down to the floor, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets as he shrugs nonchalantly, “I mean… I guess…” 

“It talked to you, too.” I offer helpfully, meeting Allura’s gaze when she turns to me, “He was basically our translator as to what the lion was doing.” 

“Yeah, it did!” Lance puffs his chest out in pride, flashing Allura a bright grin, “I’m the lion whisperer!”

Allura chuckles a little with a bright grin, “Just a whisperer for the Blue Lion, I’m afraid.” She turns with a more serious expression and examines us in turn, I wonder if she’s examining our compatibility just like how she examined Lance. I wonder if she sees just how unfit I am for this, to do something, to  _ pilot _ something so important.

_ Is it possible for Shiro to just..  command the whole thing? He seems to be the only one I feel comfortable handling that kind of power and responsibility, in all honesty. And Pidge. He seems really smart, even though he’s young.  _ I glance over at him, his determined expression, and I wonder what kind of person he is. Each of the others' personalities are incredibly apparent, but his just... isn’t, which is weird considering he’s got to something like fourteen, fifteen, but no more than sixteen.  _ No one is that short after puberty. _

Pidge furrows his eyebrows as he pipes up, “How do you know…? Like, how do you know if a lion has chosen their... their Paladin?” He seems to struggle with the use of the word, sliding his glasses up his nose as the lenses glint in the light of the holographic stars. 

Allura smiles. “The quintessence of the lion is mirrored in its pilot.” She answers in a matter of fact tone, her gaze sliding from each of us in turn to the next, “Together, the lions form something greater than science can explain.” 

“I’m sorry, quintessence?” I hold up a hand awkwardly, biting my lip with a raised eyebrow, “What’s that?” 

Coran is happy enough to answer, turning to me with a flashy grin from where he stands off to the side, “For thousands of years, it’s been considered to be life itself, the soul of all living things and the essence of the building blocks of life.” He twists his mustache between his thumb and forefinger, his eyebrow raised dramatically, “Practically, it’s a life force.” 

Allura holds up her hand and the holographic map of space moves with it, which is rather dizzying considering how it encompasses the whole room. The picture of the black lion that Pidge found earlier swirls about, coming to a stop in front of Shiro. 

“I see the quintessence’s print upon each of you.” She begins, her voice is quiet and thoughtful as she stares at Shiro, who meets her gaze with a mix of confusion and attention. “The Black Lion is the decisive head of Voltron. It will take a pilot who is a born leader, and in control at all times. Someone whose teammates will follow without hesitation.” Allura’s eyes never leave Shiro's as she states, “That is why you, Shiro, will pilot the Black Lion.” Shiro's expression grows more determined, his gaze unmoving from the image of the lion before him, and I can practically see him bearing up the task onto his shoulders. 

Allura flicks her wrist, and the entirety of the holographic cosmos swirl again, but the image of the Black Lion staying in front of Shiro. As the map begins to slow, Allura speaks, “The Green Lion has an inquisitive personality, and needs a pilot of intellect and daring.” The map begins to slow as a new planet emerges, showing a lion just like the blue one in front of Pidge. The big difference is that this lion is,  _ wow _ , green, and there appears to be a black shield on its back with a strange, golden symbol on it, outstretched like wings. I recognize that symbol, it’s on the shoulders of the Blue Lion. 

Pidge's eyes fly wide in awe as he examines every detail of the Green Lion, “Pidge, I can see this curiosity and brilliance within you, and that’s why you will pilot the Green Lion.” Pidge breaks into a grin, his hazel eyes glimmering in the light. It’s the kind of smile that reminds me of children in Hallmark movies.

Allura continues, “The Blue Lion..” 

Lance suddenly interrupts, a cheesy grin on his lips with a thumb and forefinger rested under his chin, “Let me guess, the most handsome-slash-best pilot of the bunch?” He meets Allura's gaze with a dazzling smile, and I roll my eyes so hard I'm surprised they up and leave my skull.

Allura's face, however, does not change. “The Blue Lion has chosen you because of your fluidity, your ability to change course within a tick. Its Paladin, you, is someone who’s quick on their feet and resilient in the face of adversity.” 

“Oh, that’s definitely me. First word to describe me is certainly  _ agile. _ ” Lance grins wickedly, and I let out such a hard breath in an attempt to mask how badly I want to smack the fuck out of Lance.

“Lance.” I snap, covering a hand over my face as he raises an innocent eyebrow at me. I meet his gaze and hiss,  _ “Shut up.”  _

Lance steams but, surprisingly, doesn’t retaliate. Allura doesn’t pay us any mind, quickly moving on as she spins the holographic map again, “The Yellow Lion is strong, and dauntless.” She moves her hands to rotate the massive map as the Green, the Blue, and the Black Lions remain in their place before Pidge, Lance, and Shiro, “Its pilot puts the needs of others before his own; his heart must be mighty.” The map begins to slow, and a planet enlarges in front of Hunk, whose eyes are wide in awe as an image of a massive lion appeared. It appears bulkier in stance than the other lions, and was, surprise surprise, yellow. “As the leg of Voltron, you will lift the team up, and be the grounding force that holds Voltron steady through any storm!” Hunk flickers his gaze around as he realizes the lion has stopped before him, and he nervously points to himself, as if questioning whether he’s the one being spoken to. 

Allura grins in amusement as she opens her hands, as one would open a book, and an image of a lion similar in size and build as Pidge's appears. The major difference is it doesn't have a shield on its back, and it is bright red, like it’s painted in blood. “The Red Lion is temperamental, and the most difficult to master.” She gazes down at the lion with a pensive expression, her eyes rather far away, “It's faster, and more agile than the others, but also more unstable.” Allura looks up and opens her hands, the lion floating forward through the space, “It needs its pilot to be someone who relies on instincts instead of skill alone.” The image of the lion stops before Keith, who had appeared disinterested before, now has his lips splayed into a confident smirk as Allura concludes, “That’s why you will be the Red Paladin.” Her tone’s a little different referring to Keith than it was with the others, yet as I watch her, her expression nor stance clue me as to why. 

Lance, unable to resist the chance, grumbles with an unimpressed expression, “What, this guy?” He looked over at Keith with a dismissive gesture. Keith’s smirk fades as he shoots him what I think was supposed to be a glare but it turns more into a tired look; Lance returns it with a more intense energy. 

“Oh, keep it in your pants, Lance.” I grumble, crossing my arms over my chest. Immediately Lance loses his mind, floundering with his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water before he spits out, “ _ I’m.. wh- you - WHAT IN-! _ ” 

"Clam it, cadets." Shiro snaps in a commanding, parental tone, refocusing our attention back to the present moment.  _ Ha, he called me a cadet. Not sure how to feel about that. _ Allura merely stares at us with a raised eyebrow, no doubt confused, but  _ I have no regrets.  _

Allura quickly clears her throat, moving on as her eyes fix on Keith’s “Unfortunately, I cannot locate the Red Lion's coordinates yet... There must be something wrong with the castle…” She pauses hesitantly before she allows herself a slight grin, “After a thousand years, it might need some work!” 

Coran grins, raising an eyebrow cockily while pointing at the princess with a sly finger gun, “Don't worry, Princess, we'll find it soon! They don't call me the Coranic for nothing!” Coran looks to us as if to gauge a reaction and when he notices our blank looks he attempts to explain, ”Because... it sounds like mechanic. Coranic... mechanic... it just it does, it... It doesn't sound exactly like it but it's similar!” Coran twirls his mustache as he huffs, scowling a little at our lack of understanding. I kind of wanna laugh out of pity, but I figure that won’t make things better.

Allura continues with a slight chuckle, her hands swiping to the side to move the massive map, “The White Lion is the very heart of Voltron, literally and figuratively. Its pilot is someone who is empathetic, and feels others pain as their own, especially those on their team.” A lump formed in my throat as a starry symbol approaches me, guided by Allura's hand, “It needs someone who is compassionate, and willing to sacrifice everything, including themselves, to protect what they care about.” I can feel my hands begin to shake as she fixes me with a steady gaze, “Unfortunately, the White Lion is the most fickle about who pilots them, as it develops the deepest connection with its pilot than the others to the point that it’s impossible to tell where the Paladin begins and the lion ends. It will only bond with a pilot whose quintessence not only matches its own, but also someone who  _ earns _ his place as its pilot.” She meets my gaze and I feel my heart sink, “Will,-” 

“No.” I snap. I feel for a moment a little bad for cutting her off but as the image of the white lion as it approaches me I sweep of my hand through it; it merely fizzles for a moment before reforming itself. It looks just like the other lions but more to the size of the black one. I try to swallow past the lump in my throat, glaring at the stupid hologram that  _ refuses  _ to go away, “You've got the wrong guy, that isn't me. I can't… I'm not a pilot! I never went to the academy, it isn't going to choose me, it  _ hasn't  _ chosen me, this isn't…” 

“Will.” Shiro interrupts me, and I struggle to avoid his gaze. Instead I fixate on the image of the planet the White Lion is located on. It looks like a moon, it’s kind of familiar, actually… or maybe all moon’s kind of look alike... “You can do this.” Shiro murmurs from his place to my right, but I don’t look away from the moon, “You never know unless you try.” 

The world seemed to deafen when the image of the white lion flashes up, pointing out its position on the moon. The purr within me hit me like a freight train, so loud that I heard nothing else except the reverberation. Its mechanical eyes bear directly into my soul, it feels like it’s calling to me, and I think some part of me knows that I’m lying to myself. I think the White Lion  _ is  _ trying to choose me, but I can’t unsee its image, the dream vision of the lioness in my dreams that heralds the death and horror that my decisions wrought every night. I can almost hear the screams from all the people I fail in my dreams.  _ Fuck, I can't do this. I haven’t earned it. There’s no way, not when I failed so often, so fucking much that I’m not surprised my hands are stained in the faux blood, I am not the right person for this- _

A hand clasps my forearm, pulling me out of the lion's eyes. I glance over at Keith, who meets my gaze and silently raises an eyebrow at me. I realize that, again, I'm shaking. 

Suddenly, the lions come to life in their holographic forms, roaring in unison. Keith releases me as our attention turns to the lions’ movements, my breath calming for a moment with the welcome distraction. The images of the lions race together to the center of the room where Allura watches them with glittering eyes.

“Once the lions are all together, you will form Voltron: the most powerful warrior ever known.” I take a deep breath as a brilliant light illuminates where the lions meet, and a tall robot replaces the lions. A robot with a green arm, a red arm, a blue leg, a yellow leg, a black head, and a white chest: where each of us will go. “But Voltron is more than just a weapon, more than a warrior. It’s the defender of the universe.” Allura murmurs with an awed tone as the hologram then fades and after a few seconds so too does the dark hologram encompassing us. We stand once more in the brightly lit, windowed room, the map of the cosmos vanished with the image of Voltron.

Lance grins immediately, “Awesome!” 

Hunk sweeps his hands from side to side, his eyebrows furrowing suddenly, “Okay, wait, so we are going to be in there... flying lions…? How do the lions turn into legs? Also, is this going to be a long trip? I have to pee. Do you people pee?” 

I close my eyes as I struggle not to die laughing as Shiro speaks up. “We don't have much time.” He turns to face us as Hunk makes a lamenting sound, “Pidge and I will go after the Green Lion. Lance, you take Hunk and go after the yellow one. Keith,” Shiro turns, speaking in a more deliberate tone as he places a hand on his shoulder when he speaks, “You should go with Will to find the White Lion, but keep your ears open for when Allura finds the red one. If she finds it, then after you get the white on, work together to go get yours.” 

Keith nodded resolutely, glancing back over at me with a hooded gaze that I can’t read.  _ I wonder if he’s regretting being stuck with the crazy person.  _

Allura nods in agreement, clasping her hands over her heart, “In the meantime, Coran and I will get the Castle's defenses ready, they'll be sorely needed… and then we’ll continue to try and find the Red Lion.” 

Coran pipes up, twirling his massive mustache as he marches towards the doorway, “I'll ready two pods and load in the coordinates so you can reach your lions!” 

With the orders issued, I find myself meeting the gaze of the others as we measure each other up and fully grasp what’s happening. I feel something stir within my chest; it isn't like the purr, it’s something different, like we were tying invisible strings to one another, or something. I shake my head.  _ All of this inspirational talk is probably getting to me.  _

“Alright, so uh… Go team?” I offer with a shrug, which wins me a smile from Shiro. 

“Go team, I guess!” Pidge replies with a large grin, pumping his arm in the air. I notice in that movement that it isn't just Pidge's shorts that're huge, everything he's wearing seemed to be a size too big, he's positively swimming in that hoodie. 

“Yeah! Let's go!” Lance cries excitedly as he and Hunk break off from the group and head back to the exit, no doubt to head to the Castle entrance for the Blue Lion.  _ Hope they don’t get lost.  _ Pidge, Shiro, and Keith turn to follow Coran as he hustles off at a quick pace, and I quickly snap out of my thoughts to catch up to them. 

I try to swallow down the lump of anxiety in my throat when I realize what exactly I’m walking into.  _ These dreams… the white lion that leads each one has got to be a sign, they’re connected to this moment, I can feel it in the pit of my stomach, like I’m about to walk into the most stressful job interview of my life.  _

_ I guess _ _ it's time to face my fears. This has got to be the something bigger that I was searching for, the thing that drove me into the desert in the first place. Nothing can quite be bigger than being a defender of the universe, right? _

_ I need to rise to the occasion, to being the White Lion's pilot... I can't let the others down. _

_ Not while I have a say in it, at least. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> Thanks for the read, keep going if you're interested in more actual goddamn Character Development in these characters, so help me god..  
> Also if you're wondering why I changed Coran's description to having silver/white hair like Allura's it's because I'm trying to establish a bit of a specification to Alteans for having the 1. markings on their face and 2. light colored hair and the purple pupils because lets be honest, there is 0 reason for his hair to be orange in the show and it doesn't make sense bc King Alfor, his wife, etc. all had white hair so I'm just making it a species wide thing.  
> Of course that's not always the case, but I don't wanna spoil nothin.  
> :D
> 
> \--tense edited as of 10/18/18--
> 
> -re-edited for grammar, continuity and description as of 1/7/19-  
> **


	3. The White Lion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will's been able to stomach a lot so far, and frankly, he's kind of given up on trying to figure out what the fuck is even going on anymore. He's just trying to do his best, but it gets even more complex from there. Anxious about becoming a pilot, the one thing he's never wanted to become, not only that but a pilot to a massively important, incredibly powerful machine that he has no experience or business piloting? He's getting in very far over his head, and who knows what'll happen.  
> Especially when it comes to facing his own dream-scape.  
> \---  
> IMPORTANT NOTE!!!! This chapter contains very vague mentions of assault and emotional abuse, and may be triggering to some readers. Take care of yourself, and do what you have to do to do it, and I'll be sure to flag any and all chapters that contain such content in the future as well as this time, but just so you are warned! There is nothing specific, but it is alluded to, and it will be specified/brought into light later on. Again, take care of yourself!

When we arrive to the hanger deep in the bowels of the castle, Coran pulls Keith and I aside, opening a handy little container built into the wall that's full of what look like space suits, “The moon where the White Lion is located has no atmosphere, and I'm afraid your skeletons and physical structures won't be able to handle the vacuum environment. So, you're going to need these.” He pulls one out and tosses it at me. 

I look at it with a disgusted curl of my lip, and as anxiety wells up in my throat I attempt to shove it down, joking in a taut tone, “Great, gonna need these for when we're floating around in empty space like rag dolls. Love it.”

Keith raises an eyebrow as he kicks off his shoes to pull the suit on over his clothes, “Not excited?”

I merely scoff, moving to do the same without dignifying an answer to Mr. Broody Wonder. Pidge and Shiro’s voices are muffled in the cavernous room, the only sound in the room as I tug the suit over my sneakers, at least until it’s interrupted by the creaky sound of wheels on the smooth floors. I look up as I get my legs fully into the suit to see Coran wheeling a cart over to us. I blink within at the empty contents as Coran points within, “You can leave your belongings here, and the Princess and I will hold onto it until you get back.” 

“Thanks uh, Mr. Coran.” I answer awkwardly, giving him a slightly awkward wave, which I hope is conveyed as gratitude. 

However it seems more like I offended him, as he immediately begins to stammer, a hand pressed on his chest with a flabberghasted expression, “I-I am- I am  _ not  _ a-! Just, just Coran is fine… Little strange headed one.” He pats a hand the top of my head with a locked elbow before he walks off at a bizarrely fast speed. 

I blink stupidly and raise an eyebrow over at Keith, “Is he calling me crazy, or is he insulting my hair?” Keith, much to my shock, cracks a grin.  _ So he can express emotion!  _ I bend over to tug off my shoes from where they stick out under the suit, setting them into the cart. I straighten and pull my flannel off from around my waist and dropping it inside as well. 

Keith pulls his jacket off his shoulders, and as I pull on the top of the flight suit to wiggle my arms into them I see his hands hesitate at the buckle of his utility belt, but it’s only for a beat before he unfastens it. As he takes it off, I notice the knife sheathed in the back, it was all but hidden from under his ugly jacket. It's got an ornate black handle, with white cloth wrapped around pommel and the base of the gray and black blade. I blink, recalling how he was reaching behind his back when we first met. 

_ So the bitch really was really ready to stab me. That's pretty metal. _

“That's a cool knife.” I comment as I finally get the suit to settle on my shoulders after many seconds of struggle. Keith merely shrugs nonchalantly as he pulls his suit on over his shoulders, not deeming the words important enough for an answer, I suppose.

Eventually I figure what's going on with the suit, I tug on the back to get it up higher on my shoulders; it's a little too tight for comfort with layers, I wish I’d taken off my jeans, but as I glance over at Keith effortlessly pulling the suit up onto his shoulders I quickly realize that I definitely would not have stripped down in front of a stranger. Besides, too late for that now. I spot barely noticable clasps on my wrists and when I tug on them they close the tight material even more tightly around my forearms. Immediately the dust that clings to the suit’s fibers unsettle with the tugging movement, I can’t help but cough as the dust invades my sense, “How old  _ are _ these?”

Keith coughs as well when he gets a whiff of the old suits before he gives me a deft shake of his head, “We'll be out of them soon enough, let's just focus on getting your lion.” 

I raise an eyebrow, examining his stoic expression as he turns away and pulls on the boots Coran had set down before us as additions to the suit.  _ All business with him, it seems. Maybe he is dreading being stuck with the crazy person. _

I notice the back of his suit lies open, the clasp is down at the small of his back, and deciding to be helpful I reach forward and grab it, tugging it upwards but before I can even get an inch Keith whirls on me and grabs my wrist in a tight grip. I blink at him with wide eyes and quickly retract my hands, “Whoa, whoa, easy! Sorry, I was just gonna zip you up.” 

Keith flickers his dark violet gaze from my hands to my face, before he hums under his breath and turns his back to me again, but before he continues to fasten his boots he runs his hands through the longer locks of his black hair and to the side, baring the back of his neck. I blink when I realize he’s probably nonverbally telling me that it’s okay to continue, so I grab the clasp and tug it up his back, fastening the end just beneath his hairline once it’s all the way up. I grab the second pair of boots and step into them, but as I bend over to fasten them they’re taking a surprising amount of upper body strength that as I tug on a strap it refuses to get into place. I grumble angrily under my breath and plop down on the floor, tugging on the strap with both hands until it finally gives with a loud popping noise. I let out a breath of relief as I continue about fastening the rest of the straps.  _ This is an excessive amount of buckles-  _

Over my shoulder I notice Keith turning away, walking towards the middle of the hanger where Coran’s preparing the two pods. I huff indignantly as I get to the straps on my second boot and cry, “Hey, mind helping me out here?” He glances back at me with a raised eyebrow and I gesture to my back, where I can’t reach the zipper to zip up the dumb suit. He nods and returns to kneel down beside me as I finish up on the straps of my boot. His gloved hands pushes up the hair at the nape of my neck to keep it out of the way as he fastens it closed. 

“Thanks.” I murmur in a softer tone, flashing him a grin over my shoulder as I stand upright with the boots on, flexing my fingers in the strange material of the suit.  _ Ngh. Fucking hell, my parents must be subconsciously losing their minds, they can probably sense me putting on a flight suit, getting ready to go to space… Oh my God I’m going to space.  _

Keith hums but otherwise doesn’t reply as we turn towards the pods. 

Coran seems to be just about finished up preparing our pod, which sits in the middle of the hangerbay. Pidge and Shiro are already in their pod, which sits next to ours, and from within the dark windows I see that they seem to be messing with the controls. Coran gives Keith and I a thumbs up once he straightens up from the left side of the spaceship, “I changed the language in your pods to Earth tongue, so that should help! Your helmets and your communicators are on the floorboard in front of you-” Coran pauses as Keith brushes past him into the side Coran was just at, and I can see through the glass that he immediately lays his hands on the controls, or at least what I think are controls, I see what looks like a high tech steering wheel like the bars of a bike and bunch of flashy panels in front of it. Coran raises an eyebrow at Keith and steps back from the pod, “You do know how to fly, I hope?” 

Keith grasps the controls confidently, his gaze intensely staring ahead as I step around to the other side of the pod. I blink down at the helmets that rest beneath my seat, which look similar to the seat Lance sat in inside of the Blue Lion, and then I notice there’s a small box lying next to them, no bigger than my hand. I pick it up and open it, revealing two small pieces of white metal, like squishy earphones, but only for one ear. I put one in my ear curiously to see if I’m correct.

“I know a thing or two, yeah.” Keith finally answers Coran after the moments of silence, to which Coran looks at me questioningly, as if expecting me to answer. I merely shake my head, with a terse laugh, “I've never been in space before today, don't look at me.” 

Coran blinks in shock, and seems like he wants to follow up with a question or ten when all of a sudden Allura's voice comes over the piece of metal in my ear, causing me to practically jump out of my skin, “Coran, I need you on the bridge.” 

Coran waves a hand at us as he taps his ear, which I realize he probably has one of these in his ear as well. I hop into the shotgun side of the pod, which looks very much like the interior of what I'd expect a white and blue car of the future to look like, if the seats were metal, and if the car has seat-belts that strap across your chest from both sides. Like they have crash course dummies.  _ Will, not is not the time to be thinking like a pessimist. Fucking hell, I’m wigging the fuck out. Keep calm. Calm. Think of ocean waves… playing your keyboard back home… Don’t think about how you’re going the fuck to space. _

As I sit in the seat, I realize I still have the box at hand. I hold it out to Keith, gesturing to the earpiece inside when he gives me a questioning look, “Communicators, I think. Put it on.” He takes the com out of the box and I set it back down on the floorboard as he puts it in his left ear. 

“Alright, Paladins!” Coran’s voice is loud and clear, echoing in the hanger room so loud that I can hear him through the closed doors of the pod, “You’ll find communicators within your pods, on the passenger’s side with your helmets. Please put them on so we can communicate you while you’re on your missions!” I glance over at Keith and give Coran a thumbs up with a slight grin, muttering, “We’re covered!” 

“In order to speak, I believe for your strange little ears you’ll have to flex them backwards, but I haven’t any clue if you’re able to do that or not. I suggest clenching your jaws or something to experiment on what works!” Coran’s voice answers over the communicator, and I blink as I touch the piece of pliable metal in my ear. 

“Testing, testing.” I hear Shiro’s voice clearly over the com, closely followed by Lance and Hunk at crackling intervals, “Got-it!” “Yea-is th-is wo-king?” 

I frown and focus on my ears,  _ how the fuck do you flex your ears _ . I give it my best shot, lifting my eyebrows as I speak, “Can y’all hear me?” 

Keith glances over at me and shoots me a thumbs up before he speaks as well, “Testing, testing.” He says, his voice in the com in my ear like an echo. I give him a reciprocating thumbs up as Pidge calls, “How sophisticated! I’m totally taking these apart later.” 

I manage a grin as Coran’s voice crackles over the communicators, “Alright Paladins, now that we can all hear each other, commence your orbit around Arus while Princess Allura and I prepare the wormholes.” I reach behind me and grab the seatbelts, strapping myself in and then shifting to click the pieces together. They kind of remind me of the seatbelts they have on rollercoasters, actually. I glance over at Keith as he fastens himself in as well before fixing his gaze to the controls. He reaches forward and presses a few buttons, like he knows exactly what he's doing, and immediately the pod makes soft humming noises, activating and vibrating beneath our feet.  _ He probably does know what he’s doing, cadet training is extensive, even if he doesn't go there anymore. I certainly hope he knows what he’s doing… Shit, what if he doesn’t know what he’s doing? Oh God, it would just be my luck to have a drop out cadet piloting me into outer space in an alien pod on an alien planet, fucking hell, what have I gotten myself into- _

Suddenly, the doors of the hanger open ahead of us. The afternoon sunshine beating on the planet casts rays of light inside the hanger and I suck in breath at the  _ beautiful  _ view of the sea dead ahead. It glitters like a sea of sapphires in the sunlight, the horizon a soft pastel blue that leads into the vibrant sky blue above, golden crescents arcing with the movement of the waves. I stare at the ocean with wide eyes, and I’m so engrossed in the view that I barely hear Keith’s voice beside me.

“Just... don't throw up, okay?” He grumbles. I glance over at him as he looks at me with scrutiny, like I’m about to retch on the spot. 

I roll my eyes, and wave him off dismissively, “No, I’m not about to throw up, it’s just…” I gesture out the windshield of the pod with a breathless laugh, “Isn't it hard to believe this isn't Earth? I mean, look at the ocean! It's beautiful, but it's not the same, I know it isn’t, but… I don’t know. Just really cool.” I think out loud, but Keith doesn’t answer me, his gaze intently focused on the pod’s controls. I turn to regard him as he flips some switches on the dashboard to his right, and after a long silence he lets out a breath as the pod hums, it’s almost like a sigh. He looks so… relaxed. Like he’s been waiting for this, like he belongs in the pilot's seat.

“Alright, Keith,” I start, letting out a short breath, “ _ Please  _ tell me you actually know how to fly this thing.” 

Keith merely smirks at me in a knowing manner before he turns back to the controls, but before I can press him Shiro’s voice comes over the com, “Keith and Will, you two can go first, we'll launch after you.” I nod, before realizing how stupid I look nodding when he can't see me, but Keith answers promptly without a glance over at me, “Roger that!” 

Without warning he presses forward on the controls and I'm immediately pushed into the seat as the force of the pod's thrusters shoot us out of the hanger like a cannon. Desperately I grab the seat beneath my thighs with a gasp of surprise, and I hear Keith chuckling beside me, “Wow, these things got more of a kick than I was expecting.” 

I feel my stomach lurch, gazing out the glass of the pod down below as we launch into the sky. The pod is rattling like a maraca and I watch as we leave the castle far behind until it’s nothing but a pearl nestled above the ocean, glimmering in the sunlight. “Don’t look down.” Keith advises beside me. I shoot him a glare over my shoulder as I turn back to look forward. 

The sky is already darkening, or rather, we’re already leaving the sky behind to enter the vast emptiness of space, and I hold my breath as we break through the clouds. It takes me a solid minute to remember to breathe, and as the blue skies give way to the black and violet darkness of space, I'm rocked at the beauty, just like when we left back on Earth. There are  _ so  _ many stars, and the space around us is so  _ empty  _ yet so  _ expansive  _ it makes me feel so small, so so small but it’s just so breathtaking to be able to see the universe this way. I feel like I’m getting a glimpse of forbidden knowledge, and it’s  _ fucking terrifying _ . Yet… also… really really cool.  _ So few people have seen this before, none of them being people outside the Garrison. Lucky me…? _ “Wow.” I murmur softly under my breath as I stare out the glass, “I never like to think about how huge space is, but it's really pretty in its own way like that.”

Out of the corner of my mouth, I swear I see Keith allowing a ghost of a smile, “You seem to notice the little things more often.”

I shrug, shifting in my seat but my heart immediately lurches in my throat as when I move I feel utter weightlessness, like I’m at the crux of a rollercoaster except the feeling persists, it’s unceasing. I realize it’s because the force of the planet's gravity is no longer holding me down, but although I know it’s normal,  _ we’re in space _ , I can’t help but have a few seconds of  _ holy fuck we’re in space and this is zero gravity because we’re in  _ **_fucking space._ **

As I try to sit back down closer to my seat, Keith reaches between my legs towards the floorboard, grabbing his helmet from between my feet. I blink and scoot back against the seat to give him some space, “You could've asked, I would've gotten it for you.” Keith merely hums in response, what I’m guessing is his go to when he’s saying  _ yeah I heard you but I have nothing to say about it _ . I reach down and snatch my helmet as well. It’s like a motorcycle biker’s helmet, sleek and white but with a see-through visor. I wince as I tug on the helmet and it tugs on the earrings in my left ear.  _ Shit. I should've not worn these, if I had known I was going to space…  _

_ I think, actually, I would've done a lot of things if I knew I was going to space, like probably admitted myself into a psych ward. _

I pull myself out of my thoughts, glancing over at Keith as Allura's voice comes over the com, “The portal should be up in a moment, it's been a while since it was last used so we have to make sure the teludav is still fully operational. We'll give you the go when it's ready!”

“Copy that.” Shiro answers through the communicator. So, we sit in silence, staring at the glass that separated us from the vast emptiness of space.

We have to be sitting there for a solid minute, as I awkwardly tug on my lip between my teeth.  _ Well… if we have the time, we should probably get to know each other, right? We’re gonna be working together and all that, being Paladins or whatever the fuck but… But God, he’s so brooding, I doubt he’ll tell me anything unless I ask it right. What do I even ask?  _ It takes a painstaking while before I finally gather the courage to say something, and I just let the words fly before I can properly formulate the sentence, “So... Lance mentioned that you were a drop-out?” Immediately I’m awarded a momentary glare out of the corner of Keith's dark eyes, which had been fixated on the empty, eternal space in front of us.  _ Shit, that was a horrible way to phrase that. Off to a great start, Will. Fucking hell, I’m cracking this up to nerves, I’m shaking like a goddamn leaf. _

I bite my lip, fiddling with my fingers awkwardly as I stammer, “Ah, fuck, sorry, that came out all wrong, I just, uh…” I chew on my bottom lip as the silence practically suffocates me in the cabin, before finally I shift to face Keith more fully, “You were at the academy, but you aren't any more?” Keith slides his gaze away from me back to the empty space. _ I'm sorry, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, I swear- _

“Yeah. I'm not really the type that the garrison was looking for.” He responds evenly, clicking some buttons on the panel beside him, and even though they were in English I still have no idea what they were supposed to mean, except for maybe ‘system check’.  _ Oh my god, I'm so out of my element, I'm in fucking space… Keep him talking, if nothing else but to distract me from how scared shitless I am. _

“How long were you there?” I pipe up, looking at the side of his helmet with a hopeful gaze.  _ Come on you broody bastard, talk to me so I don’t wig the fuck out. _

“A while, few years.” Keith answers curtly, his gaze focused on the buttons before him. He presses a few and then taps a few others, and I watch as bars, one of which is labeled ‘fuel levels’ pops up.  _ He’s looking at fuel levels? _ That’s when I realize that the buttons as they beep softly with each of Keith’s pushes, are just to keep him busy so he doesn't have to look at me.

“I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable,” I mutter sheepishly, resting my head against the back of the seat as I speak with my hands “I just... I get the feeling I know you, or have heard of you, and thought I’d figure out from where.” I glance over at Keith as he flips another switch, “Besides, it doesn't hurt to get to know each other better, right?” I look at my hands, they buzz as they move in the air, and it’s freaking  _ weird  _ to have to use force to drop them to my lap, rather than relying on gravity to just drop them for me.  _ I didn’t realize how gravity affects your life until you’re without it. Oh my fucking God, I’m in space.  _

He chuckles dryly under his breath, “Your parents work at the academy, right? I bet you heard of me.”

I rack my brain, furrowing my eyebrows, “I don't know, they refer to people by their last names usually, so I don't know…” I pause and rack my brain.  _ Have I heard my parents about someone who didn’t ‘fit the Garrison type’?  _ Suddenly, a theory strikes me and I sit up straighter with a snap, "Wait, Keith… as in Keith Kogane? Is that you?”

“So they did talk about me.” It isn’t a question, it sounds like a confirmation to a thought he already had. He glances over at me with a guarded expression out of the corner of his eye, his hands resting on the controls in front of him to keep the pod steady in the zero gravity.

I remember the conversation I overheard from my parents clear as day… but I don't want to tell Keith about how my mom would throw her class’s textbook across the room, pulling her hair out in frustration as she'd shout, _ ‘That damn Kogane kid is going to be the death of me! He's the best damn flier I've ever seen, but he doesn't seem to care! How can I make that kid give a fuck?!’ _

I loved to listen in when they talked shit about cadets because, not gonna lie, it gave me a false sense of superiority.

“Yeah, they did.” My gaze softens, and my voice drops to a lower register as I regard him. "My mom said that you're the best, natural born pilot she'd ever seen, and that she wished she knew the secret to connecting with you.” 

Keith seems surprised by this, glancing over at me with wide eyes, “Wait, really?” I nod in affirmation. He turns away to examines the control panel with renewed interest, “That's... not what I was expecting.”

“What were you expecting?” I ask with a raised eyebrow, but before he can answer a thundering  _ boom _ shakes the pod as a massive blue portal snaps open before us, one that looked exactly like the one that brought us to the planet in the first place. Allura's voice echoes in the communicators, “Alright Paladins, you have 2 hours to get your lions, I can't hold the wormholes open any longer than that, so go swiftly!”

“Roger that.” Keith responds curtly, and without hesitation he presses the steering wheel-looking thing of the pod forward. The thrusters engage and I grab the front of my harness-seat belt as we enter the wormhole.

I immediately realize that holding my seatbelt is not comforting enough as soon as we enter, and instead latch onto the seat below me as we rattle through the wormhole with a white knuckled grip. I squeeze my eyes shut and I don’t open them until the shaking ends, no doubt when we get spit out, a few seconds later. I open my eyes with a relieved breath to see us rapidly approaching a moon. It’s small and gray, with dark gray craters intermittently thrown across its surface. It honestly looks like  _ the _ moon, actually.

“Is this... Wait, that's Earth?!” Keith blinks in surprise, his eyes wide as he stares just beyond the moon, and when I follow his gaze I spot a familiar blue and green planet, hovering in space like it’s held on an astral string. I feel my jaw fall open as I stare at Earth’s surface, the swirling white clouds dangling over the vibrant green ground, the brilliant blue of the oceans, and the slight glow of the sun just beyond it, masking the side we see in shadow but causing the outer edges to glow, casting the moon like a halo.  _ I suppose that’s why scientists call planets celestial bodies.  _

I didn’t get a good look at Earth when we were hightailing it with the Galra ship in tow, but now… pictures do not do it justice.  _ Everyone I’ve ever known or seen in my entire life are right there, all in one shot.  _

“Wow.” I whisper under my breath, my shoulders falling back against the seat as I stare at our home. “That’s… everyone we’ve ever known. Every place we’ve ever been before today… that’s it. We’re looking at it.” 

Keith doesn’t answer for a long moment as we slowly coast closer to the moon, only for his gaze to turn back to his controls when a soft pinging coming from one of the panels. “So, the White Lion is on the Moon?”

I raise an eyebrow and lean over to look at the panel. I see the little blue holographic arrow pointing to its surface, the part that’s facing towards the Earth. I scoff a little under my breath as I shift back to face forward, “On the lit side of the Moon nonetheless, seems kind of poetic.” I fix my gaze firmly to the moon as we approach.

My breath is completely stolen, seeing it up close like this. I'd watched the night sky with it hanging above, glimmering like a jewel, and here it is, getting closer and closer by the second. It makes the situation a whole lot more real than it was about two seconds ago; the fact that this crazy, insane thing that we’ve been thrust into was at our doorstep for so long. 

“The moon’s always lit on some part.” Keith responds plaintively, his eyes fixed on the grayed surface. 

I shoot him a sharp glare, “You know what I mean! Symbolism!” 

Keith shakes his head as he adjusts the thrusters, “Yeah, sure.” Keith pulls on the controls with precision and care, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as we glide through space, the low hum of the thrusters the only thing heard as Keith brings us in. _ He really looks like he knows what he's doing; natural flier indeed.  _ It does make me feel a little bit better, knowing that someone of some semblance of competency is piloting this thing… 

Suddenly, a loud, thundering purr rocks my chest, assaulting every single sense and clouding everything from the force. It's so loud it's almost a roar, and I feel like my entire body is seized by some powerful force blossoming within me. 

“You okay?” Keith’s voice almost immediately silences it, making me realize that I had gasped. I stare straight ahead at the rising surface of the Moon, and struggle to breathe.

“I... yeah. It's... it's stronger, now. The purr.” I stammer, touching a hand to my chest. My whole arm seems to be vibrating, and when I look down I realize that it’s because my hand is trembling, badly. I close my eyes and let out a shaky breath as something pulses with in me, that a second heartbeat, even stronger than my own, pounding in my ears. It's the same pace as mine, but it feels more like it’s beating so fast out of excitement rather than fear like mine does.

Keith presses a series of buttons on the holographic panel, the pod responding with low bursts that slow the pod as we approach the surface, “We're approaching the coordinates Coran gave us.”

With the gentle precision of a surgeon Keith brings the pod down to the surface of the moon. I close my eyes as the pulse in my throat grows stronger with every second, and I jolt when the pod lands with a loud thud. Keith shuts the power off, and all that's left is deathly silence for a few seconds before Keith presses another button, opening the pod's doors / roof. I take a deep breath, my visor fogging briefly as I stare up at the sky, or rather, the lack of sky above me, the endless nothing of the universe. We're exposed to the raw emptiness of space. On the surface of the Moon.

I feel my breath catch in my throat as I stand upright. Zero gravity feels like you're floating through water, so when I push out of my seat as I would’ve if I were back on Earth, being held down by gravity, of  _ course  _ the force I use is a little stronger than it should have been. I lurch out of the pod like I just tried to leap onto a tall building, and I let out a terrified yelp but just before I fly into space Keith’s hand grabs the back of my suit, hauling me back down to the ground with a gruff tug.

“Seriously, both of your parents are space-flight experts, and you've  _ never _ had any space training?” Keith critiques, his eyebrows furrowed at me in frustration once I touch back down to the ground. 

I huff at him in response, my breath momentarily fogging my visor, “No! That wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life, whether they liked it or not.” I snap back, turning away to gather my bearings.

I turn around the area, moving as slowly as I can physically manage, and take a few short steps, getting used to the feeling of this… zero gravity. It's like I'm on a trampoline, underwater, but not. A combination of the two? I glance back at the footprints I made, and that’s when I realize Keith was following me, as he stops beside me when I stall. His expression looks distracted, but as I stop he peers over at me, speaking with a tone that’s almost abashed, “Sorry, didn't mean to piss you off.” 

_ Oh. Now I feel bad for snapping at him… but aww, that's awful sweet, I knew there was more to him than just the broody bad-boy attitude. _

I shake my head dismissively, “You didn’t, I’m just scared out of my mind right now.” 

I find my gaze turning downward, examining my footprints. I slowly look up to our pod, the circular layer it left in the ground, and our footprints in the gray and white sand. I murmur in a low tone, not even thinking as the words flow out, “The moon's surface is never disturbed by anything natural. There's no wind, no rain... every mark we make here will still be here, even thousands of years from now.” I turn to peer ahead, at Earth, my mind in the clouds as I remembered the stories of the first astronauts. “You know, the footprints of the first men on the Moon are still here.” I turn to look at Keith, unable to stop the smile from spreading across my face as I let out a wild laugh, “Isn't that just… so amazing? We are literally walking where legends once stood.” 

Slowly I turn away, taking another step forward tentatively as Keith's voice crackles through my earpiece, “First you’re scared out of your mind, now it’s ‘so amazing’?”

I grin to myself, welcoming this newfound distraction from the secondary heartbeat within me that pulses, like I swallowed a speaker blasting a song with only base, with every step, “Fuck off, let me have this.” I continue talking with a wicked smile, “I wonder if the American flag is still up, from the 1950's, or whatever. They planted it there and it was a huge source of national pride to distract everyone from the growing conflict with the Cold War with Russia. That'd be pretty cool to see.” The second pulse, which I’m slowly realizing must be the White Lion’s, grows louder, pulsing in my veins and in my ears until it's ready to practically consume me. To keep myself present, I focus on not flying off into empty space. 

“Are you into history, then?” Keith asks, and as I glance over at him I see him taking slow, graceful,  _ practiced  _ leaps across the the ground, gray and ashy; it would be difficult terrain if there was gravity. I have to keep watch ahead to see where I'm going. 

“No, I’m just an encyclopedia of random knowledge. Ask me about meme culture at the beginning of the twenty first century.” I joke with a smirk. Just ahead, I notice we’re coming upon a rather steep cliff, but as I move I’m finding it difficult to slow down the pace I’ve set.  _ Oh Fuck. This is insane, I feel like I’m learning how to ride a bike, except I’m just walking. Maybe I should have at least watched pilot training videos, read one of my mom’s textbooks, something, anything, if I knew I'd be walking on the Moon someday... I'm so out of my fucking element. _

I stop a few inches from the edge, but even though I was going slowly on purpose I still nearly teeter for a terrifying second on the edge, I have grab Keith’s shoulder to keep from falling. He grabs my arm in turn to keep my steady, snickering under his breath, “Graceful.”

I shoot him a playful glare, “I’ll kick you over the edge, see who’s graceful then.” 

I lean over to examine the fall below. It's about a hundred foot drop, from my guess, and with another craggy ledge straight ahead. The ravine below is dark, shrouded in shadow, and as I scan the sides my eyes lock onto a cave entrance just across the way. As soon as my eyes locked onto it my heart, the lion's heart or whatever it is in my chest, is just about to beat out of my chest it’s so damn excited.

I glance over at Keith in a more serious tone, “This is it. It’s there.” I point to the cave, and even with the pulse reverberating in my skull I can plainly see that my hand is trembling. Badly.  _ Fucking hell, as if being in fucking space isn’t bad enough, I’m approaching the motherfucker that’s been haunting my sleep for my entire life. That’s what it has to have been, a white lion that makes me do horrible, crazy shit, when Allura said that it demands their pilot to earn its place? God I fucking hate how fucking powerless I feel right now, I hate how badly I’m shaking, internally and externally- _

Keith follows my hand to the cave and he’s silent as he examines the ravine, a  _ sizable  _ ravine, that blocks our path to the cave. It doesn’t appear to have any sort of walkway leading up to it, so we’ll have to like, rock climb down, then climb back up when we reach the bottom… that’ll take forever.

“Let's make a running start.” Keith’s voice snatches me from my thoughts, and I look over at him with wide eyes as he shrugs, “We can probably make it." 

“Excuse me, what?!” He takes a few steps back despite my flabbergasted tone, and after a beat of stillness he takes a few long, running steps to the lip of the ravine and sails over the chasm. I watch as he soars over the edge, falling slowly like he's on a hang glider, and after several seconds of terrified held breath I relax as he lands just in front of the cave, rather gracefully in fact. He turns back towards me, waving for me to follow as his voice states confidently over the com, “Just run up to it!”

“This is insane!” I shout back at him, but I take a few steps back anyway before turning to face the edge.  _ This is insane. I fucking hate heights. This is so stupid. Oh my God.  _ I take a steady breath, fogging up my visor for a moment before I sprint forward. My legs move like I’m running through syrup, and once I reach the lip of the ravine, I jump.

The weak gravity pulls me down slowly, like I’m falling through water, but it seems that I got too good of a running start. As I descend, about halfway through I realize I overshot, and just as I’m about to crash directly into the wall over the cave Keith steps up to me, grabbing my ankle and pulling me down to him. I land on solid ground and immediately let out a terrified laugh, resting my hands on my knees and unexplainably unable to collect my breath. After a moment I stand upright and pat Keith on the shoulder; he’s looking at me with utter amusement, an eyebrow raised incredulously, and I can only imagine how stupid I must look.  _ He probably did shit like this every day at the Garrison.  _

“That was so freaking cool.” I let my breath out in one loud puff, grinning wildly at Keith with my hand on his shoulder. Keith curls his nose and laughs, outright  _ laughs _ . Honestly, it's the greatest sound I'd ever heard, and I find myself staring at him for a second too long.  _ I should make more stupid jokes in the future to hear it again.  _

I turn my gaze to the cave entrance once I've had my happy moment, and head inside. 

My eyes adjust to the darkness of the cave after a few seconds, and when I blink I run smack into the wall in a very ungraceful way. I fumble back a large step, due to the low gravity, and collide with Keith right when suddenly the cave blooms with bright white light, like a flash grenade just went off. Keith gasps in surprise as we both fall to the ground, and I shield my eyes to look up at the cave walls to find the source of the painful light. 

When my eyes adjust to the newfound light I see several carvings, much like the ones in the cave where we found the Blue Lion, illuminated the cave with soft white light like the light of stars, except these carvings aren’t images like they were on Earth. These carvings are of constellations, constellations I don’t recognize, some in shapes of what I think are animals but others are symbols, runes, none of which make any sort of sense to me. I push myself upright, and I can hear Keith grumbling under his breath about my grace as he in turn stands back up beside me. 

I stick close to Keith’s side, expecting for the floor to give out from under us like it did back on Earth, but it doesn’t. Instead, a white circle appears on the far side of the cave, no bigger than my hand, pulsing with a dim, white light at the same rate as the second heartbeat in my chest, which has fortunately diminished to something more ignorable. I glance over at Keith and he at me, and with slow, cautious steps we approach to examine the rune.

It’s a small, glowing crescent moon within a full circle, illuminated just a little bit more brightly than the carvings in the walls. I'm silent for several moments, waiting for something to happen, but the cave is still. This was that part that, back in the Blue Lion's cave, that we were swallowed up by the ground to the lion's chambers, but that isn't happening here for some reason.

“Maybe it’s some kind of lock?” Keith asks with narrowed eyes on the crescent rune. 

I shrug in response, “I haven't the faintest idea. I certainly don’t have a key.” I slowly reach out my hand to the circle, but it’s hard for some reason, I feel like my entire body is on vibrate. I look down at my hand where it hovers just above the circle, and that’s when I realize I’m not vibrating; I’m shaking, hard. Fear climbs in my throat unexplainably, and I hold my hand up to my face to try and bring it under control, but it only grows worse, I feel like I’m about to crawl out of my skin, and the more that I tremble the harder the lion’s heartbeat pulses in me, like it’s goading me to touch it,  _ touch it, touch it- _

_ … But what lies beyond? I guess I'll never know until I try. Maybe it’s not a big deal, maybe I just gotta touch it and it’ll lead us into the chamber… Except it won’t. I feel it, it won’t, this is about to trigger something I can’t explain.  _

“What is it?” Keith’s voice rips me out of my head, and it surprises me enough that I realize I’m holding my breath. I let it out in such a rush that it fogs my visor, and I let my hand fall to my side. 

“I can't do this.”

Keith moves to stand beside me, and I look up to meet his gaze. He appeared frustrated at first, but as soon as he meets my gaze all emotion vanishes from his face, replaced with something gentle as he raises an eyebrow at me, “What’re you talking about?”

I shake my head, turning to face him fully as I fight to keep my voice from shaking with only minimal success, “I just... I can't be the right person for this. My dreams, they’re… they show me all the people I fail, every _fucking_ night it’s just _failure_ and _failure_ and the _consequences_ , I... What if they're trying to show me something? What if I pilot the White Lion and this Zarkon guy wins?” I let out a shaky breath, gesturing towards the entrance to the cave, “You heard what Allura said, it won't take a pilot unless it deems them worthy.” I gesture to myself with both hands, and I can hear how my voice is rising almost in hysteria as I spit out, “I'm _not_ _worthy_.”

Keith's expression is guarded and quiet, and after a beat of silence his hand grasps my shoulder, “Listen, Will, I know we don't really know each other, and I’m not really… I don’t really know how do this sort of thing, but you can do this.” His eyebrows are furrowed with determination, and as my gaze slides away his grip on my shoulder tightens, compelling me to look back up at him as he continues, “You already have gotten this far, and I don't think the lion would talk to you the way that it does if it didn't think you were its pilot.” Keith's gaze is strong, determined, and for a brief moment I almost believe him.

I let out a breath and turn, staring at the softly glowing constellations that light up the walls before my gaze falls to the crescent moon in front of me. 

I touch the rune.

A painful white flash rocks my vision, and I’m vaguely aware that I stumbling back as I cry out. I hit the ground hard, blinking furiously for several seconds to try and clear the spots dancing in my eyes, but everything is just... white, like a hospital room. I feel that I am lying down on my back, and I briefly wonder how I ended up in this position as I sit up with a groan, a painful throb behind my eyes.

It isn’t that I’ve gone blind; the space that I am in is limitlessly white, nothing as far as I could see, except for me and my shadow. It's like, the opposite of space, expansive white nothing... but there is definitely a floor that I am sitting on.  _ I’m sitting. Like… gravity is holding me down, sitting.  _ I touch the ground on either side of me and stand up shakily, blinking as I finally grow used to the new, bright light, and as I turn around in search for Keith my heart lurches in terror.

_ Where am I? Where is Keith? _

“Keith!” I shout, my voice echoing in the vast nothingness. I move to touch my helmet and flexing my ears to activate my com so he could hear me, but there is no helmet. I blink as my hands go through my hair, and I whirl around as I realize I'm not even in the space suit. I'm wearing the same clothes I was wearing before we left Earth.

_ What the hell.  _

“Keith!!” I scream into the silver abyss, but there is no response. It’s deafeningly quiet, and I noticed that my voice reverberates not quite an echo, it more is like a delay, like… like in my dreams. 

_ Okay, this is weird. Familiar, and very, very weird.  _

Suddenly, I hear it: the purr. But it isn’t in my head this time, nor in my chest. It rings in the air, all around me, in my bones, coming from... behind me. I slowly turn, searching for the source, and I’m face to face with a lion.

It isn’t mechanical, or at least looks incredibly real. It has a pearly white coat, and it's about the size of a small car. It’s a lioness, technically, as she has no mane, and I find myself distracted by her claws, which curve like silver in her massive paws the size of dinner plates. Her eyes are strange, entirely gold and glowing in the light space, with no pupils whatsoever. Her tail twitches as she watches me, otherwise unmoving. 

I’ve been here before. 

I’ve been here every night since I could remember. This is exactly how all my dreams begin... except this isn't a dream. This is very _ very _ real.

“...It’s you.” I murmur, staring at the lion with wide eyes. She doesn’t answer me, just as she always has.  _ This isn’t a dream. I am here. This is real. This is very very very real.  _

“Why… why have you sent me those dreams? Were you trying to test me?” I ask, but the lion merely stares back at me, its tail continuing to flick back and forth at regular intervals like the hands of a clock. Anger, resentment, rises like bile in my throat I take a step towards it, snarling, “Haven’t I proved to you that I’m all wrong for this? I know what you are now, I know you were trying to…  _ screen  _ me, then you should know that I’m not what you’re looking for!” 

The lion looks on without change in form or expression. I let out a cry of frustration, “Why did you choose me for this? What do you  _ want _ from me?!” 

No sooner does the question leave my mouth does the lion suddenly bursts into pitch black smoke. Just like in my dreams. I blink and take a step back as the smoke shoots toward me, swirling around me like I’m the eye of a storm. I can faintly hear voices within the smoke, calling out with words I can’t quite hear but their tone is desperate and raw and terrified. I whirl around with wide eyes, looking for the source of the voices but before I can act the smoke curls away from me like shooting stars. They pause a few yards away from me and begin to collect into shapes. Just like in my dreams.  _ Except my dreams are real. This is real.  _

The smoke pushes through my hair in its retreat, and rattles my senses and the next time I blink the smoke is gone. Three people stand about three yards away from me, two cowering on the floor and grasping at each other with a shadow standing over them. Their faces form, and my heart leaps into my throat to see the tears streaming down my mom’s cheeks and the absolute terror reflecting in my dad’s eyes, and immediately I begin to shake when I see the gun manifesting in the standing shadow’s hands.  _ No. NO.  _

“Get away from them!” I scream as I sprint forward, faster than I think I was ever able to go in my dreams, and without thinking I immediately dive to get between the gunman and my parents. The man lifted the  gun but before they were able to aim them at my parents I slide between my parents and him, pressing my back to them and covering them with my body as best as I can. I stare the gunman down, but when I look up into where I thought would be his eyes and instead I meet two, black and crimson flames. He glares at me as I stare him down, and for several long, long seconds we stare at each other. Everything is still. I don't think I've never gotten here in time before, in my dreams. I was always a second too late, and now that I had done it, I don't know what would happen.  _ Would he actually shoot me? Would I die? Who would command the White Lion, who would help the others form Voltron? There’s a Galra ship coming in a few days, they would find someone more suitable but for right now I'm all they've got! I can’t fail! _

With a soft hiss, the gunman dissolves into black smoke, and I let out an immediate, gasping breath of relief. I turn around to my parents to see that they are also gone, a pillar of swirling smoke in their places.  _ That’s it? That was… mild. Compared to past events.  _ I watch as the smoke begins to take form once more, spreading out to surround me entirely until there are five people standing around me in a circle.

At first, I think they're strangers but as their forms grow definition, as their faces sharpen, I realize that they aren't strangers at all; I'd dreamed of their faces for as long as I can remember: Hunk, Pidge, Lance, Shiro, and Keith. They stand entirely still, staring me down with crimson and black flame instead of eyes.

**_“Can you protect me, Will?”_ ** Shiro suddenly speaks, his voice echoing loudly in the empty space and reverberating in my ears. It’s him, it sounds just like him, like he’s really here with me. I turn to look at him, his gaze stoic and expressionless as he asks the question again,  **_“Can you protect me?”_ **

“Yes, I can. I will.” I answer, my eyebrows furrowed in determination as the others' voices suddenly collided in unison, shaking the empty space,  **_“Can you protect me?”_ **

I blink and whirl in a circle as they take a step in, with the same unreadable expressions. I don't say anything for a moment, to which they all ask again,  **_“Can you protect me?”_ ** They take another intimidating, synchronized step closer again, closing me in the center of their circle.  _ This is claustrophobic, and I am not a fan. _

“I will try! I will, I swear it!” I cry, but as I turn in the circle Lance's hand shoots out and grabs my throat. I gasp as his black flames for eyes bear into mine, incinerating right into my soul as he speaks,  **_“Trying isn't good enough. Either you will, or you won't, so what will you do?”_ ** I blink as Lance's unnerving voice sends shivers down my spine.  _ I can’t let fear stop me. This may be real but the stakes are no less. _

I set my jaw to block out the fear, speaking with a candid shake in my voice, “No, I cannot promise I will always protect you. I'm only human.” I murmur in a low voice, looking into Lance’s burning flames as I my voice wavers, “But I will do everything,  _ everything _ , to protect you. I promise.”

Lance's expression is unchanging, and for a frightening moment I wonder if I said the wrong thing, if I should backtrack and promise anyway, when suddenly his form dissipates into smoke just like before with my parents,but not the same black smoke as before. It's more gray, opaque and wispy. I take a step back as each of the others vanish into the same smoke, swirling into one another to assemble in one cluster before the smoke races and engulfs me. I blink furiously to try and see through it as more voices, louder and clearer call out to me. I hear my name, shrieking in terror and the sounds of more terrified cries of people dying. I gasp when a child’s terrified voice wails in my ear and warmth spreads on my hands, my arms. I look down and see my hands are covered,  _ coated  _ in blood, like I stuck my hands in a vat of it. I whirl towards the sound as more voices chorus, calling out to me in various tones of desperation, and as I practically stumble at the cacophony the voices abruptly cut out as the smoke once again suddenly peels away, moving directly to my left and to my right. I wait with baited breath as the smoke takes on new forms, looking down at my hands, now clear of any signs of blood.  _ I don’t know if I should be relieved that the voices are gone or that the next task is at hand.  _ I watch as four figures appear, two a yard to my left, and two a yard to my right, with one person on their knees and another standing behind them, facing me. Slowly, their faces form.

Keith is on his knees to my right, with his hands behind his back. He struggles as a humanoid, nothing but a shadow, is holding a knife to his throat, which seems to be the only thing holding Keith back from fighting back. To my left is Conner, with another shadow pressing a knife against his throat, but unlike Keith he isn’t struggling. He looks rather despondent, actually, his glasses crooked and teetering to the side as he looks at me with a defeated gaze . The shadows watch me with unyielding red and black flame before they speak in unison,  **_“Choose.”_ **

"What? No, you... let them go!" I yell, and as I flicker my gaze between the two I take a step towards the one holding Conner. I hear Keith gasp behind me, and I freeze on my tracks and look back to see the knife digging into his throat. Blood is beginning to drip down and soaking into his black shirt, but it doesn’t look too serious; it’s just a warning. I snarl and move instead towards him only to hear Conner whimper in pain behind me, and when I freeze and whirl towards him with wide eyes and see a similar, minor wound in his neck, blood decorating the edge of the shadow's blade. 

_ As soon as I moved towards one... the other will die. The ultimate test.  _

_ What the fuck am I trying to prove? _

**_“Choose.”_ ** The shadows repeat in a monotonous, careless voice. 

Keith struggles in their grasp, snarling as he calls into the empty space, “Go to your friend, Will!” His voice echoes in the room as the blood soaks into his shirt, but this doesn’t seem to deter him as his violet gaze bores into mine, “You don't even know me, you shouldn't choose a stranger over your best friend!”

“What's the point of living anyway?” Conner murmurs in response with a hitch, and when I turn to face him with wide eyes I see his voice cracked due to the knife pressing closer to his throat, but his gaze is unnaturally calm, “You know no one back home will miss me. Let me do this one good thing, won’t you?”

I gasp a ragged breath, turning from side to side before shaking my head fiercely, “No, no, you can't make me choose! This isn't right!”

**_“Choose, or they both die.”_ ** The unison voices of the shadows rings, both of them press their knives closer to Keith and Conner's throats. I close my eyes as they both cry out in unison, and I can hear in the soundless space the blood dripping to the floor from their knives. My hands clench into fists, tears stinging  as I struggle to breathe.

_ No, no, no, this can't be happening, this is an impossible decision. I can’t, no, I  _ **_won’t_ ** _ choose. I’m not playing this game! _

I feel something clenched in the palm of my hand.

I blink the tears from my eyes as my breath hitches, and slowly I peer down at my palm. It’s a smooth, white stone, no bigger than a river rock, smoothed and polished like a paperweight. An idea forms as my gaze lifts to Conner, sad, and hopeless, and then Keith as he strains against the shadow's hold on him.

_ I will not play your games. _

I raise my arm and sling the rock as hard as I can at the shadow holding Conner, and before I can see if it landed I whirl around and flying-tackle the shadow holding Keith. We collide with a loud  _ thump _ , and as we fall I wrest the knife from their grip. Without taking a breath I whirl around and throw the knife with complete abandon at the shadow that held Conner as they stumble from where I struck them with the rock, they already are holding up their knife ready to impale him in the back. Hoping the knife I threw will at least distract them, I leap to my feet to tackle him, adrenaline coursing through my veins but as soon as I’m on my feet I see it’s unnecessary; by some miracle, my thrown knife hit its mark, thudding into the shadow's skull with a sickening  _ shluck _ . The shadow chokes, and I stand upright with wide eyes in between the two shadows as it falls to the ground with a bloodless cry.

I catch my breath, touching my chest with my hand in joy.  _ That fucking worked. I can’t fucking believe that worked-  _

Suddenly the shadow I tackled behind me wraps an arm around my neck in a choke hold. I gasp and struggle to break free, but the harder I struggle the less air I'm able to fight into my lungs as they press their forearm against my throat. A sharp pain strikes up my back as the shadow kicks the back of my legs and forces me to my knees, holding me with both arms and choking the life out of me. I grab at their arms desperately but it’s useless, black spots are already dancing before my eyes as a shadow passes over my eyes. I look up at Keith and Connor, their eyes are now the black and crimson flame as the rest as they speak in the same monotonous tone as the shadows,  **_“Who do you choose?”_ **

I shake my head, clawing at my captor's arms to no avail as I spit out the words as best I can, “I... won't- choose! I chose- you... both!” I begin to get tunnel vision, and all I can see is the crimson and black flame in Keith and Conner's eyes. 

_ This is it. I failed. _

The pressure around my throat vanishes like a flip of the switch. I gasp for air, collapsing onto my forearms and coughing for air as the shadows, Keith, and Connor morph into silver-gray smoke, more like a fog than smoke any longer. My head pounds as I fight oxygen into my lungs, the fog swirling around me and clouding my vision like I'm caught in a fire. As soon as I could breathe again, I hear a ringing noise in my ear. Voices from the fog, softer, less desperate, but now I can clearly hear their words. 

I hear my mom, speaking to my dad, “You know we can’t, what about Will's nightmares?” I turn to find her voice, but it gives way to Mr. Roads’, spitting, “That Lancaster is good for nothing and you know it, why else would he not want to go to the space program? They offered him a slot and everything! Only a true idiot would turn down such an opportunity, and then to spit in the face of it he takes a sophomore year class, for  _ fun _ no less!” I curl my lip in anger, and another voice, unfamiliar to me snickers to my left, “Oh, didn't you hear? He's a fag  _ and _ a tranny.” I can't help but flinch at the slurs, shaking my head as a chorus of hideous laughter echoes in the fog. 

_ That’s what they want. They want me to get angry.  _

_ I never like giving people what they want. _

I take a deep breath, releasing the pressure in my shoulder as I close my eyes. “Oh please, you can't hurt me more than I already hurt myself.” I murmur under my breath in a teasing manner but deep in me I know it’s not really a joke.  _ But now’s not the time. Keep a level head.  _ As soon as the words leave my lips the voices reverberating around me immediately cease. I continue, wanting to keep it that way, “Words are words, and I don't care what anyone has to say about me so long as I'm true to myself.” I whisper under my breath, but as soon as there’s a beat of silence the fog withdraws, swaying away in a leisurely fashion. The fog condenses a few feet away into a single figure, a familiar figure, and I feel my heart freeze.

Damien.

He smiles charmingly at me, and my entire body tenses from my place on the floor. He strides forward, always with the exceeding confidence, “Will!” He purrs, vile, and I seize as he comes forward and holds out a hand to help me up.  _ He doesn’t have the black flame in his eyes.  _

_ No. You're dead. No. No. No. This can’t be real. _

I stare at his hand, afraid to touch him, and I frantically search for any sign of that black and red flame behind his eyes like all the others had, but he doesn't wait for me to digest his presence as he grabs my wrist anyway and hauls me to my feet. I stumble and he pulls me against his chest, into a tight hug. He smells just the same, he's warm and comforting just like before, but he can’t be real. I furrow my eyebrows and I flounder to think of something to say, anything, but I can’t. He's warm, he's comforting, he’s... Damien.

But that Damien was a lie. So too is this one.

When he releases me I turn my head away so I don’t have to look at him, but he grabs my chin and forces me to meet his icy blue eyes anyway. My breath catches, and as I examine him I see no trace of any sort of flame in his eyes, they’re  _ his _ eyes, I’ve seen them a thousand times before, there is no flame.  _ Why is there no flame? _

He clicks his tongue at me, “Aww, look at you, playing the big space explorer! Savior of the world, now are you? When will your head ever get out of the clouds?” He caresses my cheek and I feel myself pulling away at the touch, curling my lip before I can tear my face from his grip. I can feel that I’m shaking, but I know this isn’t real, this can’t be real, he is dead... but the fear isn't easy to beat.

“No.. You have... no power over me.” I state through grit teeth, a little unconvincingly, at him. He stares at me with a dark look passing over his face, a face I recognize, and immediately I close my eyes, ready to accept an inevitable blow.  _ Why am I here. I’m here to pilot the White Lion. Damien is dead, he died years ago, he isn’t real, he can’t be real. I can’t focus on this, this isn’t why I’m here. I need to pilot the White Lion so I can defend my home, my friends, my family. I’ll try my damnest to be the pilot the universe needs. _

“Hmm, sure. That's fine.” I blink in shock, turning to look at Damien with wide, confused eyes. He turns his back on me, something he’s never done in my dreams… Something he’d never do. Damien would’ve argued with me, hit me, grabbed me and made me look him in the eye and rattled me until I gave in, but he would never have just let me disagree with him like that. Even without the flame in his eyes I know this isn’t the true Damien, and this fills me with some form of confidence.

A new figure appears out of foggy smoke a short distance away, a boy I’d never seen or met before. He looks remarkably similar to me, he's also a ginger, he's wearing the same clothes, but that’s where the similarities end, his freckles cover his whole face and his eyes are green. He looks up at Damien with wide, innocent, even lovesick eyes, and Damien wraps an arm around his waist. Damien turns to face me with a sneer, “I don't need you anymore. You're easily replaceable.” Without another word he turns to the stranger and kisses him, without warning, and they seemed to respond with a happy noise to kiss him back. 

_ Oh. _

_ That's much more in character for him.  _

My stomach twists at the sight, and my hands curl into fists.  _ No. I’m not gonna sit by and allow this fucking… hatred, this mar on my life to hurt anyone else. _

I stride forward without thinking, projecting forward and with all the strength I can must I shove Damien as hard as I can away from the red haired boy. Damien falls, hard, and the stranger gasps in shock as he takes a scared step away, but I stop paying attention to him, he isn’t my true concern. I stand between him and Damien, and I have to fight to keep my voice from shaking, “Leave him alone.”

Damien sits up with a shocked look, and I see the tangible rage emanating from his body, something that strikes the truest fear I’ve felt in a long time as his gaze bores into me, “What did you say to me?”

I struggle to speak, my breath stalls in my throat as I stare at Damien with wide eyes, but he doesn’t move to stand up, yet. Slowly I swallow on the dried horror in my throat as my voice shakes, seizing the moment while I have the high ground, “I said... No.” 

Damien stares me down as he rises to his feet with the slow certainty of an executioner. I dig deep to the reservoirs of courage somewhere buried inside me to keep from retreating as he takes a step towards me, glowering down at me with his eyes narrowed into slivers of ice. I take a shaky breath and stare him down, forcing the words out before my jaw inevitably clams up, “I will never let you hurt someone else... like you hurt me.”

For a long tense second everything is still, and before I can react Damien breaks into a grin, and laughs.  _ Laughs. _ It’s a cold, familiar laugh that sent spikes of fear down my spine as he takes another step closer to me, he’s close enough to punch, and I fight to remain still instead of taking a step back, or running. He coos in a sickeningly sweet tone as he regards me with a playful look, “That's cute. You're really cute when you’re mad, you know, always have been.” He looks down at his hands before he glances behind me, no doubt at the stranger he was kissing not two seconds ago before he smirks at me, “I'll be happy to let him go.. if you take his place.”

I give him an incredulous look, yet nonetheless I feel my blood run like an icy river, “What?”

“Take me back, or leave.” Damien states firmly, his expression hard as a diamond as he crosses his arms, “You wanna protect that random brat so badly, take me back, or you can slink back to your fantasy world and never come back out, like you've always wanted.” Damien's voice curdles my blood, my gaze falling to the nonexistent floor as he snarls, “So, answer me!”

“I will never love you again.” I spit back, boring holes of fire into his skull with my gaze as the words shake my entire being, “I'll take his place, I'd... take you back. But, I will  _ never _ love you again.”

Damien doesn't move, and for a horrifying moment, all is still. 

Suddenly, he melts, vanishing into the smoke that is no longer pitch black or gray but silvery, like snow. I turn around to the boy to see him disintegrating as well, his expression peaceful, like his essence is being blown into the white and silver breeze. I let out a breath of relief as the snowy smoke circles me slowly, like the gentle wrap of a blanket. I run my fingers through the mist, and I feel a warm, comforting presence engulfing me, apologetic, encouraging, gentle. The mist encloses around me like a cocoon, and I feel a second heartbeat radiate outward until it plunges into my skin, deep down into my chest. It isn't overwhelming, like before, but it is strong, comforting, and powerful. Thankful and kind. The White Lion… 

**_Come to me._ **

\---

I open my eyes and see darkness, complete and total. As my vision adjusts, I realize there is someone standing in front of… no, over me. I reach forward and my hand touches a hard surface, like glass, and I see the glint of dark hued eyes, shining wide and worried just beneath my touch. Suddenly, the darkness is broken as the carvings in the room flare with a soft glow, illuminating the cave and I'm able to see again.

“Will! Will, are you okay?” It takes me a dazed second as I hear Keith speaking into his earpiece, as well as a response, another voice, but it's drowned out by the pounding in my skull. I realize that I have my hand resting on his visor, and that he is holding my wrist and talking to me, saying my name? “Can you sit up?”

I let out a soft breath, and slowly I follow his command. Keith's hand rests between my shoulder blades in support as the cave swims before my eyes. With a loud crack, like thunder, we both whirl around behind us as the rune on the wall, the crescent moon, break in half. We watch as the crack rises up the wall, and the wall parts to reveal a small tunnel, leading deeper into the cave. I take a shaky breath and look off to the side, I realize now that Keith is kneeling beside me, his hand on my back is rubbing circles against the suit as I try to piece together what happened. Where… the White Lion, where is she? Where did she go? The smoke, the mist, it...

_ All that… it must have been a test. To see if I was worthy.  _

I stare ahead at the open tunnel that lie beyond. 

_ Does this mean I passed? _

_ Or that there are more to come? _

“What happened right there?” I ask in a soft voice, touching my helmet as I wish for something to cold to press against my head, and some water, actually.  _ God, I'm fucking thirsty. _

“You... collapsed. I thought you.. you were so pale.” Keith mumbles, his eyebrows furrowed with a look I can’t quite discern. I can’t help it, I'm uncomfortable, so I have to make a joke, “I'm a ginger, Keith, I'm supposed to be pale.”

“No, yeah, but like, unnaturally so, and you were mumbling stuff, weird stuff, and then you got really quiet and I thought that was... it.” He answers, his hand sliding from my back to grip my arm, “What happened to you?”

I furrow my eyebrows, and I grumble without thinking, “I'm fine. I don't need you to baby me-”

Keith doesn’t even let me finish, his grip on my arm tightening a little as he growls, “I thought that you were dead, and you haven't stopped shaking since we stepped foot here! I think I have every right to be freaked out!”

I look at Keith with wide eyes, and Keith blinks back at me with equal surprise. He seems to realize that he's gripping me and releases my arm, and like a wave I’m slammed with guilt. I reach out and touch his withdrawing hand, bringing his attention back to me, “No, you're right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have accused you like that. Don't apologize for giving a shit, I should be thanking you.” I murmur, holding his hand tightly to keep him from withdrawing. 

Keith frowns a little down at my hand, and quickly I retract it, instead turning to face the new tunnel into the cave. I turn away, facing the new tunnel in the cave, “Alright, good bonding moment, let's keep going." I rest a hand on the dusted ground to get up, and that's when I realize that I'm holding something. Something clasped in my fist.

I glance down at my hand in confusion, and open my fingers. 

It’s the same white stone I held in my hand as when I was in the vision, the one I threw to save Conner. I blink stupidly at it and watch as the stone begins to shrink down, going from being as large as the palm of my hand to about the size of the head of a spoon, and as I let out a soft noise of shock a chain materializes with a soft glow, looping around the stone in a decorative pattern. It ends with a clasp on the end and a dim, silvery light within the now-pendant flickers, and I can faintly hear a purr in my chest as the pulsing light dies. 

_ Whoa. _

“Where'd that come from?” Keith pipes up beside me, and I nearly jump out of my skin as I’d all but forgot he's here. 

I hold up the pendant for him to see, “Not sure… I saw it in that weird… thing. But frankly, I'm not really trying to find explanations for all the crazy shit that's happening anymore.” I shrug nonchalantly. Luckily, whatever gross feeling I had seems to have passed, so with this newfound ability to be an operating human, I stride ahead into the tunnel leading deeper into the cave, struggling with the zero gravity the whole damn way. I grip the pendant in my hand, unsure of what to do with it as of yet, but I don't feel right putting it on. _ Alright, now, what the fuck is that? _

As we walk through, Keith speaks again, in a soft tone, “So, what happened to you? What did you see?”

An immediate shiver runs up my spine. I remember the shadows of crimson and violet flame, the hurt deep in my chest, how real Damien's touch felt, warm and comforting, but… I blink and mentally try to shake it off.  _ Get over it, Will. He's dead. _

“... I saw the White Lion. It was an actual lion, though, not the mechanical one like Lance's.” I answer in a low tone, and I feel my gaze following the darkness of the hall. As we go through, more lights flicker on, more constellations, with each step we take, like they’re following us. 

“It.. tested me, like Allura said it would.” I continue, but before I can continue my voice seizes in my throat. Keith raises an eyebrow at me in concern and I take a shallow breath, recovering any semblance of normalcy as I glance over at him, “If it's okay, I'd prefer to leave it at that.” 

Keith's gaze is confused, but he doesn't press me, thankfully, as we delve deeper below the moon’s surface. “Well, it looks like you passed.” Keith glances around the tunnel walls. As we continue onward the small white lights begin to flicker past us and on ahead, lighting our path like stars to guide us. I rest my hand on the wall, and the lights seemed to brighten for a moment in response, “This is all completely crazy, but... it's beautiful.” I murmur.

I hear Keith laugh behind me, “Don't suppose you got a concussion, did you?”

I roll my eyes at him with a laugh, “I don't know, why don't I give you one and you can tell me?” I tease with a lopsided grin, before quickly adding with a wave of my hand, “I'd never actually hit you, though! That would be terrible of me!”

Keith chuckles softly, “Your threats are lacking.” 

We turn a corner in the winding tunnel, and a soft glow emanates at the end of the dark tunnel. We glance at each other when we spot it, and our pace quickens.

We walk into a beautiful cave, the likes of which I have never seen. The walls were dotted with the little white lights into stars, thousands of alien constellations, and in the center of the spherical dome is the White Lion. 

It looks just like Lance's, at least 3-4 stories high, and it's surrounded by the same force-field. The only difference was this lion's metal was entirely white, as is its barrier. 

_ Surprise surprise. _

“Well, we found it.” I murmur. As soon as I step towards the lion it’s barrier immediately falls, as if on queue. The lion creaks, and we take quick step back as the lion moves. It kneels down before Keith and I and opens its massive maw, just like the Blue Lion had, and another ramp unfurls from its mouth before it grows still once more. I glance over at Keith with a raised eyebrow. He shrugs back at me with a  _ ‘well, ok then’ _ expression.

“Alright, first part done, now let's see if I can actually fly this thing.” I huff, furrowing my eyebrows as I walk up the ramp into the lion's mouth, a doorway opening next to the massive cannon-looking thing in the back of the lion's throat, just like in Lance's lion.

I enter the door and inside are pearly stairs spiraling up at a gradual slope, with silvery walls that glimmered like they’re made of diamonds. I ascend the stairs, Keith right behind me, and we enter what appears to be the control room, with one pilot’s seat in the center. There is a wide dashboard looking thing around it, but there doesn’t appear to be any power, as the room is dark. I slowly approach in the white, leathery seat after a pause, and as soon as I sit the seat slides forward. I yelp and hang onto the seat as control rods, like Lance's, pop up in front of me, and with a whirr the dashboards all around me flash white, silvery holographic screens roaring to life. I feel the lion purring in my chest, almost in welcome, as hundreds of words pop up, buttons, switches, bars... The lion shifts beneath me, standing upright, and I feel Keith's hand on the back of my seat as he steadies himself. I look down at the stone pendant I’m still holding, which seems to be glowing softly in my palm…  or perhaps it’s just the lighting? Moved by something I can’t quite explain, I slip the chain around my neck. Immediate warmth spreads through my veins, like when you get back into bed after being at school all day.

I feel a surge in my chest, like nothing I have ever experienced, as a series of images flash across my vision. The hundreds of words on the holographic panels fade, as my lion shows me the buttons, ‘Engage Thrusters’ and ‘Movement’. I look down at the corresponding controls as the images pass, and for a moment I feel... confident. I know what to do.

“Okay, that's helpful.” I mumble, “Let's try this out.” Cautiously I rest my hands on the controls.

The second pulse in my chest flares, it’s consistent now and unceasing. I press forward on the controls without thought and the White Lion responds immediately, massive, mighty paws springing forward, and clawing through the rock like it’s made of putty. We emerge into open space, white and gray rocks spiral out of the way as I engage the White Lion's thrusters, its hum reverberating in my bones; it feels natural, it’s like getting up and running after being sick, bedridden for days. I can’t contain myself: I let out a victorious yell, the Lion and I moving in sync as we fly in a loop around the Moon.

I have never felt so… empowered, so alive, the second heartbeat in my chest supporting my own and weaving in sync with one another. This is right, this is where I’m meant to be.

“Alright, when you're done showing off, let's get back to the pod and take the wormhole back to Allura.” Keith grumbles, but his tone is amused. Allura’s voice echoes in our ear, almost immediately as if she heard her being mentioned, “Paladins, get back to the wormholes quickly! I can't hold it open much longer!”

“Okay, okay, spoil-sport.” I grin wickedly at Keith, who merely smirks back at me in response as I direct the Lion back hence we came. I spot our pod resting on the Moon's surface, and I see our footsteps leading to the now broken and craggy hole where I burst out of, and I let out a breath, “Hey Keith?” I say, as a series of images emerge. The White Lion’s showing me how to use her claws.

“Hmm?” He hums, and I carefully sweep the pod that took us here in the Lion's claws, which is surprisingly harder than I thought it would be, like one of those rigged claw games, but luckily I manage to get grab it without either breaking it nor dropping it, so I consider that a victory. I look up into the abyssal space before us, behind the moon is the wormhole we came in through. It’s wavering a little, and as I press the White Lion in that direction as I allow myself to smile, “Thanks. For believing in me. I didn't think I could do it but…”

Keith cut me off with a pat on my shoulder, “Don't worry about it.” I look down at the controls, the smile across my face brightening as we enter the wormhole.

Perhaps... I can be the White Paladin after all.

\---

When we arrive back at the castle, the White Lion shows me where to go to get to its hanger, in the main pillar in the center of the castle grounds. As if it sensed our approach a massive door, the perfect size for a lion, opens. It... she... soars through, and I engage the thrusters to slow our descent into the hanger. It seems that the longer I sit in this seat the deeper the understanding I get from being near the White Lion. She doesn’t speak to me, per-say, but she shows me her controls through something like a mental slide show, what does what, and somehow by some miracle her controls are in English: Tail beam, Maw beam, Claws. We come to a stop in a huge chamber, the perfect size to house the Lion, and I feel a sense of belonging; we've found our new home base. 

This sure is a whole lot easier than what I was anticipating, it helps that working the controls feels second nature, like running.

I let out a breath of relief, my mind trailing back to our journey and I shudder remembering the tests.  _ Tests that allowed me to be here now, to understand her now. _ I lay a hand on the White Lion's control panel, “Jesus. I get we are supposed to have a deep connection and all, but please don't go doing that to me again.” She doesn’t deem a response, not like I’m expecting her to. I stand up and glance at Keith's raised eyebrow only briefly before I head down the stairs without another word.

She kneels to allow us to disembark, and once we leave she returns to her upright, sitting position. The golden glow in her eyes fading as her barrier erects itself around her. Naptime.

“Well, alright, that's one down.” I state, looking up at her for a moment before I turn to Keith, “Allura didn't mention anything about the Red Lion?”

Keith shakes his head, “No. She was busy preparing some machine when I told her that you…” He abruptly pauses mid-sentence, his gaze quickly averting from mine like he just was caught telling a lie. I narrow my eyes suspiciously.

“You told her what?”

Keith takes off his helmet, and then rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably, “That I thought you were injured, or something. You were out for at least an hour.” Keith finally meets my gaze, yet he's guarding his expression expertly, “I tried to get you out of there, but when I picked you up the room flashed really bright, and I heard this weird… I don't know,  _ something _ was telling me to not disturb you.” I raise an eyebrow at this, watching Keith curiously but his gaze is unyielding. His hair curls up by his shoulders in the back, tousled no doubt from the helmet, I can't even imagine what mine is gonna look like when I take this helmet off.

“... Thank you.” 

Keith blinks in surprise, obviously not expecting that as he raises his eyebrow, “For what?”

I shrug, bumping his shoulder with mine as I decide to bite the worry, taking off my helmet and running my fingers through my hair to tame the red curls, “Well, if I really was injured... I'm glad I had someone there to watch out for me.” Keith merely blinks at me stupidly, and I shake my head to get my hair out of my eyes as I turn to leave the hanger. Keith didn't move to follow, and I pause at the door that leads back inside the castle to look at him with a raised eyebrow, “You coming?” Keith meets my gaze, he’s giving me a look I can’t quite discern but it vanishes like a wiped slate as he nods, and moves to catch up to me. 

We walk out of the White Lion's hanger, and back into the castle. It takes us a bit to find our way to the control room, but once we find the pod bay we quickly figure out our way back, retracing our steps. When we arrive Allura and Coran are still at their stations, with Pidge and Shiro standing together by Allura in her circle. Lance and Hunk haven't returned yet.

“Will! I heard you were injured, are you alright?” Allura whirls around to us as soon as we enter the room, stopping whatever task she was up to with a worried gaze. 

I quickly nod as I swallow the lump in my throat, “Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.” I turn my gaze to Pidge with curiosity, eager to move on to thinking about literally anything else, “Did you get the Green Lion?”

Pidge flashes me a grin, “Sure did! It was... actually really easy. The planet's inhabitants took us to where the Lion was, and it was just pretty cool.” Pidge smiles at Shiro, who smiles immediately back at him.  _ It’s nice to see some team bonding, as Shiro would say. _

“What about you? Apparently it wasn't as easy as we had it.” I turn to look at Shiro, who I could see is examining me for any signs of injury as he questions me.  _ Trying to interrogate me. Quick look relaxed.  _ I shrug, holding my helmet under my arm while leaning on one foot.  _ Just so he doesn't think I'm being suspicious. _

“It wasn't bad, no evil aliens or anything.” I answer with a confident grin, I can feel Keith's gaze worming into my skin but I do my best to ignore it. I start when little moon-rock hanging around my neck twitches and I glance down at it curiously but it appears motionless, like nothing at all happened. _What is this thing? Why do I still have it?_ _Perhaps as a trophy, a sign that I passed the test? But isn't piloting the White Lion already a testament to that, though?_

Suddenly, the doors behind us open and Hunk and Lance burst into the room. They both groan in pain as they rub their arms and shoulders, like they just had a rough workout. I raise an eyebrow in amusement as I watch them stumble in.

“You made it!” Allura beams, her hands clasped together as Lance rolls his shoulder with a rather loud crack.

“Yeah, just barely, that was a nightmare! I almost puked out there, there were so many Galra!” Lance straightens, his hands speaking animatedly with a dramatic pout, “I felt like Hunk!”

Hunk scowls, “How do you think I felt? I  _ am _ Hunk.” 

I snicker under my breath as Pidge grins, “Yeah... we had a tough time too.” He smiles like a kid after planting a whoopie cushion on a teacher's chair at Shiro, who grins back at him just as enthusiastically.

After the second of bonding, Shiro turns to face Allura, “Did we find the Red Lion, yet?”

Allura steps into the center of the white circle in the middle of the room, the mini pedestals rising to meet her palms as Coran answers, “Yes, Allura just located it! There's a bit of good news, and a bit of bad news.” Coran twirls his mustache, which seemed to be a habit of his, “The good news is that the Red Lion is nearby!” Corain's mustache smacks into place as he releases it, his face falling as he continues, “The bad news is, it's on that Galra ship that is orbiting Arus.” Coran brightens up, his hands resting on his hips, “But wait, good news again, we are Arus!”

Shiro's eyes widens, and he takes a step forward, "Wait, they're here already?!"

Coran smiles sheepishly, his gaze cast to the side, “Yes. It appears my calculations were a bit off. Finger counting, it's a bit more of an art rather than a science” 

Suddenly, the hologram projection at the front of the ship begins to give very loud feedback, making the system shudder audibly. We all turn our attention to it when all of a sudden an alien face appears.

A glowing yellow eye with a black serpentine pupil stares out at us among a field of light purple, short fur. They have large, fluffy ears, just out to the side of the alien's head, curving with their jaw and cheekbones as if its a part of their facial structure. The alien has a red monocle, or at least what looks like a monocle, or a military scope over their right eye. They fix us with a ferocious gaze, or perhaps it’s just the creepiness of the thin, catlike pupil, as they speak in a dark, commanding tone.

“Princess Allura, this is Commander Sendak of the Galra Empire. I come on behalf of Emperor Zarkon, Lord of the Known Universe. I am here to confiscate the Lions. Turn them over to me, or I will destroy your planet.” The alien speaks rapid fire, not stopping even to breathe. Without another word, the video cuts, and we’re alone in the control room.

A shiver run up my spin.  _ That alien, Commander Sendak, is Galra. He just gave the shortest, more curt, yet most terrifying ultimatum. I don’t know what I expected from an alien race that’s taking over the known universe, but I guess I wasn't expecting it to be like this. Holy fuck, how can he destroy an entire fucking planet?! _

We’re silent for several seconds, in shock, before Shiro speaks in a calm tone, “Alright, let's not panic.”

“Not panic?” Hunk interjects, his hands anxiously worrying his ribbon strands as he begins to pace the room, “The scary purple alien thingy is driving his battleship toward us! We only have five lions...!”

Pidge interrupts, his arms crossed, “Technically, only four  _ working _ lions.”

Hunk nods, resting a hand on Pidge's shoulder, “That's right, thank you Pidge-  _ four _ working lions, and a castle that's, like, a thousand years old!”

Coran interrupts this time, holding up a factual finger, “Actually, it’s a thousand and six hundred years old! You see, it was built by my grandfather…” He begins to twirl his mustache again, but thankfully Hunk is not having any of it as he's a little busy worrying, “Thanks, Coran, thanks, thanks for that.” He presses a finger over Coran's mouth, who flushes deep red and seems ready to smack the shit out of Hunk as he turns to face Shiro to construct his conclusion, “So, now is the  _ perfect  _ time to panic!”

“Wait!” Allura snaps, her eyes wide as she stares at the holographic panel before her where she rests her hands the pillars, her controls I figure, “This castle has a particle barrier that we can activate!”

Lance, ever the opportunist, crosses his arms and smirks, “Girl, you've already activated my particle-”

_ “Lance.” _ Shiro warns, his gaze narrowing at Lance as he sheepishly looks away, rubbing the back of his neck as I struggle not to die from laughing, even having to clap a hand over my mouth. Even despite the situation, I appreciate a good sex/dick joke.

Coran turns, typing away on a holographic screen and pulling up the outlook of the Galra ship, from what I could tell, as it looked damn near exactly like the ship that appeared back when we were on Earth. One part flashes red, it looks like a massive spork on the top of the ship, “The particle barrier won't hold off against Sendak's ion cannon forever.” Coran touches his chin thoughtfully, his eyebrow raised in curiosity, “The Galra technology must have advanced since we fought them last.”

Hunk looks over at Shiro with the opposite of a hopeful look, tentatively asking, “Panic now?”

Shiro shakes his head sternly, “No, we just have to figure out our plan of action, and figure it out quickly.”

Lance speaks up, waving his hands wildly, “I say we pop through a wormhole and live to fight another day.” 

Hunk nods immediately, moving to stand next to Lance, “I second that, yes. We tried to find all the lions, right? We gave it the old college try, couldn't do it, we only have four, we can't form Voltron. Well.. I guess we could form a snake? Or a worm?” Hunk touches his chin pensively. I sigh, closing my eyes with my hand clenched around the White Lion's stone as I tune out the din to think.

_ These lions, even if they can't form Voltron, are still capable. Lance alone, after spending two minutes in the Blue Lion was able to steer that Galra ship away from Earth. If we had four, even if it can't form Voltron, they are something, something powerful and a force to be reckoned with. Besides, they have the Red Lion, we can't let them hold onto a weapon that formidable. If we can manage to get in and get the Red Lion for Keith too, we'll be able to form Voltron and take them down that way. Guess the trick is, how do we get Keith inside? _

“We can't just abandon Arus!” Pidge breaks my line of thought, his expression determined, “The Galra will keep destroying planets and capturing prisoners until we stop them!”

“Okay,” Hunk restarts, his eyebrows knit together in worry as he speaks directly to Pidge, “If we run, then maybe Sendak will follow us and leave this planet alone, like what we did on Earth? We form the snake-worm thingy-ma-jig and…”

I shake my head, “You can't know that he'll fall for that! Listen, we have four working lions, you saw what Lance could do with one after being inside of it for two minutes!” I gesture to him vaguely, setting my jaw in determination as Lance merely huffs in response, “I think we can manage to at least distract it, we’re small and hard to hit! And, don’t forget, we need the Red Lion! We can't just let them keep it!”

Keith nods in agreement, his arms crossed as he weighs his two cents, “Besides, Sendak could destroy the planet then come after us, anyway. Staying is our only option!”

Lance snaps at him, pointing an accusing finger, “Here's an option:  _ shut your quiznak! _ ” Allura and Coran both immediately gasp in horror: obviously he started picking up on Altean swear words pretty quick.

Keith glares Lance down, grumbling with his fists clenched, “I don't think you're using that word correctly.”

“What do you know,  _ mullet _ ?” Lance snaps back derisively at Keith, getting in his face with narrowed eyes. 

Keith matches his intensity in expression, getting into his face in turn and growling back, “We're staying.”

“Leaving!” Lance shouts back, his fists clenched, and Pidge piles on with a stressed, “Staying!” Hunk pipes up helpfully, “Snake!”

“Guys, stop.” Shiro snaps, and they all quickly shut up as his pleading gaze fixes on Allura, “Princess Allura, these are your lions. You've dealt with the Galra Empire before. You know what we are facing better than any of us. What do you think is the best course of action?”

Allura's expression is distraught, watching us with wide eyes and I wonder what it is that she sees. I turn and examine each of us, and I realize I needn't wonder at all; she sees a bunch of hot-headed teenagers who don't know shit, who can’t stay unified for a damn second before they get at each other's throats faster than the Galra can.  **_We_ ** _ are supposed to be Voltron? What if we can't even guard this planet from one Galra ship? _

“I.. I don't know.” Allura speaks in a small voice, her eyes cast down as she wrings her hands in the fabric of her dress. 

Coran speaks up, moving to stand beside her with a gentle tone, “Perhaps your father can help.”

Allura's eyes widens, turning to fully face Coran, “My father?”

Coran waves his hand for her to follow, and we all watch them leave without so much as a word. I glance around at the others, and immediately Hunk turns towards Keith and Pidge, speaking in a softer register, no doubt to convince them to leave. Beside me Lance seems to notice this and steps forward to join, but before he can I grab his shoulder. He looks over at me with a raised eyebrow as I meet his gaze evenly.

“Hey, Lance, can you not antagonize the others on the team, for like, five minutes?” I ask, giving him an accusatory look as he shoots a glare back at me.

“What? I'm not antagonizing anyone!” He argues, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets and staring me down with furrowed eyebrows.  _ That’s convincing. _

I sigh, releasing him as I speak in a gentler tone, “Come on, dude, what do you have against Keith? What's your issue?” I coerce, raising an eyebrow at him as the others collect around the circle in the center, where Allura usually stands, arguing among themselves in increasing volumes, I can only hear Hunk’s occasional  _ “Snake!”  _ and Shiro’s deep, rumbly voice trying to mitigate.

Lance glance at me, huffing indignantly as he snaps, “Come on, your parents are flight instructors, you have to know how competitive things get! Keith and I were rivals, like, like uh…” Lance racks his brain, and I can see the steam coming out of his ears from concentration to find a proper metaphor. 

I laugh softly, “Don’t hurt yourself.”

“I'm not!” Lance bristles like an enraged porcupine with a dignified sniff, “It's just a natural thing! The sky is blue, Keith and I are rivals. It's just how it is!”

“Well, the things you say to Keith aren't things friendly rivals say to each other, Lance.” I respond in a softer tone, avoiding accusatory language as best I can, “They kind of sound like things someone says when they're trying to.. you know, tear someone else down to bring themselves up?”

Lance picks up on what I’m implying immediately, getting in my face and shouting indignantly, “I am  _ NOT _ jealous of  _ Keith _ !”

I raise my hands in surrender, “Okay, okay, I know that, but I'm just telling you that's what it looks like.” Lance’s hackles seem to settle a little but his gaze is still angry and sharp, and I continue in the most soothing tone as I can, “Maybe you should try like... you know, not tearing him down so much. You can be rivals and still be… I don’t know, a decent human being to him, yeah?”

Before Lance can argue with me, Coran and Allura return to the room, silencing us. Allura is no longer wearing a dress, but instead white and black armor with a pink, winged symbol emblazoned on its chest, the one I recognize from the Green Lion's shield on its back. Her hair is gathered into a bun, and her gaze is fierce and determined. 

“You Paladins have been brought here for a reason.” Allura begins, striding forward with purpose that scatters our divided segments as she fixes us with a fierce stare, “The Voltron Lions are meant to be piloted by you, and you alone! We must fight, and keep fighting until we defeat Zarkon.” Allura stops in the middle of the circle in the center of the room, her gaze locked onto us with such resolution that can almost feel her confidence within me, “It is our destiny! Voltron is the universe's only hope!  _ We _ are the universe's only hope.”

Shiro steps forward after we are silent for a moment, his gaze resolute and determined on par with Allura's, “We're with you, Princess.”

Allura gives him a determined nod, and a fiery smile perks across her lips, “You will need your equipment if you are to fight. Follow me.” She marches out of the control room with such a powerful stride we part to keep out of her way before we all turn and scurry past her. As I step out, I feel something trembling within my core; the second heartbeat within me stirs uncomfortably, as if responding to the call to battle. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes and touching the stone that hangs from my neck. If nothing else, this trinket will help to ground me in the present moment rather than get distracted by all my thoughts that are already listing ways that all this could go so so wrong. I feel a little calmer after a few moments, and I open my eyes to continue following the others.

Allura leads us into a large, circular chamber with 6 columns which bear armor much like hers within. They each have the winged symbol, which I think is the symbol of Voltron, on their chest, but each had different accented colors: black, red, green, yellow, blue, and white. It didn't take a genius to find out which one’s mine as we approach our respective suits. I frown a little at the entirety of white that my armor has, and compare it to Shiro's black, or Pidge's green. _ Aww man. I'm gonna look like a walking chess pawn. _

Behind me, I hear Coran speaking in a soft tone, so soft I could barely hear, “Are you sure about this, Princess? They aren't exactly the best and brightest the universe has to offer.” I can't help being a little offended, glancing back at Coran but to no avail as he and Allura have their backs to us.

Allura replies firmly, “No... but they're all we've got.”  _ Well then, how comforting. I mean, they’re absolutely right but there’s no need to say that  _ **_now._ **

Shiro grins confidently, his hands rested on his hips as he rumbles, “Boys, it's time to suit up!”

I would figure having already put on one space suit would make a second a walk in the park, but unfortunately, it’s not. 

I've never changed in another room with other people before, and luckily I don't have to take all of my clothes off, just the suit Coran gave us before, but it's a very strange experience to all be struggling in getting our armor on in the same space.

It takes me a few minutes, but even then I can't get the arm plates on correctly. I swear softly under my breath as they stick out at an odd angle, I can't flex my arm,  _ fuck, now they’re on my forearm, that’s not right _ . I swear under my breath and rattle the annoying fuckers until a new set of hands tug firmly on the metal, pushing them into place. The hands are already donned in black gloves with red, protective plate along the wrist, and I find myself staring at Keith in his uniform as he assists me in pulling on my arm-guards.  _ He looks... good. Like, really good. _

_ Oh no.  _

Keith pulls away once my arm guards are on correctly and I quickly meet his gaze, trying not to sound suspicious as I state, “Thanks.” He brushes it off with a shrug, before he turns to give Hunk the same assistance, as he’s jumping up and down trying to get his boots on. He’s… softer than I initially expected him to be, all broody like he is; I expected sharp and oblique edges, and occasionally I notice that he has moments where he does, like when he was toe to toe with Lance, but in quiet moments, grabbing my wrist when I was shaking, and now helping with my arm guards…  _ Soft. He really helped to ground me back on the Moon. I should thank him for that later. _

After a few minutes, we’re all suited up, and while these suits look so much better than the run-of-the-mill ones that Allura gave Keith and I for our mission I still find that I’m little jealous that everyone else's armor is  _ better looking  _ than mine. The colorful accents that match the color of their lion are flattering, and even though Shiro's accents are black they still look really cool, chic. I look down at my armor and let out a breath.  _ I was right. I look like a rook. _

Once we’re finished, Allura approaches, a small, levitating table in her wake. She rests her hand on its surface, and the glass top gives away to reveal 5 handle-looking things, which levitate off of their resting place and begin to float in our direction, “The bayard is the traditional weapon of the Paladins of Voltron. It takes a distinctive shape for each Paladin.” She states as the white one, naturally, floats in my direction. I gently took hold of it, frowning down at it with a suspicious eyebrow raise.  _ Am I supposed to hit an alien with this?  _

Suddenly, the bayard comes to life, metal clinking outward and extending to be as tall as I am with a flash so quick I almost get hit in the face. On both ends are sharp blades, like knives, which makes me glad I ducked my head out of the way when it came on just in time. Once it stills I give it a few experimental swings. 

I've never been in a fight before. I mean, I’ve gotten punched and stuff, but I’ve never purposefully struck someone before. And now holding this weapon, I realize how out of my element I will be with this. It’s some kind of a martial weapon, I realize, and I’ve no clue how to use it effectively. 

_ But, once I do, I’ll be like a fucking ninja. No pessimism, stay optimistic. Bright side. _ I smile to myself and look over to see the weapons that the others have.

Hunk's bayard turns into a massive gun, a gun as large as Pidge. I can't help but pout a little at that, _that seems pretty useful_ … _but also heavy._ Keith’s turns into a sword, and as I watch him he touches the inside of his wrist and a red holographic screen pops up before him. He raises an eyebrow and taps a button, and with a soft hum a red shield appears over his left arm. It appears like the barrier that surrounds our lions, save it’s dark red and about as big as a school cafeteria tray. I blink and look down at my suit, and touch my wrist in the same place and a similar, white screen pops up. I narrow my eyes, all the words, _of course_ , are in Altean. One symbol though looks like a shield, so I press it experimentally. A white shield pops up over my left arm, just like Keith's, and I nod a little with a noise of approval as I press the button again to dismiss it. I notice that the shield symbol now has a permanent holographic button on the underside of my wrist. _That's helpful; having to scroll through a holographic menu to get a shield would be inconvenient in a fight, I think._

Back to examining the other's weapons, I watch as Lance's bayard turns into a blue rifle, like what they have at laser tag parties. Pidge grasps onto his, but it doesn't seem to transform really. It only adds a cutting edge to the front, like a fist weapon. 

I look back at my weapon, I think perhaps it’s some kind of lance, and frown. This isn't super helpful, especially since pole-arms are fucking hard to use, and I can’t really think of a situation where they’d have a leverage save on horseback or something. Wouldn’t a gun be more useful?

“Aww, you got a cute little bayard!” Lance coos, pointing at Pidge's weapon. Pidge raises an eyebrow at Lance and retaliates by smacking him in the side with the brunt edge of his bayard. A green electrical shock pulses from the weapon into Lance, and he immediately cries out and falls over, gasping in pain.

Pidge smirks at the bayard, “Yeah, it is pretty cute.”

Allura looks over apologetically at Shiro, “I'm sorry Shiro, I'm afraid your bayard was lost with its Paladin.” 

Shiro shrugs, his expression kind and nonchalant, “I guess I'll just have to make do.”

“You can have mine.” I joke, holding it out to him but Allura gives me an unamused, reprimanding look in response. Sheepishly I pull my bayard back closer to me.

“You can summon your bayard at will, and dismiss it afterwards. It is a part of your suit, so all you need to do is wave your hand by the sensors in your armor here…” Allura touches Shiro's upper thigh, where there are small blue stripes along the plated armor there, “And it will return to its position.” Without a pause, Allura then waves for us to follow her back to the bridge. 

I blink and experimentally wave my hand past the blue sensors and the bayard in my hand practically evaporates into thin air. I whistle lowly under my breath and wave my hand again for my bayard to appear in my hand once again, not as its weapon, only as its handle looking form. I practice waving my hand by my thigh to summon and dismiss my bayard, which is rather entertaining, as well as useful. I play with this new feature on our way back to the bridge.

As we walk inside Allura waves her hands and brings forth the schematics of the Galra ship from earlier, the spork part on top still highlighted in red. “Now, you'll need to retrieve the Red Lion from Sendak's ship.”

Keith furrows his eyebrows, “That's a pretty big ship, how are we going to know where the Red Lion is?”

Pidge crosses his arms, tilting his head at Keith, “Well, it’s not a matter of ‘we’, it’s a matter of ‘you’.”

Hunk nods, speaking animatedly with his hands, “Pidge is right, once we get you in, you’ll be able to  _ feel _ its presence and track it down.”

Lance grins at Keith, “Yeah! You know how you felt that crazy energy while we were in the desert?”

Keith gives Lance a deadpan expression, “Yeah, you made fun of me for that.” 

I plead internally,  _ please don't say something mean, Lance. _

Lance flashes a shit-eating grin, “And I’m proud of that, but it turns out it’s just like that mumbo-jumbo.”  _ Christ, close enough. _

Allura squares her shoulders as she addresses Keith, “Keith, remember, that the Red Lion is extremely temperamental. You will have to earn its respect.” Keith nods curtly like a soldier, his gaze set and determined. After seeing his confidence flying the pod, I have faith that if anyone could do it, it would be Keith. He's definitely a good pilot, at least, that’s something the Red Lion outta respect. 

Shiro rests a hand on Keith's shoulder for a brief moment before letting his hand drop, his gaze turning to us as he speaks, “Alright... here's our plan of attack.” He points to the holographic Galra ship along the underside, “The Galra Empire knows about the Blue and the Yellow Lion, since they saw us running from Earth first and you two had to fight them off when you went to get the Yellow Lion. But, they don't know that we have the Green and White Lion too.” Shiro’s silver-gray gaze is resolute as he flickers to each of us in turn, “Hunk, Lance, you will act as a decoy by pretending to give yourselves up. While Sendak is distracted, Pidge, Keith, and I will sneak onto the ship in the Green Lion. Keith and I will go looking for the Red Lion while Pidge guards our exit.” Shiro gestures to Hunk and Lance with two fingers, “Hunk, Lance, see if you can't take out the ion cannon. If you are unable to, we'll signal Will to take it out for us.”

I nod with determination, biting my lip, “Shiro, what do I do if Hunk and Lance manage to take out the cannon?”

Shiro crosses his arms with a stern look, “Stay here, inside the castle, and be ready in the White Lion to get the Black Lion out of its hanger once we’ve got the Red Lion. You’ll be our security measure in case something goes wrong.” I frown a little at this as Shiro pursues, “Besides, we don’t want Sendak to know that we have  _ all _ the lions unless we really have to, or he might double down on security measures to protect the Red Lion.” I open my mouth to argue but Shiro continues without pause, “Or, he'll come after us immediately once we retreat.”

I nod, a little frustration flaring in my chest, “Alright... Stay on the ground... and hide. Got it.”

Hunk shakes his head with a mystical wave of his hand, “It's not hiding, it's  _ strategically disguising _ our cards.”

I frown, crossing my arms, ‘I know, but I don’t like feeling helpless.”

Shiro nods in understanding, “I know, but we need you here until we have the Red Lion. If you emerge and they see you before we are ready, the Green Lion's cover might get blown.” Shiro murmurs, yet his voice is encouraging and firm. 

“The Black Lion can only be accessed if all the other lions are present in the hanger. Once you have all of your lions, go there and open the gate to allow Shiro to take control. Then… we’ll take the fight to Sendak.” Allura speaks evenly, her gaze is fiery and determined, and as we pause with the plan of action in mind for a moment I feel a flicker of energy between us. Synergy, maybe, a common purpose. We have far to go, but for the moment at least, we seem to be working as a team.  _ Shiro must be thriving off of it. _

After a long moment of silence, and with no further comments or questions, Allura points around the room, at the spiraling pillars that surround the command room. As if on queue, each pillar flashes a holographic symbol of Voltron in each of our 6 colors, “Each of these will take you to your respective lions. Once you have the Black Lion, you will need to form Voltron in order to defeat the battle cruiser, I fear it’s too heavily armed for us to take on with the Castle’s systems still coming back online.” Allura gives each of us a warm gaze, smiling a little as she holds a hand over her chest, “Good luck, Paladins.”  _ Almost like a farewell address. _

We turn and approach our individual pillars, which open into a small white cylinder, an elevator, that leads to our lions’ hangers.

_ God, I hope this works. _   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Thanks for reading Chapter 3! If you have any constructive criticism I would appreciate it, but again know that I know that this is a shameless self insert fic and don't care to be brought into discourse about it! 
> 
> \--tense edited as of 10/20/18--
> 
> finished 10/2/18**


	4. The Rise of Voltron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The White Paladin of Voltron, a title that Will knows must carry weight but he's not sure what that means yet, not truly. His first test comes with Commander Sendak, the first Galra he's ever seen, who attempts to break Voltron apart before it can ever form. They're the only force that can withstand Zarkon's ruthless regime, but the true test is whether or not they can form the weapon that can liberate the universe, or break it.

I hear Lance's voice echoing in the communicator in my helmet, "Pidge, what's your ETA?"

Pidge's voice responds a few seconds later, speaking in a low register like he’s whispering, "We're in!"

I anxiously pace in front of my lion while I listen to the others put their lives in danger in the atmosphere of the alien planet. I gaze up at her, her barrier is still erected so she must still resting. I continue to listen for any sign that I'm needed.  _ Be ready to go whenever that is. _

"What's that thing?!" Hunk's voice climbs with anxiety, and I nervously tap my fingertips against the White Lion's barrier.

"I think that's our signal to get out of here!" Lance yells into the head piece, and then there's silence. I dig my fingertips into my palm, and just as I resign myself to going up to check on them Lance speaks again, "Hunk, you take out the ion cannon while I give these losers a space joyride!"

I bite my lip, cursing softly under my breath, "I should be out there, Silver." I look up at the lion, wondering if she approves of her nickname that I, impromptu, have given her. She is still, and silent.   
"What the quiznak?" Hunk's voice echoes in my earpiece, and I hope that silence coming from Pidge, Keith, and Shiro meant that they're well hidden from the Galra.  _ I hope they're alright... _ "What is that, a forcefield?"

"Whoa-ho-ho, yeah, buddy! This is way more fun without Hunk's barfing!" Lance gleefully shouts into the earpiece.

There's dead silence for a long while, a  _ painfully  _ long while. Suddenly there’s a buzz, like someone's com got shorted. Worried, I tap my helmet to adjust the com, wondering if it’s the connection, until I hear rapid breathing followed by a shout. I recognize the voice immediately, his breath is rapid, like he's afraid or in pain. Immediately I cry, "Keith! Keith, are you okay?"

No one answers, and right as I whirl towards the White Lion his voice comes over the communicator, husky and out of breath, "I'm fine... I got the Red Lion." I let out a breath of relief, resting my head against the barrier surrounding my lion. It’s like listening to a thriller without actually seeing what’s going on, which is almost three times as worse.

"Come on, just  _ breaaaak _ you stupid thing!" Hunk growls into the communicator, and I can hear the whir of his lion’s mouth cannon going in the background. I bite my lip in worry, waiting for a signal that they either need help or are on their way back.  _ Please, come on, guys... _

"Score one for Hunk!" Silence.

"You guys made it!" Hunk cries, and I feel a relieved smile stretch across my face.

"Kitty Rose has left the stage!" Pidge cries confidently, and Lance answers, "Let’s get the heck out of here!"

"I hope I stopped that cannon, I think I only made a dent in it." Hunk answers. 

“Allura-” Shiro suddenly calls, his voice commanding and drawing my immediate attention, “We found a group of prisoners in the ship’s holding cells. We freed them and sent them in a pod down to the Castle.”

“Alright, I’ll go down and see to them immediately.” Coran responds swiftly.  _ Prisoners? The ship had prisoners? Who? From where? And why? And now they’re coming to the Castle? _

“Everyone to the hanger, we’ve got to get the Black Lion out before Sendak regroups.” Shiro continues without pause, barking like the seasoned commander he is.

I bite my lip as I turn and approach the White Lion, "Alright, it's our turn now."

The barrier falls as her eyes flicker to life, and she rumbles as she moves to her knees. It’s kind of a relief that she moved as soon as I spoke, because it makes me feel like I wasn’t just talking to nothing. She opens her mouth to let me inside and I climb the ramp and head up the stairs. I trail my fingers along the walls, the small lights flickering at my touch on my ascent. "Get some good rest, I hope? We've got work to do." I feel the second heartbeat flourish to life within my chest as I take my seat in the pilot's chamber, sliding forward and grasping the controls, "Time to go wake up Shiro's friend."

I guide the Lion slowly out of her chamber, and into the main room where all of our hangers meet. It’s a large space, just big enough for five lions I’d say. Each hanger has two doors, one that’s about pilot sized while the other is lion sized, all the doors color coded to the lion it houses. The White Lion and I stride forward and then sit down facing the solitary, dusty black door. Nothing over the coms. 

After a few minutes, the other lions slowly feed the room, one at a time, and sit in a half circle around me to face the last unopened hanger.

The Green Lion glides and sits next to me, kneeling down and rolling out the ramp. Below I can see Shiro as he jogs out, moving to stand before the black door. He’s so  _ tiny  _ compared to us within our lions, which is insane to me. Shiro’s one of those people who seem larger than life, even in person, so seeing him, standing as large as one of my lion’s claws, is beyond strange.

I glance to my right and left as the Yellow, the Green, the Red, and the Blue Lions settle beside me and I feel something flicker within my chest, something different than the White Lion's heartbeat. It's almost like, if I were to reach out my hand, I can tangibly feel a connection with the others and with their lions, like we’re bound together with string. Just as suddenly as I feel it, each of our lions' eyes flare a brilliant gold, even in the well lit hall, and the black door rises. 

The Black Lion is big, not as big as the Yellow and Blue Lions, but still larger than the Green and Red. It has blue accented markings on its cheekbones and massive red appendages, like half-formed wings, sprouting on its back with swathes of black across its head and back. It’s surrounded by a black and violet barrier, and as the door snaps open, all is silent for a moment as the barrier holds. Shiro moves to stand in front of it, resting a hand on the barrier and looking up into the Black Lion’s eyes, and almost immediately the Black Lion's eyes flare to life. It lifts its powerful snout, and lets loose an earth-shattering roar, its barrier falling like a ripple in a pond at the thunderous sound. Our lions all roar in response, the entire room quaking and I feel a surge within me, something I can't explain, like confidence or wild enthusiasm. I look over at the other lions and feel a wild grin spreading across my face as Allura and Coran both make noises of relief in our earpieces.

All of the Lions are gathered.  _ We’re only one step away from forming Voltron.  _

Suddenly, the walls of the castle begin to flare red and Coran's voice is anxious and surprised over the com, "Ah, quiznak!"

Allura's voice follows soon after, "Sendak is entering the Arusian atmosphere! We need Voltron, now!"

_ … And that step is figuring out how the fuck to do it. _

I watch as the Black Lion accepts Shiro into its jaws, and I urge the White Lion forward to greet him. The others follow after me, and when I enter the Black Lion's chambers I hear the sound of another large door opening. I look up at the ceiling and watch as it opens slowly, the blue skies of Arus revealed before us yet it is marred with purple beams that lash through the sky and strike a large, light blue barrier surrounding the castle. It looks much like the barriers that surround the Lions when we aren't within them. The particle barrier, I suppose. 

Sendak's forces have arrived.

The Black Lion lets out another, powerful roar, and I grin as Shiro takes control, guiding the Black Lion up and through the now-vanished roof. I close in behind him, and I look over my shoulder and see Keith in the Red Lion tagging close, and Pidge in the Green Lion on the other side. We follow Shiro into the open air, and I bring the White Lion up next to him as he guides us to the stone ground just outside of the castle. I hear the collective thuds of the other lions landing next to us, and that's when I spot the massive Galra ship hovering intimidatingly in the air like a spectre of death.

This one seems bigger than the one back on Earth, but it has the same black metal with purple accents along its sides; it’s about the size of a modest sized town, completely blocking out the sunshine and casting us, and the Castle, in a dark shadow. There are thousands of dots in the sky that isn’t covered by the cruiser, like birds, but as I examine them closer I realize they're drones; little fighter-pilot sized ships, black with red and purple accents, and all of them are firing on the Castle. I spot the big gun, the one that looks like a spork, is glowing bright purple, seeped into the metal like a dark glow from beneath as an orb of energy builds at its nose.   
"Hunk, I thought you said you took the ion cannon out?" I ask through the com, watching as the cannon releases its power, pounding the particle barrier with a burst of energy, "I did! Err--- thought I did." Hunk replies, his voice crackling over the com as Pidge pipes, "They may have repaired it!"

The energy smashes into the particle barrier with a wave, and I feel the propulsion and power of the blast even through my lion. Hunk whistles through the com, "Man, those Galra guys repair things fast!"

The ion cannon’s burst ends and the glowing light of the cannon fades like extinguishing a flame. Coran's voice sparks in our communicators, "The particle barrier gets weaker with every blast! Once the shield goes down the castle will be defenseless!"

Allura responds, her voice is strained, "I can give you some cover with the Castle defenses for a little while, but you have to form Voltron now, or we will all be destroyed!" 

Hunk grumbles, and I'm not sure if he meant for us all to hear it or not, "Geez, no pressure."

The ion cannon is already beginning to glow purple once more, and after a moment another blast surges against the castle’s barrier. I hear what sounds like the cracking of thin ice, and I look at the particle barrier in worry; it still holds, but it's flickering and weak. It can't survive another blast from that cannon!

Shiro's voice comes over the com, desperate but firm, "Listen up, team Voltron! The only way to succeed is to give it all you got! This looks bad, but we can do this! Are you with me?"

I feel a surge, similar to the one I felt inside, but on a lower scale as Shiro's voice fills the cabin. I nod, my grasp on the controls tightening in preparation right as Hunk's voice floats across the mic, "I'm nodding, is everyone else nodding?" I snort in amusement, as we all respond in unison, "Yes."

"Let's do this!" Shiro rallies, his lion lifting its snout and charging forward. I follow just a step behind, racing forward as the White Lion's claws dig into the earth and launch us forward with each stride; I have never felt so powerful, and in control.

"Uh, _ how _ are we supposed to do this?!" Lance asks over the com, and I realize, in that moment, that Allura hasn't mentioned anything about how the hell we're supposed to form Voltron. She just said... do it. As Coran says…  _ Quiznak. _

"Good question." Shiro responds, his voice a tad breathless, "Does anyone have any ideas on how to form Voltron?" Our lions leave the particle barrier, and I become highly aware of the beams raining down upon us from the Galra ships. I have little trouble evading them, twisting my lion side to side, but I grow anxious as I watch one beam barely miss Pidge's side. 

"I don't see any 'form giant robot' button on my dashboard!" Hunk cries helpfully.

We approach a break in the land, and our lions leap in unison to cover the distance, purple beams whizzing past us and exploding into the sand. I glance over my shoulder to find the source and notice the trio of drones following us, shooting our backs.  _ Shit, come on, think, Will! _

"This is insane!" Pidge laments, "Can't they cease-fire for one minute while we try to figure this out?! Is that too much to ask?!" I watch Pidge break the formation we were in for the moment and I whirl my own lion around to back her up, but I realize then it’s not necessary. I watch the Green Lion leap up and snatch one of the fighters in its jaws, utterly crushing it between its teeth and tossing it into the second beside it.  _ That leaves one _ . I push my lion into action, leaping forward and clawing through the fighter as flies just a little too close to the ground. I can feel the metal in her claws second hand as they rip through the fighter, smoke rising just before her eyes as we peer out over the desert, dotted in violet.  _ Holy shit… that was fucking cool.  _

"We've gotta do something!" Keith presses over the com.

I whirl to get back to the others and watch the Yellow Lion collide with the Red Lion with a loud clang, "Combine!" Hunk shouts. Keith lets out a holler in surprise, his lion rolling in a swift movement to right itself. It almost seems to me like its ears are pressed forward angrily at the Yellow Lion as Keith snaps, "Hey!"

The Yellow Lion hangs its head as Hunk pouts, "Okay, that didn't work." More fighters fly towards them and open fire, sending the two scurrying away in escape. I launch the White Lion forward, feeling the second heartbeat within my chest as an image flashes, showing me a single button:  _ Mouth Cannon. _

I blink and following my instincts, her instructions, whatever it is, and press it without hesitation. The White Lion opens her jaws and the cabin shakes as she fires the cannon at the fighters, rattling me in my seat but more importantly blowing them to pieces. I smirk in self-satisfaction as Allura's calls out to us with the same deliberate fashion as usual but with a hint of breathlessness, "Quickly, Paladins! Our energy levels are getting low!"

Shiro's voice comes through the com as Allura's image closes, "Maybe if we fly in formation we will just... combine! Take off on my cue!" I press the Lion forward to catch up to the others as they run across the sandy earth, positioning the controls in preparation to engage the thrusters.  _ Wow, I think I'm starting to think like a pilot. Oh, my parents must be shivering in excitement back on Earth at the thought. _

"One... two... three... Voltron!" Shiro shouts into the mic, and we lift off just as we approach a rather massive cliff-face. At the last second I realize I need to engage the thrusters and have a second’s heart attack as the White Lion and I nearly plummet to the round.  _ Fuck. Focus, Will! _ I press my lion just behind the Black Lion, with Pidge and Keith on either side of me, and I can feel the Blue and Yellow Lions at my back.

"Here we go!" Keith grunts, quickly followed by Lance snarling into the com, "Come on, come on…!"

"Nothings happening!" Shiro huffs in frustration. A dark shadow passes over us and Lance suddenly gasps, "Wait, I feel something!" I press my controls forward when the Black Lion gets a little farther ahead of me but my lion doesn’t go. Instead it kind of feels like we’re being... pulled. But it isn't right, it isn't a pull from within, like I expected it to be. "Yeah, it feels like we're all being pulled in the same direction!" Hunk cries.

"Uh, I think I know why. Look up!" Shiro's voice falls, and I follow his instruction to see the Galra ship, now flying directly overhead. A massive red pillar of light shines upon us, which must be the source of the pull: A tractor beam. 

Lance's response is the most appropriate emotion for the moment, groaning, "What the  _ cheese _ ?"

Pidge speaks three times as fast when he's anxious, which was three times faster than I'm able to follow, "Sendak's ship is sucking us in like a black hole!"

The ion cannon on top of the Galra ship fires with a powerful hum that I can feel now that we’re closer, the violet pulse charging over our heads and colliding with the Castle. I hear the shatter even from up here as the barrier falls.

Shiro's voice is soft over the com, "Oh no."

Hunk's snivels, his voice high and anxious, "I don't care what you say, Shiro, I'm panicking now!"

Pidge sighs in exasperation, "It can't end here!" Lance groans dramatically, "This is it!"

Keith's voice comes over the com, his voice is downcast yet firm, "It's been an honor flying with you guys."

I feel my heart fall, gritting my jaw as I tighten my grip around the White Lion's controls, "No, we can do this!" I snarl into the mic, facing the ship as I feel the Lion's heartbeat pulse from my chest into my palms, thrumming against the controls, "We can do this, don't you give up now!"

Shiro's voice answers immediately, determined and fiery, "Will's right! We have to believe in ourselves! We can't give up. We're the universe's only hope! Everyone is relying on us." His voice is firm, as deliberate as he is, "We can't fail, and we will  _ not  _ fail!"

I grit my teeth as the fluttering pulse within my chest pounds like the drums of war. I feel a resurgence of energy, feeding off of the other lions and through my own, and my breath shortens at the sensation. "If we work together, we'll win together!" Shiro cries, and I narrow my eyes in determination as power flows within me, like a tidal wave as I join the chorus on the com, "Yeah!"

All of a sudden, at their own volition, all of our lions roar in unison. I close my eyes and suddenly I feel like every piece of my consciousness stretches outward, like my very essence is extending to the others. It encircles and embraces the other lions, the other forms of the other and I hear the cracks and groans of machinery snapping into place followed by an the overwhelming feeling of belonging: this was how it was always supposed to be.

A second later, I open my eyes and know when I look out of the White Lion's eyes, that we have formed Voltron. I look to my left and see the Green Lion forms the left arm, and Keith in the Red Lion as the right, with Hunk and Lance's lions forming the legs. I'm the torso with the Black Lion forming the head. My controls have shifted, they’re no longer in their usual locations and I see new symbols and buttons, but  _ of course  _ they don’t have any labels.  _ That’s unhelpful.  _

"I can't believe it! We formed Voltron!" Pidge cries, "We did it!"

"Did you guys feel that? Like our essences are stretched and we embraced each other with our lions… this is amazing!" I answer with awe, and the purr of the White Lion resounding within me a sense of approval.

"I'm a leg!" Hunk cheers in excitement, followed by Lance's confused glee, "How are we doing this?"

"I don't know." Shiro answers, and as the words Shiro leaves his mouth I know exactly what he’s about to say, "But it’s time to take out that cannon!"

We move in sync. Where I would engage the thrusters in my lion it seems to engage the thrusters in Voltron’s back, and with a forceful jerk we break the tractor beam that held us with ease, launching upward towards the massive vessel. I twist my controls like I would to move my lion, which in turn makes Voltron shift and twist to the side, leaving the Green and Red Lion arms open to lash out and grab a hold of the ion cannon aboard the vessel. With a mighty tug and an angry groan, the cannon rips lose of the ship, and we throw the massive, metal spork over our shoulder and down to the ground with a loud boom. _ Whoa, this is cool, whoa, this is cool- _

We lift the Red Lion, curled in a fist, and punch it downward and into the hull, and from within Keith’s Lion lets loose a powerful torrent of energy, like our lion’s mouth beams, but ten times more powerful. The front hull of the ship bubbles and then explodes with a crash, sending smoking metal flying all around us. Lance and Hunk blast full thrusters to allow for us to stay put as the front half of the ship rips and falls to the ground with the sound of screaming, grating metal. We move forward as a unit, the ship's outer shell bending like supple cheese as we rip through it by sheer velocity, Pidge shooting with his lion's mouth-cannon and rending the ship as we head towards the back-end of the ship.

We loop in the air, bringing the Red Lion fist forward as we cry out in unison, our voices ringing through the communicators as we tear straight through the back end of the ship. With a mighty boom, the ship explodes in flames, and the shattered remnants float to the ground, aflame or already burning to a crisp.

The Galra cruiser is destroyed. Chunks of the ship fall to the earth, chunks no bigger than Voltron itself. It’s over.

"I can't believe it. We did it." Hunk whispers over the com as we turn and fly away from the destroyed ship, back towards the Castle. The fighter drones are gone, they’ve all fallen to the ground now that the main hub has been destroyed. 

I can hear Shiro's smile over the mic as he laughs softly in response, and after a few seconds, the surge of connection, that I had already grown so used to, is gone. I watch as we break off into our separate lions, my holographic board flickering back to its original place, just as it was before. It takes us a few seconds to gather ourselves, and from there we return to the Castle to check on Allura and Coran.

We land on the castle grounds, by the front door we walked in so long ago, and I peer down to see the others stumble out of their lions. I stand from the pilot's seat, and almost immediately my legs wobble, I have to rest my hands on the holographic panels to keep myself upright. I turn and walk slowly down the stairs, every muscle groaning with each step like I just ran a marathon and then pressed weights, all crashing down on me in one fell sweep. I didn't realize how much forming Voltron would... tax me. I roll my shoulders as I step off my lion and approach the others where they cluster together, rubbing a particularly sore muscle in my arm. I seriously feel like I just bench pressed Hunk and my body does  _ not  _ like it.

Allura and Coran burst out of the Castle, both beaming as bright as stars themselves as they race towards us, "Great work, Paladins!" Allura praises, her hands clasped in excitement as she approaches us. We gather into a loose cluster, where Hunk immediately sits on the ground with his hands splayed behind him with an exhausted huff. I take off my helmet and set it on the ground, running my fingertips through my hair. My gloves are now slick with sweat, and I stretch my arms over my head as Lance takes off his helmet, albeit with more of a flourish, following it up with a wink aimed at Allura, "Thanks, pretty lady!" 

I roll my eyes as Pidge takes off his helmet as well, holding it under his arm yet with a far off look in his eye that I don’t have time to analyze as Shiro approaches us from the Black Lion. He punches Keith's arm with a good-natured, kind smile, his helmet under his arm, "We did it."

Keith smiles in relief, pulling off his helmet as well and holding it under his arm as he runs a hand through his hair, sweat dripping from his brow as he exhales into his words breathlessly, "Heck yeah, we did!" I feel my heart thud in my chest out of rhythm for a brief moment, and I quickly attempt to distract myself by closely examining Keith's helmet. 

_ … I’m not seriously gay for Mr. Brooding Wonder, am I? _

"How did we do it?" Shiro asks in a breathless manner, and I see that even though he's sweating just as much as the rest of us, he looks more relaxed than I've ever seen him. Or, rather, since I met him what, 5 hours ago? How long has it really been? I turn to the sunset, which casts the Castle and thin greenery in shades of gold and rose, and wonder if a day on this planet is the same to a day on Earth. Would my parents know by now that I wasn't coming home?

"I was just, like, screaming the whole time!" Hunk stands up from where he'd collapsed on the ground, popping his helmet off with some difficulty as he grins in a tired manner, "Maybe that did it!"

Pidge reaches into a small satchel at his hip and pulled out his round glasses, putting them on as his eyebrows draw together, and his eyes cast down. I raise an eyebrow; I’d expect him to be happy for our success, but he looks… despondent. Disappointed, but more than that, it’s… sadness. 

I'm not the only one to notice; Shiro reaches out a hand and rests it on Pidge's shoulder, bringing his gaze up to Shiro’s as he murmurs encouragingly, "We're not going to stop searching until we find your brother and your father, Pidge. And wherever they are, I know they'd be proud of you." 

I raise an eyebrow as I examine Pidge more closely, my mind immediately whirling with questions.  _ He thought his brother and father were captured on the ship? They must have gone looking for them when they were getting the Red Lion, and evidently found nothing. How could his family be prisoners by the Galra?  _ I resolve to ask Pidge more about it at another time, as at the moment he's busy looking very touched and emotional from Shiro's kind words.

Allura interrupts, her hands resting on her waist, "We have won the battle, but the war has only just begun." She looks down at her feet for a moment as she continues to speak, "I'm afraid Zarkon won't stop until he gets all of these lions."

Coran holds his arms in a dignified manner behind his back, "Good thing that you Paladins know what you're doing, because you are going to have to form Voltron again and again!"

Hunk nods solemnly, "Totally." He blinks suddenly, his eyes widening as he digests what Coran just said before he suddenly clears his throat, "Wait, what?"

I raise a hand tentatively, “I, personally, feel like I just got hit by a truck, so I don’t know about the whole ‘again and again’ part.”

Lance cries dramatically, raising his hands over his head with wide eyes, "We barely survived forming Voltron this  _ one  _ time!"

Coran raises his own hand with a matched tone, "Oh, and you only had to fight  _ one  _ ship! Wait until you have to fight a whole fleet of them!" He takes a step back, twirling his mustache, "It's not going to be easy, being the defenders of the universe."

We all stare at Coran with wide eyes, and I can't help but glance over and closer inspect the others. 

Pidge, so small and so smart, yet he's hiding something, cloaked behind his round glasses. Hunk is funny and well-meaning, but I can't see any depth in his character besides cowardice. Lance doesn’t seem to have any depth, he's shallow, at least around Allura, and easily threatened, and then there's Keith. I actually have no qualms with Keith, I thought that we worked well together when we retrieved the White Lion, but he doesn't seem to be interacting as well with the others on the team, he’s too eager to butt heads with Lance when he provokes him. Shiro is born for this, that I have no question, but could he alone bring us together? Could we  _ really  _ work as a team?

I bite my lip, furrowing my eyebrows as I scramble my thoughts.  _ No. I'm not going to write them off from my perceptions. I'm going to get to know them better, we're going to bond, and we will be what the world needs us to be. _

"Defenders of the Universe, huh?" Shiro repeats, raising an eyebrow as he rests a hand on his waist, "That's got a nice ring to it." I watch him as he turns to gaze at the Black Lion, and the others as they look at their own lions in turn. I feel a slight smile break, and a similar flicker within me like when we formed Voltron.  _ This will work. I'll make it work. _

...

As the sun settles below the horizon, Allura escorts us back into the Castle to show us where we'd be staying, since it seems that we won’t be leaving any time soon, and on the way she informs us that the prisoners they found are in the medical bay and will take some time to recuperate. Pidge especially seems a little distraught by this, his expression falls and pinches like he was just told he wasn’t getting any presents at Christmas this year because Santa said he was too naughty.

It isn't until this moment, as we walk down the halls of the Castle towards our new rooms that I realize that I'm here permanently, at least until we defeat Zarkon. We’re the Paladins of Voltron now, and unless our lions pick other paladins we’re the sole pilots to the one hope the universe has to escape the tyranny of the Galra.  _ No fucking pressure.  _ And who knows how long it’ll take to debase a thousand year old tyrannical empire? 

I touch the White Lion's stone on my neck as I follow the others towards the bedrooms, grounding myself in the present instead of wondering where my parents are,  _ what’re thinking, how long will it take for them to notice- _

"There are 6 rooms on this hall that should work for-" Allura gestures down the hall we just turned down, a hall that looks like every other hall in the Castle, but she's immediately interrupted by Pidge sprinting through, nearly knocking her over as he cries, "I call the biggest room!"

"Hey! Pidge, no fair, you got a head's start!" Lance shouts in a whiny tone, racing after him in an attempt to catch up. They race from door to door, inspecting each room at lightning speed as the rest of us walk into the hall.

Behind us Coran approaches with a familiar looking cart, the one he had in the hanger. Allura, visibly put out by their clamor, sighs and turns to the rest of us with a gesture behind her to Coran, "Here are your clothes from earlier, as well as your belongings when you left for your missions. There are some spare clothing in the drawers, I believe, but if you require more or clothing of a different sort then I will investigate the other chambers. The laundry units are in your rooms on the left side, and you’ll find your clothes replaced after a few vargas." Pidge and Lance are now arguing over whichever one they decided is the 'biggest' room as Shiro nods respectfully, "Thank you, Princess."

"I don't know how you guys have the energy to be arguing right now! I just wanna eat and then sleep!” Hunk calls to Pidge and Lance, who aren’t listening in the slightest, before he taps his chin thoughtfully once he sweeps his clothes up from the cart, “Or should I sleep and then eat?" Lance and Pidge are yelling something about seniority now as Hunk walks off with his clothes at arm, entering a room on the left side of the hall. I can't help but smirk a little as I bend over and grab my clothes and backpack from the cart. I give Allura a grateful wave, which she doesn’t seem to notice as Shiro’s speaking to her in a low tone that I can’t quite distinguish, but I decide to just leave them be and look for a room. I poke my head into the nearest room, the one farthest from Lance and Pidge’s loud voices, and claim it by setting my helmet on the bed within as the door slides shut behind me.

There are bookshelves on the wall at the foot of the bed, which is in a nook against the wall, and decorating the floor is a large, light blue, shag rug on the floor. There’s a sleek white dresser against the far wall, but beyond that the room is so.. empty. I snoop through the dresser, and find several articles of clothing within.  _ Will they even fit me? How did they get here? Whose clothes were these? _ I pull off my armor and set it aside, stripping out of the flight suit beneath it and then wipe my forehead with the hem of my dark green t-shirt as I kick off my shoes. I let out a breath, running my hands through my hair, which is absolutely  _ soaked  _ in sweat, I’m actually astonished, and I turn and lay the flight suit out on my bed. The White Lion's stone taps my chest as tie my flannel I’d left in the cart around my waist. It's comforting, good to have a small reminder of home.  _ Glad that I’d worn my favorite flannel to school today. _

A voice clears their throat behind me, and I turn to see Shiro standing in the doorway, smiling politely, "Hey. Find a good room?"

I nod, busying myself with folding up my suit, "I just realized how poorly I planned to live in space for who knows how long. I haven't anything with me except the clothes on my back… and my backpack, but I don't know how helpful having  _ Hamlet _ up in space will be." I turn around the room to point at where I'd dropped it on the floor next to my bed.

"You and everyone else. Allura mentioned something scientific to get us some supplies, but I admit, I didn't understand it at all." Shiro smiles sheepishly, leaning on the doorway with his arms crossed comfortably over his chest. I break into a grin, setting the suit on the dresser and putting my helmet on top of it. I feel my amulet vibrate, almost like a phone. I blink down at it and I pull the amulet off my neck, holding it aloft to inspect it. It seems to be no different.  _ Then why does it keep buzzing like that? _ As I look at it, the smoothed surface like a riverstone, I remember throwing it to save Conner, tackling the shadow that held Keith.  _ Damien. _

I close my eyes. This day’s been so insane, I’d hoped getting shot at in my lion then forming Voltron would've helped me forget that whole experience, but it turns out, no.  _ Thanks for nothing, universe. _

"That's a cool necklace." Shiro comments, and I glance over at him in surprise, already having forgotten he's there, I got so wrapped up in my thoughts. I smile sheepishly and walk over to him, holding out the amulet for him to see.

"I got it after I passed the White Lion's test." I answer, thumbing the chain thoughtfully as I let the stone fall into his palm.

Shiro raises an eyebrow at me, holding the stone in his palm for a moment before he lets his hand fall to his side, "What do you mean, test?" Shiro asks softly, and I find myself balking as he continues in a more serious tone, "Keith said over the communicators that you had gotten knocked out." I furrow my eyebrows, but before I can open my mouth Shiro touches my arm, "And before you start getting defensive, I'm only asking because I'm trying to look out for you. We are a team, after all." 

I realize that I was indeed getting defensive; my shoulders are tensed, and I was already flurrying in my mind for a good tell-off phrase, like  _ 'Hey, I know I'm not a pilot or anything, but I think I handled myself as good as anyone else in this situation' _ or  _ 'I'm not a kid, go be a loving father figure to someone else.' _

My shoulders relax, and I slowly put the White Lion's amulet back on as I let out an agitated sigh. I guess I should allow myself to be vulnerable, at least around Shiro. He is the leader, and I need him to know that I am committed. Team bonding and all that noise.

"It... was difficult." I venture in a soft tone, touching the stone pensively, "It was testing my resolve, I think. To see that I would sacrifice anything to protect the people I care about." I bite my lip, a bolt of distress shooting down my spine.  _ If I would sacrifice myself. To allow myself to die for someone, or if I could make the impossible choice, or if I would willingly offer myself up like a piece of property to the most vile person I’ve ever known in order to save a stranger from the same fate- _

"That must have been difficult." Shiro's expression is kind, his grey eyes glimmering with understanding.  _ I bet he's a great hugger. _

"You have no idea." I answer ominously, fighting to keep my voice from shaking as I take a soft breath. "It.. It had three tests, but I’m still trying to figure out what they were testing me for.” I frown, tapping my fingertips as I count them off, “The first one I think was just see if I was willing to sacrifice myself for others but the second and third one... didn't make sense. I'm not quite sure what I was supposed to be doing, or how my answers were, apparently, the right ones… Guess I should just be glad I did it, though. It’d be kind of hard to find another paladin lying around somewhere with Sendak breathing down our necks."

Shiro watches me with a gentle gaze before a small smile perks the corners of his lips. He places a tender hand on my shoulder, interrupting my thoughts as he gives me a serious look, "I don't know you very well yet, Will, but you are incredibly strong, that much is easy to see." 

I flush in embarrassment, shrugging him off with an uncomfortable chuckle, "Hey, you know, I gotta compensate somehow. I'm not a cadet or anything, I'm just some guy from Virginia." 

Shiro ruffles my hair, which is strangely endearing, and he turns his back on me as he speaks in a gentle, parental tone, "You're definitely not just some guy. Some guy couldn't pilot the White Lion." Without another word, Shiro turns and walks out of my room, no doubt to claim his own room now that Pidge and Lance have settled down and agreed on some arrangement, as it is now silent in the hallway.

I kick off my shoes and roll my shoulders as my gaze slides to my bed. It looks comfy, it has a pillow, it looks like a normal bed and everything… I could sleep. No, I  _ want _ to sleep, I’m tired as hell… but I can't imagine the kind of dreams I would have after a day like today.

_ No way. Not today, Satan.  _

I turn away from my room and march out the door and into the hall.  _ I’ll explore the Castle instead, might as well look and see what we’ve got if we’re gonna be here a while. _

The halls are darkened with only the dim blue lighting of the ship's interior power system lining the walls to see by, I figure to emulate some sort of night time inside. I don’t see hide or hair of the others, they must be in their rooms or off exploring the Castle as well, it feels like I’m all alone in a metal prison. I trail my fingertips along the metal as I walk and let my mind wander, but unfortunately the firs thing it chooses to fixate on is home.  _ I wonder what my parents are thinking right now. Do they think I finally had a psychotic break or that I’ve run away? What will they do? Probably call the police, missing persons and stuff like that, but what'll happen when they can't find me? You know, I also kind of wonder what the people at school will think. The Head, Mr. Roads, Conner… Oh Conner. He’ll have no idea what happened to me, he’ll probably be the only person who’ll notice and miss me. Administration it’ll take a while to realize it, I think, unless my parents or the police go to them. ‘When was the last time you saw him? He got sent to the Head’s office and then disappeared you say? Hmm.’ _

The longer I walk in silence the more guilt hounds my thoughts. 

_ They must be worried sick. I’ve never run away like this, and now that it’s night time they must be wigging the fuck out, wondering how I’ll be sleeping without someone to help close by in case I have a particularly bad nightmare.  _

_ God, I’m scared shitless about being alone tonight, this is just like going to camp for the first time when I was nine. I’m scared of being  _ **_alone_ ** _ here with a bunch of strangers, strangers that I have to bond with and then fight a galactic war with. What’s worse is that I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I’m so out of my element, here, I wish, not for the first time and not for the last, that I lived in one of my fantasy worlds, perhaps Kalietha, where there is no science and instead there’s magic, where the sun and moon rises because of a long time spell a deity cast to bring light to a dark abyss to keep demons at bay. Fantasy I understand, dragons, magic, prophecies, chimaeras and unicorns and faeries… Those are things I fuck with. This? Sentient mechanical lions should be something fantastical but it’s involving a hell of a lot more piloting and sciencey shit than I care for.   _

_ Flying the White Lion today was insane, there’s only so much her coaching can teach me on the fly like that… I’m going to have to learn how to pilot, how to be her Paladin, without any help or guidance whatsoever. Christ, I wish I had some help, perhaps a ‘How to be the White Paladin for Idiots’. Mom would be able to figure it out. She’s brilliant, she could probably sit in the White Lion’s cabin and be able to fly it like an expert in a day.  _

_ I have to let them know that I'm okay. Send them a message, just to let them know that I’m safe but that I can’t come home yet. Shouldn’t probably talk about the ‘until I save the world, apparently’ part yet because that’s just fucking crazy, but they need to hear  _ **_something_ ** **…** _ Somehow… But how?  _

As I turn down another dark corridor, the stone resting against my chest buzzes, much more violently than the last few times, startling me half to death. I blink down at it and grasp the chain with furrowed eyebrows, watching as the stone begins to glow. Little lights, like sparkling dust form around it, and I blink in shock as the dust begins to take form into a small figure.

A silver, filigree dragon peels itself off of the stone like it was hiding beneath it’s moony surface, raising its head to look at me. It’s about the size of the pendant itself, small enough it could sit in the palm of my hand, and I find myself blinking at it stupidly as its little jaws open, making several quiet, crying sounds like a extremely tiny baby kitten. 

"Where the hell did you come from?” I ask incredulously. My heart melts as the little dragon peers at me with its tiny, diamond eyes, and makes the little crackling sounds again as its wings stretch out, the silvered, filigree netting settling in a distinctive, curling pattern as its form solidifies.

“You.. are so freaking cute.” I coo, reaching out a hand to stroke it with my index finger but it instead hops onto my hand, its tiny claws hurting a little as it digs into my skin to grasp for a hold. Personally I don't mind, as it's so cute it could probably bite off my pinky and I wouldn’t be too put off about it. It struggles to a sitting position in my palm, making another crying sound as it peers up at me with a tilt in its head like a confused puppy. 

_ Oh. My. God.  _

_ This is fucking  _ **_amazing!_ **

_ Okay... new thing. The rock is also magical. Maybe I spoke too soon about this whole business being too sciencey. But what the fuck is this? Not that I’m upset about having a fucking  _ **_dragon_ ** _ now, because that’s just too fucking cool to pass up, but what the hell is happening? Even after such a crazy fucking day, this is definitely up there in the running list of ‘crazy shit that’s happened today’.  _

The dragon tilts its head to the other side as it looks at me before it nuzzles my thumb in an almost affectionate manner, and while its surface appears to be metallic its scales feel surprisingly smooth against my skin. 

_ Alright, let's backtrack, maybe I can hone in on exactly why this may have happened. I was just walking around the Castle, thinking about the day… then thinking about my parents…  _

A theory begins to form. “Did you activate because I was worrying?’ I ask under my breath, talking to the little dragon as it tilts its head like a confused puppy. It doesn't speak, not that I'm expecting it to, but it does shift its body to instead nuzzle my palm with another, small, croaky cry.  _ Well, not like I’m expecting it to speak, but all things considered in how this day has panned out, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it did. _

_ Okay, so I was thinking about my parents, worrying about what they will do when they find out I’m gone… I’d just thought that I wished I could contact them, to tell them I’m okay. Maybe…?  _

_ It’s worth a shot.  _ "Can you contact my parents?" I ask suddenly as I peer at the little drake. Its diamond eyes fly open to look intently at me, so I continue with a soft voice, like I’m whispering a secret, "Can you let them know that I'm alright?"

The dragon lets out a soft squeal before it unfurls its little, silver, filigree wings and takes off of my hand like its a fighter jet and my hand is aircraft carrier on the sea. It flies away from me and down the hall, turning the corner, and then vanishing from sight. 

_ Well, that did something, but I haven't any clue what. _

I click my tongue as a blast of air strikes me from overhead. I glance up at the offending and step out from beneath it, unfurl my flannel from around my waist and instead pull it onto my shoulders to block out the onsetting chill.  _ Maybe I should follow it? See where it went? But how the hell am I supposed to track down such a small thing through a castle as big as this? It’ll be like trying to find an Apple user in a crowded room. Maybe I’ll go check out the bridge some more instead, I think it’s just up here, or maybe I can see what’s behind those doors by the hangers- _

“Can’t sleep?” 

I turn around, and watch Keith approach. His hands are shoved loosely in his pockets of his fashion crime of a jacket as he regards me with an unreadable gaze, but based on how hard his gaze was when we met I figure it’s close to his version of an amicable look. 

I smirk, shrugging my shoulders, "Please. I haven't been able to sleep my whole life. I'm used to it by now." 

Keith stops in the hall to stand with me with a soft hum in response. Damn, I mean, he is... kind of handsome, actually. His eyes are pretty, glinting in the dark hall, and although I’ve never seen a haircut quite like his before it frames his face well, and how did I not notice that he’s got a  _ hell  _ of a jawline-  _ Wait, no, fuck. I should not be thinking gay thoughts about a perfect stranger. I don’t do that anymore. Bad Will, we’ve talked about this. _

I clear my throat and tilt my head at him as I fiddle with the sleeves of my flannel, "What about you?" He raises an eyebrow at me questioningly so I amend my statement, "It's been kind of a stressful day, shouldn't you also be resting? Or are you too stressed to sleep, too?"

"I'm fine." Keith shrugs nonchalantly, but I notice his eyes leaves my own to peer down the hallway, purposefully avoiding my gaze with a determined set in his brow, unconsciously scowling at nothing.  

I can't help myself; I burst out laughing. Keith looks at me like I'm crazy, but once I’m able to restrain myself a little I cock an eyebrow at him with a broad smirk, "Are you always this broody?" I venture, unable to stop the growing smirk that stretches across my face, "It's kind of endearing."

Keith blinks at me wide, surprised eyes, his words stammering a little as if he was caught off guard, "I'm not  _ broody _ !"

"You totally are. If they have competitions for brooding, you'd be crown king." I smirk in response. I notice the tips of his ears seem to blush a deep red that matches his jacket.  _ That's cute. _

Quickly, he tries to change the subject by clearing his throat, “So, you’re used to not sleeping… Do you have insomnia?”

I shake my head swiftly, “No. Well, actually, I mean…” I bite my lip pensively, contemplating my best response as I watch Keith. His face is a mask, a carefully constructed one I think, yet the dim, turquoise lights that line the halls make his dark gaze glimmer like the depths of space reflecting the light of stars.  _ If we’re gonna be teammates, stuck up in space together, I’ve got to know more about him, but based on how that went earlier in the pod I think it’ll be a bit like pulling teeth. Maybe if I show him that I trust him, maybe he can learn to do the same for me. Damnit, am I gonna have to be emotionally vulnerable to everyone on the team, now? Shiro was one thing, but Mr. Brooding Wonder over here is another beast. So would too would Lance, so too would Hunk and Pidge.   _

_ Ugh. This whole 'allowing myself to be vulnerable' thing is really going to emotionally wreck me at some point. Let’s just start small by telling him about my dreams that I’ve never breathed to another soul about except my parents, my camp counselor, Damien, and my therapist. Five people. That actually seems like a lot. So, maybe it’ll be easy, right? _

"Not in the traditional sense." I begin, catching my bottom lip between my teeth as I think of my response, "My dreams... they... they’re really intense. And after a day like today, I'm scared to fall asleep… of what I'll dream about." I answer softly, and as my throat tightens I quickly cast my gaze down at my feet. _Fuck, this is way more uncomfortable than I thought it was gonna be._ _I never mentioned my dreams to Conner, to my field hockey team back in Virginia even though we were as tight as can be, we told each other damn near everything, Kryssa told us before anyone else when she lost her virginity in her first year in high school… It just never came up, it was never relevant. Maybe I would have if it were to, but probably not. The dreams are too weird, too…_ ** _crazy_** _. But Keith was there when the test went down, he’s a bit different, it’s a little more relevant now._

Much to my surprise, Keith nods in understanding, his arms remaining crossed tightly across his chest, "Yeah, I hear that.” 

He doesn’t move to leave, but he also doesn’t venture another response either.  _ Huh. Maybe it’s not that weird. Or he’s just used to it by now. Or he’s hiding it really well.  _ I glance down the empty hall, gesturing with my thumb with a raised eyebrow in his direction, “Wanna walk and talk?” 

Keith pauses, examining my face closely before he shrugs, “Sure.” He starts walking ahead of me and I quickly move to catch up. I almost slip and fall, as the smooth floors of the Castle making wearing socks that much more interesting, but I quickly pick up beside him gracefully like nothing happened, which is about the luckiest thing that’s happened to me today.

Much to my surprise, Keith speaks first, “So, you've had these dreams about the lions your whole life?” I raise an eyebrow at him, and when he glances over at me he adds, “You’ve mentioned it a few times.” Keith’s voice is soft in the dimly lit corridor and I have to admit, it’s rather soothing. It has a general huskiness to it, I think it comes with the broody attitude, but it’s truly pleasant to listen to. Wonder if he ever considered voice acting.

I nod, slowly meeting his gaze with some difficulty, “Yes. They were all the same, every night it would start with a white lion -  _ the  _ White Lion, I know now - looking at me and then it would burst into smoke. The smoke would form into… things. Sometimes it was people I loved, sometimes strangers, and something would be happening to them that I had to stop. It... I think it was preparing me for the tests that I took today, when we went to get my lion.” I frown and intensely regard the floor, suddenly overwhelmed by how tears threaten to boil over all of a sudden, “And to be frank, I don't think I ever passed until now.”  _ Okay, I know you said you were going to be vulnerable, but straight up crying to a stranger does not seem the way to go. Keep it together.  _ “It didn’t help that the tests back on the Moon were a hell of a lot harder than they were in my dreams.”

Keith interrupts my thoughts, “Maybe it's because it wasn't a dream anymore?” I glance over at him to inspect him closely; he doesn’t appear at all phased, freaked out, or confused. He seems completely unreadable, actually, and that’s not something I’m used to seeing.  _ And I’m not a fan; getting to understand someone’s facial queues and body language tells me a lot more than their words ever can, and I’m getting nothing from Keith. I’ll just have to watch and learn, trial and error and see what different expressions mean… except he doesn’t fucking  _ **_make_ ** _ those, he always looks so neutral and resolute-  _

I shrug, sighing softly as I shake my head, “I haven't the faintest idea.” I tilt my head to the side and allowing myself to think aloud, “I don't understand why she’d test me so constantly, though, they came every damn night. It was…” I huff, speaking animately with my hands in an attempt to better explain myself, “The tests aren't difficult in theory, they're difficult emotionally. They force me to make impossible decisions that most of the time don’t have an obvious right answer, sometimes there just straight up  _ isn’t  _ a right answer.” I scoff, gesturing towards Keith, who merely watches me without a change in expression as my voice wavers, “One of the tests I took today were  _ mild  _ in comparison to some of the shit she’s had me do in the past. So like, why put me through something emotionally difficult like that, when the actual tasks are simple? I guess maybe she was screening for my emotional response, or..." I blink, pausing in my rant.  _ That’s probably why she did it, so I would be ready for when I may have to make hard decisions like them in the future, which is very likely since we are engaging in the impossible task of finding and defeating some insanely powerful tyrant who’s ruled for a thousand years. Does the White Lion really think one day I'll have to choose between saving Keith or saving Conner? Or was that a metaphor? And what about that whole test with Damien, how is  _ **_that_ ** _ applicable to stopping Zarkon? Maybe that wasn’t as easy of an answer as I thought it would be. _

"Or... Maybe it's preparing you?" I look up at Keith in surprise as he speaks. He shrugs his shoulders a little as he removes his hands from his jacket pockets, gesturing vaguely ahead of us, "I don't know, you heard Allura. The White Lion's whole thing is self-sacrifice to protect the whole, so maybe it was screening you to see the extent of it." Keith trails off after a moment and I find myself nodding, my hands slipping into my pockets comfortably. Keith's gaze slides to meet mine, and in the darkness of the hallway I balk. The’re so... deep, dark. Hidden and unchanging, like the depths of the sea. I noticed that every time I think I have Keith's eye color figured out, it'd switch up on me; right now his eyes look like a dark blue, like the night sky, earlier today they were violet, and in the steely daytime light of the castle, back in the hanger before we left for the Moon, they were a deep gray, like thunderclouds.  _ Pretty. _

“That does seem to be its theme, yes.” I recollect my thoughts while clearing my throat softly. I tug on the collar of my flannel closer around me as I think about the tests, today, the ones I can remember from the past... “She just asks... a lot of me. So much that I’m not sure if I have enough that needs to be given. But I also have no fucking idea what the fuck they’re supposed to accomplish. They’re too… specific, I guess. Probably metaphors, or extend into a metaphor, but I sure as hell can’t see it most of the time.” 

Keith doesn’t answer, his hands shoved back into his jacket pockets resolutely. I look up at Keith with a raised eyebrow, suddenly feeling compelled to open up even more _ , God forbid _ , “You know, you were one of the tests.”

Keith blinks at me in total surprise, "Me?"

I hold up my hands as I backtrack, "Well, not _ you  _ per-say. It was... like…” I frown, furrowing my eyebrows and demonstrating with my hands, “You were being held with a knife at your throat on my right, and my best friend from back on Earth, Connor, he was on my left. These shadows, or whatever they were, people without faces… They holding you and him, they kept saying _ 'Choose.' _ " I attempt to imitate their dark, monotonous tone with a nervous grin, but my attempt at humor doesn't work to distract myself from the pain behind it. Keith looks on without a change in expression, his eyebrows furrowing more and more as I continue, "Every time I took a step towards one of you, the other shadow would dig its knife into Connor’s throat, so if I went to one of you they would…” Emotion seizes my throat and I have to stop, simply concluding with a forced laugh, “Sorry. Don’t mean to get all emotional about it.” 

Keith doesn’t answer for a time, but after a long moment he shrugs, his gaze sliding to the ground in front of us as we near the end of the long hall, "It's alright, no hard feelings." 

I raise an eyebrow at him stupidly, and when he meets my gaze he regards my expression for a moment before he elaborates, "You ended up choosing your friend, right? As you should. You don't even know me. So, I just wanted to say, no hard feelings."

I shake my head, looking down at the stone on my neck, "No, I didn't choose him.” 

Keith blinks at me with wide eyes, he looks utterly flabbergasted but before he opens his mouth to speak I quickly shake my head, “No, I didn’t choose you either. I didn't choose at all." 

Keith looks even more lost, blinking slowly with utter confusion written all over his face. I bite my lip and struggle to explain, “I had this really stupid idea. Like,  _ really  _ stupid. Stupid as in,  _ 'Hey, if I throw this rock it'll distract them long enough to get me to save one of you’ _ and then after that somehow I was able to throw a fucking  _ knife _ , which I've never done before, it was so fucking weird, kind of a miracle actually-" I bite my lip to stop my rambling, instead letting out a slow breath as I find my gaze firmly planted on my socks,  _ Bonjour Chat  _ socks that I’d gotten as a Christmas present five years ago.  _ Of all the relics of home that I brought with me into outer space…  _

"I don't know if I would make the same decisions if it happened in reality." I mutter after a long silence. When I blink I can see Damien's expression behind my eyelids, like a ghost remembering that it was supposed to be haunting me. I'm shaken with a renewed sense of terror each time, even though I know he's gone. 

I felt it in my heart when he left, I knew he wasn’t coming back. I definitely don't know how I would've made that decision if it were to happen in real life, but I knew at the time that it couldn’t have really been him, not when he turned away from me after rejecting him that first time. Maybe that’s what made it easier to do. 

Out of the corner of my eye I see Keith's lips twinge into a ghost of a smile, and when I look up to meet his gaze he murmurs softly, barely above a whisper, "If there's anyone I'd like to have at my back to protect me, I think you’d be an alright choice."

I raise an eyebrow in surprise, "What about Shiro?"

Keith breaks into another smile, and I notice his ears turn a little red as he speaks, "Well, you  _ and _ Shiro. But you definitely trump Lance, any day." We both share a soft laugh before silence refills the hall.

"Thanks for listening to me." I smile slightly at Keith, and when his eyes meet mine I have a moment of  _ wow  _ **_shit_ ** _ he’s actually kinda pretty.  _

_ Fucking hell. Get back in line, gay thoughts. _

Keith shrugs nonchalantly, and I take the opportunity to pursue a question that had been on my mind since Earth, "Hey, so actually, speaking of Shiro, I have a question for you: You seem to know him really well, like before all this happened, so… is he your brother, or something?"

Keith's gaze grows warm, fondly looking off to the side, "No, not my brother, but… close.” His voice is so strange. I’ve never heard him speak like that in the  _ one day _ I’ve known him. It’s gentle and soft, like the rough edges of his voice had been smoothed with sandpaper, and it drops to a softer register like he’s admitting a secret, “He's the only person who never gave up on me.”  Keith’s eyes waver as he stares straight ahead, his strange tone continuing as he murmurs, “I don't know where I'd be without him."

I watch his expression, the warmth in his eyes and the small smile at the corner of his lips. It’s a wonderful expression to see, and I get the inkling of a feeling that it’s one that doesn’t appear often. 

I don’t say anything for a while, cherishing the look while I have it, until it fades as we turn a corner. Only then do I shrug, "I don't know about that. You seem to have your priorities on straight, I can’t imagine that you’d be any place too bad without him.” Keith glances over at me with a slightly incredulous eyebrow raise as I continue without pause, “If I can see that after knowing you for like, what, less than twelve hours? - I'm positive Shiro did, too."

Keith meets my gaze with a slight glint of surprise, and his footsteps stall just before we reach the end of the hall. I blink at him and raise an eyebrow as I stop beside him, but when he opens his mouth to speak a loud crash echoes down the hall, followed by an angry, twittering noise that I immediately recognize.

"What the..?" Keith asks with furrowed eyebrows, turning towards the noise with a hand floating towards his back. 

I immediately sigh, turning and sprinting towards the sound, "Stupid fucker... shit, what did it get itself into?" 

Keith blinks, and I hear his footsteps racing behind me, "Wait, what? What was that?"

The closest room is the main chamber, where Allura controls the castle. The glass panels reflect the darkness outside, the only light coming from the massive, sapphire blue crystal overhead and the stars. Over to the right hand side one of the holographic panels is open and active. My little silver dragon friend is hovering over this one, hissing angrily at a group of the little fuzzy creatures, the band of mice that were in Allura's pod when we freed her from it this afternoon. They’re bristled, running in circles around the panel and launching into the air to swipe at the dragon but it escapes their grasp with ease, twirling in the air like hanging decorations over a baby’s crib. 

I quickly run forward and snatch my dragon from midair, "Hey!” I turn towards the mice with my dragon curled in my palm, chastising them with a raised finger, “Play nice, y'all!" Surprisingly they actually seem to not only hear my words but also understand that they're being shamed, as they hang their heads in an apologetic manner and make vague gestures of niceties at my little dragon before they suddenly bolt, making a beeline for the walls and disappearing from sight. My dragon seems indifferent, yet pleased at my timely arrival, it’s looking up at me with a look that says _ I-had-it-handled! _

"Whoa. What is that?" Keith murmurs in awe, and I glance over my shoulder as he approaches from behind me, reaching a finger forward towards my dragon without a beat of hesitation. The dragon seems to lavish in the attention, immediately learning forward nuzzling the pad of Keith's finger.

I let out a short breath, "Honestly, no fucking clue. He kind of spawned out of that rock I had when we got the White Lion like, five minutes ago. He's... I think this stone is a part of the White Lion, somehow, maybe a trophy since I passed its test? They’re linked somehow, and then he materialized and flew off but… I literally have no idea." I look down at my new friend as he entwines himself around the moonstone necklace.  _ I think it’s a he. I can establish my dragon’s gender, right? At least until he tells me otherwise. _

I raise an eyebrow at the medallion and smirk, "I think I'm going to name him Kevin."

Keith snorts in laughter, covering his mouth with a hand suddenly as he tries to disguise the noise by clearing his throat, "I'm sorry, you're naming... you're naming a dragon  _ Kevin _ ?"

I swallow, trying not to become flustered at how fucking  _ adorable  _ Keith's laugh is. Unfortunately I’m utterly failing, blinking at him stupidly for several seconds before I'm able to pull my shit together to resemble normalcy, "What?" I scoff, crossing my arms indignantly, "It matches his personality!"

Suddenly, with a small cracking sound Kevin hardens. When I look down I see that he’s becoming a set part of the amulet, curled around it with his wings semi enclosed over it protectively until he moves no more, his diamond eyes closing. I raise an eyebrow and prod him experimentally but he’s unmoving; it’s like he was never animated in the first place. 

Keith shakes his head slightly at me with a slight grin before he turns to the light of the panel in front of us. He narrows his eyes and leans over it, peering down at the light as he mutters, “What was he doing here, anyway? What’s that?”

I blink and follow his gaze, and immediately I’m shocked as letters, English alphabet letters, immediately leap out of the hologram that’s otherwise written in Altean:  _ ‘A M S A F E N O W O R R Y’  _

"He was... writing a message. No  _ fucking way, _ was he actually listening to me?" I stammer in complete surprise as I stare at the panel before briefly glancing over at Keith, “Can you tell at all what this is saying?” 

Keith glances over at me with a raised eyebrow, "Am safe, no worry?” 

I roll my eyes and smack his shoulder playfully, “No, I get that, I mean, why does it say that? Is it a message or something?” 

“Well,” Keith murmurs, pointing to a series of numbers listed next to the letters, “Those look like coordinates. Wait… actually,” He leans forward and narrows his gaze at it for a beat before he nods, “Yeah, I recognize those. That’s the latitude that’s by the academy, but the longitude’s a bit off, though.” He points to the screen to where the coordinates are, numbers and commas in a jumble, and I clutch the stone with a jumping race to my heartbeat. 

_ It listened. Kevin listened and did what I asked him to. He sent a message to my parents somehow and told them that I’m okay. Wow. _

_ How the fuck is this magic shit real? And worst of all, getting mixed up in the use of alien technology that I don’t understand? It’s like the universe is taking my favorite pair of shoes and covering them in marker until they hardly look like they’re mine anymore. _

"It was sending a message to my parents." I answer softly, chewing on my lip in thought, "I... That’s got to be what he was doing, we live just outside the Garrison compound.” I frown and tap on the panel, seeing if I can’t get it to send another, maybe bring up an English keyboard, but my touch only switches us to another page, one that’s entirely in Altean. I swear under my breath and drop my hands to my side in frustration as I flicker my gaze over to Keith, “Fucking hell, I can’t read this. I don't know how to send another, but I can ask Kevin, if you want me to?”

"It's fine." Keith shrugs nonchalantly, surprisingly nonchalant to the point that I raise an eyebrow at him in curiosity. Keith seems… not at all stressed that he has vanished off the face of the Earth. Literally.

"Do... aren't your parents going to be worried?"

Keith frowns at this, his expression hardening as he deliberately looks away from me without a word in response.

_ Oh. Oh shit. _

"I'm sorry." I murmur as soon as I realize my mistake, reaching out to touch his arm, "I shouldn't have assumed..."

"Yeah." Keith answers in a hard tone, and I feel the words as cold as ice stabbing my chest. I stop just before I touch him, and I instead let my hand fall. I’ve noticed he doesn’t seem to like it when I’ve touched him in the past, so I doubt he wants it now when he’s pissed, and rightfully so.

"I'm really glad you're here, Keith." I venture, which apparently surprises him as he looks at me as if I have grown two heads, "No, seriously. You're… different. The kind of different that vibes with my kind of different, you know?" I offer him a small smile, speaking in a gentle tone, "I really look forward learning how to be a Paladin with you."

Keith peers at me with a guarded gaze and I can’t tell if I’ve made things better or worse, his expression is completely unreadable. Slowly he turns away to look outside at the stars glittering in the night sky, and after a long silence he speaks in a deep, husky tone, "Yeah. Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****WOO BOY WHO THE FUCK IS READY FOR SOME CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND ANGST CAUSE i SURE AM!!!!!! GET READY FOR CHAPTER 5 MOTHERFUCKERS
> 
> I drank a lot of tequila as I wrote the last end of this, let's see how it holds up when I look at it sober tomorrow (currently 3am, I can't see shit, c'est la vie.)
> 
> \--- 
> 
> Just edited this sober, am actually quite impressed with Drunk me's writing skills. 
> 
> -tense edited 10/20/18-
> 
> -re-edited for consistance 1/11/19-


	5. Teamwork Makes...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Voltron is officially in the works, but desperation can only get the team so far. Will knows that eventually, they'll have to truly bond, as brothers and partners, if they're going to be able to stop a 1,000 year old war.  
> Easier said, than done.  
> Shadows arise, teeth get bared, and tempers shorten, can Team Voltron survive Teamwork Camp Coran?  
> \---  
> **Some vague NSFW at the beginning of this chapter, BE WARNED!**

_ The moon shines through my bedroom window as I sit on my bed with my keyboard in my lap. I softly tap out a song off the top of my head, letting the music command where my fingers go and where they press, the smoothed, pearly surface of the keys like balm on chapped lips. I’ve had a long day at school, I finished my homework, I deserve a little break before I go to sleep… especially before I go to sleep.  _

_ I lean my back against the wall, closing my eyes as my hands move, and after a moment of a tuneless melody I strike a familiar chord, permeating softly in the quiet of my room. I peer at the keyboard and follow the chords that follow, the quiet taps of the song I’d learned just a few weeks ago after extensive Mytube research but now, after weeks of practicing the notes, I can play it with my eyes closed. I’m home alone, I think idly to myself, I can play my songs as loudly as I want to. So, I let it flow, and begin to sing the accompaniment.  _

_ “My lover’s got humor _ _   
_ _ He used to giggle at a funeral, _ _   
_ _ To everybody’s disapproval, _ _   
_ _ I should’ve worshipped him sooner, _ _   
_ _ If the heavens ever did speak, _ _   
_ _ He’s my last true mouthpiece, _ _   
_ _ Every Sunday’s getting more bleak, _ _   
_ _ With fresh poison each week, _ _   
_ _ We were born sick, _ _   
_ _ You heard them say it, _ _   
_ _ My church offers no absolutes, _ _   
_ _ He tells me to worship in the bedroom, _ _   
_ _ The only heaven I’ll be sent to, _ _   
_ _ Is when I’m alone with you, _ _   
_ _ We were born sick, _ _   
_ _ But I love you, _ _   
_ _ Commend me to be well, _ _   
_ _ Amen, Amen, Amen. _ _   
_ _ Take me to church, _ _   
_ _ I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your light, _ _   
_ _ I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, _ _   
_ _ And offer me that deathless death _ _   
_ __ Oh good God, let me give you my life.”

_ I jerk up at the sound of something outside my window, which is swung open to let in the cooler breeze of the evening in, a brief respite from the never ending, dry, Texan heat. Intrigued, I sit up, gently setting my keyboard aside, and peek outside.  _

_ "Gonna let me in or what?"  _

_ I roll my eyes at Damien as he's crouched under the windowsill, the gleam of his shined boots catches the light of my lamp on my desk beside me, "You can just walk through the front door, you know, my parents are still at the Garrison."  _

_ "Yeah, but this way is way more fun." He brushes past me as he sticks a leg through the window and lets himself in; he’s still wearing his cadet uniform instead of civilian clothes which makes me wonder if he snuck out immediately after lights out. I roll my eyes again with a wide grin, shutting the window behind him once he’s inside. Before I can turn to face him his hands immediately wander to my waist, and I feel his lips on the back of my neck. A soft smile stretches across my lips.  _

_ "I missed you, today." His breath warms the space between my shoulders and my neck, his body pressing me against the window and I find my hands pressed to the windowsill to steady myself. I chuckle softly to him as I close the blinds.  _

_ "You always say that."  _

_ "That's cause it's always true." Damien's hands wander past my waist and to my hips, his fingers lazily pulling on the waistband of my sweatpants and pulling them back to press my hips against his. I close my eyes and drink in the attention, letting my head lean back to touch to his shoulder. His breath catches, and his hands move to slide up my shirt, his teeth biting on the side of my neck. I start with a moan, reaching behind me to his hair and threading my fingers through the course hair, trimmed in an undercut that flatters his jawline like nothing else. He keeps it relatively short because he doesn't like to do things with it, it’s nice to touch. _

_ I let out a soft, hitched moan as Damien sucks on his bite roughly, the suckling sound louder than even my pulse as his hands glide slowly lower, "Mine," He growls, his hips jerking forward and pressing me against the window. I feel his hands find their way into my boxers and I gasp, but it's silenced by his hand over my mouth. My moans are muffled as I turn to putty beneath his skilled touches as his voice grows darker, "You're all mine." His hand slides from my mouth to my throat, and suddenly I can't breathe. I gasp for air, grabbing his hand to pull it away but he keeps his hand firmly covering my mouth and the other strangling me, his hips pressed into my back to hold me in place. He always does this, it’s so demanding and sudden and I never seem to be ready for it- _

Loud, blaring alarms rip me out of the dream and I start awake, my vision wavering as red lights flash intermittently from the walls of my room. Suddenly I can hear Allura, shouting in desperation, "Everybody up! Zarkon's attacking!" I sit up so fast that I immediately get nauseous, blinking for several seconds before I'm able to digest being alive.  _ Shit.. what? Zarkon? Wait, like the big guy himself? What the fuck-! _

I flurry out of bed and rip my flight suit from beneath my helmet where I left it on my dresser last night, stepping into it as fast as I can as the helmet’s sent flying to the floor and rolling to the doorway. The suit clings to me tightly with every movement, and I have to pull on the collar as the chain of the White Lion’s stone around my neck digs into the skin uncomfortably. I practically collapse on the edge of my bed, jumping into the suit’s plated boots on and strapping them across the front before frantically grabbing the plated armor for my legs, which I learned the hard way the day before are magnetic to latch onto the suit without straps. I clip the belt, grabbing the chestplate, but no matter which way I turn it it’s always backwards when I try to pull it on over my head,  _ what the shit _ \- Allura's voice shouts again, resounding throughout the hall, "The Castle's about to be destroyed!"

"Fuck it." I swear, grabbing the armguards from the floor and snatching up my helmet as I sprint out the door, heading towards the main deck.

"Go, go, go! We need Voltron, now!" Allura cries, and I quickly ground to a halt in the middle of the empty hall.  _ Shit, if we need Voltron, I need to get to my lion. Fuck!  _ I pull my helmet on, still only half wearing my armor as I sprint for the hanger, hoping to God that I get there in time. There's a system on the bridge that takes us to our lions, yes, but it would've taken just as long for me to just run there from here than to go all the way to the main deck to take the elevator. 

Silver's jaws are already open and the barrier’s fallen when I burst into the hanger, thankfully, and I race up the stairs two at a time and practically fall into the pilot's seat. I look around for a button to open the hanger, my hands are shaking, are the others already outside? I don’t hear anything over the communicators in our helmet, are they okay?  _ Fuck are they okay?  _ Finally I spot a button that reads ‘Hanger’ and smash it as I press Silver’s controls forward to rise to our feet. The doors of the hanger snap open and I engage her thrusters with the flip of a switch, racing out at breakneck speed into...

An open sky. The particle barrier isn't even active. The horizon burns scarlet with rays of gold from the rising sun radiating outward, the sea beneath glowing like Aurora Borealis, the only sound I hear is my rapid breath and flurried heartbeat.

"What the fuck..." I swear under my breath, and I tap my helmet as I engage the com, "Hey, what the hell, Allura, I thought you said we were under attack? Where is everyone?"

Silence meets me for several seconds until Shiro's voice answers me, in a rather tired tone, "This... isn't an actual attack?"

Allura immediately snaps back with a chastising tone, "And it's a good thing it wasn't, because it took you... Coran?"

I take a deep breath as I pinch the bridge of my nose, the adrenaline that snapped me awake so quick now fading away and leaving my head pounding as Coran answers confidently, "Seventy five degrees." Silence. "Wait! Sorry, this is a meat thermometer!"

I sigh and slowly turn the White Lion back around to rest back in her hanger, and I can hear Allura rolling her eyes through the com, "However long it was, it was too long! You must always be ready to do battle with Zarkon. Look at you! Only Shiro's in uniform! And only Will had the sense to head to his lion!"

I land the Lion in the hanger and grab my remaining armor from the floor, dragging my feet as I walk into my elevator that takes me to the bridge. I take my time, since shit’s hitting the fan over the com. 

"Keith, Pidge, Hunk, where are your bayards!? And where is Lance?" Allura snaps with a sharp tongue.

"Good morning everybody, what's going on?" Lance's voice is silky, like he slept like a rock, and I'm low-key bitter about it as the elevator arrives to the main room, the doors sliding open. I step inside with my chest plate in one hand and my armguards in the other.

Allura is standing in her circle with her arms crossed just like her expression,with Coran at her side, facing the team where they stand by the doorway in varying stages of preparation. Shiro is in full armor, appearing like he’s more than ready to take on Zarkon which isn’t too much of a surprise, Pidge is wearing the same clothes as yesterday and the longer I look at him the more I get the sense that he hasn't realized it's now 'today' instead of yesterday, based on how slowly he blinks and how haywire his hair sticks up on the sides, more wild than it was yesterday. Keith is wearing the same clothes as yesterday as well, he’s pulling on his hideous jacket with a tired look towards me when I enter like he just got there himself. Hunk is standing slightly behind Shiro, hiding from Allura’s wrath, as he’s in what look like very cozy, dandelion yellow pajamas. Lance, who apparently just walked in, is wearing a blue bathrobe and cobalt blue slippers with his lion’s face on the toes.  _ What the fuck those are so adorable where the fuck did he- _

“There you are, Will…” Allura whirls to look at me as I trudge into the room but pauses as she looks me over, her eyebrows raised incredulously, "Why is your uniform only half on?"

I huff, moving to stand with the others, "Does it matter? I got to my lion, I don't need it when I'm inside anyway. Don’t I get extra points for that?"

Allura's eyebrows furrow as she rests her hands on her hips, replying in a terse tone, "You could have been captured, or your lion could have been injured! You could have been sucked into space with half your armor on, and your body would’ve been crushed into calshlorp before you could say ‘Voltron’!" She turns to the others, her expression growing more and more upset as she speaks, "Coran and I have been up for hours getting the Castle back in order. We had to run a test on the alarms, and we decided to test you as well." Her gaze darkens as she holds her hands behind her back with a stern expression, "Guess which one failed?"

Hunk pouts, "Hey!" He's interrupted by a yawn before he's able to continue, "You got to sleep for a thousand years, man! Yesterday I was on Earth!" Hunk begins to count on his fingers, his expression furrowed and pensive, "And now, one, I've flown through space, two, Fought some evil alien named Sendak, three, Eaten goo in some weird castle..." He let his hands drop, his expression morphing to one that reminds me of a toddler who got interrupted from a needed nap, "That's a lot to process in a day! What day is it anyway?"

"It's the third quintant of the Spicolian movement. Hump Day!" Coran replies helpfully, twirling his mustache as Hunk looks at him with absolutely no idea what he's saying. After a brief moment he merely grumbles, "It's a lot to process!"

Allura looks to each of us in turn before her voice softens, yet is no less stern, "You must understand the stakes of our mission." She turns from us and waves her hand as a hologram panel appears before her. She begins to type away at it as she continues, "Over the last thousand years, the Castle has received distress beacons from the following locations." She hits a final button and suddenly a large hologram appears, stretching out and encompassing the whole room, just like yesterday when Allura was showing us where to find our lions. This time, however, the balls of light, the thousands of celestial bodies throughout the universe, are color coded. As the hologram takes form the lights are all blue, but with angry flashes a grand majority start turning red as the distress signals roll in, growing so great in number to the point that I can’t even find any blue lights. 

Allura’s voice is dark and taut as she stares at the holographic planets that surround us, "We have to assume that Zarkon has conquered almost the entire known universe." 

I shiver as I spin in a circle, staring at each small red light. Each of these places have millions, if not trillions of people on them, just like Earth.  _ There are so, so many... _

Allura slides the map to the right as one would swipe left on a phone, moving from where we are, space where the lights were mostly red, to space where the lights were mostly blue, but there’s a noticeable wall of red that’s encroaching upon the area. "Earth is here." She points to a small star system, barely big enough for me to wrap my arms around. I recognize Saturn’s rings, small enough to fit around my finger, and I realize that this tiny area, big enough for me to hug, is the Milky Way, the entire universe that we knew until yesterday. And it's _ so close  _ to the massive cluster of red lights. 

Allura’s voice is foreboding as she turns to us with a gaze I can’t quite describe, it’s sharp like a knife but full of sorrow, "An attack on your planet is inevitable." 

Hunk sucks in breath beside me, and I glance over at him to see his gaze softening as he stares at the tiny Milky Way, and after a moment of silence he whispers, “Oh no…”

"Exactly." Allura states firmly, her gaze now determined rather than angry, "Our mission is to free _ all  _ of those planets. Coran and I are preparing the Castle to leave Arus, and during that time, you have to learn how to form Voltron so we can begin fighting Zarkon."  _ Wait, preparing the Castle to leave Arus? Like, to prepare a ship? Or preparing to leave it behind? Or… _

“Wait a second,” I ask, holding up a finger tentatively, “Sorry, but are you saying… is the Castle a  _ spaceship _ ?”

Allura blinks at me like I just asked the stupidest question on the face of the Earth, “... Yes, of course it is.”  _ Of course it is, silly me, of  _ **_course_ ** _ it’s a  _ **_fucking_ ** _ spaceship- _

Shiro's gaze is determined as he turns to face us, "The Princess is right. Let's get to our lions and start training."

Pidge starts, immediately turning to Shiro with wide eyes, "But wait! I want to talk to the prisoners we rescued from the Galra ship!" I blink stupidly. _Prisoners?_ _What prisoners?_

Coran steps forward, measuring Pidge's height with his hands, "Ah, negative, Number six! I have you ranked by height, okay?” Pidge blinks stupidly at Coran for a moment before he shoots him a glare as Coran continues with a bright smile that’s far too enthusiastic to my liking, “The prisoners need to remain in the cryo-replenishers for quite some time, they were in rough shape when we brought them in!" Pidge gives Coran an unamused look and lets out a frustrated breath, crossing his arms over his chest with a glare down at his untied converse.

"Um, sorry, but what?” I ask sheepishly as the others turn to me, “What prisoners?" 

Pidge straightens his glasses and answers in a frustrated tone, "Yesterday, when we infiltrated the Galra ship, Shiro and I freed some prisoners they were keeping on board."  _ Oh. Fuck. Right. I totally forgot about that.  _

_ Jesus Christ, how could I forget about prisoners that we freed from an alien warship? What the fuck? Is the world gone so mad that I forgot my humanity? _

Allura nods in affirmation with her arms behind her back, "Yes, and we placed them in cryo-pods while you opened the chamber to the Black Lion. They were all rather severely injured and they're unable to leave the med bay until a few quintants from now, as Coran said. It is wise only to leave them in the pod for a few hours before we take them out to give them food before returning them again, as is protocol when time is not of the essence for the healing process."

Pidge huffs indignantly, his hands clenching into fists, “I think asking them about where my family is makes  _ timing of the essence! _ ” 

Coran raises a finger as if addressing an unenthusiastic class, “Don’t worry, Number six, they’ll be out before you know it! We need to give them time to accomodate for no longer being held captive, after all.” 

I blink in surprise. _ I'm happy that Shiro and Pidge were able to free those prisoners, don’t get me wrong, but wasn’t at least Shiro supposed to be helping Keith get to the Red Lion? And Pidge guarding their exit? _

"Cryo-pods?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, and this time it’s Hunk who answers me, perking up with a bright smile towards me, "Oh dude, they're so cool, they're like little nap things that you sleep in for a bit and they just fix you right up, Coran showed it to Pidge and I last night, it was so cool!"

"That's right." Allura affirmed, her stance widening as she points to the elevators, "Now, if you’re quite finished, you should get to your lions to commence your training."

I sigh and trudge back to my elevator, dropping my armguards and helmet on the floor within to pull my chestpiece on over my head as it descends down. I take a beat to yank the armguards on, somehow getting it right the first try and picking up my helmet to pull back on when the elevator door opens to my hanger. Silver is lying down, her head raised like a regal queen, and as I approach her the white particle barrier encompassing her falls and she rests her head down between her paws and opens her jaws to let me in. I pat one of her canines, it’s as large as a  _ car _ , as I head up the stairs and slide into the pilot’s seat, shaking my head as the last few panicked strains of the tense wake-up vanish into the wind. I rest my hands on the controls and feel Silver purr beneath me, I can’t tell what for but it kind of feels like she’s excited. This brings a smile to my face as I murmur, "Alright, let's go." I press her forward, and for the second time today we fly out of the hanger and out to the front of the Castle.

Shiro, Keith, Pidge, and Lance are already outside, their lions standing in a cluster on the bridge leading to the Castle that’s about as broad as an airway strip. I touch the White Lion down, letting out a soft breath as we wait for Hunk.

And wait. And wait.

"Should somebody go in after him?" Lance suddenly pipes up, after we've been waiting about ten minutes in silence.

As if on queue, the Yellow Lion emerges from the castle, soaring over to us as Hunk's voice flurries over the com, "Hey, I'm here, sorry everybody! My elevator got stuck!"

Shiro glosses over Hunk once he’s finished, his voice commanding, "Alright guys, Let's start with forming Voltron. So, let’s just… fly in tight formation until we are in sync with each other."

Allura's voice comes over the com in a stark contrast to what it was minutes ago, her tone is practically smiling through her words, "Feel the bond with your lions, and with your fellow pilots, until six become one, and you form Voltron!"

I press my lion forward in time with the others as we take off into the sky, flying in a tight formation behind Shiro with an affirmative cry, "Yeah!"

As we soar into the sky, I'm blown away at how amazing it is to fly. Just soaring through the air like this, looking down at the ground below… it’s different than looking out of an airplane window, because now  _ I’m  _ in control of where we’re going… but it does make the height that much more terrifying. I quickly focus back to the task at hand before I think too hard on that, good thing, too as Shiro’s turning us to the side and I nearly collide with the Green Lion. We roll to the side together, and I get a glimpse of the world down below, sprawling fields of red and gold sand.  _ It sure does look an awful lot like Texas. _

However, the view gets dull very quickly when a half hour had passed, and nothing has happened.

"Woo." Hunk sarcastically mumbles through the com, before he adds, "Am I the only one who’s still pretending to be excited?"

"Clearly, this isn't working." Shiro answers, sighing softly in frustration, "Let’s set down for a bit."

"Maybe we should be building Voltron from the ground up?" Keith asks suddenly, his voice is huskier over the com than it is in person, or perhaps he’s just tired.

"What do you mean?" Shiro asks inquisitively, so Keith elaborates, "I mean, let's try  _ literally _ building Voltron, like stacking on top of each other."

I can hear Lance rolling his eyes through the mic, "What, like a cheerleader pyramid?"

Keith answers resolutely, "You got a better idea?"

Before they can start fighting, Shiro quickly cuts in, "Well, it's worth a try."

I watch Pidge and Lance break formation and touch down on the ground, and I peeled off after them to land on top of their lions as gently as I can. I can hear Silver's legs groaning as the stance is a bit unsteady, since Pidge’s lion is about a story smaller than Lance’s, but I hold her firm, which is surprisingly different as I’ve got to stay steady without digging her claws into them. The Red Lion lands next to me with a paw on the Green Lion and the other on the Blue, and the Black Lion steps on both of our lion's backs just as the Yellow Lion lands heavily on top of Shiro's shoulders, sending a butterfly effect down on us all the way down.

"Hunk, what are you doing?" Shiro asks after a moment, to which Hunk promptly replies with an innocent tone that’s almost a little too innocent, "What do you mean?"

"You're supposed to be the leg. Over there." Shiro answers, and I can tell that he’s trying to keep his voice from getting curt.

"What? No, no no no, I'm pretty when we did it the last time that I was the head, right?"

Lance cries indignantly, "You  _ literally _ yelled  _ 'I'm a leg!' _ "

I pinch the bridge of my nose as a headache starts to form when Hunk huffs, "Yeah, well, I was yelling a lot of things!"

Keith’s voice is tense and frustrated, "Shiro's. The head."

I can hear Hunk pouting through the com, "All the time?"

Shiro, ever the diplomat, answers in a gentle tone, "Let's just try it my way for now."

Hunk sighs, and I quickly compensate as the Yellow Lion lifts off of Shiro's back, "Alright, but next time I call being the head!"

“And speaking of that, Pidge, weren’t you the arm?” Lance asks questioningly.

Hunk leaps down to the ground with a mighty thud, and for a minute all’s quiet before Pidge’s voice slurs, “What, what happened?” 

“Pidge, you’re the arm. Get on the other side of Will.” Keith’s voice is growing more and more annoyed as time passes. 

“Oh. Oh, I’m on the ground. Okay, coming.” I begin to suspect that Pidge had fallen asleep at the wheel, so to speak, based on his slurred speech.  _ What was he doing, up all night?  _

I lift the White Lion's paw to allow Pidge to exit and for Hunk to take his place, shifting yet sighing in less stressed relief as the two lions are now a much more even height to stand on. Keith shifts to stand entirely on the Blue Lion’s back, and I shift a little to let the Green Lion slide in to stand on Hunk’s shoulders, my lion’s paws rested both on the Blue and Yellow Lions’ backs. Shiro engages his thrusters as he lowers his lion down onto our shoulders, I can barely hear him speaking to himself softly, "The legs, the arms, the middle... and I form the head." I feel his lion’s paws set down on the White Lion's back, and for a moment all is still. 

_ Alright, last time we did this it happened because of that weird thing, when our minds kind of stretching out towards each other or whatever the fuck that was. That’s the key to doing it. _ I take a deep breath, keeping my hands resting on the controls thoughtfully as I try to pull on the experience yesterday, when we were able to form Voltron.  _ My essence, soul, whatever, it like… spread, encircling the others. _ I reach inside myself in an attempt to find that essence again, whatever it was that stretched… 

"Feel the bonds with your lions.” Shiro murmurs in a deeply pensive tone, “Now, channel your energy into forming Voltron." 

I close my eyes and focus my will into the controls of the White Lion, searching for the integral pull I felt when we formed Voltron… But there's nothing. Not even a whisper of what was.

"Focus. Focus." Shiro mumbles into the earpiece, but the longer I grasp at the straws, the ghost of the feeling from yesterday, trying to find my essence, or even the others’, the more it seems to slip from me. I sigh, and sat back in the pilot's seat in frustration.

"Is everyone bonding and focusing?" Shiro asks like a teacher asking if we did the reading, and I realize that my sigh probably projected into the com. Luckily Lance speaks up to save me from having to explain myself, "Why did this feel so much easier before?"

"This isn't right.” I grumble, tilting my head to the side and leaning it against the back of the seat’s headrest, “It felt like… our energies, or whatever, wove into each other, like a basket. But I can't even seem to feel anyone else's right now, not even mine."

"You sound like a basket." Lance’s voice is just a mutter I almost don’t hear it. Immediately red anger sparks in me and as I open my mouth to retort, Shiro immediately cuts me off with a sigh, "Maybe we should take a break,"

Suddenly, Allura’s voice interjects, "Sorry to interrupt, but I may be able to help!” I raise an eyebrow and pay her full attention as she speaks, “Yesterday, you weren't able to form Voltron until you were in the heat of battle."

The others chorus answers along the lines of "That sounds about right," and "Yeah, I guess," through the com. 

I get the inkling I know where Allura is going with this. "Allura..." I mutter cautiously, projecting a tone of  _ don’t you dare. _

She ignores me as she continues with a bright lilt in her tone, "Perfect! Because I need to run a diagnostic test on all of the Castle's defenses, so this should help!" Her voice disappears with a flash, and I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.  _ Oh shit.  _

"Are you saying what I think you're saying, Allura?” I ask, verbally chasing after her but she doesn't answer, all’s silent.  “Allura?" 

I look over my shoulder at the Castle, and with a ripple outwards from the towering tip of the main column the particle barrier activates.  _ Oh. Shit!  _

Hunk shrieks, apparently having spotted this as well and immediately slips his lion out from underneath our pyramid. Pidge lets out a cry of shock as her lion crashes to the ground, and my lion and I lose our balance, teetering off to the side where Hunk just was which causes the Black Lion to in turn fall off my shoulders, sending us all crashing down. I flounder when all of a sudden the ground around me begins to explode with bursts of blue energy, and as I roll the White Lion onto her back I see the Castle’s particle barrier is launching bolts of blue fire, raining down upon us like a sapphire meteor shower. I press the controls forward, leaping my lion back onto her feet and quickly leaping to the side to dodge the oncoming bolts, out of the corner of my eye I can see the others scurry to get out of the way. When the bolts collide in the sands, it's like a bomb going off, fire and smoke billowing in the air and making it hard to see, and I hear the others crying out in mixed surprise and terror as they attempt to avoid the shots.  _ Shit shit shit- _

"Allura, what are you _ doing?! _ " Keith cries over the com, and through the smoke I see the red appendages of the Black Lion as it races away from me, weaving between the oncoming fire with impressive skill. I quickly press my lion forward and chase after him.  _ Maybe the others will find us and get into formation so we can form Voltron before we get blast back to Earth _ , but with the unceasing rain of blue fire it’s taking all of my concentration to do anything other than dodge and keep up with Shiro.

Allura’s voice is annoyingly chipper as she replies, "Running a diagnostic test and inspiring you!" A particularly close beam explodes the sand in front of Shiro, raining our lions in debris as her voice cracks for a moment, like there’s a bad connection, "I believe in you, Paladins! Let fear be your guide, and form Voltron!"

"Forget this! I'm headed back to the Castle!" Lance cries, and I turn to look over my shoulder and spot his lion, which was following behind me in formation, peel away and make a break for the Castle. I shout at him, breaking my lion out to follow, "Lance, no! The barrier!"   
"Stay together!" Shiro cries, but I ignore him as I press to follow Lance's lion.  _ I'll drag him back, don't worry. _ The Blue Lion dodges the blue bolts of energy from the particle barrier with surprising agility, leaping from side to side off of the rocks leading up to the Castle as it races towards the barrier. Unfortunately I don’t have near as much ease; I attempt to do the same, leaping off of the rocky outcroppings below to dodge the beams but I completely miscalculate a pounce, my lion and I immediately lose balance and nearly tumble down a dangerous slope towards the ocean that I barely manage to avoid by digging our claws into the stone at the last second. 

_ Wait, I can fly. What the fuck am I doing?  _ I flip the switches to engage the thrusters, launching into the air in pursuit of the Blue Lion.

When Lance's close enough to the Castle he launches the Blue Lion to sail through the particle barrier, but instead he collides against nose first into it. He makes a startled noise over the com, and I watch as his lion is sent flying over the bridge and into the sand of the mainland. I press the White Lion forward to get to him, barely avoiding a blast to my right that’s so close I can almost  _ feel  _ its heat.

“Ow!” Lance grumbles as the only indication of life. 

“What did you fucking  _ think  _ would happen?” I respond with full blasted sass broadcasting in my voice.

"Stop! Please stop! Have mercy on us!" Hunk shrieks through the mic.

Allura shuts him up real quick, "You think Zarkon is going to have mercy on you? He's probably on his way right now to destroy us all!"  _ Oh boy is that pessimistic. But also terrifying. Does she really think that? Does Zarkon know where we are? _

I swear under my breath and dodge another beam as I spot the Blue Lion lying in the sand, unmoving. I touch down and stand over him protectively, turning towards the Castle to watch for any beams that might come near us. Fortunately, for a few seconds we seem to be in the clear as they’re honed in on the other four lions that zoom about like terrified chickens a bit a ways away from us.

"Lance, get up!" I shout into the com as a beam suddenly fires directly on our position, almost like it was aiming at us. I use the White Lion's snout and push the Blue Lion out of the way, barely diving aside as the beams fire directly where we were.

"I can't! The particle barrier made the controls all wonky!" Lance snaps back over the com. I sigh in exasperation,  _ okay, time for a different strategy. _ Another volley of beams fire on us,  _ they’re sure getting increasingly accurate _ and with a desperate flurry I use the White Lion's claws to grab the Blue Lion by the tail to pull him away but I’m too slow, a beam blasts the White Lion in the side. The holographic panels flicker as my entire cabin rocks from the blast, and inadvertently my arms jerk to the side, dropping the Blue Lion down to the ground with a loud  _ thwum. _

Lance yells at me indignantly, "Hey, why'd you drop me?!"

I sigh in frustration and I look down to see the Blue Lion squirm to its feet, and desperately maneuver to get out of the way as another beam descends upon him.  _ Oh, so he can move  _ **_now_ ** _. _ "Are you trying to get me killed?!" Lance shouts over the com, his lion looking up at us almost accusingly. I growl in frustration, pressing my lion's controls to avoid another oncoming beam, "Fine, sorry for trying to help you,  _ jackass _ !"

"What did you just call me?!" Lance’s voice is terse and high pitched with indignant fury, but I don't have time to care about anything else other than dodging the beams as the volley becomes nearly instantaneous,  _ the Castle’s defenses are almost responding to their misses, growing more and more accurate as the minutes drag on _ . I hear the others shouting in fear as we're bombarded, and when I look around desperately for the others, I can really only barely spot a tail here, a claw there; they're scattered to the winds, no one is even remotely close to each other, we're all just trying to survive. 

_ We're never going to form Voltron at this rate. _

I roll out of the way as more beams fire down, and I hear a terrified shout over the com. I look up and watch the Green Lion falling into the sand, a little more than a half a mile away. "Pidge!" I cry, and I quickly press on the controls to go and help.

"Ah, I think I got hit too many times, my lion's shut down on me! Come on, girl!" Pidge cries, and I watch as another beam blasts the Green Lion in the face, sending it sprawling backward onto its back in an incredibly vulnerable position. I wince,  _ ouch, _ and immediately I press the White Lion forward and land on top of the Green Lion, crouched over top of Pidge with my lion's body.

"I've got you, try to bring it back online!" I call over the com, and I stare down the particle barrier as the blue bolts continue to descend on us.  _ If Lance taught me nothing it’s that trying to dodge with a lion at hand doesn’t work. I’ll just have to take a hit or two to protect Pidge until he gets his lion back online, that shouldn’t be too bad, right? _

Suddenly with a flash my lion speaks to me me, showing me a brief image in my mind:  _ the stone that hangs around my neck, another stone inside her, the blast in her side, a dull ache forms in my own side almost in response… ‘you can prevent this’.  _ I blink as the images snap away, the end of a slide show right as a bolt launches from the Castle and strikes the White Lion straight in the back. I curl the White Lion inwards and dig her claws into the ground as her holographic panels flicker again, and an instant strike of fear spikes when they shut down, the inside of my cabin going dark. I gasp but before I have a chance to properly panic the controls fire back online with a dull roar, like a lawnmower getting cranked. More images flow over me, the stone on my neck again, a similar looking stone resting in a case of metal, and another fiery pain shoots down my back.  _ I can take more with your help.  _ I jolt as the images fade again, blinking as I stare down at the controls for a hot second as a blast from the Castle explodes the sand right next to us, sending sand raining onto the Green Lion and I.  _ I can prevent my lion from taking damage?  _

“Alright, do what you have to do.” I speak to my lion, hoping that she’s listening as I shout at Pidge over the com, “Jesus Christ, Pidge,  _ please _ tell me you're online!” 

“It’s coming to, I just need a few seconds..!” He shrieks, his voice high pitched in mixed fear and anxiety. 

My lion and I raise our head towards the Castle right as another bolt of blue energy fires from the particle barrier. It strikes my lion in the shoulder, but as I brace for the cabin to shake it doesn’t, instead immediate, fiery pain explodes in my shoulder, like I just got hit with a hammer that was sitting in a pile of hot coals. I jolt and grab my arm and look down at my shoulder with wide eyes, but my armor is unaffected, nothing is amiss, yet my shoulder fucking  _ hurts.  _

"Whoa, Will, what did you just do?” Pidge speaks so fast I barely understand him, “Your lion just like,  _ absorbed  _ the blast! It didn’t even flinch!” 

I roll my shoulder with a painful wince, huffing as my breath is coming with a lot more difficulty than before, “More like  _ I _ just absorbed it! Get your fucking lion online!” 

“Shit, sorry!” My lion tenses and I grab the Green Lion to roll it to the side to avoid a blast that explodes into the sands, the smoke around us is making it harder to see,  _ I don’t know how much longer I can protect him- _ “I'm good! Move!" 

I roll off the Green Lion without second thought just as another volley descends, and when I glance over my shoulder I watch as the Green Lion leaps into the air just in time to avoid it. 

"How long can this go on?" I hear Hunk's desperate voice, tired and breathing heavily, come over the com but I can barely focus on anything other than trying to avoid the fire from the Castle. It’s getting harder and harder to see, almost the entire field of sand is smoking now from the beams of power coming from the particle barrier. I flip a switch and engage the thrusters, blasting off into the air so I can at least  _ see  _ the fire coming- 

My lion suddenly spins through the air as something crashes into us from behind, spinning head over tail through the air. I yelp and twist the controls desperately to right us, but I only make it worse as we tumble through the air and crash into the ground, sending sand flying in all different directions. 

“Sorry!” I look up through the smoke, digging my lion’s claws into the sand and rolling upright as a flash of red soars by without pause. 

I swear as a flash of turquoise explodes next to me, and I blast back off into the sky with a sharp retort, “ _ Damnit,  _ Keith! Watch it!” 

“Guys, on me!” Shiro barks over the com, and immediately I frantically whirl around in search for the Black Lion, right as a whizz of blue launches just bare inches before my lion’s snout. I twist and face the Castle as another volley zips towards me.  _ Fuck! Let’s try this!  _ I slam my controls hard to one side, my lion twisting into a barrel roll out of the way but I pushed too hard, my lion and I are spinning through the air shakily as I frantically try and right us with jerks on the controls, I can’t see, everything’s spinning,  _ fuck! _ -

The sound of heavy metal clanging together blasts my eardrums as I crash into something, which luckily halts my momentum and I’m able to right myself, but when I turn my lion’s head to the side to see what I hit I look down and see the Red Lion already barrel rolling out of the way of a bolt from the Castle.

“ _ You  _ watch it, Will!” Keith barks at me with a frustrated growl, and although I kinda wanna get pissed about it, he did just crash into me too.  _ Guess we’re even now.  _

I snap my lion to face forward, ready to dodge… but the Castle has stop firing. I blink as the particle barrier falls with a ripple inward, and as if on queue the others immediately cry out in glee and race towards the Castle. With a relieved exhale, I slowly follow, the hum of the thrusters the only sound echoing in the cabin. 

I open the hanger doors and land the White Lion inside and as soon as she lays down on the floor the power immediately shuts off, like she was just waiting to get back to go to sleep.  _ Same, though.  _

I rise to my feet with a groan and as I move my arms over my head to stretch immediate, sharp pain shoots up my neck and down my arm to the point I can feel my pulse in my fingertips. I wince with an abrupt suck of air between my teeth, peering down at my shoulder accusingly. 

_ Right, that happened. I totally fucking forgot about that. What the hell was that? My lion showed me those images, of her stone that she gave me yesterday, and another stone that looks just like mine in a metal box. ‘You can prevent this.’ ‘I need your help.’ Not her voice, she doesn’t speak, but that’s the general idea that it conveyed. _

_ So… the stone, in addition to being magical, somehow connects me to my lion in such a manner that I can take damage for her. Somehow.  _

_ Okay, that kind of sucks… but better me than her, broken bones can heal and all that noise. I can’t imagine fixing the lions is a walk in the park. _

I bend my elbow and press my hurt arm close to my body as I stumble down the stairs, my legs are a little wobbly but I think that’s just from the leftover anxiety from all  _ that.  _ I walk out of my hanger to meet up with the others, I just barely spot Pidge disappearing into the lounge behind a door next to the area where our hangers meet, where we’d opened the Black Lion’s hanger door yesterday. Rolling my shoulder a little to ease the raging ache, I follow.

The others are collected within; Lance is splayed out on the far side of the couch with his feet in the air while Pidge and Hunk lay with their arms and legs spread on the floor, like they just collapsed onto their backs and intend to stay there as they stare up at the ceiling. Keith has his feet kicked up on the table in the middle of the circular couch, his eyes closed with his arms draped around the back of the couch, simply breathing, Shiro is nowhere in sight.    
I flop down onto the couch with a wince, placing a hand on my shoulder with a loud groan of complaint, "Okay, that fucking sucked." I grumble bitterly, pulling off my helmet and tossing it to the floor without a care.

"I feel like I just got hit by a car." Lance groans dramatically, and I can't help but glare at him.

"That's your own fault for trying to go through the particle barrier." I glower, to which Lance shoots me an agitated look. He sighs loudly, pressing his face back against the couch as he grumbles, the couch muffling his words, "Too tired to yell. Rain check."

The door into the lounge opens and Allura enters with Coran trailing behind her. Her hair is in a twisting braid now, a long rope resting on her plated shoulders. She’s holding a little metal frame, like a cellphone, with a holographic screen held up in front of her that she’s staring at intensely while speaking to Coran, "Are we at full power on condenser number five yet?" 

Coran types away on a similar tiny hologram with his thumbs, "No, still just 84%." 

Allura looks up from her hologram and spots us. Immediately she brightens, her hands clasping around the phone thing as she smiles, "You did it! You formed Voltron?"

Keith sighs and shakes his head, speaking in an tired tone, "No. The shooting stopped and the particle barrier shut down, so we just flew in." 

Allura's gaze hardens, and I swear her eye twitches, "What?"

Coran cleared his throat sheepishly, "Oh, right. Sorry, Princess, I had to turn off the castle's defenses to test the fire suppressors..."

Before Allura can unleash her anger, Shiro enters the room from the hanger, and although sweat beads his brow he seems overall unaffected. “What are you guys doing in here?” He demands, “We're not taking a break!”

Allura nods, her hands on her hips, "Shiro's right! You should be training!"

Hunk groans in response, rolling his head to the side, "We've  _ been _ training! When are we going back to Earth?" 

Annoyance flickers across my features but when I sit up to snap at him my shoulder twitches angrily, losing all breath I had ready. I rest a hand over my shoulder, the pressure helping alleviate the ache as Pidge sits up instead, his hands planted on his thighs as he speaks with dark intensity, "I'm not going back until I find my family."

My memory flickers back to yesterday and earlier this morning. I was too tired to really focus on it but now that I’m here I remember Shiro mentioned after we destroyed the cruiser that he’s sorry we couldn’t find his father and brother on the ship. And then this morning happened.  _ Apparently, we have a bunch of alien former prisoners sitting in whatever a cryo-pod is that Pidge wants to question. I didn’t even think to ask about that…  _

_ Damn, I don’t ever remember being this crabby. Is it compensation for the fact that I don’t remember if I had a dream last night? _

"Guys, there isn't going to be any Earth if we don't find a way to defeat Zarkon." Shiro answers firmly, his hands on his waist as he regards us with a paternal expression, like he’s explaining to us why college is important. I look between him and Allura, both with their hands on their waists with a disapproving looks, _ wow, just like my parents.  _

Lance sits up with a loud complaint, scowling as he gestures vaguely to the door that leads to the hanger, "How are we gonna fight? We can't even figure out how to form Voltron!"

Coran pipes up helpfully, not looking up from his hologram device as he types a series of messages, "Well, I'm not surprised. You know, the original paladins fought hundreds of battles together, side by side!" He places the device in his pocket, grinning as he grabs his own pointed ears, "They were like a pack of yalmors linked at the ears!"

Lance is unamused, turning away with a foul expression that I'd equivocate to bitchy, "Wow, yeah, that's definitely not us." I shoot him a glare, and I have to restrain myself from growling  _ yeah, no thanks to you. _

Coran continues with a determined expression, holding his hands behind his back, "During the last attack, your survival instincts forced you to work as a team, but that will only get you so far. You'll have to become a _ real _ team if you have any chance of forming Voltron, and then beating Zarkon next time!" 

The others raise their heads and regard Coran with a tired gaze. Right now, my shoulder aches so bad that all I wanna do is lie down and try not to cry about it, so instead I lean back against the seat with a soft breath, closing my eyes.

"You guys should work out on the training deck!" Coran verbally grins, his tone is so pleasant and friendly it makes me want to punch him. 

Hunk responds doubtfully, or perhaps in a tone full of dread, "There's a training deck?"

"Yes, of course! Follow me, I'll show it to you!" Coran replies, and I hear the sound of the door clicking open as he and Allura move to leave. The couch make soft noises as the others stand with soft groans, and I’m vaguely aware of someone’s gaze on me. I open my eyes to see Keith holding his hand out to help me up, his eyes are tired but otherwise he’s pretty inexpressive. I flicker my gaze from his hand to his face and slowly reach out a hand, taking his and gasping as he yanks me to my feet.  _ Fuck, wrong arm.  _ I rub my shoulder with a curled lip and I rest a hand on his shoulder to keep myself steady as the pain slowly ebbs away.

"... You okay?" Keith asks with a raised eyebrow, and I'm vaguely aware he has a hand on the small of my back. The fire that starts in my cheeks is enough to bring me out of the pain in my shoulder and right myself, patting his shoulder uncomfortably as I step away before I’m immediately filled with regret.  _ Fuck. This is probably his way to olive branch after we accidentally ran into each other out there. I should reciprocate a bit to show I’m not mad at him about it.  _ I shake my head a little to clear my vision, he’s just looking at me with a raised eyebrow and an expressionless gaze. "I uh… I'll be okay. My shoulder just hurts like a bitch." I joke with a slight shrug, which immediately sends another shock of pain down my arm. I curl my nose let my arms hang at my sides instead, turning away from him to head with the others out the door where Coran disappeared through. I hear Keith’s footsteps falling in step behind me as we catch up to the others. 

Coran leads us to the training deck, which is just a couple turns away from the lounge and the hangers. Inside is massive, a large white floor and high walls and on the far wall is a large glass screen, inside I can see a small room, like a crow’s nest at airports. Coran jogs away from us through a doorway on the far side of the room, and as we glance at one another to see if we should follow him Coran appears in the room behind the glass, I watch as he puts an earpiece into his pointed ear. "Check one two, check one two, can you guys hear me?" His voice echoes in the expansive space, and I hold up a thumbs up to answer.

"Okay, listen up guys!" Coran begins, and as his voice echoes in the room a soft whir of machinery flickers to life around us. I impulsively put my back to the others in a protective stance,  _ Oh, I don’t trust like that.  _

"The paladin code demands that you put your team members' safety before your own." Coran's voice reverberates in the room as the whirring continues, "A swarm of drones is about to attack!" 

We all tense and look around frantically just as several holes in the wall, no wider than my arm, open with a loud snap. Small, white, metal orbs with one blue eye-looking piece in the center come floating out, making soft humming noises as they approach us from all sides, circling like a pack of well coordinated hornets, "It's up to each of you to do everything you can to protect the other members of your team." Coran continues, his voice is  _ far  _ too cheerful for my liking.

I glance back as we close into a tight circle, back to back as the drones begin to circle us. I feel Lance to my right and Shiro to my left, and frantically I remember the shield I saw Keith activate yesterday. I look down at my wrist and press the shield shaped button to summon my small white shield, holding it aloft in preparation as Hunk whimpers to the right of Lance, at my back, "Ah, okay, I got one of these, did everybody get one of these?"

I don’t get the chance to see what he’s talking about as the drones surround us, their blue gazes fixed lifelessly. My eyes widen as Shiro speaks low and deliberately, "Get ready."

Bolts of neon blue light zaps out of the circular drone’s eyes like lightning and I hold my shield up to my face in defense just in time, the bolts being absorbed by the barrier with slight ripples in the material. Immediately I hear Pidge cry out, and out of the corner of my eye I see a hole ripping open in the ground beneath him and swallowing him into the floor. Just over my shoulder behind me I see Hunk with his hands over his head, ducked beneath the fire of the drones… leaving Pidge’s back open.  _ Probably why he got swallowed-  _ I quickly return my focus to absorbing the orb's shots as they shift lower towards my chest. Yet as the shots continue to pelt my shield I feel more and more confident; I can see the shots coming through the shield pretty easily since its white, particle barrier like surface is transparent, I just have to trust that the others have my back.

Coran's voice warned over the din of the firing, "Protect your team-mates, or no one will be there to protect you!" Out of the corner of my eye I see Hunk getting shot in the visor by a drone, and a hole opens up and swallows him as well.  _ Shit shit, already two down- _

Lance, Keith, Shiro and I close into a tighter circle, and I keep my arm aloft to deflect the shots as they continue relentlessly. I worry over my shoulder with Lance and Keith at my back, but when I glance back I almost get shot in the face, like a punishment for looking anywhere but the trio drones that have taken a liking to firing at me. I have to focus on deflecting the shots, thinking about nothing except watching the blue eyes of the drones in anticipation for absorbing the next blast into my shield. Unlike flying in the lion, this feels much more like my element, protecting my teammates is practically second nature.  _ Even though Lance is kind of a prick today. I don’t remember him being such an ass before, but those were different circumstances.  _

I can hear Coran grinning wickedly over the system, "Time to increase the intensity!" Like the flip of a switch, the drones begin to move, circling around us so that I can’t just focus on the three drones any more, I also have to look out for the drones coming from the left. I keep my shield up to cover my face as the drones speeds picks up at a bizarrely fast rate until they’re going so fast I can't even follow them anymore. I have to deflect any shots purely on instinct, hoping that I see them fire in time.  _ Okay, less easy! _

Lance's voice rises above the din, "You keeping up over there, Keith?" I try not to get annoyed, concentrating on deflecting as Keith answers, a little distractedly as he deflects a shot from directly behind me, "Just concentrate on keeping me safe."

Lance scoffs, "Pfft, me? I own this drill. You're the one who needs to concentrate!"

I snap, "Can you two seriously just play nice for one  _ fucking minute _ ?!"

Suddenly, the drones change their collective strategy, diving down until they’re only a foot off the floor and fire on our feet. I barely see it coming in time and lower myself to the ground, using my shield to absorb the oncoming fire against my shield. Lance doesn't get the same message, I can see him lifting his feet with a yelp to dodge and the fire goes through his legs and instead strike Keith. He cries out in surprise as he's swallowed by the floor. We attempt to close ranks, and I can feel Shiro out of breath beside me as the shots keep coming, Lance presses his shoulder against mine as the drones rise back up to eye level. Lance extends himself to his right to shield Shiro from a blast, and a sudden pinprick smacks my arm as a drone fires on my exposed side.

Promptly the floor opens below my feet and swallows me up; I try to grasp onto something but the walls are completely smooth, not even a notch I can attempt to grab onto. The hole that swallowed me closes, and I slide through the tube in darkness.

I zoom down before getting sucked upwards from the momentum until I’m spit out, tumbling into a small room in very ungraceful manner. I wince and hold onto my shoulder as I sit, the dull ache now flashing at regular, pulsing intervals angrily from the jostling. I look up and see the others collected behind Coran, who’s staring out the glass below. A couple seconds after I stand up does Lance slide out of the tunnel, collapsing next to me face first with a loud groan, and almost immediately afterward Shiro skids to a stop beside me from another tube. 

Coran sighs softly, pinching his brow before he snaps his fingers, his eyes immediately lighting back up as he peers at us, "Alright, I have another exercise for you to try." I look up as Hunk comes toward me, extending his hand to help me up. I take it gratefully, hissing as my shoulder aches at the jostle but ignore it as much as I can. I rest a hand on Hunk's shoulder to give him a grateful pat once I’m on my feet, to which he gives me an amicable smile.  _ He kind of sucks at this stuff thus far, but at least he’s nice about it. _

Coran raises an eyebrow at each of us, like he’s sizing us up before he turns to Lance where he sits on the floor by the tube, “Number three, head down to the training floor.” 

Lance blinks stupidly at him, “Number three?” Suddenly he holds up a finger with a dawning expression, “Wait, you said Pidge is number six, so if it’s by height…” He turns to examine each of us before he breaks out in a wide grin, “Does that mean I’m taller than Keith?” 

“For fuck’s  _ sake _ , Lance, can you just go?” I snap, not even bothering to hide the annoyance in my tone. He shoots me a glare and stands up, brushing himself as he heads towards the door, “Yikes, no need to be grouchy cause I’m taller than you.” 

I bite my lip to keep from talking back as Lance heads back down into the training room.  _ Of all the possible insults, my height is not the thing that bothers me. _ Coran moves to stand by the window, peering down at the training room while twisting his mustache between his fingers. I move to stand at the window beside him to watch whatever Coran is going to do next.   
  
When Lance reaches the center of the training room, Coran presses a button and holographic walls spring up around Lance. Coran speaks into the earpiece with the same peppy voice he seems to use for just about everything, "To form Voltron, you must trust in each other. This ancient paladin maze will teach you that trust. Your teammate can see the walls, but you cannot." As Lance looks around him, and I realize in that moment that he can't see the walls like we can from here.  _ Yeah, go figure, you’re a genius, Will. _

"So, listen carefully. If you touch the walls, you'll get a slight shock!" Coran states, his arms held behind his back before he turns his back on the glass and faces us. He holds his earpiece away from his mouth to not broadcast his words, "Keith, guide Lance through the maze, would you please?"

Keith approaches the glass with a frown, his arms crossed as he scowls down at the maze. I can't tell if he's scowling because of the assignment, or if it's just his general broody demeanor.  _ Damn he’s hard to read. _ Coran hands Keith an earpiece like what he has, which he puts it on with a determined expression.

"Wait," Lance yells from down on the training floor, "Who’s guiding me through?"

Keith doesn't answer, merely speaking in a matter of fact tone into the mouthpiece, "Take two steps forward."

Lance's reaction is immediate, groaning dramatically, "Ah, no, not  _ Keith _ ! Why does he get to be the man with the mic?"

Coran adjusts his earpiece back towards his mouth, "Now just sit tight, you'll get your turn." 

I can't stop from frowning, grumbling, "It's like trying to be teammates with a ten year old."

I completely forgot that my voice is hooked to the com in my helmet; everyone heard me, including Lance, which I realize a second too late as Lance yells from the training floor below, whirling towards the windowed room and waving his arms in a pissed off manner, "I'm not ten,  _ you're _ ten!"

Keith interrupts, his hand on his chin as he looks intensely at the maze, "Like I said, take two steps forward, turn right, then take three steps that direction."

Lance's figure down below looks about with a clearly pissed off look, but as soon as he takes a step forward he’s zapped almost immediately. He leaps back with a shriek before he cries,  _ "You did that on purpose!" _

Keith stares out the glass, I can see his jaw tightening as he tries to keep his voice level, "You're not listening."

Lance sighs, his tone now more exasperated than anything, "You said  _ 'turn right' _ !"

Keith's voice is on edge, "But  _ before  _ that I said 'take two steps forward.'"

I hear Lance grumbling indistinctly on the mic.  _ I’ve seen enough. _ I take off my helmet, rubbing my temples and sitting on the floor so I don't have to watch any more.

Pidge is sitting on the floor beneath the glass, typing away on a computer in his lap with a load of symbols floating by that I don’t recognize.  _ Was he carrying that this whole time? Where?  _

As Keith and Lance helplessly tried to help each other, I decide now is a good time to try and get to know Pidge better.  _ God knows I need the distraction so I don’t keep snapping at Lance. _

"So, Pidge, we haven't really spoken." I begin, turning towards him with my back to the wall. Pidge doesn't look up from the screen, pushing his round glasses further up his nose, "Yeah, guess not."

I bite my lip, rifling for something to ask him about.  _ Might as well go for the big one.  _ "So, before you said that you think your family has been imprisoned by the Galra?"

Pidge nods and his eyes suddenly became very distant, his fingers hesitating over the computer keys, "My father and brother were on the mission with Shiro." 

I blink in surprise before I stumble over my words, "Wait a minute, you're a Holt?"

Pidge nods, glancing at me for a moment before looking away, "Yeah. So, I figure if Shiro was held prisoner by the Galra, that means that Matt and Dad were, too.” His gaze sharpens as he focuses back on the computer before him, his voice dropping to a low murmur, “I won't stop until I find them." Pidge continues typing away at his screen, almost faster now like he has something to prove. 

I recall the funeral clearly; like I went to Shiro's, I went to theirs. My dad was supposed to take Mr. Holt’s place at the Garrison, so I remember him being on my ass to me about being respectful and such. I didn't know the family, or anyone there at all, but I do remember there was a woman, Mr. Holt's wife, and their daughter, but I can't place if I'd seen Pidge there or not. In truth, I wasn't really paying attention, and I feel kind of like an asshole about that now; I was zoning out the whole time because it was the second funeral I’d been to that day… which isn’t an excuse but... It seems a bit heavy topic of conversation for the moment to ask if Pidge was there, so instead, I scoot closer to watch what he's doing on the computer instead. It’s black with a bunch of green symbols whizzing across, Pidge typing lines of numbers intermittently as the lettering whizzes past, I can’t make any sort of sense of it. Yet, as I look over at Pidge I wonder in amazement.  _ He knows exactly what he’s doing. _

"You really know your way around tech, huh?" I ask. Pidge nods again, not seeming to notice or care that I'm looking over his shoulder. 

"I don't know, I've always had a way with computers and stuff." Pidge's shoulders fall a little as he relaxes, probably relieved to have a different topic of discussion.

"That's pretty awesome.” I grin, “My dad always says that nerds will be the people ruling the world someday… but uh, while you aren't ruling the world yet, I'd say piloting one of the lions of Voltron is pretty close."

Pidge merely shrugs in response, "Yeah, I guess." 

I furrow my eyebrows,  _ he doesn’t seem too thrilled about that.  _ Pidge is pretty small, probably only about 5’5 at most and lanky, so he’s either hitting puberty really late, or he’s a younger than I thought he would be, being at the Garrison.  _ I thought they only took in juniors in highschool and up?  _ I scramble for something else to ask when Coran waves his hands, "Stop stop, dear quiznak! We're switching people now, Lance, you can come back up,  _ please. _ ”

Keith slams down the earpiece he had in his ear, and I raise an eyebrow at him as he turns away from the glass, red in the face with a deep scowl as Coran turns to Hunk, who’s circling the room and inspecting the different panels in the room, "Hunk, your turn!"

Hunk swallows nervously, "Me? In the shocking maze? I'd really prefer not." But apparently, whatever look Coran gives him is enough to change his mind, as he quickly made apologizes and turns on heel to head down the stairs. Coran turns to me, gesturing to the glass, "Number five, guide Hunk through the maze, please."

I blink, mumbling under my breath as I stand up, “Am I really second shortest on the team?” I dust myself off and run a hand through my hair, grabbing the earpiece that Keith had from where he left it on a panel by the window; he’s standing by Shiro now, who’s looking at him with parental concern. I look down at the training floor, the iridescent walls reflecting blue as I adjust the earpiece closer to my lips. 

The door opens behind me and I hear Lance stride in and  _ immediately _ begin complaining, “Okay, Keith, you’re the  _ worst  _ at this, that was  _ terrible _ ! Are you sure you can see the maze from here? Because I’m pretty sure I got zapped like, a hundred times-”

I whirl around to face him and hiss, "Lance, can you  _ shut up _ ?"

Lance flushes red, but before he says anything Shiro steps up with a frustrated sigh, "Enough fighting, guys! It's time to work together as a team!" Lance turns away, scowling as I return to looking down at the training floor, crossing my arms as I let out a short breath.  _ I feel kinda bad, I think I’ve told him to shut up, like, three times now… but goddamnit, his complaining is just driving me up the wall! Deep breaths, Will.  _ Hunk walks tentatively into the cavernous room below, holding out his hand tentatively like he’s blindly walking through the dark. 

I hold the mouthpiece closer to my face, “The maze isn’t on yet, Hunk, you’re good.” He blinks up at the glass owlishly but this seems to settle him a little, walking out with a bit more confidence onto the training floor. Coran presses a button on the holographic panel to his right and the maze pops up around Hunk, who stands with his arms close to his sides like he’s afraid the walls are closer than he anticipates. On the glass a hologram pops up of an aerial view of the maze, with Hunk represented as a yellow dot in its center. 

I skim it quickly, find the trail to the exit before I face the glass, "Alright Hunk, you're going to want to take two steps forward." I speak as soothingly as I can manage into the mic, but I could see Hunk worrying from here.

"So, okay, two steps, are we talking big steps? Little steps? Half steps?" Hunk begins listing anxiously so I quickly cut him off, "Just your normal walking stride, Hunk. Two steps."

Hunk swallows, "Okay... I'm trusting you! As a paladin! To another paladin!" Hunk takes the first step forward and looks around wildly, as if someone's going to jump out and grab him, before he takes the second. He lets out a cry as if he had been shocked, yet his actual form does not move.

I raise an eyebrow, "You okay?"

Hunk answers in a stressed tone, "Ha, yeah, ah, I was expecting to get shocked. Got a little scared, um... where to now?"

It takes a little while, but with some patient directing eventually Hunk and I get the hang of things and he successfully makes his way out of the maze. Coran claps me on the back with a relieved sigh, like he was holding breath, "Well done, you two!" 

Hunk looks around with wide eyes as he stands just before the door that leads back up before he leaps in the air with a hoot of joy, immediately running towards the stairs to return, "Thank god, it's over! That was so scary!"

\---

Pidge and Shiro have the best go out of everyone, they’re in and out of the maze within five minutes. This inspires Coran to give us another Voltron-team building exercise, so once Shiro returns to the room Coran addresses us with his arms behind his back, "Alright, for this next exercise, you'll need to be in your lions. Go to them then commence flying in formation around the Castle. I'll explain the rest once you’re ready!" 

“Hold on,” I hold up a hand with a raised eyebrow, “Our lions got some bashing from the  _ training  _ earlier, should we repair them or something?” I bite my lip nervously, “That might be a bit complicated, I have no idea how to do any kind of mechanical repairs, even less so than I know how to fly!”

Coran shakes his head simply, “The Voltron Lions are self regenerative, they heal themselves over time just like you do!” 

I blink stupidly, “I… how the…? They’re made of metal…?”

“They’re also kinda sentient, too, though.” Hunk says with a shake of his head and a dismissive wave of his hands, “So honestly, I’m not even gonna question it.”

I let out a pent up breath, as we all walk out of the training grounds together towards our hangers. Luckily, the maze exercise gave us all a chance to rest, my shoulder doesn’t hurt near as bad anymore and I feel less like curling up on the floor to cry and more like I could take a nap, which is a considerable improvement.

As we turn down the hall towards the hanger, Lance, holding his helmet under one arm, speaks in a snarky, pointed manner, "I'm not sure if I want to fly in formation after what happened last time, I don't wanna get  _ dropped _ again."

I let out a short breath through my nose, I don’t want to take the bait but I can’t help it, I shoot him a glare as I shift to hold my helmet under my other arm to keep my shoulder from jostling, "I was just trying to protect you! Going to the Castle was a stupid idea."

I can feel Lance’s glare drilling into the side of my face as his voice climbing another octave, "Stupid idea?! How was going back to the castle a stupid idea? It could've worked, you didn't know!"

"Well, it didn't, did it?" I snap back with heavy pronunciations on the consonants to keep from adding  _ jackass _ to the end. 

Shiro sighs and cuts us off with a wave of his hand, his voice is level and even, probably in order to de-escalate our rising tempers, "Can we  _ please _ try not to argue with each other? We're trying to build up the team, not tear it apart."

We’re silent for a beat as we enter the main hall where our hangers meet, but I can’t keep my mouth shut. Fire boils over onto my tongue as I shoot Lance a glare, and I’m unable to keep the venom out of my voice, "It's a little hard to build a team with someone so  _ shallow. _ "

Lance whips his head at me and he freezes on his tracks. I narrow my eyes at him challengingly which he gladly accepts, getting up into my face as he snarls, "Well how are we supposed to be on a team with someone who’s  _ literally insane? _ "

I plant my hands on his shoulders and shove him. It isn’t hard, Lance just stumbles back a beat, but a part of me regrets it as soon as I touched him, but another part of me is frothing at the mouth and about a second away from knocking his lights out.

Shiro suddenly gets between us, grabbing our shoulders and keeping us out of arm’s reach none to gently as he shouts sharply,  "I said enough!" 

Pidge, Keith, and Hunk deftly escape, racing towards their lions hangers as socially acceptable speeds. I swallow and cross my arms and keep my gaze firmly planted on the floor, but as Shiro’s grip on my shoulder tightens I meet his gaze. It glints like iron as he fixes us with such a hard gaze it effectively makes my feet feel like lead, "Listen, guys, I know we're tired and getting on each other's nerves, but we're a team now, okay?”

Lance lets out a scoff and my fury immediately ignites all over again but Shiro keeps his hands firmly planted on our shoulders and prevents me from reacting, so for several long seconds we don’t move. Finally, Shiro lets out a sigh and his voice drops, more gentle yet still stern as he speaks, “We will get through this together, because if we don't we're not only letting each other down, but we're also letting everyone back on Earth down." 

I meet Lance’s briefly, and the red in his face drains as his eyes drop down, dejected as Shiro’s gaze flickers between us, "Our families, our friends, all need us to work together right now. Can you do that?" I furrow my eyebrows, gritting my teeth as I look towards my lion's hanger.  _ Someone who's literally insane. _

"Yeah, I guess." Lance grumbles, giving me a sharp look out of the corner of his eye, like he’s expecting me to explode at him again. _ Of course he thinks I’m crazy, I’ve been riding his ass all day. He’s just as scared, just as out of his element as I am… I guess I could stand to at least let his shit slide. _ I let out a deep breath before I can answer, and I fix my gaze firmly on Shiro’s as I swallow down my guilt, "... I'll do better."

"Thank you." Shiro says with a slight sigh, and finally he releases our shoulders, "Now, go get in your lions and meet us outside." We move our separate ways back to our lions.

I enter the White Lion's hanger she’s still lying down with her head between her paws as large as buses. As I walk up to her, her barrier falls with a rippling wave and she opens her jaws just a fraction to let me in. I let out a frustrated sigh and run a hand through my hair as I pull my helmet back on. I enter the pilot's chamber and sit down in the pilot's seat, opening the hanger doors and guiding the White Lion out of the Castle before I let out another breath.  _ Let it go. Time to focus. _

Above I see the Green, Yellow, and Red Lions already in the air, circling the Castle. The Black Lion races by and I quickly close ranks behind him and as we get into formation circling the Castle Coran's voice comes to us through our communicators, "You'll never be able to form Voltron unless each of you has a strong bond with his lion."  _ Oh yeah, right, we’re supposed to be doing team building exercises. Glorious. _

Lance's voice sounds like the embodiment of a smirk, "No problem, Blue and I are best buds for life, for real." 

Our lions soar upwards into the sky, breaking the cloud line with the sun reflecting off of the metal exteriors.  _ I don't think I'll ever get used to this, flying upwards into the sky like this is dizzying... _

"Perfect, then you should have no problems with this exercise." Coran responds curtly before he continues with a dramatic flare to his voice, "Now everyone, put your lions into a nosedive!" I blink but follow directions, pressing Silver's controls forward obediently. We pass the clouds we ascended past and beginning to plummet, terrifyingly so, towards the ground, but luckily we are so far up I can't even see the ground yet.  _ Don’t worry, you’re in a flying machine, you aren’t free falling, deep breaths.  _

"This is an expert level drill that you really shouldn't attempt until you've been flying for years, but we're in a bit of a rush, so here we go!” Coran’s voice is far too peppy considering how terrifying that sentence is, but before I can properly process it he barks, “Activating training helmets!" 

Suddenly, everything goes black. I blink, reaching my hand up and wipe at my visor, but it doesn't seem to be something on it. I touch my visor as the realization dawns on me that it's because of Coran; he completely blocked out my vision, that’s what training helmets means.  _ Oh fuck. _

Lance's voice, risen in panic, screeches over the com, "Coran, what's happening?! I can't see!"

Coran's voice is amused, "You must learn to see through your lion's eyes. The goal is to pull up just before you crash into the ground. Feel what your lion feels!"

Hunk's voice trembles, "Mine feels scared!"

I take a shaky breath and become  _ acutely  _ aware that we were falling, fast. The wind is practically whistling in my ears, and I feel my pulse climbing. Or, is it the White Lion's?  _ Nope, it’s definitely mine, this is exactly why I hate heights- _

"You still going, Keith?" Lance asks over the com, to which Keith replies curtly, "You know it. You?"

"Going? I'm speeding up!" I feel my cabin quake as a burst of air races past me, no doubt the Blue Lion passing me on my left, "Oh yeah?" I hear Keith reply, and on my right I get a similar brush as the Red Lion follows.

I groan in exasperation, "This isn't a competition of who can crash the fastest!" My cabin shudders with a powerful breeze, and my hands grab onto my controls as absolute terror climbs in my throat.  _ How the fuck am I supposed to pull up in time if I can’t fucking see?  _

I close my eyes, since I can't see anyway there's no point, and press my palms firmly against the controls. Slowly I breathe, tuning out the fear as best as I can. I swallow it down, settling it deep in my gut as I let out a shaky breath.  _ Coran said to see out of our lion’s eyes. I don’t doubt it’s possible, all this shit that’s going on… Alright then, come on Silver. Talk to me.  _

"We must be getting close." Lance speaks in a laughably conversational tone through the com, to which Keith responds evenly, "Must be." 

I furrow my eyebrows as worry immediately respikes up the fear in my veins like a shot of adrenaline. I try to settle back down to the calm I just achieved, but it isn't working. Actually, the more I think about them crashing, the more anxious I get, and less I’m able to focus.

That's when the second heartbeat sparks to life within my chest and the White Lion purrs. Even though my eyes are closed, I can start to see the hazy outline of the rocky stones below, shrouded in gold like a monochromatic lens.  _ Fuck, am I doing it? But I’m not even remotely calm right now. Is that the key? To be freaked out? I’m good at that! _

I’m getting close to the ground, probably in a minute or two, but the Blue and Red lions are even closer, neck and neck, about half a minute from crashing into the canyon below.  _ Well, I'm not going to let that happen. _

"You two are going to be the fucking death of me." I growl into the headpiece, and press the White Lion faster in our nosedive. My stomach drops as fast as the altitude, and the more I concentrate on catching up to the Blue and Red Lions the more distinct their shapes become. My gaze is tinted yellow, and I wonder if it's because I'm doing what Coran said: seeing out of the White Lion's eyes.  _ Or maybe I'm lucky, and my training helmet is fogging up or something. _

I can see the two lions ahead, about a lion’s distance away now and I press to fall faster. My heartbeat, or the lion's, or both, escalate. I'm so close... _ the ground is getting even closer. _

"Getting scared?" Lance teases over the mic, to which Keith immediately snarls, "I'm not scared!"

I'm finally within range, I only have seconds.

I lash out my claws to grab onto the Blue and Red Lions, and I hear them make noises of surprise as I jolt upwards, engaging all thrusters in the opposite direction to slow the fall as much as I can, but we were already going too fast. I look around frantically and spot sand dunes just to the east, so without second thought I engage the thrusters instead of directly stopping us to redirect our crash from the rocky outcropping below into the sand dunes. I blink once, twice, we crash into the sand.

My head rings, and it takes me a minute to recollect the voices I'm hearing, "I win." Lance grumbles. 

I roll my eyes, laying back against the pilot's seat as Silver rights herself, the uncertain ground of the sliding sands making our footing uncertain. I see the Blue lion tumble down the sand dunes we landed in, before my vision fades into black. 

_ Okay. Maybe that was it, maybe I did see through my lion’s eyes. At least I’ve done  _ **_something_ ** _ right today. _

"What was that noise? Did they crash?" Pidge's voice crackles through the mic, and I didn't have the strength to say anything in that moment, instead focusing on not getting out of my lion to go strangle Keith and Lance.

After a few minutes, Shiro murmurs softly, "I think I'm getting this." 

Coran responds happily just a second later, "Excellent, Shiro!" 

All is silent for a few minutes until finally light flashes in my eyes, the training helmets deactivated. I blink several times as my eyes adjust, and once I’m able to see clearly I roll my neck on my shoulders with a soft groan.

"Alright, Paladins, return to the Castle, I have another idea." Coran chirps over the com excitedly. I blink as my vision adjusts to the rolling sands before us, a headache immediately developing just behind my eyes. The Red Lion has its back paws digging into the sand, desperately trying to wrest its top half of its body from the sand dune it’s buried in, and it’s  _ fucking funny  _ to watch. Keith just manages to wrest the Red Lion out of the dune he'd gotten stuck in but the force of it sends him tumbling down the side of the sand dune. I let loose a loud laugh at this, leaning forward and seizing the controls once I regain myself and letting out one last laugh, “ _ Woo _ , that was fucking funny, Keith, you looking like a cat with their head stuck on a toilet paper roll!”

He doesn’t deem to answer, instead speaking in a questioning tone, "Will, was that you? At the end there, there was this pull, like that tractor beam."

I sigh, shaking my head as I engage the White Lion’s thrusters, "Yeah it was me, you jackass. I wasn't about to let you two crash your lions because you're idiots and don't know when to stop."

"Hey, I would've done it if you didn't get in the way!" Lance clamors over the mic, and I merely roll my eyes.  _ I'm so tired of arguing. _

"So you got it, Will?" Shiro's voice echoes in my helmet.

I bite my lip as I guide the White Lion into the air, flying off towards the Castle, “I think I did, but... it was weak, and only for a couple seconds. I don't think I would have been able to if…”

"But you still did it, though!" Pidge pipes up, "That's something!"

I allow myself to smile, but I don't otherwise respond, engaging the White Lion in preparation to land inside the hanger. Once she touches down I rise to my feet, touching the White Lion's control panel as a goodbye and stumble down the stairs, rubbing my temples to ease the slowly growing headache. My shoulder still aches, but it’s dulled, I only really feel it if I move my shoulder around little too much. 

We enter the area where our hangers meet, Coran is already there waiting. He intercepts us and waves for us to follow him to our next task.

He directs us to a room on the other side of the training deck. This one is smaller, only about as big as a classroom, but it’s designed the same as the training room: barren, with high walls and mechanical seams in the floor, and a window high on the wall from an observation room.

Coran gestures to the floor as he fumbles with a collection of… crowns?  _ I didn’t notice him carrying those. _ "Go pop a quocknock in the center, in a circle, if you please, and take off your helmets!"  _ Don’t have to tell me twice. _

I sit down with a groan, popping off my helmet and tossing it to the ground carelessly, relieved that I finally get to rest, even if only for a minute. I run my hands through my hair, no longer really caring that it's an utter wreck thanks to helmet hair because, frankly, it’s been a  _ stressful  _ day. I'm not even sure what time it is anymore, it feels like we've been training for days in my bones. Once we’re seated in a loose circle, Coran comes around and places a small device on our heads, metal crowns with wires hanging out of them that connect them to each other. We have to shift closer together to not strain the wiring, but once Coran’s finished adjusting our places, he leaves the room. We all sit quietly, waiting in silence and staring off into collective space, I figure it’s because we're all relieved to be resting. I snap back to the present when I hear the speakers in the room crackle, and I look up to see Coran standing in the observation window.

"Now, the most important part of paladin training is being able to meld your minds and focus on one thing: Voltron." Coran instructs, waving his finger, "Everything else has to fade away. This technique will be essential every time you form Voltron."

I look at the others and see that their eyes are closed, and after a moment I blink as images suddenly beginning to flicker in front of them, like their own personal movie screens. "So relax, and open your mind. No walls, no secrets between paladins." Coran continues like this is perfectly normal.

There is a house in Keith's image, in the desert that looked to be near the Garrison. Lance's has an image of a lot of different people that I had never seen before on a beach. Hunk’s has sushi. His tongue is out, and he looks hungry, yet content to be thinking about sushi. Pidge's screen has an image of what appeared to be him with a girl under his arm. They looked incredibly similar, same eyes and the same hair, the only way I could tell which one is Pidge is the round glasses perched on his nose, standing a few inches taller than the girl who’s hair is longer and held in a ponytail. There’s a shuttle behind him and the edges are frayed, like it’s a photo with the edges thumbed at for too long. Shiro's image is of a spaceship, a bizarrely similar spaceship as the one in Pidge's, and I wonder if that’s the Kerberos expedition’s ship. 

Suddenly, in a flash I...  _ feel  _ everyone's minds, almost tangibly, within my own. I can sense who is who based on their... aura? Their feel, it's very innately them, and their images flow behind my eyes almost they're my own memories. I see the inside of the Kerberos ship within Shiro's head, a gleaming sun and kids playing soccer on a dirt field in Lance's, I feel Keith pressing into my mind almost like he's searching for something, but I keep finding myself thinking about how everyone else is thinking of home. I realize then that everyone else sees that I see them thinking about home, and that makes me think about home.  _ This is super paradoxical what the fu- _

I blink as my image flashed before me and I flounder. It's my parents, standing in the kitchen. My mom is arguing with my dad, something they've been doing more and more lately, probably because of me any my stupid dreams giving them anxiety every time it gets dark outside.  _ They're probably so worried... _

I feel Shiro's presence in my mind, warm and comforting, almost deliberately attempting to distract me from my thoughts. That's when I realize... I'm an open book.  _ Everyone can see into my head. _

_ Oh god, okay, everyone is reading my mind right now, okay, that's fine, just whatever I do, don't think about... _

The image of my parents fades, and instead flickers into an image of Damien, it’s his photo from the Garrison that they had in the newspaper, in the section for the growing memoriam for the pilots who followed the Kerberos expedition. I quickly tried to suppress it, think of anything else. _ Puppies, kittens... or maybe something useful, like Voltron. _ I'm vaguely aware of the others thoughts around me, wondering what the face they see is, I try to block out their thoughts to focus on Voltron but I can feel Lance nosing in, purposefully worming into my head to get more information. I grit my teeth, kicking my memory of Damien so hard mentally that it spirals away. I feel Hunk and Pidge's wonder why I'm trying to hard to suppress this memory in particular, and I have to steady my breath.  _ Of all the memories I can think about that I don't want anyone to see, that's the one. _

Coran interrupts my thoughts, "Bring your lions together, and form Voltron." I watch as Shiro's image vanishes instantly, replaced with a holographic model of the Black Lion, which slowly advanced towards the middle of our circle. One by one, the others are able to focus, their lions forming and meeting in the middle, except for Pidge and I. I close my eyes and tried to avoid Damien's gentle smile.  _ Voltron. Voltron.  _ I try to pull on that feeling yesterday, that web of togetherness when we got caught in that tractorbeam, and that seems to do the trick. I can feel the other’s essences welcoming mine into the fold...

"Keep your minds open, work together! Good!" I open my eyes and see that my lion has finally formed, but as soon as I let out a sigh of relief it immediately grows hazy, flickering in and out with that picture of Damien. I snarl under my breath in frustration, "Get out of my head." 

I try to ignore how Shiro opened one eye to look at me, how the image of Hunk’s lion flickers as he’s distracted as I speak to myself, and instead intently focus on Voltron. It works like a charm, fortunately, and my lion is reformed. I meet the others in the middle, and it's then that I realized that Pidge is still stuck; the image of him and the girl still clear as day.

"Good, keep focusing! Only one to go!" Coran encourages, and I see the strain on Pidge's face as he tries, and tries. I press into his mind and feel his worry-  _ family, Matt, have to find them, waste of time.. _

Keith looks up from his concentration, his expression unamused, "Pidge! Stop thinking about your girlfriend!"

"I wasn't!" Pidge immediately snaps as he lifts his eyes to glare over at Hunk, "Hunk was rooting around in my head!"

Hunk blinks at Pidge innocently, "What, I thought we were open! You can look in my head hole!"

Coran interrupts us with a frustrated cry, “ _Everybody has to be able to look into everybody's head holes!_ _Clear_ your _minds!_ ” I could practically hear him throwing up his hands in frustration, so I settle my breath and close my eyes. _Voltron, Voltron, not Damien, Voltron._

"Good! Almost there..." I feel our minds colluding, our lions approaching a same haven and I feel myself grow excited in anticipation as the feeling grows stronger.  _ We can do this, we can do this... _

_ ‘Now form Voltron!’  _ Our lions break apart into their individual pieces and we slowly came together, piece by piece, Red Lion in, Blue Lion in, Yellow Lion in, Green Lion...

Pidge's lion flickers back to the picture, interrupting the process with a crackle like a bad connection and Lance whines in frustration,  _ "Pidge." _

Pidge suddenly yanks the mind cap off of his head and throws it to the floor, standing up abruptly as the holograms all fade, "Forget it, I'm done with this!" He crosses his arms, scowling at the ground, "Look, I don't like everyone grubbing around in my head!"

Shiro looks to Pidge pleadingly, "Come on, Pidge, we're starting to get the hang of this."

Pidge frowns, his gaze growing distant as he let his arms fall to his sides, "I'm just... I'm just tired, okay?"

Shiro watches Pidge with a gentle gaze, "Okay." He then turns to look at the rest of us, "Let's take a break."

Coran makes soft noises over the system, like he's rifling with something, before all is silent and we relax. I take off the mind thing immediately, shaking my head as I wrap my arms around my legs.  _ Yeah, I did  _ **_not_ ** _ like that. Everyone able to see into my head, what I’m thinking about? Absolutely fucking not. I don’t want to know what they’d think of me after seeing the kind of shit I harbor. _

Coran appears at the doorway with several pouches a minute or so later, letting out a breath as he starts handing the pouches out to us, "You have been working hard. Maybe it's time to relax a little." I accept the pouch gratefully when he hands one to me, spying a little straw sticking out the side. I raise an eyebrow and suck it up experimentally. It tastes like fruit juice, but I can't identify the type.  _ An alien Caprisun? _

Suddenly, as if she sensed our quiet, Allura enters the room with her hands on her hips, the door sliding shut behind her. The braid that was draped over her shoulder before is now pinned in a swirl on the back of her head and she immediately begins barking, "What are you doing lying about? You're supposed to be training!" 

I'm a little amused in that moment that I realize the mice that attacked my dragon are sitting on her shoulders, as much at attention as she is.

Coran replies confidently, leaning on one foot with a hand on his waist "Just resting a bit! You know, you can't push too hard."

I slurp at my drink, attempting to finish it before inevitably we would have to rise again to commence training as Allura’s eyebrows immediately cock challengingly, "What do you mean  _ 'push too hard' _ ?!" Coran looks away sheepishly, twirling his mustache anxiously as Allura fixes us with a hard gaze, "Get up, you lazy lumps! It's time you faced the Gladiator."

_ Oh, I don’t like the sound of that. _

We sigh as we slowly groan to our feet, too tired to argue. Coran takes our juice pouches from us with what I think may be an apologetic gaze as we follow Allura toward the training deck.

We're silent as we file in, and I figure it's because we're all exhausted. I  _ really  _ want to take a nap, my shoulder aches… I just really really want to sleep. No, I want to lie down and stare blankly at a wall while not thinking about anything, that’d be ideal.

Allura turns to us once the door shuts behind us, her expression is fierce as she states curtly, "You'll want your bayards for this." Without another word, she turns and walks with Coran up some stairs and into the operations room of the training deck. 

We blink at each other for a moment before it collectively hits us as to what’s happening. I wave my hand by the armor on my thigh and summon forth my bayard, clenching on the handle as it extends outwards into a lance, holding it with one hand like a staff. I watch the others do the same to get their bayards out and we form a loose circle with our backs inward like we were so long ago… this morning.  _ God that was only this morning. _ I stretch my arms over my head, glad that at least my shoulder isn't hurting as bad anymore.  _ I might be able to actually do some good. Maybe. Fucking hell, I’ve never fought anything before, who am I kidding? This is gonna be a nightmare! _

Coran's voice echoes into the room a minute later, "In order to defeat the Gladiator, six paladins must fight as one!" I look around suspiciously, awaiting for what's coming and clutching my bayard tighter in my hand.  _ This Gladiator has a really intimidating name. I really don’t like this. _

Hunk suddenly cries out in terror behind me. I look over to see a metal robot, wielding a long, sturdy pole a lot like mine, rushing him at incredible speed,  _ what the hell, where did it come from?  _ Hunk rights his massive gun upward and fires away several shots towards the robot, rather wildly in fact, to the point I have to step aside to dodge a blast. Keith barely brings up his shield in time to defend himself when one shot gets too close as the robot advances on Hunk so fast we barely have time to react. It sweeps its pole at Hunk's legs, causing him to fall over with a loud  _ thud.  _ The robot touches the tip of its pole to his stomach with the end of the pole I can see the sparks flying into Hunk’s armor. Hunk cries out before, I think, he passes out, or at least closes his eyes and goes limp. I rush forward with Pidge from the other side, his expression is intense as I move with him to attack the robot. The robot turns away from Hunk right as we descend onto it and dodges Pidge as he swipes his bayard over the robot’s head, pushing its shoulder into Pidge’s stomach and instead knocking him into me before I can even raise my bayard to hit it. I collapse on the ground with a hard thud as Pidge flies over my head with a sharp yelp, colliding with Hunk where he lays on the ground and sprawls out with a pained groan.

The robot turns towards me with its pole raised right as Lance begins to fire on the robot with his bayard, blue streams of energy whizzing past and sizzling against the robot’s armor. I feel a overly warm sensation that morphs into pain as one gets a little too close, and I roll on the ground and leap to my feet as I shout, "Watch it!"

"Move out of the way!" Lance shouts back, continuing to fire as the robot turns towards Lance and races forward at a dead sprint. The robot dodges Lance's shots with ease, and once it gets close it lashes out with its pole-arm. Lance attempts to block the robot's falling blow with the gun itself, but instead the robot knocks the gun from Lance's hands, scattering it yards away right as Keith rushes in with his sword. The robot smacks Lance on top of the head with the pole, making him blink with almost visible stars in his eyes as it turns and attempts to deliver a similar blow to Keith which he blocks with his shield at the last second. I feel the semblance of an idea and frantically race forward, "Keith, jump!"

He barely listens in time as he raised his sword to block the pole, and I sweep my weapon from just behind him, dinging the robot on the knee. It twists in the air as its knee gives, but it uses the twist of momentum instead to deliver another deft smack onto Lance's head. He staggers and yelps in pain as the robot's pole-arm lashes out and sweeps, striking Lance in the side and pushing him directly into Keith, throwing them both off to the side in one fell swoop. My eyes widen in shock as this all occurred in the span of a second, I retreat a step and nearly tread on Shiro as he comes to stand beside me. His hands curl into fists, and with a thrum like that of a swinging lightsaber, his prosthetic hand begins to glow purple, coursing with power. I blink at him in surprise, but don't have time to say anything as the robot descends upon us.

It charges forward, swiping its pole down and for a moment of panic I hear Shiro gasp next to me, frozen in place. I flinch and duck to avoid the blow when a loud clang resounds in the space. I blink and look up at Keith, standing between the Gladiator and Shiro with his sword countering its blow as he gasps between breaths, "Shiro! Are you okay?" I glance over at Shiro and see that he’s frozen in place with his eyes wide and distant, almost out of terror; his head is not here.

The Gladiator takes advantage of Keith's distraction, slipping out of the block and smacking him into Shiro. I duck low to the ground as the two are sent the two flying across the deck, and I look up right as the robot turns to me. Fear spikes in my throat as something animalistic takes over, adrenaline coursing through my veins as I ready my weapon, taking a rapid breath as the robot swipes its pole down on me. I leap backwards out of the way and grasp my weapon with both hands on either side to block the edge of the robot’s pole before it crushes my feet. Suddenly, a massive shield, like the little ones on our forearms but  _ way _ larger opened in front of me, large enough to protect my entire person and completely knocks aside the robot’s polearm. I blink in surprise, but quickly adapt as the robot descends, raining blows upon the shield but it only ripples, absorbing the blows with low thunder, like a waterfall. I focus on defense, sliding back step by step away from the robot as it beats down on my shield. I frantically try to think of what to do to escape when all of a sudden the robot sweeps its leg beneath my shield, knocking my feet out from under me. I fall hard and lose grip on my bayard, the deactivated lance clanging against the floor and skidding away from me. I roll onto my side to grab it just as robot pokes its pole-arm into my side right above my hip, sending shocks through my body. It numbs me completely and my body goes rigid, and as soon as it ends everything goes limp. I feel like I just got hit by a fucking truck, everything hurts,  _ this is so much worse than the other drills. _ I open my eyes after a moment, the only sound in the room being our varying groans of pain. I see is the robot, completely rigid and no doubt deactivated, and Allura standing just behind it with her arms on her waist, her expression disappointed and cross.

"That combat simulator was set at a difficulty level fit for an Altean child!" She states with utter disbelief in her voice, glaring at us in turn from our places on the floor, "You're not even  _ close _ to working together as a team, let alone ready to face Zarkon!" 

Allura sighs, her hands rested on her waist in a stern, motherly fashion as she shakes her head. I wince, pain flaring up brand new everywhere as I stand, leaning on my bayard as I try to keep up appearances, but it doesn't matter as Allura promptly turns on her heel and leaves us behind on the training deck.

_ Okay, wow, this sucks. _   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **another chapter, another yikes. I'm sorry that I'm kind of on the nose criticizing Lance's character rn, it's honestly bc, let's be real, he was a bit of a dickhead in S1. Don't worry though, there's a thing called CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.  
> The song at the beginning is Take Me To Church by Hozier, honestly I think he's a lesbian icon and recommend a listen to all of what he's got to offer.  
> I've been trying really hard to create new pop culture references because it is the year 2118, but to save myself a little bit I'm making Will's tastes (especially in music) really old and eclectic; the excuse is because I estimate that around the year 2050 music styles drift away from classical methods (guitars etc) to solely technologically generated sound, rendering instruments just an idle hobby. Also, since the trend (thanks Disney) has been remakes on old things, I sometimes throw in what would be what's modern today (or at least something y'all would recognize) and revamping it to what I predict the spinoff would be (For example I know I say Fantastic Four, the 17th edition or some shit like that so that you know, yeah it's the fantastic four but it's like the 17th remake so it's technically something relevant to the future time period while also giving y'all something to relate to.  
> So. Yeet.
> 
> \--tense edited as of 10/21/18--
> 
> \--edited for consistency 1/11/19--


	6. Cohesion and Friction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long, difficult day on Arus, where the Paladins have been working nonstop to become a team. However, the harder they push to bond, the more friction is created between conflicting personalities. Will is on the edge, and frankly he's ready to punch Lance in the mouth at any moment. Can they overcome their differences or are they doomed before the Galra ever strike?  
> 

I thought our torturous teamwork exercises were done for the day when Coran announced that he had made us dinner. Well, only once we all stumbled to our feet after getting absolutely pummeled by the Gladiator. My stomach grumbles immediately, and I rest a hand on my middle to quell the noise as we follow Coran to the dining room.

We collapse into the closest chairs to the doorway as soon as we arrive, I don’t even care to do anything other than  _ breathe  _ for the moment. Coran whirls around, a rather mischievous look on his face as sets down several bowls of the typical green goo,  _ the only source of sustenance on the ship, it seems _ . I had tried to avoid it for as long as possible, but I'm pretty sure that it's been at least a full day since I last ate. Or at least, that's what I tell myself, so I wouldn't think too hard about how appetizing the green goo looks, for once.

"Ahoy, young Paladins!" Coran grins dramatically, standing at the end of the table with his hands clasped behind his back, "I've whipped up a big batch of focusing food! After this meal, you'll be forming Voltron six times a movement, and twice on the astral conflux!" I blink as I try to figure out what "a movement" is,  _ and what exactly is an astral conflux? _

Shiro looks up at Coran with a polite smile from his seat at the table, "Smells great, Coran. Thanks." He picks up his spoon and digs into the goo, as did the others at the table. Starving, and unable to restrain myself, I do the same, tentatively scooping up the goop onto my spoon with a frown.  _ This is gonna wreck my intestines.  _

Before I even have a chance to try it, with a dramatic flourish, Coran whips his arms out in front of him with an  _ 'Aha!', _ producing a small handheld device which he clicks, once again, dramatically. I blink as my wrists are immediately enveloped in handcuffs that were hidden in the armchairs at the table, yanking my hands away to the side where they conjoin to Hunk and Lance’s wrists beside me, they’re similarly bound. My spoon to go flying out of reach as I glance over at Hunk’s wrist, his cuff is attached to mine by a bolt of sapphiric energy, and as I look down the line I see that all of our wrists are now tied together like one long chain.

_ "Hold the phone!" _ Lance shouts at Coran, shooting him an accusatory look.

Coran grins confidently, one hand on his hip, "I saw a lot of solid individual performances today, but you're still struggling to work as a team." Coran's eyes flash wildly for a moment, a crazed grin on his face, "So welcome to your final bonding exercise of the day!" 

Hunk pulls on his wrists, causing our hands to fly together with an electronic snap, before he tries the same with Shiro on his other side. He then fixes Coran with a surprisingly dark gaze, "Coran, I want you to think about what you're doing." 

I feel Hunk’s rage immediately on a spiritual level and I face Coran with a half lidded, tired gaze,"I'm about two seconds away from whooping your ass, Coran." Beside me I’m shocked to see Lance nodding enthusiastically, more than ready to join me in beating up Coran.

Coran interrupts us before we have any more chances to complain or threaten violence, merely grinning wildly, "This one's a classic!" Coran’s pointed ears are twitching in excitement, "You get to fed each other, like a pack of yalmors!" 

Allura enters the room then, raising an eyebrow at us in amusement as she beheld the situation. The others grumble as she sits down at the head of the table with a silent, secret grin, I can't help but glare at her as she starts eating without any  _ encumberments. _

I sigh, looking over at both Hunk and Lance and releasing the tension in my shoulders, "Alright, you guys eat first, I'll just move my hands along with what y'all do to make this easier for everyone." 

"Thank you, finally, I think that's the first time you've said something smart." Lance quips, and I shoot him a glare as our conjoined wrists move towards his plate. I can't help myself, not after  _ that  _ remark, so I fake a sneeze and smack him in the face with his spoon. 

Lance starts, blinking for a second before shooting me a death glare, to which I grin back as innocently as possible. I'm pulled in Hunk's direction as he starts eating right as Lance tugs on my other side, now yelling at Keith, and I strain to not have my arms dislocated from their sockets, which does nothing good for the already sharp pain that’s escalating quickly in my right shoulder. "Hey, be careful, I can only stretch so far!" I shout.

"Sorry!" Hunk mumbles apologetically, some goo stuck to his chin as he scoots his chair closer to me until our chairs are almost touching, which helps me not have to reach as far. I roll my shoulders, mumbling my gratitude as I continue to follow Hunk and Lance's hands to feed them.  _ Man, now I’m  _ **_really_ ** _ hungry. _

Allura looks up from her goo with a deadpan, un-amused expression as Lance shouts something about Keith doing something on purpose, "Do earthlings ever stop complaining?" She huffs with dramatic flair as she spoons some goo into her mouth.

Shiro raises an eyebrow at Allura, his tone is pressed yet still polite, "Can't you give us a break? Everyone's been working really hard today." 

Keith stands up from the table abruptly, Lance and Pidge's hands moving to follow his wildly waving hands as he snaps, obviously fed up, “Yeah! We aren't just some prisoners for you to toy with like... like…!”

Lance pipes up helpfully, turning his glare to Allura, "Like a bunch of toy prisoners!" He raises his fists in indignation, causing my right hand to rise with him, "Yes!" Keith nods firmly, his tone altogether antagonistic as he glances over to his left, "Thank you,  _ Lance. _ " 

I nod in agreement, standing as well, "We’ve gotten hit, zapped, punched, yelled at, and ridiculed _ all day _ ! Is it too much to ask to let us eat our  _ goo  _ in peace?" 

Coran’s expression grows surprisingly hard, yet his eyes maintained the same mischievous glint as he barks, "You do  _ not  _ yell at the Princess!" 

Pidge retorts in kind, glaring across the table, "The Princess of what? We're the only people out here and she's no princess of ours!" 

Like lightning, goo flies across the table and smacks Pidge straight across the face with a resounding thwack. 

We're dead silent for a moment as we stare at Allura with her spoon extended across the table. The only sound is the goo dripping off of Pidge's glasses and to the floor. 

Keith's voice breaks the silence, "Go loose, Pidge!" He lowers his hand and flipped his plate of goo in Allura's direction like a bolt of lightning, but in the nick of time Coran jumps in front of her and smacks the plate to the side and off the table with one arm. Suddenly his other hand swings, and a whole ladle full of the goo that he hid behind his back slings across the table and splatters onto all of us. 

I shake my head in disbelief to dislodge the goo that collected on the top of my head as Hunk grins wickedly beside me, "Oh, it's on now." Hunk plunges his face into his bowl of goo, sucking it up into his mouth before standing upright. I let my arm go loose as he lifts his hands to his cheeks, smacking them and spurting the goo across the table like a gooey fire hydrant and utterly coating Allura and Coran even as they desperately attempt to shield themselves from the shot with their hands.

All hell breaks loose. 

Coran and Allura begin slinging goo from across the table, running and hiding behind the chairs on the opposite side. Hunk springs into action, slurping up more goo and firing off whenever Coran or Allura reveal themselves with a push of his cheeks. Lance grabs a fistful of goo and I move with his throw to add additional power behind it; it smacks Allura on the back of the head as Coran dishes out a handful of goo, directly against the side of Lance's face. I snort in laughter, unable to stop smiling as I move back and forth between helping Hunk and helping Lance, throwing in my own shot of goo and dodging out of the way when goo comes sailing my way. I nearly get knocked back when Coran sails a lob right into my face, but I’m laughing so hard that I can’t even get remotely upset about it as I try to wipe the goo out of my eyes on the sleeve of my armor. 

After a little while, we all are standing around the table. Every surface is covered in goo. 

We take a breath for a second once the dust settles, and as we glance at each other we all immediately break into wild laughter, a wonderful sound that resounds in the large room. I feel something then, the flicker of togetherness I felt when we formed Voltron for the first time as our laughter slowly fades, and I have to clutch my sides to wheeze some air because I’m laughing so hard.

Allura cries out suddenly, interrupting my thoughts, "Enough! Do you see what you are doing?" For a tense moment we all watch her, prepared for a lecture, but as she looks up at us she’s beaming as brightly as any kid on Christmas day, "You're finally working together as one!" 

Keith looks over at Lance, grinning wider than I think I’ve ever seen, "Hey, she's right." 

Lance seems to smile back at him, shrugging his shoulders, "I actually don't hate you right now." 

Hunk lifts his hand like one would in class, looking over at us with a bright grin and a raised eyebrow, "You guys thinking what I'm thinking?" 

Shiro is smiling bigger than I have ever seen before on the other side of Hunk as he answers, "Let's go form Voltron!" I feel the flickering moment of unison inside me solidify as I join the chorus of  _ "Yeah!"  _

Hunk blinks in a bashful manner, looking side to side for a moment before he grins sheepishly, "I was actually thinking about dessert, but yeah, let's do it!"

Hunk turns to step around his chair to leave but I wasn’t ready for it, I start to lose balance as he tugs me backwards over my chair, "Wait, Hunk, who-wHOA WHOA!" I topple over my chair, bringing Lance down with me who lets out a sharp cry, leading to a butterfly effect of the rest of the team knocking over their chairs and falling over onto the floor with varying levels of indignant cries. 

I sit up and laugh, hard, harder than I think I ever have in a long time. I catch my breath as the others join in, like a yawn that it grows contagious the more often you do it the laughter gets passed around and reignited with mere glances. Allura and Coran approach with big grins to help us up and unlock us from one another, the white, metal bands falling to the goo covered floor like bulky bracelets. Once Allura frees me, I pat Hunk on the back with one last laugh as I take off with the others to our elevators to get our lions. 

I put my helmet back on after I wiped most of the goo off, shaking it all over the elevator in the process and resolved that _  that is a problem for another time _ . I look around at the simple cylinder, touching my helmet as I speak on the com, "You know, don’t y’all think it’s a little excessive that we each get our own elevator to go to our lions?”

"Speak for yourself, I think it's awesome!" Lance beams over the line, and Hunk soon follows, "I'm just glad that mine isn’t stuck anymore!”

I finally arrive at my lion, racing between her slightly parted jaws and enter the pilot's cabin. I slide into the seat just as Shiro's voice comes over the com, "Is everybody ready to do this?" 

"Roger that!" Pidge responds seconds after, his voice determined. 

"It's on!" Lance hollers in excitement. 

"Yes sir!" Keith murmurs, followed immediately by Hunk's enthusiastic, "I was born ready!" 

I grasp my controls with determination, setting my gaze to the night sky that opens above as the hanger doors open, "Hell yeah!”

"Then let's go!" Shiro orders, and I press the White Lion into the sky. The others rise alongside me from their hanger doors, and I feel the overwhelming, tingling sensation from yesterday but about ten times stronger; I feel connected, literally, to each Paladin, as personally as I feel connected to the White Lion. I’m vaguely aware of the Black Lion roaring as our lions rearranged themselves to form Voltron, our essences weaving into one another like snakes on a vine.

When it is done, all is still in the evening sky, casting the rocky crevices in hues of gold and orange. I stare out at the golden horizon through Voltron’s chest and I wonder at the events that led to this moment.  _ First full day since leaving Earth behind and here we are; I think we’ve gone at each other’s throats at least a hundred times while also trauma bonding like trauma bonding’s never been done, and here we are. Maybe we can do this after all. _ "You know guys," I begin with a soft tone, "I'm pretty glad I met y'all." 

"Me too, Will." Shiro's voice answers gently across the com, followed by Lance huffing indignantly, "I didn't sign up to board the Sappy-Train!" 

I grin in response, "Too bad, the Sappy-Train has stopped for you, Lance! I'm glad I met you too, jackass!" 

Lance bristles in response, his voice rising an octave, "I do not approve of this new nickname!" 

I can hear Keith smiling over the com, "Well, it does suit you." 

"I'm going to fight  _ all of you. _ " Lance growls playfully in response, and our chorused laughter echoes in my pilot chamber. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much.  _ Honest to God can’t believe we turned around after the hell of a day we’ve had by a simple foodfight. But I can’t deny the results. I should write a self help book that’s titled: ‘How to Bond with Strangers’ and then only include two words to the volume: Food fight. _

"Alright team, I think we've earned some rest. Let's head back to the Castle." Shiro's voice comes over the mic soothingly, and I smile as we break apart from Voltron into our individual lions. I zoom towards the hanger, releasing my controls when we touch down to rub my shoulder.

"Y'all, I am  _ starving. _ " I groan into the mic, and Hunk immediately responds,  _ "Oh-my-crow-me-too!" _

“We _ literally _ just ate!” Pidge scoffs in response, his voice raising a pitch with a lilt of amusement.

I roll my eyes as I rise from my seat, "Speak for yourself! I ended up wearing the goo rather than eating it." Hunk laughs heartily over the com, making me smile broadly. I step out of my cabin and down the stairs, my lion parting her jaws from where she has her head rested between her paws followed by the dull thrum of her particle barrier activating echoes in the chamber as I stride out of the room.

We convene in the lounge right by the hangers, and as I walk in I’m immediately met with Lance’s loud voice, "Man that was cool! I'm so charged up, I doubt that I'm gonna get any sleep tonight!" Lance’s fist pumps in the air as he collapses onto the circular couch on the far end by the exit. I sit down on the right side with a loud sigh, kicking my feet up on the coffee table and leaning against the cushions.  _ Really, I am just glad that we’re not fighting. Or getting beat up by a robot. _

Keith steps over the back of the couch and sits beside me, stretching his arms on the back of the rounded couch and jabbing a thumb towards himself, "Not me. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm gonna be lights  _ out _ ." He gestures with his hand in a small sweeping gesture and I'm surprised yet happy at just how  _ relaxed  _ he looks. I'd never seen him let loose like this, he’s spread out on the couch like he’s actually comfortable being here.  _ Or maybe he’s just tired, like he says he is. _

Pidge groans as he collapses on the couch on the other side before he abruptly sits back up again look at the arm of the couch with rising interest. I blink and follow his gaze to see the four Altean mice, hopping up and down and waving their arms in a strangely human manner that, honestly, kind of freaks me out.  _ This is anthropomorphizing on a new level. _

Hunk speaks up from where he sits next to Keith and Lance on the top of the couch, sliding downward to actually sit in its seat to sidle next to them, "I just want you to know, that I realized when we were in Voltron, we're brothers, man!" Hunk wraps an arm around Keith and Lance, hugging them to himself tightly. Both of their eyes widen, looking at Hunk incredulously as he squeezes, "You know? Like, we're totally connected. No secrets, no barriers, nothing!" 

_ No secrets. No barriers.  _ I feel my throat tighten as I watch the three of them gush, and I can't help but think about the mind-melding exercise from earlier. I know they all saw that I had inadvertently thought of Damien, and I don't know what that means for our future as a team. They know he exists, all they'd have to ask is one question, really  _ any  _ question, and they'd lose respect for me.  _ Or I’d just absolutely break down and they’d just think I’m crazier than they probably already think I am. Ugh, can’t I have stayed happy for one more minute? _

My gaze snaps back to the present as Hunk murmurs affectionately, "I love you guys!" 

Keith smirks as Hunk releases his hold on him and Lance, "Did the G-Force mess with your head a little bit?" 

Hunk grins sheepishly, "Yeah, maybe a little. It's been a tough few days." Shiro rises from his seat next to Pidge, who’s sitting right next to the mice and seems to be petting their heads with his fingertips. Shiro stretches his shoulders and rolls his head, apparently getting ready to head to bed himself. Keith noticed this and escapes Hunk's grasp, climbing over the back of the couch to leave with him. I stand as well after a moment, stretching my arms over my head as Shiro turns to Pidge, who hasn't moved from where he sits petting the mice, "Going to bed, Pidge?" 

"In a minute." Pidge replies, his expression relaxed and a light smile on his lips. 

"Good work today." Shiro says with a proud, fatherly smile, "We're really coming together." He turns his back to Pidge and exits the room with a relaxed yet crisp stride. Hunk and Lance stand up from the couch together, talking animatedly as they leave the room about  _ whoa Voltron is super cool  _ or something I don't catch, nor really care to hear as I move towards Pidge.

I look at Pidge with a genuine smile, "Hey, Pidge? I'm really glad you're with us." He looks up at me with a sheepish grin, and I give him a look of candid kindness, "I know it must be really hard, with your family and all, and I just want you to know that we're here for you.” 

Pidge blinks at me with a surprised expression, before he gives me an incredulous smirk, "Are you sure the G-Force didn't mess with  _ your  _ head a little bit?" 

I roll my eyes at him teasingly, patting him on the shoulder, "Goodnight." I turn and walk out of the room, the warm and fuzzy feeling of teamwork fresh on my mind. 

_ Now, time to find the kitchen, or wherever Coran is getting the green goo, and eating all of it. I'm so fucking hungry.  _

I wander the halls for a little, peeking into rooms and trying to find which one has the food in it. How hard can it be to find a kitchen, right? Well apparently much more difficult than I anticipated, because after about twenty minutes I'm no closer to finding it than when I started. 

_ If anyone knows where the food is, it's Hunk.  _

I backtrack through the Castle and enter our living hall. I try to think back at which door is his, but I find it pretty quickly when I see a door with a poorly drawn, yet adorable yellow lion on the front door. I smile a little,  _ that’s just so cute. _ I reach up and rap on the door softly, and after a few minutes he opens it with a questioning gaze; he’s untying his orange ribbon from around his temple, as he appears to be getting ready for bed, "Oh, hey Will, what's up?"

"Hey man, I can't find the kitchens for the life of me, and I'm going to pass out if I don't get something soon. Do you know where it is?" I ask, eyebrow raised with an apologetic grin as Hunk taps his chin thoughtfully.

"Uh, yeah, actually, here, I'll show you, I was just thinking about having a snack anyway." He walks out of his room, waving for me to follow as he leads me down the hall. 

"Thanks, Hunk, I really appreciate it." I say with a smile, to which Hunk merely shrugs, "Of course, not a problem." 

_ Okay. Well, this seems like a good time to get to know him better. Keith’s turn, now Hunk’s. Pidge, Lance, and Shiro will come later. _

"So, Hunk, you were a pilot at the Garrison?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

Hunk shakes his head, taking a left down one of the many Castle hallways, "No, I was just a systems trainee. I didn't really wanna go to space, or really do anything dangerous… but I do like to work on the stuff that  _ takes _ people into space!" Hunk grins a little, twiddling his thumbs as we walk, "I'm not really much of a flier." 

I smile kindly at him, "Well, couldn't have fooled me! You pilot the Yellow Lion really well." 

Hunk laughs sheepishly, "Yeah, well, it helps when my lion kind of gives me the instructions along the way. Does your lion do that too?" He turns over to look at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh God, yeah" I nod, which seems to set Hunk at ease, "I don’t think I could get her off the ground if she didn’t. I've never even stepped foot in a flight simulator, so this is  _ way _ out of my element for me."  

Hunk shrugs nonchalantly with a vague gesture in my direction, "Well, I think you fly great!" 

I laughs softly under my breath, "Thanks, Hunk, I appreciate that." 

Hunk takes a left, mumbling under his breath about mice before he opens a door into what I would expect from an Altean kitchen: white counters and white walls with divets in the sides for cabinets, but what’s strange is that there’s what appears to be several fire hoses lining the wall on one side. Hunk pushes against the wall by the door where a mechanical crease is and a shelf pops out with a rush of air. He reaches inside and hands me a bowl, and when I peer under the lip of the shelf I see that there are a whole bunch stacked within. Hunk grabs one for himself before he turns to one of the fire hose handles sticking out of the walls, and squeezes the handle like it’s an old timey gas pump. Green goo plops out into the bowl, making kind of gross squelching noises that make me I curl my nose, but I'm so hungry that I really can't afford to be picky.

"Yeesh. This is gonna mess up my intestines something fierce." I joke. Hunk giggles as he hands me the bowl he filled of goo. "There's spoons in there, too." He turns back to the goo hose and fills his own bowl while I turn to the embedded shelf in search for the spoons. 

"You know, even though it's a thousand years old... this tech is amazingly futuristic.” I think at loud to Hunk as I fish two spoons out of the drawer, “Like, can you imagine if we went back a thousand years back on Earth? I think around that time it wasn’t even colonial, we were barely out of the medieval ages!" I plop a spoon into my bowl before holding out the second to Hunk as he finishes getting goo.

He takes it gratefully, raising an eyebrow at me as he shovels some of the goo into his mouth, "Yeah, I've been thinking about that, it's really crazy. I think it's because their whole civilization must have been really old, or based a lot of effort and time into R&D, or something, because like... I don't know, this is just super insanely advanced, especially since the Galra seem to have the same tech as the Castle does a thousand years later. Or, at least, something similarly advanced." 

"Right?" Hesitantly, I spoon some of the green goo into my mouth. 

It is... surprisingly good. It isn't sweet, but it isn't salty either. I have no idea what it is that it reminds me of, it has the consistency of a slushie, but it isn't cold, with the texture of chunky stew but it is all the same consistency, again, like a slushie. It's absolutely bizarre, but it's good, and I'm starving. "Okay... this is good.” I mumble around a mouthful of goo, and once I swallow I raise an eyebrow at Hunk, “What does this taste remind you of?" 

Hunk raises an eyebrow at me, his head tilted to the side, "You know, I don't really know. It doesn't really have a taste, but it also... tastes. I don't know, I've never had anything like it. It has a very nice texture that kind of glides on the tongue, I didn’t expect it to be so firm but it’s still pretty easy to eat." Hunk shrugs, slurping at the goo.  _ That’s a pretty in depth analysis.  _ I scrape the bottom of my bowl for the last of my rapidly diminishing bowl,  _ God, I'm so hungry, this isn’t nearly enough.  _ I head over to the hose to get some more.

"Whoa man, you may wanna slow down, it's more filling than you think." Hunk warns as I squeeze the handle. Goo slorps out of the nozzle and into the bowl, and my hand jerks when I shut the hose off.

I wave him off as I turn back away from the hose, "I don't think I've had anything to eat since I had breakfast before school back on Earth. Except that space juice Coran gave us this afternoon, I guess, but I'm  _ famished. _ " I slurp at the goo and giving Hunk a look, daring him to stop me. 

Luckily, he doesn't rise to the challenge. "Okay, your stomach won't thank you though." He finishes the last of his goo, after which he approaches the rectangular counter in the middle of the room. He presses against the underside of the counter and a line of shelves spring forth. He points to it as he closes his bowl and spoon within, "This is, apparently, the dish washer. It puts the dishes back in their place afterwards too.  It's pretty cool!" Hunk grins as he closes it again, before he turns towards the exit, "I think I'm gonna hit the hay now. I'll see you in the morning!" I smile a little and wave goodbye as he walks out of the room, slurping up my goo happily as my stomach grows less and less upset with my lack of nutrition from the past day or so. 

I finish my second bowl and go searching for the button that Hunk pressed to put my dishes away. After I’m done with the dishes,  _ that is pretty cool that it puts it away for you _ , I head back towards my room, my eyelids growing heavier and heavier with each step. Now that I'm full, it was only a matter of time before I passed out. 

I kick off my shoes and pull off my jeans quickly, sleeping in my t-shirt and boxers as soon as my head hit the pillow. 

\---

I'm... awake. 

I open my eyes and take a soft intake of breath as I roll onto my back from where I was lying on my stomach, slowly blinking at the ceiling. 

_ I don't feel like I'm dreaming... I'm awake. This is real. But I don't remember or even feel like I had any dreams last night. But that can't be true, I always have dreams! _

_ I don't remember that ever happening to me before, even last night I'm not sure because of the whole wake-up test Allura and Coran did, it ripped away any semblance of a dream I may have had. _

_ This... this is  _ **_nice._ **

I roll out of bed with a soft noise, running a hand through my hair with a sleepy grin.  _ Is this how people normally wake up? Just like, blacking out and then waking up feeling rested? What the fuck?  _

My hair feels dirty, which makes sense since the last two days I’ve done more physical exertion than I have since I played field hockey in middle school, so I resolve to go looking for someplace to shower. I found the bathroom yesterday in the middle of training, and I remembered that it was big, with many doors with symbols on them that I didn't understand. But, now is the time to understand. 

I trudge down the hall, barefoot and in my boxers, and enter the bathroom. 

Lance and Hunk are within, talking animatedly to themselves about forming Voltron yesterday, not seeming to notice me as I enter. They're standing in front of a white counter, much like what was in the kitchen, except there are hollowed bowls engraved into the counter, a spout of water coming from the middle instead of a faucet like a fountain, and a massive mirror’s mounted on the wall in front of it.  _ At least the Altean technology is somewhat similar to what I'm used to. _

"-I'll never understand how Voltron works, it's seems to beyond any scientific understanding!" Hunk huffs in frustration, beginning to brush his teeth as Lance shrugs, patting his face with something that looks like a creamier version of the goo we ate yesterday. 

"Yeah, I don't know, it's pretty- Oh hey, Will- weird, actually, because it seems to be really, like, magical, actually." Lance replies with a wave of his hand, bending over a white counter and splashing his face with the water that spills from the little fountain of water in the counter. 

"Hey, where did you get the toothbrush?" I ask Hunk, who points to the wall next to Lance. I walk over as he speaks around his toothbrush, "But there's not weawy any mageh, righ? Ehs gowa be shiensh!" 

Lance gives Hunk a look, "I still can't understand you when your mouth’s full." I spot the seam in the wall, usually where there are embedded supplies, and within are little labeled sets of toothbrushes and a bottle of fluid, I assume toothpaste. There are toothbrushes of different colors, the colors of each Voltron lion, and I looked over to see that Hunk is using a yellow one.  _ I guess _ _ we're stuck with the colors we get.  _  I grab the white toothbrush in resignation and the bottle next to it, and come to stand at one of the three Altean sinks to brush my teeth. 

Hunk spits into his sink, rinsing his mouth before he speaks again, "Yeah, but magic isn't a thing, it's gotta be science! All magic is just science that we just don't understand it yet."

I shrug, weighing in my two cents as I pour the fluid on my toothbrush. It's white and chunky, and I pray I'm right about this being toothpaste, "I don't know, Allura doesn't seem to know too much about it either. She said it herself, it's beyond what science can explain." 

Lance seems to bristle, "Hey, Allura knows a lot of things, she's a smart lady!" I give him a tired look as I brushed my teeth, looking at my reflection in the mirror instead of dealing with his heterosexual nonsense. 

My red hair is absolutely wrecked, curled up to the side and sticking up in odd angles, probably from all the helmet wearing I've been doing lately. I pull on the skin under my eyes, which are my favorite feature as they're hazel and tend to morph into more greens, browns, and golds depending on the atmosphere. I can't tell if it's the lighting or if there are actually bags forming under my eyes, so I let it be and continue to brush my teeth with one hand calming my curled hair. I'm a proud ginger, even though I hated the freckles that splashed across my nose for most of my life, now I find that they accent my features well, especially how on the left side of my face they seemed to curl around my eye. I try not to get wrapped up in how I look, picking apart the things I don’t like, especially since it consumed my being for so long. But, sometimes I have to remind myself of things that I love about myself because, you know, self care.

"So, Will, actually, I've been meaning to ask you, did your parents ever talk about us at home?" Lance asks, raising an eyebrow at me as meet his expression. Now that it's morning, I'm not nearly as upset with him as I was yesterday, drumming it up to all of us being exhausted, tired, and strained.  _ I’ll try to keep an open mind instead of writing off his character too quickly. _

"I don't know, they only ever call people by their last names so I can’t really associate people to stories." I answer after I spit into the sink, rinsing off my toothbrush and returning it to my mouth as Lance hops excitedly from foot to foot. 

"I'm Lance McClain! McClain, did they ever mention me?" 

I practically choke on my toothpaste, coughing hard as I rinse out my mouth in the sink before I cough out, "Wait,  _ you're  _ McClain?!"

Lance gasps, "So they  _ did  _ talk about me! What did they say, I wanna know, was it about how good I was,  _ a natural flyer _ ?" He strikes a dramatic pose, with his arms behind his head and a charming smile flashing at me like I'm a camera. I struggle to compose myself, looking in the mirror as I evaluate my choices. 

I heard my parents speak often of a McClain, a real headache. The most prominent memory that I can recall off the top of my head is once my father sighed as he tossed McClain's test to the floor dismissively,  _ 'I don't know how this kid even got into the pilot's program, is this the bottom of the barrel?'  _ My mom had said something like, ' _ He's trying his best, Bob,'  _ to which he said  _ 'Damn, I certainly hope not, because that's just sad.' _

I look over at Lance, his wide, hopeful eyes and bite my lip.  _ Would sharing that benefit him in any way, other than just hurt his feelings?  _

"No, no, it must be a different McClain, sorry." I clear my throat quickly, but before Lance can press me I turn to Hunk, "Hey man, do you know where I can take a shower around here?" 

"Hey, we aren't done!" Lance huffs, but Hunk brushes him off as he points towards a winding hallway, towards the toilets, "The rooms with the blue doors are the showers.  _ Oh,  _ and to save your life, trust me on this, when you are choosing the shower setting, choose the button that looks like a shower head.” I blink at Hunk with a raised eyebrow, and he merely shakes his head, “ _ Trust me _ , you don't wanna see the others." Hunk shudders, looking away as he picks up his stuff to leave. 

"Thanks Hunk!" I say with a bright grin, and I quickly escape Lance's continuing insistence by hurrying towards the blue doors.

There are 6 shower rooms, which apparently is the magic number in this Castle. Within each of these shower rooms are three sections, each separated by a slightly opaque, but also slightly see-through glass between each in each shower section. The first section is apparently for my stuff, as inside is nothing but a bench in the middle, so I strip down there, tossing my clothes to the floor. When I tug my shirt off a weight falls to my chest, and I blink down at the White Lion’s stone hanging from its chain. I blink and raise an eyebrow at it, grasping it in my hand with a finger pressed against Kevin’s hardened wings curled around it.  _ I’d totally forgotten I was wearing this. Probably shouldn’t while I’m in the shower, that’s not good for metal.  _ I take it off and set it with my stuff as I enter the second section. It’s big enough for 3 or 4 people to stand comfortably within, but when I look around for a nozzle, a faucet, anything, I spot nothing; it's just a room. 

I spot a button on the side, and when I press it it lights up a little holographic screen. There are at least 50 options, with little symbols and Altean descriptions.  _ Jesus Christ, this one symbol literally looks like a bonfire.  _ I scroll to the bottom where I find the symbol that looked like a classic shower-head, like what Hunk said, and when I press it the hologram detracts. A shower head appears in the ceiling overhead, raining down warm, gentle water onto me. 

Needless to say, Altean showers are  _ amazing.  _

The third room happens to be just like the first, but it’s absolutely  _ full  _ of towels, like from the floor to the ceiling. I let out a sigh of relief, worried that it would be a massive blow-drier in there or something, I wouldn’t put it past Alteans. I take one and dry myself off before I go back into the first section. I briefly thought about just leaving wearing just the towel around my waist, but I didn't want to risk accidentally seeing anyone as I'm leaving. I'm proud of my body now, but old habits die hard, and also we’re still all pretty close to strangers.  _ No need to go around near streaking just yet, save that for when we’ve trauma bonded, like, ten more times.  _ So,instead I pull on my old clothes and resolve to change back in my room. 

And boy, am I glad I did, because Keith is in the bathroom brushing his teeth when I walk in. He has these adorable pajama pants that are all black with little red lions running around on them, and a red t-shirt with the symbol of Voltron that is on all of our suit chests. 

"Okay, where is everyone getting these cool Voltron themed clothes?" I ask, resting my towel on my shoulders as I approach and touch the hem of Keith's shirt. 

He blinks at me in surprise on spotting me, but merely shrugs as he turns his back to me and spits into the sink before he answers,  "In your dresser?" 

I blink, "Alright, fair point. See you at training." I wave to him, but he doesn't respond, merely brushing his teeth and scowling at his reflection in the mirror.  _ Must not be a morning person. I didn't think I was a morning person either, but I guess getting a decent night’s sleep can do that to you. _

I return to my room, and shut the door to change. I rummage in the dresser for my personalized Voltron swag, and find mostly of varying shades of white and gray, much to my disappointment.  _ Really, it's better than yellow, yellow and gingers do not mix well, but green would look better. White is just... so boring, I look like a mime. _

There are several types of clothes that I quite like, including pants that had a similar texture to jeans, but more stretchy. I pull some gray ones of those on, but they’re surprisingly tight around my knees and thighs.  _ I guess Altean science can only predict how clothes fit me so much, but of all the places they wouldn’t fit well I wasn’t expecting it to be there.  _

I tap my Voltron armor and summon my bayard, using the sharpened tips on the ends to cut some breathing room at my knees and thighs of the pants. I almost cut myself twice, but it works, giving me some room to breathe and giving me a grungier look than just the straight-gray.  _ Good riddance, that's really not my style anyway. _

I pull on a soft, white, Altean shirt, I think there is some type of decoration on the front but I can’t really see it, rather I feel it between my fingertips. I glance over at my flannel that I'd discarded the day before and pull it on, loving its warmth and familiarity enveloping my being; a little reminder of home. I go to look for some breakfast, or the team, whichever I find first.

I head to the dining room to see if that’s where people are, and I’m pleasantly surprised to see that many were; Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Allura, and Coran are sitting at the table, eating green goo out of bowls.  _ Man, this goo is gonna get old fast. Is that all we have?  _

"Morning, friends." I murmur warmly, approaching and sitting down at the table. 

Coran pushes a bowl of goo towards me from across the table. "Good morning, number four!" He grins widely at me, slurping up the green goo from beneath his absurd mustache. 

I raise an eyebrow, "Wait, so you said you ranked us by height. You called Pidge number six.." I look around at the others at the table and raise an eyebrow, "Who am I taller than?” 

Coran wags a finger at me, "Well, Shiro is number one by several plebs, then Hunk, Lance, you, Keith and Pidge! Only by a pleb or two, though, if it’s any consolation." Coran grins in a knowing manner that I can’t quite decipher.  _ What the fuck is a pleb.  _

I merely huff in response, "Well, that sounds pretty la-" 

Shiro quickly clears his throat, "You know, Coran, I think those exercises we did yesterday were good for team-building." 

Keith and Lance enters at that moment, for once, not arguing.  _ Maybe Lance is taking my advice on being nicer to Keith to heart.  _ They slide into seats nearby wordlessly and go to town on the goo, and now that the team is all here this seemed to encourage Shiro to expand his thought, "Do you have any thoughts on how we should warm up today?" 

Coran contemplates this for a moment before he snaps his fingers, "I'm thinking you lot may want to warm up with the mind-melding exercise we did yesterday! It'll help you all feel closer to each other as a team, and make forming Voltron easier!" 

Shiro nods with a polite smile, "That's an excellent idea, Coran."

I feel my blood pressure spike at the mere mention, and I set down my spoon with a  _ crack _ , "Absolutely not!" 

The others look at me with mixed confusion in their eyes, and even Coran looks baffled. For a bare moment I’m embarrassed, at least until Coran speaks, "Whatever thoughts you have to hide shouldn't matter if you're focusing on forming Voltron, right?" He asks with an intrigued raise of his white brow.

I shake my head firmly, crossing my arms and stubbornly setting my jaw,"I don’t care, I’m not doing it." 

Shiro furrows his eyebrows, looking at me with a worried expression, "I know it seems invasive, but if it helps us to grow stronger as a unit, it doesn't hurt for us to-" 

"No!” I shake my head again more firmly, “No, I'm not going in there!" I shout, rather loudly, much louder than I originally intended, and immediately regret it. The others look at me as if I had massive fangs and am prepared to rip out their throats.  _ They think I'm crazy.  _

I shake my head, setting my jaw, and stand up from the table, "Do what you want, but I'm not joining." 

"Will-!" I ignore Shiro’s coaxing voice, quickly turning on heel away from the table and leave the room, marching as fast as I dare as my cheeks flare in embarrassment. 

_ There's no way I'm going in there. I don’t want to give the others a bare glance at the shit that goes on in my head, especially because all I thought about was the  _ **_one thing_ ** _ I don’t want strangers to know about me. What’s worse is what this reflects; even months later Damien still has a hold on me. He's dead, I know it, long gone and out of my life, chapter closed, next page, but he still haunts me and I  _ **_hate_ ** _ it.  _

I walk as fast as I can, just trying to get some distance between myself and the others but I don't have a clear plan in mind at where I’m going so I end up at the training room. Now I don't really feel like getting beat up in that moment, but I  _ do  _ want to hit something. I look around the room, wondering if there's any way I can initiate the system, but there are no buttons around, and I can't see any seams that hide cabinets.  _ Stupid Altean tech.  _

I kick the wall to release some tension, letting out a yell as I kick the wall once, twice, thrice, until my toes are numb within my converse. I lean against the wall, feeling no better as I slide down to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. 

_ I hate myself.  _

_ What kind of Paladin am I being by dwelling like this? Saving the fucking world is more important than my fear of others seeing in my head, seeing the things I’ve done and things I’ve experienced, but that fear just leads into more fears, like how the fuck am I supposed to be like the others with no barriers and no boundaries when my whole head is constructed with barriers and boundaries? I’ve got boxes and storage bins piled up with labels like “don’t open” or “highly unstable emotions ahead!” How can they trust me? How the hell will they  _ **_like_ ** _ me, knowing about Damien and I…  _

I growl as fresh rage rekindles inside me, whirling back to my feet to kick the wall again with an angry, frustrated yell, literally trying to beat this feeling of helplessness out onto the wall. It isn't really helping, but I appreciate the growing pain in my foot more as a distraction from my thoughts than actually releasing some of the tension I'm feeling.

"Er, hey, man." I turn to see Lance walking into the room, speaking in a tentative manner, almost as if he's speaking to a caged dog rather than a person.  _ That's probably exactly what he thinks of me.  _

"Hey." I answer, a little defensively, but frankly I was not in the mood to give a shit at this point. 

I’m frankly surprised someone came after me, even more so that that it’s Lance, considering we were literally about two seconds from a full on fight yesterday. But it does make me question why exactly he’s here, since we aren’t exactly buddy-buddy. I cross my arms from where I stand by the wall and regard Lance defensively, "Shiro didn't send you, did he?" 

Lance shakes his head, "Well, no; he said no one should bother you until after you cooled off, but I don't really follow the rules, much." My frown relaxes as I watch him, confusion mixing with my frustration until all I can do is sigh, merely shaking my head. He pauses a bit of a distance away from me, and I lean against the wall again and slide back down to sit on the floor. Lance moves to sit down on the floor beside me, crossing his legs comfortably and I don’t move to stop him. He's in a blue t-shirt with a white Voltron symbol in the center, and his jacket from Earth over the top. It looks very comfortable, and I’m a little jealous that his lion’s color is so flattering on him.  _ How nice to not look like a walking curtain. _

"Thanks." I mutter after a minute, wringing my hands anxiously as I let out a pent up sigh. "I didn't mean to blow up back there, it's just... after that first time doing that exercise, I'm really afraid of what y'all will think of me if..." 

"Don't want us to see what's in your head?" Lance asks inquisitively. I look up to snap at him but his gaze is gentle rather than teasing, like I was expecting. 

I huff in embarrassment, crossing my arms, “Not really, more like… I can't help thinking about all the things I  _ don't  _ want any of you to know when we're in there, where you all can see them. I don't want my past, my mistakes to…” I furrow my eyebrows, staring intently down at my feet, "I don't want that to change how y'all see me, you know? We’re trying to be a team and all that, I’m worried digging around too much will… compromise that." I clear my throat and look at anything other than Lance.  _ I hate feeling vulnerable, especially where Damien is concerned. _

"Yeah, I get it." Lance answers, shrugging nonchalantly as he turns to look at the opposite wall, "You can do what I do and think instead about something important to you. Something you want to save… it helped when I was trying to focus back on forming Voltron." I venture a glance at Lance as he speaks; his expression is far away and his eyes glimmer a soft baby blue in the overhead lighting, surprisingly authentic and open and I think it’s because he’s mentally somewhere else. Whenever I look at Lance, he always portrays this persona of  _ 'don't worry, -insert finger guns here- everything is FINE!'  _ but I get the sense now, watching his faraway look, that maybe that’s something he hides behind.  _ What he was thinking about in the exercise… I saw a bunch of people, kids playing on a dirt soccer field… I guess he’s trying to mask how much he misses Earth. I can see it, etched in his features.  _

"Do you think about your family?" I ask, remembering all the faces from Lance's memories during the exercise. He nods, his eyes on the floor, "I worry about them… but I don't let it get to me. I'm saving the world, you know?" He glances over at me as a slight smile plays his lips, "They'd be proud of that, and want me to stay.. But I still miss them." 

"Wow,” I murmur in complete surprise, “That's... that sounds really mature, actually." 

Lance bristles, but it’s playful and relaxed, "Hey, I can be mature! I just... don't feel like it sometimes!" 

I allow myself to laugh, smiling a little as I look down at my hands. He doesn’t say anything further, and so instead I try to change the conversation, something minute and irrelevant to the here and now, "You know, for the first time in my life I didn't have any dreams last night."

Lance raises an eyebrow, "You said you had dreams every night, though."  

"Yeah, it's so weird!" I exclaim, waving my hands excitedly, "I just... went to sleep.. and then woke up refreshed! No horrible, emotionally draining decisions, no more nightmares, just... rest." I raise an eyebrow back at Lance, poking fun at myself with a jesting tone, "I think my crazies are wearing off." 

"Maybe, but don't worry, there’s plenty left." Lance taps my skull and I roll my eyes with laughter, smacking his hand away and moving to wrap my arms around my knees as we sit in comfortable silence for a little while. 

_ Seeing him now, joking and friendly… it doesn’t feel like it’s at my expense but I do think that he’s being very intentional about his tone. He’s trying to help me feel better… And it’s working.  _

_ Even after yesterday where, admittedly, I was kind of being a bitch about his whining.  _

"I'm sorry for being so harsh to you yesterday." I begin suddenly, feeling compelled as I meet Lance's confused gaze, "I just... I guess I just wrote you off as a selfish jerk, and everything you said or did just confirmed my suspicions.” Lance frowns a little at me but for once he doesn’t retaliate or respond with snark, so I take that as confirmation for me to continue, “But I was wrong.” I glance over at Lance and tilt my head to the side towards him, “No selfish jerk would come and talk down a crazy person when no one told him to." I fumble a little on my words and look down at my feet, moving to mess with the laces of my shoes to give my hands something to do. 

"Aw, have I finally grown on you?" Lance's smile could best be described as a shit-eating grin.

I give him a deadpan look, "Like mold." 

"But I still grew on you, aha!" Lance flashes a finger gun at me. I roll my eyes so hard I'm surprised they don't up and leave my skull. 

"You know," I venture, a smirk spreading across my face, "I think that you hide behind that facade of yours so that others don't know that deep down, you're actually a bit of a warm, emotional softy, aren't you?" 

Lance gasps dramatically, "I am not a  _ softy _ , I am a man! A man of hard steeled wits, and..!" 

I snort in laughter, "Dear god, I am literally begging you to stop." 

Lance raises his hands in surrender, yet he's still grinning devilishly, "Fine, fine, but only as a favor for a friend." 

I blink in surprise, his words echoing in my head on repeat,  _ a friend. He considers me a friend.  _

"You think... are we friends?" I ask softly, rubbing the back of my neck, “I... sorry, I just wasn't expecting that. After yesterday, we totally almost threw hands, but uh… and just now after blowing up like that just now, too…” 

Lance quickly brushes it off, "No, no, it's just a figure of..." He pauses mid-sentence, looking at me with a strange expression that I can’t quite discern. After a second his gaze softens and he smiles warmly, "You know what? Yeah. I do think we're friends." 

I raise an eyebrow in surprise, "That's a twist. Maybe I'm the one that's growing on you!" 

Lance curls his nose, "Like mold, maybe." 

I can't help but smile, all thoughts of anger and frustration gone as we return to comfortable silence.  _ You know, he isn't all that bad, once you get past the three layers of jackassery he uses as armor.  _

"I know you don't want to do the exercise, but maybe give that thing I told you a try? It may help." Lance shrugs, raising an eyebrow. 

I merely sigh in response. “I don't know. I… I really don't want to, but… I guess it'll be good for the team.” I glance over at him with a look of warning, “Just promise you won't go rummaging around in my head!”

Lance smirks broadly, "Nope, too tempting!" He stands up from the floor, and offers a hand to help me up. I flicker my gaze from his hand to his face, before I cautiously take it and pull myself up. 

"Thanks, Lance." I mumble as we leave the training room, releasing the tension from my shoulders, "I feel a lot better." 

"Hey, you know, they don't call me a smooth-talker for no reason!" Lance laughs sheepishly, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

I merely roll my eyes with a chuckle, "You're certainly a talker."  

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Another day, another chapter. I like to narrate each of the episodes as they happen, and I'm going to try better about describing whats going on between episodes though. I see now why Voltron writers did it in the first place, it's just so much easier to transition a scene rather than try to explain it through!  
> But I'll do better though, that's kind of the whole reason why I'm writing this after all.  
> I just finished season 7 today, and that has inspired me to do a better job of explaining inter-character relationships and the science etc. behind the advanced tech. Even if it's fake, at least it's not that fake, you feel? Because damn, that shit was just... unreal. Literally. ( spoiler: @ Atlas becoming a robot three times the size it really is)  
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed, more to come if you're invested! I see some people are actually reading this so please let me know what you think, and if you have any constructive criticism. I'm glad you enjoy my cringy self-insertion!  
> -tense edited as of 10/21/18-  
> -edited for consistency 1/11/19-  
> **


	7. More than Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly but surely, the Voltron squad is learning how to work together, but solely professional relationships aren't enough for them to truly bond, and forming Voltron requires more from each and every one of them. To Will, the others are still close to perfect strangers that he met two days ago, and now they're expected to spend the rest of their foreseeable future together. As Allura and Coran ready the Castle to depart from Arus to begin the war with Zarkon in earnest, the team has plenty of time to get to know one another better to establish these bonds.  
> \---  
> ** WARNING, non-con and references to non-con are heavy in this chapter. The worst of it are in the entirely italicized sections, so if you are uncomfortable then avoid those parts. Take care of yourselves. Extremely Explicit NSFW in about the middle as well, again in entire italicized sections (dreams)**

"Get your heads in the game, focus!" Shiro's voice echoes in the training room, shouting at Lance and Hunk where they’re undergoing target practice with a long range dummy. When Lance and I tracked back to rejoin the group, we found them heading to the training deck to do some work with our bayards before we go to work with our lions rather than doing the mindmelding exercise at all, much to my relief. No one acted strangely when we rejoined, only a spare cast look before we went straight to work, perks of training is that it’s difficult to mentally multitask. Shiro separated Lance and Hunk to the far wall to practice on their aim with their bayards, which out of the five of us are ranged, while he took Pidge, Keith, and I aside to spar. Pidge and Keith are up right now, swiping and dodging and diving and slicing at one another with a flurry of attacks. 

I should probably be watching their technique or something, but my thoughts keep wandering, specifically to the conversation I just had with Lance. My opinion of him has had a complete turn around since he’s nice enough to come after me when I blew up at everybody. I see now that my initial perception of him is probably purposeful, his façade he’s projecting to hide… something. Nothing nefarious, that I’m certain of, I know a moment ago that some level of it is that he has some level of homesickness but I think he may be trying to hide the fact that he cares about things, and deeply. I saw that when he listened to me, talked to me about his family even if it was just in passing. For a moment, his eyes were so vulnerable and open, like oasis pools, that I knew the Lance I see with the group is one he crafted by hand for the explicit purpose of hiding that part of himself _.  _ This just leads me to believe that my initial perceptions of the others are probably wrong too, or at least not fully formed yet. It does give me a bit of a reality check on how my perceptions have shaped how I act around each of them.

_ Hunk has always been incredibly friendly from the start, if a little naïve and… cowardly, I guess. No, that’s too harsh, I think he’s a bit overly cautious, at least in comparison to the rest of us. But he’s got a big heart, about as big as he is, he’s an utter delight to be around, and there’s no denying his love for food. But there has got to be more to him than that, right? _ I glance over at him as he practices with Lance in aiming and firing his bayard on the left side of the training room. His massive bayard, held in both of his large hands like a battering ram as he turns with the loud thudding of a high velocity tank before my gaze hooks on Shiro, who stands just behind Lance and murmurs in soft tones, no doubt with helpful, fatherly advice.

_ Shiro’s not exactly open, but he’s not closed off, either. He seems to me like he forces a professional distance between the rest of us, yet he isn’t mean or rude about it; it’s obvious that he cares, he makes it obvious, and that’s why he’s the perfect Black Paladin, leading by example. But even despite that he still isn’t… close with anyone on the team, or at least it seems that way. Ever since the first few hours I knew him, when he asked me about Adam, I don’t think I’ve ever seen any more of his capacity to be vulnerable. I still don’t think I really know him all that well besides his obvious, insane work ethic and natural leadership abilities, like strategy, rallying us and getting us to do stuff, things like that. I wonder how I can get him to open up to me like that again. _

The loud clang of metal brings my attention back to Keith and Pidge’s sparring match on the right side of the training room. Keith lashes out with his bayard in a wide sweep as Pidge leaps out of range, his bayard lashing out from his fist with a green wire attached, like those weapons in spy movies. Keith dodges the flying projectile as Pidge races forward and clips him in the hip while he’s distracted, and Keith disengages in just barely enough time to reclaim his bearings, his sword held aloft in a defensive stance.  _ Pidge still is a complete enigma to me. I never knew that the Holts had a son besides Matt, but I know they had a daughter who was a freshman in my high school before she transferred somewhere, but I never really knew her. Pidge looks an awful lot like her too, from what I can remember from the funeral, except she had longer hair and no glasses. Maybe they’re twins? _ Pidge takes a staggering step back to dodge Keith’s bayard as he lunges towards him, and he parries the red blade with his green, bladed fist when he’s able to regain his footing once again.  _ Pidge doesn't really like to answer any of my questions, based on our interaction yesterday, but maybe if I ask the right way… I think he's worried about opening up to us, but I think it’s more than simple modesty. It’s like he’s hiding something, but not like how Lance is hiding. But I know I need to try really hard not to pressure him into revealing anything he doesn’t want to before he's ready, I know that if the others were to poke and prod me like that, I would definitely go on the defensive too, so if I want to get him to open up to me I’ve gotta be delicate about it, making myself available but not pushing him to tell me anything.  _

_ And then there’s Keith. _ He ducks under a right hook from Pidge with his bayard at hand with an expert twist, and launches into a counterattack that sends Pidge onto a flurried defensive.  _ He’s obviously fought before, without a sword probably, but the way he defends himself and dodges makes it clear he’s been under the brunt of a fist before. And Christ, the way he dresses, acts, it screams that he’s a broody, bad boy type and I can’t seem to get past it, even though we’ve bonded like, twice. He went to the Garrison, is apparently an amazing flier, and he knows Shiro, somehow, on a level deeper than the rest of the crew. ‘He’s the only one who believed in me.’ Oh yeah, and I accidentally discovered by nosing too deep that he doesn’t have parents. Christ _ . I get guilt ridden immediately, embarrassing flashbacks to the moment causing my cheeks to prickle and burn. I quickly shake my head to rid myself of that cold look he gave me, the kind that sinks into your skin and leaves your bones feeling hollow. _ Maybe his broody persona isn’t a persona at all, but a defense mechanism? Honestly, I hope that isn’t the case, because that fills me with such pity and sadness on his behalf.  _ I set my jaw as I watch Pidge and Keith continue to spar, _ I’m going to be a good friend to him nonetheless, because even based on the little I know about him, I can tell that he hasn’t had many, if any friends at all. When I was freaking out on the Moon he said that he had no idea how to help, but he did calm me down and build me up, pretty well in fact considering we’re strangers. Maybe Shiro’s the only person that’s given him a chance to be that kind of person before and that’s why they’re so close. I’m gonna change that; add another friend to the list.  _

_ So really what I’m getting out of all of this is I’m gonna befriend all the paladins and we’re gonna bond and be super happy together saving the world! Yay! _

With a sudden jab, Keith’s foot rises and punches painfully into Pidge’s thigh in a skillful manner, sending Pidge crumpling to the floor with a yelp. Shiro looks up from where he was helping Hunk and Lance and quickly strides over with a concerned expression as Keith takes a step back, his sword retracting to its resting bayard form.

I hear Shiro check in with Pidge in a low tone as he kneels beside him, followed by Pidge waving his hand at him with an embarrassed groan as he sits up, rubbing his leg. Pidge looks up and meets my gaze and then scans the room to see that all four of us are watching this unfold. A deep red climbs to Pidge’s ears as he keeps his eyes on his feet, and Shiro quickly clears his throat, “Hunk, Lance, did I say you could stop?”

I hear Hunk sheepishly make excuses as he and Lance quickly turn away, but they’re drown out by the sound of their bayards firing at the targets. Shiro turns to Keith and I and juts his chin to his right, “Why don’t we switch off? Spar with Will.” He aims his words at Keith with a flicker of his eyes that I can’t quite decipher meaning from. Keith turns and faces me without question or change in expression, his bayard flashing as it extends into a blade. Slowly, I summon my bayard from my suit and offer a sheepish grin.

“Go easy on me,” I murmur, half teasing, but also half meaning it as my bayard extends into its lance form, “I’ve never fought anyone before.”

“Really? Never?” Keith asks a little incredulously, but before I can retort Shiro interrupts me, I vaguely see Pidge’s form as he limps off to the side of the arena, “Don’t worry, Will,” Shiro says with a gentle, fatherly smile, “That’s what practice is all about, getting those skills.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see.” I grumble, and as soon as Shiro turns away Keith moves like lightning, I barely have the time to respond. I lift my bayard over my head and his blade clangs loudly against the white metal, just a bare few inches from my fingers. Before I can think, Keith punches me sharply in the side while he has my weapon engaged above, leaving me almost entirely exposed. I let out a pained huff and shove his blade off of my lance, using the momentum to swipe at him with a bladed end, and just as it sails through the air I barely have the conscious mind to turn my lance to the side so as to not actually hit Keith with the sharp end, but rather the flat of the blade. It doesn’t matter in the end, as Keith blocks the blow with ease and swings his blade down upon me without remorse. I duck just in time, but now he’s too close to use my lance effectively even as my dodge knocked him a little off balance, he over committed on his attack,  _ oh, but I can punch him, two can play that game _ . I free a hand from my bayard and jab it into his side in a curled fist and roll off of him with my lance ready just as he whirls for an opportunity attack, not even seeming at all phased by my strike. Breathless I block his attack once more with my bayard, but learning my lesson from the first time I block with one end of my bayard with my other pointed downward to block his overhead attack but to also defend myself from any of his underhanded tactics. Keith attempts to twist out of my weaker block but as he twists my bayard in a half circle to my left I switch hands and continue the rotation with a swift flick of my wrist. With a loud clang, Keith’s sword goes flying off to the side, and he stares at me with wide eyes.

Before I can respond, his shocked expression morphs as a sly smirk etches into his features and he raises an eyebrow at me cockily, “Yeah, never fought before, huh?”

“No, really, I haven’t!” I huff, gripping my bayard a little tighter, “Just beginner’s luck. Besides, how good are you with a sword again?” Keith’s eyebrows furrow and I see his dark eyes spark with a competitive light, the slight smirk broadening as he runs a hand through his hair to get it out of his face.  _ Christ, that’s attractive. _

Shiro suddenly appears from behind him, his arms crossed as he nods in approval, “That was a good use of your bayard, Will. Be careful on overcommitting on those attacks, Keith, hold back a little, don’t ride or die on one attack.” Shiro offers helpfully as he reaches down and grabs Keith’s blade where it lies a few feet away, tossing it in the air. Keith snatches the blade from the air, his expression morphing to something… soft, almost tender as he regards Shiro, but as Shiro turns away, Keith’s expression returns to his resting, broody demeanor as he holds his sword aloft, facing me once more.

I smile a little sheepishly at him, and hold my bayard in a white-knuckled grip, my muscles immediately tensing in preparation as soon as Keith moves. He charges toward me and hammers his blade down into my bayard, sending painful shocks up my arm as I quickly retreat back a step, but Keith closes in after me, giving me no room to breathe. I grit my teeth and shove his blade outward with my lance and swing with one end in a wide, sweeping arc that forces him to retreat back a step. With the space I recollect myself into a better defensive position with my feet apart and my hands resting on either ends of my lance, but Keith doesn’t charge back in. He stays out of my lance’s reach, and waits.

He starts to circle around me with his sword halfway lowered by his abdomen, his gaze dark and unreadable like a prowling wolf. I match his movements to keep him from flanking me, my breath coming in shaky gasps. We circle one another like two wolves fighting over fallen prey before Keith hisses, “Attack, already!”

I blink at him, huffing, “No way, I’m waiting for you to attack!”

“You can’t just sit around waiting for them to come at you, you gotta take initiative.” Keith snaps back curtly; he holds out a hand and beckons with his sword pointed at me, “So come on!”

“That sounds like something someone who would want to take advantage of my lack of attack skills would say.” I argue with a deep, creased frown.

I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear Shiro’s voice from just behind me, “No, he’s right. You can only be on the defense for so long. There comes a time when you have to attack.” I risk a glance back at him from where he stands behind me with his hands behind his back and let out a deep sigh.

“… Alright, alright.” I grumble under my breath, before I fix my gaze on Keith. He’s raised his sword defensively again in preparation for my imminent attack.  _ I can’t just attack him head on, he can block it easily, and probably counter attack, too. I gotta somehow feint to the side to get his weapon out of the way and get him with the other end of my lance. Or something like it.  _

Cautiously I take a step forward, flickering my gaze from Keith to the blade in his hand. Keeping my distance I lash out at him with an experimental swing but he ducks beneath it easily. I see my chance and before he rights himself I perch on my right foot and kick out at him with my left to throw him off balance, but this immediately bites me as Keith instead grabs my foot and yanks me forward. I yelp and fall on my ass unceremoniously, and as I sit up to escape his hand grasping my ankle a flash of red metal glints before me; I look up Keith’s blade where it rests under my chin and meet his gaze, shrouded in the overhead light to look like thunderclouds. 

_ Okay, I must be really fucking gay because that’s  _ **_hot_ ** _.  _

“Nice work there Keith, way to take advantage.” Shiro congratulates from behind me and Keith retracts his bayard, holding out a hand to help me up. I take it, trying desperately to hide how fucking  _ flustered  _ I just got, and stand with a sheepish grin as Shiro turns to me, “Not bad Will, but don’t be afraid to commit. With this kind of weapon you get the best out of keeping a bit of distance between your opponent, but also by being able to attack on more than one front because of these blades on the end.” 

Shiro steps behind me and taps the blades on either side of my bayard. I hold it with an open palm for him to take as he grasps the handle, standing beside me with a wide stance, no doubt so I can see it in practice as he continues to speak, “Best way is by grasping it on both ends, so you have optimal movement from switching one side to the other.” He clasps his hands on either end of my bayard, giving it a few swings with his elbows parallel to the staff. He holds it out to me and gestures with a  _ now you _ . 

I nod and take my bayard back from him, but as I grasp the bayard on the ends like Shiro instructed my bayard suddenly hums, and with a flash a large shield appears in front of me, just like it did yesterday in our fight against the Gladiator. 

Shiro, Keith, and I stare at it stupidly for a solid two seconds before I smack my lips, “Well, didn’t know it could do that.” 

Shiro nods appreciatively, touching the outside of the barrier experimentally with a pensive look, “You can use this to your advantage. This can block any incoming blows, probably gunfire too, and still give you the freedom to attack like I just showed you.” Abruptly he punches the barrier with his prosthetic hand, jolting my bayard with surprising force that I can feel it in my hand, but not nearly as jarring as I’d expected. Shiro nods again with an inspecting gaze, “Be suitable to bash enemies with, too, if you get close enough.” 

I release a hand from my bayard and the shield falls, and I give Shiro an appreciative look with a slight nod, “Thanks, Shiro.” 

“No problem.” He gestures between Keith and I with a hand to continue sparring as he turns away, heading back towards Hunk and Lance to inspect their progress. Pidge is sitting on the side of the room with his leg propped in front of him and his chin in his hand… and I think he’s asleep.

I raise an eyebrow at Keith as he stands a bit away, fiddling with the handle of his bayard idly. He cocks an eyebrow at me and an immediate jolt of lightning shoots down my spine and makes my palms sweat against the metal of my bayard as he smirks, “Ready to see how far that beginner’s luck takes you?”

_ Jesus Christ, why am I so flustered?  _

\---

We stop sparring after Hunk lifts his bayard wrong and  _ apparently  _ pulls a muscle, giving Shiro the idea to switch courses and work in our lions, practicing flying in formation and using our attacks on miscellaneous rocky outcroppings and the wreckage of the Galra vessel in the deserts surrounding the Castle.

“Mouth lasers engaged, fire!” Shiro’s voice calls over the com, and I smash the button on my holographic panel. The White Lion’s jaws open and a powerful, white/blue beam blasts the side of a hunk of purple metal jutting out of the desert sands, causing fire and smoke to explode around it with a dramatic flair as the White Lion and I fly past the wreckage and circle back for another attack. Spaced out around the area the others in their lions are practicing their own aim on the wrecked pieces of twisted violet, thrown hap-hazardously around the desert.

“I feel like we need a better word than ‘mouth lasers’.” I grumble under my breath, before snapping my fingers as the White Lion and I double back for another attack, “How about front lasers?”

“Hell no, because that’d make the tail lasers ‘back lasers’ and that’s worse!” Lance dramatically argues over the com, and I curl my nose in distaste.

“I don’t know, mouth lasers is specific, you know?” Hunk’s gentle voice proffers, “Like, there’s no confusion over what lasers we’re using-  _ UGH this hurts my ARM- _ ”

“What other kind of lasers are there in the front of our lions, though?” Pidge interrupts Hunk’s complaining as I fire my second shot on the Galra metal piece I’ve been utterly destroying. Smoke and fire ricochet across the sides as I fly by, leaning forward against the controls of my lion with my palms pressed against the cool metal.

“We can decide on a proper term later.” Shiro replies diplomatically, and I see the black form of his lion hovering in the sky above me, casting an angelic shadow across the desert sands as he continues, “I think that’s enough for now. Let’s form Voltron!”

I disengage and roll back towards the Black Lion and take up in formation behind him. I glance to my left and right and see the Green and Red Lions pulling up beside me as we fly into the atmosphere. I close my eyes, settle my palms against the controls, and focus;  _ remember the pull we felt yesterday, when we were able to form Voltron. The camaraderie from our goo fight in the dining room. Moving in sync with one another until we’re one. _

I feel the stretches of energy from the others, tentatively reaching out towards one another. It’s weaker than yesterday but it’s there; I embrace it and pull with my own and I hear the mechanical whirs as our lions shift and click into place in response to our metaphysical combining. When I open my eyes, I’m peeking out through the chest of Voltron.

“Nice, that took a little longer than yesterday, but we’ll work on it.” Shiro’s voice is very much like that of a proud parent as we land heavily on the deserted ground, and as we straighten upright his voice morphs into a more commanding tone, “Now, let’s practice some basic maneuvers. Lets fly and weave through the canyon over there.” I glance around and spot the craggy stone jutting out from the ground and the depths beyond, and I grip the controls of the White Lion tightly. With a swift movement I engage the thrusters in Voltron’s back as Lance and Hunk engage the thrusters in his feet, and we soar into the air with a burst of energy. I twist us about as Shiro aims us towards the canyon below, which I see now is littered with tall, spiraling stalactites about as big as Voltron itself throughout the middle, which would take some delicate dodging and weaving to get through.

“Alright, let’s go.” Shiro commands, and we dive. I twist and attempt to bring us to the left of a stalactite, but I feel Hunk and Lance pull Voltron in the other direction around it. Immediately we’re getting off balance, and I reel as we’re heading at a startling speed towards the stone at an awkward angle, feet one way and body the other.

“Look out, look out!” Hunk cries, but it’s too late: we crash head on into the stone. I’m rattled in my cabin as the stalactite crumbles to the ground from the force of the impact and the metal shell of Voltron groans almost in disapproval as we stand back upright.

Hunk speaks first with a low whine, “That was  _ not  _ fun for my arm! It’s gonna fall off at this rate!”

“Hang in there, Hunk.” Shiro murmurs under his breath, “Maybe we should practice something a little more basic first.”

“Good idea.” I answer with a slight huff, flipping the thruster switches to pull us back into the sky.

We return after practice only to eat lunch before Shiro drove us back out to the deserts for more practice. By the time he was finished with us, we all had no more energy except to trudge back to our rooms to sleep. I collapse on my bed, barely pulling off all my armor and suit in time before my eyes closed, I don’t even know if I’m wearing pants or not but within seconds I drift into unconsciousness.

\---

I wake up to the sharp, stabbing pain of hunger in my abdomen. I groan and roll over, my eyes fluttering open in the darkness of my room as I wave my arm by my bed in search for my phone. My hand hits air where my nightstand is, and annoyed I rub my eyes to see what the issue is when I realize I’m not in my room. Well, technically my room, but I thought I was in my room back on Earth, but I realize now I’m in my room at the Castle. 

_ Dang. Was kind of hoping that was all a dream.  _

I sit up and rest my hand on one of the posts on my bed when a blaringly bright hologram pops up before my eyes. After blinking for several minutes to clear the spots, I see a button that says ‘brightness’ on the hologram and turn it down a few notches. 

The Castle has its own time regulation so we can stay in a rhythm, but by all accounts it isn’t based on anything except continuity, like there aren’t time zones to conform to. I remember when we rolled in after practice, barely awake, it was around nine and now it’s two in the morning.  _ Fuck, I’m starving. _

I slowly stand up with a long, deep stretch, the kind that causes your entire spine to crack and pop in the most delightful way as I trudge towards the kitchen for some food.

The halls of the Castle are eerily dark and quiet at this time of ‘night’, or at least the arbitrary sense of night that only we within the Castle conform to. The only lights are the soft, light blue power lines running within the walls, as soft as full moonlight cast across the white walls as my feet pad on the smooth, pearly metal. It’s a very particular texture, it’s smooth and cold as metal but it’s not a soul-sucking chill like what I expected. It’s a comfort, considering how awful it would be to go back to bed with cold feet.

As I approach the kitchen, I hear the sound of laughter down the hall. Confused, I follow while rubbing my eyes. Voices, animated and enthusiastic are coming from behind the door to the kitchen.

“For fucks sake, Pidge, give me the spoon and no one gets hurt.”

“You can’t tell me what to do!” Pidge’s voice is intentionally sardonic. Immediately I hear the hard sound of something hitting the floor and a shrieking battle cry.

I open the door cautiously and witness Lance holding Pidge in a headlock on the floor of the kitchen, with Hunk nervously standing over them in a frozen position. Their widened eyes swivel in such terrifying sync that I’m tempted to back away as they lock on me.

“Uh, hey.” I murmur awkwardly as Lance releases Pidge, and I rub the back of my neck with a sheepish smile, “Just came for a midnight snack.”

“It’s 2am.” Pidge chokes out with heavy judgement, but gives me a wicked grin as Lance releases him from his chokehold. 

Lance rises from the ground and grabs a spoon from the floor where it had fallen in their scuffle and sits on the counter where there sits a bowl of green goo, half-eaten, “Don’t go judging him and his life choices, Pidge!’ Lance replies with a snarky tone, spooning some goo into his mouth and speaking around it in a muffled voice, “Beshidesh, you jusht ate too!”

I go over and grab a bowl and spoon from the built-in cabinet and tread softly to get some goo as Hunk grins at me in an apologetic manner, “Sorry if we were being loud, we just all kind of woke up hungry and came here.”

“It’s a party.” I tease, filling my bowl with some nutritious green goo and leaning on the counter next to Lance as I point my spoon at Hunk, “So, since you’re here, and if you don’t mind me interrogating y’all, you were at the Garrison together?"

Hunk nods as he lifts a bowl that he had resting on the counter, slurping up some goo happily before he speaks, "Yeah! Pidge, Lance, and I were a squadron, so we worked together every day." 

“Or, you know, we tried to.” Lance replies with a huff, giving a pointed glare at Pidge, “But we had some team bonding difficulties.”

Pidge shoots back a glare so hard that I can feel the cutting edge in his tone, “I wasn’t there to bond with you, I was there to find my family.” With a jarring start, Pidge dusts himself off and whirls towards the exit at the drop of the hat, declaring firmly, “I’m going back to bed.”

The door slides shut, and we’re left in an uncomfortable, awkward silence. 

_ Wow his attitude changed at the drop of a dime. _

I raise an eyebrow when I get the urge to break the silence, "So…. Team bonding difficulties."

Lance sighs dramatically as he spoons some more goo into his mouth, “Yeah, I think we’re doing better now, but I feel like Pidge is hiding something. That was the whole reason we followed him that night when we found Shiro, he was always sneaking off.” Lance looks to Hunk for confirmation, who nods in agreement silently, as his mouth is full of goo.

I take another bite with a deep frown as Hunk picks up where Lance left off once he swallows, “Yeah, we didn’t really bond super well as a team for… a lot of reasons. But Pidge was just looking for his dad and his brother, so I don’t see what else he’s got to hide besides that!” Hunk stuffs another bite in his mouth, chewing on the goo as Lance merely shrugs nonchalantly.

I tilt my head a little as I scrape my bowl for some more goo, “So, how much do you really know about him? Pidge, I mean.”

Hunk takes a few moments to think, and to eat some more goo, before he comes up with an answer, "Not much, actually. We never really talked outside of the simulations. But then, the night Shiro crashed to Earth, Lance and I saw him sneaking off alone, so we decided to follow him."

Hunk speaks with a wave of his spoon with a dramatic flair towards Lance, who immediately snatches onto the tail end of Hunk’s story, "Yeah, we were gonna get him to come with us because there were a buncha cadets sneaking off the base to go to a party, but when we followed him up to the roof he had this...  _ really awesome _ setup, computers, radars, and a whole buncha tech mumbo jumbo he said he made himself, and that they honed in on alien frequencies.” Lance grins a little to himself as he stabs his spoon into the goo, “Dude, I thought he was crazy. But now we’re on an alien spaceship across the galaxy and we’re trying to save the universe now, so, you know. Hindsight, or something.” Lance raises a finger, swallowing some goo before he speaks again, “He said that the alien frequencies were talking a lot about ‘Voltron’ and at the time we didn’t know what that meant, and that just made it all the crazier, but that’s exactly the sort of thing that Keith was picking up out in the desert, too. Apparently.” Lance adds the last bit with a surprisingly bitter tone, spooning some more goo into his mouth like it’s vinegar.

I chuckle a little as Hunk swings his legs up and plops down on the counter, causing Lance’s bowl to rattle. I scoop at some more goo, raising an eyebrow at the pair, “Why did Pidge say he was ‘there to find his family’?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.

Hunk twiddles with his thumb in his lap, “That night we found him we kind of interrogated him about the whole thing. He told us that he found out that the Garrison had lied about his dad and his brother dying on a mission. The truth was that their entire squad, you know, his brother, his dad and Shiro, actually went missing, and they had no idea what happened to them, so… he kind of took matters into his own hands, I guess." Hunk tilted his head in contemplation, his dark brown eyes like abyssal depths in the overhead light, "Man, I was so excited, I had been trying to bond with him about tech for like, a month, and I thought we could then but that’s…” He pauses and glances over at Lance, and gives him a knowing look.

“…That's when Shiro crashed.” Lance finishes for Hunk, standing upright as he straightens with his hands on the counter, “Pidge’s tech went all wonky when it hit the ground and he was super excited about it so we had to check it out." Lance’s hair sticks up at funny angles in the low light, and I internally wonder whether or not I should say about it. 

"So, it was you three that went missing? You’re the ones who found Shiro?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

Lance perks up a little, “Wait a minute, you heard about us going missing?”

I curl my nose a little at the memory, “I… Well I told you that I had the whole,  _ my lion speaking to me while I was awake  _ thing happen to me when, apparently Shiro, crashed. The next day it was all anyone could talk about. My friend Connor heard from Haymitch the janitor that he overheard while he was cleaning up the simulators earlier that morning that three cadets were missing from their bunks.”

“Oh.” Lance blinks, and I can see the wheels turning in his head, perhaps wondering if he knows Haymitch. 

I turn to Hunk as he speaks animately with his hands, “We didn’t actually get to Shiro first. The Garrison already had set up shop there by the time we arrived, but Pidge wanted to scan with his tech thingy to see what was going on, so we got in as close as we could and…”

Lance snaps his fingers and interrupts Hunk with a gasp, “Dude yeah, that’s when Keith showed up! He came rolling in on this bike and just… ran in there and beat everyone up and was gonna save Shiro, but I was like,  _ hell no, I’m not gonna let you get all the fame and glory I wanna save Shiro _ so I went in after him and did the dirty work for him instead.”

Hunk gives Lance an unamused look, “By dirty work, do you mean, half-carried Shiro to the bike and then trying to convince Keith that you two were rivals, even though he didn’t even remember you?” I can't help but smirk.

Lance gasps with indignation, “You’re butchering it, that’s totally not how it went! He knew who I was as soon as I told him, he was just playing dumb because he’s… you know, dumb!”

Hunk gives him an unamused expression, “Yeah, sure.” He turns away from Lance and looks back at me with a more conversational tone, "So we run back to Keith's hoverbike, right, and he takes us with Shiro back to his place, some shack deep in the desert. I think that’s where he’s been living since he dropped out, or at least that’s what it looked like when we got there.” He taps his lips and gestures to an invisible map with his hands, “He had all this info he had gathered about the energy he was feeling in the area, and it lined up with Pidge's radio wave scans and Shiro’s memory of the Galra searching for some weapon, which was Voltron but we didn’t know what. So, Pidge and I came up with an algorithm that tracked the correspondances, which led us to the Blue Lion, and... well, you know the rest, you were there." Hunk grins sheepishly at me.

I raise an eyebrow at him incredulously, "Dude, I had no idea you were so gutsy at the Garrison, going out and investigating fallen alien objects and stuff!" I tease, to which Hunk fiddles with his fingers awkwardly. Lance snickers knowingly. 

"No, not really!” Hunk insists, pointing to Lance as he scrapes at the last of his goo, “Lance is the impulsive one, I just follow along and make sure we don't get in trouble." I chuckle softly as I pick up Pidge’s empty bowl and my own to put in the dishwasher.

“Hey, I’m not impulsive! That’s Keith.” Lance argues, before flashing a faux-charming grin, “I’m the good-looking, heart breaking-“

“I’m literally begging you to stop.” I answer with a teasing lilt, glancing at Lance out of the corner of my eye. 

Lance rolls his eyes, “Yeesh, tough crowd.” With a push off the counter, Lance gestures toward the door with his hands shoved into his pajama pants pockets, “Well, good bonding team, I’m getting some beauty sleep. Night!” He waves his hand over his shoulder at Hunk and I and strides out of the kitchen, the door sliding shut behind him.

So naturally, I have to ask while I have Hunk alone, "So, Lance and Keith's 'rivalry'?" I ask after a moment, using air quotes and raising my eyebrow at him questioningly.

Hunk groans, tossing his head back dramatically, "It's totally fake, man. Keith didn't even know Lance existed until that night when we found Shiro." His eyes widen as he glances at the door, and he suddenly drops his voice to a whisper, "Don't tell him I told you this, but frankly, I think he's just jealous of him.” 

I raise an eyebrow, my intrigue immediately spiking, “Oh yeah?”  _ Hell yeah, drop the coffee. _

Hunk nods solemnly, chewing his lip as he continues in a voice that’s just above a whisper, “You know Commander Iverson?” 

I frown at this, immediately crossing my arms and leaning more on the counter. Hell yeah I know  _ Commander Iverson _ . He has one eye permanently swollen shut, a bitchy resting face, and my parents have a lot of respect for him because he's a hard-ass who knows what he's about. I met him once when he dropped by to speak to my parents about their work. He saw me and got all excited because he’d seen my application to the program and thought I was an excellent fit, and that’s how I discovered that my parents had filed an application on my behalf without telling me. I’d taken the test just to sate them and technically scored enough to get in but what they  _ failed  _ to mention was that they turned in the full application,  _ “Just to see.”  _ So I had set the record straight, to all parties, that I wanted to do something I was passionate about and that space wasn’t it. From there he basically told me not wanting to go to the Galaxy Garrison was an utter waste of my life, like  _ what possible could I want to do besides go to space, what’re you stupid? Blah de blah.  _

So naturally, I don't really like him all that much, “Yeah, I know him. What about him?” I ask with a raised eyebrow. 

Hunk glances at the door like he’s afraid Lance will come bursting in at any moment like the Iceblock Drinker before he whispers, “He would always put Lance down by telling him that he only got into the pilot program because Keith dropped out. Like, literally,  _ all the time. _ " 

I meet Hunk's gaze with a deep frown, "Sounds like something that privileged jackass would do. But why?" 

Hunk shrugs, "I don't know, maybe he thinks that would inspire Lance to try and do better? But it didn't really work, it just made him hate Keith a whole lot.” Hunk fiddles with his fingers awkwardly, he looks a bit like he’s wondering if he said too much. 

I move to sit down on the counter next to him, swinging my legs idly as Hunk continues, “We saw him around when we were outside at training exercises because that shack he was at was just outside the Garrison’s gates and Keith was sneaking on all the time. I didn’t know then, but now I think it’s because he was investigating that energy, but I knew that Lance had seen him out there when we were doing drills because he'd try especially hard and usually end up getting yelled at for doing stupid, risky stuff." 

"That's awful." I murmur under my breath, frowning as I remember my own parent's attitudes toward him.  _ McClain.  _ "They sound like they never even gave him a chance. No wonder he hates Keith so much." 

Hunk nods with a saddened expression, "Yeah, but he's okay. He's pretty resilient, and he always finds a way to laugh it off so it doesn't get to him too bad." 

_ That might be what you see him doing, that might not necessarily be what's actually happening.  _

"I think I'm gonna go to bed," I excuse myself, pushing off of the counter, "Thanks for talking to me, Hunk. It fills in some gaps for me, and helps to know the others on the team better." 

"No problem, dude! And don't tell Lance I told you all that, okay?" Hunk huffs in a stressed tone, and I merely chuckle in response as I leave him in the kitchen, waving my hand over my shoulder, “Yeah dude, no problem!”

I drag myself back to bed as my eyelids grow heavy, my mind whirling with this new information.  _ Poor Lance. No fucking wonder he was so mean to Keith when we first got here. Being someone’s replacement is never something that feels good, especially when that bitch Iverson brings it up all the time. It’s satisfying to have a justified reason to dislike him now, though. _

I collapse on my bed and curl into the covers comfortably, and soon, I’m fast asleep.

\---

_ “Babe, it’ll take like, 30 minutes, it’ll be fine, I’ll be there the whole time.” _

_I’m seething with rage as I shake Damien’s hands off my wrists, “What the_ fuck _do you mean, it’ll be fine?! I can’t believe you would do something like that, I’m not some… I’m not property_ _to be auctioned off for a_ **_bet_**.”

_ “Oh come on, don’t be like that! It’ll be a fun, impromptu adventure!” Damien coos affectionately, his fingers grasping onto my belt loops and pulling me against him. I curl my nose while biting my tongue to prevent the seething rage bubbling in my throat from spitting out like magma. _

_ “I don’t even know him. I don’t want to just… I’m not the kind of person that just sleeps around like-“ _

_ Damien interrupts me mid-sentence with a laugh, “What, don’t pretend like you’re not excited!” _

_ “Believe me,” I growl, deep and guttural, “There’s no pretending.” _

_ Damien’s ice-blue gaze darkens like storm clouds rolling across an empty sky, “I think you’re forgetting who you’re talking to.” Fear spikes through my blood, metallic and cold in my chest as his fingers dig tighter into my waist. I struggle to rip my gaze from his, but I can't, I’m swallowed by the ice. _

_ Suddenly I’m no longer in my room, I’m in his car, my seatbelt is fastened and Damien’s looking over at me from the driver’s seat of a pickup truck, one hand on the steering wheel and the other is on my thigh. I try to unclick the seatbelt but it won’t give, it's stuck, or jammed, and Damien chuckles in a cold manner, “You’re so cute when you’re angry, but you take it a little too far when you start talking to me like that. I don’t like it.” _

_ “Damien,” I whisper, my voice strangled in my throat as his hand slides upward. I cringe and attempt to pull away but the seatbelt holds me fast, “I don’t want to do this. I don’t feel-“ _

_ “All the better.” Damien purrs, and I can’t help from flinching, "You know I like the struggle. Don’t you?" His hand pauses on my hip, and when I fail to answer him he undoes my seatbelt for me. I leap out of the car as fast as I can to escape. _

_ I’m in a black room. I can’t see anything, but I feel their hands. Damien has a hand over my mouth and a tight grip on my waist with the other as a stranger’s lips press against my throat. I practically fall over trying to escape and I land on something soft, Damien sitting just behind me and looping his arms through mine to hold me still with one hand over my mouth. I try to scream, I try to shout, but I can barely breathe as I feel a stranger’s hands pull at my legs closer to them and feel their unknown kisses biting into my collarbone and my chest. _

_ This is a dream. This is a dream. I just have to pull myself out of it. It’s dark and it hurts... I tune it out. I leave myself and go somewhere else so I don’t have to be within myself while this happens to me. But even from out here, I can hear Damien and this stranger’s voice, filling my soul with something horrible and sickening and seething. _

_ “Take your hand off his mouth, I wanna hear him.” _

_ “You won’t like what he has to say, I promise you, he’s feisty.” Damien responds in a laughably conversational tone. I almost return to myself to show just how  _ feisty  _ I am before I realize what I’d be returning to and instead try to fling myself farther away. Escape. Clouds of smoke from dragon’s lungs to close around me and hide me from the world. _

_ Hands close around my throat and immediately I start choking. Damien always does this when he’s close, and I’m used to it but it has been so long that I’d forgotten the signs. I didn’t get a big enough breath before, I’m seeing spots dance before my vision, I’m vaguely aware that I’m trying to flail, to grab onto something, anything, but my hands are pressed behind me; I have to finish him faster, or I’m gonna pass out. _

_ My lungs burn, and the threat of potentially getting knocked out smashes me back into my own body so hard I jolt, and my voice rips out a noise I never knew I was capable of, something caught between a strangled or crying animal. All the horrible sensations wash over me at once, the sting, the warmth, the shame, the desperation for air, I need air. I need- _

I jolt awake so fast I get instant vertigo, sucking in air like it’s for the last time. It comes in shaky gasps, and as soon as I’m able to speak I close my eyes and recite under my breath with quick practice, “One, two, three, four, five, I’m alive, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, breathe again.” 

With deeper breaths I calm myself down, practiced from the thousands of nights in my life where I’d woken up from nightmares… but nothing like this. It was never anything like that, reliving something I’d already experienced. Albeit a much more dramatic, nightmarish version of it… I almost wish to have the White Lion’s test dreams back.

I run a hand through my hair, and that’s when I notice it’s shaking.  _ I’m  _ shaking.

_ I need to do something. I need to get out of here, do something productive… and leave that dream behind me. _

I stand up and pull on some discarded pants, grabbing my bayard from the ground next to my abandoned gear and head to the training deck.  _ Might as well try and get better with my bayard or whatever. I’d like to hit something at least.  _ I walk into the lightened hall, no doubt it’s early morning, my bare feet slapping on the white floors as I clutch my bayard at hand. Honestly I’m still a bit asleep as I didn’t even notice that I’m in nothing but a t-shirt and boxers until I turn a corner and approach the training deck, hearing the sound of fighting within. I blink, curious, and peek my head in non-committedly around the corner to spy on who’s already here.

The Gladiator whirls into view and slices downwards with its staff and a flash of black rises from out of nowhere and slices through its side with a red blade. The Gladiator stumbles but raises its staff in a counter attack, which Keith blocks with ease. With a upward thrust and a roll, Keith disengages the Gladiator’s lance and slices through the middle where it left itself exposed, and the robot crumples to the ground, effectively deactivated. Keith stands in the center with his back to me, catching his breath with his bayard retracting in his hand. I can see the sweat glistening on his forearms from here, the rapid rise and fall of his chest, when he turns and-

I turn and slam my back into the wall so hard it audibly thuds.  _ Nope. This is definitely not helping. Definitely not. _

_ I can’t train in these conditions. _

…  _ I’ll go get breakfast instead. _

_ \--- _

The day is arduous, filled with so many training sequences with our lions out in the deserts of Arus that I want to simply collapse by the time Shiro says we should be done for the day. Even despite my exhaustion, I know that the time with our lions is well spent; I definitely have a better handle on where things are within my lion, I feel like I can actually, you know, fly a little decently, and it’s nice.

“Dude, I still can’t believe I was able to do that barrel roll on the first try!” Lance cries enthusiastically, pumping his fist in the air, “I mean, it’s no surprise, I’m amazing, but like, I still think I deserve some recognition.”

“For the fifth time,” Pidge states with a teasing lilt. 

Hunk responds charismatically, “You did a great barrel roll, Lance-”

Keith raises an eyebrow cockily at Lance, “-but didn’t that also cause you to fly into that piece of Galra junk, though?”

Lance scoffs as we walk towards the dining room for some dinner, waving his hands at Keith dismissively, “Please, you’re just jealous!”

“You guys have definitely improved over these last few days.” Shiro speaks with a warm smile as he strides behind us, his gaze just as amiable as his tone. We walk into the dining room, and in the center of the table is a massive bowl of green goo where Coran and Allura are seated, eating quietly as we stroll in.

“Greetings, young Paladins!” Coran cries enthusiastically as soon as we enter the room, whirling in his chair to face us with his bowl of goo at hand, “How fares your training?”

“We’re making progress.” Shiro answers with the evasive grin of a politician. I immediately slide into a seat with an empty bowl and snatch the big bowl just as Hunk sits down and moves to do the same. I smack his hand with my spoon, and he looks at me with a wide-eyed, hurt expression as I scoop some goo into my bowl, “Hey, lemme get some first, I know you’re gonna take most of it!”

“Will not!” Hunk argues vehemently, but as we all give him incredulous, disbelieving looks he sheepishly releases the bowl and fiddles with his fingers in his lap, “Okay, fine…”

“Don’t you worry, Hunk!” Coran waves his spoon animatedly, some goo dripping to the tabletop as he speaks, “There’ll be plenty of goo for everyone.”

“You underestimate how  _ hungry  _ I am.” Pidge groans loudly, and as soon as I release the bowl he reaches across the table and snatches it. He scoops up a sizable portion into his bowl with a loud  _ plop _ before he hands it to Hunk, who immediately gets to work on piling his bowl as high as possible with goo.

“So, what is this stuff, anyway?” Keith pipes up across the table where he sits next to Shiro and Pidge, glancing at Coran with a raised eyebrow.

Allura answers, folding her hands politely on the table, “It’s galligorp! It’s components have the greatest volume per unit size in the galaxy, packed with excellent nutrition for long journeys. It’s the primary source of food for Altean travelers, and unfortunately, it’s the only thing in the Castle’s food supplies that has… aged well.” She glances off to the side with a tapping finger to her jaw before she glances at Coran, “Perhaps that should be our next project, salvaging and converting any resources we have available within the Castle to restock?”

“Excellent idea, Princess.” Coran answers with a deft nod, his bushy mustache bobbing with the movement as he stands up with a perky bounce, picking up his empty bowl from the table, “Now, I must be off, I have to finish calibrating the callriphian alignments!”

“Of course, Coran.” Allura answers with a polite smile as Coran excuses himself, marching out of the room with a spring in his step.

“He’s a funky little dude, isn’t he?” I joke with a raised eyebrow, spooning some goo into my mouth. 

Allura chuckles under her breath, “Certainly, ‘funky’ is a way to put it.” She tests the word on her tongue for a moment, before she too rises with her bowl at hand, yet despite the domestic nature of our interaction, her every movement seems to be regal.  _ Guess that’s what comes from being a princess.  _ “I must get going, but I’m happy to hear that your training is going well.”

As Allura turns to leave, Shiro clears his throat, “Sorry, Allura, I don’t suppose you have a timeline for when we’re leaving Arus?” I glance over at Shiro with a raised eyebrow and see the tension in his shoulders, the taut pressure in his brow and his jaw, and the nervous glint in his eyes.

“Only about a colorp.” Allura states confidently, like that just about solves everything as she turns and elegantly sweeps out of the room.

Lance gazes after her with a total heart-eyes expression, and sighs dramatically,  _ “Colorp...” _

“Jesus, Lance, can you be any more straight?” I huff with an eye-roll, shaking my head as I scrape the bottom of my bowl for the last of the green goo. 

Pidge snickers next to Lance and elbows him with a cocked eyebrow, “Yeah Lance, try harder.”

I blink and look at him incredulously, “No, that’s not what I-“

“I am trying!” Lance huffs indignantly, throwing his hands dramatically into the air, “It’s only a matter of time before she’s falling all over me, you’ll see!”

I stand up awkwardly with a shake of my head, turning towards the door with a vague gesture, “I think I’m gonna go back to my room, I’m beat. See y’all for training tomorrow.” I hear the vague departing words of the others as the door closes behind me, and I head back towards my room. I pull off my armor as I walk through the door, my muscles aching and sore from the work the day wrought. I can feel new muscles forming and strengthening in my arms, legs, shoulders, back.  _ I’m gonna look so damn hot if this keeps up. _

I curl up on my bed and under the covers, grabbing my backpack from the side of the room with a sweep of my hand. I haven’t really taken anything out of it since we got here, and I figure I might as well make use of the bookshelf at the foot of my bed. I yank out my five course notebooks, one for Shakespeare, AP Econ, AP Bio, Calculus, and International Relations, then my  _ Hamlet, _ my  _ Midsummer Night’s Dream _ , my  _ Merchant of Venice _ , and my economics textbook before dumping the handful of black, blue, and red pens thrown at the bottom of the bag. I place the plays in a line on the left side of the bookshelf, closest to the door, and then stack the notebooks on top of eachother in the middle on top of my economics textbook,  _ don’t know how helpful having Shakespeare and an econ textbook in space will be, but I could stand to decorate my new room a bit. _

I glance around, chewing on my lip for a way to remedy this.  _ I can start with a sign on my door, like what Hunk has… but I’m shit at drawing. Maybe I’ll just write my name in a funky way.  _ I grab the notebooks and shift through them.  _ I don’t think I’ll be back in time to take the finals, so I don’t think these will be of much use to me anyway, I can repurpose these for something that can help me pass the time.  _

Almost all of my notebooks save for International Relations and Shakespeare are more than halfway full of notes, so I use one of those to tear pages out of. I rip out a sheet from Calculus and grab my Economics textbook to write on, and write my name in big block letters, coloring in the middle with blue and red stripes. I carefully rip the edges as clean as I can manage, before I realize I have nothing to tape it up with. Swearing, I rifle through my backpack,  _ I thought I had a roll of Scotch tape in here- Aha.  _ I grab it from where it was hidden in the front pocket, biting my lip as I examine the narrow roll.  _ Gotta make this last.  _ I roll up small strips and paste them on the back of my page, and once I’m finished I open my door and paste it on the front.  _ Alright. At least everyone knows this is my room, now.  _

I return to my room as the door slides closed, sitting back on my bed with a huff and staring at the scattered notebooks and pens. 

I love to create, writing music, playing music, writing stories, all the things that disappointed my parents and teachers but gave me such unequivocal joy that I persist to do anyway, for myself and no one else. Music has always been my thing big thing, writing it and playing it, but I don’t have a keyboard here, or a guitar, or even a uke, nothing. I got jack shit. But the itch in my fingers, to create, to make something new, and to feel the energy release from it is getting harder to ignore. Now, staring at my notebooks and knowing I actually have a second to breathe, I have to do something about it, anything at all. 

I like to write fantasy worlds, where I don’t have to worry about historical accuracy because I can make up my own, but I left all my story books at home.  _ I don’t want to start over with the stories I already had, and I don’t have any ideas right now… But I  _ **_do_ ** _ have something pretty fantastical going on, surprisingly, in reality.  _

I grab my Shakespeare notebook and cross a line dividing from the notes I took a week ago about Merchant of Venice being either a tragedy or a comedy into a new section. Careful and deliberate with my words, I release anxious energy, my burrowing desire to create deep under my skin, onto the page through the ink and through the motion, inscribing my journey from Earth to Arus. 

I write about the last White Lion dream I had, the circle of flames, the shadow and the faceless man, the day after, talking to Connor, getting sent to the principal’s office by Mr. Roads, then hearing the White Lion in the hall. I want to use frilly words, expanding on the situation and the details of the surrounding, but there’s so much  _ more  _ that I need to write that I want to save it for later, for when it truly matters. I write about trekking into the desert, breaking into the Garrison compound, even though it was more like just going under a weak chain link fence rather than  _ breaking and entering  _ even though that’s how the courts would’ve seen it. I describe the light behind my eyelids, the White Lion guiding me to the Blue, but the more I write the more I realize that Silver wasn’t actually leading me to the  _ Blue Lion  _ perce, but guiding me to the others, the rest of the team when they showed up just after I got there. 

I describe every Paladin with detail; Pidge’s oversized hoodie, round glasses, his choppy hair and his dinging device.  _ It does really look like Pidge cut his own hair, but I wonder why? How old even is he, anyway? I’m going with the theory that he’s the twin of the Holt’s daughter that I saw at the funeral, and she’s only like, 14, 15 at most, so he’s got to be around the same.  _ Lance’s jacket, his sneakers, his wicked smirk and  _ don’t take me seriously  _ attitude,  _ did he really ever meet Keith in person before the night they got Shiro? Where’s he from, why did he want to go to the Garrison to be a pilot? What did he want to gain?  _ Hunk’s puffy vest and his friendly giant persona, his intense love for food and his uneasy stomach.  _ He seems like a straightforward person, I don’t feel like he’s hiding behind his amicable attitude like how Lance hides, but I’m more than certain that he’s got more to him than what he’s letting out.  _ Keith’s ugly jacket, knife, and fingerless gloves,  _ Mr. Brooding Wonder _ .  _ He was at the Garrison for years before he dropped out, what made him go? What happened to him to be so distrustful? What happened to his parents, and how did he meet Shiro?  _ Ah, Shiro.  _ I wonder how he lost his arm, and how he got a Galra-made prosthetic to put in its place. Why would the Galra give him a prosthetic in the first place? Has his hair always had that shock of white in the front? Has he always had that scar over his nose? I feel like he has, but I don’t remember.  _

My holographic panel next to my bed makes a soft clicking noise, and when I raise my head my neck immediately aches from the movement. I realize I’ve been hunched over my notebook in a bad position for my back, so I take a breath to relax my shoulders to stretch it out, leaning forward and tap my holographic panel to see what the noise was from.

It’s a software update, or at least it looks like one, with a bar across the screen downloading something in Altean before it goes away after a couple seconds. The time says it’s getting close to midnight, so I close my notebook and lie down in bed, and tap my holographic panel to turn off the lights in my room.

The exhaustion from the day comes in waves, dragging me deeper into the mattress in a soft, comfortable darkness before it all fades away.

\---

_ Soft lips caress the back of my neck, and I can’t help the giggle that escapes from the tickling sensation. I reach around and hold Damien’s hand in mine as he buries his face into my neck. _

_ “You’re such a sap sometimes.” I murmur gingerly as Damien’s arms wrap around my middle. I relax into his touch and lean into his shoulder as his kisses migrate from my neck to my jaw, before he plants a gentle one square on my nose. _

_ “Only for you. You bring it out in me.” Damien’s sky blue eyes glimmer like sun shining on a glassy pond as he touches my chin with his thumb and forefinger, dragging my gaze up to meet his before he murmurs, “Because you’re all mine, aren’t you?” _

_ “Of course!” I answer with a giddy laugh, and I rest my hands on his shoulders as I turn to face him fully, “So come on, drop the coffee, how’s life at the Garrison?” _

_ Damien rolls his eyes as his hands comfortably rest on my thigh, “It’s the usual. I keep getting paired up with idiots who don’t know the starboard from the bow.” I have no idea what that means, but I laugh anyway as he continues, “I really wanna go on that Kerberos mission though, but I hear they’re bringing out some washed up dude from the top to pilot the nerds.” His fingers clench around my hand in an unconscious twist, but I ignore the pain by biting down on my lip so I can look at him attentively as he huffs, “That should be me, you know?” _

_ “Yeah, it should!” I proclaim with ease, squeezing his hand a little more tenderly in mine which brings him to the present and relax his grip, “You’re the best pilot I know, if they don’t choose you, they’re stupid!” _

_ Damien curls his lip at me with a slight sneer, “Come on, what other pilots do you know? Cheating on me with other Garrison boys, huh?” _

_ I roll my eyes with a laugh, “Oh please, why would I when I’m with you?” _

_ “That’s right.” Damien’s eyes glint with that delicious, mischievous light as he leans forward, his hand releasing mine and instead sliding up to my throat, and I give him a teasing grin as his voice rumbles against the column of my throat, “Who do you belong to?” _

_ “You.” I answer breathlessly, staring into his eyes with absolute love and adoration that’s damn near tangible as he beams. _

_ …  _

I open my eyes. I roll onto my side, a deep, dark, empty, bottomless void filling my chest as I close my eyes again, burying my head under my pillow. 

_ Oh, I don’t like these new dreams. _

_ Why am I remembering a time when I was happy with him? Before I knew who he  _ **_really_ ** _ was? What’s there to gain from that except to fuck with my head? _

_ Fucking hell.  _ I rip off the pillow from over my head and throw it at the wall with a frustrated sigh, before I get up and pull on some pants from my drawer.  _ I’ll go train instead, work up a good sweat, get better with my bayard, shower. Distract myself. Yes, distraction good. _

I stomp down the hall with a heat in my face that burns to my throat and to my chest, clutching my bayard so hard that my knuckles turn white, fortunately this time I remembered to actually put clothes on before I marched out.  _ I would love to hit something right now. I would love, love, _ **_love_ ** _ to hit something really fucking hard. _

I approach the training deck, and with a metallic clang my anger suddenly dissipates as I hear fighting coming from within. I blink, and peer around the corner and, sure enough, just like yesterday, it’s Keith, fighting this time against the circular drones we faced on the first day. He dives to the left and slices one in half, causing it to crackle and call to the ground in two neat halves as he dodges an incoming bolt from another drone. Keith backs up in defense, before he does a roundhouse kick and knock the drone into the wall with a loud sound, like a phone getting smashed on the ground, ending the simulation. The anger within me is completely gone, replaced with awe at Keith's form, and dedication. This is the second day in a row that he’s been here training before we train as a team,  _ does he come here and train alone every morning before breakfast? Does he even sleep?  _ Keith turns in my direction and immediately I duck from line of sight, my hand over my chest as my back hits the wall.  _ Shit. Shit.  _

_ Why is my heart racing like I just got caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to? _

I take a deep, quieting breath as I hear the training deck chime with the commencement of another training session. Slowly, I shake my head, and head back from whence I came.

_ Fuck it, I’m taking a shower. I’ll train later. _

_ \--- _

Shiro works us hard, today he wanted to practice forming, unforming, and then reforming Voltron, over and over and over again. It's exhausting, to let go and to catch onto the others like that, we can only manage it for about an hour before everyone’s shaking and begging Shiro for a break, and I’m pretty sure he only complies because he too is exhausted by it as well. We eat lunch together, completely silent as we're fucking exhausted as Allura walks into the room. She's dressed in her battle attire with her hair pinned at the nape of her neck, immediately commanding the attention of the room as I scrape the last of my goo into my mouth. It's been the only thing we've eaten for the past…  _ fuck, how many days has it been since we got here? _ I would be worried for my health, eating only one thing for several days, but I find that it's actually quite energizing. I wonder what's in this stuff that makes it so nutritious.  _ Actually, maybe not, it’s probably something I don’t want to know, like how insects are also nutritious… but I ain’t biting the head off a spider. _

"How fares your training?" Allura asks in a conversational tone, resting an arm casually on the back of Shiro's chair as she approaches. 

Lance snatches up the opportunity, flashing her a charming smile, "Now that you're here, it-" 

Shiro clears his throat and turns to Allura with an apologetic gaze, "We're getting better, but we could always improve. Any ideas?" 

Allura nods with a slight smile, “You’ve had two days to train, why don’t you try your hands at the Gladiator once more?” 

Immediately the table groans in complaint, but the loudest is Hunk as he plants his head directly on the table, “I pulled my arm in training two days ago and I already feel like I got hit by a baseball bat everywhere, I don’t need a robot to do that to me, too!” 

Shiro allows a wry grin as he raises an eyebrow at Allura, “That sounds like an excellent idea.” 

More, loud groans ensue and I eagerly join them, slumping my back against the chair, but Shiro doesn’t seem to notice as he raises an eyebrow at Allura, “How’re preparations for the Castle coming?” 

Allura straightens, her shoulders pushing back as she replies, “There are still several systems that are undergoing updates. It’s a painstaking process, I know, but as soon as all the systems are up to date and checked for stability, we’ll be off.” She touches Shiro’s shoulder with a gentle, reassuring hand, her gaze piercing into his for several seconds, conveying some sort of meaning in them that I can’t discern. I flicker my gaze between the two of them just as she pulls away and turns to stride out the door, “Let me know how your training commences. If you need Coran and I for anything please let us know!” 

“Sure thing, thanks, Princess.” Shiro responds as he spoons another bite of his goo into his mouth, completely undeterred. We’re all silent as Allura leaves, and as soon as the doors are closed Lance sucks in breath so sharply it startles everyone in the room. 

“Lance, you good?” Pidge blinks at Lance with wide eyes, looking at him from over his glasses like a concerned librarian. 

_ “Yeah.”  _ Lance squeaks, his wide blue eyes fixed on Shiro before he clears his throat and states in a tone that’s more familiar, his eyes dropping to his bowl as he shoved goo into his mouth like his life depends on it, “Yeah, I’m good.” 

We all blink with wide eyes between Lance and Shiro, who eats quietly, oblivious. That is until he realizes that we’re all staring at him, to which he blinks at us innocently, “What?”

I glance over at Lance, the red that’s rising in his ears and the goo he’s about to choke on, and I realize exactly what’s going on.  _ Oh God _ **_damnit._ **

_ There’s no way that there’s something going on with Allura and Shiro. They’ve kind of been acting like our parents for the past few days, what driving us into the dirt and all, but they’re just… No. I do not sense any type of synergy there, but looking at the discomfort in the others’ faces I can’t say that it’s just me. Well, actually, Keith looks pretty unfazed, or rather his expression is completely unreadable as it always fucking is but anyway…  _

I bite it.  _ We’re clearing this up  _ **_right now_ ** _ before this gets dragged out. _ “Shiro,” I say with a gentle voice, trying my best not to sound accusatory as I rest my hands on the table, drumming my fingers as I spit out the words before I lose the courage, “Not to pry or anything, but we’re a team, you know, and I think as a team, it’s important that we’re… candid, and honest with each other when it comes to how we interact-” 

“-Are you and Allura a thing?” Hunk blurts out before I finish. 

I look down at the table with wide eyes as the table goes disturbingly quiet, even more awkward than before. I click my tongue on the roof of my mouth, drumming my fingertips on the table again as I look over at Hunk’s innocent gaze, “Well I wasn’t gonna say it like  _ that. _ ” 

The room’s filled with immediate, loud laughter. We all blink in utter shock as Shiro laughs, like full on, head thrown back, bellowing laughter that fills the cavernous room. His shoulders shake as he takes wheezing breaths, the remains of his bright laugh trailing off when he sees we’re staring at him like deer in headlights. He clears his throat, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he looks at us with his straight back presses back into his seat, “... You’re being serious.” 

“Uh… Yeah.” Pidge mumbles lamely, staring at Shiro with wide eyes as we all wordlessly look at Shiro with equally owlish gazes. The awkwardness in the room is  _ tangible. Why is he laughing? _

“No.” Shiro states with a slight flicker of confusion across his face as he looks at us each individually, “No, Allura and I are not... What makes you think…?”

Immediately we all begin launching into explanations at once, Hunk’s saying something like, “I didn’t actually think anything like that, it was all Lance,” and Lance is holding his hands in the air with a flabbergasted, “You never know what happens in space, man,” and Pidge is cleaning his glasses with absolute discomfort as he’s saying something like, “Yeah, of course you aren’t, my bad, that was a stupid thought anyway-” I’m trying to say “Well it wasn’t  _ me  _ who thought that, I swear they just did-” Until Shiro stands up, touching his prosthetic to the table. We all immediately clam up, looking up at Shiro with wide eyes and a held breath before he speaks with a soft smile, “Alright, well, with that cleared up, let’s get going.” 

“Yes!” “Absolutely-!” “Of course, yeah I  _ love  _ the Gladiator, I’m so ready-” “I’m ready, yes, let’s go-” We’re speaking over each other before we blossom into awkward laughter, flickering our gazes to one another in mutual understanding of the crisis we just averted. Keith, however, looks completely confused, looking at all of us like we’ve grown three heads before his face returns to neutrality.

I’m glad I said something, because I can only imagine how awkward it was gonna be with Lance’s crush on Allura getting interfered with our sudden suspicion of  _ Shiro  _ liking her or whatever- 

As we all head to the training deck I pause as the others start talking, almost to compensate for the deafening silence that just permeated in the dining room.  _ He started laughing when we asked him that. He was completely blown away that we actually thought that…  _

_ His fiance’s name is Adam.  _

_ Oh my god, I’m an idiot. He gay.  _

I flicker my gaze over to Shiro, who walks alongside the rest of us with a slight smile spread across his features, and I can’t help getting giddy.  _ Thank God I’m not alone! Gays assemble! I thought everybody here was…  _

I pause on that assumption, flickering my gaze over to the rest of the group.  _ Actually… I haven’t the faintest idea what the other’s sexualities are. Lance’s is suspiciously  _ **_too_ ** _ heterosexual for it to be candid, Pidge and Hunk who fucking knows, with some people my gaydar just goes ‘who’s to say’, and then Keith’s…  _ I glance over at Keith, his hands shoved in his jacket as he walks beside Shiro. I chew on my lip.  _ Out of everybody else, he’s kind of the straightest person here, I suppose, but no one here at all acts like the heteros at my school. If Keith walked down the halls of my school I would’ve most certainly nailed him as queer on some level, and I definitely would’ve- _

I choke back that thought and brush it aside without a second thought.

_ Anyway, I really can’t assume sexuality based on how they act, it isn’t fair.  _ I shrug the thoughts aside as we walk onto the training deck. 

Shiro moves to the side of the room where lies a small button, and when he presses it a holographic screen pops up, where he types in several commands before the hologram fades.  _ Ah, so that’s how you start simulations from down here.  _

Shiro strides back towards us as we summon our bayards in preparation for the Gladiator’s arrival. Hunk swallows as he hefts his gun at hand, but not before wincing at his poor arm, “So, Shiro, what level did you set this thing at?” 

Shiro merely smiles secretively, but he isn’t given an opportunity to respond as the Gladiator clunks onto the floor a few feet away from me, its staff held at the ready. Hunk lets out a cry that’s a mix between a shriek of terror and a battle cry as he immediately begins firing on the Gladiator. Fortunately, this time his shots are with much better accuracy than the last time we were here. Keith and Pidge immediately flank the robot right as the Gladiator swings its staff in a wide arcl; Pidge dodges out of the way just in time but Keith’s just a second too slow, getting struck in the chest and sent flying just by me. I grab the back of his suit before he skids away as the Gladiator rushes Hunk. He yells again as he cranks the firing rounds of his bayard, sizzling and slowly eating away at the Gladiator’s armor as it approaches. Pidge snaps something on his bayard, the blade racing out towards the Gladiator and looping around its leg. Keith grabs my arm and I tug him upright, turning to advance on the robot with my bayard at hand right as Pidge tugs on his bayard, ripping the Gladiator’s legs out from beneath it right. The Gladiator clanks against the ground right as Lance fires from where he stands a safe distance away with his bayard, shooting several blue bolts directed at the Gladiator’s head, but it dodges to the side just in time to avoid the blasts where they instead leave blast marks on the floor. The Gladiator yanks on its captured leg and rips a shocked Pidge forward with a sharp yelp, sending him flying directly into Hunk ahead of the Gladiator. Pidge crashes into Hunk, who shouts in surprise and instinctively fires his bayard off a few shots in my direction. 

I raise my bayard with a sudden jerk and as soon as my hands grasp either end the rippling barrier rises, absorbing the askew blasts just before they strike.  _ Phew. Yay, instincts working. _ I let out a relieved breath as Keith seems to collect himself, rushing past me and towards the Gladiator. It dodges to the sides to avoid the blazing bolts of blue energy, advancing on Lance who fires on him desperately, stepping backwards with quick steps to escape and getting closer to me. 

Keith kicks off the wall and brings his sword down onto the Gladiator with full force, but it lifts its staff just in time, using Keith’s momentum to send him flying off to the side where he collides into Hunk and Pidge, who were just recovering from the last time they were knocked over.  _ Damn, what’re we, milk bottle games? _

I race towards Lance as the Gladiator gets closer and closer, Lance makes something between a shriek and a yell as he blasts the Gladiator in the chest, over and over. It’s sinking into the metal, burning into the wiring but it still advances, only deterred seemingly by the force of the blasts. It raises its staff to swipe at Lance right as I skid to a stop beside him. I activate the shield, the staff bouncing off harmlessly right as Lance fires into its face. But to my shock instead of it hitting the shield or, worse bouncing back at us, the blast phases through the shield and rips a hole straight through the metal of the Gladiator’s face at point blank. 

The Gladiator makes a sad, whirring sound, crumpling to the floor with a crunch of metal against the floor. 

Lance pants beside me as I release the right side of the bayard, the shield falling as I let my bayard rest at my side. The floor opens beneath the robot and swallowing it, leaving no trace it was here save for the blast marks on the floor a few feet away. I glance over at Lance with wide eyes and he at me, and together we whistle lowly. 

“Okay,” I murmur, “Didn’t know it could do that either.” 

Lance suddenly grins wildly, his eyes wide, “Did I just shoot it  _ through  _ your shield? That was so freaking cool!”

Pidge groans from the other side of the room as he rises to his feet, holding his back like he’s an old man about to head to Halo night, “Aww, man! You got it without me?”

“That was so scary!” Hunk, who had just risen to his feet, immediately lets his gun drop to the ground with a loud  _ clank _ , clutching a hand over his heart with dramatic gasps for air. 

Lance however is thriving, cocking his eyebrow as he swings his bayard to rest on his shoulder, “No need to thank me, all in a day’s work.” 

Shiro strides up where he was standing off to the side, beaming from ear to ear, “Way to go, team!” 

I narrow my eyes at him, pointing a bladed end of my bayard at Shiro, “Hey, wait a second, where the hell were you? Shouldn’t you be training with us, too?”

Lance glances at me as he lets his gun fall to his side before he too looks at Shiro with coy indignation, “Yeah, you’re the one that’s always like  _ ‘hurr, team bonding’!  _ You’re a part of the team, too, you know!”

Shiro blinks at us innocently, but before he has a chance to speak Pidge raises an eyebrow at Lance from across the room, pointing his bayard in our direction, “Hey, better question, how’re you two friends all of a sudden?” 

I glance over at Lance and he at me, and I look back at Pidge with a lackadaisical shrug, “Trauma bonding?” 

Hunk waves his hands as he hefts his bayard back up into his arms, “I’m gonna get back on the whole Shiro thing, and let me just say that I don’t say this lightly,” His bayard returns to his suit as he claps his hands together, pointing both of them at Shiro as he speaks, “But I personally will feel a lot safer fighting scary robots if you were with us.” 

“Guys,” Keith interrupts as he moves to stand beside Shiro, his eyebrows furrowed as he regards us with a cutting gaze, “Shiro doesn’t have a bayard.”

Pidge shakes his head, waving his bayard in Shiro’s direction, “Yeah, but have you seen what his hand can do?” 

Shiro, who had been silently watch the scene unfold before him, glances down at his prosthetic hand and clenches it into a fist. Keith doesn’t even glance over in his direction as he sharply retorts, “I’d like to see you fight without a weapon, then, if-”

“No, he’s right, Keith.” Shiro rests a hand on Keith’s shoulder, which immediately clams Keith’s mouth closed as Shiro advances onto the training deck in full, “Alright, let’s do another, and I’ll join you this time.”  

Hunk immediately lets out a breath of relief, “Okay, that’s cool-” 

“-I’ll ramp up the difficulty by a level, to make it more fair.” Shiro adds as he walks back over the hologram, selecting some options on the screen. 

Hunk pauses and stares ahead with his lips puckered before he groans dramatically under his breath, “... Not cool.” 

We close ranks into a tight circle once Shiro rejoins us, and I shift to let him slide into the circle to my right. I grasp both ends of my bayard in preparation, activating the shield as we keep our backs to one another protectively.

A loud metallic crack echoes in the room, and I look over my shoulder to see a fresh, unscarred Gladiator drop the floor, its staff at hand briefly touching the floor as it lands before it immediately rushes the closest target, who in this case is Keith, who stands directly to Shiro’s right. He raises a shield on his left arm and slashes outward with his sword at the robot but it blocks it easily with one end of its lance, but before it can lash out at Keith with the other end Shiro rises to action. I stare as his prosthetic flares to life, a pulsing vibrant violet that hums like the purr of a sports car and with a clenched fist Shiro steps forward, uppercutting the robot with such violent force that his hand rips straight through the armor and comes out the other side like the Gladiator like it’s made of nothing but cream cheese. 

We all stop and stare as Shiro withdraws his prosthetic from the Gladiator’s chest like a viking hero ripping out the heart of his enemy, the robot immediately collapses to the ground and is swallowed by the floor. He turns to face us with a guarded expression as the glow of his prosthetic ceases, and the room is deadly silent.

“So,” Lance ventures as we turn inward towards one another, dropping his bayard down to his side, “That was pretty awesome.”

“Heck yeah it was!” Hunk cries with a pump of his fist in the air, his bayard disappearing into his suit as he wraps both his arms around Shiro’s shoulders in such a tight hug it lifts him off the ground. Shiro blinks with wide eyes with utter shock before Hunk sets him down, grinning from ear to ear, “Please fight with us more often!” 

I let the tip of my bayard rest on the floor, leaning on it like a staff as I regard Shiro with a broad grin, “Okay, that’s a valid excuse for not joining us, I guess. And, just to be clear, that was with the difficulty setting  _ up _ ?” 

“I’m sorry I doubted you, Shiro.” Keith murmurs with surprising gentleness, his bayard retreating into his suit in kind. 

Shiro looks at each of us in turn, a slow, almost shy smile spreads across his features as he crosses his arms over his chest, “Thanks, guys.” He glances back towards the holographic panel and juts at it with his thumb, “So you guys wanna give that a go without me, or..?”

“Good idea,” “Sure, yeah,” “I suppose-” “UM NO _ Shiro please, have mercy-! _ ” Hunk interrupts our agreement but Shiro merely grins in response as heads back to the panel, tapping a button to summon another Gladiator. 

\---

By the time we’re done sparring, it’s early evening, so as a reward for a good day’s work Shiro releases from training. The others disperse into the winds, and I find myself alone in the dining room after the others have finished dinner. I tap my spoon against the bottom of my bowl, leaning my chin in my hand, the others’ dishes stacked beside me. I promised to take them to the dishwasher, but my legs are exhausted, and I would much rather sit here for a hot minute or two before committing to that. Honestly, I’m just happy to be sitting, not having to think about anything except how tired I am and how pleased I am to not have to think about anything.

The door behind me opens, and much to my surprise a peppy voice greets me, “Greetings, number four!” I blink over my shoulder at Coran, raising an eyebrow as he enters. He has one of those handheld devices he had on day one, and as he walks in it dings intermittently with each step like a metal detector. 

“Hey, Coran.” I answer quietly, watching him as he walks by. He takes a sidelong step to the right as he stares at the device before he lunges to the left, the device making different beats of dinging sounds with each movement. Intrigued, I ask with a curious tilt of my head, “Whatcha doin’?” 

“I’m checking on the life support dispersals in the different areas of the Castle to determine if we have any irregularities.” He answers in a matter of fact tone, making another long lunge to the side with his gaze never leaving the device. It continues to ding without pause. 

“So, looking for holes in the ship?” I ask with a raised eyebrow to which Coran calls, “Correct!” I watch as he lunges around the room, like one of those obnoxious varsity athletes in the halls to show  _ oh yeah, I work out.  _

I stand up from the table, readying my excuse to take the bowls to the kitchen but I pause as I stare at the silvery curls on the back of Coran’s head.  _ Coran is certainly a funky dude, but he’s absolutely loaded with knowledge. He’s the second of the two surviving Alteans in the galaxy... but he’s not royalty. He seems to know a lot about the Castle, the Paladins, and a whole bunch of other shit that I can’t even fathom to ask.  _

_ It wouldn’t hurt to pick his brain a bit.  _

“Uh, Coran, may I ask you something?” I ask tentatively, examining Coran’s reaction closely. He pauses as he lunges about the room in long strides, glancing at me over his shoulder as he continues around the room, “Of course, how can I help?”

“Well,” I mumble sheepishly, wondering just where to begin as I watch him lunge away from me.  _ He sure is a funky dude.  _ “It’s kind of personal, so if you aren’t comfortably answering that’s totally fine-”

“Of course! I love to share.” Coran replies quickly, standing upright and examining his dinging device. The dinging ceases, and as he places it in the breast pocket of his uniform he turns to me and places a foot up on the seat across the table, his grin wide and toothy beneath his ridiculous mustache, “Perhaps you care to hear of my many exploits? The venture into the Hallowing Shallows, the Great Dark Beyond, the  _ Cheesemart _ ?” He raises an eyebrow at me, as if gauging my excitement levels based on my reaction.

I merely stare at him owlishly, “Um… No, but that sounds really interesting for another time.” I smile diplomatically, running a hand through my hair as I peer down at the table in search for words, “I wanted to ask… What happened? Before you woke up in the stasis pod, I mean.” 

Coran’s attitude visibly dampens, his foot falling from the seat as he instead clasps his hands in front of him, just like Allura does when she’s thinking. “Ah, I see, that’s a different tale indeed.”

“Again, if it’s too personal-”

“No, no, it’s quite alright.” Coran waves me off as his silvery blue eyes flicker to mine with a returning spark; they’re so bizarre, especially with the lilac pupils, it makes them difficult to read.  _ Are Altean idiosyncrasies even similar to human ones? _ After a beat Coran fixes his arms behind his back, “I am the…” He immediately pauses again, hesitating as his gaze snaps from the floor back to my face, “Err, I was the Chief Technician to the Castle of Lions and Advisor to King Alfor. I oversaw the systems and the personnel that managed the Castle, and served the king without question, whatever he needed, I was his man.” He juts a thumb towards himself proudly, and although his movements and voice is just as peppy as usual his eyes are distant and surprisingly quiet; almost everything Coran has done up until now has been very loud, boisterous, and now that I’m seeing him this way I wonder if he’s doing that on purpose to show that all’s fine and dandy, kind of like Lance. 

“We were on a moon deep in space, thinking of a way to keep the lions away from Zarkon’s grasp when our scanners revealed that he was only a few varga out from our location, and gaining fast.” Coran continues, speaking very much like a historian recounting an event that they read about rather than experienced, “So, King Alfor devised a plan: the Green, Yellow, and Blue Paladins took wormholes throughout random points of space to hide their lions, and they didn’t tell a single soul where they were going so as to prevent any knowledge getting out. When they needed to be found again, the Castle would be able to locate them. King Alfor remained with the Red Lion, intending to use it to keep Zarkon’s main forces distracted to give the other Paladins the chance to hide.” 

I raise an eyebrow in surprise, “Wait a minute… With the Red Lion?” Coran nods. Persisting I add, “Was King Alfor the Red Paladin?” 

Coran hesitates, and I can see his gaze flickering off to the side in a way that gives me pangs of suspicion before he nods, “Yes, he was.” 

“Oh wow, that’s really cool.” I murmur, eyes flickering wide as I digest the information.  _ King Alfor of Planet Altea, at least as a concept, seems radically different than our Keith Kogane. Not that he’s a downgrade or anything like that, it’s just… very different. I wonder who the other paladins were?  _

“What happened to the Red Lion after?” I ask curiously, watching Coran closely.

Coran answers without looking up from his device, his feet planted firmly on the ground beneath him, “I don’t know. He said he would have it taken care of, and I didn’t think to question it.” He opens his mouth like he wants to say more, but instead he closes it again with a shake of his head, raising himself up as he looks at me with a high brow, “Now, would you like to hear the rest of the story or not?” He chastises me with a wave of his finger, and I raise my hands in surrender and immediately nod for him to continue. He seems pleased with this, continuing his tale with a more confident tone, “Allura and I were left in command of the Castle of Lions. We were ordered to remain at a safe distance as backup for Alfor to fall back to, but he got overwhelmed faster than we all anticipated.” Coran meets my gaze as his hands rest on the back of the chair he’s standing by, his expression is masked, mostly by his mustache, “When he returned, Zarkon was upon us with full force. All seemed lost… Until Alfor made the decision to use the entirety of his lifeforce to wormhole the Castle so far away that Zarkon wouldn’t be able to find it, or the Black Lion within.” 

I blink with wide eyes at Coran as his voice cracks, but somehow he remains such strong composure that I never would’ve known his words upset him had his voice remained regular. I step around the table and rest a hand on his shoulder. He gives me a gentle look, and for once I see the light blue marks beneath his eyes are well defined, like they were drawn onto his skin.  _ I wonder if this is the Altean version of crow’s feet. _

“He didn’t tell Allura that that was his plan.” Coran speaks softly as he turns his gaze away from mine, instead regarding the wall, “He had just placed her within the cryo-pod… but then he told me his plan once she was inside.” His gaze turns to the side as he rests his arm against the back of the dining room chair, “He made me promise to protect her, that he would send someone after us when all was safe.” He meets my gaze, his mustache twitching, “Well, someone did inevitably come... but since you didn’t know King Alfor, I knew that he didn’t send you.”

I suck in breath after a moment, staring at Coran with wide eyes before I murmur, “Jesus, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry.” 

Coran raises an eyebrow at me with a perplexed expression, but any seriousness on his face fades as he smiles, pronouncing the wrinkles that only emerge between his brows when he smiles, “Don’t be. This is what he would’ve wanted. Although your little band of Earthlings isn’t what I imagined the next Paladins of Voltron being, you haven’t done half bad thus far!” His pointed ears twitch as he gives me a knowing look, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of new Paladins forming Voltron the day they’re accepted by their lions.” 

The next question feels natural, “How many other paladins have there been?” 

Coran wordlessly shrugs, “For as long as recorded memory can trace the presence of Voltron. The earliest paladins I know of are referred to as the Fifth Quintent Paladins; they established the Paladin code and are considered the precedent of which all paladins are judged against, but there are many discrepancies as to  _ who  _ they were. Every planet claims that at least one, if not all of the paladins came from them. But their personalities, their quintessence patterns, are the outlines that new paladins are compared to when determination compatibility.”

I’m quiet for a long time as I regard Coran’s purposefully amicable expression, internally shuffling for more questions to ask but coming up blank.  _ I’m a little too tired for a continued alien history lesson. We’ll continue this later. _ Slowly, I disengage but not before I pat Coran’s shoulder gently, “Thanks for sharing that with me. It makes me feel better, knowing what the context is, jumping into y’all’s lives like this.” 

“Of course!” Coran grins happily as he disengages in turn, producing the device from his breast pocket and turning the dinging back on with a tap of his gloves finger on the surface, “Now, if you’ll please excuse me, I have to ensure the Castle’s interior is secure before we test the life support systems tomorrow!” 

“Yeah, ‘course.” I answer with a nod, grabbing up the bowls littered on the table, “You’re doing great.” 

Coran pauses, glancing back at me with a comical raise of his eyebrows before he flashes me a grin, “Naturally! I am the Coranic!” 

I smile slightly and give him a farewell nod, but just as I’m about to walk out of the room I pause, biting my lip and turning back with a questioning look, “Hey, Coran?”

“Yes?” He replies as he makes a very long lunge, toe to toe in a near split from one part of the wall to the other with his dinging device at hand. 

“... What about the Black and White Paladins?”

Coran blinks at me with wide, innocent eyes, freezing before he begins another lunge and immediately retorting, “What about them?” 

_ Well, that’s suspicious.  _

“You said the Green, Yellow, and Blue Paladins took wormholes to hide their lions and King Alfor stayed behind with the Red Lion to hide the Black Lion, but you didn’t mention the Black or White Paladins at all. Or the White Lion.” 

Coran looks away with me with wide eyes, flickering his eyes back and forth across the floor like he’s reading a script before they rise to meet mine again, speaking in a completely normal manner, “They’d left together ahead of time.” 

_ I don’t know much about Altean tells, but that certainly seems like a fat lie to me.  _

Without another word he turns his back on me and makes another large lunge down the center of the room, calling, “Now if you’ll please excuse me..!” He makes a particularly long lunge and I hear what sounds like his hip crack from here to which he immediately makes a pleased noise. I curl my lip.  _ Okay, so that’s all he’s willing to tell me right now. _ I walk out of the room with the pile of bowls at arm, leaving him to his work.

_ So, King Alfor was the Red Paladin. That’s kind of a big piece of info, but I haven’t any clue what to do with it. But now, after giving it a minute to settle I think that that talk with Coran leaves me with more questions than answers… specifically about the Paladin who was before me. From what I’ve seen with Allura and Coran they seem to be very human in their interactions, with their gestures, smiling meaning happiness, etc, and when I asked him about my lion he seemed to be exhibiting some real strong signals that he was lying but I haven’t any clue if he was really or if it’s just an Altean colloquial thing. And he adamantly emphasized on how important it was to keep the Castle of Lions away from Zarkon, which makes sense to me because it housed an important piece of Voltron and Allura, I imagine King Alfor would’ve wanted to protect his daughter at all costs… But it raises several questions. What happened to Allura’s mother? Why was Allura with them on the front lines like that? And I find it odd that he was so specific, he mentioned keeping the Castle of Lions and keeping the  _ **_Black Lion_ ** _ away from Zarkon, why didn’t he just say the Castle? Unless he also meant the Lion too? _

_ I’m probably just reading too much into this.  _

I dump the dishes off at the kitchen and head to my room. As I pass the other’s rooms I can hear Lance and Hunk loudly talking about something indistinct behind Hunk’s closed door, it sounds jovial but I decide to leave it be.  _ I’m pretty tired and don’t really wanna hang out with anyone more right now. I think I’m just gonna go to sleep.  _ I peel out of my suit once I arrive to my room, rolling my shoulders with a groan as I get into pajamas and I’m out as soon as my head hits the pillow.

\---

_ “F-Fuck!” My breath is in rugged gasps, my eyes firmly shut as wave after wave of pleasure rocks into me, moaning with utter abandon, “God, please, harder..!” Damien grabs my wrists and pins them on the duvet as he delivers a hard thrust, leaving me gasping for breath. He leans in close, whispering with a touch of breathlessness into my ear with his forehead rested against mine, “You’re a needy little slut, aren’t you?” _

_ Embarrassment burns in my cheeks, enough to bring me out of the heady clouds I was comfortable embracing as he snaps his hips back and rams into me with a twist. I let out a strangled moan as he leans over me and I hear a faint, jingling fumble from what sounds like his long discarded pants. Before I can complain about his lack of movement, I feel hard leather being wrapped around my wrists, and I jerk my hands to my chest impulsively in surprise. _

_ Damien reacts immediately, pressing his hand against my throat roughly in a manner that doesn’t cut off my breath, but definitely makes it more difficult as he growls in my ear, “Don’t you pull away from me again, you hear?” _

_ His voice is so… dark. Frighteningly dark that a cold shiver runs down my spine as I wordlessly nod, unable to speak or think anything other than ‘what the fresh fuck was that?’ He ties my wrists and then fastens his belt to his bedpost, surprisingly effectively tying me down as he purrs, “Now that’s much better. You look so good like this, Will.” He whispers in a soft manner, a complete reverse of what his voice just was, I guess he’s just trying out that dirty talking thing or whatever but I don’t get the chance to say anything before he’s moving again, driving into me with such a force that my voice cracks and my head falls back, a heady moan breathes from my lungs. With a sudden twist, he grabs my thighs and pulls out, and I’m left shivering from the lack of warmth, but before I can even speak he rolls me over onto my stomach, spreads my knees apart and presses back into me. My fingertips dig into the leather of his belt as I bite his sheets, hiding my low moan as he starts fucking me into the mattress. It’s so good, so deliciously good that I’m on cloud nine, I moan freely, rocking back into him as a wonderful, hot warmth builds within me right when he grabs my hair, yanking me upright. I gasp, his belt pulling hard on my wrists as he tugs my hair back and slams into me with full force, and I desperately hold onto the bed post to keep from clocking my face into the wall. His other hand crawls up my chest and wraps around my throat, and my cock aches as he continues to thrust into me with complete abandon. His grip tightens but I’m ready, I took a deep breath before hand once I noticed he’s close, and I feel closer, God, yes, yes, yes…! _

_ Spots dance before my vision, my lungs aching as I feel his thrusts stutter out of time, and he’s biting the back of my neck, it’s rough, it hurts, but I let him as he whispers sweet nothings, things I can never quite hear save my name and ‘yes’. Just as I think I’m gonna black out, he releases me and disengages. I suck in breath, my eyes fluttering shut as I can now fully dive into the afterglow and damn is it amazing. I feel Damien lay down beside me as his arms wrap around my waist and bring me close to him. _

_ I tug on my wrists, Damien’s belt buckle clanging against the wood as I glance back at him with a lazy grin, “That was fun. Can you untie me now?” _

_ I meant it in a joking manner, because of course he’s gonna untie me now, we’re done, but he remains still. His hands slide along my chest and lower, my thighs, before he chuckles lowly, “I quite like you like this for now. Maybe I’ll let you go later.” _

_ I frown and shift a little, glancing back at Damien with a slight frown, “Come on, my wrists hurt!” Damien’s eyebrows raise so I add in a gentler, less demanding tone, “… Please?” _

_ This seems to appease Damien a little, but he still isn’t happy. His frown is deep, creasing his brow as he holds tightly onto my waist, “Who do you belong to?” _

_ I bite my lip, frowning a little deeper as I mumble, “Now really isn’t the time t-“ _

_ “Who. Do. You. Belong. To.” Damien’s voice is sharp as a knife as his hand glides to my throat in one swift movement, but I’m still breathless after his last grip that I try to keep from flinching from the sudden movement. _

_ Slowly, closing my eyes, I reply, “You.” _

_ “And don’t you ever forget it.” Without another word, Damien’s presence leaves my side and everything is cold. So cold, unbearably cold… _

_ I’m completely submerged under freezing cold water, fighting for breath. I thrash, my arms completely numb from the chill as my clawing fingers clash painfully against glass. I kick forward until I’m fully against it, and beyond I see shapes, figures, people I know… Keith, Lance, Shiro, Hunk, Pidge. Just standing there, watching me drown. _

_ Bubbles erupt from my mouth as I try to scream for help, banging on the glass to get their attention, but it’s not that they don’t see me. They’re standing there resolutely, watching without moving, and as my lungs start to burn in agony, one by one they turn and walk away. Tears swell in my eyes, hot and horrible as I press my hand flat against the glass, black spots dancing before my vision. I don’t fight it any longer. I breathe in and let the icy water rip down my throat.  _

My eyes snap open as I’m rocked with a full body shiver. My breath is heavy, and when I glance down I notice that I’d kicked off all my blankets in my sleep, and they’re now in a big pile on the floor, but I’m shaking badly from cold. Slowly, I get up and open the bottom drawer of my dresser. Inside is underwear and socks, yet as I lift up a pair of the softest, warmest looking Altean socks I can find, I see that there are… slippers. Little white slippers with a cat’s face on the toes, just like Lance wore on the first day in the Castle.  _ Oh, nice, I got some too. At least there’s that.  _ I pull on black pajama pants with little white lions and stars across its surface and my flannel overtop of my white shirt and shuffle into the slippers. They’re soft, they’re warm, and they’re so unbelievably comfortable on the soles of my feet that it’s almost cruel to consider taking them off. I wrap myself up warmly and walk out of my room.

After particularly bad dreams, no matter how old I was, I would go to my parent’s room. When I was younger I would just squeeze into my parent’s bed, but as I got older my mom could almost sense when I was having a nightmare and would already be awake to comfort me. She even told me that she started naturally getting up at 5am simply out of habit, even if I had already had my night’s nightmare or if it came later, just before I would wake up for school. She sang to me for an embarrassingly long time, read me stories, or merely hugged me until I fell asleep again, but now I’m alone. One night, my parents were out late when I was 9, I had a horrible nightmare but they weren’t home. I had to find some way to calm myself down on my own, so I’d played the piano on the first floor of our house, plunking the notes of my mom’s song. But in moments like now when I don’t have any fucking instruments, or back home when my parents are asleep and they’re tired, I shouldn’t keep having to wake them up because I’m scared, I go to my last resort: walking. Just straight up walking until I can’t think, I can’t feel anything except my own breath and my own surroundings.

I walked around my neighborhood when I was a kid until my dad told me that that was too dangerous to keep doing, so I stopped. When we moved to Texas, I started again, sneaking out through the window. The noises of the night would calm me, I’m not even sure what specific noises they were. Mostly crickets, coyotes calling in the night, the rush of wind across the desert sand, but it was nothing like the forest sounds, nothing like the ocean.  _ God, the ocean. _

I thought Texas was awful for me, but the Castle is even worse. The halls are so eerily silent, all I can hear is the soft pad of my own feet and my pulse in my throat, the screaming thoughts in my head of hurt, buried, afterthought rage, exhaustion…

I just want to stop thinking, to stop  _ dreaming  _ about Damien. Now that the White Lion’s horrible test dreams have stopped, they’ve been replaced with all the memories, the good, the bad, the ugly, of my time with Damien. Frankly, this is worse. Selfishly so, I suppose.

The halls are dark, as I assume it still must be the dead of night. I wander the halls, internally banging my head against the walls of in mind I’m trapped against,  _ stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it, why am I still thinking about it, can’t I just let go, let it go, for fucks sake can’t I have a moment’s peace _ \-  I find myself approaching the bridge, I feel the hum of the power crystal that hangs above Allura’s central circle that seems to pulse through the floor. I follow it, and when I enter the room I find it cast in the soft blue light of the overhanging crystal, soft as moonlight that shrouds the room in a gentle darkness. I slowly walk forward to the front of the command center, my gaze immediately wandering to the darkness outside the glass and to the stars above, hanging in the skies of Arus. Below I know is the expanse of the ocean and idly I wonder if it has a beach. I don’t remember seeing a moon surrounding Arus, so there wouldn’t be any waves.  _ That would be more unsettling than anything else, wouldn’t it? _

“Dude, why are you awake?” I nearly jump out of my skin when a soft voice behind me pipes up out of nowhere. I turn over my shoulder and see Pidge, his glasses slight askew on his nose with his laptop on one arm and his little Galra robot friend, Rover hovering over his shoulder. He reprogrammed it from the Galra ship when he and Shiro freed the prisoners, what felt like a lifetime ago but really it was…. 4 days ago. Those prisoners have been recuperating for a rather long time, come to think of it, but Coran insists that they’re healing from substantial injuries from their time in Galra captivity, which is horrifying to even think about. I haven’t even met Rover until now, I only heard Pidge mentioning it in passing that he was programming it to follow him around like a parrot because he’s  _ always wanted a parrot _ . It was kind of endearing, honestly, and now seeing the little triangle with a friendly blue light shining through a crevice between two of its sides I get why he thought of it that way.

“Why are  _ you  _ awake?” I argue with a raised eyebrow, pulling my flannel tighter around my shoulders as Pidge leans on one foot with his head tilted to the side, much like a confused puppy.

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Pidge jokes with a slight smirk as his gaze scans my figure. Self conscious, I pull on the hem of my flannel before he finally speaks, “You doing okay?”

I take a moment, biting on my lip as I wonder whether or not it would be worth it to actually open up to Pidge. I’ll never mention Damien, that’s for sure. Hell, if Damien’s name is never mentioned again it’ll be too soon, but Pidge and I… haven’t exactly talked all that much. He’s very much aloof, doesn’t really like to talk much save to make the occasional joke or smart tech comment. But… he’s definitely secretive. I know now that he’s a Holt, he’s searching for his family that went missing with Shiro on the Kerberos mission, but beyond that I feel like I know nothing else. That’s all he seems to think about, that’s his only focus, I know he’s probably awake right now trying to technologically search. But… I would do the same in his position. I can’t even imagine it, wondering whether my parents were dead or alive…

_ I should be open with him, at least a little bit. Show him I trust him, so he feels like he can do the same with me. At least so we can get past a superficial level of friendship. _

“I had a bad dream.” I answer with a soft noise, crossing my arm as I turn my attention back to the glass.

Pidge is silent for a moment, and I have half a mind to turn to see whether or not he just up and left before he murmurs, “Back in the cave on Earth you said you had dreams about the lions all the time, have they kept happening?”

“Not anymore.” I murmur, glancing down at my chest for a moment,  _ geez, I’m not used to so many people knowing about my crazy dreams _ . “It was the White Lion, I think, testing me in my dreams to see if I was worthy. The first day since we got the lions, I didn’t have a dream for the first time in my whole life! It was awesome and I…” I realize my voice had risen in enthusiasm, so I quickly tone it down while biting my lip, “Then I got different dreams. Nightmares. I’ll be okay, it’s just… kinda shitty.”

“Oh buddy, I get it.” Pidge mumbles from behind me in a sympathetic manner. I hear movement behind me, and I turn to see Pidge sitting up on the holographic panel, which is Coran’s placement in the front of the bridge to my right ,with his laptop set beside him. I see a series of complicated symbols flying across the screen at such a speed I didn’t think it was possible as Pidge’s voice snaps me back to his gaze, “I don’t sleep well either.”

“Yeah?” I ask softly, turning a little from the glass as Pidge continues, his voice is surprisingly raw, “I don’t have nightmares or anything, but I do have insomnia. I can’t really get to sleep unless I’m absolutely dead tired.” Pidge mumbles, his shoulders slumping as he finally meets my gaze. His expression, his eyes, his voice… is surprisingly vulnerable. Something that I wasn’t expecting, but I gladly welcome. I give him my fullest attention as my silence encourages Pidge to keep talking, “I don’t know, it’s weird. Just like, no matter how tired I get, I always feel like I have something else I could be doing, that I  _ should  _ be doing. I can never really turn my brain off, especially since…”

“Your family.” I answer impulsively with the natural break in his sentence, my voice soft in the quiet space; Pidge wordlessly nods. His eyes are glued to his worn sneakers, his fingers worming into the large pockets of his brown cargo shorts and not for the first time I wonder at how his clothes are ridiculously big on him, he swims in them for the most part since he’s rather small, at least 5’4 and lanky to add onto it. Hunk could probably lift him under arm and walk about his day like Pidge’s no more than a satchel.

“I learned that the Garrison was covering up that they actually had no idea where they went after Kerberos and I just… It’s all I can think about.” Pidge growls under his breath, his golden-green glimmering like leaves illuminated by sunshine as his hands ball into fists.

I raise an eyebrow, moving now to sit next to him on the holographic panel, “How did you find out? They held a funeral and everything so I can’t imagine they’d have information like that just lying about.”

“I hacked their system.” Pidge answers in a matter of fact tone, and when I stare at him with wide, shocked eyes he merely shrugs, “It’s not that difficult when you know the right algorithms. They cracked down after I got in though, it would probably take more effort to do it a second time… but I got what I needed.”  _ He’s talking about hacking into a government military base like it’s nothing. _

“Which was?”

Pidge sighs tiredly, shifting so he has one foot perched beneath him and the other is hanging over the panel’s edge, “They didn’t know anything. The entire mission just… vanished. They had no idea what happened, so they covered it up.” He curls his nose and lets out a loud huff, “So, I looked… elsewhere. It sounded crazy then, thinking aliens were behind it, but the more I learned, the more I looked, the more probable it was, and then…”

“Shiro.” I finish with a soft voice. 

Pidge nods, speaking now with his hands instead of having them balled in his pockets, “He changed  _ everything _ . He was the key I thought, he had to know what happened… But he doesn’t remember anything!” Pidge’s voice is strangled and annoyed, and I see tears are beginning to well in the corners of his eyes as he spits, “As soon as I think I actually got somewhere, it’s just as much of a dead end as before. It’s so fucking frustrating!” 

I raise an eyebrow, “He doesn’t remember anything? Nothing at all?” 

Pidge shakes his head, letting out a rough sigh, “I know it’s not his fault but it’s just another barrier, another stupid thing that keeps me from finding Matt and my dad, and sometimes I just get so mad and it’s just…  _ Ugh! _ ”

His words, his fire, his passion spells out his anger clearly but I hear in his voice, in the pain in his eyes, and his rage that what he’s feeling comes from deep within, deeper even than just the Garrison covering up his family’s disappearances for the sake of their own asses, I think.

“It must feel lonely.” I murmur softly. Pidge blinks at this, snapping up and looking at me with wide eyes as I murmur, “Like you’re fighting against the world that’s set out to stop you.”

Pidge doesn’t speak for a moment, merely staring at me with wide eyes before he manages a strangled “Yeah.”

Slowly, I rest a hand on his bony shoulder, rubbing small, soothing circles with my thumb as I murmur, “You’re not alone. Not anymore. You’ve got Shiro, and even if he doesn’t remember anything, he’s still a bigger step closer to finding your family than without him. Plus, you know, he’s Shiro, he isn’t a bad person to have on your side. And you have Lance, Hunk, and, hell, you even got Keith, Allura, and Coran.”

Pidge breaks into a slight grin at this, looking down at his knees, “Keith huh? The broody, emo kid would help me find my family?”

I grin a little wickedly, “ _ That’s  _ the weird part of that statement? Not ‘Coran, huh?’ It’s ‘Keith, huh?’” Pidge throws his hands up in surrender, chuckling as I continue, “But yeah, I think Keith, too. And me.”

Pidge is silent for a long moment, his eyes on his shoelaces before he seems to come out of himself, his gaze snapping to mine with wide eyes as he clams, “Oh geez, I’m sorry dude I did not mean to just unload all that on you when you’re out here being sad too, and-“

I shake my head and cut him off with a wave of my hand, “Hey, it’s okay! I don’t mind at all.”

_ Pidge opened up to me, opened up wide and showed me what was going on inside his head, and now he’s starting to close up upon realizing how open he’s being. Fucking same, but I need to show him that it’s okay. I have to open up too, like ‘see, I’m open now, too! It’s not weird!” Alright, how can I do that? _

_ I’ll let my musical itch melt to the surface. It’s always around, but I’ll make it more obvious, I’ll see if I can’t get Pidge to notice; he’ll to ask me about it so I can share this part of myself so he feels like our ends of openness are equal.  _

I curl my fingers in my lap, scratching at the soft material of my pajama pants idly and allow my eyes to grow distant, staring off just past Pidge’s head at someplace far off, “It’s nice to have a distraction.”

Pidge glances down at the movement in my lap, raising an eyebrow at me before declaring, “I know that look. My brother has a look like that when he’s stressed.”

_ Oh geez, that was easy. _

I raise an eyebrow at Pidge, snickering a little and shaking my head, like I just got snapped out of my own thoughts, “I mean, I guess so.” I glance down at my hands, frowning a little before I let out a more genuine sigh, “But… I don’t know. When I was home, when I had a really bad nightmare, my parents would be there to help me, but if they weren’t… I had my music.”  _ This feels more natural. It doesn’t look like I was being too obvious about wanting him to ask me about that, now just let it flow. Let him in. _

Pidge raises an eyebrow in surprise, “Your music? What do you play?”

I nod slowly, “I like piano best, but honestly if it’s got strings, I could probably play it.” I joke under my breath, gazing down at my fingertips as I feel another sigh rising in my chest, “It’s… It helped me, a  _ lot.  _ Playing music got me through a lot of rough times, but here… I’ve got nothing. I just… suffer. In  _ silence _ . It’s agonizing.” I lament with a deep frown and frankly it feels pretty good. I was just thinking about how shitty it was to have no musical outlet and talking it out kind of… lessens it. I feel like it’s legitimate now that it’s out there. 

Pidge and I sit silently for a while and after a moment I flicker my gaze over to Pidge apologetically, “... That was also a lot of oversharing. Looks like we’re definitely even now.”

Pidge smiles back at me, and I notice the tension in his shoulders seems to relax as he talks, “Yeah, suppose we are, huh?” We both look away and sit in a moment of comfortable silence, and I close my eyes.  _ I may not have my music, but I have people.  _

_ Maybe I’ll be okay. _

“Thanks for sharing with me, Pidge.” I murmur after a moment, turning to glance over at Pidge as I slowly hop off of the holographic panel, “I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, it’s no problem.” Pidge shrugs nonchalantly in response, tilting his head to the side with a slight grin, “Off to bed?”

“Yeah.” I nod slightly in response, pulling my flannel around my shoulders a little tighter and gesturing to the dark hall with a jut of my chin, “As soon as you can, you should, too. You know Shiro’s gonna work our asses off tomorrow.”

“Of course he is.” Pidge replies with an eyeroll, pulling his laptop onto his lap. The greenish screen reflects thousands of streaming symbols across his round glasses as he meets my gaze from beneath, “He’s Shiro. He goes hard, or he… well, goes harder.”

I snicker a little at this and turn away from Pidge, heading out to the hall, “Night, Pidge.”

“Night.”

My footfalls are soft, and for once the quiet of the Castle halls are no longer suffocating. I wish there was some sort of whir, some consistent white noise that would drown out my thoughts but it’s not as bad, now that I’m feeling better. My eyes grow heavy the closer I walk back to my room, and before long I collapse on my bed and pass out once more.

\---

_ “Elizabeth!”  _

_ I turn towards the sound of my name, but no one’s there. My long, wild hair blows up into my face from a powerful breeze that’s so strong I teeter to the side and fall to the ground. Grass, long and ticklish pinpricks my palms, and I slowly sit up, turning my face into the breeze to keep my hair out of my face. I’m on a neverending plain. The grasses rise to my waist and the sky is overcast with stormy gray clouds that darken the golden grasses to a deep mustard, there’s nothing in sight for as far as the eye can see except grainy fields and thunderclouds. _

_ I hear it again, “Elizabeth!” It’s more urgent, the owner of the voice is growing worried. I rise to my feet as another breeze slides through the grasses but this time I’m ready for it, leaning into the rush of air and remaining on my feet, I can feel my hair flying crazy behind me like a crimson banner.  _

_ “Elizabeth!” The voice morphs. I don’t recognize it, but it’s smaller, high pitched, the voice of a child. I turn around in circles but I don’t see anyone until I feel something tugging on the hem of my shirt. I turn towards the tug and I blink down at the figure. It’s a shadow, the size of a toddler, with nothing distinctive but completely white eyes: no irises, no pupils, just whiteness, clouded like fog on the top of a mountain peak. The child looks up at me expectantly, like they’re waiting for something. I kneel down beside them, the top of the grasses reaching the tops of our heads as I hold out my hands, palms up, to the child, following some unspoken ritual that I didn’t know I knew until now. They rest their hands on mine, their hands are small and stubby, and when I look down I see that each hand only has two fingers and a thumb but their figure is still uncertain, shadowy and fading in and out like smoke. _

_ “Will,” The child says, their voice is different, softer and more intimate. My gaze rises to meet the child’s white eyes, and even among the swirling shadows on their face I can see that they’re smiling. “Take care of her for me, please.” _

_ “Who?” I ask softly, but before I can ask anything further the child pulls her hands from mine, instead reaching forward and resting a hand over my heart, just beneath my collarbone. I blink and look downwards and I see a white pulse from beneath the shadowy tendrils of the child’s hand. As they pull away I see a smooth white stone, embedding itself into the cloth of my shirt and then melting deeper, sinking into my skin with a burning hiss. I gasp as the heat turns into a sting and the sting into raw pain and look at the child with wide eyes, but they don’t appear at all alarmed, they almost seem pleased as they watch the stone sinking into my skin and biting into my flesh.  _

_ “And you take care of him, too.”  _

I open my eyes and sit up immediately as the thin tendrils of the dream begin to escape, and snatch my notebook from the bookshelf, frantically writing down the details as I can still grasp them,  _ a child without a face on a plain, the sky’s stormy, the wind is strong, a white stone sinking into my chest like a stone dropped in a pond, the clouds are in the child’s eyes, three fingers.  _ I stare at the words, frowning as I struggle at the memory but it’s already getting fuzzier. It feels like it’s important, like it’s  _ supposed  _ to be important, but I can’t remember why. It’s just a feeling. 

I sigh and shake my head, reaching over and tapping the holographic panel next to my bed, 7am. I flicker my gaze to my discarded armor in the corner of my room and an idle part of me wonders if Keith’s already training again on the deck.  _ Maybe today… Maybe I can get the courage to join him.  _

As soon as the thought blossoms it hardens with my resolve. I stand up and pull on some fresh clothes, grabbing my flannel and yanking my arms through the sleeves, _I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna join Keith in the training room._ _I can do this, I can do this, I can-_

He's battling the Gladiator when I walk in with my bayard at hand. He dodges and parries the Gladiator's staff with his sword without breaking a sweat, he’s certainly gotten better at this. He doesn't wear his armor when he practices, just a black t-shirt, black jeans, and that belt he always wears with the knife in the back. It's a look.  _ How is it that all of his clothes aren’t all red like mine? Or has he just been wearing the same clothes everyday since we got here? That’d be kind of gross, even for the sake of an aesthetic. _

I don't verbally interrupt as Keith's deep in the simulation, lifting his sword to parry the Gladiator's staff before swiping it to the side with a vicious counter. I pull my flannel off my shoulders and toss it aside, extending my bayard out as Keith dodges the Gladiator’s swing with a low duck and rolls to the side. The Gladiator’s back is facing me, and I see an opportunity to make a dramatic entrance. Slowly, I step softly, sneaking up behind the Gladiator as Keith keeps its entire attention, parrying the Gladiator’s rain of blows. Once I’m close enough, I jab my lance forward and ram the blade into the Gladiator’s back with the element of surprise, followed by a loud, metallic grinding noise. The robot deactivates with a soft whir, collapsing to the ground as I yank the end of my lance out of its body. Keith stares at the Gladiator with a shocked expression before his dark eyes, violet-indigo in the bright overhead lights, flicker to me, and I offer him a bright grin, “Morning!”

"End simulator." Keith calls to the overhead machine, causing the Gladiator to drop through a hole in the floor for repairs.  _ We’ve destroyed a whole fuckton of these dudes. I sure hope the reparation system’s working alright. _

"Sorry, no need to stop on my account." I rub the back of my neck sheepishly, a sudden shyness seizing my throat as I struggle to meet Keith’s gaze, "Just wanted to know if I could join you?" 

"I needed a break anyway." Keith shrugs as he walks away from me, bending to grab a red water bottle on the floor nearby and squirting some into his mouth. 

I lean a little on my bayard with a raised eyebrow, regarding him with a curious gaze but specifically it keeps falling on that knife where it sits sheathed on the back part of his belt. The more I look at it, the more ornate and...  _ unique  _ it seems. It has a pure black blade, like it was forged from obsidian, with a once white cloth now yellowed in age wrapped around the base just above the hilt. It’s no longer than my forearm, and yet its hilt is decorated with sharp, simple, purposeful edges. I wonder if it’s one of those knives from a storyline video game, those are all the rage, but Keith doesn’t strike me as someone who would enjoy them. "Hey," I murmur after a moment, and Keith looks up at me as he takes slow drags of water, "Where'd you get that knife? I've never seen anything like it." 

Keith's gaze shifts away from me, his expression unreadable as he sets his water bottle back down on the floor, "Dunno. I've always had it." As if that's any sort of answer he returns to the middle, looking up at the ceiling and calling out, "Begin Training Level 3." 

_ He isn't very talkative, is he? Oh well, I'm fine with silence. We can bond through hitting things.  _

Leaping down from the ceiling another perfect Gladiator lands, its staff scraping the ground with the force as it raises its robotic head to face us. I ready my bayard in preparation, and charge.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a lazy Dreamworks thing originally that I just skipped character development to get to plot. But, I fixed it! Or tried to, at least. I also tried to illustrate some more background on Will, especially his relationship with Damien because that's kind of an important part of his life that effects him pretty much daily, consider this the in depth look at erybody before shit starts hitting the fan.  
> Also, in this house, we love and appreciate Hunk and everything he do. Goddamnit, I love him.  
> \-- update, I just looked back at this after finishing Chapter 23 and realized I was editing it and totally forgot about it, so it's finished now! This be it. Sorry for having a huge hole in the very beginning for like, a month.  
> -edited for consistancy 1/11/19-


	8. The Galra Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will is utterly relieved. The team can now finally form Voltron, and as a bonus he no longer wants to punch Lance in the face anymore. As the days on Arus drag on, they're able to work together more and more easily. They still have some kinks to work out, for certain, but they're learning, slowly but surely. Pidge is insistent on speaking to the prisoners, as they have to know something about his family, and Will is unsure why he thinks they would know. He wants to check in with him, not only to establish a good bond with his teammate, but also because Pidge is still an enigma to him. He keeps the others, and Will, at arms length, and Will wants to know why, and what he can do to change that.

"Great work today, everybody!" Shiro congratulates us as we walk into the dining room, taking off his helmet and resting it under his arm, "I think we're really getting the hang of forming Voltron!" 

I take off my helmet as well and I smile fondly as I notice a spot of goo, crusted against the wall, hidden behind a conch light. 

"Seriously, how far do you think my lion kicked that broken alien ship?" Lance asks, holding his helmet under his arm as he raises an eyebrow with a cocky grin over at Keith, stopping once we enter the room, "It must've been like a mile!" I roll my eyes and sit down at the table, kicking my feet up on the chair opposite of me.

Keith responds in an unamused tone, "Yeah, that'll come in handy when the Galra challenges Voltron to a soccer match." I almost snort as I watch his inexpressive gaze,  _ did he just tell a joke? Fucking hell.  _

Lance crosses his arms, smirking at Keith, "Hey, I did something cool, and you can't handle it, I get it!"

Keith answers in a matter of fact tone, turning away as he walks toward the table, "Your kick made us lose our balance. We fell." 

Lance bristles, narrowing his eyes at Keith, as he follows after him. "That falling part was Hunk's fault!"

Hunk looks up from where he sits in front of me, pouting, "Hey!"

Shiro pulls back the seat at the front of the table as he sighs tiredly, "Alright, save your energy for fighting Zarkon." The door from the control room opens, and Coran enters with a brightened expression, holding what looked like those silver platters restaurants cover their food with to keep them hot. "Hello there, Paladins! How as the Voltron workout?"

Shiro opens his eyes from where he lounges in the seat, offering a slight smile before he immediately sits up with a more professional and brisk tone, "We're getting there. Are you and Allura almost done fixing the Castle so we can leave the planet?" Coran walks over and set the platter on the table as Shiro continues with a worried gaze, "I feel like we're sitting ducks here on Arus."

Coran beams, "Just about! And in the meantime, to get your mind off of those duck seats you're worried about, I made you guys an authentic, ancient paladin lunch!" Hunk gasps in excitement, looking at the platter with an overly-enthused gaze as Coran lifts the cover with a dramatic flair, to reveal  _ oh dear God. _

It's like a bruised avocado had angrily face-fucked a giant fly with terminal cancer, it's absolutely grotesque, and smells about as good as it looks. My stomach curls as it bubbles and makes a squelching noise  _ oh God why is it moving- _ I have to tear my gaze away before I vomit.

Hunk looks up at Coran, and I am surprised that he doesn't throw up considering how close he is to the food and how delicate his stomach can be, "Coran, you just got me hooked on the goo, and now you're switching it up?" 

Coran raises an eyebrow at Hunk, arguing, "It's packed with nutrients!"

"So does shit." I murmur under my breath, and I have to physically turn my body away to get the smell out of my nostrils as Shiro scoots back in his seat uncomfortably.

Hunk leans over the horrid so-called food and sniffs it, " _ Ugh _ , it smells disgusting!"

Coran does the same, opening his eyes with a shrug, "I know! That's how you know it's healthy!" 

Keith and Lance from their stance behind Hunk both cover their faces with their arms, and slowly start backing away to sit on the far end of the table, as far away from the 'healthy' food as possible.  _ There can't possibly anything healthy about that.  _

Hunk stands with a determined look, producing a flower with a hand and showing it to him, "Coran, we're on a planet now with fresh herbs, spices, and whatever this thing is.. a tuber? With the variety of stuff you’ve guys got, I think I'm going to head back to the kitchen and spice things up!"

As Hunk leaves the room, Shiro raises an eyebrow at Coran, "Where's Pidge?"

I look over at him and see he has a mouthful of the horrifying ‘food’. I quickly stand up and face the other direction, "God, that's just  _ gross. _ " 

Luckily, Coran doesn't hear me, "He's probably checking on those prisoners we rescued from Zarkon, they'll all be waking up soon from their final rotation of cryo-sleep in the medbay."

Shiro stands from his seat, clearing his throat to excuse himself, but before he can escape Coran hold out a piece of..  _ oh God, Will, look away. _

"Food lion, coming in!" Coran presses, imitating airplane noises as I quickly turn and leave the room as fast as I can manage, heading to the infirmary to check on Pidge. 

_ I haven't had a chance to meet the prisoners yet, I’m eager to see what they have to say about their time imprisoned. It should give a better image of what the Galra are really like, as that two second ultimatum that Galra commander had given on our first day, what was his name, Secknak? He obviously didn't leave all that much of an impression, since I can’t even remember his name.  _

I've wanted to ask Shiro about his time imprisoned, to get a better idea of our enemies, but I remember what his face looked like on that first day when he had to explain himself to me, about how he had somehow escaped to get to Earth and get Voltron before them. His gaze with so tense, forlorn, and when I asked him about it again at the Castle I remember how his throat constricted, his jaw tightened, and his gaze clouded. I believe him when Pidge told me that he says he doesn’t remember, but I also believe that he knows, or at least feels, a little more than the absolute nothing that he lets on.

I  _ read this article about soldiers with PTSD, talking about the symptoms and the effects. For all intents and purposes Shiro’s time as a prisoner scarred him to the point that he seems to… exhibit those symptoms. I remember seeing him freeze up when the Gladiator attacked us on the first day, he didn’t want to fight with us until we practically made him yesterday, and I realize now it’s probably because he didn’t want to use the prosthetic. It’s powerful, we saw that first hand, which is probably what Pidge has witnessed while they were on the Galra vessel to free these prisoners I’m about to see, prompting him to fight Keith over it yesterday. But maybe it isn’t so much the prosthetic itself that he’s bother by, but rather what it represents; the Galra literally took his arm, what else could they have taken from him? I don’t think he knows, and I think that scares him. Hell, that scares me, too. I want to give him a hug.  _

_ If I had my phone, I could Google how to help someone with PTSD. Fuck. I knew I shouldn't have left it to charge at home.. Is there even Wifi in space? Does the Internet exist for other planets? Is there an intergalactic space Internet that all the other planets and stuff use?  _

_ That's something to think about. _

When I enter the infirmary all of the pods are in use by the alien prisoners, their shadows reflected in the pods but obscuring their features. Pidge is sitting on the stairs next to one of the pods, his foot tapping insistently on the ground and Rover hovering over his shoulder. He’s been following Pidge around faithfully, and frankly he's the cutest little robot ever, his little lights and flashes are so expressive that I’m surprised I don’t see him around more often. Pidge looks up at me in surprise when I enter the room, sitting up a little where he sits on the stairs, "Will? What're you doing here?"

"Just checking in with a friend." I reply amicably, but before Pidge gets all warm and fuzzy I coo at Rover and tap its head, “Hey Rover, what’s going on?” Rover makes a buzzing noise and lights up along its sides with a short bounce to which Pidge smacks my knee with a short scoff. 

I grin over at him and sit down beside him, wrapping an arm around my knee as I regard him seriously, “How you doing?”

"These aliens we saved know something about my family. They have to." Pidge answers curtly, watching the pods for any signs of movement with a deadpan, serious expression. 

Suddenly, the doors to the infirm slide open and Shiro enters with his helmet under one arm. 

I can't help but smirk, "Were you able to escape Coran unscathed?"

Shiro laughs, cracking a genuine smile, "Just barely."

Pidge furrows his eyebrows at Shiro, his tone serious, "Shiro, these aliens recognized you, didn't they? They called you 'Champion.'” I blink in surprise as Pidge fixes Shiro with a scrutinous gaze, “What does that even mean?" 

_ Champion? That's kind of a badass nickname. _

Shiro's smile immediately fades, and his expression becomes one of mixed confusion and frustration, "I don't know. I can't remember much from that time.” He locks his gaze on one of the pods with a softer tone, “But the way that those guys looked at me when we freed them… I don't know if I want to find out."

Before I can begin to question them, with a sudden burst of air, each of the pods begin to pop open, causing Pidge and I to shoot to our feet and as I turn towards the pods they reveal the Galra’s alien prisoners.

I wasn't sure what to expect from real life aliens, especially after meeting Allura and Coran, but this goes along with what those guidelines would be. They have strange features, eye stalks and multiple arms and a wide variety of hues to their skin, but each alien is wildly, completely different from each other. One has four arms and a whisker-like stalk in the middle of their head, another has dark blue skin and a face that reminds me of a turtle's, and so on.  _ I wonder where they are from, how they got to be prisoners? What must their culture be like, their languages, their planets...  _

Shiro immediately goes over to the wall and presses open a built in container. It's filled with blankets, and those cool Altean cups that fill themselves with what I think looks like hot tea, usually, I found one in the drawer of my room when I was snooping at the different stuff in the walls.  _ That's pretty clever to have here. Good thinking, Shiro. _

I pick up several blankets and approach the aliens as they step out of their healing pods. One alien nearly takes a tumble down the few stairs, and I quickly reach out to steady them. This one has one large, red eye in the center of their body with bright yellow skin and spikes encircling their face and what I think to be hands, with three fingers, made from the same material as hooves. I drape the blanket around their shoulders, speaking in a soothing tone, "It's alright, you're safe now. I'm Will, I'm one of the Paladins of Voltron." The alien is tense, but as soon as I say ‘Voltron’ they suddenly relax like a flip of switch, gratefully pulling the blanket closer around their shoulders. I settle them down on the stairs before I turn and help Shiro distribute the Altean cups, now full of the maybe tea, to the other aliens.

Pidge swoops in and grabs one, handing the cup to an alien with light green skin, a thick eye-stalk in the middle of their forehead, and four arms. He crosses his arms as he stand before the alien, who already has a blanket drapes over their shoulders, and begins asking questions, “How long were you held prisoner?”

The alien croaks, as if it's a long time since they last spoke, and I am shock that they begin speaking English, "Some for years. Decades, maybe." The alien stares down with all three eyes at its cup, and I can't help but notice how...  _ tired  _ they look.  _ Or maybe that’s just their face. _ "It's hard to tell. Time becomes a blur."

They take a sip of Altean tea as Pidge's eyes widens, "Then you must have been there when my dad and brother arrived. Sam and Matt Holt?"

"I never knew their names." The alien turns its head towards Shiro, who's handing out another cup of tea to the last of the aliens, "But I certainly remember the other two Earthlings that arrived with Champion."

Shiro looks up from beside me, his expression growing increasingly troubled, " _ 'Champion’ _ ... why do you keep calling me that?"

The alien's pupils dilate, "You really don't remember? Unbelievable." They let out a breath, like they’re completely astonished, but when Shiro merely stares back at them evenly their voice rasps to explain, "You were a legendary gladiator, undefeated in the ring! You defeated an infamous Galra gladiator known as Myzax. That was the day that you earned the name  _ 'Champion.' _ "

Shiro frowns, and some instinct inside me tells me to go to him. I move and stand beside him as the alien continues with a deep croak, "I was there, as was the youngest Earthling.. We were the unfortunate number of prisoners forced to fight for the entertainment of Zarkon." The alien's eyes glisten, in another galaxy and another time, "That day we were set to fight Myzax, a vile beast that many thought could never be defeated." The alien pauses, meeting my gaze as he whispers, "Slaughter awaited us all." 

A shiver ripples through my spine as they turn to Pidge as they speak again, "Perhaps it was this 'Matt' was the first of us sent to fight, but fate had other plans." The alien then turns to Shiro and their voice quakes like they’re sitting on a roaring engine, "You were so thirsty for blood… you injured your fellow Earthling." 

_ They’re afraid. _

Shiro blinks in shock, his mouth slightly open. I can see the disbelief and the shock settling over him like a damp blanket and in an attempt to ground him I gently lay a hand on his shoulder. This seems to work, up until Pidge whirls on Shiro with the ferocity of a rabid bear, "You  _ attacked  _ my brother? Why?!"

Shiro's eyes are wide, stunned, as he stammers, "No, it can't be true!"

The alien seems unable to meet Shiro's gaze, "I was there. We all were."

I furrow my eyebrows, tightening my grip on Shiro's shoulder until his gaze focuses on me, "What do  _ you _  remember?" 

Shiro looks at me in such a way that I'm reminded of a wounded animal, his eyes rather far away and his shoulders are tense, but the longer I rest my hand on his shoulder the more this tension seems to stall. 

Pidge furrows his eyebrows and focuses his gaze back on the alien, his arms crossed over his chest with a radiating rage in his shoulders, "After my brother was _ injured _ , where was he taken?"

The alien shakes their head, their hand shaking as they take a sip from their tea before they answer, "I know not."

Shiro seems to snap out of his thoughts then, straightening, "I don't believe it. There's got to be more to the story, I... I couldn't have hurt my friend!" Shiro's eyebrows furrow, his voice firm and pointed at the alien, but they don't move, merely sipping their tea.

Suddenly Shiro blinks, "Wait." He pauses before he suddenly turns towards the door on a dime, my hand falls back to my side as he marches with renewed purpose, "The ship that we were being held captive on crash-landed onto this planet. They'll have logs of prisoners, some information!"

Pidge realizes immediately what Shiro’s implying, quickly sprinting after him, "I'm coming with you!" 

I blink after them and when I glance back at the company in the room I balk when I see they’re all staring at me with a variety of strange gazes. So as I turn to the aliens, the pair rushing out the door, I bite my lip and speak in the most courteous tone possible, "Thank you so much for helping us. Your information today will help us to save more prisoners."

The aliens watch me with warm gazes, or at least they seem warm but I have no fucking clue, and the one who did all the talking rasps in response, "Perhaps Voltron will be able to give some hope to the universe." 

_ How does this alien know English? I'll have to ask them later, but right now I need to follow Pidge and Shiro, there’s no way I’m letting them go alone.  _

I nod firmly, "We will. Thank you." I bow a little to dismiss myself, having no idea what the fuck’s the etiquette for this sort of thing, before I turn to race after Pidge and Shiro.

I run down the hall to where Pidge and Shiro hastily marching away, catching Shiro’s voice as I approach, "Get to your lions, let’s go see if we can't get the intel we need from the wreckage." Shiro states in a commanding tone, his gaze sharp with renewed focus.

"On it!" Pidge nod firmly, and I quickly move to follow them to the elevators to our lions. I’ve never seen Pidge so brisk, while we’re training he does his job but then he slips away. I’ve only ever seen him let loose like, once or twice with a well placed joke but beyond that he doesn’t really seem… interested in what we do, which blows me away considering we’re literally the  _ pilots  _ for the most powerful weapons in the entire  _ universe _ . I thought that was just how he was, aloof but available when needed, but now seeing him practically sprinting to his lion out of sheer will for info I wonder if he really  _ doesn’t _ care about being a Paladin. I can’t even begin to grasp that concept, there’s no way that’s true… _ right? _

Once I enter the White Lion, I rise to the pilot's chamber and sink into the seat, pulling my helmet on that I had been keeping under my arm. I was literally here no more than half an hour ago with the others to practice forming Voltron, but a familiar purr welcomes me as the controls activate all the same. "Hey there, Silver, long time no see." I tease, rolling my shoulders while opening the hanger door remotely. I press the controls forward as the doors spring open, guiding Silver out into Arus’ open air.

Outside, the Black and Green Lions emerge merely seconds after me, I call to them through the communicators in our helmets, "So, what part of the ship are we looking for?"

"See if we can't find the part of the ship where their main computer system would be, like the command center, and hope that it's not entirely broken." Pidge's voice cracks in response. I guide the White Lion over a cresting hill to gaze at the rocky cliffs below and idly I recall the pieces of the ship we’d used as target practice.  _ I hope that those aren’t what we’re looking for because any computer within would not have survived. _

The planet's landscape reminds me a lot of Texas; craggy cliffs, sandy stretches of desert only to be broken up by cracking red stone, to the point that it's strange to think that this  _ isn't _  Earth. The White Lion soars over the air, the gentle hum of the thrusters giving me a sense of quiet and peace as I examine the ground for any signs of the Galra wreckage.  _ I never thought I would ever be a pilot, but now that I am, sort of at least, it's... pretty cool. Not nearly as scary as I initially thought it would be, but piloting is different than free falling, which seems a whole lot worse. Geez, my parents would be shaking excitement right now if they could sense me thinking this. _

"I think I found it, on me!" Shiro declares, and I taps a holographic panel next to me to see the lions' location. I notice that the other lions, the Blue, Red, and Yellow Lions are not in the castle, but a few miles east of us.  _ Wonder what they're up to. _

I spot the Black Lion, north of where I am, and quickly pushes the White Lion to his location, pushing the others from my mind for the moment.

This piece of the wreckage of the ship is enormous and expansive, I’m surprised I never noticed it before. Black and purple pieces of the ship litter the dusted landscape, and I notice that one particularly large portion lay against a craggy sort of mountainside, surrounded by what may have once been a lake but now appears to be oil. 

"I think that's the control center. Let's land and investigate." Pidge reports, the Green Lion peeling ahead of me and touching down on the ground with a rough scrape of its claws. I follow the lions down to the earth below.

I rise from my seat, the controls shutting off behind me as I run down the stairs; I feel the White Lion kneel to allow me to exit, which causes me to wobble a little as I try not to fall, and meet up with Shiro and Pidge on the ground. The White Lion stands back up once I left, and all of our lions erect their barriers as we turn to investigate the wreckage.

Twisted metal, like a horrific modern sculpture, spiral into the sky as testament of the wreckage Voltron wrought. There are massive rips in the metal shell, claw shaped tears that are so broad and wide that entire buses could drive through them without a scratch. I never really saw the wreckage from this perspective, on the ground alone, but as I look at the large chunk of the spaceship that  _ we  _ destroyed horror strangles me; this chunk is about as big as a moderately sized skyscraper, and  _ we  _ ripped its hull like this. 

_ How many lives were lost in the crash? _

That's something that I never considered, probably never would have if I was not confronted with the crashed spacecraft. Shiro and Pidge engage the jet-packs built into our suits and rise up to a broken piece of the hull and drop inside so I quickly follow, but as soon as my hand touches the ravaged metal I freeze up. 

_ How many Galra were on this ship? Did they all die? Did we kill them? Did  _ **_I_ ** _ kill them? Did they have families? Do they know they're gone? Will they ever know, do the Galra have a roster, a list of names they give to officers that have to go and tell each husband, wife, mother, father, loved one, sibling, child, ‘I’m sorry for your loss, but they were killed by Voltron’.  _

_ Killed by Voltron. We  _ **_killed_ ** _ people here.  _

_ And I’m only realizing this now. _

Shiro and Pidge drop down inside, and after a moment I hear Shiro call up to me, "Will, you coming?" 

I whisper under my breath, I don’t think he would’ve heard me if we didn’t have coms, "Shiro... how many Galra do you think were on this ship?" 

Shiro looks up at me from down below, and I realize that my voice must have been shaking as he immediately engages his jet-pack, jumping up and landing on the metal I stand upon so that he's face to face with me, "Why are you asking?" 

I take a short breath swallowing on the knot in my throat, "What if there were Galra on the ship that didn't want to be here? What if they had families to return to, and we just... killed them. Just because they were on the ship!” Emotion strangles my throat and I have to fight to suppress a sob, gritting my teeth as I lock eyes with Shiro as I murmur, “What have we jumped into, Shiro? Why did we do this?" I point to the wreckage accusingly, my voice is shaking but right now it’s taking all my ability not to cry out of sheer horror of what we’ve done. 

Shiro touches my shoulder gently, stilling my rapid breath for a moment as he murmurs, "I'm sorry, Will." He slowly wraps an arm around my shoulders in a comforting manner, and I hang my head as he speaks in a soft tone, "From what I can remember, I never actually interacted with any Galra. Most of the ship is run by sentries and drones." I feel the terrible weight in my chest lift at this news, letting out a soft breath as my shoulders relax, but Shiro continues, "But the command center probably... had some. And the technicians for the drones and sentries so maybe… no more than twenty." 

_ Twenty. We killed twenty people days ago and I’m only realizing it now. I’ve been a murderer this whole time that I’ve been worrying about the green goo’s taste and using my fucking bayard- _

I close my eyes, swallowing as I grit my jaw, "That's still twenty lives we didn't have to take. They were just following that guy, their commander’s orders." 

Shiro grips my shoulder, and I look at him through blurred vision as he regards me seriously, "I know… But the Galra on this ship willingly made the decision to follow Commander Sendak into battle that day. Trust me when I tell you that if Zarkon has been able to conquer the universe, then it's because the Galra let him." 

I frown, not feeling very consoled as Shiro sighs, his gaze softening as he grips my shoulder a little tighter, like he’s grounding me in the moment, "It's never easy, to make life and death decisions, and I’m sorry that you have to be in a position to do it… But it speaks well of you to care about the lives that were lost.” I raise my gaze to Shiro’s with a swallow on the lump of guilt that’s lodged in my throat as he murmurs, “The only way to keep things like this from happening is by stopping Zarkon, so the faster we do that, the faster the deaths can cease." 

I sniff and feel warm tears escape my eyes and trickle down my cheeks. I grit my teeth and open my visor to wipe my eyes furiously, and as I meet Shiro’s gaze again a burn of shame blooms in my cheeks as I stammer to explain myself, "I know, I just... It didn't occur to me, you know? I didn’t think about it, until I saw what we did, this  _ wreckage _ ... and it's because of us.  _ We _ caused this destruction.” I feel my bottom lip wobbling as I stare at a massive rip in the side of the ship, spitting the words around the lump in my throat, “Voltron is a  _ weapon _ . We’re just a bunch of kids commanding a weapon that’s capable of  _ this  _ and I just... Just because they're supposed to be the bad guys, that doesn't give us license to kill them because of what banner they fall under, because not every Galra is Zarkon." I meet Shiro's gaze after a moment, taking a shaky breath when I suddenly remember why we're here.  _ We’re here to get information on Pidge’s family. Shiro should not be here helping me through an existential crisis when we’re supposed to be helping Pidge.  _ I quickly shake my head and clear my throat, and once I trust my voice to level I murmur, "Sorry. We should get inside to meet up with Pidge." 

Shiro hesitates after a moment but eventually he nods, squeezing my shoulder one last time before he drops down to the ground. I take several moments to simply breathe and recover myself. 

_ I didn't think I would be so upset over strangers, strangers who were more than happy to kill us no less but... Their lives are in our hands. We killed twenty or so Galra in a war that we personally have no stake in. It's justifiable, I know what they’ve done and that they must’ve taken even more lives than I can even count to take control of the amount of planets that they have, but it still doesn't take away the fact that  _ **_we_ ** _ killed them, a bunch of kids who never even heard of the Galra until that day.  _

I let out a shaky breath, gritting my teeth.  _ I have to accept it. This is just the first of many if we're really going to try and dismantle a thousand year old empire. I just hope that I don't grow... used to it, the quick and easy violence and death we can dole out like cookies.  _

_ What a horrifying thought. _

I jump down after Shiro.

It's dark within the ship, the only source of light from the broken crevices in the ship's hull, it's hard to tell what's up from down. My feet splashes in oily water when I land and Pidge's voice echoes just ahead of me, behind a fallen beam, "This looks like the master control board, but there's no power!" I engage my pack over the beam, and spot Shiro and Pidge standing in front of a large black panel. Before them stands a massive screen, cracked with a piece missing with a purple pedestal, like an alter before it. There are several strange symbols carved onto its surface, like that of a keyboard. I wade through oily water and leap over ripped metal to get to their position.

Shiro steps forward with a pensive frown, "All you need is power?"

Pidge nods as he stares with frustration at the panel, "Yes, but power that's compatible to Galra tech." 

Shiro's gaze is far away as he looks down at his prosthetic hand. With a soft hum it begins to glow a neon violet and after a brief pause he lowers his hand to rest on the altar. As soon as his prosthetic touches the smooth metal it bursts alive with bright red light, the alter's symbols begin to glow and a red holographic screen crackles before projecting itself before us; the system is back online.

"Whoa." Pidge murmurs, his eyes wide as he examines the fizzing screen at lightning speed, "I can't believe you got this to work!" Pidge taps the screen, and another, smaller, purple holographic screen appears beneath it and Pidge types at the keys beneath it with surprising speed, his tongue sticking out in concentration, "My dad and Matt's whereabouts must be logged in here somewhere." He lifts his left arm after finishing a command on the purple screen and tapping his wrist, his own holographic screen from his suit appearing. He types a series of commands into his suit, and after a moment a massive bar pops up in the middle, "Once I download the information, I'll find someway to decode it back at the Castle."

I look at Shiro with a raised eyebrow, "How did you do that?"

Shiro meets my gaze from out of the corner of his eye, his eyebrows furrowed, "I'm not sure. All I know is that this thing is Galra made, and it's got some properties that I'm still not even aware of… So call it a lucky guess." 

I raise an eyebrow in surprise, but when I lean down to inspect his hand closer I hear the softest of rumbles over my shoulder, something that normally I wouldn’t take a second’s notice at except something immediately seizes up inside at the sound. I freeze and whirl around at the structure, and something grips in my gut, like a hand reaching inside me and worming around where it shouldn’t. My breath is coming rapid, and I just barely am able to spit out the words, "Something's wrong… Something's coming."

"What?" Shiro asks, turning around to follow my gaze, but there’s nothing. Nothing is amiss, but the feeling persists, if nothing else it gets worse. As Pidge downloads the info, and the rumbling only gets louder, like a blowtorch being fired from across the room but slowly advancing closer to us. I peer through the massive holes in the ship when I spot it, high above in the sky, entering the atmosphere is a flashing red...  _ meteor? _ No, it's mechanical, I can see it has intentional layouts in its shape. 

_ It's headed right for us. _

" _ Oh no. _ " Shiro whispers.

"What is it?" Pidge asks, his gaze not leaving his screen as Shiro answers with a frenzied tone, "Something just entered the atmosphere." He turns to examine Pidge's screen, "I'm not sure what it is, but it's big, it's Galra, and it's heading straight for us,  _ and we have to go. _ " 

Shiro shifts to leave, but before he can move far Pidge lashes out and grabs his prosthetic wrist and yanks him back, pressing his prosthetic hand firmly against the Galra board,  _ "Shiro, don't move!" _ I shrink a little at how...  _ intense  _ his expression is as he barks in a matter of fact tone, "I'm only 15% done. I'm not going anywhere."

I look back at the falling projectile and wonder just  _ how  _ Shiro could tell it's Galra from here... But I can't taking any chances, Galra or no it's going to crush us nonetheless unless we get out of here. I whirl around with a hand on Pidge's shoulder, "Pidge, we'll be able to find this information on another ship, and it won't do us good if we're dead." He shakes me off, rather violently as he hisses between his teeth, "No! Not until it's finished. We're already right here! It might not  _ be  _ on another ship!"

I look up at the atmosphere and now I’m able to see the purple markings along the metal sides, there’s no mistaking it now. My heart races as I summon my bayard.  _ Maybe my shield could protect us, if not me at least them... I don’t really now how effective this is gonna be against a literal falling asteroid, it looks as big as a building, if not even bigger, fuck, who am I kidding, my shield can’t do shit against this- _

Shiro snaps, his arms suddenly latching around Pidge's waist, "Pidge, I'm sorry!" He engages his pack and he takes off the ground as Pidge shrieks,  **_"No!"_ **

Shiro grabs the back of my suit to get me to follow and I twist about as fast as I can manage, the trio of us hurtling out of the vessel as fast as our packs allow; Pidge yells obscenities the whole way, but the roar of the falling projectile is so loud now that I can't hear him. I look up in the sky as it descends, it's about as big as the Empire State building, and as big around as the academy.  _ We're barely going to escape from beneath it, definitely not the blast zone. _

"Team, come in, we need backup!" Shiro cries over the com, and I feel the heat of the incoming Galra machine.  _ It doesn't look like a ship, it looks... kind of like an egg, actually. Or a coffin. Yeah, more like a coffin, it has boxy edges. What a cheery thought. _

"Shiro?" Allura's voice echoes in my helmet, to which Shiro quickly replies, "Where is everyone?!"

Shiro points to a hunk of the fallen spaceship ahead of us and we both descend just behind it. Pidge worms out of Shiro's grasp immediately, practically falling over as he snarls, "No! Shiro, let me  _ go _ ,  _ my father…! _ " A blazing hiss warns us just a few seconds before the projectile falls, and we turn and see it with all of its massive glory descending, seconds away from crashing into the wrecked ship where we just were.  _ This hunk of metal isn’t going to save us. Shit, it’ll probably crush us when it lands! _

Shiro seems to think the same as he shouts, "Run!" He tugs Pidge away from the blast, who now has the sense to run with us as we sprint, perhaps in vain, away from the blast.  _ How can we outrun a meteor? _

It shakes the earth, the ground waving like a ripple in a pond, and we're barely able to keep our footing. I hear the blowtorch-like sound blasting closer, and the ground crumbling behind us,  _ we aren't gonna make it. _

Suddenly, I run face first into white metal. I stumble back and I seal my eyes shut as I feel Shiro wrap his arms around Pidge and I, pulling us to the ground. I crouch with an arm around Shiro and Pidge, yet the ground doesn't give out, I hear what sounds like a blast wave going around us yet... not on us. I open my eyes slowly when everything goes quiet, my heart racing as sand and dust cling to my eyelashes. I rest a hand on the white metal that I initially ran into, slowly wiping a hand over my eyes to peer up the wall of white… 

Our lions lift their snouts from where they'd enclosed around us in a protective triangle, peering at us with yellow eyes. I feel my lion's purring from within my chest as she gazes down at me in conjunction the Black and Green Lion's warm gazes.

Shiro holds out a hand to Pidge and I, and as we stumble to rise to our feet he looks at the lions with wide eyes and murmurs, "The lions… saved us." 

Pidge blinks in wonder, all the anger seems to have washed away from his face as he murmurs, "I didn't know they could do that." 

With a sigh of relief I pat the tip of my lion’s claw, "Thanks, buddy."

We don't have time to wonder at our sentient, magical lions as Pidge suddenly taps both of us on the shoulder, his voice climbing to a new level of terror, "Uh, Shiro? Will?"

We turn to the massive Galra…  _ thing  _ just as it begins to move.

It reminds me of a coffin, or a casket, with flat sides and sharp corners; it has the same black metal as the Galra cruiser, with the same purple and red highlights that seem to be the aesthetic of Galra tech. Its sides fall outward, like a box on Christmas day, revealing a massive robot within. 

The entire robot is  _ massive,  _ it could absolutely crush us under foot without thinking, it must be at least the size of Voltron, if not bigger. It has a rounded, purple, barrel-like chest, a conch-looking right hand, almost like a torch where its hand should be, and two eyes; one is yellow, and the other is red. All three of us flinch when the eyes flare to life, and I can  _ feel  _ its gaze on me, boring into my skin. Something animalistic, terror, flight or fight, kicks in, and I immediately whirl towards Shiro with wide eyes, a wordless question on my lips,  _ what do we do?! _

Shiro meets our gazes and immediately barks, his voice is level yet commanding, "Get in your lions!" 

Pidge and I turn to our lions at a dead sprint. The White Lion kneels and quickly swallows me up, and I sprint up the stairs and slide into the pilot's seat faster than I ever have,  _ I'm probably going to have to get used to making this climb.  _ The controls engage as soon as I sit down, Silver probably sensing my panic and matching my speed. 

I look up once I’m settled to see that the robot is on the move. It holds up its torch-like hand, and a massive, purple ball of power begins to manifest, sizzling and crackling in the air like living electricity, the flame to the torch. It must be as large as the Epcot ball, it’s a formidable weapon on its own. 

With a full arm swing, the orb launches out like a cannon, straight at us.

"Move!" I cry, and without a second thought I barrel my lion into the Black and Green Lions to shove them out of the way as the orb cracks the earth we were just standing, both Shiro and Pidge crying out in surprise as the sudden jerk.

They recover quickly, and I hear Shiro huff breathlessly, "Thanks for the save, Will!" The orb returns to the robot's conch hand.  _ Where were the others? _

"Keith, Lance, Hunk, come in, are you okay? We could really use your help!" I yell into the com, and frantically I look across my holographic panel,  _ calm, relax, we were just doing this: attack. Mouth Laser!  _ I take a breath and engage my lion's mouth laser, the violent blue beam blasting into the side of the robot but it doesn’t nearly have the effect I was hoping it would have. It doesn't slice into the metal like it did for the Galra warship on Earth, but the heat alone causes the area and sands around the robot to explode with hot, black smoke, like when Allura was trying to ‘inspire’ us on our first day of training. Before the smoke and dust settles, the orb launches out, straight at the Green Lion.

Pidge fires the Green Lion's laser at the orb to stop its path, but to no avail, the orb instead smashing the Green Lion square in the face, sending Pidge flying as he shouts in surprise over the com. The robot moves to follow where he fell, but the Black Lion leaps forward onto the robot's back, digging its claws into the metal to stop it. I approach from the front and fire my lion’s mouth cannon to keep its attention but the beam seems to be doing nothing to the integrity of its armor. It grabs one of the Black Lion's paws and hurls him into the distance, head over tail, before it turns to me. I swallow my fear and clench my fingers around the controls, _‘sometimes you have to take initiative, you can’t just wait until they attack’._ I jerk the controls forward and my lion leaps to action. The robot swings its torch-like hand to crush us and I barely roll us out of the way in time, dancing between its feet and lashing out with the White Lion’s claws at its legs with its back turned, but it barely makes it dent, I just scratched it like a lightly keyed side of a car. The robot twists about and lifts its torch hand, but when I dodge to avoid the torch I look up and see it hasn’t moved, like it’s waiting for something. _Hold on, where’s the orb-_ my lion and I are sent flying across the sands as the orb crashes into our side, whirring by with a loud, thundering hum as it returns to its masters claw. I hiss and grab my side as my lion rolls upright, it feels an awful lot like I just got hit with a baseball, the space right on the lower half of my ribcage on my right side aches. _But it’s not bad. I can manage._

Suddenly, Keith's voice cries anxiously through the com, "Lay down some cover fire so they can get out of there!" I look up from my lion's position lying in the sand to see white-blue beams cutting the sky, lashing at the robot from three different places; the Yellow, Blue, and Red Lions have finally arrived.

"About time you guys showed up!" I tease as the robot raises its other hand, the non-orby one to shield itself from their fire, but I notice again that the beams don’t seem to be hurting it any. But at least they're distracting it.

"What the hell is that thing?" I mumble under my breath in disbelief as Hunk exclaims over the mic, "Check this out! Battle-Lion headbutt!" I jump as the Yellow Lion leaps over my lion's head, sprinting along the earth and then headbutting the robot so hard in the back it falls on its face with a mechanical groan.  _ Nice, Hunk! _

Keith's voice is worried as it crackles through the communicator, "You guys okay down there?"

"Still alive for now." Shiro answers, a bit out of breath. I press the White Lion back onto her paws, launching into the air to regroup with the others where they hover in the sky. We watch for a moment, catching our breath and collecting our thoughts as the robot stumbles to its feet with heavy stamps into the earth. 

"Are the Galra behind this?" Hunk asks through the mic. I examine the robot from our position, looking for any signs of weakness,  _ it doesn't seem receptive to damage from our lasers, at least not enough to destroy it. What is this thing  _ **_made_ ** _ of? _

"I think so, but I've never seen anything like it." Shiro answers, to which Lance quickly follows up with a focused tone, "So, what's the plan? Shoot at it with everything we've got? Take out its weapon?... Call it names?"

I frown, speaking quickly, "Its not affected by our lasers, you saw that much, this thing is tougher than what Galra battleships are made of. We're going to need sterner stuff."

"If we want to take this monster down, then there's only one way to do it." Shiro declares, and I feel the synergy between our lions spark as our thoughts congregate. We fly into the sky, in formation as Shiro cries, "Form Voltron!"

With a whirr of mechanics, we click into place, positioning ourselves as the robot below seems to recover itself from the successive blows we dealt it. We land back onto the ground once Voltron is formed, and we re-examine the robot with new eyes as one. We haven’t had much of a chance to actually practice  _ fighting  _ in Voltron yet, we’ve just been working on moving together and not hitting things, forming and then reforming Voltron, so we’ve really only prepared for this exchange only up until this moment.  _ Alright, time to learn through experience! _

Shiro reflects my own thoughts, "Remember, we are one unit, fighting with one goal." No sooner than Shiro speaks does the robot's conch hand flare, the orb of energy snapping back to life. I grit my jaw, my resolved hardened as we lunge forward together to attack.

The robot slings the orb at us, rather clumsily as we easily dodge it, which is saying a lot since we could barely fly straight two days ago. I turn with Shiro's help, Keith letting out a warning shout as we lash out with the Red lion, the right hand of Voltron, to sucker punch the robot. It catches Keith in its conch-hand, now devoid of energy, halting us and our momentum on our tracks, but I quickly shift Voltron into a crouch to instead engage Pidge, lashing out with our other hand and giving the robot a swift uppercut to the jaw with the Green Lion. The robot stumbles back, colliding with a mesa and bracing against it. As it shakes its head as if to clear its mind we move as one before it can recover, leaping into the air and bringing both Keith and Pidge as fists down onto the robot’s chest. It barely defends itself in time with its non-conch arm, the sound of scraping and creaking metal ringing in my ears. The robot suddenly holds out its conch hand to the side, before jabbing outwards, almost like it's pulling on a loose thread of a shirt.

Before I can recognize what’s happening we're blindsided by the orb of energy, rocking me in my cabin as Voltron falls, hard.

The power shakes us and I wince as I hear the others cry out in varying measures of surprise as Voltron falls face first into the ground. I hear the whirring noise, almost like the Doppler Effect as the orb leaves, but it's already beginning to get louder again  _ wait shit, _ _ it's coming back- _

"Move!" I yell, engaging Voltron's back thrusters to roll us onto our back, gliding out of the way just before the orb crashes down upon the place we just were. Hunk and Lance engage the thrusters in Voltron’s feet to keep us balanced as we put some distance between us and this robot.

Keith murmurs in disbelief under his breath, "I thought that Voltron was the most powerful weapon in the universe?" 

The orb returns to the robot, but without a pause it quickly sling-shoots it back towards us as we collect back to our feet, Hunk exclaiming incredulously, "Yeah, so how is this monster kicking our butts?" 

We dive to the side to avoid the orb, and we turn this time to watch it, so it doesn't blindside us again. I hear rapid, loud, earth-shaking footsteps behind us, and I turn us too late to defend ourselves as the robot's fist descends, crunching us right in the middle as the punch sends Voltron flying backwards. The White Lion groans from the impact, and I flinch, gasping as I feel the punch as real as if the robot just sucker punched  _ me  _ in the stomach. We roll and land face down into the ground. I struggle to breathe, my grip on the controls so tight my knuckles are turning white, but when I look back up through my lion's eyes ahead of us I see a small village, or at least what looks like a village, just a mere mile away. 

_ Whoa… does that mean there are aliens living on this planet? Arusians, I guess they’re called? Shit, we have to protect them! _

"Guys, we've gotta get this monster away from the village." Shiro barks into the com,  _ thank God I’m not the only one who thought of that.  _ I flip the switches to engage Voltron’s back thrusters, roll us over right as the robot hurtles the orb towards us. We raise our hands in an attempt to stop it, but its energy is too strong to completely block and instead we're knocked backward. I flip several switches as fast as I can, engaging the thrusters in Voltron's back at full blast as we barely avoid crushing the village below, gliding just over it. 

I exhale in relief, "That was  _ too  _ close!"

We press forward on our controls as one, flying as fast as possible in the opposite direction of the village. The robot quickly gives chase, thankfully, and Pidge's voice cracks over the com as we peer at the monster out of the rearviews of our lions, "We got him away, but we can't take him down!"

"I've got it!" Lance states confidently, "I'm gonna power kick that orb thing!"

Keith snaps back immediately, "No! The last time you did a kick, we fell!" 

_ Well, we’ve got no other ideas right now.  _ We whirl around to face the robot as the orb sparks to life, Lance huffing at Keith through the com, "Stop living in the past!"

The robot slings the orb as it races towards us and we leap into the air with full thrusters. Lance lets out a rallying cry as he guides the Blue Lion in a powerful kick downward at the approaching orb, but at the last second I barely hear Lance whispering into the com, "Oh no!" 

The orb misses Voltron's foot, instead it smacks Voltron straight in the face. 

We fall to the ground, but I can feel the ground shaking as the monster approaches with thunderous footsteps.  _ Get up. _ I quickly turn Voltron to get back on its feet as the robot gets closer right, Shiro cries over the com, "Pidge, fire lasers, now!"

Pidge nods, extending the Green Lion towards the oncoming enemy, "Got it, fire!" With a whir, instead of lasers, the back wings of Voltron detach and formed in front of Pidge as a massive shield. He's done it before during practice, but I don't think he's doing it on purpose now. 

Pidge swears immediately, "Oops!"

Shiro shouts into the com, "No, lasers,  _ lasers! _ " But it's too late, the robot lashes forward and punches Voltron right in the gut beneath the shield, right into my lion, and as we stumble back the orb blindsides us from the other side, spiraling Voltron in circles and knocking us into the ground. I grip the controls so hard that my hands shake, my side radiating angry pain from the punch and my back feeling like I got hit with a baseball bat.  _ Christ, this thing’s a fucking semi-truck. I didn’t realize I’d get that pain transitive while we’re in Voltron too, that kind of fucking sucks. _

I shove down the pain and struggle to right us, but my controls are growing less responsive the harder I press.  _ We're weakening.  _ “The lions can’t take much more of this!”

"Every time we focus on that orb, we get blindsided by the monster, but every time we focus on the monster, the orb hits us!" Hunk laments, and I tighten my grip on the controls as we finally fight to our feet.  _ Now let’s stay here.  _

"Then what do we do?" Lance shouts, only to be interrupted by Hunk screaming, _ "Orb!"  _ Pidge barely raises the shield in defense the orb’s hum thunders across the sand and slams into the shield, but we’re off balance so the crash sends us stumbling backwards and falling into a craggy cliff-face behind us. The orb returns to its place at the monster's right hand, and I flurry to think of anything,  _ anything  _ that can get us out of this.

Keith's voice anxiously comes over the com, "Shiro, we need to get out of here." Silence greets him, and Keith presses with more anxiety, "Shiro, can you hear me?” Silence.  _ “Shiro!” _

I furrow my eyebrows, and for some reason my immediate reaction is to reach into my subconscious, my soul, whatever it is that is all tangled with the others in order for us to form Voltron, and outward, towards the Black Lion. Immediately I’m assaulted with distress and terror. "Something's wrong." I murmur to myself before shouting louder to get his attention, "Shiro, answer us, are you okay?"

The robot advances towards us, slowly, like it knows it has us cornered, right as Shiro suddenly gasps through the com, "That sound... I recognize this monster from my time in Zarkon's prison. I know how to beat him!"

"Move!" I cry, pressing forward to roll Voltron out of the way as the robot brings its orb as a fist down upon us, instead embedding itself into the cracking cliff. We regroup a ways away, Voltron's fingers gracing the ground to stabilize us.

"Listen, the orb makes a loud noise when it returns to the base of the weapon, and every third time the orb needs to be charged up! That's this monster's weakest point, and that's when we strike!" Shiro stammers in a flurry as the creature turns to us, the orb lofted in its conch.  _ What? Every third time? How does one even get to notice shit like that, I’m barely able to remember where the fucking thrusters and shit are in here- _

Hunk pipes up when Shiro is finished, "Okay, so what do we do in the meantime?" 

Shiro barks with verbally bared teeth, "Defense!"

The robot slings its orb towards us right as Shiro shouts, "Pidge, we need that shield!" I turn Voltron to fully face the oncoming orb as Pidge engages the shield and we brace ourselves as the orb crashes against it with a powerful burst, but this time we’re ready; we stumble back a few steps, but Lance and Hunk react quickly and merely reset us into a forward position, ready for the next blow. I let out a breath, "Great job Hunk and Lance, keep us stable!"

"That's one! Two more to go!" Shiro exclaims, and we prepare ourselves as the orb comes rushing around once more, the robot advancing with slow steps, seemingly totally content to pummel us with its orb as it approaches us. I position Voltron carefully behind the shield, gritting my teeth in concentration as the violent hum of the approaching orb races towards us and crashes against the shield so violently it nearly sends us falling onto our back. Hunk cries out with a voice full of fear, "We can't take much more!"

The orb returns to the conch in the creatures arm as it slings it forward one more time, and immediately Shiro barks, "Last one! Everyone, brace for impact!" The orb spirals through the air, the hum like thunder rolling through the air and colliding with the shield with the force of a crash of thunder. The shield shatters, the two pieces from Voltron's back flying off to the side as the orb returned to rest in the creature's hand.

Shiro gasps, ordering briskly, "Now!"

I press the controls up and force Voltron to its feet, bringing Keith about to open fire on the monster. The Red Lion’s beams strike the robot square in the chest, and it let out a mechanical groan as it falls over on impact, a massive cloud of dust encircling it from the ground. 

I let out a celebratory cry, my grip on my controls relaxing,  _ thank fucking God, that was so shitty. Lucky for us the power beams in Voltron are more powerful than in our lions, didn’t think that that would be something necessary save for when we fought battle cruisers- _

Suddenly, the robot rises from the dust cloud like a zombie from a grave, appearing completely unscathed.

We let out a collective outroar of frustration, "It didn't work!" Pidge cries in lament.

"Now what?" Lance voices, but we don’t have to think, only to act. I jerk the controls and send Voltron diving out of the way as the monster races forward and attempts to club us with its arm, its large torch hand instead strikes the place we once were, cracking the earth and leaving a building sized crater in its place.

I gasp for breath, and I'm vaguely aware that my arms are shaking as Shiro speaks rapid-fire, "When I fought him before, I had a sword!" 

Right as I twist to get Voltron back upright Hunk screams,  _ "Orb, ORB!" _

Keith and Pidge react fastest, bringing Voltron's arms in front as a shield right as the orb collides, cracking the ground beneath us as we cry out in unison from the violent rattling in our cabins.

"We can't take another shot like that!" Pidge shouts. I look over to the side and watch as a hologram pops up with an image of Voltron, various flashes of angry red highlighting the Green and Red Lions with a sign that reads  _ CRITICAL.  _

Suddenly I feel a purr. I blink down at my chest but realize that it isn't my lion that's purring; it's the Red Lion, Keith's.  _ How do I know that? _

"Wait a second guys… I think my lion 's telling me what to do!" Keith cries in a confused tone over the com.

Lance shouts back with high anxiety, "Well, whatever it is, hurry it up and do it! He's about to fire his third shot!" We all turn to embrace for impact, the angry beeping of Voltron’s composition status radiating in the space when all of a sudden I feel another purr, but this one’s from within Silver. Time seems to slow, I feel her iron resolve as a series of images pass over my vision; the stone around my neck, the white stone in the iron box,  _ ‘I can, with your help.’ _

I square Voltron's shoulders and speak without thought "Keith, Pidge, your lions can’t take another hit so don't block it, let it hit Voltron in the chest! Let it hit me!"

"What?" They both exclaim in confusion, but fortunately, or not, they're unable to act fast enough in time anyway as the orb lashes out through the air like the crack of a whip, crushes its weight directly onto the White Lion and I. 

The force of the blow sends Voltron flying backwards as it breaks through the cliff face we were pinned against and my vision goes black; I felt it like a battering ram against my chest, that blow hit so hard it knocked the breath out of me and then some. When I open my eyes, I see stars and black spots dancing in front of my vision and I'm desperately fighting for air. I lean against the controls, my arms trembling as I suck in wind and I struggle to help Voltron right itself.  _ Pain is secondary, survive this shit first otherwise it was all for nothing _ . The robot comes rushing forward as the orb returns to its base, ready to deliver a full body, crushing punch. I hear Keith yell through the mic as the robot leaps and Voltron moves, almost at its own volition.

Pidge and Keith come together, and from the mouth of the Red Lion emerges a flash of brilliant blue that slices upwards as the monster descends on us, cutting clean through it like it's made of butter. Its pieces fly over our head, and after a second of held breath, it explodes with a fiery burst, just in case there was any doubt that we’d destroyed it.

I look over at the Red Lion.  _ What the fuck was that.  _ In between its jaws is a massive sword, glinting silver with a red edge in the sunshine like the surf of a bloody sea along its edges. 

_ Thank God the Red Lion decided now was the time to tell Keith about the sword, cause I seriously think I would’ve blacked out if I got hit like that again. _

Hunk laughs incredulously, "How did you  _ do  _ that?!"

Keith is silent for a moment, mumbling, "Whoa..." Under his breath I hear him chuckling before murmuring again, "Thanks, Red."

I can't help but be sarcastic, especially to attempt to cover up how much pain I'm in, "You named your lion Red? That's... original. Couldn't come up with anything better?"

Keith flares over the com, "Hey, it's accurate!"

"Well, yeah, but like, damn. I named my lion Silver, at least that sounds  _ cool. _ " I tease. I hear scattered laughs as we slowly release ourselves from the bond of Voltron, separating into our individual lions. As soon as I do I hear the White Lion purring in... appreciation?  _ That’s how I’m gonna take it anyway. You’re fucking welcome. _

"You also named your dragon Kevin, so I don't even want to hear it from you." Keith answers tersely, and I can hear him smirking as the rest of the team breaks into laughter.

"Wait a minute,” Pidge suddenly stops laughing abruptly, “You have a dragon? Like, a stuffed animal or something?" Pidge gasps in excitement to which Lance quickly follows with a hoot of laughter, "And you named it  _ Kevin?!  _ That's the...  _ ha! _ " 

Lance loses his shit over Kevin for a solid minute as we fly back to the Castle of Lions, he’s  _ still  _ chuckling as Allura comes onto the com line, "Paladins, is everything alright?"

"Yes, we're okay.” Shiro answers with a soft breath of relief, “You should come back to the Castle, and we'll catch you up." 

I can hear Allura smiling through the mic, "Copy that!" 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I changed my mind on having this combined with what was in the last chapter, so I just copy and pasted it into a fresh thing. It's a tad shorter than others, but ya know, first real fight scene, it deserves it, right?  
> -tense edited as of 10/21/18-  
> -edited for consistency 1/11/19-


	9. The Party Goes Awry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will is reeling after the strange monster Voltron was able to defeat, through a stroke of luck of Keith discovering one of the Red Lion's abilities. What was it? Where did it come from? It leads the team to many many questions, but not many can be answered as Will isn't doing so great in the aftermath. He discovered that he has an empathy link with his lion in the last battle, which gives him the power to transfer any damage his lion sustains to his own person instead. He's grateful, in a way, that his lion can transfer any damage she takes directly to him, it seems fitting, but in the moment, it definitely sucks.  
> What does this mean for the future? Is Zarkon and the Galra Empire closer than Will thinks?  
> \---  
> **Spoiler yet also Warning: Blood and injuries are mentioned as well as some violence/hand to hand combat at the end of the chapter**  
> Got an art piece related to this chapter on https://thewhitepaladin.tumblr.com/ tagged #chapter 9

When I land my lion in her hanger, I know that something’s not right. 

My chest hurts just as bad as it did the second after that orb crushed Voltron’s chest, it hasn’t gotten worse, but it hasn’t gotten better, and the worst part, the scariest part, is that it’s getting more nad more difficult to breathe. Not like I’m about to blackout or anything like that, but it hurts to take a full, deep breath, and when I do breathe it sends radiating pain throughout my body all the way to my fingertips.  _ I think I seriously got hurt, but I don’t want to overreact, or worse, get the others worried about me for no reason. I’ll just try and ignore it until I can’t anymore, that always works. Once we convene to talk about that fight we just had with Allura I’ll go check it out, but right now I’ve just gotta shoulder it and keep up appearances.  _

We convene in the lounge by the hangers to meet up with Allura.

“Paladins, I’m glad you’re alright!” Allura proclaims as soon as she races into the room, her hands immediately falling to her sides as she takes a breath of relief. As we congregate around the couch she regains her composure, her gaze set and determined as they rest on Shiro, “What happened?

Hunk, Lance, Pidge, and Keith immediately collapse onto the couch with varying groans while Shiro props his foot on the central coffee table, leaning an elbow on his knee with a contemplative gaze fixed on Allura, “In all honesty? We have no idea.”

I'm aching to sit, but I'm worried if I do, it would just worsen the pain that I already am in and make it harder to hide, so I remain standing at Shiro side with my arms crossed over my chest. The light pressure makes the outside of my chest hurt, but it seems to alleviate the pain underneath, which is a lot more unbearable, so I take the lesser of the two evils.

Hunk sits up a bit from where he’s collapsed on the couch, turning to face Allura as his hands wave wildly, recounting the experience, “It was insane! When we went to check on Shiro, Pidge, and Will, there was this  _ huge _ robot with a big hand with an orb on it, and it would sling it around like it was a morning star except without a chain, and it was totally kicking our butts-”

“To be fair, we haven’t exactly had any experience fighting head to head with another giant robot.” Pidge offers, his arms crossed over his chest as he scrunches his nose to push his glasses up his face. 

“But don’t worry,” Lance flashes Allura a charming grin and a wink, “We took it down, no sweat.”

“Speak for yourself.” Hunk grumbles as he rests his head back down onto the back of the couch seat and closing his eyes. 

Allura nods with a contemplative expression, raising an eyebrow at Shiro as she speaks, “What do we know? Any sign of the robot’s origin?”

I fix my gaze on Shiro as he shifts to stand upright, crossing his arms over his chest with a deep frown, "It came out of a Galra ship, but none like any I'd ever seen."

"The Galra must be testing us, as Voltron, to see if we are really a force to be reckoned with." Keith speaks up on the left side of the couch where he rests, his leg bouncing with anxious energy with his gaze fixed on Shiro, "I doubt that'll be the last of them, either."

“So that means Zarkon knows we’re here.” Shiro states. The room runs cold as ice, and for a moment no one says anything.

I turn to speak to Shiro, but as I glance over at him the open seat on the couch next to Keith just looks so... appealing. I give in to the drag, and practically collapse into the so comfy, nice cushions and let out a deep breath as I look up at Shiro, "You said that you had fought this thing before? How?"

Shiro's eyebrows immediately furrow, and his jaw tightens slightly as he glances at the floor, "It wasn't a robot before. He was the Galra gladiator, Myzax." 

I blink, recalling the conversation with the recovering aliens from earlier.  _ Myzax, the gladiator that Shiro defeated to earn that title the aliens kept calling him, ‘Champion’... _ “The way the monster fought, it was exactly like how he did,” Shiro continues with a deep, unsettled frown, “The same weapon, the same tactic…”

Keith's voice is gentle and dare I say tender as he interrupts him, "We're glad you were with us, Shiro. I don't think we could've defeated it without you." Shiro meets Keith's gaze and smiles a little at the corner of his mouth.

Lance rolls over from where he had collapsed on the couch, "I'm just glad we  _ lived _ . Is anyone else feeling like they just got hit by a truck?" 

I glance down at the breastplate of my armor and wonder how the hell there is no exterior evidence of the pain I’m in. I'm certain a massive bruise is blossoming, and as time wears on and the adrenaline wears off, it's getting even harder to take deep breaths, which is a  _ little _ concerning. I quickly shake the thought away as soon as it emerges,  _ now is not the time… But goddamnit, the pain is making it hard to fucking focus. _

Allura listens with her arms folded over her chest, flickering her sapphire gaze to each of us individually, “This is incredibly concerning information. I’ve never heard of such a thing, especially coming out of the Galra Empire.” 

Shiro nods in agreement, resting his prosthetic hand on his knee that’s propped up on the table, “Once we’re off Arus, I think finding out more about this new technology should be among our top priorities in dismantling Zarkon’s empire.”

“Agreed.” Allura pushes her shoulders back as she turns her gaze to each one of us, “Well, in slightly better news, I’ll have you all know that this evening we will be formally hosting the Arusians for a small gathering here at the Castle, officially welcoming them as the first to join the Voltron Coalition.”

Lance gasps, sitting upright with a wide grin, “Wait, a gathering? We’re throwing a party?!”

Shiro furrows his eyebrows, his jaw set as he looks to Allura, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Allura nods, her chin held high, “The Arusians have been our neighbors for the last thousand years, we must show some hospitality. And beyond that... they were so frightened of Voltron a few days ago when you destroyed Commander Sendak’s ship that they thought it was the end of times, even going so far as to send one of their warriors to the Castle in search of answers.” She clasps her hands over her heart, her gaze softening as she regards Shiro, “I feel that we owe it to them to show them that not only are we not to be feared, but also that we’re to be trusted to protect them. Especially after this battle you all faced, they will need some assurance.” Shiro’s gaze flickers downward with a troubled look as Allura quickly tacks on, “But now, Shiro, I finally have an answer for you as to when we’re leaving Arus.” Shiro’s attention is immediately snatched as his gaze returns to Allura’s. She smiles with a gentle lilt, “Coran and I have finished testing the last of the systems. We should be able to begin the launch by tomorrow!”

This seems to ease the tension in Shiro’s shoulders, enough so that he nods to Allura in a curt, soldierly manner. I bite my lip, thinking of the golden light reflecting off the sea below the Castle, the rolling sands that have been our home for the past week.  _ I think I’m gonna miss this place, but I suppose it’s for the best. We can’t stay here forever, we’ve got to take the fight to Zarkon eventually. Ugh, that means we’re going space… but like, on a much bigger scale. Maybe it won’t be so bad as it was in the Blue Lion? Better circumstances, at least. _

“In the meantime,” Allura continues as she fixes us each with a parental-like gaze, “The prisoners are fully recovered, and they’re ready to return to their homeworlds. Coran’s preparing them a vessel, and they shall be ready to depart on the varga… But I suspect they will be most appreciative to say goodbye to their rescuers.” She gives us a well-meaning look before she turns slowly back hence she came and glides from the room.  _ Message received.  _

_ Aww, fuck, does that mean I have to wait until after they leave to do something about this pain in my chest? Fuck, it’s hurting like a  _ **_bitch_ ** _ right now. _

Hunk slowly rises, groaning loudly as he stretches his arms over his head, "Well, I think we’ve definitely deserved something to eat! Feeling up for some green goo, anybody?" 

Lance rolls off the couch onto the floor, letting out a loud noise about how hungry he is followed by a loud  _ thud  _ of his body hitting the floor. I smirk a little but as I start to laugh an immediately, sharp pain cracks across my chest and instead it morphs into a sharp breath followed by a painful wince.  _ Wow, my chest does not like that, not one bit _ . I curl my nose and touch the center of my chest experimentally and I’m completely relieved that no one seems to have noticed my reaction, now that the team’s rising to go their separate ways to get some rest before this party. I rise up as fast as I dare and race out of the room as fast as I can manage at a walking pace.  _ I don't need the team thinking I'm weak. Especially since Keith, Pidge, and Shiro took multiple direct hits from the orb and they seem entirely fine. Am I the only one who gets… this thing, this weird connection? Goddamnit, am I the odd one out here _ **_again_ ** _? _

I walk back to my room quickly, the door swishing open as I immediately strip out of my uniform, the armor pieces scattering on the ground with loud clunks. I kick off my flight suit, shaking out the soreness in my bare legs. I have taken to just wearing boxers and a shirt under my uniform because it gets too hot inside the suit for wearing pants, and frankly it's worked out much better.  _ Fuck, ow, breathing.  _ Fortunately I'm actually quite pleased with the quality of the clothes that were in my drawers, although I am a little annoyed that they're all in shades of white. Solid white isn't my best color,  _ but at least it's not yellow I suppose. Red hair and yellow clothes just don't mix well. Fuck, ow, breathing. Fuck.  _

I hike up the shirt to my chin to inspect the bruise, leaning on my dresser to get a better look and immediately I curl my nose, letting out a rush of air. There’s a dark purple bruise blossomed in the middle of my chest, at least as large as my palm, with angry, blood red veins zig-zagging outwards and down to my stomach, out wide along my ribs and reaching as far up as my collarbone. I think they're broken blood vessels under my skin, or something like it, I'm not sure, I'm no doctor. What I do know is that it looks ugly. I tap a finger on the center of the bruise and wince, but I’m able to feel my sternum underneath it.  _ No wonder it hurt so bad, it directly hit my heart protecting bone, as my dad likes to call it. That can’t be good. Wish I could see it better… maybe I should go to the bathroom and look at it in the mirror- _

"Ouch." I drop my shirt to cover my chest so fast I get a little whiplash as I look up at my door. Keith is standing in the entry of my room, looking at me with furrowed eyebrows and... concern?  _ Christ, he's a fucking shadow, I didn't even hear the door open!  _

“Ah! Keith! Hey. Didn't see you there. Guess I forgot to close my door…” I reply awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck uncomfortably as Keith lets himself in, the door shutting behind him.

"No, I followed you. You ran away kind of quickly there, and I thought something was wrong." Keith takes a step closer, his gaze flickering down to my stomach before he looks back up at me, "Want me to take a look?"

_ Shit. _

_ I'm still in my underwear. _

"I mean, sure, if you want to, but I don't think anything can be done about it, I think it's just a bruise." I answer, trying to be as lackadaisical about it as I can physically manage but it takes about all of my will and concentration to keep my voice from cracking.  _ It’s fine, it’s just boxers, they’re practically shorts, nothing weird about that. Plus he’s offering to help, there’s nothing remotely uncomfortable about this, why am I suddenly so flustered?  _ Keith steps closer and gestures to the hem of my shirt, and it takes me an embarrassing long moment to realize it’s because he wants me to take it off.  _ HnNn what the fuck why is this freaking me out so much. _

I tug the hem of my shirt up, but I can already feel the blush that’s rising in my face like a tidal wave. I hold the hem in my mouth so I can lean against the bookshelf behind me with both hands so I don’t accidentally… I don’t know, I’m telling myself it’s so I don’t punch Keith as a knee jerk reaction to him prodding the bruise but really I’m just  _ far too gay  _ for the situation. Keith looks like he is reading a difficult phrase on my chest that he has to translate, it’s really hard to not feel like I personally am being scrutinized before he reaches forward to touch me.

I wince before he even has the chance, and he meets my gaze with an endearingly sweet, confused look.  _ God my face must be so fucking red right now. I’m not wrong thinking that this situation looks a little… compromising, right? Does he not get the same feeling? I thought straight dudes were even more intensely aware of potentially gay situations to avoid them, or am I just that hopelessly gay that I'm reading way to into this? Jesus Christ, why do his eyes have to be so pretty- _

"You good?" Keith asks with a raised eyebrow. I swiftly nod, moving to move my shirt to behind my head rather than in my mouth  _ because that sure does make the situation look more compromising why didn’t I fucking think of that- _ "Yeah, sorry, it just hurt."

Keith scoffs, "I didn't touch you, yet."  _ Holy fuck that’s what she said. But I shouldn’t say that aloud. If he doesn’t think this is compromising then no need to point it out. _

I clear my throat, drop kicking the gay thoughts away as I dig deep into normalcy pulling out a teasing grin from somewhere in my subconscious. I roll my eyes, snapping back at him with a playful smirk, "Well, it was probably gonna hurt!" 

Keith merely chuckles under his breath as his gaze flickers back to my chest,  _ holy fuck, I’ve never felt this vulnerable with someone looking at me, but then again I’ve never had someone examining my chest with scrutiny before, save that one surgeon but that was his job- _ Keith’s thumbs grace the broken blood vessels on the lower part of my rib cage just over my stomach, feather touches that I barely would've felt if I wasn't so hyper aware of his presence-  _ no, I barely would’ve felt them if my chest didn’t hurt so bad, don’t go making this gay, Lancaster _ . Keith’s gaze is focused on my chest and as his thumb reaches the bare outside of the bruise I can’t help but flinch. He rests his other hand on my waist, to hold me still, and I have to physically fight not to make a sound,  _ Jesus Christ.  _ His other hand inspects the bruise, his circular touches slowly moving from the blood vessels around the bruise to the edges.  _ No gay thoughts, think of puppies, kittens, Voltron kicking ass, getting my ass beat by that robot. Yeah, there’s nothing gay about getting punched in the chest, that just really fucking hurt, there’s nothing weird with this situation whatsoever- _

"Nice tattoo." Keith murmurs under his breath, his gaze flickering up to meet mine.  _ Fuck. How the hell,  _ **_when_ ** _ the hell did I get so violently gay for Keith?  _

"Thanks. It's the symbol of the camp I work at." I answer, relieved to be thinking about  _ literally anything  _ besides the fact that Keith is  _ touching my bare chest and talking to me about my fucking tattoo-  _ "It's kind of a cult there, everybody gets the mark eventually. I thought it would be cool for it to be my first." It's just a simple tribal, two mountains over a curved river with a sun hanging overhead, nothing I thought too special. “Do you have any?” 

Keith wordlessly shakes his head. I hiss as he touches a particular painful stretch of bruised skin, my eyebrows drawing together, and Keith pauses for a brief moment to look at me. He’s probably just seeing if I’m good, but the shadows of his hair hanging over his eyes from the overhead lighting are just so  _ fucking attractive  _ that it feels obscene for him to be looking at me like that. He raises an eyebrow at me,  _ he’s just checking in, _ and after a beat he returns to the task, murmuring under his breath, "You have more than one?"

"Yeah?” I don’t really talk too much about my tattoos, not really because I’m ashamed or they’re super meaningful or anything, it’s just like one of those things where there’s this line between obnoxiously flaunting vs. humble revealing, and I much prefer the latter. Keith presses a thumb a little too hard against one of my ribs and I flinch. He glances at me with an apologetic look, and his hand on my waist tightens to keep me still.  _ Fucking hell.  _

"Where?" Keith asks with a conversational tone and I swear to God I almost don’t hear him because I’m trying really fucking hard  _ not  _ to focus on his hand on the bare skin of my waist, but when I realize he just asked me  _ where  _ I have tattoos, I feel a sly smirk inching up my face.  _ I can't help myself. He set me up so well, I have to.  _

"Take me out to dinner first, then I'll show you." I tease, and for some fucking reason some long forgotten courage resurfaces for two seconds for me to  _ wink  _ at Keith before it buries itself somewhere I can never find it again.  _ Oh my God, Will, what the fuck was that. Why. WHY when I am not wearing a  _ **_shirt_ ** _ and I’m in my  _ **_underwear-_ ** _ no, this is totally natural, he’s just checking out the bruise- _

Immediately my respiratory system practically shuts down as Keith freezes. I see the tips of his ears turning red, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.  _ Oh that was so bad, but holy shit I made him blush. Fuck it, that was so worth it. _

Keith clears his throat, and his hand that had stalled on my chest resumes its annoying, painful prodding around my bruise. I try to ignore the pain, I need a distraction from it so I find myself staring at Keith. His hair falls in gentle waves, curling under his jaw and at the nape of his neck, with long bangs hanging over his eyes, at first I thought he had it cut like that on purpose but I think it just does that naturally. I  _ still  _ have no fucking clue what color his eyes are, right now they look like steel, but now that we’re close like this I can see that the outer rim of his pupils are a deep violet, and the inside that’s closest to the pupils are indigo. The overhead light outshines the color, washing it away to the gray it is now, but when the shadows of his bangs pass over his eyes they remind me of what I’d imagine what a pond would look like in the deep of night in the realm of the Fae; it’s like the  _ everything  _ part of the nothingness of space, the blues like the reflection of the moon on the waters, it’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen.  _ Oh my GOD there’s no way I’d be over analyzing a man’s eye color unless I’m  _ **_this_ ** _ gay. Where the hell did these feelings get caught from? _

I jolt when Keith presses a thumb on the edge of my sternum, but before I can make any pained noise I bite down on my lip. Keith’s gaze that I’d been so closely inspecting flicker to me, and I realize that I’m staring at him  _ way  _ harder than is socially acceptable. I close my eyes,  _ I really have to stop objectifying him like this, this is why people thing gay men are predatory-  _ I jump a little when I feel one of Keith's fingers brushes against one of the scars underneath my pectoral, and when I open my eyes to look at him I meet his unreadable gaze, "These scars look like they hurt." Keith murmurs, his gaze meeting mine briefly before moving his other hand to the other scar under my other pectoral, "There's another one on this side, too."  _ What happened to checking the bruise? Is it just “hey lets check out all the weird parts Will has and ask him about it because there’s nothing WEIRD about this.” And of course, that’s the thing he notices and asks about. _

I feel my cheeks flush red as I struggle to look at anywhere but him.  _ I'm just being sensitive, this is not an intimate moment, it's not intimate, it's not intimate-  _ "Don't worry, they're surgical scars." I answer with my gaze fixed on the wall over Keith’s shoulder so I can quit  _ staring _ . Keith raises an eyebrow as he continues to prod at my bruise, warranting me to suck in more breath in mixed surprise and pain.

"Surgical? What kind of surgery makes scars like these?" Keith asks. I blink and look at him with a stupefied expression,  _ the fuck kind of question is that-  _ but as his eyes meet mine I realize it’s totally genuine. He looks  _ genuinely  _ confused. 

"You really don't know?"

Keith blinks at me with the same clueless expression, but before he can answer I quickly clear my throat and look away, "Don’t worry, it's nothing important, really."

I don't know why, but I'm reluctant to tell Keith I'm transgender. I guess it's because I strove for so long to look and act so traditionally masculine that no one would question it, and God it was such a  _ relief _ when new people looked at me and didn't see someone who is trans, they just see a dude, a person, a cis guy. That was one of the few perks I got when we moved to Texas. I don't want to relinquish that feeling while I hold it, especially when I don't know how he'll react when he discovers this information.  _ Selfish, I suppose, but who'll it hurt really? ‘What you don’t know won’t hurt’, and all that. _

Keith furrows his eyebrows at me, obviously not convinced but he seems willing to drop the subject as he prods a particularly painful part of my bruise, and I wince so hard the dresser I'm leaning on shakes.

"Maybe you should spend time in the healing pods. I don't think any of your ribs are broken, but I think that your sternum, here," Keith gently lay his finger on the center of my chest and I bite my lip to keep from making any noise, "... I think it may be bruised."

"Yeah, no shit." I chuckle.  _ Okay, he’s done, clothes back on, now, holy shit.  _ I pull my shirt from around my neck and let it drop back down into place, causing Keith's hands to retreat back to his sides. "I'll be fine, I don't think we can afford for me to spend a whole day in one of those right now. It looks worse than it actually is."

Keith furrows his eyebrows, "Well, we won't be able to afford to later when we need to find a replacement for the White Lion." 

I blink at him in surprise and move to cross my arms over my chest but I fucking  _ forgot  _ the whole reason he’s fucking here is because that hurts, so instead I set my hands on my hips, "Hey, I know I'm not the best, but I'm all we have for right now. Try to find a replacement for me after we get the ship off the planet." I snap at him, a little hurt in all honesty.  _ When we need to find a replacement for the White Lion, what does that even have to do with me sitting in a pod now? Did he just say that on purpose to hurt my feelings? What the fuck. Well, at least that’s something to whisk the gay feelings away, nothing like the reminder of being replaced to make caught feelings go away.  _

Keith looks at me with equal surprise as I feel before he verbally, "What? Wait, no, that's not what I meant.” He blinks, taking a step away as he speaks a little more rapidly, “I mean you should rest now, take the day  _ now _ instead of... I don't know, maybe you'll get hurt worse later, or it’ll get worse and then you’ll have to spend two days, three, in the pod instead of the one." Keith explains, speaking rather animatedly with his hands.  _ Aww, he’s flustered, so he speaks with his hands more when he’s caught off guard, maybe because he’s embarrassed.  _ Then do I suddenly become very very aware of how close he is. As in to say, he isn't weirdly close... but he is close enough to touch. Alone. In my room. With the door closed.  _ Well that lack of gay feelings was fun while it lasted, Will, shut your gay ass up oh my God- _

"Right, of course, sorry, I guess I uh.. yeah, my bad." I clear my throat, rubbing the back of my neck as I slowly work up the courage to meet Keith's gaze. He is so expressionless most of the time, it's hard to see what's going through his head. Yet, he’s also pretty expressive, I've seen him laugh and smirk and frown. Maybe he just feels the need to guard himself around me. 

_ Oh god, he can smell the gay on me. Fuck, am I really crushing on this dude right now so hard that he can  _ **_sense_ ** _ it? I need to stop being so obvious, I'm putting the fucking team in jeopardy- _

"Are you sure you're okay?" Keith asks softly, his expression becoming rather soft, and I nod so fast I think my head’s just about to pop off. Keith frowns in a pensive manner as he gestures to my chest, “How did you even get this?”

I blink at Keith, and for a moment I don’t know what to say. Up until this second I’d just assumed that everyone else was getting this… damage transfer thing that my lion showed me, but… am I wrong? Is it just me? “My lion showed me just before the orb came that I can transfer all damage we would've taken to me instead.” Keith blinks at me with surprise, and I find my words getting away from me as I speak with my hands with slight taps on my palm, “I knew I just... had to do it, I just assumed that the rest of you guys had the same thing so I was trying to protect you guys. But… I guess not, huh?” Keith wordlessly shakes his head, and I find myself shrugging nonchalantly, “That’s fine, I mean, I’m glad I could at least protect your lions, at least. Voltron’s structural integrity was looking pretty bad so in the end it probably helped.” 

Keith's gaze slides to the floor, and if he wasn’t so difficult to read most of the time I could’ve sworn he looked kind of… guilty? I let out a slight laugh at my own expense and rest my palms on the dresser behind me, "But hey, it’s all good. I made my own bed to lie in."

Keith's eyebrows is furrowed, and his eyes glint in a mysterious fashion as he rumbles, "But if I had taken that hit instead-"

I shake my head, standing upright and putting a hand on his shoulder to silence him, "Hey, it’s fine, dude. I told you to let it hit me even after I saw that, and it’s not like we had enough time to do anything about it anyway!” Keith doesn’t look convinced, his eyes glued to the side at something over my shoulder, so I speak in a softer tone and murmur, “I would rather take that hit a hundred times than let you take it once if I can help it, so don’t worry about it, alright?"

Keith blinks at me and I realize immediately when his eyes meet mine what I just said was  _ really  _ gay.  _ Oh no, quick, make it straight, make it straight -  _ I pull my hand away from him quickly, laughing awkwardly as I quickly add, "You, or anyone on the team, of course."

Keith’s eyes narrow a little at me in suspicion,  _ oh fuck he’s onto me _ , I panic. "But you know what, you’re totally right! I should go spend time in the cryo-pods like you said, I'll feel better, I'm going to go do that right now, actually!" I quickly skirt my way around Keith, who merely follows me with his eyes as his expression grows more and more endearingly confused.

“Uh... okay…?” He mumbles and I wave as I rapidly open the door, "Great talk, Keith!"

I have never fast-walked with such lack of subtlety in my  _ life. _

_ Wow I need to get my fucking shit together. Holy fuck. Where did those gay feelings come from? _ I turn the corner, and head towards the infirmary.  _ The aliens are out of there now, so one should be open- Wait. The alien prisoners. Allura said we should see them off. Fuck. Well, I’m sure they’ll understand, I’m injured and all, I’m completely not ready to see them off anyway, I’m in my underwear and all- _

As I turn the corner towards the hallway, I see the alien prisoners walking away towards the hanger with Allura, Shiro, and Pidge at the head, still in their paladin armor.

"Oh, hello, Will, we were just about to see our guests off into a ship so they can finally start heading home." Allura catches sight of me at the end of the hall, and waves me over.

_ Aww,  _ **_fuck._ **

_ Okay, no getting out of seeing the prisoner’s off. In my underwear.  _

**_God,_ ** _ can this day get much worse? _

_ It's fine, they're literal aliens, they'll never know I'm just in boxers… They’ll never know, just act natural.  _ I approach the group, accompanying them to the hanger.

The aliens turn to regard me and I fight not to blush at the attention.  _ They’ll never know, just act natural.  _ Tha alien with the olive green skin, four arms, and three eyes, the one who can speak English, regards me with a strange expression, then again I’m not quite sure how to gauge an emotion to an alien’s face because, you know, they’re  _ aliens.  _ Yet they in particular are looking at me funny, the others don’t seem too interested.  _ God, my chest fucking hurts. _ Several pairs are speaking to each other with such a variety of dialects that it makes my head spin- "You are injured, Paladin. Was there a battle?" 

I blink and look over at the alien with wide eyes. I’m intimately aware of how Allura, Shiro, and Pidge are now closely staring at me,  _ I’ve got to throw them off the scent, fuck.  _ I brush the alien off as politely as I can with a slightly forced smile, "Oh, don't worry, I always look like… act like… this." I pause and meet the alien's gaze.  _ Should I look at the eye on the stalk? Or the eyes on its face? _ Quickly I move on and raise an eyebrow at the alien with a curious gaze, "How did you learn to speak our language?"

The alien chuckles softly, "I don’t know what language it is that you speak. That’s why I have a transladazine." The alien points to its narrow throat with a slender, long finger. I blink and follow its hand, but nothing seems amiss… until I see the softest of green lights, hidden but visible beneath their skin.

I raise an eyebrow, "What's that?"  _ Ow. Breathing. Come on, chest, give me a break, we’ll go to the healing pods in a minute. _

"It is a translator.” The alien seems more than happy to answer, one of their sets of hands shifting the gray, ragged shawl on their shoulders while the other set’s hands are clasped together before them, “No matter what tongue I speak, you'll hear it in the language you'll best understand it.” The alien glances behind them at the trailing aliens, who now speak in a much softer register while also closely examining the alien with curiosity. They smile, almost to themselves before they turn back to face me, "I was a diplomat before I was captured by the Galra. I had the surgery in order to better communicate with other species."

I blink in surprise, my mouth partially open, "That's amazing!”  _ Ow. Breathing.  _ I pause, raising a finger with an additional question, “But wait, how are you able to understand me, then, if it’s just a translator?"

"The transladazine has connectors inside of my brain," The alien explains, pointing one of its three fingers to the base of its neck as we turn a corner in the hallway, "It is laced along my spinal cord, and is attached to the language processing part of the brain, so your words are essentially already translated by the time I hear them."

I stare, completely thrilled as questions roll out like a red carpet, "That is so cool! How widely available is this technology? Is it difficult to have the surgery? Is it painful? What’s it like? Is it any different than how you perceived language before? How well does it translate colloquial terms or slang?” I suck in breath sharply when I run out but I immediately regret it as the pain in my chest makes black spots dance before my vision. Shiro catches my gaze from beyond the alien and I quickly grin at him, returning to the moment at hand and forcibly shoving aside the pain, “Can you imagine how revolutionary this would be when interacting with different people on Earth?" 

The alien chuckles, or at least I think they chuckle, at my enthusiasm, a slight smile on their lips. Their teeth are like a shark's, razor sharp, with many rows. "I am unsure if I am the best to answer your questions, but if you happen to come to my home planet, I would gladly introduce you to the linguist engineers." The alien answers helpfully. 

I can't stop the grin that spreads across my face, "Absolutely, thank you! I’d love to hear more about it."  _ OW. BREATHING. _

Pidge, who walks beside me, pops in with a sparkle in his eye, "I wonder what the technology is made of! Probably something similar to heart valve materials and replacements like back on Earth, but I didn't think it was possible to implant... well, anything on a brain without damaging it!" As Pidge speaks, each word follows the last faster and faster until his tongue is practically tripping over itself. He glances over at me with wide, enthusiastic eyes as a big grin stretches across his face, the first one I think I’ve ever seen, "I wanna meet these engineers, too!"

I raise an eyebrow with a coy grin, "Field trip?"

Pidge pumps a fist in the air, "Heck yeah!" We both break into grins and fist-bump. Shiro laughs at us, and I realize that both he and Allura had stopped speaking to listen to us.

"Try not to get too excited, we do have to save the universe before we can go on any field trips." Shiro says in a teasing tone, his eyes twinkling in a good natured manner.

I roll my eyes at Shiro, "Come on,  _ dad _ , it'll be educational! Besides, isn't diplomacy one of the core values of being a Paladin anyway? I think having technology like that would be extremely important for meeting the inhabitants of other planets, it’d be well worth learning more about at the very least!"  _ Ow. Breathing. Fucking hell, can you just chill for a second? We’re going to the healing pod in a minute!  _ I look at Shiro stubbornly, with my hands on my hips, but Allura and Pidge are oddly silent beside me, neither of them appearing willing to back me up. Pidge’s eyes are really wide, though, like I just suggested we hike up Mt. Everest.

Shiro blinks at me before he speaks with a raised eyebrow, "Did you just call me dad?"

I blink back at him as Pidge chokes on a laugh, covering his face with his hands as he chokes out,  _ "Oh-my-god-you-totally-did." _

I stammer, and I can feel the blood rising to my face, “I- I didn’t mean- it’s just because-" 

Shiro quickly cut me off by resting his hand to my shoulder, "You're fine, Will. I think it's kind of sweet you see me as a father figure."

I feel my soul leave my body as Pidge practically dies in laughter. As Shiro’s hand falls I grumble under my breath, _ "Dear Lord, please grant me the sweet release of death." _

Allura's eyes widen, "Will! You are a valuable part of the Paladins, we could never defeat Zarkon without you! Don’t despair!"

I look at Allura with a completely dumbfounded expression before I realize she thought I was speaking literally. I bite the inside of my cheek before I glance over at Pidge for help.  _ How am I supposed to explain the intricacies behind dark humor having a strong basis on suicidal tendencies that aren’t necessarily reflective of actual mental health? _

Pidge is no help, he merely shrugs at me with a shit eating grin, "Yeah, Will, you're a valuable part of the Paladins!"

I shoot him a glare, which only causes his grin to widen, "I can drop kick you, don’t try me."

Shiro clears his throat with another hearty laugh, patting my on the back as we turn another corner towards the hanger, "Alright, alright, you two can fight later once we see to it that our friends get home safe."

As we approach the hanger, Allura takes it upon herself to explain to the gathered aliens about the Voltron Coalition, encouraging them to tell their home planets about us and to contact us when they arrive. I watch as she speaks but I keep zoning out too much to listen to her words. Every piece of her shows her passion, confidence, and leadership, from her gaze to her posture. She’s just... powerful. She is always so composed, she seems so open and approachable… but I feel like I know nothing about her. Yet she seemed to know me well enough to know that I'd be a suitable White Paladin.  _ I'm going to change that, later. I should ask her if she has one of those transladazines or whatever the alien said, because she speaks English too! As did the Galra, Commander Sendak, in fact.. Maybe all Galra have it. Altean and Galra civilizations seem to be more advanced than Earth’s, and if the Galra are conquerors, I'm certain that they'd want to have translators in their soldier’s bodies so that the people they conquer know they are being conquered? I’ve got so many questions. _

Not speaking for a while eases the pain in my chest, or perhaps it was all the talking I just did that aggravated it so much that the silence makes it hurt less in comparison. When we arrive to the hanger, I spot Coran preparing a small Altean vessel, about three times the size of the pod Keith and I took to get the White Lion what felt like  _ years  _ ago now. He hops out of the pilot's chamber once he spots us, wiping off his hands, "The ship's prepared, Princess!" 

Behind me I hear quick footsteps as the aliens approach the vessel, loading on board up the ramp and into the main cabin. I glance back to see Keith, Hunk, and Lance walking in together, appearing rather jovial like they just watched a comedy together.  _ Thank fuck, looks like Lance and Keith are finally getting along. Or, at least, they don’t seem to be at each other’s throats right now so that’s a blessing.  _ The diplomat, the one with the transladazine, stops just at the foot of the ramp, turning back to look at us with kind, gentle eyes.

Lance waves a hand casually, "Good luck out there!"

The alien bows slightly before us, all three of its eyes closing in a reverent manner, "Thank you all for everything. We never dreamed that we would see our families again… But you gave us hope.” They pause as their eyes swivel to the spacecraft, and after a moment’s pause they return to gaze at us almost fondly, “You gave the universe hope." 

I feel a genuine smile stretch across my lips as the alien turns and boards the ship. Coran activates a switch against the wall and the main hanger doors open, the slowly lowering post-afternoon, pre-evening sunshine pouring into the room, casting us in a soft orange. I have to hold a hand over my eyes as the light’s reflection off the rolling ocean below shines in my eyes, the hanger filling with a graceful breeze that spills through the hanger doors. We all wave as the ship fires to life, hovering in the air for a moment before it peels through the air and out of the hanger, out of sight within the minute. I’m aware of the others breaking off to go about their business, but I find my feet stalling as I stare at the glistening ocean even despite the growing ache in my chest; the sky’s already morphing into the color of an apricot and casting the white walls of the hanger in shades of coral and salmon with the setting sun and it makes me wonder at how the fuck this  _ isn’t  _ Earth. Hunk walks up to stand next to me as Coran flips the switch again on his way out, the doors slowly sliding shut to block out the view. I try not to pout about it, but now knowing that it’s the last sunset I’ll see on Arus I can’t help but feel a little nostalgic.  _ We’re going to be in space for who knows how long after this. Who knows how long it’ll be until I get to see another sunset?  _

"Hey, Will?” Hunk asks with a raised eyebrow, and I pull out of my thoughts momentarily as I glance over at him. Hunk’s gaze flickers downward at my feet before he meets my gaze sheepishly, “... Are you in your underwear?" 

I flounder, feeling my entire face go red as I quickly look away at anywhere  _ but  _ his face, "Thank you for at least waiting to say something until the aliens are gone!” I move to cross my arms across my chest but immediately the angry bruise beneath flares at the touch. I grumble and jerk my hands to my sides instead,  _ I didn’t realize how often I did that until I can’t _ , “I was in a rush!" I reply sharply, the burn in my cheeks is migrating to my neck and I’m  _ not  _ a fan.  _ My legs are suddenly very chilly.  _

"To get here?" Hunk asks with a raised eyebrow, a bit in disbelief. 

I merely laugh uncomfortably, "I'm just gonna ... ah... go get some pants, now. See you later, Hunk." I turn and leave, Hunk’s hearty laughter echoing in the hanger behind me.  _ Ow. Breathing sucks. _

I head back towards the infirmary. Standing around and walking and talking has made the pain in my chest worse as it radiates outward in less dull pulses, like my heartbeat’s bass is turned way up. I walk back into the infirmary, biting my lip as I stare at the white podium standing in the center.  _ Okay. I can figure this out. I’m smart, I got this.  _

I tap the white panel and the holographic screen rises. It’s divided in half, one side is in English and the mirror side is in Altean, and I almost want to jump for joy.  _ Allura and Coran have translated the panels. God, I fucking love them right now.  _ The screen has a long list of options, ‘Stasis’, ‘Energy Infusion’, ‘Healing Facilitation’... I glance down the list but the closest thing I see that’s close to what I need is ‘Healing Facilitation’ so I press the button. I leap out of my skin as a loud hiss of steam escapes from the floor to my left, one of the circles in the floor rising to reveal one of the cryo-pods. I didn’t really realize it when I was with the aliens before, but as I see them lying open and empty I’m reminded of when I rolled up in here with the team and first met Allura and Coran, awakening them from their thousand year stasis. That was… six days ago. Almost a week, not even a full week, and already how things have changed. We were absolute  _ strangers  _ and now we’re… well, not that. And we have more time to grow into more than not strangers, so that’s cool. 

I approach the cryo-pod and step into it. Inside there aren’t any buttons, it’s just a hollow, round pod, and as I turn to face forward immediately a glass shield falls before me, and bursts of air invade me from all sides. It smells minty and cold, but the air itself isn’t cold, but it feels like how chewing mint gum while drinking water tastes. After a few seconds I grow drowsy, my head falls back and leans against the back of the pod and fall into a deep sleep.

This isn’t quite a dream… but this isn’t reality. I swear I'm aboard a Galra ship, with cold, glowing yellow eyes staring down at me and chanting  _ ‘the weak link, the weak link, the weak link’.  _ I can tell this isn’t a dream, I also can tell this isn’t reality either, I’m still at the Castle, but it’s like I’m watching someone else’s dream while within a cocoon of minty warmth. The reality wavers, the yellow eyes melt into the blackness and I can hear is Shiro's voice,  _ "I'm just so frustrated, I wish I could just  _ **_remember_ ** _. I’m done with these terrifying bits and flashes at the worst times, but… Each memory I suddenly get just make me wonder… wonder what they  _ **_made_ ** _ me. I'm afraid of what’ll happen when they see what I do when I look in the mirror, and I’m not sure how long that’ll take. They deserve a better Black Paladin than me."  _ I turn towards his voice, I want to tell him  _ no, Shiro, you’re the best Black Paladin we could’ve asked for,  _ but everything is dark, and his voice fades like a slipping of silk against the floor off a stage. 

I rub my eyes as the glass door rises, a long yawn is ripped from my lungs and as I step out of the pod my toes and fingers tingle like they were asleep, too. I feel like I just took the most wonderful nap in the world, like a full body version of when you get a really good stretch. I roll my shoulders and take a deep, deep breath. There’s no pain, not even a single twinge that I ever was injured.  _ Nice.  _

_ Now, how long have I been in here? _

I walk out of the infirmary, a little sluggish as I run a hand through my hair.  _ I should go put some fresh clothes on and check the time- _

"Oh, Will! There you are, I've been looking all over for you!" I blink and turn towards Coran’s overly peppy voice as he flounces forward, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and guiding me down the hallway before I can even utter a greeting, "The Arusians are arriving soon for the welcome, you need to get in your armor and meet with the others in the Great Hall!" 

He pats my back as I struggle to keep up with his rapid speaking, "I, what? Arusians? It’s time for the party already?"

"Yes!" Coran answers helpfully, and when Coran releases my shoulders I realize it’s because he, quite literally, has led me to my doorstep. I blink at him where we stand at the door to my room as Coran waves his hands towards the door in a rushing manner, "Get ready quick! You won't want to miss out!"

"Alright... Uh.. Thanks, Coran, I'll be down in a minute." I smile sheepishly as I retreat to my room, listening to Coran’s bustling footsteps echo down the hall. I let out a soft breath.  _ Well, guess there goes my fresh clothes plan.  _ I move to pull on my Voltron armor from where I'd left it on the floor from earlier today, my muscles slowly awakening with the movement.  _ Wow, I do feel a whole lot better. Thanks Keith… even though you induced the strongest gay panic I’ve had in some time. But enough of that, let’s stuff that away to the Not To Be Talked About box. _

As I pull the top half of the flight suit over my shoulders the chain around my neck tugs against the fabric. I roll my shoulders into the flight suit and yank the White Lion’s stone out from beneath before it gets caught and breaks the chain. I glance down at its shimmering surface, the reflection of Kevin’s filigree wings in the overhead white lights, my thoughts floating idly to that time in the cave, when I opened my closed fist and found the stone in my palm. Kevin hasn’t moved, not even once, since that first day when he was created and he sent that message to my parents. If Keith wasn’t constantly present wrapped around the pendant I would’ve thought it was just one really intense dream or some shit. 

“Hey, Kevin?” I murmur sweetly, but nothing happens. The stone remains still, and the small dragon curled around it doesn’t even blink. It hasn’t worked before, but might as well check. I’ve worn the stone around pretty off and on, putting it on when I see it but it hasn’t really done anything weird since that first day so it’s kind of fallen on the back burner of things to think about. I tug on my chestplate and my armguards, leaving my helmet behind because  _ it is _ just a party, not training in our lions, and we don’t need our coms when we’re all in a room together anyway. I head out of the room, the White Lion’s stone clanking against the metal chestplate annoyingly as I turn and shut the door. I grab it and habitually stuff it just underneath in a perfectly stone-sized pocket between the plate and the flight suit beneath it, and although the sharp edges of Kevin’s wing are kind of uncomfortably at certain times it’s better than just having it swing everywhere. 

I head towards the Great Hall, which I’ve learned is the huge area with the double tiered balconies that we initially entered when we first arrived on the Blue Lion. The closer I get, the louder the clamor of voices become, a lot more voices than if it was just the team, voices I don't recognize.

"The monster fell from the sky!" A noise of awe follows. I raise an eyebrow as I turn the corner, spitting me out into the back of the room, by the front door of the Castle. As I step out into the shadowy floor, I realize that I’m the back of a rather large audience, all attention focused up the stairs that lead into the rest of the case. 

They're absolutely adorable, they - Arusians I assume - have these little eyes and noses like mice with horns like rams curled around the bases of their necks. They're about as tall as a large dog and have stubby fingers and toes like babies do, with skin tones that vary from a heavy brown to a light pink to a deep blue. All in all, they kind of look like funky little weirdos, _  but I love them. _

_ And there sure are a whole lot of them crammed in here.  _

The crowd of Arusians have their gazes fixed to the stairs at the front of the hall, where there appears to be some sort of show going on. There are a handful of Arusians stacked on top of each other at the top of the stairs facing another stack of Arusians, one stack clothed in black and violet, but each of the six Arusians that make up the other stack are wearing our colors: red, blue, yellow, green, black, and white. At the base of the stairs I spy the others, looking exactly like teachers at a student assembly because they’re so tall much taller than the Arusians, Pidge included. I stay in the shadow at the back of the crowd, leaning against the pillar that holds up the overhead balcony so I don’t interrupt the performance.

"It was an epic battle, and Voltron was victorious!" A larger, fatter Arusian cries dramatically from the top of the stairs behind the stacked Arusian performers. From here I can see that he has these funky little stalks, like a mustache, but they twirl and wiggle like they’re sentient worms just sitting as a part of his face. He’s holding something to his throat, something small and Altean, but I can't make out what it is from here, but by deduction I can assume it’s some sort of translator thing that allows the larger Arusian to speak English. The stacks of Arusians waver. _Wow,_ _they’re re-enacting the battle against the robot today, that’s so fucking cute._ The Arusians in our colors, representing Voltron, make little pipsquealing cries and lunge forward towards the Arusians in black and purple, but they all end up falling over instead. I clap a hand over my mouth to desperately contain my laughter, as the sea of Arusians before me are watching the performance with rapt attention and dead silence.

The leader clears his throat, "No, I said  _ Voltron _ was victorious!" The Arusian Voltron actors quickly stack back on top of each other, and then launch out to knock over the other stack, like in a chicken fight but on land. I snort, covering my mouth to keep myself from laughing as the Arusians cheer enthusiastically when the purple clad Arusians fall dramatically to the floor, followed by each actor clambering off of each other and bowing, concluding the performance.

Allura steps up beside the larger Arusian and speaks in a diplomatic tone, "Thank you, your Majesty, for that wonderful production!" She was out of my line of sight with the Arusians stacked on top of each other but now that she’s in full view I can see that she’s practically glowing from her enthusiasm, wearing the dress we found her in rather than her armor. Her hair is down as well, a set of braids that frame her face wrapped around her head into a larger braid down her back that rests in the waves of silver, so in other words she appears absolutely radiant. She turns to the populace of the Arusians, projecting her voice in the atrium, "It saddens me that we must leave tomorrow, but we must continue our battle with Zarkon, and spread peace throughout the universe!" The Arusians make soft noises among the crowd before me as Allura turns to the larger Arusian who was narrating the performance, holding out a small Altean device to him, "Your Highness, please accept this gift. It will allow you to contact us any time that you need help." 

The King of the Arusians, apparently, takes the device with wide eyes, peering down at it with wide eyes. After a moment he cradles it with reverence like it’s the baby Jesus as he smiles brightly at her endearingly. Allura smiles back in return as she states, "Arus will be the first planet in the Voltron Alliance!”

The King holds up the device like it’s an Olympic medal, calling to his subjects, "Hurrah!" 

The Arusians raise their little fists and cheer, and as if on queue rather joyous festive music begins to play, echoing softly in the cavernous room. I see now that the music is coming from little drummers that line the opposite side of the atrium, sitting on the floor and slapping their hands on wooden blocks that make surprisingly melodious tunes. Cool, but also  _ precious.  _

The sea of Arusians begin to turn to one another and speak in squealing tones, like herds of baby pigs, and I figure the milling and conversational part of the party has begun. I spot Pidge and Shiro peeling away from the collection of Paladins at the base of the stairs. Pidge disappears into a doorway off to the side with Rover at his heels and Shiro’s weaves through the mingling Arusians in my direction, aiming for the front doors that yawn wide open, allowing in the gentle breeze that sweeps across the floor of the atrium. The darkness that lies beyond reminds me heavily of home, the fresh rush of air against my skin makes me want to wander the woods so I turn in the other direction to prevent myself from getting sad and instead make my way over to where Keith, Lance, and Hunk stand in the middle of the floor talking to one another. Coran stands a ways away from them, speaking to a trio of Arusians with a glass at hand, but I can’t imagine it to be a conversation I’m eager to listen in on.

"We outta get something like that." Hunk says as I approach, to which Lance responds with a raised eyebrow, one hand on his hip with the other holding an Altean glass, like a swinger from the 1920s, "Like what?"

Hunk smiles, waving his hands enthusiastically, "You know, like a cheer, a team cheer that we do."

Lance touches his chin thoughtfully as he makes a pensive noise, “Hmm.. Yeah, okay, how about uh…” Lance cocks an eyebrow as I see the light-bulb flash in his mind, speaking animatedly with his free hand, "I say 'Vol', you say 'Tron!' Vol-?" 

I can't stop myself from chuckling derisively. "Lance, we're the defenders of the universe, not a summer camp." I tease, to which Lance curls his nose at me.

Keith merely stares at Lance with a look of endearing befuddlement, "Uh... Vol-tron?"

Lance blinks at Keith for a solid minute before shaking his head, "No, no no no, the cheer includes the instructions. I say 'Vol,' and you say...?" Lance points to Keith with a  _ now you _ expression, but Keith merely continues to blink at him with a look like Lance just tried to explain to him microeconomic theory. His gaze flickers to the side, his head craning forward as he raises eyebrow, "... Vol-tron?"

Lance is silent for a moment, staring at Keith without a change in expression before he takes a sip from his drink, "We'll work on it." However as soon as Lance takes a sip from the glass he makes an awful expression, shaking his head around and dancing from foot to foot like he's choking. Coran raises an eyebrow where he stands a bit away and Lance notices, swooping down upon him and gesturing to the glass, "Ugh, Coran, what _ is _ this?!"

Coran answers in a matter of fact tone, sipping his own drink, “It's nunvill, the nectar of the gods!"

Lance curls his nose, shuddering, "It tastes like hot dog water and  _ feet! _ "

"Yeah!” Coran replies enthusiastically, “Makes a wonderful hair tonic as well." Coran dips his fingers into the beverage and smooths it into his mustache, giving it a nice greasy glow as Lance merely watches in horror.  _ Oh now I wanna try it.  _ With a wicked grin I go looking around to see if I can't get my hands on this hot dog nectar-of-the-gods water and when I find one on a platter nearby I return to the others, who are now prodding Lance as he merely stares at the space Coran was a moment before in horror. I hold out the glass to Keith and Hunk, unable to stop myself from grinning wickedly, "I dare you to drink it."

"Ugh, God, no, he had me at hot-dog water." Hunk makes a disgusted noise, and turns with Lance at hand, who merely follows in a daze as he recovers from the sight he witnessed. Keith, however, smirks, one eyebrow raised in such a manner that my heart practically stops, "You're on, but only if we drink it at the same time."

"You're  _ so  _ on." I grin wickedly, pointing back at the table where the drink came from. Keith moves through the crowd around us to get his own cup. Idly I look around at the field of Arusians, who seem perfectly happy mingling among themselves in their piping little voices but behind me I spot Shiro speaking to Coran. I can barely hear snippets of their conversation from where I am, so I shift a little closer to eavesdrop.

"- It doesn't seem safe." Shiro has his arms crossed, leaning against the pillar that spills into the entrance hall of the Castle. 

Coran waves him off, "Oh, these Arusians won't hurt anything...!" He watches as one of the hovering platters nearby is being used like a seasaw by Arusian children, or at least that’s what I figure because they are as big as chihuahuas, before he adds, "... Much. Besides, it's only fair to let them see the inside of the Castle that's been sitting on their planet for so long!"

Shiro's eyebrows are drawn together in worry, "But who knows when Zarkon will attack again?" He pushes himself off the wall, saying something about a perimeter check as I notice Keith making his way back over to me with a cup at hand.

"You ready?" I smirk challengingly, holding my cup aloft as Keith taps our cups together with a soft clink. 

"Drink up." He answers with a competitive glow in his eyes.

I down the glass like a shot but that is absolutely  _ not  _ how you should drink an alien beverage as I immediately choke, coughing as horrible hot dog juice comes out of my nose and all over the front of my uniform as I struggle not to inhale the stuff, tears in my eyes,  _ hot dogs and feet just begin to describe this awful concoction, holy fuck, all I can smell right now is raw meat and festering, rotten leaves. _ I wipe my face on my sleeve, coughing more as Keith erupts in laughter, the kind that shakes your shoulders and keels you over. I can't help but join him once I am once able to breathe again, coughing intermittently as Keith smacks my back to help me get it out of my system.

"Jesus Christ, all I can smell right now is like... a locker room that’s also a meat locker. That is  _ so nasty!  _ Why is Altean food so gross?” I cough again, pounding my fist against my chest as I try to pull myself together, “Oh my  _ god _ , that's just... nngh..." I complain as Keith continues to die in laughter. His face is entirely red, with tears in the corners of his eyes.

"Oh m-... Ha! You snorted it!" Keith's laughter slowly dies down as he hold out the cup, raising a challenging eyebrow at me, "Now I don't know if I even wanna try it!"

I open my mouth in shock and immediately I push his cup to his lips with both hands, “Hey! You said we'd drink at the same time, you dickhead, you better drink that shit  _ right now- _ ”

Keith laughs and pushes my arm away, holding the cup out of my reach, "Nuh-uh, can't make me."

I narrow my eyes at him challengingly, "Oh, it's  _ so on _ ." I lash out with one hand to get the cup to distract him before quickly switching to the other side, catching Keith off balance as I attempt to wrestle the cup from him but he recovers faster than I was prepared for. He yanks the cup back and instead we both get the hot-dog water nectar of the gods dumped all over us both.

Keith is crying now he's laughing so hard, doubled over as I give him the most intense death glare I'd ever given in my entire life. “You better count your days, Kogane.” I growl playfully, “This isn't over.” 

Keith wheezes in laughter as I turn away to head outside to squelch the hot dog water out of my Voltron suit before I smell like it forever. _  Nasty ass fucking Altean food, first that God awful bruised avocado nasty ass thing this afternoon, now this hot dog water… Is Coran trying to poison us? _

Once I'm able to get most of the stench out, I return back inside. Keith is nowhere to be seen, probably to get the hot dog water off himself. Pidge is still MIA as is Shiro, but I do spot Hunk with Lance, who appears to have recovered from the nunvill, speaking amicably with one another. I make my way over, and as I approach they pause and give me a questioning look, to which I make a disgusted face at them, "That nunvill? Literally, disgusting."

Lance shrugs, looking down at his half empty cup, "I don't know, I guess we should get used to this space juice. Who knows when we'll get back home again?"

Hunk picks up what looked like a marshmallow on a stick off of a wandering tray, "Yeah, if ever."

Lance blinks at him with a look that’s suspiciously blank, "What do you mean?"

Hunk furrows his eyebrows, munching on the marshmallow which apparently was not a marshmallow, since it crunches like chips as he speaks, "I mean, if this Zarkon guy has been ruling for a thousand years, how long do you think it'll take us to fix it? You know, if we live." 

_ Jesus Christ, Hunk, that’s pretty fucking dark. You’re the last person I’d thought to say that. _

Lance frowns down at his cup, "Right. That." 

I blink in shock and hold my hands up, "Yikes, kids, can we lighten up back here?"

Hunk attempts to change the subject, "Hey, what do you think the chances are of us landing on a nacho planet?"

He picks up another nearby marshmallow stick, munching on it happily as Lance touches his chin, a far away look in his eyes, "Well, there's only one planet with Veradera Beach! The pizza shack looking over the water, and the garlic knots, and my mom's hugs..." Lance's eyes glisten, and I watch his bottom lip wobble as he suddenly turns away, his voice cracking, "I'm sorry, I think this nunvill is getting to me. I gotta go." He walks away so fast that I don’t even have a chance to say a word, taking the steps two at a time at a hurried pace, and I can see in the way his shoulders jerk that he’s sniffling. Hunk and I watch him go, confused.

I've never seen him act that way before. 

"Should we go after him?" Hunk asks, raising an eyebrow at me curiously.

I match Hunk's expression, "I don't know, you've known him longer than I have. Was he homesick often at the Garrison?"

Hunk nods, his eyes cast downward, "It didn't get too bad most nights, but I've never seen him get emotional about it, like, when we're outside like this. It was only when we were going to sleep, or really late at night." Hunk is fingering the glass he's holding awkwardly, and his eyebrows are drawn together in worry.

I glance back at the stairs briefly before I turn to face Hunk, "I'll take care of him, you enjoy the party."

"Are you sure? He'll be okay, you don't have to-"

I shake my head, "I know I don't have to. I worked at a sleep-away camp for the last four summers, I can handle a little homesickness."

Hunk raises an eyebrow a little incredulously, "Well, you know, we are up in space, fighting against a big bag guy who has been ruling for a thousand years, with little to no hope of success, and may never go home. That's a little bit different from summer camp, just a little bit." He teases, showing how little it is between his forefinger and thumb.  _ Again, wow. Dark. _

I roll my eyes, "Everything's relative! Besides, who cares about the facts, this is about feelings, and you don't know! Maybe we'll be able to stop Zarkon within the week, anything can happen! Especially since we literally pilot sentient lions and fight bad guys with a massive alien robot." I joke, shrugging my shoulders as I speak with my hands.

Hunk chuckles, his gaze warm, "You know, you remind me of my older sister. She used to say stuff like that all the time."

"Really? Your older sister would talk about fighting bad guys with a massive alien robot and sentient space lions?" 

Hunk snickers at this, jostling the drink he holds at hand. I grin at Hunk tenderly and gesture to the stairs, "I better go follow him before he gets too far, I'll see you." I wave to Hunk and follow after where Lance had disappeared to and hope that he hasn’t gotten too far.

It takes me a good ten minutes wandering the empty halls of the Castle of Lions in search for him before I hear faint sniffling, while I pass by the bridge. I pause and peek inside, and in the middle, sitting with his back to the doorway in Allura’s circle with his feet hanging down into Coran’s workspace is Lance, with his elbows on his knees and his chin rested in his hands. I walk in quietly, and when he doesn't look up I make my presence known, "Hey, mind if I join you?"

Lance shifts a little to look at me without any change in expression, "Will, how far from Earth do you think we are?"

I sit down beside him, hugging one knee to my chest and let the other dangle as I think of an answer, peering out at the night sky through the windows, "When we first came here, Shiro said he didn't recognize any constellations so… I assume it's kinda far." The room is dark, the only light coming from the glowing Altean crystal overhead that powers the ship and the starlight coming in through the windows. It casts Lance and I in hues of blue, like we're underneath an aquarium.

Lance frowns as he looks out the window before us, out at the night sky, responding simply with a soft sigh and slump of his shoulders. I glance over at him before fixing my gaze back onto the glass, murmuring, "The stars are beautiful, you know? Even if they're not the same constellations, they're still… familiar."

Lance furrows his eyebrows, his eyes rather wide, "Do you ever think about how far apart planets are from each other? Back on Earth, when you looked at Mars... it's the closest planet to us, but it looked like any other star. If we were on Mars, right now, we wouldn't be able to tell which was Earth. We couldn't see... the blue oceans, the white clouds, green grass..." Lance trails off as his eyes grow distant, his arms wrapped around one of his knees as he stares off into the distance.

I nod, hugging both of my knees to my chest, "I know how you feel. I miss it a lot too." I touch my hand to the White Lion's stone hanging around my neck, the sharp points of Kevin’s wings keeping me grounded in the present moment.

"I know we're supposed to be brave Paladins and Defenders of the Universe, or whatever... But honestly? I just wanna go home." Lance's shoulders sink, his gaze never leaving the night sky. "I miss rain, and splashing in puddles."

I allow myself a slight smile, "There's no rain in Texas."

"There is in Cuba."

I glance over at Lance with a raised eyebrow, "I didn't know you were from Cuba." 

Lance nods, sighing softly under his breath, “Talking about my family just makes me miss them more. I’ve been able to ignore it for a while but…”

I nod, settling a hand between Lance’s shoulder-blades in a comforting manner, “Believe me, I get it.” He doesn’t move away from my touch so I figure it’s okay to keep my hand resting there, tenderly rubbing the ridge of his spine. We don’t speak for a few moments so I follow up with a murmur to help keep his mind off things, “How’d you end up at the Garrison, Lance?” 

Lance answers with a slight smile twinging on his lips, “I’ve always wanted to fly.” He glances over at me, his eyes twinkling like a river running over a bed of gems, “Like, when we’re in our lions, you know there’s this  _ rush _ , looking down and seeing the world spread before your feet… you’re the king of the world.” 

I proffer a slight smile, “Yeah, I know what you mean.” 

Lance sighs softly under his breath as he fixes his gaze down onto his hands, and after a moment he murmurs, “I don’t know, man. I signed up to go to the Garrison, but this? Saving the universe and stuff? Yeah, I get it, it’s important, but we just got thrown into it.” He waves his hands towards the glass, a deep sigh ripping from his lungs, “I didn’t sign up to be away for who knows how long. Now, all I wanna do is go home.”

Silence hangs heavy between us as I slide my hand to wrap around Lance’s far shoulder, squeezing it with my gloved hands. He seems to appreciate this, closing his eyes with a soft sigh but otherwise he doesn’t move. My heart aches seeing him like this, yet another piece of me, the selfish part, feels honored that I get to see it, that Lance is willing to open up to me like this. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this open and… vulnerable.  _ I need to make my words count.  _

“This whole defending the universe thing wasn't something we planned, that's for sure." I let my right hand rest on my knees, chewing on my lip as I speak in a lower register, "I remember, I got into  _ so _ many fights with my parents before about how I never wanted to go to space. I never had any interest in it, and I didn't care what they said to try and convince me otherwise... I just wanted to write and play my music. I like to create my  _ own _ worlds, not go looking for new ones." I feel Lance's gaze on me as I continue, a lump in my throat, "But... here I am. Doing the opposite of what I thought I always wanted. Literally, I’m in fucking  _ space… _ Yet I kind of feel like this is right." I turn to meet Lance's blue eyes, blue like the skies of Earth, "I never felt like I fit in anywhere, and even now I don't really feel like I 'fit' here, but I don't think it's because I'm not supposed to be here. I think it's because I'm meant to be different, to be something other than what was expected of me, or even what I wanted."

Lance bites his lip and looks at his feet, and I scratch his back in soothing circles, "Your family definitely misses you. I can see it, plain as day when I look at you, and I know that you came from somewhere with a house filled to the brim with love and care, so much so that it follows you like an afterglow… I think they were proud when you were a pilot at the Garrison, and I think they would be even more proud, knowing that you're  _ literally _ defending the universe."

Lance is quiet for a while, and I slowly let my hand fall to my lap, "I'm happy you're here, you know. You're funny, you're sweet, and I think you care, deeply, for everyone and everything, and that’s just so… courageous." The lump in my throat grows heavier, "I wish I was half as brave as you, Lance, but you do inspire me to try."  

Lance suddenly waves his hand at me incredulously in such a wild manner that it catches me off guard, "No way, you're so freaking brave! You never even flew before, you just freaking… had a dream,  _ literally, _ and followed it. That takes some serious guts, man! And when we were in space, in the Blue Lion? You took it in stride, you didn't let it phase you, you were just like  _ ‘Come on guys, let’s go through this big glowing hole in space, we got this’ _ ! That's just crazy, dude! I wish _  I _  was half as brave as you!"

I glance over and meet Lance's gaze, and I bump his shoulder gently with mine, "Then I'm glad we can both be here. To inspire each other.” Lance lets out a snort in laughter, and I glance over at Lance with a playful grin, “Zarkon better watch out, because the Sappy-Train is coming for him!"

Lance rolls his eyes, laughing in a surprisingly genuine way, "Oh yeah, that'll definitely do it. We'll topple him from his thousand year rule with kindness!"

I grin wickedly, speaking in a dark tone,  _ "The deadliest weapon."  _

We laugh for a moment, and I see in Lance's shoulders that he's much less tense than before.  _ Okay, counselor training has paid off. Pat myself on the back.  _ After a moment of comfortable quiet he meets my gaze and gestures to the door, "So, uh.. You wanna head back to the party and see if the nunvill’s any better with the aftertaste?"

"I doubt it, but only if you promise you’ll help me make Keith drink some." I grin, and Lance immediately snickers wickedly like an enthused imp, nodding enthusiastically.

Lance and I walk across Allura’s circle right as Rover enters, chirping in his usual manner as he floats by. I give him a passing wave as we walk towards the exit.

"Hey Rover!" Lance grins cheerfully, waving at the little robot as it passes, but as we step out of Allura’s circle I feel Lance pause just a step behind me. I turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow, "Coming?"

Lance's gaze is focused on the floor, like he's thinking a mile a minute, before he looks back at Rover with a mumble under his breath, "Where's Pidge?"

"Probably back at the party." I reply with a note of confusion, following Lance's gaze to Rover. He starts doing something I'd never seen before: his little blue lights on his sides begin flashing red at increasing intervals, like he's a metal detector and he’s getting close to metal. I have no idea what that could possibly mean, I’ve never seen it before. He’s flying up towards the crystal, his eye-spot fixated on it, and I wonder if he's scanning it for maintenance, or something? Could something be wrong?

Lance's eyes widen, and he suddenly whirls to me, "Will, look out!" I let out a cry of surprise when Lance tackles me, right as the room shakes with a massive explosion. My head hits the floor, and everything goes black.

\---

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and vague cries from somewhere far away as I come to. Everything is a little numb, it kind of felt like I have cotton in my mouth. I try to move, but as soon as my hands twitch the pain comes over me like a wave.  _ Holy fuck, my head- _

"Will! What happened?" A familiar husky voice, far too fucking loud for my liking, practically shakes my skull to pieces. I open my eyes. Keith's face wavering in front of me, like I'm looking at his reflection in a rippling pond. I close my eyes with a groan as I feel the hand on my shoulder tighten, probably trying to get me to get up, but _God I’m fucking tired._ _Where am I?_

"I don't know... Where…?” My tongue barely works, it’s taking all my energy to not fall asleep right now, I’m  _ tired _ …  _ Where was I before this? On the bridge, with Lance. We were headed back to the party when….  _

I sit up like I just got struck by lightning,  _ "Where's Lance?!" _

Immediately my vision swims, and I'm so close to throwing up that I have to cover my mouth, there’s a hand grabbing my shoulder to keep my steady. I feel something warm and wet on my gloves as they touch my lips, the room is so loud with a clamor that I can’t understand. As the nausea passes I pull my hand away from my mouth with a deep frown, but my vision’s still swimming. The room’s so dark, why is it so dark in here?  _ Where’s Lance.  _ There’s a soft blue light that’s thrown around like stardust, and it reflects off of something wet and shiny on my gloves.

The hand that grips my shoulder shifts and I see a shape kneeling beside me, and after a moment I hear the same voice, familiar and husky, rumbling with a tense tone, "Shit, your head is bleeding, Will." I blink over at Keith as he presses his hand against the back of my head, and immediate sharp, stabbing pains emanate where his gloves touch my head. 

"Ow, ow, that hurts!" I wave my hand at him but he brushes it off, I can vaguely hear him grumbling about applying pressure. The pain does one thing that’s helpful at least, as the room comes into sudden, sharp focus. 

The room is completely dark, the only light coming from crystal… crystals. The large crystal that hung over Allura's center is gone, and I realize now that the soft glow, the only reason I can see anything in the room at all, is because of the shards embedded into the glass walls, like stick-on glow stars. There are people in the room, multiple, Hunk, Pidge, Coran, Allura, and as I turn I see a figure kneeling a bit away from me… Shiro. He's closer to Allura’s circle that hung below the missing crystal, and cradling something in his arms…  _ someone. _

_ "Lance."  _ I whisper, and my heart wavers in my chest. I attempt to crawl forward as Keith grabs my shoulder, but I twist out of his reach, smacking his hands away. I feel like I’m gliding along the ground, I feel the remnants of crystal crunching between my hands and as I peer over Shiro’s shoulder my vision tunnels on Lance's face, dusty, with a cut on his temple. His eyes are closed, like he's asleep, and I have to close my eyes as another wave of nausea rocks into me.

Rover… Rover was flashing red, approaching the crystal. Lance somehow knew before I did, that Rover… Rover blew up the crystal. Rover was a bomb. And Lance saw it and then he…  

"He saved me." I whisper under my breath as I sit next to Shiro and Lance, resting a my hand on his chest. Shiro turns to look at me and I briefly meet his gaze. I can see my reflection in the black of his eyes, I look completely dazed. I feel sharp little pinpricks on the back of my hand, and as I glance down I see a small, silvery creature crawling down my arm and to my hand… Kevin? Yes, it’s Kevin, he’s come to life, his claws are digging into my gloves.  _ He hasn’t done this since that first day… Oh no, am I seeing things now?  _ Kevin leaps from my hand to Lance's hair, sniffing his eyelashes with worried chirps. Shiro follows my gaze and stares down at the little drake, who’s moved down to Lance’s neck, sniffing his skin like he’s looking for something.  _ Okay, maybe Kevin is real.  _ I still glance down at the White Lion’s stone to check and see that it is barren, almost naked without Kevin wrapped around it.  _ Is it glowing? Or is it just the minimal light reflecting off of it? _

"We have to get Lance and Will to the infirmary!" I hear Pidge's voice vaguely over my shoulder, and as the pain in the back of my head intensifies so too does my focus. I feel a hand press against the back of my head again, and I let out a soft gasp of pain as the sharp, stabbing feeling commences again with the touch. 

"Without the crystal, the Castle has no power!"  _ Allura. _ I look up to see her standing just in front of us, her eyebrows are drawn tight in worry, and her eyes are glued to the hole in the ceiling where the crystal once was.

Shiro furrows his eyebrows as he examines the wound on Lance's temple, "He doesn't look good." Kevin makes a chirping noise of worry where he sits on Lance’s face before he leaps back onto me and I feel the moonstone chain around my neck tighten as he attaches himself back to it. Lance looks so pale, and I can see that his breath is shallow.  _ What the hell can I do? I have to help him somehow, but the pods are useless without power, do we even have a first aid kit here? Do Alteans have a first aid kit? _

A voice calls from behind, a stranger’s voice that makes the stabbing pain in the back of my head worse, "Lion warriors! Our village is under attack! We need help!"  _ Must be the Arusian King. _

Keith grits his teeth in determination, and I realize then as he moves that his hand is still pressed the back of my head, "Let's get to the lions."

Allura shakes her head, her hands worrying the hem of her sleeves, "You can't! They're sealed in their hangers, there's no way to get them out without power." Allura looks at the floor, her breath coming out in a rush, "We're defenseless."

Behind me, the Arusian King’s voice is deeply wounded, “...Will you not help us?"

Keith sighs from beside me, "We'll help you, we just-"

"Nngh..." I turn my head so fast that I get a little motion sick when I hear the sound that escapes Lance’s lips. His eyes flutter open for no more than a second before they roll into the back of his skull almost immediately and close again, his breath making a horrible rasping sound. The chain around my neck jostles and I feel it tugging down, like a baby’s grabbing the stone and yanking on it. I glance down with a frown, but it immediately dies on my lips. The White Lion’s stone is… glowing. Definitely glowing. It’s soft, but in the darkness it’s like the glow of a phone on low brightness. Kevin had his claws on the underside,  _ he  _ was tugging on it, and now that I’m looking he merely stops and stares at me.  _ What the ever living... I have got to be massively concussed. Although, the pain in my head isn’t as bad as it was a minute ago, so maybe sitting up is doing me some good. _

"This is bad." Hunk’s voice trembles.

Coran barks in a surprisingly commanding tone from behind me, "We have to get a new crystal to get the Castle working again! … But to get a new crystal, we need a ship."

Pidge, who stands to my left, turns to them with a determined gaze, "The pod I was loading, we can use that! I left the bay door open." 

I furrow my eyebrows turning towards him, and surprisingly I don't get a rush of nausea this time as my voice cracks, "Pidge, why were you loading a pod?" __ I see movement just over Pidge's shoulder, and when I narrow my eyes at it a little blue light swivels in my direction. It's Rover. He's blue and whole and his robotic eye is flickering around with distressed beeping.  _ He should have been destroyed in the blast! _

Pidge shakes his head quickly, but he’s not looking at me,  "Will, we can talk about it more when you're not bleeding-"

Behind me Keith withdraws his hand to look at my head as I snap back, “Why were you preparing a pod, Pidge?” 

“Um… what the hell?” I glance back over my shoulder at Keith as his hand starts patting the back of my head, but this time there’s no sharp pains from his touch. I look at him incredulously as he pokes me, rather hard, in the back of the head, but it doesn’t hurt. It’s definitely annoying, though. 

“What’s the matter with you, quit it!” I smack at Keith’s hand, but he merely looks at me with a wide-eyed, stunned look. 

“You’re not bleeding anymore.” He answers with a quiet voice, like he can’t believe the words that are coming out of his mouth. I blink and experimentally run a hand from my neck upward along my hairline and up to my scalp, but there’s no pain. There’s nothing on my skin that even hints at a wound, but I do feel like the back of my head is drenched in sweat, like I just rest the back of my head in a sauna. I pull my hand back and I can see in the bare blue lighting that it’s slick and wet, but now I can see that it’s blood. But… there’s no wound... I blink down at the glowing stone hanging around my neck, its soft white light casting a shadow on the hollow of my throat and suddenly things begin to click into place.  _ And Kevin was pulling on it… pulling it towards Lance. _

I look up at Lance, and without even thinking I take the pendant off as the others refocus on the task at hand, "I can use the scanner on the pod to see if there is a Balmera nearby." Coran states in a weary tone and when I briefly glance over at him I see that he has a nasty bruise on his temple, "Hunk, you come with me, I'll need someone big to help me carry the crystal." 

I look down at the stone in my hand as they speak and wrap the chain around Lance’s neck, Kevin clinging to the bottom like a child clinging to its blanket. Shiro shifts beside me and when I look at him I see his gaze firmly planted on my hands, and with a slight movement of his left arm he lifts Lance’s head up, closer to me,  _ so I can put it on easier.  _ I rest the stone over his chest, and suddenly my energy wanes, like I just got unplugged at 50% battery. Frankly, I feel like I just survived an explosion; my body aches, and there's a dull throb in the back of my head, at least my head isn't bleeding anymore, but most importantly I think the reason why is because of this pendant… And right now, Lance needs it way more than I do.  _ How or why the pendant is able to do this can come later. Adapt and overcome. _

Kevin hooks himself around the stone and peers up at me with a strange sparkle in his eyes, and I quickly murmur, “Kevin, I need you to protect Lance. Can you do that for me?" Kevin stares at me for only a beat before he spreads his little silver wings completely around the stone, hiding the glow almost as a protective barrier. I tuck the stone into the hollow in Lance's suit as Shiro moves to cradle his head.

"I'll go see what's happening at the Arusian village." Keith’s voice growls in determination, and I can feel him rising to his feet where he was kneeling beside me. 

"I'll go with you, Keith.” Allura states with finality, her gaze flickering off to the side as she adds, “I brought this on the poor Arusians." I turn around to look over my shoulder at the others only to realize that Pidge, Hunk, and Coran have already gone.  _ Is Pidge going with Hunk and Coran to the thingy to get the new crystal? Why was he preparing a pod? _

Shiro looks over at me with a determined gaze, one hand under Lance's head to support him, "I'll stay here with Will and Lance to watch over the Castle." Keith's hand grips Shiro’s shoulder briefly before he turns with Allura and races out of the room.

There’s a beat of silence as Shiro meets my gaze, "You sure you're okay?"

"I will be." I answer with a soft breath yet I move to stand my legs start to shake, betraying me at the last second. Shiro holds out his hand and I grab it to help keep my steady, but as soon as I’m upright my legs seem to pull their shit together and stand perfectly well on their own. I let out a breath, and nod to Shiro to illustrate that I'm okay, and with his help we lift Lance's limp body off the ground. 

"Come on, let’s take him to the infirmary and see if they have any medical supplies." Shiro murmurs in a calm, yet commanding tone as I wedge my arms beneath Lance’s shoulder.  _ He is incredibly cool under pressure. Suppose you have to be to be a space commander.  _

"Sounds like a plan. Let's move." I answer with a determined gaze right Shiro lifts Lance out of my arms and onto his shoulders. I hold out my hands in preparation to catch Lance just in case before raising an eyebrow at Shiro, "You got him?"

Shiro nods curtly, supporting his weight evenly by draping Lance over his shoulder, "Yeah. You lead on, and keep an eye out for trouble. Whoever planted that bomb may be around here somewhere."

I furrow my eyebrows and stride out of the bridge. Without power the usual, white overhead lights are off, and the halls are eerily dark and quiet, like something out of a horror movie. I summon my bayard with tension rolling up my shoulders as I answer Shiro with a dark tone, "It was Rover, Pidge's Galra robot." 

Shiro raises an eyebrow at me, "No, it's couldn't have been. I was with it and Pidge all the way up until the explosion. And Rover was here just a moment ago."

I frown deeply as we stride down the dark hallway, engaging my lance fully and glancing over at Shiro with a sigh, "I know, but I know what I saw. If it wasn't him, where did this Galra bot that glowed blue like Rover come from?"

We turn the corner to the grand atrium, where the party was being held, on our way to the infirmary. The floor is barren with some glasses of nunvill emptied and lying on the floor in pools as the only indication of the party that was here. Apparently all of the Arusians left in a hurry, as they should.  _ Are the Galra here? Did they blow out the power so we couldn’t help the Arusians? Oh God, and now Keith and Allura are out there alone to face them, what manner of attack is it? I don’t hear gunfire or anything like that…  _

As we head across the atrium towards the infirm, Shiro suddenly freezes up halfway across the open middle of the hall. I turn back to look at him, and I see him staring wide-eyed at the open front doors of the Castle, bathed silver in moonlight. I follow his gaze and spot several figures approaching the Castle's wide open front doors.

Even from this distance, I recognize the face of the leader who broadcasted himself into the control room on our first day at the Castle, the commander of the Galra fleet that attacked us two weeks ago, specifically his one red, glowing eye and the daring cut of his ears along the side of his face like Wolverine’s chops. In his wake are 6 other armed invaders whose features I cannot distinguish in the shadows of the night, but I can clearly see the deep violet of the guns they hold at hand, and something large, the size of a small horse, glowing malevolently violet behind them, casting their shadows on the paved stones outside of the Castle.

Shiro swears under his breath, "Sendak." 

I hold my bayard aloft as Shiro rushes to the side of the room, propping Lance’s limp body in an upright sitting position at the base of a pillar, hidden from the doorway’s view but just barely. He turns to me with a frantic look in his eyes and immediately we sprint towards the approaching enemies together.

Five of these are robots, sentries. They have the same glowing purple accents that all Galra tech have, with wires cutting sleek along their forearms and connecting the joints of their limbs together. There are two actual Galra, Sendak and one other I'd never seen before. This Galra has the same type of pointed ears off to the side that meld into its cheekbone structure but they are thinner, trimmed like that of a lynx’s, and he has two glowing, yellow eyes and black serpentine pupils rather than the one like Sendak. He holds what looks like a leash which is attached to a massive purple crystal floating next to them on a levitation pad, the source of the bright violet light that coats the area. The biggest defining feature of all is that Sendak has a massive claw for a left hand, one that is about as big as I am, and a rotational cuff instead of an shoulder connecting the claw to Sendak. He has the same dark, confident expression as the day he told us to hand over the lions, serious yet grimly gloating.

He peers at Shiro and I for a brief moment, his expression mildly annoyed before he growls, "Stand aside."

Shiro's prosthetic arm begins to glow neon purple as he readies himself, snarling with the ferocity of a wild wolf, "No! You're not getting in!" I skim my fingertips along the long metal of my bayard as I eye the motionless sentries’ guns.  _ All I have to do is clench my fingers and I can shield us from their fire. I'm with you, Shiro.  _

Sendak's face is expressionless, his one yellow eye glowing like a cat with a trapped mouse, "Yes," He purrs with dark confidence, "I am." Without warning he twitches and his claw flies off of the glowing orb at the stump of his arm and towards Shiro like a rocket, a long stretch of neon violet light like Shiro’s hand connecting it to Sendak. Shiro gasps in surprise as it grabs ahold of him, yanking him forward towards Sendak.

"Shiro!" I yell and race after him, setting my jaw against the pounding in my chest as the claw releases Shiro on the ground in front of Sendak, only to raise in the air in preparation to crush him, a line of purple, electric energy between Sendak's still form and the moving claw.  _ It's like another embodiment of Sendak himself, he hasn't even moved! _

Shiro rolls out of the way just in time, the claw crushing the pavement in the space Shiro just was right as I’m within range. I let my hand slide to the far end of my bayard and sling it like a baseball bat, braining Sendak across the face with the blunt edge. He stumbles back in surprise but before I can regain my footing from the wild fling his massive prosthetic rises and backhands me with enough force to send my flying into the flowerbeds that line the walkway. Luckily I land among the plants, cushioning my fall, and I roll out of the blue and purple flowers with dirt clinging to my hair. I grip my bayard tightly as Shiro lashes forward at Sendak with his prosthetic, but before I can rise to my feet the other Galra surprises me, racing forward from where they stood guarding the strange crystal and slides across the pavement, kicking my staff out of my hands and sending it skidding away. I gasp and grapple after it in vain right as the Galra rolls onto me and pins its elbow firmly against my windpipe, pinning me to the ground. I choke and thrash as the clearing pulses with a might thrum like a crash of thunder. 

"I see you spent time with the druids." Sendak sneers, and I glance out of the corner of my eye to see him face to face with Shiro, their prosthetic fists pressing against the other in an attempt to overpower one another, "They do love to experiment." 

The Galra above me raises his hand over his head but before it can clench into a fist I dart my fist out from underneath his forearm on my throat and suckerpunch him in his. The Galra makes a strangled noise and falls off of me to the side, and quickly I scramble to my hands and knees and grab my bayard where it lays a few feet away. I try to rise to my knees but behind me the Galra grabs my right leg and yanks me backwards, knocking me back onto the ground. I twist about with my bayard at hand and lash out with the bladed end on pure instinct and am struck with a spray of something dark and slick. I kick myself away as the Galra makes a horrible screeching noise, falling onto his back and holding his face. I don’t look back or bother with him further, instead scrambling to my feet and sprinting as fast as I can towards Sendak while Shiro has him prone, their prosthetic fists trembling as they face off. I see Sendak’s serpentine pupil flicker to me as he adds, "Too bad you didn't get the latest model."

Suddenly, the prosthetic arm launches off of Sendak's body, slamming Shiro back inside of the Castle, the line of purple energy holding the two together trailing after him like a fishing line. I grab my bayard on both ends as the shield engages with a hum, jerking an arm forward and pulling the other back to strike out at Sendak with the bladed end. He jerks and steps backwards to avoid the blow and I pursue, jabbing with the other blade towards his hip but he dodges to the side with agility I didn’t account for. I twist about and thrust my arms out to shove him with the shield but before I get the chance I feel massive fingers grapple me from behind and fling me head over heels inside the Castle.

I let out a yell of surprise, somehow I have the mentality to deactivate my lance just before I collide against the floor, rolling several feet until Shiro grabs the back of my armor and hauls me to my feet. Surprisingly the fall didn’t hurt, I think it’s the adrenaline, I let out a breath of terror but just as I re-engage my bayard Shiro barks, “Move!” He shoves me hard towards the wings of the hall, and I tumble backwards until I fall on my back right as Sendak’s claw descends on the place we just stood, crushing the white floor like it’s nothing but tinfoil. Just beyond the dust I see Shiro, his prosthetic digging into the ground where he just dodged to the side himself. Launching behind the claw comes Sendak himself, using the trail of purple energy between him and his claw to yank himself forward like a ball and chain. Shiro grapples Sendak as he comes down and sends him flying over his head, using his own momentum against him. Adrenaline pumps through me as I rise to my feet to follow Shiro as he takes off after Sendak when a violet shadow tackles me down to the floor like a football player. I collapse onto the ground with the weight of the second Galra crushing on top of me, he’s too close pressed against me to use my lance effectively. I twist in their hold on me and grapple for the end of my staff to use the bladed end like a knife to bring down on their back but it’s too long, I’m too clumsy, and as I try to escape from the Galra’s grasp they jerk up and knock my staff from my hands  _ again _ . I swear and attempt to fling myself after it but their clawed hand grabs the back of my armor and shove me onto my stomach. I flounder, reaching for my bayard,  _ it’s right there, I just have to- _ The Galra’s boot steps on my hand, a sharp pain shooting up my arm between the cold metals. I cry out in pain and grab their ankle with my free hand to push them off when I feel something cold and sharp against the back of my neck-  _ a blade. _  I freeze as it touches the bared skin just beneath my hair.  _ It’s over. No, it can’t be, Shiro, Lance, I can't let him get Shiro and Lance! _

The Galra lifts his boot off of my hand and I feel the metal leave my skin, and before I can even consider why I seize upon the opportunity. I immediately roll onto my back, lashing out a wild punch at my attacker but the Galra deflects it easily, sweeping my arm to the side with a deft jerk. I lift my legs to kick him in the chest, the face,  _ anywhere _ where he stands over me when he cracks a sudden, hard punch right against my mouth. Iron, coppery blood wells in my mouth and my head knocks back against the floor, an immediate, radiating pain blossoming throughout my entire skull. I stare up at his face, it’s wavering as my vision swims but I can clearly see the deep gash across his face, just under his eye and across his sharp pointed nose to the other side of his face, but I swear he didn’t have four eyes before… I feel a clawed hand curling into my hair, and with a painful yank he steps over me and drags me across the floor. I let out a pained cry, struggling against his hold as best as I can as my vision fades in and out of focus, I feel something hot and wet dripping down my face. I grab at the base of my hair to lessen the pain of the pull, and I kick out at him with my feet frantically to break free, but he keeps himself well out of reach by keeping me faced backwards, towards the front door. Moonlight filters down to the unsettled floor as I’m dragged and I can see faint lines of smoke in the distance, beneath it a small nest of flame.

The Galra’s grip tightens, and with a harsh yank he drags me out in front of him, forcing me upright onto my knees and facing the swimming room in front of me, I vaguely see movement, flashes of violet light and the sparks of colliding metal,  _ Shiro.  _ I try to shake my captor’s grip off and rise when a black knife appears on the edge of my vision, a cold, sharp edge pressed against my throat. I suck in breath and immediately realize what’s happening, why the Galra’s keeping a firm grip on my hair and why he hasn’t just slit my throat yet as my vision finally snaps into focus. Shiro has his glowing hand at Sendak's throat, and Sendak has his claw just an inch from Shiro's chest, straining against each other at a stalemate. 

The Galra holding me suddenly shouts, his cold voice echoing in the dark, empty atrium, "Let him go, or your friend won't make it."

Shiro whirls to look over at me, and his gaze immediately widening.  _ No, not on my account, don't-  _

A distraction was all Sendak needed. In Shiro's hesitation, Sendak moves to avoid his glowing prosthetic against his throat and punches his claw forward, knocking Shiro onto his back. Shiro's head cracks sickeningly against the floor, and I let out a cry as his head lolls to the side and lies still.

"Shiro!" I scream and attempt to break free from the Galra that holds me but he steps on my feet, effectively holding me on my knees as the knife's edge presses closer against my skin. 

Sendak smiles in a gruesome manner, almost a satisfied sneer as he meets the other Galra's gaze above my head, "Voltron is ours."

I’m shaking in fury at my helplessness, staring at Shiro’s limp form, and I spit out the words with as much burning fire as I can manage around the blood in my mouth, "You’ve won nothing but enemies. You'll never have the lions!" The Galra's blade presses tighter against my throat, biting the skin. 

I feel breath on my neck, the Galra snarling with dark satisfaction in my ear, "Let those be the last words you ever say,  _ Paladin. _ "  _ No, this isn't it. I won't go down like this!- _

Sendak suddenly barks, "No.” The Galra’s grip on my hair tightens and I wince, he’s looked up at Sendak as he smiles with that same, dark confidence, “... Not yet. I want them to witness our victory, first.” He turns his gaze behind us, towards the front doors as he orders, “Bring them all to the bridge."

Three sentries move from behind me to lift Shiro, and when I hear him groan in response an immediate sigh of relief rips from me.  _ At least he's alive, thank God _ . To my right I can see the rest of the sentries, and as I follow where they're headed I see Lance, propped up unconsciously with his back to the door where we thought he'd be hidden, but from here he’s completely out in the open; we didn’t account for them making it inside. I struggle against the Galra's grip as he yanks me to my feet.

"Wait!" I turn to look at them as the blade digs into my skin, but I ignore it as I quickly flicker my gaze at the sentries then to the Galra. "Please, if you have any semblance of mercy, tell them to leave my friend alone! He's hurt!"

The Galra's yellowed eyes shift to peer at Lance to our right, dark blood drips from the deep cut in his face and down his face like horrible warpaint. He merely smirks, he has fangs that are tainted the same dark maroon as his blood, "Oh, don’t worry. You all will receive our mercy soon." I tense as the sentries lift Lance's body up without any decorum or gentleness and the Galra grasps my arms and holds them pinned behind my back. His blade moves from my throat to my spine, where it prods me as he cuffs my hands together with something cold and hard. Terror lodges in my throat as the knife in my back presses a little bit harder and the Galra barks, "Walk."

I curl my lip, shaking in fury, but I’ll be  _ damned  _ if I’m going to make this easy for them, so I drag my feet at a glacial speed. The Galra doesn't like that much; he shoves me forward and I nearly fall over. So instead he practically hauls me down the hall by the back of my armor. My boots slip and slide on the ground as I try to find purchase but the Galra keeps dragging me along too fast for me to right myself.  _ Damn, that backfired. Guess I should be glad he didn’t stab me, but Sendak’s ‘mercy’ won’t hold forever.  _ The halls darken as we leave the foyer, the only sound the mechanical march of the sentries bearing my friends.

_ How the hell am I going to get us out of this? _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *My my, what a chapter, I do love some good heart to heart followed by heart-wrenching angst and combat. Constructive criticism always appreciated, especially in my characterization of canon characters!
> 
> -tense edited as of 10/22/18-
> 
> Finished 10/13/2018**


	10. Trial By Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything that could've gone wrong seems to have went wrong; Will, Shiro, and Lance are held captive in the Castle of Lions by Commander Sendak, the Galra they thought they had defeated a bare week ago. Will has never been in this type of situation before, he is utterly clueless. All he knows is he has to protect his friends, no matter the cost.

Sendak orders the sentries to drop Shiro and Lance on the floor between Allura’s circle and the doorway once we enter the darkened control room. The second Galra, with the cut on his face now crusted with dried black blood, practically throws me down at their feet. I fall face first and quickly struggle to my feet, flinching as the sentries weapons make a whirring sound as they train on us. I stare at their faceless faces, shifting to sit on my feet and peering past them to the two Galra. They stand in the middle of Allura’s circle and with a beckon of Sendak’s claw the massive, floating, purple crystal glides into the room like a thundercloud. I narrow my eyes and examine it more closely; it looks remarkably similar to the crystal that they destroyed, if purple instead of blue, it even has the same pulsing light underneath that hints at the power within. 

I didn't realize that that crystal, the blue one, was what powered the Castle before now.  _ They did that on purpose, so they could walk through without fear of us getting into our lions.  _ The bleeding Galra grabs massive claw-like chains that hide beneath the crystal and begin to attach them to different places around Allura’s circle, in apparently particular locations.  _ Why did they destroy the original crystal, then, if they're just gonna replace it with another one?  _

"Power up the Castle." Sendak commands, and after a brief moment the Galra rises as the crystal flares to life. Immediately the lights within the bridge flicker on, but instead of the soft blue it's a dark, blood red, casting us in crimson light like something out of a horror movie. A bright, malevolent cardinal symbol flashes in the center, it’s like a melting cross on its side, dripping down in sharp points, and I recognize it immediately from the wreckage Shiro, Pidge, and I went to earlier; the exactly symbol flashed in the middle when Shiro powered the panel with his arm. 

As the Castle hums back to life, Sendak pulls up a red holographic screen and taps a few buttons. Suddenly, images snap up on the large holographic screen at the front of each of the lions within their hangers. Sendak smirks victoriously with a dark laugh, "The lions are all in their bays. Raising particle barrier, and beginning launch sequence." Sendak waves his hand and the other Galra moves to stand beside him, typing commands into a second holographic screen beside him.

_ Shit, did he say raise particle barrier? Launch sequence? Fuck, he's taking the Castle  _ **_and_ ** _ the Lions, just stripping it out from beneath our feet. Shit. Shit! I have to do something, anything to keep them from doing this, but what can I do? What can I say? Think Will, think! They’ll fear failure, if Zarkon’s the dictator Allura’s described…  _

"These lions will be completely useless to Zarkon if he gets them, they only respond to the pilot they've bonded with." I spit with a voice full of spite, and as I do the cut in my lip that was clotting is ripped open once more and blood slides down my chin. _Fuck, ow. Shake it off,_ _right now, pain is completely secondary._ I set my jaw as I hear one of the sentries prime their guns, no doubt in response to my words, and a droplet of blood falls onto the white armor on my legs, like a rose in snow. 

My heart is practically in my ears as Sendak merely chuckles in a cold manner, "Why do you think we haven't killed you yet? I'm sure the druids will be able to extract all the information they need out of you on how to access the lions' power for the glory of Zarkon." 

I swallow on the lump in my throat, the coppery, warm taste of blood on my tongue another holographic image flickers on the screens. This one is showing the outside of the Castle, I watch the particle barrier being raised.  _ No, Allura and Keith are still out there! Who knows when Hunk, Pidge, and Coran will be back, they went to get another crystal, but with the particle barrier won’t let them in, and they can’t attack the Castle with nothing but a pod.  _

_ I’m the only one who can get us out of this. Fuck, we’re fucking screwed…  _

_ Unless I can bargain with a dictator’s lackey. _

"... Perhaps you could save Zarkon the trouble." I murmur in a dark tone, struggling to keep the tremble out of my voice, "Let my friends go, and I can show you how you can pilot the lions." 

Sendak pauses at this, and I immediately speak in a more assured tone now that I have his attention, "You could pilot the lions yourself to Zarkon's feet!"  _ He has to like power just as much as Zarkon does, look at his face, look at that  _ **_arm_ ** _ , there’s no way he didn’t have it made just for the sole purpose of flinging people around like he’s been doing. _

The holographic keyboard in front of Sendak vanishes as he turns to me, fixing his sole yellow eye upon me. It’s the gaze of an apex predator and it instills me with the truest fear I’ve ever felt.

Sendak strides over slowly, purposefully, it’s the only sound in the room besides the soft hum of the Galra crystal, his assistant doesn’t even look up from his work at the front. He stops just in front of me, and drops downwith an expressionless, if almost amused gaze, peering at me now that we're eye to eye. I want to crawl away, I want to kick him square in the face for what he’s done to Shiro, but I have to  _ stay. I’m the only one who can get us out of this.  _

"You are but a child, are you not?" Sendak's tone is perplexed, his serpentine pupil sliding across my features with the gusto a leopard examining its killed prey, "I've never seen an Earthling before, but I know enough about your race that you are barely matured." I merely meet his gaze with hard eyes, gritting my teeth as he suddenly chuckles, "The fire of youth is powerful, isn’t it?” He moves to stand back upright with slow deliberance, “You will serve the Empire. Whether you, and your friends, want to or not." 

I feel my breath catch in my throat.  _ Fuck, no, I need to keep his attention! Maybe until the others can get back, or until Allura and Keith can find some other way into the Castle, maybe there’s a secret entrance, but I can’t just let them do this! Lay it thick. Play into what you’d expect a thousand year old dictator’s propaganda to be. _

"Of course,” I can’t believe my voice doesn’t shake as my lip aches from the cut, “We know we won’t last any longer. The Galra Empire is... unstoppable." I can't help but hesitate, my blood boiling at how much I'm brown-nosing,  _ but you have got to, for the others. _ I swallow on the lump in my throat to keep talking, "But what would Emperor Zarkon prefer more: the lions delivered, but inaccessible for  _ years _ , or would he prefer _ immediate _ access?"

Sendak tilts his head, peering down his nose where he stands over me and for a split second I wonder if he knows how manipulative I’m trying to be. I hear my heart pounding in my ears and my blood rushing like ice when he speaks in a commanding tone yet no change in expression, "Tell me what you know."

_ Got you.  _

I shake my head, "Only if you let my friends go."

Sendak smirks a little, chuckling softly. I feel something cold and hard against my cheek, and I immediately flinch away as Sendak's prosthetic claw inches closer. "I'll get the information out of you, little lion. Eventually." He turns away again, and I seethe in frustration, fumbling for something, anything to say, but the moment has passed.  _ Fuck, I can’t believe I said all that shit for nothing.  _

He barks to the other Galra, "Make contact with Emperor Zarkon." 

After several moments, a huge holographic image flickers in the air on the big screen.

It's a sinister figure, a Galra with horrifying golden eyes with no pupils, but their chill is almost tangible that I know when this Galra looks at you, you feel it. His face has cold, hard, sharp, lines along his jaw and cheekbones, regal as a king, and a metal helm on his brow that is reminiscent of a crown, made of black and purple iron as cold as his listless eyes are. His fangs protrude from his top lip to hang over his bottom lip, dark violet and as sinister as staring at the mouth of a saber tooth tiger.

_ This... This is Zarkon. This is the being that destroyed Altea, destroyed a numberless amount of entire  _ **_planets_ ** _ , the Zarkon that has conquered the known universe. This is the face of my enemy.  _

Zarkon purrs, "Sendak."

"My mission is complete." Sendak states with a smirk in his voice, "I've captured the Altean castle, along with all of the Voltron lions and three of their Paladins. I am currently preparing for launch, and will be delivering all of them to you shortly." 

I bare my teeth in frustration.  _ No, this  _ **_can't_ ** _ be it! _

Zarkon smiles in a cold, terrifying manner that reminds me more of a baring of teeth than a true smile, "This news is most pleasing. You have done your duty.  _ Vrepit sa _ ."

_ "Vrepit sa." _ Sendak answers in their strange language with a fist over his chest, and the image of Zarkon vanishes. Sendak doesn't turn as he barks again, "Haxus, ready the Castle for takeoff."

Haxus, the other Galra, nods affirmatively, "Yes, Commander."  _ So that’s your name. Good, I wanna know your name when I beat your fucking face in.  _ All is silent for a moment save for the Castle's hum growing steadily louder, I flurry for something to do, fucking anything- 

I jolt when I hear Shiro moan softly next to me, his head shifting to the side before he lies still once more. I gasp and shift as best as I can with my hands behind my back so that I can be next to him, but it’s too late. Sendak heard him, and he’s turning towards us again. I hear the soft, robotic movement of the sentry behind me, and when I turn I watch it grab Shiro's wrists, bringing his hands behind his back to cuff him. I immediately lash out with my feet, kicking its hands away and sending the cuffs skidding away a few feet with a feral snarl,  _ "Don't touch him!" _

The sentry reaches for its gun. I close my eyes as the metallic taste of blood fills my mouth from my cut lip, but Sendak's slightly bemused tone cuts through the air but a beat later, "At ease." 

I open my eyes to see the sentry stilling. I turn, leaning over Shiro's unconscious body to shield him as best I can from Sendak. He stands just a foot away from me, looking down with a disgusting, self-satisfied smirk.  _ Even if it's really no use to try and keep him from Shiro, I'm okay with just pissing him off and just making his life more difficult at this point. We’re headed towards torture until death, and I’ll be  _ **_damned_ ** _ if I make it easy for them.  _

_ We’re headed towards torture until death.  _

_ Oh my God, this is real. This is happening. I’m in real, true mortal danger.  _

I swallow the fear and the taste of copper as Sendak leans down with his massive hand, but instead of knocking me aside like I was expecting he grabs the front of my uniform and lifts me into the air like I weigh nothing but a sack of pebbles. I suck in breath in surprise, my shoulders jerking backwards and seriously beginning to ache from the pressure of my arms being kept behind my back. Now that I'm out of the way, the sentry leans back down and affixes handcuffs onto Shiro's wrists, but even though I know it’s useless I can’t help it, I kick out towards the sentry, hoping to kick it in the head or something otherwise but Sendak merely rattles me in his hold and I nearly bite off my tongue at the force. I look at him with as much contempt as is physically possible once his grasp stills, I’ve never been filled with so much tangible spite and fury, I feel like I could breathe fire if I just bared my teeth right.

Sendak peers at me with an amused, curled lip, "You have spirit, little lion. Such spirit won’t last long under the druids." He lifts his jaw with a haughty demeanor, “Tell me what I want to know now, and I’ll end your suffering with mercy.” 

_ I’m going to die, no matter how this ends.  _

This realization hits me like a cold spike into my chest, but somehow it does nothing but ignite the fire that burns deep inside me.  _ I am going to die no matter what. What happens before that point, now, doesn’t matter, it will end the same. If I keep him fixated on me, keep his attention, I can save Shiro and Lance at least for the moment, but only if I make it entertaining. That means fighting, hard, with everything I have.  _

_ I can do this. I’m Will fucking Lancaster, and my mama didn’t raise no bitch.  _

I curl my lip and spit blood directly onto Sendak's face.

He isn’t too happy with that.

His fangs bare with a thundering growl that echoes in the room as his massive prosthetic hand wraps around me like I'm no bigger than a hot dog. A cold piece of metal rips into the exposed piece of flight suit just between my chestplate and my belt, and I feel something wicked sharp tickling the skin of my side. Sendak releases his grip on the front of my uniform as his shoulder socket begins to spark with purple electrical bolts, fusing down into the metal and lashing out at me at the speed of lightning. 

Suddenly, I'm rocked with absolutely  _ astounding  _ pain, a massive shock blasting through my entire body. I’m screaming, the room darkens, but as suddenly as the pain comes, it's over. Sendak's smiling, fanged teeth are all I see through blurred vision, "How do you shut down the barrier outside of the lions?" His voice is measured, low, as I come a little to my senses. I try to struggle but the cold metal pressed just above my hipbone digs into my skin, it’s ridiculously sharp, uncomfortable, cold, and intrusive, and probably the source of that awful electrical pulse.  _ Ow, that fucking hurt.  _

"Not until you release my friends." I hiss through bloodied teeth, and almost immediately more purple electrical sparks flash across his prosthetic. Pain washes over me, sharp and clear and rocking my entire body in his grip, it feels like when your foot falls asleep and when you try to move it it just cramps and hurts really bad like its about to fall off, except my whole body feels that way and it’s about ten times worse. I just have to take it.

The electrical pulse dies, and I can barely hear a distant crackling as the electricity returns to Sendak's arm. I cough on... blood? I probably accidentally swallowed some blood, and God does my throat hurt... was I screaming? I blink as the walls begin to shake, and even through the numbing pain I can feel the ground rumbling beneath our feet.  _ The ship is preparing for takeoff. Hunk, Pidge, Coran, they're still off somewhere, having no idea this has happened. Allura, Keith, if they were even to repel the attack on the Arusian village, they're stranded until they can return.  _

_ I'm... I'm never going to see them again. I’m never going see any of my friends, my parents, ever again. _

_ I’m going to die. _

"Do you think this is true pain, little lion?" Sendak purrs, sickeningly, and his glowing yellow eye is alight, like a lantern that I can see even through blurred vision and black spots that dance along in a nauseating fashion. Instead, I close my eyes and try to drown out the pain, but Sendak's voice keeps me present, "This will be nothing compared to the suffering of Zarkon, to the wrath of his druids when Zarkon subjects you to their magic. You  _ will _ give us the answer, and it is only a matter of when." I open my eyes, struggling to take deep breaths as I meet Sendak's ruthless, cold gaze, "So, I'm going to ask you one more time, as I am ever merciful. Tell me the secret to unlocking the lions."

I suck in some breath, my skin feeling like it's made of cotton as the stars stop dancing in front of my eyes. It's a little empowering, actually, to be feeling a little like I'm having an out of body experience, like I'm watching this happen rather than experiencing it.  _ Why does everything feel so still now? The Castle felt like it was shaking at its foundations just a minute ago.. I guess...  _

_ I guess we've already taken off. It's too late.  _

_ I'm going to die.  _

_ It’s just a matter of how I want to go out… and I am  _ **_not_ ** _ going out as a snitch.  _ I let out a forced laugh, coughing as blood slides down the back of my throat, "You knock and ask nicely."

Sendak bares his teeth, and I seal my eyes shut in preparation for another wave of flesh-rending agony when, all of a sudden Haxus' voice snaps in shock, "Commander, the main engine just shut down!" I blink, and open my eyes wide.  _ The ground.. The Castle has stopped shaking, but it's not because we've lifted off. We haven't left yet! Maybe we still have a chance!  _

Sendak snarls and tosses me down on the ground next to Shiro and Lance like a discarded toy. I let out a pained noise as my shoulder takes the force of the fall, snapping me back inside of my body at the present moment rather than watching from a blissful, cushioned distance. My entire body hurts, like I was just set on fire and put out with a vat of Icy-Hot cream, and all I can do in that moment is curl up into a ball and hope the pain passes.

_ This is the worst party ever. _

A beeping noise comes from over where Haxus and Sendak now are and I look up to watch as they pull up an image of... the engine room, maybe? They zoom in on the door, and I realize it's because it is being pried open. I spot green and white armor slipping past, with a familiar Galra android at his tail.

_ Pidge! I thought he left with Coran and Hunk, but he’s still in the Castle! He’s not only out of Sendak's control, but he's bringing the Castle down from the inside! If anyone can do it, it's Pidge. Oh my fucking God. Thank fuck. We might just not die yet. Go, Pidge! Go! _

"We have a saboteur." Sendak snarls as he turns to Haxus at his side, "Find him and take him out."

Haxus nods, and he waves to the sentries in the room. They clink mechanically, turning to march out with Haxus and leaving us alone with Sendak, the door sliding shut behind them. I swallow, forcing myself to think beyond the pain I'm in and instead on something more productive.  _ There's got to be something I can do to help. Pidge is a one man army, but I don't think even he can take out 5 sentries alone, and while Haxus is trying to bring the Castle back online. I have to do something, to buy him time, to give him some sort of advantage. _

I look over at the hologram Sendak is typing at. The second one, the one that Haxus was at, is just over his shoulder, out of his line of sight.  _ If it's just him... If I'm quiet... _

I slide, painfully, across the floor as quietly as I physically can. It makes every single muscle in my body, even muscles I didn't know I had, scream in protest, but I ignore it and press on with a strength I didn’t realize I had, adrenaline sure is a hell of a drug.  _ I can do this, for Pidge.  _ Sendak types on the hologram, his back to me, and it takes a painstakingly long time to move even a foot, but I have to be patient to not arouse Sendak's suspicion.  _ God my fucking shoulders hurt, I wish I had my hands bound in front of me. Well, if I only get one wish right now it’s Sendak’s fucking head on a pike, so I think I’ll deal with the other minor inconveniences right now. _

What feels like days later, I reach the panel. Sendak hasn't moved with his back to me, but who knows how long he'll be distracted by whatever he's doing,  _ I have to be fast _ . I examine the screen quickly, and it's then that I realize the flaw in my plan.  _ I can't fucking understand Altean.  _

_ Or, even if it isn't Altean, it's Galra, which I'm even less familiar with. What am I supposed to do with this? I'm a fucking idiot. _

I stare at the unfamiliar letters, wondering what I could possibly do when I recognize a symbol I'd seen before, the symbol that's inside the training room. I press it with my nose, swearing in my head about how bad my shoulders are hurting because of the cuffs behind my back, and it reveals a holographic video of the training floor. Pidge is there, two sentries firing at him. He dodges the shots, and I watch the screen flash blue as he activates the invisible maze remotely from his suit's computer, trapping the sentries within.  _ Brilliant, Pidge! If I survive this, I’m going to give him the biggest fucking hug on the face of this Eart-... Arus. the face of this Arus, we’re technically on Arus. That just doesn’t have a good ring to it. _

I notice that there are tabs to this screen, so I press my nose to the next one. It switches to a holographic video of the hallway outside the training floor. As I flip through each, I see that they are all of the live video footage from within the Castle.  _ Okay, that's helpful. _ I stop on the video feed of Haxus heading down a hallway, and just beyond I recognize the main engineering chamber, where Pidge just was dismantling the Castle.  _ Okay, now where's the incinerate-all-Galra button? _

I examine each symbol,  _ that one kinda looks like a dick, hehe, okay, that's a red alert button, but I don't think sending a broadcast through the Castle will necessarily be helpful I think, uh... what the hell. _ I touch my nose to the one that's shaped a bit like a dick, because hey, maybe it's lucky? Immediately the video of Haxus appears as he's walking down the hall. As he walks, the door he's heading for suddenly slams closed, right in his face. He pauses, and he walks over to the keypad by the door to reopen it. I grin, and repress the dick button, and the door shuts again. Every time Haxus opens the door, I hit the penis button to close it again, and honestly it's incredibly amusing to watch him running between the keypad and the door,  _ anything to give Pidge time, but even better to fuck with this pissbag. Oh man, if I wasn’t concussed before I sure as hell am now- _

Suddenly, I feel massive fingers wrap around me, I'm flying across the room. I cry out in surprise, and I crash against the wall next to Shiro and Lance. My entire body aches from the impact, the pain that had rested to a dull ache reappears in full force.  _ I'm getting real tired of being thrown around like a ragdoll. _

Sendak glowers at me, dismissing the holographic panel I was messing with as his prosthetic snaps back to his arm following the violet electrical trail. He approaches me with a dark and menacing glare, "You're becoming more trouble than you're worth to keep alive,  _ pest. _ "

"Well, aren't you just a sweet-talker." I croon with an attempt at a wicked smirk, but it probably comes out as more of a grimace. Sendak bares his fanged teeth, and his massive clawed hand wraps around my middle and lifts me off the ground. I feel the metal prod against my skin, stabbing into the same spot in my armor, but this time it presses harder, the sharp edge rending into my skin and fixing itself deep in my flesh. Immediately a cry of pain rips out of me, I feel blood beginning to soak into my suit, my eyes sting as tears well.  _ God, God, God, ow, ow, ow… I think this is what it feels like to be stabbed. I’ve never felt pain so intense before. I’ve just been stabbed.  _

Sendak responds coldly, a dark smile stretching across his sharpened features, "Lets see how your sense of humor fairs when I'm done ripping the information out of your broken body.”

I can’t help it, I let out a rattled gasp full of fear. _He has no semblance of humanity in him,_ _all I can see is his adoration for blood and pain. He sees death as mercy. What kind of monster-_

His grip on me tightens and the prod stabs further into my side, immediately I scream in agony, it hurts,  _ it hurts so bad fucking badly, this is going to kill me-... This is going to kill me. _

Strangely enough, this fills me with a dark sense of calm.  _ There's a light at the end of the tunnel. This is going to kill me. It doesn’t matter how I get there. I’m seriously going through all the stages of grief here coming to terms with my own inevitable death, but OW FUCK- getting stabbed does that to you. _

_ Now, I'm fueled by spite and rage, and that will take me far.  _ "That's funny that you mention that," I hiss through pained breaths, every breath causes the stabbing pain of the prod in my side to send sharp jerks of agony everywhere,  _ but if I die then I’m going to do it giving Sendak the smallest amount of satisfaction as possible. _ "... Because, actually, because, you see, I'm one of those people that as soon as you tell me not to do something, I do it, but as soon as I want to do something and you tell me to do it, I lose all interest in doing it, so really you're just doing the opposite of  **_aAH-_ ** " I'm cut off as a bolt of electricity races through me, and I vaguely smell burning hair as I almost bite my own tongue mid-sentence. I see nothing but purple pulses behind my eyes, it hurts so much worse with the prod inside me, and even though I try to pull away from the pain, to retreat within myself,  _ I can't, I can’t, I can’t, ow, oh my God, please, stop, stop-! _

I vaguely hear a voice, that horrible fucking Galra, Haxus' voice, over the communicators in the Castle overhead, and whatever he says causes Sendak to stop whatever pulse he's sending through me. I gasp for breath, I can feel the tears streaking down my cheeks and mixing painfully with the blood on my lip as he answers, "Good, continue your work. Report in once it is successful." He turns his attention back to me, and I wheeze, my lungs feeling like they're on fire. 

I hiss, my voice is so hoarse that it doesn’t even sound like my own, "You won't win. My friends-... they're coming for you. They’re going to free us, and then I’m going to kill you myself, you  _ monster _ ." I've never heard myself speak in such a way, but I feel every word like it's branded into my very veins. All I can feel is rage, hate, and…  _ I want to hurt Sendak. I want to hurt him so badly, I want to see him bloody and begging for the mercy of death.  _

Sendak merely smirks.

“L-let him go!” Even though my entire body aches, I'm filled with relief at the sound of Shiro’s voice.  _ Thank God, at least he's still alive... But what about Lance? Is my stone working on him? I could really use it right, actually, but not if it's the only thing keeping him alive. But Shiro’s okay. Thank God, Shiro’s okay!  _

"Hmm, good, you’re awake.” Sendak’s voice is sickeningly sweet, and I let out a hoarse scream when his fist clenches around me, driving the prod deeper inside, ripping through me like a butter, “You know, I almost hope you're right, little lion." Sendak purrs, and I open my eyes to see him watching me with a dark and satisfied smile, "I want your Paladin friends to come. I want to break each of you, one at a time, until they know nothing but blood and pain, and  _ you- _ " I hear nothing else as a violet electrical pulse rips through my veins to the point that I have no doubt that my blood has turned the same color as that pulse. I can feel myself screaming, tears streaming down my cheeks but I don't really feel it anymore. I'm outside of myself, I found a narrow crook inside that I'm hiding in, where I can still see and feel everything but through what feels like thousands of layers of skin.  _ I think I might be going into shock.  _ I might be convulsing, I'm not sure anymore all I know is I can barely feel anything except the warm flow of my blood oozing out onto the thin metal prod, and down my side.  _ Like caramel syrup.  _

"Stop it! Stop!" I hear Shiro's voice, vaguely, maybe? Maybe I'm just imagining things now, it wouldn't be surprising. Outside of this little box, I think I'm in a lot of pain, but much to my surprise, the pulse ceases, and I'm filled with a warm sense of comfort.  _ I could take a nap. _ I feel my eyes flutter shut as the energy stops, going limp in Sendak's hold... except I'm not being held anymore. I'm on the floor. I'm lying on my side. I feel hot and sticky blood pooling beside me as I gasp for breath, and I realize that Sendak had dropped me. I feel more blood gush and soak into the fabric of my uniform, and it intensifies with sharp agony that I can feel even from within my own head.

“Fearless leader,  _ Black Paladin _ , is that what they call you now? I much preferred the title  _ Champion. _ ” My blood curdles in my veins at the sound of Sendak’s voice, it’s like the loose threads on the box I’m inside of are getting hitched on them and dragging me slowly outside of it. Sendak’s footsteps sound like pebbles that bounce off my protective bubble. “Your compassion has always been your undoing. Perhaps you could take his place? I know  _ you _ can tell me what I need to know.”  _ Take his place.  _

_ No. No. _

_ No. No. _ **_No._ **

I'm snapped out of my box and the pain washes over me anew. I gasp and curl tightly on my side, wishing I could clutch at it and ease the bleeding or something, but I can't. I can't even feel my shoulders anymore, with my arms pinned behind my as they are.  _ I can't, no, I won't let him touch Shiro, ignore it, ignore it, just get up,  _ **_get up_ ** _.  _ I try to move, but my entire body screams against it and all I can manage to do is tremble. I suck in breath and as I open my eyes I dig into some raw, deep reservoir of energy from deep within me and I'm able to turn onto my back, my hands braced on the floor behind me.

Shiro’s laying on his back a few meters away from me, pinned beneath Sendak’s boot, there’s a trail of blood coming from his mouth.  _ He flung himself at Sendak to save me.  _ Shiro’s gaze flickers to mine, and all I can manage is to slowly blink at him, hissing between my teeth and with all my strength I wrench myself upright. 

This movement seems to amuse Sendak, his single golden eye burns with amusement before he turns back towards Shiro with a wicked smirk, his voice is dripping in sickening venom, “I’m impressed that you managed to escape,  _ Champion _ … Perhaps it would be worth a trip to your planet to see if the rest of your kind have your  _ spirit _ .” He chuckles as he casts a glance over in my direction, his claw begins to spark once again as he looks down at Shiro with a black look, a sadist’s gaze, “But of course, they will all end up broken,  _ just like you _ .” 

I shake as I try to do something,  _ anything,  _ get up  _ get up, get up-  _ “Now that we have Voltron, every planet, every race,  _ all _ share the same fate.” Sendak reaches out his prosthetic towards him as it sparks with purple energy and every single cell trembles at the sound of Shiro’s screams. I blink past the tears,  _ get up, get up, get  _ **_up_ ** _ ,  _ but I can barely stay upright,  _ but nothing, Shiro fucking needs you.  _

Shiro slumps against the floor as Sendak drops him, a dark smile on his fight that fills me with unequivocal disgust but before his arm sparks again. This time he stares down at Shiro’s kneeling form, whose head is hung and his teeth is grit but his eyes are closed, like he’s in a deep sleep. 

_ If I can’t stand, I’ve got to do something. Anything. Distract. What can I distract him with? All he cares about is getting the ship off the ground. Haxus and the sentries left to do just that…  _

_ I don’t think he’s reported back yet. It’s got to have been a few minutes since then. I can use this. _

I bare my teeth right as Sendak’s claw sparks again, "You know, Sendak," My voice is hoarse and aching, but it’s loud enough to catch Sendak’s attention. He turns to me as I spit out the words with dark malice, "Haxus has been very quiet, for quite a while now.  _ I sure hope _ nothing  _ bad _ has happened to him." 

Sendak’s gaze is hard, unforgiving and he’s still for a long moment before he abruptly touches one of his claws to his ear. He takes several retreating steps away as he growls lowly,  _ "Haxus, report." _

I stop listening immediately, closing my eyes and allowing myself to collapse back down to my side and soak in my own agony.  _ Fuck, I didn't think this much pain was physically possible. But I got him away from Shiro, that’s all that matters. Goddamn, papercuts are gonna be fucking nothing after today.  _

_ Oh wow, I’ve gotten past the whole “I’m gonna die” thing, call that progress. _

I'm vaguely aware of movement, sounds like scuffling getting closer until it's next to me. I slowly open my eyes and peer up above me. Shiro's crouched, almost protectively, over me with his steely eyes trained on Sendak's form, who’s moving away from us with his clawed hand to his ear as he speaks into his com. I can't talk anymore. I’d be surprised if I could move again at this rate. My entire body feels like it's made of jello, wobbly and weak, and instead of strawberry flavoring the taste is copper and rust.

Shiro’s eyes flicker away from Sendak when he feels my gaze, and he peers down to look at me with incredible worry. He looks dazed, but alive.  _ What a fucking champ. If only I was able to keep them from cuffing him, he could've struck at Sendak while I had him distracted… but fuck it, thank everything and anything divine that he’s alive. _

"You've slowed me down, but this ship is mine! You will turn yourself over to me immediately!" Shiro and I both jolt a little hearing Sendak’s furious roar, and after a beat our gazes meet. 

_ Pidge. _

Slowly, Sendak turns to face us with a dark look that makes my blood, at least the blood that’s still in my veins and not on the floor, run cold. His snake-like eye pins Shiro to the floor, and he grins in a horrifying manner that's all teeth and fangs, "Then perhaps your leader can convince you." 

_ Oh fuck no.  _

I have no idea where the energy or strength came from, but I somehow find it within me to sit up, pushing my shoulder against Shiro's, _ "Stay away from him! I'll kill you, monster!"  _ I’m shouting with a voice that hardly sounds like mine, but it helps that I can’t seem to feel anything. My body is completely numb, I feel like I’m speaking through a dummy, but this is better,  _ I can work with this. I can work with a body that feels nothing.  _

Shiro tenses beside me,  _ "Will, don't!"  _ He hisses under his breath. I don’t do this often, but I ignore him. Being beside Shiro, I can actually do something, I can protect him. My gaze is tunnels on Sendak, and somewhere deep within I find myself rising to my feet and launching my entire body towards him.

Sendak sidesteps me with a bare hint of effort. I fall to the ground behind him with an absolute agonizing shot of pain through my body, any energy that I’d gathered is ripped from me by the ground when I come crashing down. "You have no claws, little lion." He purrs with amused condescension. I seal my eyes shut and rasp out a pained sob. 

_ I fucking hate you. _

I close my eyes to block out the black spots dancing throughout my vision as it fades in and out of focus. Shiro's voice reaches me, clear as a bell as he hisses, "What do you want?"

I can hear Sendak smirking darkly even with my eyes closed, " _ Your friend  _ wanted to hear from you."

Shiro quickly grasps the situation, and he speaks in a flurry as Sendak's claw spark with purple energy as he reaches out towards him, "Pidge! Pidge, don't listen to- _ AH! _ " Shiro cries out in pain and my stomach tightens as if I’m the one being electrocuted. 

I try to rise. I really try, I try as hard as I can but my legs are weak, and I can't do anything other than squirm, and hiss, and swear.  _ No. No. No. Get away from him. Get up, get  _ **_up_ ** _ , he needs you,  _ **_please, I have to protect him-_ **

The Castle rumbles almost like before when it was preparing for takeoff, and even over the din of Shiro's cries I hear a deep, earthshaking roar, but I don’t so much as hear it as feel it. Sendak releases Shiro with his eye immediately widening at the sound as Shiro falls onto his face with a groan of pain and lies still. Sendak raises an eyebrow as everything settles, I only have a few seconds. I use the last of my strength to scoot my body over to Shiro, and as soon as I’m up him I press my back against his, keeping myself between him and Sendak as he fixes us with a glowing golden eye.  _ Even if he can just knock me aside, it's something to annoy him, and that is worth all of my energy. And God, I have so little left. _

Sendak snaps at Pidge over the com, his tone flurried yet cold and amused, "You can make it stop. Turn yourself in. Their pain is in your hands." He rips the communicator out of his ear and drops it to the ground with a dark expression, and he turns to regard us with a cold, unwavering eye, "Come, smile! Your friend will be joining you shortly."

The Castle suddenly shakes again with a bright red flash of the alert system resonating within the bridge, causing the very walls to quake. Another roar, so loud it completely consumes my being, shakes the Castle like a crack of thunder; it’s almost familiar, like the sound of the car you’ve ridden in for your entire life firing to life. Sendak frowns and strides to the front of the ship to the holographic screen at the front, and just having him away, across the room, makes me immediately relax. I feel Shiro's rasping breath under my back, and with a relieved groan I slide off of him and hit the ground. The air seeming to shimmer, like a heat illusion in the desert, and the familiar black spots dance just for me.

I feel Shiro move beside me, and when I open my eyes I see him looking down at me with a touching, worried look, his voice is just above a hoarse whisper, "Will, are you okay?"

I slowly meet his gaze, curling my nose as every breath hurts like fire in my lungs, "Lance... how's Lance?"

Shiro looks over me at the wall, his eyebrows furrowed in determination as he whispers, so Sendak wouldn't overhear us where he’s fucking around at the front of the bridge  _ or whatever he’s doing, just as long as he stays over there _ , "His wound on his head and his back has been healed, but he hasn't woken up." Another rumble shakes the Castle, and I hear Sendak swearing something in Galra, I can definitely tell it is a swear based on the tone. 

I feel tears suddenly sting my vision as I gasp for breath, “I'm... I'm so sorry, Shiro. If I was faster, I could've stopped all of this from happening…”

Shiro shakes his head firmly, moving to sit directly next to me, "No, no, Will... You... are incredibly brave, I’m so, so proud of you. We're going to get out of this, together, okay? But you’ve gotta hang in there." I swallow on the lump in my throat, tears are rolling down my cheek but I take a shaky breath and force myself to sit up. The numbness has faded, so unfortunately the movement causes the wound in my side to gush and burn, I let out a soft whimper in pain against my consent. Shiro shifts his shoulders next to me to support me and I immediately lean against him with pained gasps. That's when I notice the tear in the side of his suit, just like mine, from the electrical prod in Sendak's claw. "It didn't cut you, did it?" I murmur as I catch my breath, and we tense as the Castle rumbles again.  _ Maybe it's an earthquake? Perhaps it’s coming back online? Maybe Pidge is setting off a bunch of bombs? Who fucking knows? _

Shiro’s eyes glance down at my side, and immediately his worried expression escalates to another level, "You're bleeding a lot, Will-”

“Did. It. Cut. You.” I repeat the words slowly with a dark drag on my words, looking at Shiro with complete seriousness. 

Shiro glances down at his side and curls nose, “Nothing I can’t handle. It’s just a scratch.” 

I lean away and examine his side more closely. There’s blood soaking into his suit, but it’s in a slicing motion rather than a puncture, like I think mine is. From what I can tell it’s not a stab, it’s a cut, and cuts are shallower.  _ Thank fuck. If he’s bleeding out, it’ll take a little longer. If I can get our hands free that can be healed up with a good set of bandages. Probably. _

I turn my gaze away from him and lock onto Lance. I dig into the shrinking pool of desperate, adrenaline induced strength within and slowly, painfully, slide along the floor towards him. I can barely hear Shiro behind me murmur something but I don’t hear a single word as my vision hones in on Lance’s sleeping expression.

He does look remarkably better, there’s only a smear of blood across his temple, like Simba, to show that he was ever injured but he is still unconscious; he appears to be asleep. I turn my back so I can reach his hands with my own, and as I grasp his left wrist I press two fingers against the inside, and after a moment I let out a sigh of relief, "He's still alive."

Sendak, who was furiously typing away at a holographic keyboard, suddenly whirls towards us with an enraged glare. There’s a video feed on the holographic screen, but with Sendak’s rapidly approaching form I can’t see what’s on it, only an image of an empty hanger.

_ "What are you doing?!" _ Sendak commands in an enraged voice, yet with a hint of frantic along the edges as he storms forward, and it immediately sends a bolt of absolute terror down my spine. I shrink away as his shadow descends like a spectre of death, the fear jolts fresh adrenaline straight into my veins as I attempt to scurry away.

Shiro immediately moves between us, shielding me with his body as he snarls, "Leave him alone!" 

Sendak knocks him aside with his prosthetic without even a pause. Shiro sprawls backwards and collapses next to Lance with a pained noise, but before I can even shout or move to him Sendak grabs my throat and pins me against the floor. I choke, sputtering for breath as the pressure intensifies, his clawed fingers are scalding as they dig into the skin of my neck as Sendak roars, "Call off your beast,  _ now _ !" 

"I-I'm..!" I sputter for air, but before I can so much as wheeze Sendak snarls with his teeth bared, "If you don't call it off, I’m killing  _ everyone _ in this room!" He’s screaming, he’s livid, he’s  _ afraid _ , and I see his yellow eyed gaze flicker to the side to where Shiro’s struggling to right himself and where Lance lies helpless. 

_ Call what off?! Call who?! What the fuck is happening?! _

"I … I don’t..." I whisper, my vision is beginning to tunnel as I can't force enough air into my lungs, I can’t speak anymore.  _ This is it. I'm dying, if he doesn’t crush my throat now I’ll bleed out. I failed my friends, and now I'm going to die because of it.  _

Suddenly, the room pitches, crystals that were lodged in the walls flake off and fall around us like falling snow; a voice shouts from behind Sendak, _ "Hey!" _

Sendak immediately whirls around and peers at the entrance of the room. I follow his gaze...  _ Pidge. _

Sendak releases me and I immediately suck in as much breath as my lungs can handle, coughing and sputtering as I roll onto my side, all I can feel is air and blood, there’s blood  _ everywhere.  _ Sendak's claw launches out towards Pidge where he stands in the doorway, but he dodges to the side with surprising agility, turning and sprinting in the other direction down the hall. Sendak follows closely until they're gone and around the corner.

But... there's Pidge, appearing from behind the door, glancing back at where he… he had just gone?  _ I'm either seriously concussed, or on the verge of death. Honestly, could be both. My fingers and toes feel really cold, and all I want to do right now is close my eyes and sleep. Even retreating into myself doesn't work anymore, how long have I even been here? God, everything hurts…  _

The next time I open my eyes, Pidge is kneeling in front of Shiro, who starts when he sees Pidge in front of him, "Shiro? Will, Lance, wake up, it's me!" 

With a horrified, strangled cry, Sendak's clawed fingers wrap around Pidge's body and haul him back. He holds him up in his grip with a wry grin like a cat bearing a squirming mouse in its teeth, his single, golden eye glimmers in the dark light, "You really thought your little hologram trick would work with me?" 

_ The Castle has stopped shaking. Whatever that was, it seems to have passed. But now we're royally fucked: he has Pidge. He’s going to hurt Pidge, if he hurt me this badly for just mildly inconveniencing him, how is he going to… to Pidge...  _

I stare at the open doorway when I hear the sound of a bayard engaging, ringing in the room like a grindstone against steel. 

It’s Keith and Allura, haloed in crimson and violet light like avenging guardian angels clad in Voltron space suits.  _ Oh yeah, I'm definitely concussed or dead or dying _ . Keith’s gaze flickers around at each of us to assess the situation as he raises his bayard, but before anyone can move Sendak snarls angrily at them,  _ "Stand back!" _

Suddenly, a pulse of blue energy bursts from next to me, shooting Sendak in the back. With a sharp cry he stumbles forward and drops Pidge, I look over with wide eyes to find the source.

Lance, barely conscious with his bayard in gun form, lays slumped against the wall. As soon as it seems his job is complete, Lance's eyes close with a groan and he drops his bayard on the ground, his head flopping to the side as he slips back into unconsciousness.  _ He's alive though, he's alive!  _

Shiro takes this chance, rising up to his feet and sprinting forward towards the vulnerable Sendak. But, he recovers faster than I think Shiro thought he would, he twists and knocks Shiro off to the side, sending him skidding across the room. Descending like Michael himself Keith bursts into action, punching Sendak forthright right across the face with a resounding  _ thump _ . Sendak stumbles back in utter shock as Keith swings his sword in a wide arc in quick succession but Sendak dodges out of the way right as his clawed prosthetic hand sparks to life and grabs Keith, hurling him across the room with the line of purple energy between the two sizzling and crackling like a live wire. Pidge launches into the air since recovering from falling, and with a rallying cry he uses the sharpened end of his green bayard to sever the purple electrical connection between Sendak and his arm. The hand's power abruptly fizzles out and fall to the ground, useless; Keith ducks beneath its once grasping fingers and kicks it aside. 

Sendak roars in fury,  _ "No!"  _ He whirls towards Pidge and charges my way as Allura skirts around the fight, heading towards the holographic projector down the stairs on the other end of the bridge. Sendak steps closer to where I sit hunched against the wall as he ducks beneath Keith's blade as he launches back into the fight, he’s snarling in a feral manner like a cornered beast.  _ I have to help, this will take all of us.  _

With Sendak close, I dig deep into the hidden, desperate well of energy within my soul and shift forward. I kick my legs out and strike him right on the side of his knee, awarding me a pained cry as Sendak falls to his knees. He barely catches himself with his one hand as Shiro reappears, head butting him and rocking him off balance and onto his back. I desperately roll out of the way as his clawed hand swipes in my general direction, gasping in agony as I feel more blood from the wound in my side gushing out from the movement. I'm barely able to stay on my feet, I’m teetering,  _ crack _ . 

_ Oh, there’s a wall.  _

I shift from where my shoulder’s planted against the wall, sucking in breath to keep from throwing up.  _ I feel really nauseous. I think the only thing keeping me from keeling over and dying right here on the floor right now is fear for my friends and adrenaline, but when one of those things wear off I have no idea where I’m going from there. Oh man, the room is swimming. _

Sendak rights himself, flinging his body towards Pidge and swiping at him with a clawed hand. Pidge summons his shield just in time to block it and dives to the side as Keith sweeps in with his bayard, wedging himself between Pidge and Sendak. Pidge points his bayard and launches the sharp edge of his bayard with a trail of vibrant green, hurdling like a little claw from spy movies around Sendak’s ankles and electrocuting him with sparks of green energy. Sendak cries out in pain, a glorious sound as he writhes and attempts to break free from the contraption right as Keith swings his sword in a downward arc. Somehow Sendak finds the strength to not only block the blow, but to hold Keith's blade at arm's distance with a clawed hand wrapped around the blade, I see black blood dripping down the blade from his hand but he doesn’t move or otherwise flinch. They battle each others strength, straining against one another when Allura suddenly cries out, "Keith, now!"

On queue Keith leaps into the air and dropkicks Sendak in the chest with both of his feet, sending Sendak, and himself, flying backwards. Without thinking, I move to catch him but, unfortunately, I forgot my hands are tied behind my back. Instead, he crashes into me, landing on top of me and sending us both crashing to the ground. I gasp as a fresh wave of pain washes over me, but it’s kind of… warm, like I just got doused with lighter fluid.  _ Wow, that sure was a terrible decision. What the hell was I thinking? OW. _

Keith rolls off of me, and I vaguely see over his shoulder that Sendak is trapped, with his purple crystal, in a violet barrier that surrounds Allura's central circle. He pounds his fist against angrily, but it's fruitless, it doesn’t give. He’s imprisoned, armless, and away from my friends. It's over. He's captured.  _ We're fine.  _

_ How the fuck am I alive? _

I jerk when I hear a husky, frustrated growl, "What the hell did you do that for?" I blink as Keith rests a hand on my shoulder and helps me sit up, to which I immediately grimace as the pain in my side flares up. I feel his hands on my shoulders, and with a slice my hands are free.

I let out a moan of appreciation as I roll my shoulders, the painful tingling sensation starting up again but compared to all the other sea of pains that I’m assaulted with right now, this one’s relatively mild.  _ ‘What the hell you do that for?’ _

I grin at Keith in a delirious fashion, "I love having cute boys falling on me." 

_ Oh yeah, I'm definitely about to die, or I'm already dead. But if this is heaven, I want a refund, ‘cause I still feel pain, and that sucks. _

"You're bleeding." Keith murmurs in a soft, gentle tone, so gentle I don't think I've ever heard him speak that way before to anyone, except maybe Shiro.  _ Haha, selfish and bold of me to put myself on the same tier as Shiro on anything.  _ I feel his hand touching my side, but it’s already completely numb there.  _ I can’t believe I’m still alive. I should be dead by now.  _ I can't will myself to respond as I lean my head against Keith's shoulder, taking in shaky, raspy breaths and just reveling in the fact that I just  _ survived. And everyone’s okay. Shiro’s alive, Lance’s alive enough to shoot his bayard, Pidge is alive, Keith and Allura are alive… I did it. I did the thing.  _

I hear Keith let out a sigh, his breath ruffles my hair and I swear it smells like autumn, "Can you stop getting hurt today? Three times is enough.”

I let out a dry chuckle, leaning more heavily against Keith's chest and shoulder as sitting up on my own is growing too much effort, "Sorry that my blood is inconveniencing you." I murmur, and I find myself almost meaning it. Keith's grip on my side tightens as I close my eyes.  _ I wanna sleep. I wanna sleep... _

My eyes snap open when I hear a soft groan a few feet away, a groan I recognize. I turn my body towards him but Keith’s quicker. He breaks away from me, and I feel my body ache for his lost warmth as he races towards Lance’s crumpled form.  _ You selfish piece of shit, Lance needs him. Don’t go aching for what isn’t yours. Whoa, Keith isn’t something to be possessed. Keith’s a person. What the fuck is that. I’m fucking delirious, what did I even just mentally say? How the hell am I alive? _

Lance’s eyes are open, his beautiful baby blue eyes are open and glimmering and alive in the crimson light, even though his expression is a little delirious as he attempts to stand he’s  _ alright _ . Keith immediately sweeps under to help Lance rise to his feet, "Lance! Are you okay?" His voice is wavering in worry, his expression glued to Lance’s features.

"We did it." Lance murmurs, his eyes a little distant as he leans against Keith, smiling slightly at the corners of his mouth, "We  _ are _ a good team." 

Keith smiles back at Lance with such warmth in his eyes it’s practically tangible, and I feel like my heart might just sing.  _ Lance is alive, and for once in his life he’s getting along with Keith.  _

_ Huh, maybe this is heaven. _

I feel arms wrap around my middle, and I gasp as fresh pressure is applied to the deep wound in my side. I look over to see Allura next to me, she's pulling me up to my feet. I try to stand on my own, but my legs aren't legs, they're like noodles as I groan and slump against her side. She looks at me with beautiful, worried, blue eyes...  _ wow, they're like actual sapphires... _

"Keith, help me take Lance and Will to the infirmary. We need to get them into the healing pods!" Allura rapidly calls over me at Keith, and I lean heavily against her shoulder as she wraps an arm around my waist. I vaguely hear my lips moving as I mumble, “‘S fine, I thought I was gonna die without knowing you’re-all okay, so this is a delightful surprise~”

Keith nods as he wraps an arm around Lance's waist, helps him forward as our guardian angels help guide us out of the room. Each step is agony, I feel like I'm swimming through syrup. My body keeps hopping back and forth between  _ feel everything all at once all the time  _ or  _ I can’t even feel if I’m breathing or not,  _ and I wish it would just  _ make up its fucking mind. _

I wheeze and nearly collapse when we turn the corner into the atrium. The floor is illuminated with silver light,  _ the moonlight, this is where it all began.  _ I look down and now that it’s illuminated I see that my armor is completely smeared with blood, as is Allura's side as she swoops down and lifts me back into the air, much to my disappointment.  _ Damnit, just let me lie down and sleep a little- _

"Woo, that's why white armor is bad. I don't need everyone seeing how much I'm bleeding all over the damn place."  _ Oh yikes, my words are slurring a little.  _ I feel my eyelids droop as my feet drag on the ground,  _ Man, I could use a nap. I feel drunk, if getting drunk involved getting hit by at least six trains. _

Keith smacks my back, rather hard, actually, and I immediately snap my eyes open to glare at him, "Ow! Bitch, the fu-"

Keith smirks at me, and it's a sight that sends shocks into my very soul, "Don't fall asleep and make Allura and I carry you."

Allura hoists me upright a little more, and I grimace and grab my side. I speak without thinking, I feel like I'm watching myself talk rather than permitting myself to speak, "Ah, well, being carried by the two most beautiful people I'd ever seen would be such a pleasure… But don't worry, its for that reason that I'm  _ wide awake _ ." I snicker to myself, “Get it, because, you’re pretty?”

Allura rolls her eyes, her pretty blue eyes, as she keeps her arm firmly planted around my waist, "Come now, where's that selfless White Paladin I saw just now, who dove in front of another to ease their fall even if it caused them more pain?" 

Keith raises an eyebrow at Allura, and I merely laugh, kinda hard actually,  _ oh that hurts my side I should stop that. I’m definitely some kind of drunk. Drunk is a better way to feel than that awful agony from before, I still feel it, but it’s kind of like through a thick curtain; I know it’s there, but I can ignore it if I wanna. I can't believe it's over, actually. Maybe it isn't, and I really did just die and go to heaven. Or maybe this is hell. I’m feeling pain, my side is dripping, I feel like I couldn’t bleed and hurt if I was in heaven. But hell? Hell would mean that they never came. _

"That's why I'm not sleeping! I just like to talk about selfish things to make people think I'm a normal level of self-sacrificial." I cover my mouth to suppress a yawn, and when I open my eyes again it's as we enter the infirmary. Allura posts me up inside the pod, touching my cheek with a bloodied hand, "Easy, Will, you'll be okay. Deep breaths, now." I move to follow her touch, it's so warm and comforting, but the pod closes around me before I can. A strange, minty smell invades me, and the last thing I see is Keith stepping away from helping Lance inside his pod when a warm feeling falls over me, and everything goes black.

\---

_ “I see the way you stare,” Sendak’s singular, snake-like eye bores into me with a look of dark satisfaction that spikes anger in my blood, “Isn’t the scent of blood delicious?”  _

_ I’m frothing I’m so fucking angry, I want to leap out like an inferno and engulf this  _ **_monster_ ** _ that hurt Shiro, hurt Will and Lance… But I can’t. It isn’t what Shiro would’ve wanted. _

_ “Shut up.” I spit, each word drips with venom, “You’re lucky to be alive.”  _

_ A sick grin spreads across his face as he purrs, “A mistake you won’t live long to regret.” _

_ “We have the concoction ready to diffuse.” I turn to look at Allura and Pidge as they approach with what looks like an empty canister, full of some type of gas that from what I gather is basically like chloroform that’ll knock Sendak out long enough to put him in a cryo-pod, down in the detainment chambers. It  _ **_bothers_ ** _ me how risky this is. One slip-up and Sendak can hurt Shiro again, or Will, or Lance, or Pidge, or Allura, or Hunk… I don’t want to give him that chance, but Allura’s made up her mind about it ,no matter how many times I said as such. I have to force myself to remember the mission; despite how I feel about it, we can’t let an opportunity like this go. I just have to control myself. It’s what Shiro would’ve wanted, what he would expect from me. Patience yields focus.  _

_ “You think that you can break me?” Sendak’s voice is vicious and incredulous at the very idea as he bares his fangs, “I was forged in the fires of the Galra Empire! I am the reach of Zarkon! Victory or death, vrepit s-” _

_ “Can we get this over with?” I interrupt him with a gesture with my sword towards the barrier around Allura’s place in the middle of the bridge. Get it over with, I want to say, before I lose my shit and stab him on the spot for what he did to Shiro, to Lance, and to Will. There’s so much blood on the floor, the look on Will’s face when he saw us enter, Lance was barely able to stand, he was in and out of consciousness the whole way to the pod, murmuring under his breath words I couldn’t understand. I was so fucking worried, Shiro immediately collapsed as soon as Allura and I returned from getting Lance and Will to the cryo-pods. I didn’t know he was hurt, he never asks for help, I’ve never felt so helpless than when I dragged Shiro to the infirmary, I haven’t been so scared since Shiro refused to let it go, to stay and send someone else to Kerberos even though he…  _

_ He was bleeding from the same place Will was, on the waist just above his hip. He wasn’t delirious, he’s sharp and always focused, putting everyone else ahead of him like he always does. I wish he wouldn’t. I wish he had said something instead of staying behind to make sure Pidge was okay and that Sendak was secure. But I know it isn’t his fault. It’s Sendak’s.  _

_ Will’s armor was stained red along his left side and his voice was hoarse, the ground was slippery it was covered in so much blood it was terrifying. Lance didn’t have that same cut luckily but it was only a matter of time before Sendak moved on to him, if I didn’t see it here for myself I don’t think I would’ve believed that someone was capable of such… sadism. Shiro was shaking when I got him to the pod. When I look down I see that I still have his blood on my hands. I saw the look in his eye, the one that comes out when he remembers when he was held by Zarkon.  _

_ As soon as he was in the pod, I headed straight back to the bridge to kill Sendak. I’ve never wanted to kill anyone before, I’m not a murderer, but killing Sendak doesn’t scare me, it doesn’t seem wrong… it’s what he deserves. If Allura and Pidge hadn’t already been working on knocking him out I think I may have even gone through with it, I almost did anyway… but it isn’t what Shiro would’ve wanted. He puts the mission first, and getting information from him is the most important thing to the mission right now.  _

_ I take a deep, practiced breath. Patience. Yields. Focus.  _

_ Allura presses the canister to the barrier, glancing over at me from over her shoulder. I ready my bayard and step forward as Sendak tenses, watching her hand like a hawk, ready to swoop at the first opportunity to break free.  _

_ The barrier swallows the canister and Sendak strikes, swiping a clawed hand at the weakness just as the barrier moves. I jut my bayard forward and block any kind of escape and his claws ricochet just off the blade and back inside as the canister falls, breaking open and releasing the gas into the closed barrier. Sendak claps his hand over his mouth to delay the inevitable, renewing his efforts to break the barrier, throwing himself against it with roars of fury before the gas settles in, bringing him to his knees and eventually to the floor.  _

_ This better be worth it.  _

_ \--- _

_ I killed someone. I did it. I killed that Galra guy. _

_ I was so scared, but I think I kept my cool. It isn’t logical to freak out and run away, not when I could do something about it. Not when everyone was depending on me.  _

_ Allura’s helping to distract me, showing me the different elements that went into the knockout serum she was making, the genius ingenuity to have the double layer to the plunger like a flash grenade but with a coated interior to prevent the decay. But I can still feel the sticky, drying blood under my boots, Will and Shiro’s blood. I want to throw up. _

_ I’m glad I tapped into the Castle’s mainframe when I couldn’t sleep two nights ago, waiting for my tracking system to scan the galaxy for any messages about my family. I’m glad I reprogrammed Rover instead of just shutting him down. I’m glad I got that pod ready to go before the crystal blew up. I’m glad I just hacked my bayard into the console instead of guessing on a crystal, otherwise that Galra would’ve gotten the powercore back online and that would’ve been it. It was all on me.  _

_ I hear Sendak hissing behind me, “Surely you know that your trials are in vain. Zarkon conquers all. In the end, so too shall you all serve.” _

_ I want to curl into a ball and cry. I wish Matt was here. I wish I had someone to talk to about all this crazy shit that’s going on. I wish I could hug him and hold him tight… but I know he can’t protect me. He isn’t invincible.  _

_ I didn’t want to, it was an accident. I knew as soon as I walked in that only one of us could leave, the probability that he would’ve surrendered or that I could’ve subdued him was too unpredictable. His last words were victory or death. It might’ve been me if Rover didn’t sacrifice himself, but that didn’t make it right. It was still me. I think that’s why Rover did it, to try and alleviate that responsibility off of me, but that doesn’t make sense because he’s a robot, but a part of his mainframe had some level of sentience, maybe enough for that to be true. Everything happened too fast. I didn’t even know his name.  _

_ I thought what happened to Shiro was all my fault. If I hadn’t killed that Galra, Sendak wouldn’t have felt that sense of vengeance to… to hurt him. Shiro’s screaming is still going to haunt me. But then I got to the bridge. Sendak crushing Will’s throat into the floor, the amount of  _ **_blood_ ** _ that was already there, Lance lying limp to the side, he looked like he was already dead and discarded, and Shiro desperately trying to get up and stop him but I could see the blood on his armor, shiny, wet, and new. I choked. There was no statistical way that all that could’ve happened in the time it took me to get to the bridge from the power core. That’s when I realized it wasn’t Sendak’s emotional response that made him torture Shiro to get to me, but calculated, depending on my emotional response to get me here and join them. I’ve never felt so stupid. _

_ I hate feeling stupid. _

\---

_ The Galra’s propensity for monstrosity has been the only consistent factor in the trajectory of this seemingly endless war.  _

_ This is all my doing. I brought this unholy wrath upon the others; the Arusians and the Paladins. Poor, gentle, little Earthlings.  _

_ Standing outside was agonizing. If it wasn’t for the mice, I think I would’ve gone insane, watching helplessly as the Galra takes the last piece of my civilization away from me, like they’ve taken everything else. They’ve taken  _ **_everything_ ** _ , and yet they still thirst for more. I never knew such heinousness was possible, I shame myself for my altruism before we retreated with the Castle to Var Hallen after what happened on Daibazaal. I thought that there was no way that Zarkon could be so selfish, so monstrous and horrible to strike down a mere child because she stood in his way, Paladin or not that’s who she was. It was far too late at that point. Her death is our fault,  _ **_my_ ** _ fault, because we thought he could still be saved. But once his eyes turned gold, there was no redemption. He chose his path.  _

_ As I have chosen mine.  _

_ I will never sink to their level. We will not be like this Commander Sendak and torture for the sake of bloodlust and kill because of the ease of cleanup.  _

_ Keith doesn’t like the plan, and I don’t blame him. His connection with the others is hard to see but it runs deeply, deeper than I think he even thinks, and his desire for revenge is completely understandable for I have felt that same rage. The only thing that keeps me from avenging my planet is the words of my father as we gathered in this very circle with the other Paladins, “We will never bend at the knee, we will never succumb to thirst for power, and we will never fall.” _

_ But I won’t allow such naivete to get in the way of what needs to be done, never again. I will never allow myself to befall the same fate as Dhala. _

\---

"Talking? Eating? Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Yep, there he is."

"Classic."

"He's fine."

I open my eyes, a blast of air hitting me in the face as the healing pod's door opens. I blink for a few seconds, my vision’s foggy as I step out of the pod, my entire body is a little shaky. I feel a bit like I just took a really hard nap, and all of my muscles are still waking up from it. The lights in the room are bright and it takes some difficulty for my eyes to adjust, and as my gaze moves lower I see the whole ship: Coran, Allura, Hunk, Pidge, Keith, Shiro, and Lance, all in a huddle in the center of the room. They're in their everyday clothes rather than their Voltron armor except for Lance, who is only in the black suit that we wear as the protective layer beneath our paladin armor. I blink, and glance down to realize then that I'm in the same suit, except… there’s a hole, right by my hip, I feel the air rushing against the bare skin. My memory floods back to me as I rest a hand on my side, worming a finger into the hole in the fabric, about as big around as my thumb to fit in.  _ Sendak, his claw, the purple, awful electrical pulses, the crystal explosion…  _

"Hey, Will's out!" Pidge suddenly cries, breaking away from the huddle around Lance and running over to me. His eyes are enthused, and he wraps his arms around me with a warm hug much to my unbridled surprise. I'm so stunned I don't move, merely blinking as the others chorus in welcome, approaching me and suddenly we’re in one big group cluster.  _ Warmth. Love... Wow. I love these people I'm with right now. I love them. Oh man, am I concussed? Why am I here? What was the last thing I remember? Lance, barely able to stand or remain conscious. Shiro was bound, he tackled Sendak with his entire body, he was... When I close my eyes, I see the purple lightning arcing from Sendak's claws to Shiro's form, his screams, God, his screams- _

"Ah, uh... Hi. What's happening? Where's Sendak, is everyone okay?" My mind grows less and less foggy by the minute, my gaze immediately moving in search for Lance and Shiro. 

Shiro wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me a bit out of my own head, "We got the Castle back. Everyone's alright.” Shiro seems visibly unaffected, if a little tired. I flicker my gaze down to his side, but he isn’t in a Voltron suit, I can’t see any hole.  _ Maybe he was in a pod too, but got out earlier and changed.  _

"So what happened?" Lance asks. Lance looks great, actually, he appears rested and unhurt, if a bit like he just woke up, his hair is tousled and sticking up on one side in a surprisingly endearing manner that gives him a bit of a roguish look.

I hear Allura and Shiro explaining to him what exactly went down, but as soon as I hear  _ Sendak  _ my vision goes thin. I can hear him snarling,  _ ‘I want your Paladin friends to come. I want to break each of you, one at a time, until they know nothing but blood and pain, and you-’ _

I furrow my eyebrows, glancing behind me as I inspect the walls. The lights are back to their ordinary, light Altean blue instead of the dark, menacing crimson, but I keep getting the feeling that we…  _ I'm _ being watched, like needles prickling against my skin. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look over to meet dark grey-violet eyes, interrupting all line of thought. Keith’s gaze is strange, kind of soft, but more anxious like something’s bothering him. He’s wearing that dumb fucking jacket again, but the more I look at it the more intrigued at what kind of witchcraft is involved that Keith’s not only to pull off such a monstrous piece but that it looks  _ good  _ on him. He tilts his head as if to recapture my gaze and immediately I’m balking, like I’m just about to trip over a finish line.  _ Damn, has he always been this... pretty? Oh man, I have  _ **_got_ ** _ to be concussed. _

"You’re shaking." Keith’s voice is soft, almost tentative, and it fills my chest with warmth like liquor.  _ Of course I am. Nothing’s okay right now… but  _ _ I don't need him to think I'm weak. I don't know how much Shiro would've told him, or the others for that matter, about what happened to us but a small selfish part of me hopes that he didn’t breathe a word. No one needs to know what the fuck happened, and I definitely do not want to think about it, nevertheless talk about it. _

I quickly nod, looking straight ahead and making a point out of squaring my shoulders, “Oh, no, I'm fine.”  _ Nailed it, I sounded perfectly lackadaisical. Wait, am I still shaking? _

"Hey, can I go get out of my suit? It's not really all that comfortable." Lance’s voice drags my attention back to the present.

I can feel Keith’s suspicious gaze on the side of my face as I raise my hand in response, "Seconded!"

Shiro chuckles, "Sure thing, we can meet you in the dining room to finish catching you up." 

I take up stride with Lance as we part ways from the others to head back to our rooms. We turn down the hall without a word to one another, but as I look at him,  _ really _ look at him, I see his eyes are distant.  _ I wonder if he was more awake at the time than he’s letting on.  _

"Hey, dude, are you doing okay?" I ask in a soft tone as we walk down the empty hall towards our rooms. Now that we’re alone, I hope that Lance feels more comfortable opening up to me.

Lance nods, looking to the side for a moment as if thinking about his answer, "It's all a little… hazy, after the blast. It kind of bothers me that I don’t remember anything, especially since so much happened.” His gaze falls to the floor, and for a moment I wonder if he’s actually talking to me or if he’s caught up in his own thoughts as he murmurs, “It sounds like I just was getting dragged around like a sack of potatoes, right when you guys needed me…” I watch the corners of his mouth pull upward like they’re tied to a string as he chuckles a little darkly to himself, “... Just sounds like I missed a good time.”

“Hardly.” I answer in kind.  _ I know he’s just trying to joke to keep things from getting serious, but things must be pretty messed up in his head if his jokes are that half-assed.  _ “It’s my fault that you got out of commission.” I’m speaking without thinking, the words are flowing out before I even consider processing them, “You saw Rover. You knew before I ever considered anything was wrong that Rover was about to blow, and you… protected me.” I flicker my gaze over to Lance with a slight frown, something hard lodging itself in my throat as I murmur, “You took the brunt of it, and you probably saved my life in doing so, and I… I don't think I can ever repay you for that."

Lance brushes it off, grinning at me wickedly, "Hey, I'm awesome, of course I did." 

I roll my eyes at him but I can’t find it in me to smile back as we turn down the hall towards our rooms. I peel off to head towards mine, but before I get more than a step away from Lance does he state in a gentler tone, “I’m just glad it worked out, in the end. You know, for both of us.”

I glance back at him over my shoulder. He’s got this little smile on his face, genuine and radiating warmth like sunshine that reaches his eyes, afternoon sun on crystal clear waters. I return his smile with a genuine flash of teeth, “Me too.” Lance gives me a little salute as he turns away to head towards his room down the hall. Still smiling I turn and enter my room. 

It’s strange to enter such a familiar place and seeing that nothing’s changed, even though it’s probably just been a night. Taking my time, I pull off my ripped Voltron suit. I notice that the side of it is crusted in dried blood, from my hip all the way down to my ankle, and as I peel the suit off, flakes of dried blood fall like leaves in autumn to the floor. There’s a tear in the side of my shirt, soaked a dark crimson that’s almost black from long dried blood.  _ I'm going to need a shower, badly, to wash this ordeal off of me. Not that I don't mind, I'd love to scrub my skin clean until I can forget the look of Sendak's eye when he… God, Shiro, I’m so sorry... _

I grab fresh clothes to change into, a gray shirt with the white symbol of Voltron on the front, and my jeans from home. I can't seriously be expected to wear nothing but white and gray pants all the time, there’s no way that the last White Paladin wore white  _ every day,  _ right? With clean clothes at hand, I head towards the showers in nothing but a t-shirt and boxers, the same t-shirt and boxers I wore to see the aliens off and the same t-shirt and boxers I wore into the cryo-pod before the party.  _ Yikes, am I ready to change. _

It's a relief, to get the dried blood off. It’s completely crusted against my skin damn near fucking  _ anywhere,  _ which makes the shower just that much more invigorating. I’m feeling better the more the water pounds my skin. I feel the bit of raised skin as I’m scrubbing the blood off, and when I twist for a better look I see the scar on my side. It’s just to the left of my hip bone about as thick around as my thumb, a light pink against the tan of my skin.  _ Great. I have a scar. Not that I should be surprised, I literally got stabbed, but I was hoping… I guess I thought the healing pod wouldn’t give me scar tissue but apparently I was wrong. That sucks. I wish I didn’t have a physical reminder of…   _

I close my eyes, rinsing off the soap when all of a sudden I hear a clang from outside of the shower, in the first room. I freeze, naked and afraid, as I watch a shadow appear, casting across the opaque glass wall of the first room. 

“Hey, I’m in here!” I shout, hoping to deter whomever just entered the bathroom from entering the second part, the shower room that I’m in. The figure doesn’t move, manifesting a shade into the shower room like something out of HorrorNoodles. My heart starts to pound unexplainably and I slowly hold my breath as I press the door open to see who’s there.

The first room is empty. I'm alone.

I shake it off, returning to the shower and turning off the water.  _ Great, I'm going crazy part two.  _ I retrieve a towel from the third room, shaking my hair dry as I walk back into the first room to get dressed. I feel something prickling the skin between my shoulderblades, like eyes on my back or strings just brushing.  _ I can't get over this feeling that I'm being watched. This is fucking creepy.  _

Suddenly, I feel hot breath ghosting the back of my neck.

I whirl around with a shocked cry, nearly falling over as I'm pulling on my jeans. There's nothing there,  _ again. _

_ Fuck, this shower's fucking haunted, I'm fucking out of here. _

I don't bother pulling my shirt on in the room. I haul ass out of the bathroom as soon as my pants are on, and I don't stop until I'm back in my room, my heart is racing as I slam the door shut.  _ I've seen enough horror movies to know where that was going. Let's avoid that shower next time.  _ I close my eyes, settling myself before I finish drying my hair with my towel.  _ I'm just being paranoid. I'm just tightly wound up after that ordeal, it was nothing. Relax.  _

I pull on my shirt and my socks and shoes, and let out another breath to steel my breathing. Once I’m able to relax, I stand to meet back up with the team.

When I turn the corner towards the dining room, I hear a loud voice calling after me, "Aw, you took a shower? Damn, I didn't think I'd have time." 

I merely laugh as I turn to Lance, giving him a slight smirk, "If this is the time it took you to  _ not  _ shower, then you were probably right."

Lance rolls his eyes at me with a slight smile, but after a beat’s pause he snaps his fingers and turns to me, "Oh, dude, by the way, this is yours, isn't it?” He holds his hand out to me, and as I glance over at him he drops the White Lion’s stone into my palm, “You mentioned it before, the White Lion's thing? I was wearing it when I woke up, I dunno why." 

I pause, clutching the stone in my hand. I remember that moment, looking down at the medallion, at Kevin when he started tugging on it. I didn’t think, I took it off without question as soon as I saw what it was doing and gave it to Lance, hoping and praying that it would work like I thought it was.  _ I was so scared, staring at Lance and wondering if his eyes would ever open again, but here he is, looking at me with beautiful baby blue eyes like nothing ever happened.  _

"When I woke up from the explosion, I had this big gash on the back of my head.” I speak in a low tone, carefully picking my words before I dare to utter them, “It started glowing, and then the gash just… disappeared. So, I gave it to you, hoping it’d do the same." I loop the chain around my neck and let the stone drop to my chest. Kevin lies still, encompassing the stone with his tail by his nose like he never awoke.  _ I’ll never understand what causes him to activate. What’s the key? _

_ Not that I’m looking a gift drone in the eye.  _

"I… thanks, dude.” Lance’s tone is surprised, almost befuddled. I glance out of the corner of my eye to look at him as we turn a corner towards the dining room and see that his eyes are downcast, his hands shoved deep into his pockets all the way to past his wrists. 

“Of course. It’s the least I could’ve done, I can’t have you dying on me while I’m in your debt, you’ll haunt my ass.” I grin a little and poke Lance in the side to ease his discomfort. 

Lance seems to appreciate this, as his lips pull into a wide smirk as he nods, “Hell yeah I would!” We chuckle softly to ourselves, and after a moment’s silence Lance raises an eyebrow at me, “So, when did that start being a thing? With your pendant thingy doing the glowy, healy thingy?” 

I shrug with a genuine huff, “In that moment. I have no fucking clue what this thing is, or what it’s for.” 

“Dude, that's awesome! How come the Blue Lion doesn't get me cool dragon-healing-jewelry like that?" He pouts dramatically with his shoulders slumped.

I can't help but snicker. "Probably because it doesn't like you!"

Lance gasps indignantly, "Hey! Rude! Is that how you treat someone who saves your life?" I roll my eyes, shaking my head with soft chuckles as we walk together into the dining room.

Our friends are congregated in a little huddle by the table, idly chatting with one another. There are two bowls next to each other full of green goo in two chairs on the side, and as we walk in the conversational din dies off as they turn to face us. 

“Whoa, hey, don’t stop on our account!” Lance jokes with his hands up in surrender. 

Shiro gestures to the bowls idly with one hand, his prosthetic resting on his waist in a comfortable manner, “Eat up, build up your strength. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

Lance and I sit down next to one another to eat while the group congregates around us. Hunk sits in the seat across from me with his leg bouncing up and down like it’s about to take off as Shiro leans on the back of my chair. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to see a bowl of green goo in my life. I glance up at Shiro as I begin spooning the goo into my mouth, but his eyes aren’t on me, they’re watching Lance with close scrutiny, like he’s examining for any injuries. When he feels my gaze he glances down at me and offers a slight grin.  

"Thanks for the food." I say after a moment. Allura moves to stand between Lance’s chair and mine with her elbows rested comfortably on each as Pidge plops in a chair next to Hunk opposite of us, his arms resting on the table like he’s about to roll onto his face and fall asleep.

“Any time.” Shiro answers with a soft smile.  _ I’m so glad that you’re alive. _

Lance turns with his spoon at hand, pointing it at Shiro like it’s a projector remote, “So catch me up, what went down?”

“Well, Pidge got Coran and I into a pod, where we went to a Balmera to get a new crystal to power the ship!” Hunk offers helpfully, gesturing to Coran where he stands just behind Allura with his hands behind his back, “It was insane, we crashed as soon as we got there because it was inhabited by Galra, there were  _ so  _ many Galra. I met one of the Balmerans, Shay, and her family, she was really cool, she had such a big heart and she was so curious about everything, she wanted to know about the world outside and-” 

Pidge clears his throat and raises an eyebrow at Hunk with a knowing look. Hunk blinks, and as he continues to speak in a less enraptured tone I can  _ swear  _ that he’s blushing, “They hid us when the Galra came looking for us. It took me a bit to do some repairs and for Coran and Shay to find a crystal big enough to power the Castle, but then she helped us load it up like that wasn’t already enough…” Hunk rests his broad chin in one of his hands with a wistful expression, gazing off to the side, “It was so… brave. I’ve never seen people so willingly drop everything to help some strangers. Well, except for Shay’s brother, Rax, he didn’t like us at all. He told the Galra we were there, you know to protect his family, it was a whole mess.” Hunk crosses his arms over the table with a slight frown cast downward at its surface, “We escaped with the crystal, and made it back about half a day after you guys got the Castle back.”

Lance spoons some goo into his mouth with a dramatic eyebrow raise, “Yikes.”

“Wait a second,” I hold up a finger once I swallow down my food, raising an eyebrow, “Half a day? What day is it?” 

The group’s quiet for a moment, their gaze flickering at one another in expressions like  _ how much should we tell them?  _ Lance catches onto it immediately, narrowing his eyes and pointing with his spoon in a wide arc, “It hasn’t been, like, a month or something, has it?” 

“No, nothing like that!” Coran speaks with the usual pep in his tone, his back as straight as an arrow as he regards Lance and I, “When Hunk and I arrived it was the dawn of the day following the attack, yesterday. By early evening Shiro awakened, and then this morning came you two.”

I balk a little, letting my spoon rest on the side of the bowl, “We were out for a whole day?”

“Well, technically about a day and a few varga- But don’t worry, we kept you on rotation, fortunately your injuries were recovered from critical in only a varga so there was no stress on the occupation limit.” Coran held up a finger with a knowing twitch in his silvery mustache right as Shiro politely cuts him off, “What matters is that we’re all okay, and ready to get back on course to leaving Arus.” 

Lance pouts a little beside me in a contemplative manner as he regards his goo, “So, Hunk and Coran went and got a crystal. How was it that Sendak was able to get into the Castle in the first place?” 

A lump lodges in my throat, immediate guilt washing over me like a horrible heatwave.  _ It was me. I fucked up, and Haxus got his knife to my throat to distract Shiro long enough for Sendak to knock him out. I’m the reason Shiro and Lance almost fucking died.  _

“Keith and I went to the Arusian village to defend them from the attack at their king’s behest,” Allura’s gentle, commanding voice cuts into my thoughts, her expression slightly sheepish as her azure gaze flickers off to the side, “It turns out that it was a set up, to separate us and get us out of the Castle.” 

I look down at my bowl to spoon another mouthful only to be confronted face to face with a little pointed nose and milky blue eyes. One of the Altean mice is sitting in front of my bowl with a fistful of green goo in its tiny fist, staring at me with wide eyes with the most  _ caught-red-handed  _ sort of expressions I’ve ever seen a weird looking mouse make. I point a spoon at it with an intimidating glare, causing it to roll away to the other side and steal off of Lance’s plate instead. 

“As soon as Sendak separated us, he entered the Castle and took over the system with his own crystal to hand deliver it and the Lions to Zarkon.” Allura continues with a dark tone. I feel the skin on the back of my neck begin to burn as I intentionally hyperfixate on the green goo.  _ It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault _ . “By the time Keith and I returned, he already had the particle barrier active.” 

I nearly jump out of my seat as Keith speaks, sitting on the table beside me with his arms crossed, “Pidge was working on taking the Castle out of commission from the inside, but Sendak had too many sentries for Pidge to be able to take the particle barrier down.” Keith juts his chin to one of the Altean mice, lying on its back next to Lance’s bowl with green goo around its mouth, “Allura used her connection to the Altean mice to dismantle the particle barrier so we could get inside.”  _ He’s like a shadow, I had no clue that he’s sitting right next to me. I’m too wrapped up in my own head to focus effectively. Wake the fuck up, Lancaster. _

Allura nods in affirmation, fixing Lance with a bright eyed smile, "It’s true, but we never would’ve been able to have the opportunity had Pidge not been able to shut down the launch sequence. You'd still be Sendak's prisoner if it wasn't for Pidge!" 

Pidge shrugs with surprising modesty as he looks down without a change of expression at his hands. "Well, you wouldn't have survived the explosion if Hunk and Coran hadn't gotten a new crystal." Now that I see Pidge’s face in full, since it’s not buried in his arms, I feel something catch in my throat. There’s some light missing in his eyes, like a fallen puzzle piece, but I can’t quite place what exactly is gone. But it’s something significant enough to effect Pidge’s expression, that’s usually carefully guarded and steely, and expose the hole it left behind. 

Lance flashes a bright grin, "Wow, thanks everybody!” He glances over at Keith over my shoulder and raises an eyebrow with a teasing smirk, “But it sounds like the mice did more than  _ you _ , though." The little mouse collapsed on its back waves at Lance cheerfully before its little arm falls limp at its side in a full on food coma.

Keith blinks and holds out his arms with an incredulous shout, "I  _ punched  _ Sendak!"

Lance scoffs dismissively, "Yeah, apparently after I emerged from a coma and shot him!" He spoons some green goo into his mouth with an unimpressed expression.

Keith balks a little as his eyebrows furrow as he despairs, "But…! We had a bonding moment!  _ I cradled you in my arms! _ " He holds out his arms as if they're evidence to the action. I try my best not to laugh as I instead shove the last of my green goo into my mouth. 

Lance merely scoffs, "Nope, don't remember. Didn’t happen." Keith balks, his expression mixed with hurt and frustration as Lance shrugs him off and eats another spoonful of goo. "So, what happened to Sendak?" Lance says as he turns to Allura where she rests between us.

"He's being held in a cryo-pod in the detainment room. We're keeping him here in the Castle." Allura states in a matter of fact tone. Immediate fear spikes through my veins to the point that I have to set down my spoon in my bowl with a  _ clink _ .

Lance seems to get the same feeling as I do, his eyebrows furrowing with a worried tone, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Allura's gaze darkens, "He's too dangerous to be set free." She leans one hand on the table as she continues with a more charismatic tone, "Besides, we may be able to get some information about Zarkon from him."

I furrow my eyebrows and worm my hands into my lap, gripping the edge of my shirt and tugging on it as I murmur, "He's too dangerous to be kept here, too.” Allura raises an eyebrow at me but I can’t find the courage to meet her eyes. Instead I fix my gaze on my hands, twisting them in my lap as I speak, slowly, cautiously, “Maybe... we should just kill him."

The other go incredibly quiet, and after a moment of long, deadly silence Hunk looks at me incredulously, "Dude, what? That's the last thing I thought you'd ever say."

"Yeah," Pidge says with wide eyes at me, "You broke down crying because you were worried about the casualties from that Galra ship! What changed?"

I can’t help but bristle a little as Allura continues to speak with a matter-of-fact tone, "Sendak is being held in stasis, and he cannot break out of it." Allura pauses, and when I turn to look up at her I see nothing but sadness and disappointment, "Violence is never the answer, it is the Altean way. I thought you of all people understood that." I feel my gaze fall to my bowl of food goo as uncomfortable silence settles over the table like a cold, dusky mist.  _ What changed? _

_ What changed? _

_ It changed when Sendak nearly tortured me to death. It changed when he planned to do the same to Shiro, to Lance. It changed when I thought I was going to die without saying goodbye to my friends and family, it changed because I now know the face of the enemy in this war. It changed because I know that the reason they have been a dominating empire for the last thousand years is because they only see the conquerors and the conquered, and to them we’re nothing but something to crush beneath their feet. _

_ Everything has changed.  _

Lance clears his throat uncomfortably, "So, what's the plan now?"

Hunk speaks up immediately, his jaw set and his gaze determined, "We have to get back to the Balmera and save Shay and her people!" 

Lance raises an eyebrow in amusement, "Wow, you are really hung up on this lady!"

Hunk huffs, his cheeks turning a little rosy, "No, it's not like that! Look, guys, when you see how Zarkon has treated these people and destroyed their home..." His gaze becomes distant and far away, "They've been under his thumb for so long that they don't know what it is to be free!" Hunk speaks with tangible compassion, one hand clamped into a fist over his palm as his eyebrows furrow. _Of course they do. How could one even hold an illusion of freedom when someone’s heel is on your throat, especially for a thousand years._ _Everything has changed._ "It's up to us to set things right. This is what being a Paladin of Voltron is all about!” I can see the nods of the others out of the corner of my vision as Hunk’s hand rests on the table, his expression fierce and powerful, “It's time to man up."

The others shift, roused by Hunk's speech with mixed expressions of determination. I feel Shiro pull away from behind my chair, and I can hear his proud, parental smile as he declares, "Alright then, time to go defend the universe." Something cold clenches around my stomach, like icy fingers wearing metal bands.  _ How is he so… alright? He was there. He suffered what I suffered, but I feel like I woke up as someone completely different, someone jaded out of fear and anger. How is he so… normal? Am I just weak?  _

Slowly I rise as the others shift together towards the exit, leaving my empty plate of goo behind as we move.  _ I'm eager to be inside the White Lion again. I need to be somewhere where I feel powerful, in control.  _

Suddenly, just before the door opens, Pidge speaks up from behind me, "Wait.” 

We pause and turn back to look at him. He’s standing just by the table, his hand resting on the smooth white surface with his hazel eyes glued to the ground, sheepish and uncomfortable, “I have something to say first. I need to come clean." His gaze is on the floor and his eyebrows are drawn together in worry, or perhaps fear? Immediately something surges in my chest, worry, protectiveness, and the first words that I want to say on the tip of my tongue are  _ we’re here for you.  _

"I'm afraid this may change the way you all think about me.. But just so there's no more secrets between us." Pidge's gaze is glued to the floor, his eyes wide as he swallows dryly, "I can't  _ 'man up' _ …  I'm a girl."

I blink as Pidge continues at a quick pace, her face beginning to burn in embarrassment that progresses at the speed of her words, "I mean, I can 'man up' because that's a figure of speech, I don't actually have to be a man to 'man up', I just have to be tough. But what I'm saying i-"

Lance cries out immediately, his eyes flying wide, "Wa-What?! You've been a girl!? All this time?!  _ Without telling us?! _ "

Allura smiles quietly, her gaze is gentle, "I've known for some time, but I'm glad you've shared it with everyone."

Hunk doesn't even seem phased, merely shrugging, "Yeah, I figured." 

Keith smiles a little at the corner of his mouth, "Oh yeah, me too."

Coran blinks stupidly from Allura’s side, "Wait, we were supposed to think that you were a boy?"

Shiro bears a smile that reaches above and beyond his eyes, "Pidge, owning who you are is going to make you a better Paladin. I’m happy you feel comfortable enough to tell us."

The news washes over me, and I feel a wide, brilliant grin blooming on my face. 

_ I'm… Pidge is trans. She is also trans. I’ve never met someone else who is trans too. This is… oh my god, this is  _ **_amazing!_ **

Like a 180 switch I let out a whoop of joy and wrap an arm around Pidge's shoulders, " _ I knew it! _ I knew I couldn't be the only queer on this ship!"

Pidge and the other visibly balk, "Huh?" She blinks at me with wide eyes. 

I point to myself excitedly,  _ this must be exactly what dogs feel like when they see other dogs on the street,  _ "I know exactly what you're talking about, Pidge, I'm trans, too!" I grin, feeling suddenly so wild and giddy that my heart soars through space and time, 

Pidge blinks for a brief moment before a sudden, wild smile rips across her face, "Whoa, wait, _ what? _ " She breaks into the widest grin I've ever seen, and for a moment we literally just soak up each other's joy like flowers bathing in sunlight. 

I rest my hands on her shoulders on a more serious note, but even as I attempt to settle I can’t help but continue to grin at her without borders, "I’m sorry, I was just excited to have something in common with you." I clear my throat, reeling back my enthusiasm as I give her a gentle, brotherly look, "And if you need any advice, or just wanna talk, I'm always here for you. Thank you for letting us in."

Pidge lets out a breath, a relieved smile stretching across her face, "Thanks, Will. Whew, it's good to get that off my chest.” I release her shoulders as her gaze flickers to each one of us, and I feel my heart swell just by seeing just how much more  _ relaxed  _ she looks. She literally looks like she just stepped out of a rigid shell, and is ready to stretch her arms over her head and conquer the world.  _ I’m so happy you’re happy.  _

“Now, let's launch this Castle-ship!" Pidge grins excitedly and marches out of the door, the others turning to follow her without a second thought. Lance takes a beat, staring after Pidge with wide eyes before his gaze flickers to me, "Whah, what?! Pidge is a girl, and the Castle is a ship? How long have I been out?" 

I roll my eyes at Lance and clap him on the back as I steer him towards the exit, “Not long enough, apparently.” He jostles my arm playfully with an added snicker.

As we walk down the hallway, the banter is reinvigorated with additional energy like nothing I’ve ever seen, the halls are literally echoing with Hunk, Pidge, Allura, and Shiro’s enthusiastic voices. Much to my surprise Lance hangs back with me, watching with a giddy grin but after a moment glances over at me with a look I can’t quite describe, “Sorry, look, okay, I know this sounds stupid… but what was that you called Pidge earlier?”

I blink at him stupidly, “Trans?”

Lance nods, snapping his fingers right as his voice drops into a lower register, “... What does that mean?” 

I take a beat just to stare at Lance incredulously, “Seriously? You’ve never met someone who’s transgender?”

Lance bites his lip, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, “Oh,  _ that’s  _ what… I mean, no, it’s just… I don’t know, I know it’s a thing but I never really understood it, but I didn’t know anyone like that so I never bothered, but now since there’s apparently two of you…” 

I chuckle dryly, shoving my hands into my pockets, "I can only speak for myself, but I can give you the general overview?”

Lance nods quickly with a bit of a wide eyed expression, “Yes please.”

I mess with a piece of lint in my pocket as I speak, choosing my words as carefully as I can, “Someone who’s transgender is someone who’s born with a gender assignment that doesn’t actually align with their actual gender. How someone expresses their gender varies, like for a cisgender guy, like you, Shiro, Keith, Hunk, you express your gender in a traditionally masculine way, and that aligns to the gender you were assigned when you were born. Being trans your expression and your self perception of who you are isn’t the same as what was assigned to you. So like, for a trans person what level of comfort they have in their body also varies what levels of transitioning, body image, and span of the spectrum they identify with so that they can get that sense of comfort that cisgender people have that their gender expression matches the gender they’re perceived has.” 

I point to myself but before I can speak, I feel myself stall. It’s a habit, the familiar lead stone’s lodging in the base of my throat; I hate outing myself to cisgender people who thought I was cis, too. It always leaves me feeling deeply terrified that they no longer see me as a man, but as a girl who became a man. I know that isn’t true most of the time, but almost always this always changes how they act around me, and that  _ hurts.  _ I don’t want it to be like that with Lance… but I already mentioned I was trans, I said it out loud just a hot minute before.  _ Of course I did, I wanted to support Pidge and show her that she’s not alone and that we have each other… but I obviously didn’t think about the ramifications.  _

_ Fuck, it’s too late now. Just spill all the beans. _ “So for example, I was born with the identification of girl, but I'm not a girl.” I continue after a few seconds of hesitation, and as my gaze flickers over to Lance I’m shocked at how attentive he is, he’s listening deeply, his gaze fixed on mine with such rapt focus I’m a little surprised. I clear my throat and choose my words carefully, “... Because of my specific gender identification I had a very clear-cut ‘girl to boy’ kind of transition, which is easier for most people to understand because most people have an idea of gender being a one or the other sort of thing, but that’s not really true. Some people don’t identify with any gender, others identify with many, others identify as a place in the middle between masculine and feminine, so basically it’s very much a person by person basis. So like, whatever Pidge feels is right for her is right for her. If she says she’s a girl, then she’s a girl, and I’m gonna refer to her by whatever makes her the most comfortable.” 

Lance’s gaze falls to the floor with a pensive frown, I can see questions bouncing around in his head. I raise my hands up in surrender, “But I’m not an expert or anything… that’s just a basic introduction, I guess, there’s still a shit ton more but that’s kind of a lot of information...”

Lance blinks for a solid ten to fifteen seconds before he speaks in a soft murmur, “... So… how do I act around Pidge, now? Like…”

“She’s just a girl.” I answer with a lackadaisical shrug, “That’s what she said, so that’s how you should treat her. I, personally, am going to use she and her pronouns to refer to her because that’s what you do for girls, and well… that’s basically it. She’s the same Pidge you knew before, nothing about her has changed. She just let us in on a part of herself, and we should respect that.” 

Lance is quiet for a moment before he nods, mostly to himself, “... Yeah, I can respect that.” 

As we approach the bridge of the ship I elbow him a little with a bright smirk, “You? Respect women?” 

Lance nods, straightening his spine with a huff, “Of course! I eat respecting-women-goo everyday!” 

I facepalm with a loud groan, “God,  _ shut it _ .” Lance merely laughs like an enthused imp.

We filter into the command center as a group. There is a new crystal adorned in the ceiling above Allura's circle, it’s just as large as the last but this one is shaped a little differently, more like a centerpiece to a dome rather than a decorative, chandelier type thing like the last. I find myself inspecting the walls, even though they glow the same neon blue as they always have I can’t help but see a faint glow of red beneath it, almost like the blue’s trying to cover it up. There are divots in the wall, divots I know came from the shards of the former crystal, the shards that were the sole light in the room until Sendak came. The floors are spotless, not even a trace of the amount of blood Shiro and I shed,  _ I wonder who had the honor of mopping up my mess. _ Just thinking about the experience gives me a slight ache in my side. I looked when I was rinsing the dried blood off in the shower, there’s nothing on my hip to show what happened, not even a scar… but I have a feeling that the ghostly ache is doing to pop up and persist for a while.

“So, how do we fire up the Castle?” Shiro asks Allura as we enter, his expression morphing from quietly enthused to serious and fatherly, back to the usual. 

“Remotely it takes some time, but with all of you here it only takes a few moments.” Allura replies as her pillars rise from the floor within her circle and meet her palms like loyal bloodhounds.  _ That is where Allura trapped Sendak. This is where it began, and where it ended.  _

Six chairs rise from the floor scattered around the room with a soft, consistent hum reverberating through the space. Each seat is painted with the colors of our lions: red, blue, green, yellow, black, and white. The white chair is furthest to the back, with Keith’s red chair on my right  and Lance’s blue further to the right, sitting parallel with Allura and just before the stairs leading down into Coran’s section at the brow. The same is true on the left, Pidge’s green chair closest to my right and Hunk’s yellow farther to the right, each side mirror images of the other. Shiro’s seat is in the space between Allura’s circle and Coran’s frontward station on a raised platform just below Allura’s feet, and just about at Coran’s waist.  _ Head of Voltron, makes sense he’s at the front of the ship.  _

“Find your seats! We’ve changed the language on your consoles for you, so that shouldn’t be a problem while we begin the launch sequence!” Coran calls helpfully as he skips to the front of the ship, he’s practically jiggling like jello he’s so full of energy. 

We break as a group to our individual chairs. They’re much like the pilot seats within our lions, forward facing and deep-set for comfort and optimal attention spans. However, on the arms on either side of the seats, are holographic panels, like the panels at my bedside. I slide into my seat and touch one, immediately projecting a hologram dangling in front of me like a donut on a string. There are several bar graphs that slide up and down at periodic intervals with labels attached to the bottoms for each bar, such as ‘Life Support’, ‘Particle Barrier’, ‘Main Power’, ‘Thrusters’, and so many more that I lose count.  _ Oh God, I hope I’m not in charge of all of these things.  _

“In order to launch, each of you has to enter your code that grants your consent for certain actions, such as powering up the wormhole or engaging in liftoff.” Allura’s voice is hinged with excitement, her hands fluttering across her holographic screens like butterflies attracted to a hydrangea bush. A popup emerges in front of all the bar graphs that litter my screen that reads ‘Clear to Launch?’ with a clear space beneath, to type in the code no doubt. 

“What’s the code?” Pidge asks from my left, tilting her head to the side as she straightens her glasses. 

Allura offers a secretive smirk, “The nickname you’ve given your lions.” 

“But what if you haven’t given your lion a nickname?” Hunk raises his hand towards Allura like one would to ask the teacher a question. 

Allura turns towards Hunk with a hand hovering over a popup on her hologram, much like ours save it’s in Altean, “It’s the name that you refer to your lion as while you’re pilot it.” 

I raise an eyebrow and tap in on the keyboard below, which is astonishingly in American English format much to my distinct pleasure, ‘S-I-L-V-E-R’. The popup fades with a joyful, quiet dinging noise as the hologram closing with a whirr.  _ Well, that’s pretty cool.  _

“So how do you know what we call our lions?” I ask out of curiosity, shifting in my seat to lean against the back comfortably. 

Allura glances back at me over her shoulder, “Your lions told me.” 

I blink stupidly for a solid minute. “... Sorry, what?”

“We’re ready to launch, Princess!” Coran cries from the front of the ship, cutting into the conversation. Allura turns back to face the front, pressing her palms to the pillars by her sides and immediately the Castle roars to life, jostling us in our seats like a personal, powerful, intense earthquake. Much to my surprise I’m not afraid of the jostling, like I was when Keith blasted us off the planet the day we arrived, instead I find myself leaning forward in my seat and gluing my gaze to the glass to watch our ascent with bated, excited breath.

Boulders break from the rock face below, the stones that held the Castle in place for a thousand years, as the thrusters roar, launching us into the air. It feels a lot like a plane lifting off, from the whooshing air outside to the rising and falling of my stomach, but with a lot more jostling than I was expecting. I stare out the windows in wonder as the red rocks below fall away, the clouds growing closer and closer until we break the cloud line, continuing to ascend. Seconds later, we are breaking the atmosphere of the planet and immediately welcomed by outer space, like the beginning of a much anticipated movie. Beyond the glass surrounding us are so many stars that my breath is stolen at the pure nothingness of it all, and even though this is the third time that I’ve been to space it fills me with such a childlike sense of wonder that I feel my jaw falling open.  _ Wow. I don't think I will ever get used to this. Also, wow, I’ve been to space  _ **_three times._ ** _ My parents are probably getting goosebumps like a ghost on their back with their innate sense of ability to say ‘I told you so’.  _

Outside of Arus’ gravitational field, the Castle's noise and movement has been reduced to a quiet hum, the thrusters dwindling in power, save only to guide us in a particular direction. The others rise from their seats with deep stretches once we’re completely still and stable. Hunk and Pidge immediately race down to the front of the ship, and I can vaguely hear them asking Coran about the guidance system as Lance kicks back in his seat, his arms rested behind his head as he watches the pair at the front of the ship. I watch Shiro rise at the front, turning backwards to face me and as soon as our gazes lock I know immediately what’s on Shiro’s mind. I can see the flicker in his gaze filled with worry, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallows, and as he makes his way back towards me I know exactly why.  _ Sendak. He wants to either talk about what happened to us, ask me if I’m alright, or even worse he’s going to express his own surprise and/or disappointment about what I said earlier, just like Allura, Hunk, and Pidge. I want to know that he’s okay, but there’s no way that he’s going to give me a satisfying answer right now, among the others, so soon after it’s happened. I can’t talk about it right now. Divert attention.  _

Shiro pauses as I rise from my seat, stretching with my arms over my head, "Hey, Will, about-"

I turn towards him with a fake expression of exhaustion, "Please don’t tell me that you’re seeking a gender theory lesson. I would’ve thought you would at least have a base education about it. "

Shiro's eyes grow wide in surprise, "What? No, I wasn't..." His gaze morphs slowly, fixing me with a mixture of softness and quiet tranquility as he murmurs, "No, nothing like that. But, I am happy that Pidge has you to look up to. You're a good mentor."

I feel a lump in my throat, feeling my cheeks flush a deep red, "I..." I don't know why, but it's something about Shiro's gaze that fills me with an unceasing sense of warmth, like a shot of whiskey that infused straight into my veins, pulsing into my fingertips. “... Thank you, Shiro.” I finally mutter, giving him a slight smile.  _ ‘You’re a good mentor.’ Honestly, it’s flattering… but I don’t think that that’s at all true.  _

_ Especially after literally everyone in the room gave me looks of horror like my skin turned purple and I sprouted fangs just a few minutes ago. _

Shiro opens his mouth as if to say something with a more serious look on his face, but before he can Hunk turns to the back of the ship with a projecting tone, "You hear that, guys? We’re about a half hour out from the Balmera!” 

I immediately seize upon the opportunity to walk away from Shiro, striding down to the level below to cluster around Hunk. I feel a stone of guilt settling in my stomach for feeling relief that I avoided the situation, but I try to ignore it as best as I can as I move to sit down on the stairs, one foot posted up on the stair below me with my back against the wall just below Allura’s circle. I cross my arms comfortably over my chest as the others gather in a loose cluster in the area, Pidge turning away from Coran and sitting just a step below me. Hunk strides up past us to go to his seat, typing some commands into his console with a furrowed gaze as Keith and Lance move down to join us. Shiro stands at the top of the stairs, quickly followed by Keith as he leans on the railing to Shiro’s right just a step above me. Lance plops down on my stair with a lazy recline of his long legs out in front of him, taking up damn near the rest of the stairwell. I kick his foot playfully, but he only responds by practically starfishing with his arms swung wide. I smack his arms back to his sides as he snickers in amusement.

“So when we get to the Balmera," Hunk begins getting right to down business, striding back towards us and standing at the top of the stairs, "What do you think? Do we just roll up and start blasting? Or do we land and have some kind of public address system, like  _ 'Attention Galras, this is Voltron, turn yourselves in!' _ ?" 

No one responds for a moment, and Hunk awkwardly looks around from his position at the top of the small stairs leading to the front of the command center, his hands on his waist in a heroic fashion, "Or, just blasting?"

Keith holds out both of his hands towards Hunk in an almost mocking calming gesture, "Hunk, calm down. And yes. Blasting." He points at Hunk with a thumb and forefinger as if case in point.

Shiro chuckles, crossing his arms comfortably over his chest with an amused glint in his eyes as he tilts his head towards Hunk, "It's our first big rescue mission, he's excited!"

Pidge rolls her head upside down from where she sits with her back to Hunk, grinning wickedly, "Excited to see his new  _ girlfriend _ ." She croons, and I make an appreciative  _ OOOOoo someone's in loooove~ _ noise in response, as one does.

Hunk’s nose curling immediately, but a definite blush burning across his deep chestnut skin, "She's not my girlfriend! She's just a rock that I met and admire very much!"

Before we can tease Hunk further, the bridge’s sound system makes a loud beeping noise, shrouding us in interval flashes of red. We all pause as Allura frowns, typing at her hologram and then flicking her wrist outward to the front, projecting her hologram onto the big screen. I twist about on the stairwell to see what the fuss is about.

Allura projected a wide space, with illustrations of constellations in the background and distant star systems. The Castle is a blue sphere in the center, and off to the right is a red, pinging arrow. It looks to be far from our position, but as we travel the closer the arrow gets to the Castle.  _ Good, or bad?  _

Shiro turns to Coran at the front of the ship with the same thought in mind, "What is it? Are we being attacked?"

Coran shakes his head as he regards the red arrow with his chin in his fingertips, "No, it seems to be a distress beacon!"

Allura rests her hands on her pillars as she regards the map, her expression pensive, "It appears to be coming from a nearby moon. Apparently, a ship has lost power."

Pidge touches her chin thoughtfully, "I wonder who it is."

Hunk’s gaze set with his hands on his waist as he curtly declares, "Whoever it is will have to wait. Shay has first priority! We'll check back in on them when we're done."

Immediately Allura shakes her head at Hunk with a firm expression, "The Paladin code states that we must help  _ all _ of those in need."

I nod, jutting a thumb at Allura as I turn to Hunk, "I agree with Allura. Besides, they may have been there for days! And, who knows how long it will take to liberate the Balmeran people? We have to at least check that they're alright since we’re already here." Allura glances over at me with a raised eyebrow and for a dark moment I wonder if she’s thinking  _ ‘Wow, you still have a heart after all’. _

Hunk grumbles under his breath but relents, throwing his hands in the air. Lance stands up from where he was sitting on the stairs with an enthusiastic bounce, "Wow! This is so cool! It's like we're space cops on space patrol!" Lance takes a long stride to the bottom of the stairs with his hands on his hips, "Coran, do we have a siren we can turn on?"

Coran looks over his shoulder at Lance with utter confusion, "Uh, no? But we could record you making a siren noise and broadcast it to them?"

"Perfect!" Lance takes a deep breath and begins making an ungodly sound, like a dying cow that causes us all to immediately make noises and expressions of true displeasure. Shiro immediately turns to him and claps a hand over his mouth, "Nope, not doing that." He states firmly.

I rest an elbow on my knee, smirking at Lance with a raised eyebrow, "That's your impression of a siren? You sound like a shrieking moose yelling down a highway." 

Lance crosses his arms indignantly as Shiro pulls his hand away from his mouth, retorting with a whining tenor, "Hey! I think that my siren is good! Don't you think so, Hunk?" 

Hunk merely shakes his head quickly, looking sheepishly the other way like he didn’t notice his own answer. With a betrayed expression Lance turns to Pidge, who immediately preoccupies herself by typing away at the holographic screen in her suit, looking incredibly busy. Lance huffs, crossing his arms, "You guys suck."

"No, I think it's your siren noise that sucks." Keith counters with a wry grin beside me with his elbows resting on the railing. I immediately snicker, giving Lance an impish look with an implied  _ Ooo burn _ . Lance grumbles under his breath, something about getting his suit on, and leaves us with a general look of distaste. I turn with another laugh and meet Keith's gaze, and my laughter suddenly gets lodged in my throat like a sponge.  _ Why is he looking at me like I just grew two heads? Oh god, did I laugh too hard? Oh god, my gay is showing, quick, Will, act natural. _

I turn away from him like nothing happened,  _ because nothing did happen it’s just a look there’s no need to look too much into it. Fuck I’m looking too much into it. He’s probably thinking the same thing as Allura, like, ‘wow, talking about murder one minute and then laughing like a normal person the next, how weird.’  _ I feel Keith's gaze morph into something like confusion as I cough abruptly, "Yeah, what Lance said, I think we should get our suits on so we can go down to meet them." 

Shiro nods in agreement, "Good idea, let's all do that." Allura and Coran busy themselves effectively as we stride off the bridge, preparing the Castle to land on the moon with the stranded spacecraft. I head to my room and pull out a fresh Voltron suit from one of my drawers, taking off my pants to pull it on overtop instead. Just like before it all happened my armor rests in the corner of my room, polished and clean like a new car.  _ There isn't a trace of blood on this thing. I need to find out who did that and thank them, because damn, that job must have really sucked. _

I pull my helmet on once my armor is donned, and as I exit my room and head towards the hangers I hear Allura’s voice broadcasting from the Castle, "Attention damaged craft, this is Princess Allura. We are coming to assist you." The thrum of the Castle's thrusters ignite, no doubt as we begin to land, causing the halls to tremble but not terribly, it’s more like an overall shake that’s easy to accomodate for. I head towards the hanger to meet up with the others.

_ Good thing we’re going to be busy for at least a little while, saving people and whatnot. Easy to distract myself that way. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** This chapter's a little shorter than usual bc if i didn't stop it here, it would be way longer than usual, so might as well split it up. Hope you enjoyed the read, and again I apologize 23948923849348 times for how cringy my self insertion is, but ya know what? I'm thriving on it rn and nobody can stop me.   
> \---  
> I revised this about 2 days later, taking away some transitions because I m gonna explain all the fucking shit in between, because that's where Voltron as a TV show went all wrong was failing to explain and show the necessary shit, like relationships etc! It is no longer short.  
> \---   
> I revised this again bc I realized I totally forgot some important dialogue and ran in to include it.
> 
>  
> 
> -tense edited as of 10/22/18-
> 
> Finished 10/14/18**


	11. Our First Rescue Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will is forever marred by the effects of being held captive by Sendak. Just having the alien on board, in stasis or not, fills him with anger and anxiety. He can feel that the experience changed him, and now the team notices, especially Keith. The team has grown closer by the experience, especially since Will and Lance have more than moved on from the tension after that first day. As Team Voltron helps two crashed aliens on a remote moon in the outer reaches of spaces, Keith and Will compare their experiences... and how they have changed.

I meet up with Allura and the rest of the team in the main hanger to go to the surface of the moon together. I walk in just after Allura, striding in with high brow confidence and her boots thumping on the smooth, white floors in a commanding manner towards what looks like a decorative circle in the center of the hanger. It was where we all stood to hail the Black Lion, which feels like years ago, now. The others are collected in the middle, putting on the rest of their armor as Allura waves her hand over her forearm, summoning a hologram and typing in several commands. With a hiss of steam, we all start as the circle's outer edges rise up like a rising platform, beneath it a pair of doors open into a circular space that looks like an elevator. It stills with another burst of steam, and Allura enters in a purposeful march and she’s at the doorway she turns back to look at us with a gesture to the contraption around her, "This is the surface projector. It'll take us down to the crashed vessel."

_ I appreciate that she attempts to explain the different, and crazy technologies that the Castle has, even though they must seem normal to her.  _ I give her a slight smile of appreciation as we collectively enter the surface projector. It’s the perfect size for our small party, fortunately, and when we’re all within Allura closes the door using the panel within the projector. With some short releases of air we descend, the inside of the room is eerie and silent save for our collective breath. Movement catches the corner of my eye and I turn to see the others are reaching up to their helmets and tapping the sides, their visors falling down into a seal and activating the oxygen converters in their suits.  I blink and realize I should do the same,  _ who knows what kind of environment this moon has, after all. _  I finish doing so just when the door opens, and the air inside the projector hisses outward like a horse out of a gate.

Before us stands a ship about as big as a moderate house back on Earth, several crates stacked up all around it with a bonfire pit off in its midsts. Two aliens and a robot stand around this fire, and they rise when they spot us. One alien has purple, velvety skin, like a violet flower, and white hair tucked under an aviator-like cap. He (or at least, he appeared in all ways like a male does on Earth, but I cannot say for certain as he is an alien) has a brown vest on, linen wrappings around his middle and his wrists, and a thick belt around his waist with all manner of tools attached to them. The other alien appears female-esque with skin like honey, her skin is as smooth as a seal’s. She has large ears, like a cocker spaniel's, that hangs over her shoulders, and rather big mahogany eyes with no whites; they're all chestnut irises and pupils, like the eyes of a dog. Her clothes are blue, wrapped around her chest in intricate folds with baggy pants that taper like joggers down to her ankles. I wonder how they don't need space-suits to be in empty space like this. _  Maybe the space isn't as empty as it looks? They do have a fire going, there must be something that allows that to be a thing... Or maybe they're just aliens, and require different conditions so they don’t have to wear them?  _ The robot next to them is shaped just like a mailbox except with two track feet like they have on tanks.

The purple alien pulls what looks like a toothpick he was chewing on out of his mouth to speak, breaking my thoughts, "You don't know how glad we are to see some friendly faces!" He has a husky voice that croons, like a soul singer's, "Most people don't wanna get tangled up with people who are on the run from the Galra!" 

_ On the run from the Galra?  _

_ Wow, well, first of all that seems like a very risky thing to say right out of the gate. Secondly, so there _ **_is_ ** _ a resistance to the Empire. I mean, that makes perfect sense, I’ve seen first hand what the Empire’s capable of, but based on Allura's description of the totality of the Empire's control… it's a little surprising that someone would outright admit something like that. _

I raise an eyebrow as Keith speaks up, voicing my exact thoughts with an equally confused tone, "You guys are fighting the Galra?"

The purple alien shrugs, holding a wrench, which has with several moving cogs along its side, in one hand lazily, "Well, I doubt Zarkon is exactly quaking in his boots at the three of us, but we do what we can. I'm Rolo," The alien juts a thumb at himself before pointing to his yellow-skinned companion, "This is Nyma," Rolo points to the android that stands beside them, and I notice endearingly that it has little cat-like ears that move to match a round screen for a face, which seems to project emoticons like expressions, "And this is our cyber unit, Beezer."

Both Lance and Pidge move forward towards the new companions before any of us can speak. Pidge immediately kneels beside Beezer with a starry look in her eyes, gasping like a true nerd, "Whoa, cool robot!" Beezer makes a whirring noise and turns a little to regard Pidge with what looks like a confused emoji. 

Lance wastes no time in introducing himself to Nyma, bowing down and kissing her surprisingly large hand, "Hi! Name's Lance." He uses the same voice that he uses with Allura, cocking an eyebrow up at Nyma with a charming grin. Nyma giggles and touches her other hand over her mouth, turning her head to the side almost in an abashed manner. I can't help but facepalm the front of my visor and groaning softly.  _ Can you stand to not be so painfully heterosexual for two goddamn seconds, Lance, for fucks sake- _

Shiro interrupts my thoughts as he addresses Rolo, "Was your ship damaged in a fight?"

Rolo's expression flashes in surprise before it immediately returns to neutral, "Yeah. We've really been through it with the Galra. Parts are hard to come by." Rolo looks up at his ship, and the more I look at it the more it reminded me of a bus than a spaceship, "Luckily, we were able to limp to this moon about a week ago." He turns to us with what looks like a warm gaze, his eyebrows turning up in a rather human manner, “If you didn't pick up our distress signal, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

Allura clasps over her heart, "We're happy to help.” Rolo nods appreciatively as Allura’s hands fall to her sides, fixing him with an amicable look, “I am Princess Allura of Altea, and from now on you won't be alone fighting the Galra." Allura gestures to us with one hand, her voice rising like she's delivering a speech, "You'll have the Paladins of Voltron by your side!"

Rolo raises an eyebrow at us, briefly glancing over at Lance, who is chatting up Nyma indistinctly behind him, and Pidge, who is now fawning over a panel on Beezer's square back as it turns in circles with beeping noises that sounds like confusion, causing the pair to circle one another.  _ Allura did just kind of introduce us like he's supposed to applaud, but based on our appearance, I'm sure we appear lackluster. _

He glances back at her and shrugs, "Ooookay?"

Shiro glances over at Allura with a gentle tone as if he’s about to explain to a toddler that Santa isn’t real, "I don't think they've heard of us."

Keith crosses his arms, looking a little bemused as he shrugs, "Well, it  _ has _ been a thousand years."

This seems to bring Lance back into the conversation rather than off to the side with Nyma, "Wait, you guys don't know Voltron? You know, five robot lions that combine into one robot.... guy?"

Rolo shrugs, offering a slight upturn at the corner of his mouth, "Sounds impressive. I'd love to see it? Or... him. Them?" His eyebrows furrow together for a moment as he thought of what pronouns Voltron would prefer, which is rather endearing.  _ I never really considered Voltron to be a being that has a gender, it's just a robot. Well, a massive super-weapon, but its actually more a combination of our lions. I know my lion kind of has a gender, she seems to like it when I use she/her pronouns, but I can't say the same for the others. So.. maybe Voltron is literally just a combination of gendered lions? Gender-queer lions equal a gender-queer robot? Nice. _

Hunk doesn't seem to have any more time for pleasantries, immediately snapping up with a furrowed gaze, "Why don't we just get to work on your ship, I'm sure we all have places to be!"

Rolo crosses his arms, sticking his toothpick back in his mouth, "Sure." He walks over with Hunk to the side of his ship,and clicks the side as the main engine reveals itself with a burst of air. it looks similar to what I'd expect of an engine in a car, with pistons and all kinds of shit that I don't understand, but it looks mechanically complicated from here. 

"Pretty much our whole flaxum assembly is shot." Rolo states as he turns to us as a group, one hand on his massive belt as he juts his chin towards the Castle, "I'm not sure what kind of extra parts you carry on this rig of yours, though… I've never seen anything quite like it." He looks up at the Castle with a somewhat interested, somewhat not interested gaze, and I get the vibe that he's one of those people that don't really have too many visible emotions. Or maybe that's just because what I view as a disinterested expression means something completely different in his species' expression of emotions.  _ What planet is he from? What was it like? On that matter, Nyma seems to be an entirely different alien species, or perhaps they're one of those species that have polar differences in their gender physical expression, like with peacocks? _ _ So many questions, none of which are appropriate to ask in a social conversation. At least on Earth. Jesus Christ, my head is spinning, what’s the social conduct for interacting with aliens? _

"I'm sure we can get you back up and running." Allura affirms with a brisk nod. I glance over at Shiro next to her, who is rolling his eyes at Lance to his left.  _ Wait a minute… seriously, is Lance _ **_flexing_ ** _ at that alien right now? Are you fucking kidding me? I sure hope that our ideas of masculinity and femininity aren't the same with their race, and although she appears female I hope they're actually male, just to give Lance an existential crisis. That’s kind of a fucked up thing to wish for, I know, but what the  _ **_fuck,_ ** _ Lance?  _

"Give Hunk a list of what you need, and Coran can show you where to find it." Allura interrupts my thoughts, not seeming to notice Lance's antics behind her. Shiro, apparently, has had enough, as he elbows Lance in the arm none-too-gently to get him to stop. Lance huffs in embarrassment, looking off to the side with bright red cheeks as he crosses his arms instead of the  _ flexing _  he was doing.  _ For fucks sake.  _ Nyma has her amber gaze fixed upon him like a cat’s gaze on a laser, grinning with surprisingly human looking teeth at Lance in an almost conciliatory manner.  _ Fuck if I know if that’s actually what it is, though.  _

Hunk blinks at being put on the spot as the point of contact, or at least that’s what I suppose, before he huffs with a bare hint of annoyance, "...Okay."  _ It's strange to see Hunk acting annoyed, actually. I don't think I've ever seen Hunk annoyed. I've seen him scared, plenty times actually, I’ve seen him happy, excited, silly, serious... but never annoyed. Nor even angry, for that matter. He doesn't seem like he'd snap often, unlike Keith who seems down to fight just about any time anywhere, but perhaps his gentle giant exterior made me not question that he doesn't get angry. Maybe when he does, it's a terrifying sight to behold. Oh, I never want to see Hunk truly angry. _

"We'll go with you!" Rolo adds quickly when he sees Hunk's expression, uncrossing his arms from where he was leaning against the side of his ship, "Don't want you guys to have to carry all of that yourself." He turns behind him and waves his hand in a beckoning motion, "Come on guys." 

Nyma, who was merely staring at Lance, or at least seemed to be from my distance, immediately turns away from him to follow Rolo as Beezer tries, and mostly fails, to break away from Pidge, who now has the cyber-unit on its side to examine the tank-like wheels that allow it to move. As Rolo turns with Nyma towards the surface projector, Hunk steps in front of him, pushing him with one hand on the chest away from the Castle in a surprisingly confronting manner, "Uh, I don't think so, you can just wait out here." Hunk narrows his eyes suspiciously at Rolo, who merely looks at him with wide, confused eyes.

"Hunk, don't be rude." Allura scolds with a deep frown.

Lance quickly hops on the train, "Yeah, Hunk, mind your manners! There are _ ladies _ present." He winks over at Nyma, with  _ finger-guns _ .  _ What the hell is he doing.  _ She merely chuckles again with a hand on the side of her cheek like it’s the most charming compliment in the world and I face-palm for the second time within a few minutes since landing on this moon.  _ Jesus Christ, Lance. _

Hunk crosses his arms, his expression dead set in a scowl, which is such a strange sight to see on his usually warm features, "Oh, I'm sorry, but does anyone else remember what happened the last time we let our defenses down? Someone kind of set off a bomb." Hunk glares pointedly at Lance, "Remember, Lance? You and Will were almost killed!"

I bite my lip, trying to push the intrusive reminders of that event aside as Lance is visibly quelled at the reminder, "Oh. Yeah. Right."

Shiro nods in agreement and takes a step forward, "Hunk's right." He glances at Rolo with an apologetic look, "Sorry, but we have to be cautious."

Rolo smiles in an understanding manner, and for a moment I find myself wondering how exactly he manages to project such human characteristics. His mannerisms scream a classic surfer-dude vibe, down to the lazy roll of his shoulders. "Hey, I don't take it personal. That's how it is out here." Rolo waves over the little android, Beezer offhandedly as he murmurs, "You gotta look out for your own. You're doing a good job, big man." 

Beezer hops into an upright position and rolls away from Pidge, who makes a noise of minor despair as it rolls over with a happy expression, its little ears twitching with an expression on its face that literally looks like ":3" It spits out what appears to be a receipt from underneath the round screen on its face, and Rolo rips it out and hands it to Hunk. Pidge gasps and kneels before Beezer, staring at the slot beneath its round face with starry eyes, I think I can even hear her murmuring  _ 'Wow' _ under her breath every once in a while.

Hunk takes the receipt with a persisting frown, "Yeah.. thanks." He looks down at the thin sheet of paper, reading over it briefly before he walks off towards the surface projector and back up into the Castle.

Rolo turns and sits down by the fire that's surrounded by crates from their ship to wait, I assume. Nyma sits on a nearby crate with her legs crossed, and Lance follows after her like a lost puppy, speaking indistinctly, and frankly I don't really care to listen in on whatever cringy thing he's saying next. Just being near him right now is activating my second hand embarrassment to absurdly high levels. Allura and Shiro are speaking to one another, and from here I can see that they’re arguing, probably about the ethics of locking Rolo and Nyma out of the Castle.  _ Definitely don’t wanna get involved in that.  _ Keith standing off to the side with a foot propped on a crate, staring at the fire that dances across his gleaming red and white armor with flickering sparks. 

_ I don’t feel confident enough to start asking Rolo questions about his culture right now, despite really wanting to. Like, how the hell do I even bring that up? Like, “Hey, nice to meet you, I’m Will from Planet Earth, where are you from? What’s your culture like? What does a smile mean to you? How do you speak English? Do you have a transladazine?” Like, that’s such a slippery slope and after witnessing Lance’s antics and Pidge’s fixation on Beezer, I don’t want to try and embarrass us any further. Well, not like Pidge is embarrassing, I think it’s endearing, but it doesn’t seem totally socially acceptable to not even say hello before going to thoroughly inspect their android. So, maybe instead I’ll chat with Keith, while we have the time to kill… what the hell. Team bonding? Wow, I’m really turning to Keith as a conversational partner, I feel like this is some sort of revelation. But not just idle chat, though, I want to hear about what happened to him during the assault on the Castle. He ran off to check on the Arusians at the King’s behest and then hasn’t said anything about it, so that is a far more socially acceptable thing for me to ask, answering at least  _ **_one_ ** _ of my thousands of questions.  _

I approach him and greet him in a soft voice, "Hey." Keith glances at me out of the corner of his eye and raises an eyebrow in confusion, like he’s surprised I approached him, so I press past the pleasantries with a curious tone, "So, I’ve been meaning to ask you… what happened at the Arusian village? You know, just before when the mice apparently did more than you." I tease with a slight grin, yet as the words come out my brain halts.  _ Whoa, that’s right. Someone mentioned Allura has a telepathic connection to the mice. What the hell’s that all about? Oh great, another question that’s weird to ask, yay! _

Keith makes a face I can’t distinguish as he turns to sit more against one of the crates with his foot propped up beneath him instead of in front. His arms are crossed in a comfortable manner rather than defensive, and his eyes are dark, almost black and glittering mysteriously in the light of the stars.  _ I can never get a read on what he’s thinking, and I think it’s because his eyes are practically pools of enigma.  _ "Well, when the bomb went off, the rest of us were in the Great Hall, with the Arusians. They ran away pretty quick when we went to find the source of the blast, and that's where we found you and Lance, both knocked out." Keith pauses, and I see his gaze flicker to my chest for a moment, "Your stone, it healed you, didn't it? You never said anything before about that being a thing."

I shake my head, shifting to sit on the crate that he leans on beside him, "I had no idea it could do that either, honestly. I'm glad that it can, though… I think it may have saved Lance's life when we were being held by Sendak." I glance over at Lance from where we stand, who is telling Nyma some story, from what it appears from here, about him flying the Blue Lion for the first time with his arms upright on an invisible wheel. It's kind of endearing, to see him so open and giddy, even if it is for purely heterosexual reasons.  _ Guess I shouldn’t be so hard on him about it. Sure, it’s insanely cringy and makes me embarrassed to see him acting like a twelve year old who just discovered sexual attraction, but it’s kind of sweet, too. Childlike wonder and openness and all that. Maybe that’s how he expresses himself with people he likes romantically, and since he doesn’t know how to do it - I know that bitch never practices being emotionally open - it comes across as juvenile just because he’s… learning? He’d probably kick my ass if I ever said that to him, say something along the lines of “I know exactly what I’m doing!” or something. If I were Keith he’d add a ‘mullet’ at the end. _

"Probably saved yours too, you had a nasty cut on the back of your head." Keith murmurs, looking down at his hands as if the blood was still there.

I grin a little, elbowing him in the side in an amicable manner, "Oh, come on, Keith, don't get all broody on me! It'll take more than some Galra bomb to put me down, I'm a little tougher than that." I shrug, tilting my head as I prop my hands on the sides of the rough crate, "... Maybe two bombs will do the trick, though. But don't tell Zarkon that." I'm awarded a soft chuckle from Keith, whose gaze softens as he watches the fire dancing in the pit nearby. I glance over at him and see the light smirk playing across his face and something in my chest leaps into my throat, heat flashing from my neck to my face.  _ Uh oh. _

Eventually his endearing smirk fades as he continues in a low tone, "Allura and I left the Castle to check on the Arusian village. The whole place was on fire and it had started to spread into the area around it, so Allura started helping organize those who made it out into a group to escort them to a safer location when the King mentioned that the Galra were still down there. But I went down to investigate all that was there were a few Galra sentries, and they had already been destroyed. They were propped up on each other and against buildings... It was made to look like they were attacking." Keith’s voice takes a surprisingly dark tone, his gaze following the moon's horizon ahead, "I figured out to late that it was just a diversion to get us away from the Castle." He lets out a soft sigh, his gaze dropping almost guiltily, "Allura and I ran back as fast as we could, but by the time we got there the particle barrier was already up." 

I frown a little, swinging my legs beneath me and clipping my heels against the crate, “That sounds terrifying. I’m so sorry.”

Keith closes his eyes as he swears under his breath, "If I was just a little faster, we could've made it. So it wasn't all on Pidge to bring the particle barrier down." The softness of his voice makes me think he didn’t intend for me to really hear it, like it’s just an afterthought.  _ He seems to take things like this so damn personally. This is like when he was helping me out with the bruise on my chest before the party, same sort of self-blaming for something he had no control over.  _

I place a hand on his shoulder but Keith doesn’t look up at me as I murmur, "Hey, I'm impressed that you were able to figure it out as fast as you did!" Keith frowns at me over his shoulder. I assume it's my hand on his shoulder so I immediately withdraw it, giving him an apologetic expression as I return my hands to the edge of the crate.  _ It wasn’t in your control, there’s no need to beat yourself over it. If anyone failed to stop Sendak from entering in the first place...  _ "Don't blame yourself for that." I continue gently, and I find myself staring at my hands where they press against the rough wood of the crates, "If anyone failed, it was me." 

I’m talking before I can even stop myself, and I can feel my voice is small, barely a murmur, "When they got to the door Shiro had Sendak, but I was just… so useless. I could barely get out of the way, nevertheless help Shiro defend the Castle, and that other Galra..  _ that stupid Galra. _ ” I’m growling under my breath, my jaw gritting as anger rises in the back of my throat like a dangerous, liquid flame,  _ why can’t I stop talking? This is so much oversharing-  _ “ _ Haxus. _ I got a good cut on his face first, though, that made me feel good, but it didn’t fucking matter in the end because he got a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me if Shiro didn't let Sendak go. It could've ended there, but…” I throw my hands in the air and shake my head, feeling tension shifting into my shoulders as I curl my hands into fists where they rest on my thighs, "Typical, that some civilian gets in the way of things, right?"

Keith turns over his shoulder to look at me, I can feel his gaze, but I can't bring myself to meet it.  _ He knows I'm right, just as Shiro knows. No one is to blame but me for what happened, to me, to Shiro. Luckily for us Pidge got there just in time before Sendak got to Lance too, but it was almost a triple shit show because of my own stupidity and naivete that I could hold myself in a fight. Keith probably hates me for it, he and Shiro are closer than close, he must know it’s my fault that Shiro got hurt, and he must fucking hate me for it. _

After a moment, his husky voice cuts into my thoughts, "I would've made the same choice. As would everyone, I think. It's not your fault that we care about you." 

I blink and meet Keith's eyes, laid evenly on me without a change in expression. I feel such butterflies in my stomach that I suddenly feel rather shaky.  _ That was kind of a gay way to put that.  _

"Err... uh... thanks, Keith." I clear my throat, averting my gaze and turning away before Keith can see that heat is rising in my cheeks, faster by the second. I feel a tension in the air, and immediately I’m filled with regret over how that conversation panned.  _ How the hell did I manage to make that about myself? I’m so fucking selfish.  _ I glance over at Keith and give him a gentle look, "Sorry, geez, that was so much oversharing. What I was trying to say, the whole reason I told you that is ‘cause we all mess up sometimes. We all think about what we could've done better… But what's the point, you know? You tried, I tried… Shit happens, but we got the Castle back eventually, right?" Keith doesn't answer, his gaze fixed firmly on the fire.  _ I have no fucking idea how to read you, Mr. Brooding Wonder.  _

_ Apparently I needed to get that off my chest. At least it was now, it could have been at such a worse time, but my God, can I have a little more self control?  _

Luckily, Rolo and Shiro interrupt my thoughts, and I have the perfect excuse to keep my gaze away from Keith as Shiro speaks to Rolo just a few feet away, "Rolo, how did you end up here?"

I turn and fully face where Shiro, Allura, and Rolo are clustered around the fire. Rolo is quiet for a moment, his eyes on the flames as he pokes it with one of his metal tools in an attempt to keep the flames burning on whatever material he's burning. It looks like wood, but I know it probably isn't wood, given that this isn't Earth, but it resembles it pretty plainly. "My planet was destroyed by the Galra, and I was taken captive." Rolo speaks in a dark tone, his eyes never leaving the fire, "I managed to escape, but not before I lost something." He drops the tool he was using to prod the fire and bends over his knees, knocking his fist against his left leg, which makes a hollow, metallic sound.

Shiro nods, leaning against a pile of crates from the ship nearby as his own prosthetic right hand clenches into a fist, "I know the feeling." 

The elevator from the Castle suddenly returns to the moon's surface with a soft thunk and Hunk comes rolling out with a box as big as he is, like a cooler. "Well, I hope there are some parts in here that'll fit!" He calls as he releases the handle and looks at us where we are littered around the fire. We turn to look at Rolo, but his gaze is distant and out of focus with his back to Hunk. Hunk lets out a frustrated huff as he adds, "You know, to get your ship moving?"

Rolo seems to snap out of his thoughts, smiling apologetically as he glances over his shoulder at Hunk, "Great! Thanks."

Allura sits down by the fire, her ankles crossing over one another as she speaks with crisp composure, "So what can you tell us about Zarkon's forces? Where are they concentrated?"

I notice Pidge's form over Rolo’s shoulder jumping up and down, and as she comes around to full view in the distance behind Rolo I see that she's riding Beezer around the campsite like a pony. _  At least Pidge is having a good time. _  "Well, his command ship sits right at the center of the Empire. He mostly calls the shots from there and has his minions do the work, depending on who's closest." Rolo looks around the moon, and up at the stars, with a slight frown, "This is the territory of a real nasty bugger named Sendak, and from what I gather, Zarkon sent him way out here because of his…  _ dazzling _ personality." 

The mere mention of his name sends shivers down my spine, a ghost pain flaring in my side in memory. I rest a hand over it, feeling the material of my suit and my gloves instead of skin, a reminder.  _ It's in the past. It's over. You can stop hurting now.  _

Keith crosses his arms with a dark snarl, "Oh, we've met." 

I flicker over my gaze to him curiously, and see his gaze burning with heat that matches the firepit before him.  _ He looks so... Pissed. That’s the most openly angry I think I’ve seen him before. I mean, he’s always got a resting level of slightly pissed but I think that may just be his face in combination with his brooding demeanor. _

_ When he left with Allura to get to the village, leaving Shiro at the Castle, he returned knowing that Shiro was at the mercy of… It must have been awful, stuck outside the ship until the barrier came down. I don't know how long we were there but it must have been hours, or at least that’s how it felt… No wonder he is so guilt-ridden, just standing outside, waiting for the chance to run in, it must've eaten away at him to feel so helpless. Especially someone who prefers to act rather than to talk, and  _ **_especially_ ** _ because it was Shiro who was still inside. I may not know much about him, but even a blind person could see how much he cares about Shiro. This look in his eye, that anger he expressed before isn’t just frustration at being helpless… it’s regret. I genuinely can’t believe he doesn’t hate me for putting Shiro in that situation and, worse, getting him hurt because of it. Or, perhaps he’s just hiding it incredibly well.  _

Shiro interrupts my thoughts, his voice stark and straight to business, "How far are we from that center?"

Rolo laces his fingers, each hand having only four, together, "Oh, we're way out on the fringes-"

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I think you guys are keeping Rolo from working." Hunk suddenly pipes up, pointing to the box he lugged out of the Castle. Rolo turns and glances at Hunk over his shoulder, which prompts Hunk to sheepishly tugs on his fingers, "It's just that, we're kind of in a hurry. A hero named Shay saved my life, and I swore that I would do the same for her and her people.” Hunk pauses and looks at Rolo with a look that’s much more Hunk, “You understand, right?"

Rolo nods in a nonchalant manner as he stands up, approaching the box Hunk hauled out. He pats Hunk on the shoulder as he passes, "Sure, sorry." He offers offhandedly. He goes over to the box that Hunk brought, immediately began rifling through the parts within as Hunk steps towards us where we are hovering over the fire. Shiro approaches Hunk where he now stands a bit of a ways away from the box with his arms crossed stubbornly, resting a hand on his shoulder with a gentle, fatherly gaze. In this moment I suddenly realize that even though Hunk’s younger than him, Shiro's really only got an inch or two on him, which is insane because in my mind the two are so completely polar in terms of stature that that seems so alien. “Hunk,” Shiro begins with a conciliatory tone, “We're gonna get going soon, but I think Rolo might have some information that could be helpful to us.”

Hunk curls his nose, grumbling in a muted tone just loud enough that I can hear him, "Not for nothing, but I don't trust this guy as far as I can throw him. I think we should leave him with parts and say  _ 'Adios, amigo-' _ "

"Hey bud!" Rolo calls from the box behind him, his voice rather loud like he's at a greater distance than he really is, "Sorry, but do you think you can hunt me down a length of thermal pipe about yay-long?" He holds up his arms a distance apart, no longer than my forearm, before smiling sheepishly at him.  _ At least he's being polite. And he's giving us some more info on Zarkon, which is definitely gonna be useful. _

Hunk groans softly as he heads back towards the Castle, "On the way."

Shiro approaches Rolo, I assume to continue interrogating him, and Keith disengages from the crate to follow after him in junction with Allura.  I follow after them to hear what they have to say, "So, how many freedom fighters are out there? Is there any organized resistance?" Shiro asks Rolo as he investigates the other parts that Hunk brought within the cooler-shaped box.

"Only those who haven't been colonized, and the lucky few like us." Rolo responds evenly with a jutted chin behind him, and I follow his movement back at Nyma, who seems to be listening intently to whatever Lance is talking to her about.  _ I can't imagine that that's an enlightening conversation. _ _ I also can’t believe how Lance has so much to say, I’ve never seen him so chatty, and that’s saying quite a lot. _

Keith speaks up from where he stands a little behind Shiro, his jaw set confidently, "Well, we're gonna change all of that."  _ He sounds like he believes it.  _

This gives me pause. 

_ Do I believe it? Do I really think Zarkon can be defeated?  _

_ I don't know. I want to believe so, but I have no idea how to conceptualize a thousand year old ruling empire. I know that we have to, and I will do everything in my power to do so, especially to protect the universe from monsters like Sendak. But, if he's just an underling... I can't imagine the atrocities that Zarkon has unleashed, what his other subordinates are like. I doubt they're rays of sunshine. Did I really mean it when I told Sendak that Zarkon is unstoppable? Oh God, that’d be embarrassing. _

"That's great to hear." Rolo lets out a breath, but it doesn't seem to be one of relief, "But I gotta warn you, it's pretty bad out there. You don't know what you're up against." 

Rolo turns his back to us to inspect the other materials, leaving the air around us a little cold. 

Hunk emerges a minute later with the thermal pipe Rolo requested, and they start working on the ship together. Lance is still smothering Nyma with attention, and Pidge is absolutely in love with their little android, she’s trying her damnedest to get the robot onto its side again to investigate something beneath it. I mean, yeah, the robot's a little cute, but what's even cuter is Pidge fangirling over it. I return to sit by the fire as they work on the engine so I can stay out of the way, criss-crossing my legs on the ground and examine the flames. 

_ Wait… if there is a fire, does that mean there is oxygen?  _ I look over at Allura, who sits on a crate nearby and is speaking in a low voice with Shiro with a grim expression. She hasn't worn a helmet at all and I initially thought it was because, you know, she's alien, she has different requirements to keep her systems running or something, but...  

I look down at my wrist, at the shield button and the small panel on the inside of my wrist. I tap it and open a holographic screen, narrowing my eyes at the different options.  _ Time, oxygen level, hydration cycles, whatever the fuck that means, atmosphere composition… that sounds promising.  _ I press the composition button and a little holographic screen flickers up, showing me a little pie chart that's about 90% nitrogen and 10% oxygen.  _ That's pretty similar to Earth's atmosphere, right? _ It looks like the big difference is that this moon's atmosphere is only about a mile or two thin, which is why it looks like we're in empty space. I look down at the graph again and see a small message beneath it, ‘Suitable for free-breathing’.  _ Okay, helpful, wish I saw that sooner.  _ Experimentally, I let my visor up and take a breath.

I nearly choke on how much fresh air there is, it's like nothing I had ever experienced. It smells like burning wood, the kind of smell that reminds me of camping in the wilderness back home, if that smell was intensified by a hundred.  _ Wow, how crazy that this moon has an environment fitting for life. _  I look around at the landscape, taking off my helmet entirely, and setting it beside me on the dark gray sands. There is nothing on this moon but rocks, and a dusty gray sand like what I'm sitting on, kind of like the Moon back home but black and dark gray earth instead of light gray and white.  _ Space sure is wild. _

"Shiro never mentioned about the Galra getting a knife on you." Keith's voice spooks me out of my reverie. He plops his helmet on the ground next to me as I turn to him in surprise. He sits on the crate just behind me without taking his focused gaze off of me, and I feel a blush burning up my face at the scrutiny. I cross my arms, frowning and moving my gaze instead to his helmet. There's a small scrape on the side, revealing the white metal beneath the red paint.  _ Has he been thinking about that this whole time? Enough to come and get me to talk about it more? _

"Yeah, well, I'm not exactly proud of it. And, you know, a whole lot happened that night that I don’t exactly remember everything off the top of my head." I murmur in response after a moment's silence, shifting a little and shoving my hands under my thighs to keep them from shaking. I didn't think they were gonna shake, but based on where this conversation is going, they might. 

Keith's eyebrows are furrowed but he presses on without more than a brief pause, “When I…” He balks suddenly, breaking off his sentence. I glance back at him over my shoulder to see him looking down at the fire, perhaps to backtrack his thoughts. After a beat or two he speaks again, "What do you remember?"

I furrow my eyebrows, turning a little away the flames so I can face him fully, "What do you mean?" 

"I mean, you... were kind of... loopy, I guess, when we finally got to the bridge." Keith raises an eyebrow at me, his expression is one I had never seen before. Like... gentle, yet conflicted? Or confused? Fuck if I know, I'm really distracted by how pretty his eyes are in the firelight.  _ Shit. _ Not like I can ever really tell Keith's emotions anyway, he's usually incredibly inexpressive and impossible to read.  _ It kind of sounds like he wants to ask about something in particular, though, but what? _

"Yeah? Well... I lost a lot of blood." Without thinking my hand flutters to my side in memory of the prod in Sendak's claw, a ghost pain from deep in my side causing my lip to curl.  _ Let it go. Let it go.  _ I shake my head to rid myself of the feeling, clearing my throat and speaking in an analytic tone, "I once read somewhere that losing a lot of blood like that can make you act a little funny, like you're drunk. But I don’t know if that’s true or not, I’m not a doctor or anything, but that might explain it.” Keith’s expression doesn’t change, his gaze flickering to mine with a slight shift of his body forward onto his knees. I raise an eyebrow at him and press gently, “Why do you ask?"

Keith's eyebrows are furrowed, and his gaze flickers down to where I have my hand in my side. Quickly I let it drop with a roll of my shoulder, like I was just doing a really weird stretch.  _ Act natural.  _ His expression is definitely conflicted, and when he speaks his words flow rather quickly, like getting them out faster will make saying them easier, perhaps, "Lance didn’t have that wound in his side like you and Shiro, and Shiro wasn't… he didn’t bleed out as much as you."

I manage a half grin, "Hey, what can I say, should I apologize that Sendak liked me more?" I tease, but only half heartedly.  _ But hey, that sounded relatively convincing, like I’m not about to wig out and run and hide in some random corner of this random moon. I’m actually kind of proud of myself.  _

Keith gives me a glare that looks so much like a look Shiro would give me that it genuinely gives me a moment to wonder how they’re  _ not  _ related to each other by blood. 

I sigh, holding up my hands in defeat, “Don't look at me like that, okay? I… I was an idiot, you know, like usual. I thought if I tried to make Sendak think that I would cooperate and help him access the lions but only if he let Shiro and Lance go. But instead he…” I feel my throat stall as I struggle to say the words, and I swallow on the growing lump and spit out the words like they’re stones, "He said he'd get the information one way or another. That’s all there is to it." 

I feel my gaze grow distant, lost in the flames of the golden-red fire.  _ I can almost feel the metal in my side just thinking about it, the convulsing electricity, Sendak's dark, fanged grin. He delighted in pain, he genuinely revelled in it, and I think that’s why he didn’t bother to bargain. He would much rather watch us suffer for a longer time than to deliver Zarkon the lions faster… he just needed an excuse.  _

_ And I gave him one on a silver platter. _

I suddenly feel something touch my shoulder and I flinch, rather hard, on instinct. I blink at Keith's gloved hand resting there, it's gentle, and grounding, ripping me out of my memory and thoughts. 

Keith blinks at me, like my flinching surprised him to the point he forgot what he was going to say.  _ No, I wasn't flinching because of you, Keith! Fuck, shit. _  I smile apologetically, "Sorry, you scared me. Let’s just sum it all up and say that I didn’t have a great time."

Keith scoffs a little under his breath, "Yeah, I got that much." He withdraws his hand, crossing his forearms over each other as he leans his elbows on his knees, a slight smirk forms on his lips, "If it makes you feel any better, you were kind of funny towards the end there.” Keith balks suddenly, clearing his throat and shifting a hand to rub the back of his neck, “Or, at least, it's funny now. At the time we were all kind of freaked out."

I blink at him with a confused look, "Funny? What do you mean?"

"You just... said some funny stuff."  _ Is Keith... blushing?  _

_ He is. _ His skin is light, the soft pink building up his neck and in his face is easy to see, especially in the firelight. I furrow my eyebrows as I stumble to remember what happened after we defeated Sendak, what could I have said that has him reacting like this?  _ Or at least something that he would remember and think it funny. _

_ What do I remember after it was all over? I was so relieved, I think I just released all of my adrenaline when I knew we were safe, I just kind of... let go, in all senses of the word. I remember Allura had helped me back to the pods, Keith raced to Lance’s side and helped him rise, they had that bonding moment, 'We make a pretty good team' is what Lance had said… I felt bad, I was getting blood all over Allura... I think I may have complained about having white armor but that's just about it. _

"Like.. what?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, "I don't really remember much."

Keith clears his throat, shifting his gaze off to the side with a slight quirk in his lips, "It's not a big deal. It wasn't bad or anything… just weird."

I narrow my eyes at him suspiciously, "Okay… Sounds fake, but okay."

Keith blinks at me before curling his nose stubbornly, "It's not!"

"Prove it." I challenge with a cocked eyebrow, "Tell me what I said that's obviously bothering you so much!"

Competitive light flickers in Keith’s gaze for a moment that tightens on my airway so abruptly I nearly choke, it’s  _ dangerously  _ attractive. The light snaps away as Keith grumbles defensively, his jaw set, "It didn’t… it doesn't bother me!"

I feel a smirk rising across my face, "Well, you remember it and thought to ask about it, so it's got to be  _ something _ ."

Keith rolls his eyes, shrugging his shoulders like he's shifting a weight he carries, "It's really not important." His gaze falls to his feet, his head tilted to the side in thought as he sighs, "That's not the right thing to be thinking about, anyway." 

I frown, narrowing my eyes at him.  _ That's not suspicious at all _ . 

I want to question him further, but something shifts in his expression and my thoughts immediately die on the tip of my tongue. He looks so forlorn, deep in melancholic thoughts that look to be weighing his shoulders down almost literally. He flickers his gaze over at me with a moment’s silence and he lets out an annoyed burst of breath, "I'm just really sorry that that happened. I’m sorry I left you and Shiro and Lance-"

I shake my head and fix him with a firm look as I cut him off, "Hey, we all make mistakes. Don't let what could've happened haunt you." 

Keith merely raises an eyebrow at me and I shift, propping myself up on the crate he sits on as I wave my hands in vague gestures, "I brought my own fate upon myself, and you thinking about what you could've done does nothing but hurt yourself more." Keith blinks at me, I think in surprise. I turn my back away from him again and face the fire with a delivering, curt reply, "The point is we beat him. What could've been doesn't matter anymore."

He doesn't answer, his gaze glued to the fire that burns in the pit nearby, and for a few minutes we sit in tense silence. Or, at least, it feels tense. I'm not entirely sure, but it feels like what I said may have pissed Keith off somehow.  _ For fucks sake, I wish I could get a better read on him with this shit. He’s such an obnoxious enigma. Should I apologize?  _

"You know," Keith’s guarded voice cuts the air after we sit in silence for a minute, "You're such a hypocrite."

I turn my head to look up at him where he sits above me with a stupid, confused look, "What?"

Keith fixes me with a stern gaze, his arms crossed and his brow set, "You're telling me not to let my decisions haunt me, but that's exactly what you're doing. Take your own advice."

I blink at him, a little surprised at his words, and for once I can't think of some sort of retort. I pick up my helmet from beside me and set in my lap, staring down at my reflection in the visor with a bit of a dampened pout at being told off.  _ I mean, I guess I was just thinking about that. Keith's call-out's valid. But man, I can call myself out on my shit, but it's different for someone else to do it for me, I don’t think I like it.  _

Suddenly, the hanger door on the side of the Castle snaps open with a thudding clang. I look up with a start as the Blue Lion zooms out, racing out of sight as the hanger door slams closed behind it, the thrusters thundering in the open air like a sonic boom. 

I blink and whirl around. Lance and Nyma both are nowhere in sight.

"Oh my god, _  Lance. _ " I sigh, shaking my head as I press a hand to my temple, "He's so painfully heterosexual sometimes, what the  _ hell _ ."

"Huh?"

I glance at Keith briefly and wave it off, "Sorry, making uh… gay joke. Ignore me."

Keith raises an eyebrow, his expression’s so adoringly confused it nearly gives me heart palpitations, "I don't get it."

I huff, “You don’t get a gay joke?” 

Keith merely nods a little, his eyes are wide and owlish and although a part of me wants to be annoyed a majority of me is like  _ wow he looks really pretty right now.  _ To distract myself I clap my hands together in preparation for the amount of focus answering this question is going to take.  _ Alright, let's see if I can find the proper words for this. _

"Well, it all stems from years and years of oppression," I begin lightheartedly, meeting Keith's confused gaze as I turn and face him fully with my back to the fire, "Gay jokes are really just methods of expressing repressed rage about people in the LGBTQ+ community being oppressed for doing things that are seen as normal if it was between heterosexuals. So, I'm reverting the oppression in a mocking way back to the "normal" to set it up kind of like a straw man to illustrate how silly it was to do the same to gay people, while also indirectly expressing frustrations when the same was done to gay folks in true mockery. So, a true insult would've been 'he's so gay sometimes' if he were, quote on quote, 'acting gay', so I turned it on its head, by saying he's acting so hetero in order to mock his actions while also expressing my frustration that the opposite is still considered an insult. Make sense?"

Keith blinks at me, like I just explained quantum physics to him, before he shakes his head a little bit and raises an eyebrow in confusion, "Wait, you're gay?"

I take a deep breath, counting to ten mentally before I let it out in a big rush,  _ “ _ **_That's_ ** _  what you got from that?” _

Keith quickly backtracks, stammering a little, "What? No! I mean... I just, you didn't seem... to be..." He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and his face is turning red in embarrassment.

I give Keith a tired look as I watch him awkwardly flounder, "Whenever you're ready, sweetie." Sarcasm drips from my words and I don't bother to hide my derision.

Keith huffs,  _ oh yeah, he's totally blushing. That's adorable. _  "No, I'm not saying that’s bad or anything! I'm just, I just never really think about people's sexuality and stuff. That's all!" 

_ I’ve never seen him so embarrassed that he’s stammering for words.  _

I allow myself a laugh, which seems to make Keith steam, "You are adorable when you're flustered." Before he can argue with me, I shrug and continue, "Yeah, I'm gay. But, before, when I said 'gay', I meant all people who are LGBTQ+, just for ease of use in conversation. Call it a happy coincidence. Any other mind riveting questions I can answer for you?" I ask Keith sarcastically, giving him a derisive look. 

He merely crosses his arms, his eyebrows furrowed as his entire face seems to simmer and burn. It's kind of cute, yet also obnoxious at the same time. _  It isn't the 2000's, it's been a century since LGBT+ became an openly discussed label, I didn't think there would be such a weird stigma with someone who's my age. But, I do quite like seeing him blush, and act so flustered... even if it's because of this. What a double edged sword. _

But, apparently, Keith isn’t done, as he lets out a breath in one big rush, "I'm not sheltered, or anything!” Keith snaps at me, his ears are now as red as his armor and his face as he verbally stumbles, “I was... just surprised! Because I don't think about stuff like that. I guess I just assumed you were straight." Keith states in a rush of air, his arms crossed tightly across his chest and curling inwards like he could become an awkward armadillo and escape the conversation.

I gasp in mock pain, "That's the most hurtful thing you've ever said to me, Keith! I'm shocked and appalled that I don't scream  _ raging homosexual _  to you." 

Before Keith can answer, Rolo suddenly emerges from his spacecraft's engine with an enthusiastic clap as he shuts the door, "Alright! I think this thing is ready for a test flight! Beezer, come co-pilot, be back in a tick!" He rushes, rather quick in fact, to the front of the vessel and climbs in with Beezer, much to Pidge's sadness as she sits on the dark gray sand a bit of a ways away from the fire. Within the second the ship is firing up, Hunk, Shiro, and Allura have to take several steps back as it prepares to take off.

"Uh...?" Hunk speaks with a confused gaze, and with a burst of air the ship is off the ground, and zooming away, just over the horizon and out of sight. 

_ Okay, then.  _

The fire sputters out about twenty minutes later as we all congregate on the leftover crates.  _ Ticks certainly are longer than I thought they originally were. _

"How many ticks have they been gone?" Pidge asks, swinging her legs from her spot up on a box.  _ Okay, never mind, maybe they're just as long as I thought they were. _

"I don't know." Allura answers, her head tilted to the side as she perches elegantly upon another box, "I hope they didn't break down again."

"Something isn't right." Hunk grumbles, his eyebrows furrowed as he leans his chin in his hand with a pout.

We sit in more, continued, bored silence.

"So... Lance and Nyma have been gone a while." I mention idly, leaning my back against one of the many crates they left behind as Pidge rolls her eyes at me, "Yeah, you noticed? Believe me, when he gets back, Lance won't ever shut up about it again."

Immediately, I curl my lip in disgust and cover my ears, "Dear god, I don't want to think about whatever weird alien sex they might be having, thank you!" 

The entire team makes noises of utter disgust, "Ugh, no one was thinking about that, Will, but now we are, thanks!" Hunk groans in response, shaking his head like a wet dog. 

I point accusingly at Pidge where she lies flat on her back on a crate. "Oh, come on, Pidge started it!"

Suddenly, over the com in our helmets I hear Lance's voice, "Guys? Hello! A little help!?"  _ Speak of the devil…  _

"Lance?" Shiro raises an eyebrow, and we all hurry to pull our helmets on as Shiro calls again again, "Lance, are you alright? What's going on?"

"If he's asking for a condom I'm quitting Voltron." I whisper under my breath as I pull my helmet on, but luckily, Lance doesn't hear me as he cries in a stressed tone. "Well, I'm kind of chained to a tree!"

I struggle not to snort, covering my mouth with my hands, "Oh dear god, I hope what's happening isn't happening." Everyone on the team gives me such a look of disgust that it's invigorating, like I just told a really bad pun, "Oh come on, don't look at me like that!" I answer with a grin.

Lance continues without pause, having not heard me since I  _ thankfully  _ didn’t engage my com, "-and I think Nyma and Rolo stole the Blue Lion!"

We all blink in shock, but not before Hunk cries out with a triumphant expression,  _ "I knew it!" _

"Where are they?" Shiro demands. 

Lance's voice crackles over the com, "Uh... space?"

Hunk is never going to let this one down, I can tell as he grasps his hands into fists, holding them in the air in front of him, "Oh, I  _ knew _  we should never have trusted those guys! Right from the beginning!" He takes a dramatic gasp before he shouts to the open atmosphere,  **_"I knew it!"_ **

"Get to your lions, quick." Shiro snaps, and we immediately head back into the Castle.

The whole while as we make our ascent to our lions, Hunk made sure that everyone knew that he was right to not have trusted Rolo and Nyma.

"I mean, at first it was a feeling in my gut, you know, but when I was replacing that thermal pipe, the pipe was cracked, but none of the hardware around it was damaged..!"

"Okay, we get it!" Keith groans over the mic as I race up the stairs to rest at my lion’s controls. "Hey girl, long time no see." I murmur, petting her controls affectionately. The cabin grows rather warm, pleasantly so, and her controls snap up to my hands as if she was waiting for me.  _ Oh, you. _  I open the hanger and guide the White Lion into empty space as Hunk continues, "I mean, if the thermal pipe is cracked then, hello, the entire assembly should be completely roasted!"

"Okay, we get it!" Keith repeats, but Hunk isn't done, "We should've had to replace the entire undercarriage of that reactor, so right then I was like, positive, foul play!"

We all cry into the com then, in chorus, "Okay, we get it!" 

Hunk continues to grumble, but this time under his breath. 

I turn to my holographic screen to my left, where each of our lion faces are sprinkling a holographic map of the surrounding space. We’re all stacked on top of eachother save for the Blue Lion, which is headed west at a pretty decent speed, but nothing that we can’t catch up to. Especially Keith, since his lion has proven to be the fastest.

"Hey guys, I'm getting a reading on the Blue Lion's signature this way. Follow me!" I press the White Lion's controls forward in that direction as Pidge responds, "I'm not getting anything!"

"Can't you see it? It's a big blue lion's face on the hologram." I point  _ as if they could see, what the fuck, Will _ . I can feel the lions closing in ranks behind me as we fly through open space.

"Yeah, no, mine says that he's too far away." Pidge answers with a frown over the com, "Maybe your lion has a deeper tie with the other lions?"  __

_ My lion has a deeper tie with the other lions? For some reason…? Shouldn't all the lions have a similar connection with one another?  _

“Makes sense to me.” Keith murmurs under his breath, but no sooner do the words leave his mouth does Lance shriek, “Less chatty, Keith! More lion grabby!” 

We draw closer and closer by the second to the Blue Lion. Up ahead, getting closer by the second, is a massive, yellow, gassy planet, encompassed by thick rings made of varying boulder-mountain sized asteroids.  _ This is probably what Saturn looks like, up close. Wow, this is thing is huge…  _

It makes me miss home, in a big wave like a riptide in my chest. I struggle to keep my head in the game. 

"I see it, up there, by the asteroid field!" Pidge cries into the com, and I peer ahead to see that the ship is a few miles ahead of us, or... it's hard to tell distance in the middle of space, but the ship is no bigger than my thumbnail from where we are now. It must've noticed we were gaining, as it suddenly weaves itself into the asteroid belt around the planet, now out of sight among the massive stones.

We stop just on the edge of where the ship disappeared. Pidge huffs, "We'll never get through this asteroid field, it shifts too wildly with the gravity of the planet!"

"Maybe I can just bust through?" Hunk declares, and I watch the Yellow Lion race forward and butt heads with the closest asteroid. It bumps into the next closest, and the next closest, and they all begin to wobble in place and smack into each other like dominoes caught on a string, "Nope, that was wrong, that was a bad idea!" Hunk immediately backtracks back to us. 

Shiro's voice comes over the com, "Keith, you're the only one who can possibly fly through this. We need you, buddy, get in there, and flush them out." 

The Red Lion purrs in determination, and shoots through the wiggling asteroid field like red lightning with perfect agility as Keith responds with a determined tone, "You got it! See you on the other side."  _ Why did Shiro sound like he was trying to convince Keith to go? If it were Pidge he would just say, ‘Pidge, go’ and she would. Hunk would too, but he’d complain about it the whole time- _

"Will, track him, your lion seems to be more sensitive to the positions of the others. Follow him from the outside of the field so we can join up with him when he flushes them out." Shiro's commanding voice hyper-focuses me to the moment upon being given direction. I grasp my controls with a sense of determination rushing over me, "Right on." I answer, and zero my tracker on the left side to the now zig-zagging position of the Red Lion racing through the asteroid field. 

I press the White Lion forward and keep the group to the outsides of the asteroid field, which is easier said than done as they still waver from Hunk’s headbutting brilliance. I keep to the edges of the asteroids, watching the Red Lion's movements weave through the rings, which must be hundreds of Voltrons across (a new unit of measure I'll try). Occasionally I spot Keith, a burst of thrusters here or a red tail there as he leaps across flying boulders and twists through narrow gaps between shivering stones.  _ He really is an impressive flier. Who was drunk at the Garrison and thought it was a good idea to throw him out? _

I spot the other ship, but only when streams of laser beams begin firing behind them.  _ They're shooting on Keith. _  My grip on the White Lion's controls tighten as I yearn to defend him… But there is no way. I can't go into that asteroid field, I'd get lost immediately, jerk the asteroids around even more than they still are, and generally do more harm than good, but the stubborn feeling doesn't go away. I feel my lion growling within me, almost in disappointment, and I get an overwhelming feeling like I'm missing something.  _ But what?  _

I watch Keith return the ship's fire in turn and follow the flashes of blue light and glimpses of metal while keeping the team to the outside of the asteroid field, tracking Keith's progress on my holographic screen and the occasional flashes of light I see between the stony, red asteroids.

Finally, I spot the ship break the asteroid belt, with only one working thruster. I can't help my wild grin as I cheer, "Nice, Keith!"

The Red Lion digs its claws into the back of the ship, holding it in place as we reconvene on the edge of the asteroid belt. I spot Rolo and Nyma inside through the glass at the front of the ship, looking very uncomfortable as we surround them. I think I can actually hear our lions, rumbling growls within our chests in satisfaction, living up to their lion identities in taking pleasure in a successful hunt.

"Haha, yeah!" Keith grins, a little cloyingly as he calls into the com, "Hey Lance? I got your lion back."

"Thank you, Keith." Lance answers immediately with a genuine sigh of relief, before he gasps, "Now, can you come unchain me?"

"What's that? I uh, … you're cutting out, I can't--- can't hear you." Keith mimics crackling noises over the mic and I try to stifle a laugh as I move to dig the White Lion's claws into the other side of the ship, helping Keith guide the ship back towards the moon from hence we came.

"Oh come on, I thought we bonded!" Lance cries indignantly over the com, and when he's met with silence he continues with a pleading tone, "Keith? Buddy? My man?"

I laugh outright, shaking my head as we return within the minute to the moon. 

"I'll triangulate his location." Pidge says over the com with a slightly disappointed tone, to which Lance sniffles dramatically, "Now there's a true friend!"

Keith and I set the ship down back where we originally were, right next to the pile of crates they had left behind while the others went to get Lance. He apparently was just on the other side of the moon, based on how as soon as I rise from my seat I hear Lance crying out in relief, raving about how grateful he is and how amazing of a friend Pidge is, albeit a little pointedly. 

Keith and I leave our lions to go to the moon's surface, but as I'm descending down the stairs my holographic panel on my suit fires up and images file in with the Green Lion stamp on its edge… Images of Lance with his hands cuffed to a strange looking tree with purple and lime green bark, looking up indignantly at the camera screen with a burning blush enveloping his entire visage flash up on my suit's holographic screen. 

"Pidge," I murmur into the com with deep respect, "You have no idea how grateful I am that you captured this moment. I will treasure it forever." I hear Lance whining and crying out his objections but I leave my helmet in the White Lion's jaws as she lowers me down so I can ignore them. More images stream in across my panel, a few with Pidge and Hunk grinning like they're just taking a selfie with Lance behind them, his mouth open as he's no doubt berating them for taking advantage of his vulnerable state. I laugh outright as I step out of my lion's mouth, saving them to my suit's computer.  _ I wonder if I can't print these and post them all over the Castle for the amusement of the whole ship…  _

I watch as Rolo, Nyma, and Beezer stumble out of their smoking ship, heads down and shamefaced from where I stand before the jaws of my lion. I approach and wave with faux-amicability.

"Hey there, stranger, long time no see!" I joke, but I make sure that my tone has a hard edge beneath the teasing demeanor. To my surprise they don’t move to attack, rather far from it. Rolo does not meet my eyes, he slumps down by the fire with Nyma and Beezer with his head hung. Nyma holds her head in her hands, like she has a migraine, and closes her eyes with a deep exhale. Part of me is surprised they don’t attack, which I’m grateful for because I’ve proven myself to be a shit fighter, but with Keith at my back I’m more than confident we could’ve taken them.  _ Well… that Keith could’ve taken them while I cheered from the back so I don’t fuck things up a second time. _ They look up at Keith and I as we stand intimidatingly, or at least I’m trying to be, nearby with our arms crossed to ensure they don’t try anything.  _ It’s not like there’s much that they can do; their ship is definitely broken now, and they’ve got nowhere to run. Must be why they look so dejected.  _

The others return a minute or so later, which is fortunate as standing around by the defeated aliens is growing increasingly awkward. 

Lance immediately comes running out from the Green Lion's jaws towards the ship, "I can't believe you used me like that, Nyma!" He races forward, his hands curled into fists with a dark look in his eyes, "That was cruel!"

She is pointedly not looking at him, her hand pressed to her temple like she just got a raging migraine as Lance stands before her, deeply flushed and furious. Eventually when he realizes she won't give him an answer, he whirls and stamps towards their ship indignantly, "Screw you guys! Where's Blue? Where's my Blue?!" Without even sparing them another glance, Lance jumps into their ship, which Rolo and Nyma don't seem to care too much about. Nyma looks down at the ground, her eyes a little sad, but I can't tell if she's sad about what she did or that she was caught, so I don't think too much on whether or not she is deigned worthy of pity.

Honestly, I'm genuinely shocked that their ship could fit the Blue Lion, their cargo hold must be empty if that's the case, but looking around at the crates surrounding us it just very well may be.  _ They were really willing to leave all this behind so they can take the Blue Lion? Have they been working for Zarkon all along?  _

_ No, there’s no way. After seeing Sendak and Haxus’ behavior, this just seems so… random. Out of the blue. I think that Rolo was telling the truth when he said that they were on the run from the Galra, maybe not straight up at war with them but perhaps for some crime, stealing or something, or maybe they just escaped from being his prisoner just like Shiro was. So… that means that this must’ve just been the perfect opportunity for them to redeem themselves, returning with one of the six prizes Zarkon wants above all else for… what? Money probably, power…  _

_ Or maybe even to live. _

We stand around silently until a few minutes later the Blue Lion emerges from the back of the ship, slipping out carelessly and scraping and cracking the metal edges of the open cargo doors in the back. 

Lance returns it to his hanger quickly as Keith addresses Nyma and Rolo, "Since your ship  _ really _ doesn't work now, you'll have to wait here for a rescue." His arms are crossed, and his gaze is hard and focused on Rolo and Nyma's shamefaced expressions.

Rolo immediately lets out a sigh of relief, his shoulders sagging as he speaks, "Thanks... For sparing our lives." 

_ Sparing their lives?  _

_ Did he think we were going to kill them?  _

Hunk crosses his arms, turning to us without a second glance towards the two, "Now that these guys are dealt with, let's get going to save Shay and her family!" He turns towards the Yellow Lion to return to the Castle, yet as I move towards my own lion Rolo's voice behind me causes me to pause.

"You may not believe this, but I hope that you do stop Zarkon." His shoulders are slumped with his eyes on the ground, "It's a lifetime of fighting the Galra that led me to where I am today."

I turn to look at Rolo as the others continue towards their lion without pause. Rolo meets my gaze, there is such a lack of light and hope in his eyes that something in me surges; pity, deep sadness, and hurt, I can’t tell what.  _ He thought we were going to kill them. _ I start speaking without too much thought, "You know what, Rolo? I forgive you." 

I feel the others pause to stare at me as Rolo blinks at me in an uncomprehending manner, so I continue with a hard edge in my voice, "But, it's not because of your honeyed words, or for giving us information earlier, but because I know that you stole the Blue Lion to get in good with Zarkon. Didn't you?"

Rolo blinks at me in surprise and opens his mouth to speak, to argue, but I cut him off, jabbing my finger into the palm of my hand to enunciate on my words, "You don't have to say it, I see it. You did what you did out of fear, just wanting to survive.” I speak in a softer tone, staring back at their vessel with the hanged edges of their cargo hold and the smoke billowing from one of their thrusters. “You were thinking about Nyma, Beezer, yourself, putting y'all in a better position with the Galra, whether you actually fight them or not, because they're the big power. It would be suicide not to, right? Even if your morals told you otherwise."

Rolo merely stares at me, and Nyma blinks at me with her hands in her lap as I spit, "So, Rolo, Nyma, I forgive you 'cause I feel sorry for you. I hope that one day you won't have to live in fear anymore, and when we stop Zarkon, you can start doing what's right rather than what's necessary."

No one moves for a solid second, both Nyma and Rolo appearing completely stunned with wide eyes staring at me. Having said my piece, I turn and enter my Lion's jaws, moving into her cockpit and flying her back to her hanger in the Castle of Lions without another word or a glance behind me. Granted, I'm pretty pissed that they took advantage of Lance like that, but I find it easier to release that rage knowing that it isn't personal. Especially when Rolo looked at us with such genuine relief knowing that we weren’t going to kill them. 

But not bad enough to feel worse for leave them with their ample supplies on the moon we found them on.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---
> 
> *Another, even shorter chapter this time because you know the Balmera will just take forever to write, so I'm just gonna try to split it up into parts. I try not to make each chapter over 10,000 words, you know, just seems too long after that, but sometimes some places are the perfect transition and you just gotta seize upon it because you know one won't come later. Hope y'all enjoyed the chapter, and more will come!
> 
> -tense edited as of 10/22/18-
> 
> Finished 10/15/18**


	12. The Planet of Living Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk is completely enthused about finally getting the team back on the mission to the Balmera to save Shay and her people. Will is unsure of what to expect, but anyone who lives in slavery deserves their freedom. Or, at least, from Hunk's description of the Balmerans, it certainly sounds like slavery.  
> Team Voltron's critical problem solving skills will be put to the test as they attempt to wrest the Balmerans from the Galra's control... and the extra 'friend' who joins them along the way.

No one says anything to me when we board the ship again, leaving Rolo and Nyma behind on the moon. Hunk is more than happy to return to our trajectory back towards the Balmera to liberate Shay and her people, rushing us over the com to return to the bridge so we can go on our way.

We return to the bridge, rather muted after our encounter, Lance especially. As we arrive one by one onto the bridge, I glance over at him worriedly, noticing his eyes are distant and his expression is down. _  I hope he's doing okay. _ _ Getting taken advantage of like that from someone who he was clearly interested in is never fun, and although a part of me feels that he kind of deserved it, the other, larger part of me is kicking the shit out of that smaller part for victim-blaming. Lance doesn't deserve anything, except right now, a hug. _ Lance slumps in his chair as we prepare to launch again, and once we're out of the atmosphere of the moon, back towards our journey to the Balmera, I approach Lance from where he sits, pouting, in his chair.

"Hey man, you doing okay?" I ask tenderly, sitting on the arm to look at him earnestly. He lifts his gaze to mine and he sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair.

"I just can't believe that Nyma would do that! I thought we had a connection." He pouts, letting his shoulders sink, I nod in understanding, the command center filling with the others speaking among themselves. It's a comforting noise, just hearing their intermingling, indistinct voices with the din of the ship, drowning out our conversation for relative privacy, all things considered.

"I know, I'm sorry. That must've been rough." I murmur, resting a hand on his shoulder as he meets my gaze, "But uh... there are plenty of fish in the sea?"

Lance gives me a deadpanned look and huffs, “Thanks, so helpful.” He sits up a little and I let my hand fall as he rolls his neck, “I’ll get ‘em next time!” He confidently states, a little overly confident, most certainly like he’s trying to hide how unconfident he feels. 

“Okay, okay.” I tease in a gentle manner, before raising an eyebrow at him with a lilted grin, “Listen, let me give you some advice. Try taking a more subtle approach when you’re letting someone know you're into them. Like, let them know you're interested, but don't go overboard with the signals, otherwise they'll feel like you're too overbearing." Lance blinks at me stupidly as I slowly hold my hands aloft like scales, "The key is balance, and it's hard to find, but at least trying to find it is better than running in blind, right?"

Lance scoffs, lacing his fingers behind his head as he leans back in his seat, "Oh please, I don't need any advice about getting ladies, I'm a kitty-magnet! And besides, who are you to be giving advice, I don't remember you ever mentioning having a girlfriend back home!"

I try not to roll my eyes, ignoring him completely as I state, "You know, you could start by not dehumanizing women by referring to them as 'kitties'."

Lance blinks at me for several seconds, "That was barely English."

I roll my eyes at him, standing up from my seat on the arm of his chair, "Okay, well, think about it and get back to me once you've looked in a dictionary or something." 

I turn to head back to my seat, running a hand through my hair when I inadvertently meet Keith's gaze where he sits in his seat right behind Lance. I swallow and quickly move my gaze elsewhere, he didn’t look particularly interested, kind of spaced out actually, but he was probably just listening to that whole conversation, and although I'm not sure why, I'm kind of embarrassed.  _ For fucks sake, there’s no need. Why am I so sensitive about everything all of a sudden? _

Allura turns away from her hologram, her eyebrows furrowed in determination as she draws our attention to her, "We'll be arriving at the Balmera soon." I turn to see if I can't spot the planet out the window; I can vaguely see a green outlining of a planet in the distance, nestled among a cluster of constellations. "Liberating these Balmerans from Zarkon's grasp will not be easy." Allura forges on, her gaze dark and determined. 

Lance stands up from his seat and crosses his arms over his chest, pushing up the sleeves of his jacket, "So what's the plan? We go in there and just-- pow, pow pow!" He imitates, badly, the noise that comes from a gun as he shoots invisible bullets around the room, one eyebrow cocked as he waves his finger guns before he settles his hands on his hips, "... And free the prisoners?"

Keith looks at him deadpan from where he stands next to him, leaning on one foot, "What was that noise?"

Lance gives him a shit-eating grin, _  "Laser guns." _

Hunk huffs, "No Lance, I think you mean.." Hunk charges each hand forward like karate chops, "Pchow, pchow, pchow!" he raises his hands above his head, imitating a big cannon and pointing both hands forward with one last,  _ "Pchow!" _

Lance is unimpressed, "That sound like fireworks."

Pidge straightens her glasses, immediately joining the conversation as she constructs a small finger gun in her hand, "Technically they're more like.." Pidge hold out a single finger gun and imitates the shots,  _ "Ba-chew, ba-chew, ba-chew!" _

Shiro waves his hand at us dismissively, "Okay, enough of the bad sound effects." I narrow my eyes at him with a growing grin as I see Shiro desperately attempting to mask his amusement. He's unable to contain himself, adding almost as an afterthought with a slight grin, "Besides, it's more like  _ blam, blam, blam! _ " Shiro gets down on one knee like a cop, turning at rapid speed with his own finger gun as he imitates his own version of the sound.

"What?" "No way!" "You're crazy!" "Wrong." The others immediately cry with indignation, and I can't help but snicker, "Y'all even call yourselves Texans? Talking about shooting guns like that?" I joke. 

Lance scoffs, "Hey, I'm not Texan, but I know my weapon sounds, I’m a Garrison pilot! And if you're so smart, let's see your impression!"

I cock an air shot gun and mimic the sound as best as I can, "Boof!"

"I didn't realize, in all my years in Texas, that shot guns make the same sound as big dogs." Keith grins cheekily and Allura, finally having enough, groans, "Paladins, focus!"

Hunk does so immediately, his gaze firmly planted now over my shoulder and out the window, "Besides, we can't just shoot at the Galra! The Balmera, it's, like... alive, and from what I've seen, it doesn't seem like it's doing very good." I can’t help but raise an eyebrow.  _ It’s alive? I mean, yeah, all planets are technically alive… but for some reason I think he means it in a different way.  _

Allura frowns at this and waves her hand to summon a hologram as I turn back to the front of the ship. The Balmera grows closer, now fully within central view of the ship. It has massive crystals zig-zagging out the of its side, a crest of green, with sickly, yellowed patches along its surface. A hologram is laid over the Balmera's image, with a heat sensor and several Altean words surrounding it.

"Yes." Coran murmurs from the front bow, a hand rested on his waist as his voice is surprisingly soft, "It's an atrocity what the Galra have been doing to this grand beast.”  _ Beast? _ “Stealing its crystals, its very life force, without ever performing the energy rejuvenation ceremonies to heal it." I furrow my eyebrows and regard the Balmera, the sickly yellow patches, the olive green, jutting crystals…  _ That certainly sounds very familiar, taking and taking resources without caring to replenish them. _

The Earth nearly died entirely in the 2050's because big corporations had no regulation on their pollution control. It took around a century before then for those regulations to be put in place, and another for the Earth to recover afterward. It's doing better now, but... It almost wasn't, and I don't think it can ever return to that point, whatever it was before the industrial revolution.

"After seeing Shay's people enslaved, it made me realize how bad Zarkon really is." Hunk murmurs, his gaze set and determined on the Balmera before us. "And we're the only ones who can stop him from doing this to anyone else."

Shiro nods, his eyebrows set in focus, "Okay, so we can't go into the tunnels guns blazing... So, Plan B, we figure out how to draw the Galra up to the surface and battle them out there."

Hunk gasps, "Wait, I know!" He points to the surface of the Balmera, and Allura focuses in the Castle's image of the planet for a better resolution as Hunk continues excitedly, "See, there's all this big mining stuff on the surface, it's real easy to see, so if we attack all of their stuff on the surface, the Galra troops will have to come out to defend it. Then we beat them up, head down into the tunnels, and Voltron saves the day!" He smiles victoriously, his hands on his hips in such a cockily confident manner that I manage a chuckle.

Keith has his arms crossed uncertainly from where he stands beside Lance, "Yeah, but how will we know how many are left down in the tunnels?"

Allura answers with a twitch of her pointed ears, "Oh, we can track the Galra and Balmerans using biothermal life indicator point technology!" She summons a holographic picture of what appears to be a high-tech egg between her hands. 

Pidge gasps excitedly from where she stands by Hunk, "Oh, BLIP tech!" She looks up at Allura with a slight grin as Allura merely meets her gaze with a raised eyebrow, before she explains a tad incredulously, "It's an acronym?"

Allura continues onward, albeit with a slight smile, "One of you will need to fly around the Balmera and drop one of these into the mining shafts, I believe that there are... seven." She pushes the egg, which unfolds into a little spider looking thing, outwards and illustrates its fall in a two dimensional, holographic image of a Balmeran tunnel. It explodes into a full, faux visual of the Balmera's center, showing the seven tunnels and the seven sensors falling to their bottoms as she continues, "Then, we'll be able to see where the Balmerans and the Galra are, and Coran and I can relay that information to you in real time from the Castle!"

Pidge holds up a hand excitedly, "Oh, I can do it! I just modified the Green Lion with the invisible maze's cloaking ability. I should be able to fly around unnoticed."

I blink in shock, “Dude, you what? You can make the Green Lion invisible?!” I let out a high spirited laugh, “That's fucking amazing!”

Pidge merely gives me a self satisfied smile, straightening her glasses, "Hey, what can I say, I'm one of a kind."

Coran raises his hand and pulls up an image of a massive Galra facility from the Balmera's surface. It's got that tell-tale black and purple metal that’s boring into the Balmera's surface with a channel in the middle and spokes around the side, like windmills that don't move. A massive circle rising in the back, like those fancy fans that only rich people have or a drive-in hoop. Coran points to it with an enthused cry, "That's the main power generator! If you take that down, it will severely weaken all of their defenses!"

Allura nods, resting her hands on her guiding system on either side of her and summoning forth three holographic panels, one on either side of her and one in front of her as she types in several commands on the one on her left and her right, "We'll stay in the cloud cover and provide tactical support, but with the Castle's defenses weakened from Sendak's crystal, we won't be of much help to you."

Shiro raises an eyebrow, his arms crossed, "The Castle was weakened by that crystal?" 

Allura nods again, turning to him with a momentary pause in her commands on the holographic panel, "Yes. Coran and I aren't entirely certain as to what happened. We estimate that the sundering of the Castle's systems will fix itself in time... But it hasn’t quite yet." She smiles a little at Shiro as he regards her with a worried gaze, "But don't worry, it will. And we can provide some assistance, it just won't be at our full capacity until the systems work out the complications."

Shiro lets out a soft breath, his gaze focused and calculating as he turns to us with a commanding tone, "Keith, Lance, Hunk, you take out the big mining rigs around the Balmera to draw out the Galra forces. Pidge’ll drop the BLIPs, and Will, you and I will take out the power generator. " 

I frown a little at Shiro, "You sure you want me to do that? That seems kind of important, I don't know if I'll be of much help to-"

Shiro cuts me off with a deft shake of his head, "You know how to operate your lion, you'll be fine. And I could use someone to watch my back."

I feel my frown turn more into a scowl as I regard Shiro.  _ Does he want me to come along so he can watch me? It wouldn't be hard for him to take down one facility in the Black Lion, and there are more rigs out along the planet that the others would need help with... _ _ I don't know. Maybe this is an olive branch? I mean, the last time that it was Shiro and I working on something together, it was to keep Sendak out of the Castle, and I certainly did mess that up, so maybe he's showing me that he still trusts me? Maybe I'm just overthinking it? _

Hunk pumps his fists in the air as he lets out a cry of excitement, cutting into my thoughts, "Yeah, okay, let's do this! Let's go kick some alien butt!"

"Let's get to our lions." Shiro responds in kind and we disperse to our individual transporting elevators to get to our lion's hangers. I hear Lance speak in a whimsical tone over the com in our helmets, "Do you think the Balmerans will have a parade for us after we've freed everybody?"

Keith answers as I walk towards my lion where she rests with her head between her paws, "It's not about the glory, Lance, it's about freeing prisoners from Zarkon."

Lance huffs indignantly, “No, I know, I know, but still, when they…” His intermission breaks off with a loud crackle, no doubt as he launches his lion into space from his hanger. I slide into the pilot's seat in the White Lion, her controls sparking to life as I smirk, "You know what? This is the American dream." I remotely open the hangar doors, as I continue with a teasing lilt, "We're about to dish out some freedom, in massive war machines, to a society-slash-place that we otherwise have no business being in!  _ 'Murica! _ " The others laugh softly under their breath at my terrible history/political joke and it fills me with a little bit of warmth. 

I open the hanger and air rushes in at breakneck speed, roaring loudly enough that I can hear it within my cabin; I press the White Lion out of the Castle as it begins to descend into the Balmera's atmosphere. I watch the others launch out of their bays, and we fly in formation towards the surface, nothing but the sulfuric, yellow-green gas clouds engulfing us.

As we break the clouds, I spot the Galra main power generator immediately, nestled just like in Coran's image on the Castle into the stony surface of the Balmera. As soon as we spot them, they apparently see us too, as the defenses immediately begin firing upwards with bolts of purple light lashing out at us from the defense core, and some from beyond the stone from smaller Galra buildings that encircle what look like massive holes in the ground; the mining facilities that Hunk mentioned. 

We break formation to dodge as Shiro's voice commands over the com, "This is it, get your heads in the game! Remember, the Balmera is a living creature! Make sure you pinpoint the Galra stations and not its surface." I nod affirmatively as I move to follow the Black Lion down towards the defense system as the others peel away to take out the surrounding mining facilities.

I press my thumbs into the buttons on either side of my control rods and the White Lion's mouth laser beam fires onto the facility below, cutting into the Galran spokes that spiral above the main power generating channel looking-thing at the base of the massive circular spoke, with a triangular tip like a brand. As soon as I do, the triangular tip immediately flares a brilliant violet, and I barely move the White Lion out of the way fast enough as a massive pulse explodes from it and nearly blasts her out of the sky. I twist into barrel roll through the sky to avoid the blast, and when I look up through the spinning gaze of the White Lion I’m a second too late to see the ground. We collide with a massive thud, scraping deep into the soil and I quickly twist us with a growl of frustration back into the air. I feel a soft noise in my palms, like she's grumbling at me in annoyance. _ Sorry! I’m working on it! _

Suddenly, an image flashes behind my eyes as I right myself, a button on the control panel in front of me, illuminated a brighter white than the rest. I blink and the image vanishes immediately, I almost doubted it happened at all when I hear Shiro's voice over the com, "Will, you good?"

I frown and smooth the White Lion out of the way of oncoming fire from the smaller spokes surrounding the facility with an annoyed tone, "Sorry, I'm good!"  _ I'm just a shit flyer.  _

I glance back at the control panel in front of me and spy the button, which clearly states 'LANCE' in capital letters.  _ Okay, so you want me to press this button, got it, let’s see how this goes. _ I press it as commanded and I feel mechanics move within her jaws below me: a massive pole-arm unfolds between her teeth at least two lions shoulder-breath across on either side with wicked sharp blades on the end.  _ Just like my bayard. _

_ Okay, that's pretty sweet. _

I grin and affirm my grip on the White Lion's controls,  _ this might just be easier than trying to fire shots on the thing.  _ I press the White Lion forward and race towards the facility, dodging to the sides as bolts of energy from the triangular, central spoke come firing down upon my lion and I with surprising success. I dive down and with the end of the lance on the White Lion's right I rip  through the side of the Galra channel in front of the facility, what looks like the main source of power, with the sound of screaming metal and explosions following in our wake. I spot Shiro on the other side of the facility with a double edged jaw blade in the Black Lion's mouth as we slice through the metal together, and I feel a twinge of satisfaction; _  the Galra power core definitely doesn't stand a chance. _

Pidge's voice pipes over the com, "All sensors delivered!"

The massive pulse shooting spoke in the middle of the main generator is firing off faster each second, following the Black Lion as Shiro dodges and rolls out of range. Once he gets too far away to accurately fire upon the pulses zone in on me, the closer target. I disengage the lance in my Lion's mouth to dodge faster as the energy pulses rain down upon us, dodging to the left, diving downward and back up, but I feel like I'm about to throw up at how much I'm spinning. I dive downward again to avoid the next pulse just as the Red Lion comes whizzing by over my head with a powerful, vibrating purr that I can feel even from in here. I still and watch as the Red Lion shoots a lava jet into the large weapon's metal spoke from its jaws like its a dragon breathing fire. I watch in awe as it sears through the middle, molten metal falling in glooping drops to the ground as Keith laughs, "Whoa, did you guys just see that? I've got fire power!"

Lance whines immediately, "Hey, I want that! Where did that come from?" 

Suddenly, the massive metal beam begins to break, slumping downward against itself with the loud shriek of snapping metal as Keith murmurs under his breath, "Oh no."

It begins to topple off to the side and I watch with wide eyes as it slowly crumples like a fallen skyscraper when out of nowhere the Yellow Lion zooms past me, diving underneath it with a shout, "Hey! We can't let this thing hurt the Balmera!"

I snap out of it and immediately press the White Lion's controls forward to follow the Yellow Lion, who keeps itself in between the falling spire and the Balmera's surface to prevent it from falling any further. I bring up my lion beside his as I feel the metal clash against our lions' shoulders before then frantically searching the control rod under my hands until I find the thrusters force/magnitude, cranking it up to maximum. I feel her thrusters burst with renewed energy as we barely stop the spoke's fall before it crushes us into the ground… But now, we're hovering in the air with a broken piece of metal that we can't let fall. 

Lance suddenly comes over the mic, "Wait, I think my lion knows what to do!" I hear the beam blast before I see it, like a high pitched triangle being struck. I look up through my lions eyes to see that the scarred metal is being encased in glittering ice, racing across its surface like an army of little icy mice. I quickly shove Hunk out of the way as our lions move to avoid the encroaching frost, and as we peel away to rejoin Red and Blue Lions who hover in the air just beyond it, I see that the pillar is now held in place by solid ice, glimmering like a massive crystal in the sunlight.

"Aw, snap! These rays are super cool, just like me!" Lance grins triumphantly over the mic. 

I let out a breath, shaking my head with a wondering tone, "It's so strange how we are discovering new secrets about our lions every day. Great job, Lance."

"Great job team!" Shiro calls, and I look over my shoulder to see the Black Lion flanked by the Green Lion fly past. He lands on the new Galra ice sculpture and we follow just behind, and as we gaze out over the landscape we catch our breath before the swarm comes.

Except, it doesn't.

The destroyed mining facilities nearby are still, and there is no movement in sight save for the smoke rising from them, but after several seconds, minutes, nothing comes; no Galra ships, no fighters, nobody. The land is desolate. Keith reflects my thoughts with a worried tone, "...Where are all the troops? They're not coming to the surface."

Hunk nods, and I can hear his eyebrows furrowing through the com, "Yeah, I remember seeing a lot of Galra guys down in the mines."

Allura's voice cracks over the com, her voice sharp and commanding, "We've located a hanger full of Galra fighters just beneath the surface! Someone has to take those out before they can launch!"

Shiro grumbles, "Keith, Lance, you guys hit the hanger. Hunk and Will, head to the prison and rescue Shay and the other Balmerans. Pidge and I will track down the Galra soldiers."

The others launch off of our resting place on the ice, but I feel my hands hesitate over the White Lion's controls, "No, Shiro, wait, we shouldn't head down there! You said we should bring them to the surface!"

"I know, but they're leaving us no choice, we can't just sit here and wait." Shiro responds evenly, but I'm not satisfied. 

I grit my jaw, "This has got to be a trap! They must know that's what we intend to do and are probably fortifying their position down there, or something, that's where they're strongest! We-"

Shiro sighs, "I know, they're luring us down, but we have no choice except to follow."

I curl my lip and touch my helmet, like that'll make my voice any clearer, "There's always a choice. If we continue to destroy their mining operations on the surface, they'll have to come out or be trapped down there! They can't hide forever!"

Hunk replies sharply, "Yeah, but they might do something to the Balmerans to get us to stand down if we don't! We have to go down there and get them first!"

I furrow my eyebrows as Shiro joins in with Hunk, "Look, I don't like it either, but we know what they're trying to do so we won't fall for it if we're cautious and prepared." Reluctantly, I let the matter drop and merely let out a sigh. After my silence, the Black Lion launches from off the surface of the iced Galra spoke as Shiro commands, "Let’s go!"

I press my controls forward and follow Hunk down into one of the Balmeran mine shafts as the others split off, continuing across the landscape to enter different tunnels; we descend.

The tunnels are dark, and the massive shaft we entered leads down to several tunnels that spread through the Balmera, each about as big as a tunnel that a semi truck could fit through. There is no one in sight, and I feel the hair on the back of my neck prickle as our lions land at the bottom of the pit. "Doesn’t look like our lions will fit." I murmur with a huff, “Guess we’re going on foot.” 

I race down the stairs and into my lion's jaws. She lowers her belly to the floor and lies on the earth, her maw open like a sleeping sphinx. I engage my visor, activating my oxygen supply and immediately I see numbers flash on the holographic panel of my wrist, they look like markers for atmospheric composition and interior suit conditions. I race out of her jaws quickly as her barrier erects around herself, glimmering brilliantly white against the mellow, red-stony backdrop of the tunnel's stone. Hunk races down to join me as the Yellow Lion does the same, lying next to the White Lion with their backs pressed against one another almost protectively, their barriers intermingling and connecting together where they meet. I glance over at Hunk, who is examining the darkened tunnel around us, before he taps on his helmet, "Allura, Coran, what's my location? All of these tunnels look the same, I can't remember where the prison is!"

Coran answers immediately, "Take the tunnel in front of you, then turn right at the next tunnel. I'll send you the map so you can see the course." My eyes slowly adjust to the dimmer lighting within the tunnel, and I see that all around us are several tunnels, the one in question that lies before us has a craggy opening and leads on into darkness beneath. With a determined noise, Hunk takes off at a dead run into the tunnel, and after a moment's hesitation I race after him. My boots pound into the dusty terrain, similar to the deserts of Texas come to think of it, and because of the darkness all I can see clearly is the white and yellow of Hunk's suit ahead of me.  _ He is a big guy, kind of hard to miss, thankfully.  _

As we delve deeper, the tunnel slopes downward a little, and I nearly trip and fall over a craggy stone, so I focus on where my feet are landing while still keeping pace with Hunk. Despite how large he is, he's pretty damn fast.  _ He seems pretty dead set on finding Shay and her family; I've never seen him so determined before. _  My eyes eventually grow used to the darkness and I can finally see the jutting stones in the walls with what look to be some type of glimmering stone embedded at regular intervals along the sides. We round a corner, and I brace my fingertips against the wall to keep my balance when an opening appears to our right, as Coran said. Hunk continues at a run, and I can hear his breath coming in heavier draws over the com as I race after him.  _ When was the last time I ran? Like, really ran? Gym, back on Earth. It's not like we've been idle in the Castle, the training's been hard, but we haven't exactly gone jogging as a team, and my lungs are  _ **_not_ ** _ thanking me for it.  _

"Once you get there, you'll come upon a set of energy doors." Coran's voice suddenly comes of the com with a startling jar, "Be careful though, it looks like it's heavily guarded!" 

I peer into the tunnel we've turned into, wishing I can see what Coran thinks is 'heavily guarded' as I can feel the temperature drop, even through my suit, as we descend down further. Hunk doesn't slow, in fact, he seems to speed up, engaging his bayard in his hand as he races through the new, now narrowing tunnel, barely big enough for a decently sized SUV to squeeze through.

The tunnel turns, and up ahead I see that the tunnel spills into a large rocky chamber with a massive purple energy field blocking our path. I move to grind to a stop just before we would be spotted, but Hunk doesn't even pause. I blink and hiss out as loudly as I dare, “Hunk? What're you…?”

I spot sentries, hiding behind the rock surrounding the door. Hunk only halts in his run once they fire on him, and he dives off to the side behind a craggy outcropping in the wall right as the blasts strike where he once stood.  _ Goddamnit, now we’re separated. _

I engage my bayard into its lance form with a flick of my wrist and engage the shield, racing forward to rejoin him just as he leaps out and engaging his bayard into a massive gun. I race up next to him and stretch out my arms in front of us both with my shield, shouting in warning, "Don't shoot me!" Hunk hears me too late, however, and he doesn't move his gun in time for my shield to clash over it, except... it doesn't clash, like I was expecting it to. Instead, his gun phases through the particle barrier, its nozzle that's as big around as my fist jutting out towards the sentries hiding in the cliffs around the holographic door.  _ Just like in training that one time with Lance’s bayard.  _

Slowly, My gaze meets Hunks, and wicked grins grow across our faces. 

"Oh, it's on." He cries gleefully, and his grip on his bayard tightens as he aims it more upright, moving through my shield and pointing toward the sentries as their violet shots ricochet off of my barrier. I call out over the din of the rapid-fire, "Let's move closer for a clearer shot!" 

Hunk yells something that sounds like an affirmation, and together we progress towards the door with my shield out as the sentries fire grows denser. Luckily, my shield is large, and even from the widespread angle from either side of the door my shield deflects all the shots if they don't outright miss me. I just have to carefully keep the shield in the middle, covering both Hunk and I, as massive golden bolts rocket from his bayard and into the sentries hidden in the cave wall. Hunk lets out a war cry, his shots breaking stone and rending metal; robotic limbs fly, and a metal hand grazes my shoulder from the violent burst as the enemy fire all but ceases. 

All is quiet for a few seconds as Hunk and I examine the walls above for any further signs of movement, but all is quiet save for the hum of the energy doors barring our way on. Hunk speaks apprehensively as he lowers his bayard, "Yeah, that was way too easy. I definitely don't have a good feeling about this."

I nod in agreement, letting my bayard vanish back into my suit as I approach the door. It's big and violet, shimmering like the surface of the pond with energy like in the particle barriers of our lions. Hunk moves off to the side, and I follow his gaze to a black, metal sheet branded into the wall. There is a purple symbol floating in the middle, it look a bit like a handprint, with three fingers and a thumb, and some violet symbols beneath it. Hunk glances at me with a raised eyebrow, and shrugs as he rests his hand on the surface before I can protest. However, as soon as he touches it, the door falls, letting out soft thrums as it deactivates. 

"Yeah," I mumble as I examine the darkness that leads beyond, the tunnel curving to the left out of the room, "This is  _ way  _ too easy. Why isn't the door locked?"

"Probably a trap… But we gotta save Shay." Hunk replies with his jaw set in determination, and he waves at me with a hand as his bayard disengages back into his suit, "Come on." He walks at a slight crouch, his footfalls muffled the sandy surface as he presses himself against the wall towards the bend in the tunnel. I mirror his movement just behind him into the darkness beyond the door.  _ Good, I’m not a fan of the sprinting into battle thing.  _

_ I don’t think I’ve seen Hunk so… brave before. Not that he isn’t, he’s just… very cautious. I expect this sort of straight headed behavior out of Shiro, but Hunk doesn’t look remotely afraid right now; he looks in his element. _

We pause at the curve in the tunnel, just in time, too, as we hear the mechanical clanking footsteps of sentries that thud at regular intervals. Hunk peers around the corner with a swift turn of his head before he presses it back against the wall behind him, glancing over at me with a muted whisper, "They just turned the other way. It's a four way intersection."

I nod with a determined gaze, whispering as loud as I have the guts to manage, "I'll go first so I can shield us, but let's not alert them if we can." Hunk nods in agreement, and I round around him with my lance loosely held in my right hand with the blade dragging in the dirt behind me as I turn into the tunnel. A pair of sentries are at the far end of the tunnel, already headed around the corner and as soon as I'm fully in the tunnel they turn out of sight. To the right is a soft purple light, and I glance to the left tunnel to see that it is utterly barren.  _ Yeah, this is way too easy. This can't be what Coran considers 'heavily defended.' _

Hunk races forward from behind me, and I quickly follow after him as he ducks into the right hand hall. It's blocked almost immediately by the same kind of energy door as before, but smaller, only about two Hunk-sized people could go through, with a similar, black keypad beside it. Through the shimmering violet surface, I can barely make out what appear to be shapes, figures, and my curiosity is immediately sated as Hunk practically slams his hand against the Galra keypad and the door falls. 

The four Balmerans inside lift their heads in surprise from where they're seated in the small room, violet light from a similar door behind them turning everything purplish and violet from its light.

They have soft yellow-white eyes, like daisies, with no irises or pupils. They have rocky skin that matches the earth of the Balmera and big ears like cats on top of their flat, craggy faces, yet they don't seem dexterous; in fact, they appear about has hard as bone. Some of their rocky ears have large, gold-ish yellow rings in them, like jewelry, and they all have similar ragged tunics of various earth tones hanging loosely from their massive frames. Even the smallest Balmeran in the room, with flakes of hanging stone hanging from their face like old sheetrock, is about as big as Hunk and as tall as Shiro. Some have horns on top of their heads, under their chins, or both, and shades of greens and browns like that of the Balmera in their skin. Beyond them is another energy door, and another and another, and I see that there are hundreds, if not thousands of these little cages scattered in this hold, and into the depths of the Balmera, each leading into another. 

_ These can't be their permanent holdings, how do the ones further in get out? Their cells are in one long line, and I don't see anything in this room that resemble living arrangements, like a bed or food or anything. They must have made these recently... But why? _

One of the Balmerans gasps, their voice cracking like concrete under a hot sun as they speak, "Hunk! You have returned!"

Hunk grins, and the other two aliens rise to their feet and rush him, giving him a warm welcome with their hands on his head and his shoulders. It's honestly so  _ weird  _ to see Hunk around figures that make him look small. 

Hunk's voice is relieved as answers, "I promised I'd be back! We're here to help." He gestures at me with a thumb over his shoulder, his gaze flickering to each of the four Balmerans before he murmurs, "... Where's Shay?" 

One Balmeran, who scowls and gives Hunk a mean look, did not rise to greet him as the others did. He sits stoic and tall, his hardened ear-like features flat against his skull as he curls his lip and glares at Hunk. He replies from his seat on the floor with a spitting fury that it doesn't take an anthropologic genius to understand, "Our life may not have been perfect, but at least our family was  _ whole _ . Your arrival has left us imprisoned, and torn apart!" He hisses, his gaze hard with fury on us as he sits, unmoving, within the prison. "As soon as your attack started, they took her away to the Core of the Balmera!" His voice cracks, and I see now that he has what appeared to be tear-streaks on his cheeks from the pale white-yellow of his widened eyes, unblinking in the darkness of the tunnel, "For all we know, she could be... gone. For good!"

Suddenly, Allura's voice comes over the com, scaring the shit out of me from where I stand at the mouth of the prison cell, "Paladins, are you there? The Galra troops are moving down the tunnels! It looks like they're going down towards the center!"

Hunk immediately turns away from the Balmerans, his eyes flying wide as he gasps, "They must be headed to the Core of the Balmera, that's where they're holding Shay!" He looks back to the Balmerans with a surprisingly commanding tone, "Hurry, you gotta get you and your people out of here. We'll find Shay, I promise." Hunk's voice is raw with worry, the likes of which I've never heard come from his usually gentle demeanor as he whirls back to me and races back where he came without another word. I turn to follow, but I hesitate as I glance back at the Balmerans. They haven't moved, merely staring at the space where Hunk just was with wide eyes, like statues in the dark place.

My voice gentle as I speak apprehensively."I'm sorry that our arrival caused you this pain. We are going to do whatever that we can to set it right, as little as a stranger's word may mean to you." I murmur apologetically, taking a step back as I glance in the direction Hunk went before I turn back to the Balmeran's wide eyes, "Free yourselves, quickly, and we'll do our best to make sure they don't come after you." I wave a hand in parting before I turn and sprint after Hunk, the Balmerans staring after us, and hopefully before they begin to free their comrades. Hopefully.

Shiro sighs over the com, "They're definitely drawing us into an ambush, but we don't have a choice if we want to save Shay. We have to follow. Lance, Keith, get to the core, I think we're gonna need everyone together to get through this firefight." I race down the tunnel after Hunk, who slows to a walk as we break into the main room. He checks on his map as we proceed more at a quick walk rather than a run, which my lungs are intensely grateful for. 

Allura projects the tunnels into our system, and I see that our dots, glimmering in our respective lion's colors, are all now moving towards the center at various speeds, with lots of purple dots flickering throughout from what I can only guess as the Galra. 

I can't shake the sinking feeling in the pit of my ribcage that this is a terrible idea.

"I don't like this." I grumble into the com, "Maybe there's another way. We don't have to fall directly where they want us to… Maybe only a few of us should go, while the others hang back, or something?" I ask over the com. 

Lance replies incredulously, "To do what? Watch? Or are you just scared to get into a real fight?" 

I'm almost goaded into digging my teeth into Lance over the com but Shiro interrupts me with a verbal shake of his head, "I know it's risky, but we don't know what we're facing. We're strongest when we're together, splitting up will only weaken us." The ground begins to slope downwards as we descend further into the Balmera, and I check my map to ensure that we are on the right path to head towards the center, but Hunk's gaze is firmly set on his wrist, his walk so damned spirited that I have to jog a little to keep up with him. 

I growl in frustration, "You just said it, we don't know what we're facing! They're trying to get us into one place on purpose, and I don't think we should give it to them!"

Shiro's voice answers curtly, with a hint of impatience on the edge of his tone, "Will, we don't have time to argue about this. Can I count on you?"

I seethe at the thought that that's even a  _ question _ , but I let out a gust of air to release the anger before I dare to speak, "... You always can. I'm just trying to think of all of our options."

"Well, until you come up with a better one, this is the only plan we've got, alright?" Shiro's voice returns to its more charismatic, commanding tone that I'm used to, and I merely huff in response.

Suddenly, the ground beneath our feet trembles, violently. I struggle to keep upright, grabbing onto the wall as Hunk sprawls straight onto his face a bit of a ways away from me. I hear what sounds like a deep-bellied cry from the ground far beneath our feet, like whale song except for a thousand times louder, shaking the very walls.

Pidge comes over the com with an edge of worry, "Be careful! The Balmera is very unstable." 

_ That’s the Balmera? This… that makes sense. The entire planet is a massive living creature, that’s apparently doing unwell. I mean, of course it isn’t doing well, there’s a bunch of Galra digging around inside of it for who knows how long, and now I can’t imagine the kind of damage its sustaining from stray shots and the like from our attack. _

The ground's trembling lessens after a few moments, and I quickly move to Hunk and grab onto his hand to help him rise to his feet. His large hand clasps my shoulder as he looks back down at the soft yellow light of his holographic screen, and I see that the Core, where we're headed, is close. We look at one another for a brief moment, and I match his stride as he races ahead with a sudden burst of adrenaline. Out of the darkness a tunnel appears ahead of us, too small if I were to get up onto Hunk's shoulders to enter, and barely wide enough for us both to head through side by side. I grasp my hand into a fist and summon my bayard in preparation, racing just ahead of Hunk and charging forward through the tunnel. For a moment or two we’re racing in utter darkness until I spot a light just ahead, faint and pulsing orange as we turn a corner,  _ we're almost there. _

Hunk lets rip a resounding battle cry from behind me, and before I can say anything he charges past me, his bayard out in front of him like a battering ram. I race after him quickly, ready to summon forth my big boy shield as we break into the Core.

The room is circular, with a massive orange tree-trunk like pillar in the center that has glowing holes to reveal what look like soft firefly-like light from within, flickering and pulsing with color found in the sky at the dawn of a new day. Several doorways like ours circle around the room, Galra in origin as they have the tell-tale black and purple metal, but the only person within is a Balmeran with little ears drooped down by their jawline and black horns on their jaw. They hang from a floating Galra orb by a pair of familiar Galra shackles and what looks like a Galra muzzle over their mouth, which they struggle against when they spots us with wide, yellow eyes. No sentries, no Galra in sight.

"Shay! You're alive!" Hunk cheers enthusiastically, and with a grunt he aims his bayard at the orb over her head. A yellow bolt fires and it causes the orb to explode on impact as he rushes forward, dropping his gun as Shay falls from the air. He catches her just before she hits the floor, setting her down onto her feet as she immediately wraps her hands behind her head to take off the muzzle. I see now from where she stands that she's definitely got a head on Hunk, with biceps and forearms as thick as tree branches and feet as large as a cinderblock.  _ Damn. She could probably bench Hunk. No wonder he likes her. _

Shiro bursts into the room as I approach Shay. She flickers her gaze down to mine as I raise my hands up and grab at the straps behind her head to undo them, I have to get on my toes to do it.

Shiro pants, his voice echoing in the room once he’s reached us, "Where are the Galra?" He looks around the room, his eyebrows furrowed suspiciously, "If this is an ambush, they should be waiting for us."

Pidge runs in from another side of the room as I get the straps undone for Shay, and as Shiro speaks a sudden icy spike punches my side, right by my hip. Immediately I growl, "It’s because it’s not an ambush. This is just like the Castle." I tap onto my helmet to ensure the com's engaged as I shout, "Keith, Lance, don't come into the core! It's a trap!"

Suddenly, the door on the other side of the room opens, and Lance and Keith come running through with their bayards summoned. As soon as they burst in, every door leading into the core slams shut, the room shaking with a loud thud as they collectively lock in place.  _ Fuck, my warning came too late.  _

The pair blink, whirling around to the door they just came through. Keith pushes at the seams and attempts to pry them apart with his bayard, but to no avail. I run towards the closest one to me in order to pry it open with my bayard as well, attempting to pierce into the middle seam with the blade and push it out. It creaks, but it does not budge, I can’t get the blade of my bayard in so I have no leverage. I growl in annoyance and kick the door. Even though it doesn't do anything, I at least feel a bit better.

Keith grumbles, jumping down into the center with his sword at the ready, "Well, whatever it is, keep your guard up."

Shay finally manages to get her muzzle off, and she gasps for breath before she speaks, "The Galra, they gained knowledge that you would return to the Balmera!" She talks quickly, anxiously, in a voice that sounds very much like a delicate pixie's. I know it's probably stereotypical that I assumed it was deep, considering how massive she is, but I admit I'm a little taken aback by the stark difference between her voice and her appearance. 

“How?” Pidge asks with a raised eyebrow from the other side of Shay.

Shay glances at her with a slight pout, staring at Hunk with a soft, saddened gaze, like a child who just got in trouble with the teacher, "I know not!" She looks down at her feet, and with the position her ears are fixed in it looks like they're drooping sadly, like a puppy's, "They set this trap just for you... I was the bait."

Shiro furrows his eyebrows with a deep frown, "Who could've possibly known that we were heading here to save Shay?"

Hunk's jaw suddenly sets as he growls, "Rolo! Those liars must have told Zarkon."

I tilt my head, thinking aloud, "How could he possibly have known? I don't think we mentioned that we were going to the Balmera. And even if they did snitch on us, the Galra were ready. Like, ridiculously ready. It took us what, half an hour to get here, less? This preparation looks like it would've taken at least a day or two, you saw the cells, the doors!" I say to Hunk, before I shake my head and glance back out at the others so that it doesn't look like I'm attacking him in particular, "... It couldn't have been them."

Shiro turns his back on us as he examines the room, his hands curled into fists, "How they know aside, we have to figure out how to get out of here."

"Wait!" Lance cries, "We have a giant Castle-ship hovering in the sky!" He touches his helmet and speaks clearly into his earpiece, looking up at the ceiling, "Allura! Can you please come get us?"

Keith roll his eyes, his arms crossed over his chest from where he stands beside Lance, "How do you expect her to do that, genius?"

Lance huffs, "I don't know, maybe they've got teleporters, or something!"

I can't help but chuckle dryly and derisively, "This isn't  _ Universe of Stars _ , Lance."

Allura responds with a definite edge in her voice, "We're a little occupied at the moment!" She gasps, and a soft crackle comes over the com as I hear the distant sound of weapons discharging, "We're completely surrounded by Galra ships, and we're taking heavy fire!"

I hold my breath, furiously thinking as Allura's voice spikes in worry, "Paladins, you need to get out of there as soon as you can!" 

"This is it! We're gonna die in here." Lance sniffles dramatically, hanging his head, "I can say 'bye-bye' to that parade!" 

I punch his arm to bring his attention back to the present as Shiro shakes his head, "Get it together guys! Allura, we'll get there as soon as we can!" We grow silent, the sound of our collective wheels turning the only thing that can be heard within the lit room. I notice Shay shift from one foot to the other, as if she has an idea but is afraid to speak, and as she looks at Hunk with wide eyes he raises an eyebrow at her and speaks in a gentle tone, "Do you have any ideas, Shay?"

"Perhaps... my people can help us." She clasps her hands together in front of her, her eyes widening a little as if the idea jarred something in her memory, and we turn to her with a collective look of confusion. She looks to the tree-like pillar in the center of the room and slowly she raises a massive hand to its glowing, stony surface, "This is how we communicate." 

As soon as her hand touches the spire, the surface beneath her touch illuminates a brilliant yellow, like the surface of the sun, as she murmurs, sounding as if she's deep in thought, "The Balmera senses our vibrations, and sends a message to those in the tunnels."

I blink, my mouth open in awe, "Wow... To anywhere within?"

Shay nods as she faces the pillar, closing her eyes as Keith mumbles, unconvinced, "Are you sure someone will be able to hear your... hand... from all the way down here?"

Shay doesn't move from her concentrated stance, merely stating in a confident tone, "The Balmera will deliver the message."

Under her hand, the outer orange shell of the pillar radiates in the same, soft yellow glow beneath Shay's hands, and the room is filled with a soft noise, deep beneath our feet, like a whale echoing through the stone from thousands of miles away.

All is silent for a few minutes until Allura suddenly crackles over the com, "Paladins, the lions are in danger! You must get back to them immediately!" Her voice is urgent, fast-paced, and the quiet calm of the room is immediately fractured.

_ This is just like when Sendak took over the Castle. They drew us all away, locking us in instead of locking us out to get the Castle and to get our lions. And we fell right into it. Fucking hell, we got played like a damn fiddle. _

We don't answer, nervously looking at one another as we watch Shay, silent and unmoving, with her hand pressed to the pillar. Allura gasps out in a flurried fashion, "Paladins, do you copy? There's a battle cruiser has locked onto us. If it fires with its ion cannon... I don't think we can survive."

I grit my teeth, biting my lip as I struggle against the horrible feeling of helpless, like there are ants crawling under my skin. I turn around in the room to look for any other signs of exit.  _ The doors are a no-go... Maybe if I find something small enough to wedge in the seams, and strong enough to rip them open... _

Finally, Lance rambles in reply, "We're trying, Allura, Shay's pressing her hand against the wall which apparently sends vibrations to the other rock people, who vibrate back, or something? Hand talking? I guess the answer to your question is, 'Yes, we copy.'"

Shiro lets out a pent up breath, "Shay, are you sure the Balmera is sending your message?" 

Shay does not answer, but the pulsing, yellow light that emanates from the stony pillar flickers.

I furrow my eyebrows and head over to the nearest door, summoning my bayard and deciding one last time to break it. However, as soon as I thrust my blade into the seam, the very walls begin to groan and I freeze, taking several steps back as the stone surrounding the metal door trembles. I watch as the stone grows and clamps down like a clenching fist, collapsing the door between its walls, before it rips itself open again and opening us to the halls beyond. The four Balmerans from earlier, Shay's family, I assume, are on the other side with the angry one from before - with the fixed ears laid back against his skull - leading the pack.

Shay gasps immediately as she turns away from the pillar, "Rax!" She races to the Balmerans, and Rax, the pissed off looking one, now speaks with newborn determination, "We must make haste! We know a shortcut through the tunnels to return you to your beasts, but you must hurry!"

We race forward to follow them as Shiro calls over the com with a relieved sigh, "Allura, stand by, we're on our way up!"

As we break into the larger tunnel, Rax grabs my shoulder with one hand and Hunk's with the other and turns us towards a tunnel to our right, smaller than the others as he speaks rapid-fire, "Follow that path. Shay says your beast is yellow, and that is where it lies. Make haste!" He thrusts us both forward with surprising strength to the point that I'm nearly stumbling, and I hear him calling with a worried tremor in his voice, "I fear they will not remain there long!" 

Hunk lets out a breath of relief, and salutes Rax over his shoulder, "Thanks, Rax!"

Before he answers, Hunk and I race off away from the others and dive into the tunnel, heading uphill, which is  _ hell  _ on my calves. I hear Hunk breathing heavily beside me and our pace wavers, when all of a sudden I hear my lion; I know her sounds, she'd purr in my dreams, she's purred within me when I pilot her, and when we have bonding moments, but right now, she's  _ growling _ , angry and hostile, hissing and spitting like a cornered cat. Hunk's breath hitches from the previous heavy panting, and as we glance at each other I realize that his lion must be making a similar noise, too. Shot with an instant pulse of adrenaline, we press on at a dead sprint up the steep hill and as we arrive to the top we spill out into the main shaft that leads to the surface.  _ Praise the Balmerans, that  _ **_was_ ** _ fast. _

The shaft is basked in a malevolent red light, engulfing the entirety of the Yellow and White Lions. They creak as they’re slowly lifted off the earth and towards the sky, being sucked up by four drones that are each projecting that strange red light onto them and making the lions look like golf balls floating in cider.

"Fuck, NO!" I race forward, sprinting faster than I think I ever have towards my lion as its slowly dragged into the sky. Her head is raised just out of reach, her shoulders upward with her head hanging down like a cat being held by the scruff of its neck. As I close in on her, her barrier falls, her massive paws are just barely off the ground, I act without thinking. I leap with as much force as my legs allow, landing squarely on the back of her paws. I hear Hunk's voice indistinct below me, but all I can focus on in that moment is hanging onto my lion as we're slowly dragged into the air, like holding onto rocks cascading down a mountainside. My muscles are screaming from the strain, but as I look up at my lion her maw opens wide like she’s grinning.  _ She’s trying to help me up best as she can. _ I struggle to hang on as her paw moves, the whir of mechanics beneath her pearly, metallic surface rising her paw to her jaws until she practically shoves the back of her paw into her mouth. I immediately slide off of the paw and brace myself against one of her sharp teeth, and she lets her paw drop as I immediately slide at an awkward angle to the doorway on the far side of her mouth. I let out a wild, victorious laugh as soon as the doors slide shut behind me, racing up the stairs and collapsing into the pilot's chair. I turn off the oxygen supply in my suit as the lion's internal system engages, and I grab the controls with a relieved exhale, "Sorry I'm late. Let's wreak some havoc!"

I smash the polearm weapon button on her panel and the tractor beams that hold my lion pulse with the additional strain. We push our jaw outward and we slice through the pair of drones with the side of the blades, their pieces falling to the ground. I glance over beside me to see the Yellow Lion fall to the ground with a loud, jarring noise now that the tractor beams aren't holding it up and when I look down I see Hunk's form race into the lion, over the com I hear him breathing heavily, "Thanks, Will!"

Now that the adrenaline has worn off a little, I find my breath coming in rugged gasps, so all I can manage is, "Dude, that took all of my  _ fucking energy. _ " 

Shiro calls over the com as the eyes of the Yellow Lion flicker to life, "Guys, did everyone make it to their lions in time?"

Hunk and I propel into the sky within our lions and immediately above us, racing by the cavern opening are the Black, Red, Blue, and Green Lions already in formation. Hunk and I fall in immediately as Lance's voice pops over the com, "Come on, Shiro, who do you think you're dealing with, a bunch of amateurs?" 

I maneuver the White Lion out of the way when we approach one of the broken Galra pillars of a mining facility sticking up in the sky, and even from a distance I hear the loud _  thunk _  as Lance and the Blue Lion run headlong into it. 

I can hear Shiro smirking over the com, "... Do you really want me to answer that?"

Lance mumbles under his breath with a dejected tone, "... No." 

I snicker, the tension relieving in my shoulders as I seem to finally be able to catch my breath.

_ Shiro's right. Together, I do feel like we're invincible. _

Up ahead, I see the fighters descending from the sulfuric clouds, and above them I can see flashing lights of blue and violet, like thousands of comets racing across the sky. 

"Let's go!" Shiro declares confidently, and we break ranks as the descending drones open fire. I press the controls forward, the White Lion purring in contentment as I slice through row upon row of drone with the blades on her pole-arm, causing them to explode and their parts to float down to the Balmera's surface. I dodge fire when I can, but a few manage to a shot or two into the side of my lion which I feel like hot pokers stabbing my ribs, but with the sheer number of drones it's unavoidable. Fortunately they don’t hurt  _ too  _ badly, they’re kind of like really aggressive wasp stings. Shiro has his jaw blade summoned, slicing up his fair share of drones while Lance and Keith shoot their lava and ice beams through their unfortunate victims. Hunk and the Yellow Lion are having a lovely time, butting its dense skull against drones and sending them flying into each other. All in all, mass havoc and destruction ensues.

"Hunk, watch out!" Pidge cries, and I risk a glance over to the Green Lion as it dashes to hover protectively over Hunk with the Green Lion's shielded back as drones above him fire, ricocheting off the black and gold shield and flying awry through the ashy sky.

"Got you covered!" Keith rumbles confidently, the Red Lion swooping in with a single-bladed jaw blade and slicing them in half. 

Hunk lets out a sigh of relief, "Thanks guys!" 

The number of drones dwindle as I feel another hot poke in my side, and I whirl my lion around and race through the air towards the cluster of offending drones. With a flick of my wrist the White Lion rips her blade through them like they're made of butter, their pieces fly through the air in all different directions as I take a moment to catch my breath. For the moment, it looks like we’ve gotten all the drones, at least the ones down here.

Allura's voice comes desperately over the com, "Paladins, I need you immediately! Five more ticks and we're finished!" 

Shiro nods and announces over the com, "Okay team, form Voltron!"

I turn and follow the others as they ascend into the yellowed sky, lining up in formation when I feel the synergetic pull between us and our lions as we click into place. I close my eyes, reveling in this feeling of closeness with the others, a shared pulse through my entire being that transcends anything else I'd ever experienced, and as I open my eyes, Voltron breaks the cloud-line and into space beyond. Thousands of drones surrounding a huge Galra battlecruiser are firing on the Castle, its massive ion cannon is blasting against the Castle's particle barrier like a waterfall crashing on a rock. 

_ Time to ruin some Galras' day. _

We rise underneath the cruiser as Pidge and Keith press Voltron's arms into its underside, and with a propelling thrust from all of our thrusters we force the cruiser to tilt, the cannon firing off target and into the emptiness of space for a few seconds before the blast ends. I spot the particle barrier vanish from the Castle, and I call into the com as the hair on the back of my neck rises in warning, "Move!"

The others seem to feel the same thing, and immediately we roll to the side with joint thrusters as the Castle opens fire onto the cruiser at its new, awkward angle. It blasts straight through its center with a burning brand of blue, and the following explosion that rips through the cruiser causes the surrounding drones to be caught in the fire, several mini explosions surrounding the main ship as it falls to burning pieces. We narrowly escape in time, and we hover just beside the Castle as we let out a collective cheer of victory as the surviving drones go offline and float listlessly through space.

"Nice one, Princess!" Pidge cries over the com with an enthusiastic grin that I can feel through the com.

"Yeah, the parade's back on!" Lance cries enthusiastically. I let out a sigh of relief and lean against the controls, smiling a little but as I close my eyes I don't feel like it's over. I feel the White Lion's heart within me tremble, and I furrow my eyebrows as I examine the Galra debris now floating through space. That’s when the feeling comes, sickening and wrong, like a hand just shoved its way in my stomach and is worming around where it shouldn’t be. "Wait... something's wrong. Something's coming."

"What? What's coming?" Shiro asks, but as the seconds tick by, nothing happens… but the apprehension is only growing. I shudder as a full body shiver rocks through me, the feeling of wrongness and impending doom like when you see the rise of a tsunami wave and know that you can’t escape its crash. 

"I don't know, I... there's just... something. Like this is the calm before the storm."

"Well, the calm came just in the tick of time." Allura exclaims in relief. The Castle begins to descend towards the surface of the Balmera, and Voltron lowers itself back down to follow after her, dropping through the cloud line at a slow pace as Allura continues, "The Castle's defenses are battered, and will need to fully recharge."

I keep my gaze firmly on the sky, the worrying within me and my lion unending, only seeming to get stronger as we finally land on the Balmera's surface. I can't explain it, I don't know why, but I definitely have that  _ ants crawling up my spine, hair on the back of my neck rising because of the ghost watching me getting water at 2am _  feeling persisting with every passing moment.

Suddenly, with a bright red flare, something descends into the Balmera's atmosphere. It looks like a meteor at first, or some debris from the Galra cruiser, but no; it's boxier, like a coffin. As it falls, I see the purple Galra power stripes along its side, and I feel a memory click in my mind at how familiar that box looks.

_ Oh no. _

We watch as the object crashed into the Balmera's surface, with a burst of air and a soft moaning cry from the Balmera that I can feel even from within Voltron. I feel in my heart like a timer's going off as Lance mumbles, "What the heck is that?"

I bite my lip, letting out a breath, "The something that I was telling you about."

Shiro nods, speaking in a deep voice over the com, "Trouble."

Hunk groans in an exhausted tone, "Please tell me there's not a giant monster in there! Please tell me it's empty! Or full of space candy? One of those two, either one is fine!"

Lance murmurs with a deep frown over the com, "I don't think it's a pinata, Hunk."

"If it's the same kind of monster that attacked us on Arus, we already know how to beat it." Keith answers, cool, calm and collected, and I feel power course into the Red Lion as Keith engages Voltron's sword. Pidge responds by engaging the shield, the red mechanical back of Voltron flying around and slamming in front of us with a clang as it activates. Voltron is now ready for whatever lay within the Galra box of fun, with our sword poised and hidden safely behind the shield.

"Hold your ground!" Shiro cries as the box begins to shake, the sides falling open just like it did back on Arus, and reveals, unfortunately, neither nothing nor space candy.

This monster is entirely different from the one on Arus. This one is lanky, with long arms and what looks like suckers on the undersides, like an octopus' leg, with three fingers on each hand. Its head looked like a chameleon with sharp teeth, and a visor that reminded me of Cyclops' from X-Men 22. Its two eyes rotate around the visor's metal form that encompasses its head, and I can feel it fixate us with two, glowing, yet lopsided, green eyes. I can't tell whether this thing is biological or mechanical by looking at it, as its head appears to be flesh at its base, but its body has more metal, yet the metal seems to bore  _ into  _ the flesh. In the center of its chest is a green circle, that reminded me of Iron Man's chest-plate, with a faint, malevolent, green glow within.

Suddenly, the middle of the monster's chest, that green circle, begins to glow brightly with power, and I carefully position Voltron behind Pidge's shield just as massive green bolt launches at us, searing across the desert and collides head on into the shield. Lance and Hunk compensate, taking a step back as the blast nearly causes us to topple, and I hear Hunk cry into the com with deep despair, "It's not candy!"

Lance's voice rises with anxiety, "And it's not the same monster!"

I roll Voltron out of the beam to escape its pin on us, whirling around and racing forward with wide steps as Shiro calls over the com, "We need to draw its fire away from the Balmera's surface!"

We race forward in an attempt to flank the creature, but it seems to anticipate our movement as the powerful laser in its chest dies out. It flies up into the air with a great leap, its chest beam activating again and firing directly onto us from above. I brace us behind the shield as we take the hit, so the Balmera doesn't have to, and its fire ceases only briefly as it lands back down on Earth. I engage Voltron's thrusters in junction with Lance and Hunk to dodge the beast's blasts, rotating side to side as the blasts from within its chest come like rapid fire from a machine gun. We close in on the monster, and I position Voltron with Shiro’s help to allow Keith to slice forward with his sword. The beast dodges to the side with ease and I auddenly feel a sharp, burning pain in my side. I wince, touching my side briefly as I grit my teeth,and as we whirl about to face the creature I see that its eyes also seem to have the fun laser ability as its chest.  _ Okay, that's not cool, it literally shot at us with our back turned.  _ After the battering those drones gave me with their annoying shots, like I was getting poked with a curling iron, the laser shot the monster's eyes just gave Voltron's back is definitely not welcome, like literally getting sharply poked with a hot stick.

We bring Voltron around as the creature squares off against us, the light within its chest flaring up once more. I brace us behind the shield and we take the brunt of the oncoming blast, its power seems to rattle my cabin and I feel my lion growling in frustration within me.

Lance shout over the com, "We can't hold out!"

Pidge's voice echoes over the com, "My lion's weakening! If the shield sustains structural damage, we're done for!" 

Keith growls, "Pidge is right!"

Lance, ever the opportunist, huffs in response, "Oh,  _ Pidge is right _ , I'm the one that said we can't hold out!"

I feel our balance slowly begin to teeter back as Keith gasps, "Lance, watch your footing!"

Suddenly, the Blue Lion slips, and as we fall back our shield blows out of our hands into two separate pieces to the side, crashing into the ground as the pulsing green light dies out.

Shiro lets out a short breath, "Okay, Team Voltron, disband." Without question, I close my eyes and release my grip on the others and we split back into our individual lions. I open my eyes as Shiro barks, "Evasive maneuvers! It can't shoot us all at once!" 

I rise into the air high above with a burst of the White Lion's thrusters, and I watch as the monster's two eyes split, one following me, and the other following Pidge as it turns its body in our direction. It opens its throaty mouth, as if to scream, but no sound comes out, instead it stretches its arms out wide and each of the suckers in the undersides of its arms flare to life, just like its chest beam, and fire in every different direction. I roll the White Lion to the side, barely escaping a green beam from incinerating me. 

Shiro sighs, "Okay, never mind, it can."

I dodge as another beam comes my way, keeping an eye out over my shoulder, only able to focus on avoiding the rays at all costs.  _ What the fuck is happening, the hell kind of monster is this, how does it have so many laserbeams-  _ Suddenly, a blue beam fires from across the desert from where the Castle of Lions is hovering, stationed, by a mining shaft deep in the Balmera. The ro-beast staggers from the strike, the lasers in its arms stopping their firing as one of its eyes affixes on the Castle. Its eye shoots a hot, green bolt against the Castle's particle barrier and immediately I watch as it fizzles and gives out with a new, fiery sear along its side from the blast.

Allura lets out a gasping breath over the com, "Where does Zarkon get these beasts from? And how do they keep finding us?"

We don't have time to think as the creature turns towards the Castle, the light within its chest flaring up as it prepares for a full on assault. Shiro immediately shouts, "Keith, try to draw it's fire, I'm coming in from above!"

"Roger!" Keith answers. I see Shiro break from the sky line and nosedive down towards the beast as it prepares to fire on the Castle while Keith comes from the side, firing his magma laser against its chest. It seems to have no effect on the beast, the fire and molten lava rolling off its metal surface like the Red Lion merely spit on it.

The monter bares its teeth with a curled snarl as the eyes turn from the Castle and follow Keith, lasers shooting from its eyes and chasing after the Red Lion as the Black Lion soars downward from behind it with its jawblade ready. I watch as one of the beast's eyes suddenly rotate, looking back at the Black Lion as it descends and firing on Shiro before he can get close. He growls in frustration as Lance pipes up hopefully, "We just need to find its blind spot!" The Blue Lion races from the side, parallel with Keith’s receding form; I see the opportunity and match him from the other side of the ro-beast, but its gaze splits from side to side, each eye shooting at Lance and I respectively and I have to quickly dodge to the side with a horrible barrel roll that sends me nearly crashing into the ground again before I barely am able to right myself.  _ Fuck, I need to practice those so I don’t run into things. _

Pidge's voice is desperate,  "I don't think this thing has a blind spot, it has a thousand eyes!"

Hunk cries out in fear as he dodges the incoming beams as the monster’s suckers begin to fire off once again, I press the White Lion into evasive action, panting from looking over my shoulder so much. 

_ "Laser eyes!  _ **_Laser eyes!_ ** _ " _  Hunk shrieks.

"What do we do? Fighting this thing is like fighting an entire fleet at once!" Pidge asks in a desperate tone as I rise into the sky, using the distance between me and the ro-beast to better dodge the blasts, as it once again opens its arms and fires a hundred lasers into the sky at once. 

"I think we've gotta aim for those laser eyes and take them out." Keith states with determination.

Allura quickly responds, "We'll cover you from up here!"

The Castle fires several beams on the beast from over my lion's shoulder, but they don't seem to do much but anger it. Its arms close as it whirls on the Castle, and the beam in its chest blasting directly towards its receding form. I whirl the White Lion around, growling in frustration as I dive back downward to get in closer to the monster as Allura calling over the com, "Keep the beast off of us, we just got the particle barrier back online, it won’t hold it for more than a tick or two!"

I dash forward, coming at the monster from behind, but one of its eyes rotates and fires on me before I can get close. I dodge, dropping down just below the blast with a weakened burst of thrusters while I smash the lance-blade button. White metal clashes into place in between my lion's jaws and I attempt to attack the monster with a bladed end but it merely rolls to the side with surprising grace, considering that it's about as big as Voltron. It turns its second laser eye onto me and strikes the White Lion and I square in the back as we withdraw, and I gasp as I feel the brand burn into my back, into my skin and bone.  _ Ow. That’s what I call a fiery prick. _

Shiro growls, and I can faintly hear the sound of his lion engaging its own lasers in the background, "Princess, pull back! Get out of its range, now!"

Allura hisses back with a determined fire, "We will not abandon you!"

Shiro verbally shakes his head as I turn back around with my lion's lance ready, the ro-beast is firing its eye beams at the Blue and Green Lions as they attempt to do a fly by, "You're not abandoning us, we're about to pull back anyway."

Hunk gasps in surprise, "We are?"

"We can't hold out, we have to." Shiro snaps back quickly. I swiftly flip back to Shiro's position, as do the others as Shiro barks commands, "Lions, to the mine shafts! It's the only place where the monster can't get us!"

"Roger that!" Pidge cries, and we break formation to drop down into tunnels. 

"Heading into orbit!" Allura cries. 

Pidge drops down into the nearest tunnel, and I immediately follow suit with the Blue Lion at my back. I look up before I drop down to see Hunk, Keith, and Shiro take refuge in a tunnel just up the way. I sit my lion down at the bottom of the shaft, gasping for air as I lean forward to feel my back where the beast's laser got me. Er-... the White Lion, who in turn reflected it on me. I wince when I feel the raised skin, knowing that it's probably burned, so I quickly shift so that I don't lean on that part of my back while in the seat as I listen to the others talk over the communicators.

"There's a monster up there that Zarkon sent to destroy us." Keith voice comes over the com, sounding as if he's talking to someone else. I vaguely hear another voice just beyond, it sounds like Shay, but I can't make out her words.

"Shay, don't give up!" Hunk murmurs gently, "Zarkon's power grows with every planet he conquers, but weakens with every being that fights back!"  _ So it is Shay. _ "I don't know," Hunk answers an indistinct question that I can't hear, "But we can beat it! Tell her, Keith."

Keith hesitates, "Can we?"

Shiro's voice resonates, confidently as always, "Yes we can! This is our first mission, and we are not going to fail! We can beat it, we just need some time to come up with a plan."

"See? Told you we can." Hunk's grin is tangible over the com, and I feel a smile pull at my lips as he murmurs, "Thanks, Shiro."

Suddenly, the ground begins to shake, and a wounded cry comes from deep down, the strangled scream of the Balmera. I look at the other lions where Pidge and Lance sit and see that their lions are bracing as well.

"Do you guys feel that over there?" Hunk calls, and Lance responds with an anxious pitch, "Yeah, we feel it!"

"There's that sound again, what is that?" Pidge cries over the com.

After a few moments, Shiro comes over the com, "Coran, Allura, are you there?"

"Shiro, we're here!" Allura responds immediately.

"The Balmera-" Shiro begins, but Coran quickly cuts him off, "We already know! Our scanners are showing the life energy draining from the Balmera."

I feel my eyes widen as I ask in a small voice, “Is… Is it dying?”

The silence that greets me answers my question. 

I grip my controls to shoulder the stone that rests over my heart as Pidge asks, "How did that happen so fast?"

Coran answers in a saddened tone, "Removing the crystals from a Balmera is like taking a vital part of this mighty beast! The Balmera needs time to regenerate itself to stay healthy, but the Galra's greed may have cost this noble Balmera its life."

"So, what's gonna happen?" Hunk asks with a quiet, dejected tone.

Coran replies with a deeply heart-wrenching voice, "Its core will collapse, destabilizing its entire skeletal structure. Anything, or anyone remaining on the Balmera at that point... will be crushed into dust."

"No, there has be something we can do to heal it!" I cry, but I can hear Coran shaking his head, “It's in the final processes now.” He mutters, “It would take a miracle to bring it back from this stage.”

The coms are eerily quiet as the ground slowly ceases rumbling, but the  _ pain...  _ the permeating agony that pushes out from within the Balmera is so present that I can almost feel it myself.  _ The Balmerans… who knows how many there are. Just the sheer number of violet doors in those cells must be telling of the number of people here, the entire planet is  _ **_dying_ ** _. _

Finally, Shiro's voice cuts over the com with a muted tone, "... How long before its core collapses?" 

I press the button to allow the images of the others to come live on the hologram before me. I see that Shiro, Hunk, and Keith are gathered together, and Lance and Pidge are within their lions. Allura and Coran stand beside one another from within the bridge of the Castle, both appearing rather stressed, and worried. 

Coran is quiet, looking down at his hologram below the video feed, "Probably in a matter of hours." He sighs softly, deeply distressed, "The mighty organism willingly gives itself to all, but not all return its kindness."

We are silent for several long moments before Allura speaks up, determined and fiery, "Then our time is short. We'll evacuate the planet." She affixes us with a gaze so powerful I can feel it penetrating me through the hologram as she commands, "We need to get all of the Balmerans into the Castle of Lions before the planet implodes."

I grip my controls, internally wrestling with how helpless I feel as Hunk responds, "Okay, sounds like a good plan, but how on Earth do you plan on landing the Castle with that monster-thingy on the surface?"

Pidge answers with a tactical tone, "You'll need a distraction!"

Shiro's voice is confident and assured, "We'll engage the beast in our lions. With it distracted, Allura and Coran will land the Castle and load all of the Balmerans."

Lance suddenly pipes up, "Or, we can load the Balmerans a few at a time in our lions and shuttle them to the ship! You know, no engaging the ferocious, laser-eye guy. How long would that take?"

"Days?" Coran answers, a little less hopefully, "Weeks?"

Keith snaps at Lance with a frantic tone, "We only have hours!"

"Look, we don't need to beat this thing," Shiro speaks quickly, and I can hear his gears working in his mind, "We just need to bait it away from the ship! Provoke, and evade."

"Okay, here's the thing," Hunk answers with an edge of worry, turning to look over at Shiro instead of at the holographic camera, “I'm worried that we'll be really really good at the provoking part, and then really bad at the evading part.” He frowns and glances over away from the video, at something just beyond my line of sight as he murmurs, "But if this is what it takes to save Shay and everyone on the planet... I'm in."

"But what about after? We have to figure out some way to defeat it, otherwise it'll chase us and the Castle and the Balmerans!" I frown, but Shiro dismisses me over the com, "One problem at a time, Will."

I hear Keith addressing Shay away from the com, "Can you contact the other Balmerans?"

"I'm coming down." Allura declares, and I fasten my hands the White Lion's controls tightly as I see the Blue and Green Lions readying themselves, their gazes locked up at the sky as the ground shudders beneath our feet. My heart wrenches at the guttural cry of the Balmera as it fades in the air like a ghostly howl, I try to grit my teeth and drown it out. _  There's nothing you can do, there's nothing you can do- _

"Wait a minute, Princess,  _ you're _ coming down?" Pidge suddenly pipes over the com with a tense tone, "That thing will spot your pod and blow it to pieces!"

"Let me worry about that!" Allura replies offhandedly, "You just focus on keeping the creature distracted."

I engage the White Lion's thrusters, and we launch out of the shaft. 

We break into the sky and I spot the creature over by the other hole where the other three lions are. It looks at us with both eyes as we appear, and I watch as the Red, Yellow, and Black Lions take this opportunity to fire on the ro-beast from within the hole while it's distracted by us before they zoom between its legs and bolting the other direction as fast as possible. It roars in rage, whirling its body around and chasing after them, its scream tangibly grasping my spine and shaking my core. I press the White Lion forward in chase, and I see the creature beginning to fire its askew eyes on Hunk, Keith, and Shiro with almost no care for accuracy. 

"Okay, we've provoked, time to evade!" Hunk cries over the com with a fearfully stressed tone and I watch as the Yellow Lion dives to the side as the monster fires a beam at him. Hunk rolls behind a rocky piece of the Balmera, but the creature simply breaks clean through it with a mighty screech, the stones falling away with a cracking groan from the Balmera below.  _ Wow, we really pissed it off. _

"Princess, we've provoked the monster, it's time!" Shiro calls over the com, and I glance at the Castle of Lions as it descends into the atmosphere, several miles away and growing farther. I chase down the monster as it screams after Hunk.

"I'll contact you all when I'm on the ground!" Allura calls, and I refocus on the task at hand. While the Yellow Lion holds the creature's attention, I fire the White Lion's mouth canon at its back. It screeches in rage and one eye whirls around to the back of its head and fires on me, and I quickly guide the White Lion into a barrel roll to avoid it as we hurtle across the Balmera's surface, further and further from the Castle. For once, I'm not left nearly crashing to the ground from the move. _ I think I might just be getting better at this whole flying thing. Knock on head. _

"Okay, maybe evading isn’t so bad, maybe I’ll…?!" Hunk lets out a stressed shriek and swoops in onto the monster while its attention is diverted, but unfortunately it's ready for him. It whirls both of its eyes to him within the second and blasts him with both lasers in its eyes, point blank and without mercy.

Hunk lets out a pained noise and the Yellow Lion flies out of sight as the Black Lion pounces on the monster's back to divert its attention away from Hunk, digging his claws into its back. But before the monster turns its gaze to shoot him he leaps off of its back with a purposeful push, intentionally pissing it off as it merely stumbles in the air and whirls towards him. Lance swoops by, firing its glacial beam at its eyes and completely envelopes its head with ice. It whirls around, disoriented for only a second before its arm lashes up and it smacks itself in the face, breaking the ice and sending the shards flying in all different directions as it whirls towards the retreating form of the Blue Lion.

I fire the White Lion's mouth laser at the side of its head, distracting it effectively as its attention moves from person to person with each consecutive attack. We may not be doing a lot of, if any, damage, but at least we're distracting it effectively, while also pissing it off more and more.  _ We just gotta keep this rotation going. _

"I'm on the ground!" Allura calls, and Shiro immediately answers as he dodges a blast, "Hurry, I don't know how long we can hold this thing off!"

I fire the White Lion's tail laser as I race out of range of the monster to avoid another blast just as Pidge run up behind it and bites into its leg with the Green Lion's jaws. It surprises the monster, and just as it reverts its gaze to fire on her she dodges out of the way and soars into the sky evasively. Hunk comes from the other side, head-butting the creature in the Yellow Lion with a mighty yell which sends it tumbling, but only for a moment as it quickly rolled onto its side and fires its chest laser onto him within a second.

I launch forward from behind it as it rises unsteadily to its feet, but just before I open my lion's jaws to shoot it its eyes whirl around to face me and abruptly fire. I leap into the sky to dodge, but I was almost too slow, as I can feel the edge of the blast had scraped the underbelly of my lion, feels like the hot breath of an oven along my stomach. Keith swoops in then and fires his magma beam onto its left side, catching its attention despite not being able to damage it as he soars into the sky. The creature opens its arms and projected all of its arm beams at Keith, but he dodges them easily, rolling from side to side and looping around them like it's a game of tag.  _ He really seems like he's born to fly. _

"Castle of Lions, coming in! Paladins, how are you holding up?" Coran calls over the com, and I can hear Keith smirking wryly as he answers in a husky tone, "I say we've got him pretty distracted. Are the Balmerans into position?"

Allura calls over the com, "They're making their way to the surface now!"

I let out a breath as I strain against the controls. There’s a mining shaft just to the left, and as the monster advances on Keith it’s getting closer and closer to it by the second.  _ Idea.  _ "I'm gonna try something. Keith, keep it faced that way!"

"It doesn't have a blind spot, Will!" 

I dive the White Lion into the shaft, dodging an oncoming beam from its wild arms as it comes my way, “I know, but if you keep it looking at you it won’t be looking around for me!” I hover just at the top of the mining shaft, just under the lip of the break in the earth. I watch just over the rim as Keith fires on the beast to keep its attention. Just a little closer...

It takes a step backwards, closer to my position and roaring as it chases after the Red Lion. I pounce with my Lion's pole-arm at the ready, lashing out at its sides and slicing into its arm. It barely dodges in time but I see that I was able to damage one of its eyes on its arm with the pointed end, the green light flickers, sparks, and then dies. I let out a victorious cheer as I double back to escape, but distracted by my victory, I'm a second too late. I feel a loud scream of metal as the creature snatches my lion's tail, and I hear the metal creaking as its other hand wraps around the middle of my lion. "Oh, fuck! Guys, a little help!" I call, desperately jabbing the controls and engaging the thrusters to try and get the White Lion to squirm out of its grasp. She whines within me in worry as its chest beam flares, ready to fire, a brilliant flash of green.

I feel a pulse of pain in the base of my neck, and when I open my eyes I'm in the dark room, back at the Castle? It looks like it's the Castle, but it's red instead of blue, the symbol of the Galra empire flickers on the window. I feel my lungs seize as I feel a cold, metallic hand holding me aloft like a doll, Sendak's dark laughter as an electrical charge courses through my body,  _ laughing, gold and red eyes. Little lion, you have spirit- _

"Will! Get up!"

I shake my head as I slowly open my eyes. I peer out of the White Lion’s eyes and see that we are on our side, laying on a crested hill of the Balmera. My head  _ hurts _ , and I feel a little nauseous as I slowly reach out and grasp the controls, straining as I force us upright. My entire body groans in complaint, but I press past the pain as I recall why I'm here, what's happening.  _ The Balmera, the crazy lizard beast… I need to get back out there to help keep it distracted! _  I spot the lions ahead, flying in formation away from me as the beast follows, its laser firing after them with bursts of violent energy.

"Every hit weakens the Balmera!" Hunk cries with an anxious voice, "Have you evacuated yet? What's happening?"

"The Balmerans are trapped! Just keep distracting that beast!" Coran yells back over the com, crackling from interference and anxiety.

Hunk huffs tiredly, "Uh, do you want us to distract it by dying? Because that's what going to happen!"

"Guys," Shiro suddenly calls over the com, "Remember when I said that we didn't have to beat it?"

I sigh, my voice croaking as I realize that I must have screamed rather loudly when I got hit, "Let me guess... we gotta beat it."

Lance voice is tinged in worry, "You sound like quiznak, dude, you good?"

I clear my throat a few times, trying to smooth out the roughness in my voice, "I'm fine." I rasp in response, clearing my throat again in an attempt to fix myself, "Come on, back to what we were doing, guerrilla tactics." I press the White Lion forward after the robot beast, its attention purely diverted on the five lions ahead of it. I open the jaws of the White Lion and fire on its back before pouncing on the bend in its knee and push off to the side and towards the others, only glancing back over my lion's shoulder to ensure I don't get shot on my retreat. It seems surprised, probably because it thought it had defeated me, and it screeches angrily as it whirls to follow after me. I quickly dodge the oncoming beams it fires, diving to the ground and then spiraling back up into the air to keep its beams away from the ground.  _ Dodging when I can’t see the beams is fucking hard. _

The others double back towards me and start firing on the creature as well, but the attacks continue to glance off of its armor, even after so many shots it seems to do nothing. Fed up it holds out its arms wide and twirls in circles, green beams firing in every direction from the eyes on its arms. I barely escape getting incinerated by one, two, three, beams, wincing as I can almost feel its heat, I roll to the side. The action causes my head to spin and nausea spikes in my throat, and I have to fight back the stars in my eyes as I dodge another beam.  _ Fuck, let's not do that again. Fuck, my head, ow, ow- _

Keith growls in frustration over the com, "Guys, this isn't working, we'll never take down this beast in our lions!"

"Well, forming Voltron didn't work either!" Pidge points out, and I quickly weave through the sky in an attempt to escape the oncoming beams.

"Not without some way to shoot all those laser eyes at once!" Lance huffs in response. I see the Blue Lion fire another glacial blast at the beast's face, which it quickly destroys with a smack against its own head. _  This thing is fucking invincible, we’re so fucked- _

"Guys! Guys, something's happening here!" Hunk cries. I look over at the Yellow Lion as a massive flash of gold illuminates its back before it abruptly dies, "I think there is a way to take down all of those laser eye thingies at once!"  _ Did I imagine that? Oh, ow, my head… I’m probably really concussed. _

"Well, what is it?" Pidge asks with a sudden rise in her tone as she nearly gets shot.

Hunk sounds very perplexed, "Do you remember how Voltron formed that sword, with Keith's bayard? I think my lion's telling me I can do the same with my bayard!"

"Are you sure?" Keith raises an eyebrow and I growl impatiently in response, "Jesus Christ, just  _ do it _ , Hunk!" I barely dodge another oncoming beam, rolling to the side as my arms begin to shake from the strain.  _ I can't hold out much longer. God, my head…  _

"Let's find out. Form thingy!" Hunk cries, and I dive towards the ground as silence is met on the com. I plant my lion's feet in the ground for extra leverage to fly back into the air as Hunk calls in dismay, "It didn't work!"

Shiro answers with a tired voice, "Probably because we didn't form Voltron yet."

"Oh! Right! Yeah, I know!" Hunk answers with a soft huff. 

Pidge yelps, "Guys, whatever we're planning, let's just hurry up and do it!" I rise in the air, rolling to the side to dodge another blast at the last second as I practically shriek, "Seconded!"

I let out a breath as the creature's lasers in its arms die out, and it turns away from me, but immediately after I feel my heart jump in terror as I realize it's not because someone distracted it; it's because it's turning its gaze to the Castle a few miles away.

"Guys, we gotta protect the Castle!" Shiro calls, "Everyone follow me! Form Voltron!" I look up and spot Shiro darting into the sky, so I press the White Lion to close ranks on Shiro with the others just behind me. I relax as their energies intertwine with mine; I feel momentary sparks of pain coming from the Yellow Lion, and I frown as I feel it intermingle with anxiety and worry.  _ Does Hunk has a similar connection with the Yellow Lion as I do with mine, with it being able to pass on damage it sustains to him?  _ The feeling soon passes, and I open my eyes and stare down at the creature as it approaches the Castle through Voltron's eyes. 

"Dude, Will, you took a serious hit, I feel it from here… how is your lion not damaged?" Lance's voices rises over the com in that dramatic manner it usually does.

I shush him impatiently, "Not the time, we got a monster to kill!"

"Okay, trying again!" Hunk cuts in with an anxious twinge in his voice, "Form Thingy, part two!" I feel the Yellow Lion below me let out a deep bellied purr and with a thud and a series of thumping clicks I feel a massive weight settle on Voltron's shoulders followed by a flash of golden light. I glance down at my holographic panel to my left at the general outlay of Voltron and see that it's massive cannon, like a rocket launcher, now resting on Voltron's shoulder. 

_ Well, that’s kind of useful. _

The beast turns and faces us as if it senses our impending attack but it pauses, baring its jagged teeth as it holds its arms wide in preparation to fire. But, instead of several beams firing on us at once like I expected, all of its laser eyes combine together, forming into one large green ball of energy just in front of its chest. I tense as I feel its power from here.

Hunk makes a noise of anxiety, "Oh no! Shooting the thingy!" Lance and Hunk press into the ground beneath us to compensate as Hunk fires the shoulder cannon with enough force that, if Lance and Hunk hadn't accommodated, the kickback would've sent us flying. The creature releases its power at the same time, and their energies meet in the space between with a tremendous crash. 

It strain to keep Voltron upright, gritting my teeth as Shiro gasps, "It's not enough!"

"Well, we'll have to try something else!" Hunk cries. I feel him shift, so I twist and match his movement, instead of blocking the monster's beam we reflect it at an angle, away from the Castle of Lions from where we stand between it and the monster. After several tense moments, both of our blasts die out and lose their power. I tap the panel to my right to see that the cannon takes a few to recharge its energy before it can fire again, there’s a bar that’s already refilling. 

The ro-beast opens its arms wide as the lasers along its arms flare to life, and I engage Voltron's thrusters just in time to evade the creature's many beams. I feel some glance off of Voltron's armor, but they aren't anything serious as I bend Voltron away from the blasts, unlike how it felt when we were in our lions. These beams are glancing, and I can barely feel their heat when the damage get transferred. Maybe Voltron is better armored than our lions?

I look to the side as a new screen popped up beside me, a weapons-lock on each of the monster's laser eyes. I raise an eyebrow and tap the screen to examine it closer as Hunk gasps, "Whoa, are you guys seeing this?"

"Roger that!" Keith answers, and Shiro lets out a relieved breath, "Alright, let's see what this thing can do. Engage!"

I feel the Yellow Lion purr happily as Hunk engages the cannon for a second time. The force of the shot sends Voltron backward, but I minimize it as best as I can by pushing on Voltron's back thrusters as several winding flares of yellow blast out from the cannon, zeroing in on the beast and delivering a series of popping blows directly into its laser eyes along its arms. It falls back with a rending screech, trembling as green electricity sparks around it like a telephone pole fallen into a puddle as it teeters to one knee.  _ Thank fuck that did something. _

I let out a breath as the monster falls, when I suddenly feel... warmth. A good kind of warmth, like sitting in front of a fire with a hot cup of tea, emanating from behind me. I turn Voltron a bit so that I can find the source, and that's when I notice the strange happenings at the base of the Castle. 

There's a glowing blue circle is at its base, and as soon as I lock eyes on it, I become very keenly aware of the healing energies coming from it, but like nothing I'd ever seen nor experienced. It's almost like you can tell when water is cold just by feeling the spray. As suddenly as I notice it, the light explodes out, enveloping the very land we tread. I hear the others shocked responses over the com just as Shiro gasps, "Guys, look!"

The blue showers out in a wave, and I see that wherever it spreads to, it completely evaporates the Galra mining facilities and heals the very land, stitching open wounds shut and smoothing the Balmera's surface. I peer back at the Castle, at the blue circle from where this emanates, and even from this distance I can easily spot a small, white-haired figure on her knees at the center of the pulse: Allura is healing the entire planet through the Castle of Lions.  _ How the fuck…?  _

_ Why didn’t she do this sooner?! _

“I think the Balmera’s gonna be okay!” Hunk cries with enthusiasm as the healing wave passes, causing us to re return our gaze back and examine the monster. Its arms smoke and crackle, and it doesn't move for so long that I wonder if it's defeated, but after a moment it lifts its head at us and snarls with a fishy curl in its face.  _ Too much to hope for, apparently. _

It straightens its back and the middle laser in its chest opens fire on us. Quickly, I help with the thrusters in Voltron's back to dodge the blast and weave us closer to deliver a final blow. _  Guess it's too much to hope that Hunk's shot destroyed that beam, too. _

We dodge to the side as the laser blasts through the air, and as we draw in close I twist Voltron to bring back the Red Lion and deliver a devastating punch.

The Red Lion, curled into a fist, connects to the monster's face and sends it flying over the shaft next to the Castle, and several lengths beyond that. It hits the ground and bounces like a basketball before it lies still, the flickering green light within its chest dies. 

I release the tension in my shoulders, leaning heavily on the controls as I allow myself to breathe freely.  _ Good fucking riddance. It’s definitely done now. _

"Guys, Allura!" Pidge's voice cuts over the com and I look over to the base of the Castle to see that the blue circle is receding. Voltron immediately breaks apart into our lions, and I follow the others as we descend to the surface. I rise from my seat as fast as I can once I land, nearly tumbling down the stairs from the shakiness in my legs but I still have plenty of adrenaline to spare, and that is what sends me sprinting out of my lion and towards the crowd that has gathered underneath the Castle of Lions.

The blue circle is completely vanished now, and at the base of the Castle are mostly Balmerans, save for Coran who's staring at a crouched form at the center of the crowd. I slide to a halt when we arrive right as the Balmeran kneeling within the center turns to us. It's Shay, her drooping ears emphasized by the wide-eyed look she gives us. As she turns we see that she's cradling Allura in her arms, so small compared to her large form. We gather in close with worried expressions as Allura's eyes flicker open and lock onto us. She looked like she was sleeping, but now with her eyes open I see that she's just   _ incredibly  _ exhausted. 

She takes a shaky breath, murmuring a little deliriously, "... Did it work?"

"Yes! The Balmera is healed!" Rax, who stands just a few feet away, cries out with joy, and what looks like tears in his eyes. He regards Allura with such tenderness and affection I'm surprised this is the same Balmeran I saw that gave Hunk such a hard glare, "The Balmera thanks you."

I let out a shaky breath, resting both one hand on my waist and raising the other as if asking a teacher a question, “So, when were you gonna tell us that you could heal the Balmera? How did you even  _ do  _ that?”

Suddenly, the ground begins to shake but no noise accompanies it. I raise an eyebrow and turn to find the source, wondering if the Balmera is alright, and my jaw drops when I realize it's because of the massive beast. The monster is beginning to rise up, smoking and spitting electrical energy with a guttural, angry shriek, sending immediate spikes of primal terror up my spine. It locks its eyes on the Castle as it stumbles to its feet and now, from outside of my lion, I realize just how  _ terrifying _  this monster is up close, without protection. It's as large as the Empire State Building with teeth as large as cars, and its roar causes the very ground to tremble. With a deafening hum, its chest laser begins to glow in preparation to fire, and I know immediately that I'd be lucky to even get back to my lion in time before it strikes the Castle. We watch as the hum rips through the air, and I barely hear Allura cry out weakly, _ "No!" _

I watch, helpless, as it straightened its chest to destroy the Castle, when all of a sudden the Balmera beneath our feet roars, dim and far away, yet stronger than I've ever heard it. Crystals break through the surface and encase the monster's feet, rising up like the tide to envelop the creature in its totality. As the monster roars, struggling to break its hold, a crystal rips through its chest where its chest laser was once ready to fire, and it draws its last, horrible, ragged breath. A tall, grim, humanoid, crystalline shadow casts over us as we stand in silent awe of what we just witnessed, a grim crystal statue of the monster’s twisted mouth open in a screech. 

I hear Hunk murmur my exact thoughts from beside me, "No way.."

Coran blinks in shock, his tongue wagging as he stammers, "T-The Balmera just saved us!"

Allura's gaze travels from the monster to the ground beneath our feet, when all of a sudden she gasps, "Look at the crystals!"

I look down to follow her gaze and my breath hitches. Little crystals, big crystals, crystals of all sizes begin popping out of the ground, like daisies in snow, spreading outwards like a ripple effect until the once barren landscape is completely adorned and bedazzled with the blue, purple, and light green, glittering gems. 

_ Wow. _

"Oh, who's a good Balmera? You are! Who ate the big monster? You did! Yes you did, yes you did!" I blink and glance over at Hunk, who has sunk to his knees and is petting the ground like the Balmera is a puppy, and cooing just like it, too. I can't help but laugh, rather hard in fact but it’s not just because Hunk is absolutely a genuine joy, but simply in relief to be alive and that we actually succeeded in doing what we set out to do.

_ We liberated the Balmerans and saved the Balmera, while also dealing with Rolo and Nyma and defeating that huge monster, all in one day.  _

_ God, my head hurts. I could really use a nap. _

"Dude, what are you doing?" Keith asks with a raised eyebrow, watching Hunk petting the planet. 

Hunk looks up at him innocently, "What? It's alive! And it  _ wuvs _  my  _ scwatches! _ "

I feel my eyes growing heavy now that the adrenaline is wearing off, and although I want to laugh at Hunk I suddenly can barely find the energy to stand, "Did we win? I think we won." I murmur sleepily, rubbing my eyes, "I'm ready to sleep for about, two years. Maybe three." I joke, letting out a soft breath.

"Yeah, you do that, you look terrible." Pidge replies with an impish grin. 

I have enough energy to give her an unamused expression, "Gee, thanks." I murmur. The others slowly follow suit towards their own lions to return to the Castle, save for Hunk. He seems content to stay with Shay and her family. I turn to Coran as he helps Allura up, guiding her towards the surface projector lying behind them. I stumble forward, looping an arm under Allura’s to help support her at Coran’s side and guide her into Castle. 

“Thank you.” Allura breaths a bit shakily, and despite my exhaustion I turn to look over at her in worry. She’s rather pale and shaky, her eyes are listless and I can feel her arms are limp despite the fact that she’s able to walk with Coran and I’s help. 

“I can get her to her room,” Coran says with a grateful yet also gentle tone, turning her as we enter the surface projector, “You ought to go tend to your lion.” 

I furrow my eyebrows as I examine Allura’s expression, “Are you sure?” 

Allura nods swiftly, straightening a little more as she gives me a momenarily commanding look, “Yes, don’t worry on my account. I’ll be alright… My quintessence is just spent.” 

I blink stupidly but am unable to continue as the doors to the surface projector close and rise up into the Castle, leaving me alone on the Balmera’s surface… except for Hunk and Shay. I turn around as Shay opens her arms to Hunk as he approaches and he gives her a warm, tender hug, that would’ve been adorable had I not been so desperate to  _ lie down. _

I give them a half hearted wave that I don’t think they even see as I turn back towards my lion.

I collapse into the seat of the White Lion once she allows me up, pressing on the controls and guiding her slowly into her hanger. It's a bit of a daze, I'm only able to focus long enough to hit the  _ open hanger, glide in, sit, close hanger.  _

Once she settles, I move to stand but it... it's too much for me, all of a sudden. My limbs are just so...  _ heavy. _

Before I can talk myself out of it, I collapse back into the seat and immediately my eyes fall shut. I slip into a deep sleep.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Sorry, this was a bit of a longer chapter because, you know, two for the price of one, but I hope you enjoyed it! Next is the Serious Angst with Season 1 Episode 9, you know the one...  
> Sorry I kind of skimped on describing Hunk's experience on the Balmera, but I don't know about y'all, but I tend to space out a LOT in conversations, so I feel like it's in character...  
> Also, I'm lazy. Sue me.
> 
> -tense edited as of 10/23/18-
> 
> Finished 10/16/18**


	13. The Haunted Castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After liberating the Balmera and the other Balmerans, the Castle of Lions returns to space in order to plan Team Voltron's next move, but the past will not stay idle. New challenges arise from within in ways that no one expects, and the very walls may tear apart the team before they're able to truly challenge Zarkon's reign.  
> \---  
> **CONTENT WARNING: mentions of sexual assault and past emotional trauma/sexual assault are mentioned in this chapter; near death experiences and panic attacks**  
> Art on https://thewhitepaladin.tumblr.com/ tagged #chapter 13

_ The sun warms my skin as I dig my fingers into the sand, closing my eyes and enjoying the crashing waves that lap at my ankles as it breaks. No one is on the beach today, I think because it's December and no one goes to the beach in December… except for me. I get the closest thing to internal peace here. My dreams aren't as bad when I'm asleep by the ocean, they're clearer, and I feel like I have more control in them than I usually do. It's always a solace for me to be by the water, a small semblance of tranquility that I don't quite get anywhere else. _

_ “Hey kiddo.” I look up and see Dad approaching. He's in board shorts and a white t-shirt that says 'Salty' on the front, one that I got him for his birthday last year. He hates the beach, he prefers the mountains, the cold air and the clarity that the pines provide, and I can't say that I don't feel the same way. I love the mountains, especially when I'm at camp over the summer. Mom loves them even more than the both of us both together because she grew up in the flat lands of Georgia and loves the novelty. But, when I was a kid, my dreams progressively got worse and worse, so my family took a vacation here to see if I needed a change of environment. We went to the mountains in a cabin first, but my dreams got even worse, to the point that no one could sleep peacefully in the house because I'd wake up sobbing or screaming. My mom got a business deal on a house here for her job as a professor at the time, so we came here. My dreams weren't as bad, I had more control. In the mountains, it felt like I was completely helpless in my dreams, only able to watch or moving through molasses to stop a shadow from ripping out Mom's throat, or collapse over a bomb before it explodes in a crowd of people who don't seem to care to move. At camp it’s different because the sound of others sleeping and the din of wildlife somehow… relax me. But here, by the waters… something about the constant din of the crashing waves that calms me, makes me feel like I’m more in control. Ever since, we'd come here at least once, if not twice a year so I can get that break. I'm reminded of this every time I see my dad in shorts, because he never wears them except on the beach. _

_ "I know you aren't as much of a fan of the beach as I am," I mumble, facing the water as the deep, rumbling, sea-green waters froth, rushing to my bare feet buried in the sand, "I really appreciate that you and mom do this for me. I know I'm not easy to deal with... well... ever." I sigh, my shoulders sinking as Dad sits beside me. He rests a hand in between my shoulder blades, rubbing my skin in a soothing manner as he turns his sky blue eyes to the sea. Eyes I always wished I’d gotten in the genetic whirlpool. _

_ "That's just life, you know? Everybody has issues. I'm just trying to help with them, even if it’s just a little." He answers, moving to wrap his arms loosely around his knees as the cool wind pushes our backs, almost encouraging us to go into the water. I'm not in the mood today to go in, but I can never really stay away when I'm here. I'll always be out, in the water or on the sands just beside it regardless of the weather or the temperature. Safety and emotional comfort mean more to me than anything else, and Dad understands this. He always comes outside to spend time with me, even if we only joke or sit in silence or talk about our innermost thoughts. I always love that time we spend together. _

_ "I know, I know. I just... I wish sometimes I wasn't so _ **_much_ ** _ all the time, you know? _ " _  I murmur, feeling my gaze lower from the water's horizon to the sea foam that lines my ankles, "Like, you know, you and mom were amazing during my transition, with my dreams, even as they got worse, and... I just wish I could make things easier for y'all." _

_ Dad shakes his head, turning to look at me seriously, "It's my job as your dad to make sure that you get a better life than I did. All I want for you is to be happy, and I don't care about what I got to do to get it done." Dad answers softly as he stands up, his hairy toes covered in sand as he holds out a hand to help me up.  _

_ I take it, and he hauls me to my feet as I let out a breath of relief, "Thanks, Dad." _

_ "Of course. Love ya, kid." Dad ruffles my hair affectionately, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me back towards the beach house, "You wanna watch the rest of the Bureau? I'm on season 6 now, and I blame you for getting me addicted to it!" _

_ I laugh, turning to walk with him when all of a sudden I hear a shout from behind me, someone calling my name, it echoes just above the crash of the ocean waves. I blink and disengage from Dad's arms to turn in search for the voice but I don't see anyone up and down the beach, it's just us.  _

_ I hear it again,  _ **_"Will!"_ **

_ It sounds urgent, like someone needs help. _

_ "You coming?" Dad asks over my shoulder. I turn to look at him with a conflicted look. _

_ "I... don't think so. I think I have to go." I answer, furrowing my eyebrows. I'm not sure why, but I feel it, like I'm in line at the airport and it's my turn to board. I turn back towards the sea to follow the call of my name, but as I blink the ocean vanishes to pearly white floors, the sky to white walls and light blue power lines racing along the sides. _

_ I'm in the Castle. The halls are light with laughter, echoing down into the hall that I'm standing in. I follow the sound and open a door, and all of my friends are sitting at the large table, a wide variety of food goo of different colors in bowls all the way down. Lance and Keith are arguing, yet they are both smiling so brightly I couldn't even have guessed they were if I didn't hear Lance's derisive "Mullet!" Shiro is smiling, speaking animatedly with a man with deep tanned skin and square glasses, a man that I think I've seen before, he tickles some deep memory but I can't place his name. Allura sits in the middle of it all, smiling softly and laughing brightly to dodge as Keith slings food goo at Lance but misses and nearly hits her square on the nose. Pidge and Hunk are sitting in the chairs by the door I entered with their backs to me, and empty chair resting between them. Flanked on either side of Pidge are two people, who look remarkably like her save that they're both older. One looks like he's around Shiro's age, early to mid-twenties, and the other is at least as old as my dad, if not older, with gray hair and crinkling eyes, but all three have the same, round glasses, the same noses, the same smiles, the same hazel eyes. Pidge and Hunk grow silent when I enter, and turn towards me with confused looks before they break into grins to point to the empty seat between,"Will! Join us!" _

_ I try to step forward, but I can't. My feet are frozen in place. I open my mouth to speak, I can't find a voice to say anything. I just look at them with wide eyes, unable to move, unable to speak, and they slowly frown and turn away, dejected. ‘No, I want to eat with you, I just can't move! Please, don't turn away!’ I can’t speak. I close my eyes as tears of frustration well into them, constricting my throat.  _

_ “Hey, I don’t take it personal. That’s how it is out here. You gotta look out for your own.”  _

_ The air chills with a gust of wind, and I blink as the light around me darkens. I'm in the hallway outside of our rooms, but the lights are no longer on. It's dark and quiet with just the small strips of blue along the sides to provide any light, barely just enough that I can see the faintest outline of my hand. It’s kind of beautiful, ethereal in a way, like I’m walking in a hallway illuminated only by stars. I feel a pull in my gut, like I have somewhere I'm supposed to be, like I'm late for class. I turn, walking down the hallway with some purpose. Thank God, I can just walk again. I have somewhere to be. I don't know why, but I have to go somewhere, I have somewhere to be.  _

_ I turn the corner sharply, and immediately run smack into another body. _

_ "Oh, shit, sorry!" I laugh awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck as I take a step back in surprise. It's Keith, I can see the blue halo around his curled, black hair even in the darkness of the hallway. Keith's eyes looked distracted in the soft azure lights, yet they seem to focus when he meets my gaze, the deep black and blue of his eyes like ink that fell upon snow. He raises an eyebrow at me, "Where you off to in a hurry?" _

_ I blink, furrowing my eyebrows and tapping my lips with a finger, “Uh... you know what, I don't remember.” I tilt my head at him, “What about you?” _

_ Keith looks at me with a strange gaze, almost distracted as his eyes flicker across my features, "I was looking for something... but I think I found it." _

_ I raise an eyebrow, "What did you-" Before I can ask further Keith's hands move to my waist, I balk and immediately falter. He's getting closer, close, and I feel a lump form in my throat, I go into a gay panic as he moves closer, he’s really close. His dark blue-violet eyes glimmer as they flicker down, hesitating, dear God and all that is divine in this world, what is happening. The tip of his nose brushes mine, that's how close we are and I forget how to breathe, my hands finding themselves on his shoulders as his gaze meets mine.  _

_ "This is pretty gay." I murmur, unable to help myself. Keith smiles, chuckling under his breath.  _ **_Wow_ ** _ , he's so beautiful. _

_ "That's kind of the point." He replies, a slight dimple in his left cheek as he smiles so much wider than I've ever seen, how can he not smile more, his smile is the most pure and genuine and beautiful…  _

_ "Well, good, as long as we're on the same page." I joke under my breath, my hands sliding up to his cheek. God, he's so beautiful, but now that I can touch him, I can feel him, he feels.. so welcoming. Warm. I caress his jaw gently and his gaze flickers to mine, burning with a dark light that I somehow recognize, yet also entirely unfamiliar to see on Keith.  _

_ His voice is husky, his breath ghosting my skin as he whispers, "I dunno. Are we?" _

_ I kiss him. Tentatively at first, to give him time to escape but his response is immediate. He presses his body against mine, warm and gentle, and returns my kiss with such passion and enthusiasm that I'm a little caught off guard. I find my back pressed against the wall with his hands on either side of my head, and I find my hands moving to his chest. Oh, yeah, we are definitely on the same page. I move my lips against his gently as I nibble on his bottom lip to clarify my intentions, awarding me a soft, gasping groan.  _ **_Yes,_ ** _  I want more. I want to hear his voice. _

_ I dig my fingertips into his sides to pull him closer, and I feel him smirk against my lips as his body is pressed against mine, warm, inviting. His hands move to my arms, grasping them with gentle fingers and pinning them beside my head. His fingers intertwine with mine in such a gentle manner I melt against him, kissing him with renewed passion, his tongue teasing my teeth. He smells like wind rushing through a forest, clear and invigorating and his lips taste like green apples and mint, I'm rapidly losing breath at how amazing his touch feels, I didn’t realize how much I missed it. _

_ His lips break from mine and I feel his teeth graze my jawline, sucking on the skin as his hands travel to my waist, pulling me firmly against him. I run my hands into his hair with a soft gasp of appreciation... but his hair isn't long. It's short, rough, and course, barely long enough for me to run my fingers through. This pulls me out from my heady pleasure. This isn't what Keith's hair would feel like… _ **_this isn't Keith._ **

_ My heart stops at this realization and I shove him away as hard as I can manage, and Damien's icy blue eyes flicker to mine in confusion, and then something else, something far darker. I feel my heart race, choking on fear and immediately I turn to run, but he grabs me around my middle, pulling me back to him. I scream and kick but he forces me face first against the wall, his hand covering my mouth as I feel him press against my back, using his body to pin me against the surface. I fight to break free, even going so far as to try and bite him but I hear his voice in my mind, clear and cold and childishly condescending, "Don't make me do something I might regret, now." I close my eyes tightly, shaking my head desperately as I feel his hands slide along the edges of my body. My head is spinning at how fast things are moving, shaking me thoroughly as the darkness begins to swirl. _

_ "I almost hope that your Paladin friends come." I blink in surprise, and I realize I'm no longer in the hall. I'm in the command center, the lights no longer blue, but red. The symbol of the Galra empire flickers on the back wall, and Sendak's grip on me tightens as I struggle to breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe… where are my friends? Sendak chuckles as he hisses, "I'll rip them all to shreds, while you  _ **_watch_ ** _." _

\---

I bolt upright with a loud gasp, staggering to my feet. I rest my hands on the control panel, my eyes sealed shut as I struggle to take shaky, rasping breaths. On instinct with a practiced tremor, I immediately count out loud,  _ "One, two, three, four, five, I'm alive, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, breathe again." _

I let out a breath, the familiar chant my parents and therapist taught me to deal with my nightmares allowing the stress to slowly lift from my shoulders. I focus on my breathing, my eyes firmly closed as I breathe in and out, hyper-focusing on the sensation of my lungs filling and then expelling out of my mouth. I'm used to this, waking up scared... but it doesn't make it any less awful. 

This is the first time I've ever had a dream that wasn't related to or somehow a test, like the one the White Lion gave to me.  _ That's not cool, I thought I was done with that. Now I’m having… what, rewinds? Digging into my subconscious for things to fuck with me? Why am I having to use my post dream techniques when the dreams are supposed to be over- _

I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear a voice behind me, soft and concerned, "Will, are y-"

**"AH!"** I whirl around and clasp a hand over my chest. Shiro looks at me with wide eyes, holding up his hands as if in surrender as I slowly recover my wits, moving instead to run a hand through my hair, "Jesus Christ, Shiro, I didn't know you were… don't do that!"

"Sorry.” Shiro replies after a moment with a genuinely apologetic expression as I close my eyes, leaning against the control panel and gathering my wits. It looks like I'm in the pilot's chamber in the White Lion. I must've fallen asleep in the chair after… the fight with that Galra monster, on the Balmera.  _ How long was I asleep, if I had enough time to dream? _

"Are you alright?" Shiro asks softly, taking a step towards me and peering at me with a worried, stormy-eyed gaze. He's no longer in his Voltron suit, he's wearing a long sleeved black shirt with the right sleeve ripped off, revealing the black and violet metal of his prosthetic, and black pants with large pockets on the side, and a thick, black, leathery belt.  _ Lucky for him that his lion's color suits him so well. _

"I'm..." I hesitate, letting out a soft breath and shaking my head, "No. I'm not alright." I answer with brutal honesty, keeping my gaze cast downwards as I let out a breath, "I'll be okay, though… I'm used to having bad dreams." I look up at Shiro's worried gaze, swallowing on the lump in my throat without much success. 

"Oh." He murmurs, his eyebrows furrowed as he moves to take a seat on the arm of the pilot's seat, looking at me with a serious, yet understanding expression, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I don't answer for a long moment, leaning on the control board as I stare at the floor, “It's…”

I contemplate whether I should let it slide, to hide it and never speak of what I saw, but when my eyes rise and meet Shiro's warm and kind gaze, I pause.  _ He was there with Sendak, too. Maybe he'll understand that part, at least. _  "I keep thinking… and now dreaming… about what happened with Sendak."

Shiro nods curtly, his eyes flickering across my features with a his brow furrowed in worry, "I've been meaning to ask you about that."

I nod, biting my lip, "I don't know, I just… I've never encountered someone, something with so little humanity and care for life." I feel my breath quicken and my nose curl as I speak with growing confidence, or rather fear, "I don't know, I… It does definitely give me a personal reason to fight this war, if nothing else. I just… I see him everywhere. Someone says his name, and I feel my side hurting, when people surprises me when they touch me I flinch. I can't stop it, and I'm so  _ angry  _ that I was so helpless and stupid, and now that fuck up just  _ haunts  _ me for no fucking reason other than to remind me of how bad I fucked up." I find myself speaking in a rapid manner, like if I don't say the words fast enough a hand will clamp over my mouth. My breath is harder to grasp, and I feel slight tremor in my voice that stems from elsewhere. I hold up my hand to confirm my suspicions; my fingers quake and tremble.

Shiro nods, reaching out a hand and resting it on my hand held in front of me. I twist my fingers to take his, grateful for the help to keep me grounded as I let out a soft sigh, and slowly meet Shiro's gaze. He's peering at me with expressive, stormy eyes like a thunderstorm as he speaks in a soft and gentle tone, "I know how you feel." I see the true worry and concern reflecting in his gaze.  _ He does actually know what I'm talking about, doesn't he? He was there… but he has also been prisoner to the Galra before. _

"I don't remember much from the time before, but I get… flashbacks, sometimes." Shiro murmurs, his gaze sliding from mine and to the floor like my own line of thought brought the words out of his mouth. Immediately I hang onto his hand tighter as he continues, “Just glimpses. Sometimes I'm in the arena, fighting, other times I'm on this table and…” He rolls his shoulder, the shoulder connected to the Galra prosthetic, and I feel my throat constrict, "I get the same thing. I think it's called a ghost pain, where nothing is actually hurting or wrong, but your body reacts the same as it did in the moment when it happened." __

_ This pain... _  Shiro's gaze is pinned to the floor with his brow furrowed, and I can see the tension in his shoulders, his jaw, even though the hand I'm clasping is as gentle and fluid as if he were completely relaxed.  _ Shiro’s been through so much, being imprisoned and not remembering the horrors you suffered, to wake up without an arm and without a clue of what happened. But… Nonetheless, he forges on with such a brave face that I don't think I ever would've thought that Shiro would be haunted by the trauma that brought him here if I hadn't had this opportunity for him to open up to me. And now, he's had to experience it again, and remember it. Because of me.  _

"Shiro..." I murmur sadly, gripping his hand to ground him just as much as the touch grounds me, my throat tightening, "I'm  _ so sorry _ . If I hadn't gotten captured, you could've defeated Sendak, then none of that would've happened." Shiro's gaze flickers up to me, and he looks like he wants to say something but I spit out the words before I lose the courage to speak my truth, "I tried  _ so hard  _ to protect you and Lance, but all I did was end up hurting you. You've already suffered at their hands so badly, even if you don't remember all of it, they took your  _ arm _ -"

"Hey, hey." Shiro's voice is gentle, soft, yet it immediately cuts off my blathering as his fingers lace between mine, "Don't blame yourself for what happened. Sendak's to blame, the Galra are to blame; they're the ones who did this, not you." 

I feel something dark and terrible stir in my chest, the likes of which I haven't felt for a long time; a seething, spitting rage, a fire that burns hotter with the frustration of helplessness that I can't ever quench. That what caused this spark to light in my chest is irreversible and branded into me forever. 

Shiro continues to speak in that same, tender tone, bringing me out of my dark thoughts as me murmurs, "I'm really proud of you, you know." I hesitate to meet his gaze, but I feel his stormy gray eyes boring into my expression as his grasp on my hand tightens, his skin emanating such warmth that it quells the ice in my bones, “You've got a big heart, and you're _  strong.  _ I know it doesn't feel like it sometimes, but your strength lies in getting up after you've been knocked down, and you do. You did.”

For once, I find myself speechless. Usually I always have something to say, a retort, a follow up, something, but this time, I'm just listening, blank, like a clean slate.  _ Your strength lies in getting up after you've been knocked down.  _

"Just like you, Shiro." I murmur, slowly meeting his gaze as the words flow out before I can truly reflect on them. Shiro blinks at me with a slightly startled expression, and I persist with soft confidence in the truth of my words, "You're strong like that, too. You survived despite all that the Galra have taken from you." I reach out with my other hand and touch the palm of Shiro's prosthetic hand, wordlessly Shiro’s gaze follows my hand. I find myself smiling a little bit as the words spill from deep within me, "I don't think that Voltron could have a better leader than you."

Slowly, Shiro meets my expression, alight with warmth and compassion as a slight smile quirks the corners of his lips, "We're in this together, right?" 

His voice is so soothing, calm like the crash of the ocean waves, and I feel such peace that I answer without hesitation, "Right."

I release Shiro's hand gently, disengaging as I lean against the holographic panel of my lion as we sit in a few moments of comfortable silence. My shaking has more than stopped, surprisingly I feel… a lot better. 

Shiro lets out a soft breath before his gaze turns and fixes on me, "Will, can I ask you something?" I open my eyes and meet Shiro's, raising an eyebrow at him to indicate he can continue, "How did you get the White Lion to attack when Sendak was holding us?" 

I blink at him stupidly, "What?" 

Shiro blinks back at me with equal confusion, "You know, when the White Lion started attacking the Castle?" 

"What?" I repeat, staring at him with total confusion, “I literally have no idea what you're…” 

I pause, my gaze falling to the side as I rummage through my memory of the moment before Pidge arrived. The Castle was rumbling, and I thought in passing it must've been an earthquake or something, but I wasn't exactly fixated on that, as I was getting close to bleeding out and Sendak had his claws on me and was shouting at me, something about… calling? But, I do remember, behind him, I saw the images of the lions' hangers. I panicked for a moment, because I swore… "I saw a hologram, of my hanger." I murmur, my eyebrows furrowed, "... It was empty." I bite my lip, closing my eyes and honing in on the memory, distancing myself from the absolute terror and pain to fixate on the details,  _ the details...  _ "It was hard to notice anything besides Sendak choking me, he said something about calling... something. I don't remember." I glance over at Shiro with wide eyes, "Do you think… Do you think that she was trying to get to me? Like out in the desert on Arus, when our lions saved us from that blast?" 

Shiro tilts his head to the side in contemplation, his eyes narrowing pensively, "... Maybe? I didn't think that they could do that, but our lions have saved us in the past. Maybe the White Lion sensed you were in danger again, and tried to save you?" 

I press my palm against the holographic panel of my lion, and immediately I feel the White Lion's presence envelop me like a warm blanket, a soft and motherly purr filling my heart and my lungs. A warming caress across my being, like when our essences stretch to form Voltron but between me and her; I think she appreciates having her efforts be recognized.  _ Then let me say it formally: thank you, Silver.  _

Her presence recedes like the waves just before a tsunami, and I turn my head to regard Shiro, letting out a soft breath, "... So, how long was I asleep?"

"I think only about 2 hours." Shiro answers, his demeanor relaxing casually as he stands up from where he was perched on the arm of the pilot's seat, "We got some food, and I thought you'd just head back to your room, but when I went to check on you, you weren't there. So... It really just took me a while to find you." Shiro smiles apologetically, crossing his arms comfortably as he watches me with a paternal gaze, "You must have been really wiped out after that fight."

I nod, "Yeah. Apparently, another fun perk about being the White Paladin is that the White Lion can... like... transfer? Yeah, transfer any damage she may take to me instead." Recalling the attack, I remember the shots I took, being too clumsy to dodge those fighters, then taking that shot in the back from the ro-beast... I trace a hand to my back, and as I prod the skin I feel the burn practically awaken at my touch, immediately stinging and burning angrily as if to compensate for me forgetting about it. And that big blast that I took straight to the face… I can't believe that it didn't incinerate me on the spot. "She asked my permission, I think, when we fought that first monster to do that, so you know, consent is cool, but every once in a while… it kind of sucks. But luckily, I don't think she's hurt." I pat her panel fondly with a dismissive shrug. 

"That's... bad, actually. You might be really hurt, then." Shiro immediately goes into Caring Parent mode, standing up and wrapping an arm around my shoulders as if to support me, "Come on, let's go get you to the infirm."

Initially I want to protest, but thinking about how nice it felt to exit the cryo-pod after that battle with the ro-beast... It didn't hurt badly then, but it's like Keith had said, better to take an hour or two in the cryo-pod rather than have to spend many hours in it later. "I… wouldn't be opposed, I guess." I huff, and wrap an arm around Shiro's waist as we walk out of the White Lion. I didn't think I needed his support, but as soon as we get to the stairs to descend out of my lion's mouth my legs get incredibly wobbly for some reason and can barely hold my weight as we descend down the stairwell. It takes some teeter-totting to make our way to the infirmary, but Shiro is incredibly patient. I thank him obnoxiously often as we make our way, but he brushes me off and chuckles at me offhandedly as we go down the dim halls of the Castle, heralding night time. Allura and Coran set the Castle's light fixtures to dim, brighten, and turn off at regular time intervals, so regardless of what planet we're on or whether we're in deep space, we're kept on a regular time schedule. 

Once we arrive to the infirm, Shiro releases me so I can sit down on the steps in front of the healing pods. I touch the wrist of my suit, suddenly intrigued as I check the time, "Oh, it's kind of late. Has everyone else already gone to bed?" I ask as Shiro touches the middle console of the room, one of the healing pods rising up from the floor behind me. Shiro nods, turning back to me and gesturing with his chin, "Why don't you spend a few hours in there? Get some rest and let i fix you up."

I look at the pod with a pent up release of air, "I would like some fixing up. Can it fix a crippling self esteem, too?" I joke, standing up with a laugh to myself as I enter the pod. Shiro merely shakes his head at me with a slight grin.

"It’s been tested, unfortunately it’s a no. I'll see you in the morning, Will." Shiro murmurs with a gentle smile, and I reach out before he turns to leave, touching his wrist.

"Hey, Shiro?" He pauses to look back at me, and I give him a supportive smile, "Thanks. For all that touchy-feely stuff."

Shiro shrugs nonchalantly, but I can see a hidden smile in his eyes, "No problem. Now, rest up." I let him go, and he turns and walks out of the infirm. I turn and settle into the pod, pressing my back against the cool metal. I close my eyes as the pod engages, and as the minty-cold air rushes into my lungs I take a few deep breaths, and everything fades to black.

\---

I awaken as the healing pod opens, letting out a soft breath as I step out, albeit a little shakily. My muscles all feel like they're still waking up, but... way more so than the last time I was in the pod. It kind of feels like when you sleep a really long time, you think you would wake up feeling super refreshed but instead you're still tired, that's kind of how it feels. 

I gaze around the room while I sleepily rub my eyes, and start when I'm met with Coran's wide-eyed gaze. He's standing in the center of the room, a hand hovering over the holographic screen in the center, and I see that all of the healing pods in the room are standing upright in the air rather than hidden in the floor, "Oh, Will!" Coran starts, frowning down at the hologram with a hand on his chin, "This said that that pod was empty." He shrugs and straightens the front of his navy, uniform tunic with a confident swagger, "Interesting. You should be grateful I came along when I did, otherwise it never would have spit you out! That's rather strange, though… Must be a mis-calibration in the system..." Coran grumbles under his breath as he types several commands into the panel, and I blink slowly as I process this information.  _ It never would have spit me out.  _

I blink in shock, "Wait, it didn't just let me out because I was done? How long has it been?"

Coran shrugs, "Oh, it hasn't been a thousand years, don't you worry! I assume you only were in there overnight! We were wondering where you were at breakfast just now..." Coran taps his lip thoughtfully before he returns to the console, "I'm diverting power in the healing pods to the detainment room at the moment, so you should head down there to meet up with the others. Shiro and Pidge have an idea to use the same technology that holds Alfor's essence within the Castle to see if there's a way to get information from Sendak."

I feel my blood run cold at the mention of his name, and I remember in a dark wave that Sendak is still in the Castle, 'in stasis'. I quickly nod to mask my anxiety as renewed energy, “Alright, I'll be there in a minute. I'm going to get out of my suit…” I pause before I exit the room, and wave to Coran with an amicable smile, "Thanks for getting me out of there, Coran."

Coran smiles at me under his big bushy mustache as I exit the infirmary and head towards my room, mumbling something about a mis-calibration under his breath.

_ Yikes, that's a little concerning. How long would it have taken someone to come looking for me? Would they have ended up finding me, if Coran hadn’t come along? _  I walk into my room and pull off my Voltron armor, which I swear  _ smells  _ as I've been wearing it for... what, at least a full day?  _ Well, I have, so that makes sense. _  I stretch my arms over my head with a groan, my muscles still feel a little bit like they're still asleep while I rummage through my drawers.  _ I don't have time to shower now, I need to get down there to join the others for this interrogation.  _

I rifle through the drawers, frowning at the gray and white general monotone of the clothing choices.  _ I'm gonna have to trade with Pidge, or something, just to get some different colors.  _ I pull on Altean pants, soft like sweat-pants material, but stretchy like an old pair of good jeans.  _ I wonder where these clothes came from. How do they fit me? I'm sure it's some fancy Altean something or another, but I would like to know if I can't get something in different colors, because damn.  _ At the bottom of a drawer, I find a solid white shirt that looks and feels, for all intents and purposes, like an undershirt back home, which is insane considering we're on an Altean ship light years away from Earth.  _ I can't believe Altean fashion was like anything we had on Earth... Maybe whoever or whatever made these clothes emulated the clothes we were already wearing when we got here? I'm gonna have to ask Coran or Allura about this, my interest is piqued.  _ I pull on the shirt and grab my flannel that I'd discarded onto my bed, leaving my room to meet the others in the detainment chamber once I pull my converse on.

I feel my footsteps falling a little heavily as I walk, pulling on my flannel and wrapping it around my shoulders. The light in the hall is bright, it’s probably just before mid day, and as I make my way down to the detainment chamber I pass the mess hall. I peer inside and stop as I see the table and all of a sudden the dream washes over me fresh and anew; this is the doorway I was looking into in my dream, with all my friends around the table, and those people that I've seen before, but can't remember who they are. 

This rips my thoughts away from the terrified idea of being left in the pod, or going to see Sendak while he’s in stasis, instead fixating on the crystal clear memories of my dream… every single part. I whirl around at the turn of a heel, and continue on my path to the detainment room as I let out a soft breath.

There are many levels of concerning in my dream, but the slow spiral near the end really takes the cake on  _ weirdest and most concerning dream ever.  _

I've had a bit of a crush on Keith up until this point, but it wasn't anything serious, it was just like  _ oh yeah, he's pretty, haha cool  _ but this was something else; I not only thought about Keith in a  _ more than friendly _  way, but I fucking  _ made out  _ with him in the dreams.  _ Wow, _  now _ that _ is a next level gay crush right there.  _ Does that happen to everyone? Is this what normal dreams are like?  _

What's even worse was how he had morphed into  _ Damien _  of all people, and then in came Sendak in one fell swoop. Three, big, problematic things one after the other, and I internally swear that now I have additional tropes for my subconscious to use to fuck with me in the future, these sorts of things will be popping up more often if these new types of dreams keep coming.

_ And now I'm going to have to face Sendak. Whoopie. Well, he’s in stasis, so maybe it won’t be terrible? Oh God, and  _ **_Keith_ ** _ , I have to see  _ **_Keith_ ** _ after such a dream. _  This thought stalls my progression through the Castle as I feel embarrassment prickle my skin, like I'm about to go on stage to deliver an impromptu speech. After imagining him pinning me up against the wall and kissing my neck like that...  **_Fuck_ ** _  that's not good, my cheeks are on fucking _ **_fire._ **

What's even worse is that Sendak will be in the same room.

_ This is going to fucking suck.  _

_ Keep your head in the game, Lancaster.  _ I turn down a hall, getting close to the detainment chamber, which lies past the engine rooms.  _ There's no room for gay thoughts on this ship. Focus on not flipping shit over seeing Sendak, because I know I fucking will, that's a more productive use of my time. _

I enter the detainment chamber, a long, dark blue hallway with several columns of empty cryo-pods along the sides. All, that is, except one, where the team has gathered, their voices echoing softly in the empty space. This pod is glowing bright blue, and as I approach the group I see Sendak floating within. It sends a cold shiver down my spine, but luckily I can see his eye is closed, like he's asleep, and he appears to be floating in some sort of clear fluid.  _ He's in stasis. He's in stasis. He's in stasis.  _

Shiro looks up at me as I enter, and I can see his face crease in worry. I smile a little, encouraging both him and myself as I roll up to the group; Coran’s still in the infirmary, there’s Shiro, Lance, Hunk, Pidge,  _ Keith, fuck ignore him...  _ where's Allura? 

"Hey dude, where have you been?" Hunk's voice cuts into my thoughts suddenly, raising an eyebrow at me as I approach. 

Lance immediately hops onto the train, his hands on his hips with a scolding expression, "Yeah, we haven't seen you since the fight yesterday!"

I try to smile, but it comes out a little forced, "I uh… took a really intense power nap in the White Lion. You know how it be." I joke with a lackadaisical shrug, but I can't help feeling so… unsettled. Just Sendak being there, asleep, in stasis, whatever, makes my stomach tie up into fearful knots. I feel like his eye could fly open at any second as he punches the glass to come out and kill us all.

"We were worried about you." Pidge says with a friendly smile. She's holding her bag on her shoulder, like she's going to class after our meeting.

I quickly shrug it off, "I'm fine, thanks for your concern. I'm surprised you guys noticed I was gone!" I say with a teasing lilt and a hint of truth, pushing my hands into my pockets. I wish I had the White Lion's stone to mess with, something to keep my hands busy, but I took it off and left it in my room when Lance gave it back to me yesterday.  _ Damn, I shouldn’t have done that. It would have healed me after the fight, and I wouldn’t have had to go to the infirmary. I’ll go get it after this. _

"Of course we would, you are a part of the team, after all." Shiro answers with a kind smile, and I can't help but smile in return.  _ Warm, fuzzy feelings, very nice.  _

Yesterday… Christ, it seemed like so long ago. Waking up after Sendak’s bullshit, Rolo and Nyma, freeing the Balmerans, destroying the Galra fleet, that massive lizard beast… I blink as I recall how quickly our plans had changed. First, it was  _ destroy the Galra and drive them out _ , then came all the complications, then literally came the beast, and I'm pretty sure that fight with it, the thousands of lasers, must have wounded the Balmera badly enough that it began its final stages of death. Then it was  _ loading the entire planet  _ onto the Castle, and then, suddenly that blue circle happened… it healed the Balmera completely. Allura did it, whatever that healing ceremony was to revitalize the Balmera. I remember Shay, holding Allura in her arms like she was an infant, her eyes were fazed out, she looked utterly spent, like a wrung out cloth.  _ Why didn't I check on her? _

_ I know why. I was tired, I was exhausted, and I got too preoccupied with myself to think about what happened to her. Fuck, how could I have just left her alone like that? I’ve really grown to be a selfish prick, haven’t I?  _ I furrow my eyebrows as I snap back to the present, "Where's Allura? Is she okay?"

Shiro nods, jutting his thumb over his shoulder and down the hall, "She's resting. Coran told us that she used her… what's the word… quintessence? She channeled that through the ship's to heal the Balmera, and it drained her pretty bad. I don't know all of the exact details but I do know that she'll be okay." He answers in a comforting, gentle tone, and I allow my shoulders to relax.

Allura is still such an… enigma. I haven't really been able to have an actual conversation with her since I met her, only passing remarks and group discussions with the whole team, but never one on one.   _ I need to get to know her better when she's well. I have so many questions, about Voltron, the lions, Altea, her. All of it! That, and I ought to be a better friend… Being all on the ship together for the foreseeable future and all that. _

Coran enters the hall then, grinning at us with what appear to be an armful of white hockey pucks. "Hello, young Paladins!" He says cheerfully. As he gets closer, I still can't tell what these hockey puck looking things are, or what they do. We murmur our greetings as he approaches the cryo-pod we all gathered around with Sendak inside, and he steps in front of it and affixes them to the glass. I notice then there are a series of buttons along the side, one is big and red and says very clearly  _ “DO NOT PRESS, EJECTION FOR EMERGENCIES” _ . The fluid within the pod bubbles to the surface at various intervals, and I can't help getting a little anxious to have Coran be so close to him.  _ If Sendak woke, he could easily break that glass and strangle Coran to death, even with his one hand...  _

"Alright!" Coran begins once the hockey pucks are affixed to the glass surface, moving to the small glass cylinder that next to the active cryo-pod, "Sendak's almost all hooked up. But, look, I have to warn you, this technology was used to keep Altean memories alive, not to interrogate prisoners."

I furrow my eyebrows, crossing my arms as I set my jaw to keep my second thoughts to myself as Shiro answers with a determined expression, "Coran, we understand this isn't what the technology was meant for, but if we can extract Sendak's memories we may gain valuable intelligence on Zarkon's troop locations."

Lance grins, "Yeah, and then we can just be like,  _ 'Knock knock,' _ " Lance knocks a fist against Hunk's skull, who merely blinks blankly at him, " _ 'Who's there?' _ " Lance continues with a mocking tone emulating the Galra Empire, " _ 'The avenging fury of Voltron, son!' _ " Lance waves his arms over his head with a cocked eyebrow, and I can't help but chuckle.  _ I really appreciate his light heartedness right now, I feel like I’m two seconds away from bolting like a terrified cat. _

"Fascinating." Pidge murmurs, pressing his face to the glass of the smaller cylinder as Coran types on a holographic keyboard just beside it. It appears that the cylinder is filled with clear fluid, same as what surrounds Sendak, yet it's not very large, it could barely fit a cat within, "How exactly does this work?" Pidge asks with a raised eyebrow.

Coran answers without looking up from his screen, "As the memories are extracted, they're written bit by bit on individual molecules of the micro-storage strands."

Lance crosses his arms, his gaze dreamy, "When I go, I want all the stuff in my brain stored in a giant ship."

Keith speaks for the first time since I arrived, his arms crossed with a stoic expression from where he stands beside Lance. "The amount of information in your brain could be stored in a paper airplane." 

I can't help but laugh out loud, pointing at Lance with a broad smirk, "Oh,  _ burn _ , bitch!" 

"Oh yeah?!" Lance cries antagonistically, turning on Keith with a curled nose, "Well, the amount of information you have,  _ Keith _ , could be...!" He pauses, his eyebrows furrowed as he struggles to think of a good comeback.

Keith raises an eyebrow, "Yeah?

Lance huffs, and I can see the wheels turning, "Uh... it's less than what I have!" He turns away with an air of victory.

Hunk gasps, "Oh, good one, Lance!" I honestly can't tell if Hunk is being sarcastic or not, and that makes it even funnier. Keith looks like his soul just transcended this realm, and I cover my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. 

Shiro sighs in a very tired manner.

Pidge presses her ear against the glass of the cylinder that Coran is typing at, "So, is this is how you incorporated King Alfor's memories into the Castle of Lions?"

"Precisely." Coran answers, and Pidge struggles to get on her toes to look and see what Coran is doing by peering over his shoulder as he continues, "But it's never been attempted before on an unwilling participant." He takes a step back and dismisses the hologram after pressing one last key, and turns to examine Sendak. We all watch anxiously with bated breath.

After a few seconds of silence, the interior of the cylinder next to Sendak fires to life. A cast of light shines down into the cylinder from its connection into the wall, where it must be connected to Sendak, and the liquid sloshes inside of the cylinder, as if disturbed, when the machine hums.

"Uh, is it that supposed to be happening?" Hunk asks anxiously, and Coran scratches the top of his head with a raised eyebrow. I can't tell if that's a 'yes' or a 'no'.  _ I don’t like that. _

"Let's give it some time." Shiro answers, his arms crossed in determination, so we stand in silence as we anxiously watch the cryo-pod, watch Sendak, and the cylinder beside him. 

Nothing moves.

Pidge and Hunk sit down on the ground first after about fifteen minutes and Lance quickly joins them. I feel too anxious to sit. I can't stop staring at Sendak's face. I feel like his eye could fly open at any moment, and he'll break out of the glass and try to kill us.

"I don't like this." I state suddenly, frowning as the others turn to look at me, "I don't like it at all. Are you sure we shouldn't just kill him?" 

The room grows eerily quiet, and after several seconds Lance breaks the silence, looking back at me to give me an incredulous look, "Dude, that's the second time you've said that, that's seriously messed up!" 

The dark fire from before sparks in my chest, and I can't help shooting him a hard glare. "You didn't see what he was like, Lance. You don't know how  _ monstrous  _ he is." I snarl, and I can feel my voice rising as if the volume of my words would prevent my voice from shaking, but before I lose control I take a deep breath, biting my right fingertips into the scar on my palm sharply. The pain shoots up my arm, ebbing the anger away, and only once I’m able to take a breath without my throat tightening I speak in a much more level tone, "I don't know what useful information we'll be able to find in his sick brain that we couldn't find somewhere else." 

"Will," Shiro snaps, his gaze never pulling from Sendak’s form in the pod, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, alright? For right now, let's give it a chance to work." 

I grit my jaw, crossing my arms and leaning against the wall on the other side of Sendak. I feel like my blood is boiling, just looking at his horrible face makes me want to break the glass and cave his skull in.  _ I want to kill him. I  _ **_really_ ** _ want to kill him. _

Keith shifts to lean on the cryo-pod next to where I stand, the movement drawing me out of my thoughts as I turn to look at him. He meets my gaze, only briefly, and I have to tear my gaze away and look anywhere else. My bloodthirst dies as the memory of my dream rushes back to me, especially since I’m leaning against the wall. I've never had such a switch in emotions before, and immediately I feel my face burning hot just even in passing thinking about...  _ Wow _ .  _ Why does my gay subconscious have to betray me like this. I can't tell if this is any better than my rage just a few seconds ago. _

I pull away to stand on my own rather than lean on the wall.

Time passes unbearably slowly. It takes all of my energy to not think about my dream, about Keith leaning on the wall beside me, and that  _ fucking dream. What the fuck is wrong with me. Just stop thinking! Is that too much to ask? _

"Well, I can't wait around anymore." Keith huffs after about ten more minutes, stretching his arms over his head as he turns away to walk out, "I'm gonna go hit the training deck." I keep my gaze on the floor, but I can't help the sigh of relief that comes out when he leaves. 

I just... can't seem to bear being around him after that stupid fucking dream. It's too real, it felt too real, and that's a horrible pressure. Having an idle crush is one thing, but that dream took it to a whole other level that I'm not ready for, especially having to live around him for who knows how long. I have to keep my feelings under control. I can't treat him any differently than anyone else just because I'm stupid and gay.

Hunk raises an eyebrow at me, and I avoid meeting his gaze as I instead shift to lean on my other foot against the wall opposite of Sendak. I stare at him for a long while, wondering what possibly must have been going through his head when he took over the Castle. What dark satisfaction must have filled him when he knocked Shiro unconscious, dragging all three of us to the bridge as he prepared the Castle for liftoff. He probably, no, he  _ definitely  _ was excited when I tried to strike a deal, he  _ wanted  _ that to happen so he would have the excuse. There's no way that someone gleefully watches a perfect stranger scream and bleed-  

I can't take it anymore. __

_ I have to think about something else, or I'm going to drive myself insane. _

I close my eyes and let out a rush of breath.  _ I’m done thinking about that stupid dream because it’s way too problematic to dwell on… So I’ll think about home. Texas, my house, my room, my parents. The mountains, summer camp, Virginia Beach, the ocean breeze against my skin, the sea salt, the warmth of the sand… _

_ That's better. _

Another twenty minutes pass. Hunk has taken to lying face first on the ground, waving his feet in the air. Pidge groans, "Okay, if anyone needs me, I'll be in the lab." She grumbles as she moves to her feet, "Maybe I can pull some information from Sendak's Galra crystal." She turns and trudges out the door as we remain in our places throughout the room. 

Coran is walking down the line, examining each cryo-pod and shines the glass surfaces with a white cloth, no doubt just busying himself. Lance stands next to Shiro, his eyebrow raised as he turns his head to look from Shiro to Sendak. This makes me realize that in the past forty, fifty minutes, Shiro hasn't moved an inch. Lance waves at Shiro to get his attention but he doesn't move, he’s staring at Sendak with crossed arms and an intense expression. Lance shifts away, moving to sit next to Hunk instead with a dejected huff. 

Grief grips my heart as I watch Shiro, completely unmoving, like an obsidian statue as he stands in front of Sendak between him and I.  _ He's just as affected by the experience as I am. It fills me with such rage that I'm left trembling and a genuine desire to hurt him… Shiro must feel the same rage. He was there, he knows what I know. He hates him as much as I do. _

_ No, don’t think about that. Keep your head in the past to forget the now.  _

I return to my thoughts of home, of the ocean in particular, as my haven. When we moved to Texas for my parents to work at the space academy just before my sophomore year, and it really wrecked me. We used to live in northern Virginia, an hour from DC and two hours from Virginia Beach. I had to drop my friends who only just grew to accept my identity, I had to drop my field hockey team, and worst of all the forest and the ocean. Being so far away from these things, living in the desert of all places, really fucked me up. My dreams got more intense the older I got, and my parents got more and more worried about me to the point that they got me to see two new doctors in Texas. I started getting on medication, antidepressants, mood stabilizers, extreme doses of melatonin... It did nothing, not really, no matter what we tried. Some even made them worse, making me sluggish and slow and intensifying the horror of my failure in my dreams. 

I remember, about two months before we found the Blue Lion, I heard my parents arguing in the kitchen about what to do with my worsening condition; I could barely sleep most nights without waking up at least twice and nearly having a panic attack each time. My weight was dropping, I could barely get through the school day without falling asleep in class, and I knew I was acting weird. I felt that I was spaced out, that I didn't look like I was present, but it's because I wasn't. I don't even really remember anything for about 4 months of my life because of that, but I remember this conversation distinctly, because it's what caused me to stop taking my meds like I was supposed to. My dad briefly mentioned a hospital in California that sits right on the coastline that provides “intense care” for psychiatric patients, but my mom shot down the idea so fast that I didn't really get to digest the idea of being sent away. I miss the ocean, for sure, but I think I would miss my parents even more than that. That idea scared me so badly that I grew desperate for a change. I stopped cold turkey on my meds, and my dreams got better because I felt more in control even though they were growing more intense. I realize now that that's probably because the White Lion knew I was coming soon, and she wanted to ensure I was ready for her test. It was one of the best decisions I made for my health, even though I had to flush a lot of drugs down the toilet.

But now… I have neither my family nor the ocean. I'm in space, the last place I said I ever wanted to go, it’s even worse than a fucking  _ desert _ because that’s at least still on Earth, and I’m staring at a psychotic alien who would've tortured and killed all of my new friends, once perfect strangers about a week ago, because we’re randomly assigned pilots to a bunch of high tech mechanical killing machines to try and stop some intergalactic space war.

Essentially? _  Fucking wig. _

_ Okay, time to think about something else. Again, not Sendak. _

Inadvertently, my first thought is of Keith. I feel my face getting hot just at the mere thought, just the memory of green apple on the tip of my tongue. I realize now that that's what Damien tasted like, he had this toothpaste with that flavor, and now I can't even look at green apples without wanting to throw up. But… I guess I thought of that taste because I have no other point of reference. 

I haven't... been with anyone since Damien, at least not seriously, and I was never with anyone before. I moved to Texas as a sophomore in high school and I met him at some party a senior was throwing, Conner wanted to try out the party scene and I was dragged along. He was invited with a bunch of other Garrison kids, which was why this party was a must-go-to because everyone knows everyone looks good in a uniform. And then, he got sent into space in the summer before my junior year, and I was just so relieved I never even considered being with, dating, kissing anyone… Well, except for those two months after with all those parties… and the drinking and the terrible decisions… I partially blame the meds I was taking at the time, making me act out of character, yet I know I have no one to blame but myself for allowing myself to stoop so low, to desperately cover up Damien with strangers like that’s any better. I was just so glad he was gone… 

But this isn’t just drowning myself in any form of intimacy I can manage. This is something else entirely different, Keith is my  _ friend,  _ even though it’s only been a week I feel that we’ve all trauma bonded hard enough to grant each of us that title at minimum. Now, all because of this stupid dream, that’s changed.  _ If I hadn't had that dream, things would be perfectly fine, I would've grown out of this dumb crush within a few days because he's nice, he's been a rather good friend despite his broody attitude, but now my subconscious has gone and ruined that too. _

I can't tell whether or not that's a bad thing, to be reconsidering romance and stuff in my life, but it's never really been my priority, especially after Damien and the three rebounds after that utterly wrecked my self esteem and self worth that I had remaining. But… I touch my lips thoughtfully, my eyebrows drawn together and I almost let out a dreamy sigh. _  I'd forgotten how nice it is, to feel wanted and desired. Even if it's just my subconscious being a dick to me. _  I blink, realizing how absorbed I've become with this new line of thought as a fresh blush rises in my cheeks, my entire face feels like I'm standing in front of an open oven.

_ Wow, I really just started seriously considering dating again because of this stupid crush. I have got to get over this, I can't be applying that pressure on Keith, even inadvertently, because whether I like it or not this is going to affect how I act around him. We've literally got the entire universe on our shoulders, the last thing I need is to throw in romantic feelings into this shit show.  _

Thirty minutes later Coran has finished cleaning all of the cryo-pods to his liking and stands behind Shiro, watching the cylinder with a pensive expression. Hunk sits up and touches his stomach as Lance does bicycle turns with his feet in the air, "Time to feed the beast," Hunk calls, shifting to his feet with a stumble as he turns to leave as well, "I'm going to go make some lunch."

Coran stretches his arms over his head, "Well, I'm afraid I can't wait here any longer either, I have a million duties to attend to." He counts on his fingers to himself, "Between that Galra crystal infecting our system, and then fighting off those ships, and performing the Balmeran rejuvenation ceremony, the old Castle of Lions has taken quite a beating!" He sets his gaze sternly, "Every system needs to be recharged and repaired!"  _ Galra crystal infecting our system? They mentioned that before, but the term 'infecting the system' definitely sounds rather ominous. _

I shift to lean on my other foot, breaking out of my thoughts as Shiro suddenly speaks after standing silent and unmoving for over an hour, "I'll stay." His voice drops an octave, determined and fiery, "Somewhere in Sendak's mind is the information about Zarkon that we need."

I feel my gaze flicker to him in worry, but he remains completely unmoving in front of Sendak's pod. A selfish part of me wants to leave, wants to get the fuck out of this room and not stare at that monster's face anymore but another part of me is worried, like  _ really  _ worried, for Shiro. 

But as I slide my gaze over Shiro's shoulder to Sendak, a cold shiver rushes down my spine and centers around my side, inducing a painful ache that I can’t seem to shake. The selfish part wins out as I push off the wall, "I can't stay in the same room with him any longer. I need to be somewhere else." I mutter, my eyebrows furrowing as I gesture off handedly, "Maybe I'll go bond with my lion, or take a shower.." I trail off, furrowing my eyebrows as I try to think about anything other than Sendak, or Keith.  _ Jesus Christ, all I can seem to think about is that fucking dream. I wish I could go back to the dreams of the White Lion's tests, at least those are familiar. Get out of your own head, Lancaster. _

Lance stands up with a yawn, "Okay! Well, while you guys do that, I'm gonna get my chill on. Maybe kick back with a lemonade. Or space juice. Something." He twists his expression in thought.

As I move to walk away with Lance Coran pipes up, "Hold on there, space juice. You're going to come and help me."

Lance huffs as we pause in the door, "What, why, why me?"

Coran grins, "Because you're the last one here, and because your activity isn't very important."

I smirk a little, "Yeah, go do your civic duty, Lance." I tease, to which he shoots a glare at me in response.

"Oh, wait, did I say 'chill with a lemonade'? I meant I have homework!" Lance calls after Coran as he walks past towards me in the doorway. 

Coran merely smirks knowingly at me, "Nope, too late!"

Lance huffs, "Fine!" He turns to trudge after Coran reluctantly as he calls over his shoulder, "Let us know if anything happens!" He says, but pauses as he looks at Shiro's unmoving silhouette. "... Shiro?"

Shiro's shoulders move a little towards Lance's voice and he speaks after a moment’s silence, "Y-you got it." It sounded like Lance just pulled him out of his own thoughts, and I can't help but watch him with worry as Coran and Lance move to pass me. His gaze is fixed on Sendak, firm and unyielding, like his glare alone could wrest the information from him.  _ He's just as scarred as I am after our encounter with him. He’s just expressing it differently than I am. Fuck, Shiro… I need to stay with him. He said we're in this together. _

_ But… I need a break. I feel like I’m about to explode if I stare at him any longer. I need to get out of this room before I lose my fucking mind.  _

_ I'm going to come back and check on him. Maybe I'll bring him some goo in about a half hour, just long enough for me to get the space I need but not long enough to leave him alone for too long.  _

I part ways with Lance and Coran as they head first towards the command deck for repairs, and I wander in the direction of our rooms, now alone with my thoughts.

I wander the Castle halls for while, consumed as I try to decide what to do with my time.  _ Maybe I'll go bond with my lion, or something? That's a thing, right? Not quite sure how that works, maybe I’ll just sit in her cabin and talk and hope she answers? Or that she's listening? No, that's no good, the last thing I need right now is to sit in a silent room with nothing but my head. Maybe I'll go train, I need to be better with my bayard anyway... But Keith might still be there. Fuck no, I can't face him yet, I need to check my gay ass before I can even be in the same room as him first. Maybe after tomorrow, when the dream becomes a distant memory.  _

It must have been at least fifteen, twenty minutes before I finally decide to go take a shower.  _ That'll help me clear my head. _  I head back in the other direction to return to my room.

I let out a soft sigh as I open my bedroom door, but before I step within I hear a voice down the hall. I pause, turning in that direction as its indistinct, but it sounds… scared. 

I frown and walk in that direction, and as I approach the other end of the hall I hear it with more and more clarity, coming out of the bathroom, "Help! Somebody, help me! Please!"  _ Whose voice is that? _

I immediately burst into the bathroom at a sprint, "Hello?!" I cry, my voice reverberating off of the walls.

"Help!!" I hear a voice down the way, on the far end with the shower rooms. I still can't tell whose voice it is because of the echo in the bathroom, but that doesn't matter, not if they're hurt. I sprint down until I grind to a halt outside the farthest shower room, the voice sounding like it's coming from within, "Help me!"

"Okay, I'm coming in, I hope you're not naked!" I call, and burst into the room.

The first sectional is empty, no clothes on the ground or anything. The room is eerily silent as I quickly rush into the next room in search for the voice's origin, my eyebrows furrowed as the actual shower area is also empty. I peek into the third, and it's barren as well.

_ What the hell? _

I frown turning around in the third sectional before letting out a sigh.  _ Maybe… I'm just hearing things? I'm not exactly in my best state of mind right now... But that sounded so real.  _

_ Fuck, I hope I'm not going crazy. Again. _

I turn to leave the room, walking into the second sectional with swirling, confused thoughts when all of a sudden the opaque sectional doors of the shower slam shut, almost at their own volition. 

I blink and walk forward, tapping on the opaque glass door open but it doesn't budge.  _ Why is the lock engaged? _  I hit the unlock button on the side, but it doesn't work, like it's jammed. "What the fuck?" I swear, and I pound on the glass, "Alright, very funny, cut it out! I'll beat whoever's ass is fucking with me right now!"

Suddenly, a sound like a piece of rubber choking a drain resonates in the room, and several shower heads poke out along the sides. I blink and glance over at the holographic panel that controls the shower, but I see that it isn't active; it's like the shower is acting on its own. Water starts to pour down, fast and loud like thunder as it drums against the sides, more like a waterfall than a shower into the space. I frown and quickly press against the door to keep from getting wet from the downpour, but it's difficult as water starts splashing everywhere. The water's coming down really fast, I'm already standing in a puddle.

That's when I realize that this sectional has no seams, and even after a minute I see that the water isn't draining.

"Seriously! Guys, cut it out, it's not funny any more!" I yell, but no one responds. Water begins to fill the room, and as I step back away from the door water sloshes with my step, like I'm on the edge of a pond.

I bang on the glass harder, yelling, "Let me out!" With no response, I growl in frustration and punch the glass. I immediately wince, my knuckles not thanking me for the action as I clasp my hand to my chest with a hiss of pain. I flicker my gaze over to the button on the side, where the shower's controls are.  _ Okay, stupid, how about you try and just turn off the water before I go breaking things. _

I rush over, attempting to stay out of the direct line of the pouring water from the two sides but I can't avoid some spray as it clings to my flannel, immediately soaking into my shirt. It's cold, uncomfortably so, but I ignore it as I press on the small holographic panel in the wall, bringing it to life. I click on the exit button, but the doors don't move. I click the reset button, still nothing. I try to undo the showering action, but as soon as I do the water suddenly starts to torrent down at a faster rate, the water raining down onto my shoulders and blasting me in the back of the head as the water is now above my shoes, soaking into my socks. It's unfortunately icy cold, immediately sending shivers up my spine, and now the discomfort of getting soaked with icy water while wearing clothes is being outweighed by the fear climbing in my throat.

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck. Okay, so this isn't a prank. This is happening, right now, and I need to get out of here before the water gets too high. _

I whirl back to the door, water sloshing and soaking into my socks as I kick the glass with the heel of my shoe. It doesn't even bend to the blow, even after kicking it several times it does nothing. I curl my nose and run back a few steps, shivering as I splash cold water up my legs and soaking into my pants. I turn and with the running start I sprint forward and pounce with both feet colliding with the glass. The glass gives like it's a trampoline, promptly causing me to bounce backwards and straight onto my ass in the rising water, thoroughly saturating my clothes to the point that not an inch of me is dry any longer. It's a horrible feeling, it’s ice cold and it immediately makes my skin crawl as I get back onto my feet quickly with a full body shiver. 

_ Alright, Plan B.  _ I look around furiously as the water is now about mid-thigh, and getting higher by the second.  _ Fuck, why is it so damn cold?! My feet are getting numb. _

I look at one of the shower heads that popped up when this all began, raining the ice water down on me. They have narrow necks and wide snouts where the water is coming out.  _ Narrow enough to break. _ I reach up and grasp the neck, water immediately splashing all over my face and causing my nose and cheeks to grow numb, but I'm now in full on desperation mode, this is worst case scenario. I pull and tug at the metal shower head with all of my strength, but to no avail, the angle’s too awkward. I huff, pressing my feet against the opaque, glass wall for leverage, and tug back with the strength of my entire body. It finally comes off with a very loud _  SNAP _  and I hit myself in the face with it as I fall backwards. I hit the other wall from the force and fall into the water, now completely submerged, which is horrifying considering how cold the water is. I grasp my face, as hitting myself with the cold metal while my face is already numb hurt like a fucking  _ bitch _  as I sit up; from my sitting position the water is to my shoulders. I rise to my feet as fast as I can manage, pushing my wet hair out of my face as an increased amount of freezing water rains down upon me. I blink past the water, shielding my eyes with a hand, and see that there is a massive torrent of water from where I yanked the shower head out of, like it's coming from a geyser. The water is now up to my waist.  _ Okay, that was a terrible idea, it just made the water rise faster. Fuck, this is bad. _

I look down at the broken metal shower head in my hand, and then at the door of the room.  _ Okay, Plan C. _  I race over, water splashing up the sides of the shower room. I'm now completely soaked to the bone and shivering non-stop from the cold, but adrenaline from the fear is kicking in as I raise my arms over my head and stab the shower head into the glass. It bounces off harmlessly and as I try over, and over, the water level rises to underneath my armpits unpleasantly. I shiver, my feet completely numb now and my fingers also start to lose their feeling as I strike down with the shower head, over, and over, and over, but each strike seems to only scratch the surface of the glass. My fingers ache from the cold, and it takes all of my strength just to keep them wrapped around the metal shower head when all of a sudden I lose grip. The metal slides out from my grasp and I let out a despaired yell as it falls into the water, and I watch as it float through the water to the shower floor. The water now to about my shoulders. I blow onto my numbing hands in between furiously cursing at myself under my breath to attempt to restore some feeling, suck in air, and dive.

I open my eyes under the water and kick with my feet and grab the shower head from where I dropped it, the icy cold water immediately numbing my face. It feels like my entire body is numb, entering that stage of cold where the water almost feels warm but I know that it isn't, _is this a stage of hypothermia?_ _How long have I been in here?_ I snatch up the showerhead, and quickly rise back to the surface with a kick on the shower floor. The water is now up past my shoulders, just to my collarbone as I find my footing. I can practically be swimming in the freezing water, and it's  _miserable_. I cough, shaking from the cold, but I persist with a grit jaw as I raise my arms over my head, both hands grasping the wide part of the shower head so the pointed end is facing the door. Furiously, I project all my strength into breaking the glass with this stupid shower head, smashing the sharp end over and over against the glass with cracking, scratching noises, my movement causing my shoulders to ache and for the water to lap at the sides of the shower and splash over my head, I can barely see past the water that clouds my gaze and I’m fighting for air while also trying not to swallow the water.

Finally, I feel the showerhead breaks through the glass with a loud  _ CRACK.  _ I let out a holler of victory and rip it out of the glass, but my excitement immediately dies when I see that the metal merely impaled the glass rather than shattering it, like I was hoping for. The water has risen to my lips and jawline, and my mouth is growing completely numb, despite my pants of desperation that kept them warm up until this point. I can't feel anything waist down anymore, my skin is numb save for my feet and my fingers, which feel like they're literally on  _ fire. _  I raise my arms over my head with a determined breath, but in order to get any leverage to smash the glass I have to tread water. I peer down through the rippling waves, and I notice with a small bit of satisfaction that a relatively large leak of water springs from the hole I made, splashing into the next room.... But, it's nothing in comparison to the amount of water coming in.  _ Okay, I just gotta make another, fast. _

My head bumps the ceiling and my heart rate climbs in fear, I'm no longer able to stab at the door with the shower head with the leverage from driving it down from over my head. I bring my arms under water with a horrible tremor as I try to stab the door again with the shower head, but the density of the water slows my movement to the point that I can't hit the glass hard enough to even knock, nevertheless break the glass.  _ I don't have enough space. I can't make another hole.  _

"No, no no!" I cry, realizing the turn in my situation.  _ Fuck, fuck, Plan D,  _ **_Plan D!_ **  I bang the shower head with loud thunks on the glass, trying to create a hole while also making as much noise as possible and screaming at the top of my lungs, "Help! Please, somebody help me! HELP!"  _ Ironic that following cries for help put me in this situation.  _

My face is now pressed to the top of the ceiling, and I force myself to take deeper breaths.  _ I'm going to run out of space to breathe, I need to break down that door. Fuck, treading water is getting more difficult, my legs are losing strength, they're burning too, god my feet hurt, my hands hurt, but I have to stay up, I have to stay up. _

I focus my energy to tread water as much as I can, waving my arms to keep myself aloft and hitting the glass intermittently… but even as I yell it's no use. No one comes, I don't see the door open.  _ I'm at the far end of the bathroom, I'd be surprised if anyone can hear me unless they're just outside.  _ Water laps at my face and I cough as a splashing wave roars into my mouth, sucking in breath ruggedly as I press my nose flat to the ceiling for the last amount of air that's available. I let out one last cry with the remaining air I have left, my lungs and throat burning from the force of the scream,  **_"HELP!!!"_ **  I draw the deepest breath I can as the water level laps at my open lips pressed to the cold ceiling, and I sink beneath into the icy waters as the last bit of air vanishes.

I blink through the water and swim to the door, the hot burn throughout my body now powered by the adrenaline to  _ live.  _ Wild and desperate, I stick my finger through the hole to attempt to widen it, but I only end up almost cutting myself on the glass.  _ That was fucking stupid. _  I hit the door with as much force as I can muster and I hear a loud  _ clank _ . I blink and peer down and realize that, somehow, I'm still hanging onto the metal shower head.  _ My hands are so cold, I don't think that I can actually release it if I wanted to.  _ I scratch the surface with the sharp end of the metal showerhead, pounding it against the glass with all the strength I can muster. I feel hot, everything hurts and burns but all that matters is air, I need  _ air.  _ I strike the glass as desperately as I can with the broken shower head, and suddenly I feel something warm in my chest, my lungs.  _ They burn. _

_ No, not here, not now! Fuck, I have to try something, anything! _

I turn to the other end of the shower and swim, using the other wall as a propellant as I twist and launch myself with all my strength at the other door. I hold the shower head above my head as I rip through the water, and my arms nearly give out as a dull  _ CRACK _  resonating through the water. I crash into the glass, nearly poking my eye out as I faceplant into the metal which is buried into the glass. I successfully made a second hole, but now the shower head is stuck in the glass. My limbs are aching, from the cold and lack of oxygen, and there are black spots dancing before my eyes as I yank and pull on the shower head with all my strength, but my fingers can barely move, curled like the gnarled grasp of a gargoyle as I plant my feet on the glass. I tug free but I lose my grip, my fingers refusing to cooperate and bend to wrap around the metal as it soars through the water to the other side of the shower.  _ My lungs burn, I can't breathe, I can't fucking breathe, I can barely see.  _ The water before my gaze begins to swim, but not in the fluid way it was before, my sight is giving out as my brain is starved of oxygen. 

_ I'm going to die. _

_ I'm going to drown in the fucking shower of all places, that's fucking awful. I mean, dying to defend my friends would be worthy, maybe, but in the shower, in some freak Altean shower accident? That's even worse! Will the others find me? Will they tell my parents? Shiro would do it, he wouldn't want anyone else to take that burden. Who would find me? Would it be Lance, Hunk, Shiro, Keith? Oh, all the shit that's left unsaid, what about Conner? Will he know? I just disappeared from Earth, he doesn't know where I am, neither do my parents. My parents… they'll be told eventually, maybe, if Shiro can return to Earth or send a message, but how long would it be? Years. That’s how long it will take to end this war. I would be long dead by then. I'm so sorry… Dad, Mom, I'm so sorry. _

Involuntarily, I choke for air as a natural reflex. My body desperately inhales to get oxygen but instead water rushes in. My throat screams in pain as the water, like hot lava, rips down my esophagus and fills my lungs. My hand pounds the surface of the glass desperately as I choke, my fingers clawing at the scratched surface. A shadow passes, a specter of death, and my vision tunnels, the outer edges turning black. My lungs burn like magma as I drown, voiceless.

Everything goes black.

...

_ Sendak's golden gaze pierces the darkness as he snarls, "The others don't know what you know, they haven't seen what you've seen. Face it, you'll never beat Zarkon! He's already beaten you!" _

_ I see Shiro's face, wide eyed in utter terror as he clutches his head like Sendak's voice is coming from within, "I-I'm not listening to you!" _

_ Sendak snarls over Shiro's cowering form, his body sparking with violet, malevolent energy, like just before his prosthetic claw would before he'd electrocute, "Do you really think a  _ **_monster_ ** _  like you could ever be a Voltron Paladin?!" _

_ Shiro roars, his eyes flashing open with fresh and fiery rage,  _ **_“Stop it!”_ **

**_..._ **

_ Crack.  _

Air rushes into my lungs, and something in my body clicks, a natural instinct to survive. I suck in the breath with a wild gasp as my body is racked with violent coughs. Water burns my throat as I feel hands pushing me onto my side and I cough up such a copious amount of water that it can't be healthy, hot and cold at the same time as it floods out. I take in my first deep breath desperately, my body suddenly beginning to tremble as the cold hits me like a swung door, I start shivering uncontrollably.  _ Oh my god, I'm so cold, I can't feel anything, yet I feel everything, painful and hot and numbing. Fuck. _

_ Holy fuck… I'm alive. _

"Oh thank god, he's okay!" I hear a voice behind me, Hunk's? It reverberates painfully in my skull as I cough, a lot, so much coughing that I feel like I'm spilling my insides out through my mouth to wrench them dry. I feel several warm hands on me, and now that I'm able to think coherently I realize its two sets of hands, one curled in my hair to keep it out of my face and the other on my forearm, with two more rubbing my back soothingly. I feel warmth covering my hands, which grow from being made of stone to a burning cold, like my hands are made of ice and then set aflame. The warmth in the touch returns some semblance of feeling, and my hands grow from burning cold to freezing to cold as I take several grateful breaths. I think I might be grasping onto something, but I'm not really sure, and finally I find the strength to open my eyes, shivering uncontrollably to the point my teeth chatter painfully in my skull.

There's broken glass all over the floor as well as about an inch of water, streaming out the open door on the far side of the room and into the hallway. My vision swims for a moment, but slowly I gain focus as the icy burn that clenches over my body intensifies. I take a chattering breath as I slowly look to the side, following my arms like they’re a trail to follow. My hand is clasped onto someone's... thigh? A hand wearing fingerless gloves rests on my forearm where I'm apparently grasping the owner's leg, and I look up and meet Keith's violet, concerned gaze. I'm racked with another violent cough as I sit up, and Keith's other hand releases my hair to instead support my shoulder. I take several deep, raspy breaths as Hunk's hands that were on my back move to my other shoulder, "Easy dude, easy. Take it slow." He murmurs, I plant my hands on either side of me. I feel a piece of glass, sharp and cold under my hands, and it strangely fills me with relief.  _ I can feel again. I like feeling things, even though right now everything fucking hurts, but it’s better than feeling nothing and knowing that I should be feeling something. _

I slowly blink as I look to see Pidge, Lance, and Coran hovering just in front of me, looking incredibly relieved as they kneel in a small cluster. I breathe, and I can practically feel the oxygen dispersing through my body.  _ God, what a relief it is to breathe. I'm never taking this for granted again. _

"You... y-y-you f-found me." My teeth chatter uncontrollably to the point I'm barely able to spit out the words, and I'm racked with another violent coughing fit. I sniffle, shivering hard as I grab onto the hem of my flannel and tug it off. It usually would provide some warmth, but it's completely soaked in ice cold water, and seems to be sapping the minor amount of warmth I'd been able to generate from my limbs. I go to take off my shirt too when red flashes in the corner of my vision and I feel something warm and dry drape across my shoulders. Too tired and too cold to care what it is or where it came from, I grasp the source and pull it tightly around me, letting the hem of my shirt drop. It's red with a dash of yellow across the chest, and the outside feels like it's a windbreaker but the inside is soft like the material in a hoodie.  _ Keith’s ugly jacket.  _ I take another shaky breath as I attempt to speak, but it feels alien, like when you randomly become hyper aware of your breathing and such a simple act as communication feels indefinitely harder. "I-I'm not d-d-dead, am I?"

"Well, if this is heaven, then I want my money back." Lance jokes with a slight smile at me from where he sits directly in front of me. He grabs onto both of my hands that are grasping Keith’s and holds them in his. They're  _ so  _ warm, so delightfully warm I immediately latch onto them like a heroine addict being handed their next fix.  _ Yeah, I'm definitely alive if Lance is still cracking shitty jokes. _

"Dude, what happened?" Pidge asks worriedly, kneeling just a bit in front of me with a soft and concerned gaze. Hunk’s hand on my shoulder is warm and comforting, and as I glance over at his form, so large and welcoming and friendly, I get the almost irresistible urge to just fall forward and hug him.  _ Oh, Hunk.  _ I realize then that I was asked a question.

_ What happened indeed. _

I peer at Hunk for a few long seconds as I try to remember how to speak, before finally stammering through chattering teeth "I-I... h-heard voice. H-here, I... th-the shower l-locked me in, and s-s-started the wa-water. I-I-I couldn't s-stop it." I shiver, pulling Keith's jacket tighter around me. 

Coran speaks with a worried gaze, "Yes, it appears the infection from Sendak's crystal has grown to be worse than we originally thought." 

_ Infection, from the Galra crystal. Sendak's crystal. _

_ Sendak. Shiro.  _

_ Shiro's still with Sendak.  _

_ Shiro is in trouble.  _

I frown, eyes widening as I move to stand, the cold suddenly not as bothersome as a deeper chill clutches my veins. Hunk reaches out for my shoulder to stop me but I shrug him off quickly and fight to my feet, ignoring how badly I tremble as I spit out, “S-Sendak.” I can practically feel his golden gaze upon me as I look down at the puddle of water once I’m finally on my feet and that's when I notice Keith's bayard, glimmering where it lies on the floor in sword form.  _ He probably used it to break the glass and save me. I'll have to thank him for that later.  _

_ Right now, I need to save Shiro.  _

_ I need to kill Sendak.  _

I reach down and snatch up his bayard, faster than I thought I would be able to move, but because my limbs are still rather numb it feels like I'm watching my body act rather than actually acting myself. I twist towards the door and march as fast as my shaking legs can manage into the hall, and for a minute all is silent. I think I may have startled them, or maybe they’re just following silently, I don’t think to care.  _ Shiro. Sendak. Shiro's in trouble, Shiro's in trouble- _  "Hey!" Keith cries, and I hear several feet falling behind me after a second of shock. Honestly, I can't believe I moved as fast as I did, considering how much I can't feel anything in any of my extremities, but something burns within me, something I can't explain, a dark flame that sparks and spreads through my veins, the only thing I can feel.  _ Shiro's in trouble. _

"Dude, where are you going? We have to go find Shiro! Give me that!" Keith demands in a swift, and angry tone from behind me. He moves grabs my wrist but I pull away from him as I approach the bathroom door.  _ I can't explain now, we have to hurry. I can't speak yet, my teeth are chattering, and I don't know how long he has, I don't have time to try and spit it out, Shiro's in trouble. _  I shut the door to the bathroom behind me while he, and the others, are still inside. It'll take him a second, but it's the second I need to find the strength to get a head start towards the detainment room.  _ You'll understand in a minute, just let me- _

They run to catch up to me in a few seconds as I turn the corner. I feel hands, clad in those stupid fingerless gloves, grabs my arm tightly again and I immediately twist out of his grasp, plant my hands on Keith's chest and shove him as hard as I can, but considering how I can barely keep the strength to hold Keith's bayard that doesn't really say much. Keith blinks and stumbles back a little as I bare my teeth at him as I desperately attempt to speak, "N-No!" I snap with chattering teeth, unable to stop shaking from cold and fury, "It's S-S-Sendak!"

Keith frowns deeply at me as he races next to me, shouting at me to the point that my skull hurts, "Yeah, but Shiro might be in trouble, we have to get to him first!"

_ For fucks sake, I don't have time for this.  _ "S-Shiro's i-i-in t-trouble. S-Sendak." I try and fail to speak, my lips refuse to move in time with my thoughts, and it comes out in jumbles. Keith frowns at me, and I hear what sounds like Lance's voice behind me but Keith's voice is loud enough to mask Lance's words, "How do you know? And give me my bayard ba-"

"No!" I snap, and Keith's touch barely grazes the bayard as I wrench it from his grip again. Keith blinks at me in surprise, and I pause in the hall, focusing my will on my mouth,  _ fucking say the words. I'm cutting the head off the snake. This is Sendak's doing, he has Shiro, and we have to save him. _  "C-cu-cut s-sn-snake. S-s-Send-d-ak w-with Sh-Shiro." I feel like I’m about to scream in frustration, instead I curl my hand into a fist and whirling around to head back down the hall as fast as my numb legs can carry me. 

"Dude, we literally just saved you from drowning, you gotta take it easy!" I hear Hunk's voice in my left ear, he's probably just over my right shoulder, "You really oughta not be running around, waving sharp things, and talking about... what, beheading snakes? You're making no sense right now." Hunk says worriedly, and I can feel the other's gaze worm under my skin.  _ They don't understand. _

I struggle not to shake, “S-Sendak.  _ W-with Sendak _ .” 

_ I can't fucking speak. I can't spit out what I mean, they just have to fucking trust me.  _ I’m walking as fast as I can into the detainment chamber and soundlessly I feel their footsteps echo behind me as they catch up.  _ Shiro's in trouble. Shiro's in trouble. It may already be too late. At least they've stopped trying to stop me. God, I hope we're not too late. _

I burst into the room headfirst with Keith's bayard tightening at hand, and immediately my vision tunnels when I see Shiro. He's kneeling in front of a cryo-pod,  _ Sendak's  _ cryo-pod, his head in his hands. I immediately surge forward with all of my energy, my breath coming in ragged breaths and I notice then that the bright blue light from the cryo-pod Sendak was using is gone. 

Nothing is there… Sendak's pod is completely gone.

"Shiro, are you okay?" Pidge calls as we enter the room but Shiro doesn't answer, he's unmoving from his place on the ground with his head in his hands.

Keith frowns as he looks at the empty space where the cryo-pod used to be, "... Where's Sendak?"

Fear spikes in my chest, and I can't help but look over my shoulder with fresh eyes. The shadows seem to elongate, every nook, every cranny has a red and yellow pair of eyes, glaring down-

"I... I had to get him out of here." 

Something about his voice brings me out of the burning, freezing rage that holds me, and I look back at Shiro with a fresh gaze. I see the passing terror fleeting in his eyes, the rapid breath that's faster than normal, and I see now that both of his hands weren't clasping his head; one was, but his other hand, his prosthetic, is resting over a red and angry button flashing next to the pod, flashing the words  _ 'EJECTION SUCCESSFUL' _ .

_ He needed to get him out of here.  _

_ He's not here. We're safe.  _

I drop Keith's bayard, the sword clamoring to the floor as my breath leaves in a rugged gasp. I practically collapse on my knees next to Shiro and grasp his shoulder, water immediately soaking into his shirt. For a fleeting moment I realize that feeling cold water in a moment of terror may not be welcomed, but Shiro's gaze sharpens as soon as my hand rests on his shoulder. I recognize that look, I've seen it in myself, that moment of awakening and being ripped out of your own head. Shiro's breath is still incredibly rapid, terrified, and he stammers with wide eyes in such a scared tone that I almost don't recognize it to be Shiro's, "I-I was hearing his voice, he… He can't be trusted on the ship!" I let out a short breath, remembering the voices, the images after I blacked out; I heard a voice, I  _ heard  _ Sendak talking to him.  _ ‘They don't know what you know, they haven't seen what you've seen.’  _

_ Did that actually happen, then? _

Shiro is shaking, hard, and instead of resting my hand on his shoulder I wrap my arms around his torso and hug him tightly. He doesn't move to hug me back, and I notice then that we're both trembling, hard. I can't tell anymore if I'm shaking out of fear, anger, or cold, but all that matters is he's safe.  _ He's safe. It's okay, we're in this together _ .  _ I’m never leaving you again.  _ His trembling seems to ease the tighter I hold him, and his breath seems to calm, at least, it's still rapid, but less erratic. __

"It is the ship!" Lance's voice is jarring in the open space, his tone splitting my skull with a pounding thud as he barks, "I got stuck in a cryo-pod, then I almost got sucked out the airlock! Keith almost got stabbed by a robot, Hunk and Pidge got attacked by food, and Will got locked in the showers!" Shiro's prosthetic arm rests on my back, his breath returning to normal slowly but surely as Lance huffs, "It's been a  _ weird  _ afternoon!"

I shiver uncontrollably and slowly pull away from Shiro with a concerned gaze glued to his expression. His breath is regular now and he's no longer shaking, but his eyes are flown wide, and he's so unbelievably tense that he looks like a dog caged for too long, I'm absolutely shaken by how terrified he looks. I've never seen Shiro so scared before, not even close, but… If what I saw…  _ ‘You think that a monster like you could ever be a Voltron Paladin?’ _

All of a sudden, the hallway flashes red as angry sirens blare in the hall, so loud that I want to cover my ears. Coran, who stands just a few feet away, pulls up a hologram from his wrist, revealing a clear image of the Castle of Lions, doing… something…  _ I think I'm in shock. This looks simple, but it feels complex. God, I need to snap out of it until we can figure out what's going on.   _

"What? How is that possible?" Coran gasps with wide eyes.

Keith turns to him, and I flinch when I realize that he's standing behind Shiro, behind me, with a hand on Shiro's shoulder. He frowns deeply as he asks in a commanding tone, "What is it?"

Coran's eyes are wide and his mustache seems to bristle like that of a cat's tail, "The ship is starting a wormhole jump!"

_ Lance had said he got stuck in a pod... Keith got attacked by a robot... Hunk and Pidge by food... Who are we missing? _

_ … Where's Allura? _

"We need to get to the bridge!" Shiro states firmly, this new purpose bringing him out of his own mind and causing him to rush onward, out of my grasp. He stands upright and darts towards the door at such a fast pace I can barely follow. I can feel that I’m shaking badly from the cold but I find the strength to race after him, I think the only thing keeping me going is the pure adrenaline being pumped into my veins, but even despite that I feel a dull pain shooting up my legs as my feet hit the floor, they're still numb and everything hurts more when you're numb. I feel Keith's jacket, my only source of warmth, shift on my shoulders, so twist my arms into the sleeves and pull it fully on. Despite the pain shooting up from my feet, the running and his jacket are slowly helping to restore the feeling in my bones and restore some peace and sanity to my mind.  _ I need to apologize to Keith, once we're done here. I was… that was strange. That rage… I couldn't speak. I still don't know if I'm capable of speaking yet, my mouth feels like it's composed entirely of cotton. Is this hypothermia? It’s fucking weird is what it is. I need to apologize for… all that. Not now. Later. Now: Allura. _

We all run together into the command center, and when the doors open I see the windows in a blue, swirling blur, like in a hyper jump from Universe of Stars. That's usual for when we enter wormholes, I suspect, but I’ve always had my eyes closed when we did it in the past because of the jostling, but I suppose in the Castle that is greatly reduced because of its size. Allura stands in the middle, her back to us as she stands in her circle; she appears to be in a long sleeping gown, a soft blue blanket draped across her shoulders and her hands rested on the pillars that allow her to assume command of the ship.

"Allura, what's going on?" Shiro demands as we enter, his eyebrows furrowed as the door slam shut behind us.

Allura turns to us with a dreamy look. Her eyes are far away, and her voice is just as far as she smiles in a gentle way, "We're going to Altea… We're going home! My father is taking us."

Shiro growls under his breath and runs forward towards her when all of a sudden, massive holographic screens pop up all around the room. A terrifyingly furious face of an Altean man I have never seen before flares by the thousands, practically blinding us as we stumble back, the bridge echoing as he roars,  _ "Stay away from my daughter!" _

The Altean mean has long white hair and a white beard with Allura's nose and eyes. He has the same pink marks under his cheeks, and he appears to have gold and white armor, like a knight's. A cylindrical particle barrier erects itself around Allura as the holograms fade, encompassing her circle, like how Keith and Allura had trapped Sendak in the circle just days ago.  _ We're locked out. _

"Uh..." Hunk whimpers in fear as he steps back to stand beside me, Shiro immediately racing forward and pounds his fists against the particle barrier, "Allura, wake up!"

Coran lets out a rush of terrified air as he grabs Shiro's shoulder, "The crystal must have corrupted King Alfor's artificial intelligence! It's taking over!" A holographic image of the Altean man appears within the cylinder particle barrier, like he's a real being of flesh and blood, and the Castle shudders as it completes the wormhole jump.

The front glass of the ship is entirely enveloped in a brilliant scarlet light, pulsing and flaring with energy and heat I can practically feel just from looking at it. It's… a sun. We're flying towards a sun. A new sense of cold washes over me as Pidge cries, "We're headed straight for a star! I think it's about to explode!" Pidge's eyes widen to the size of moons that reflect the crimson light of the sun, and I'm crushed with helplessness.  _ I lived to survive the shower, but now all of us might die by flying into a fucking sun.  _

Allura doesn't seem to hear any of this, her back turned to us as she murmurs dreamily, "Father, I can see Altea!"

Coran pounds his fist on the particle barrier, crying out, "Allura! Allura, wake up! What you're seeing isn't real!" Shiro joins him in banging on the particle barrier, but it doesn't seem to be doing much good. From behind me, Keith turns and races over to his seat, but as he taps the holographic panel on the side a jolt of violet electricity leaps out at him like a lashing cobra. I step closer and grab at the back of his shirt and tug him away, and as he stumbles back he shoots me a glare over his shoulder but it fades when he sees the panel crackling with the purple electricity. I release his shirt quickly as I peer at the seat, my mind whirling a mile a minute.  _ We can't get to our panels so we can't manually override… Fuck, we might be screwed unless we can get Allura out of her own head. _

Allura blinks over her shoulder, but her gaze is following something we can't see. She holds her hand out with a soft laugh, like she's caressing the wings of a friendly bird, before something else captures her attention. She kneels down and reaches to the ground, as if grabbing something, "Juniberries!" She murmurs happily.  _ Oh my god, she's delirious.  _

_ Everyone and everything in the Castle's gone crazy. _

"Allura please, you've got to listen to me!" Coran cries as Shiro continues to bang his fists on the particle barrier with heavy thumps. I look around furiously, wondering if there's anything to be done as Allura turns back, her eyes wide as she looks past us, in her own world as she murmurs, "Is this real?"

King Alfor looks at Allura with soft eyes, "Of course it is real, daughter. That flower you are holding  _ is _  real."

Coran grits his teeth in frustration, and with a snap of his fingers he cries, "But then where is the fragrance of the sweet juniberries?" 

Allura blinks, raising an eyebrow as she leans and sniffs her empty hand. Her eyes fly open with a sudden gasp to the glaring scarlet sun that envelopes the entirety of the glass at the front of the bridge. For a long, awful moment she is silent before she whispers, in horror, "That's…  _ not  _ Altea."

Pidge shouts in a flurry of terrified words, "When that star goes supernova, it will destroy the entire system! Allura, you gotta reset the course and get us out of here!"

Allura’s back; she immediately whirls around and plants her hands on the controls, but as soon as her hands touch the pillars violet lightning arcs out and envelops her. She cries out in pain and stumbles back, falling out of the particle barrier as the image of King Alfor flickers and reappears standing in her place, his hands now resting on the controls. Shiro catches Allura just before she falls, but she rights herself so quickly that it looks like she merely bounced out of Shiro's arms as she races forward, pressing her hands against the particle barrier with a desperate tone, "Father, please, I beg you to turn this ship around! If we don't do it soon, then we will all perish!"

King Alfor speaks in a monotonous tone that almost sounds kind if it weren't for the chill of his words, "I know. That is my intention."

Allura blinks at him, and the bridge is horribly quiet for a moment before she blurts, "What? Why?!"

"Don't you see, dear daughter? Zarkon can never be defeated." King Alfor speaks in a sickeningly sweet way, turning his gaze to face us with cold, blue eyes, his hologram zapping in and out of focus like there's a bad connection, "He's been ruling for a thousand years."

Allura's eyes are wide and shining with desperate tears, "But we must continue to fight!"

"Fight? For what?" King Alfor turns to Allura with a deep frown, "It is all over for Altea! You don't  _ have _  to live a lifetime of war! You can be with me, and the rest of your people now, Allura." I shudder in horror, taking a step back as I cling Keith's jacket tighter around me.  _ What a horribly dark thing to say. _

"Father, please! The paladins and I can still stop Zarkon!" Allura cries pleadingly, her hands clasped into fists. "Somewhere in there, you must want that to happen!" I want to say something. I want to tell Allura to block him out, that she doesn't have to convince him because this is not her real father, this is just a hologram... but I don't know if that's true. I have never met King Alfor before today, I didn't even remember his essence was in the ship, but now I recall how Allura and Coran had went to speak with him on that first day. He must've been such a focal point of guidance for them… 

_ No wonder she's pleading. It is her father, in a deeper respect; it’s his soul. _

Suddenly, King Alfor's image flickers, caught reflecting two different figures. They're the same person, each one is King Alfor, but one is radically different from the other. One is hunched over, as if in pain, and the other stands tall and upright and kingly. The hunched version snaps his head up with wide eyes barking in desperation, "Allura, my AI has been corrupted! You must disconnect my power sour-" Suddenly the tall standing figure appears, interrupting the first with the same soft, tender, silencing tone, "-can stroll across the Blossom Canyon, every morning, just like we used to." As he speaks the other King Alfor's image flickers in and out, but this one seems to maintain power over him as its voice floods the room, "Remember how much you loved that?"

Allura looks down, her eyebrows drawn together into a conflicted tone as she swallows dryly. "I remember." She closes her eyes before she looks up to meet the hologram's gaze, "I'll see you soon, Father." She states this with a soft yet firm voice, her shoulders curled inward as she suddenly whirls around to face us, her voice so small that I can barely hear her, "... I've got to get into the AI chamber to disconnect my father's source manually." 

"But.. Allura..." I blink in shock at Coran as his voice trembles, strangled with emotion. As I peer at him, I see the shine in his eyes, the tremble in his narrow jawline as he murmurs, "You know that means we… you'll lose King Alfor forever." He speaks in a soft tone, tender and raw. I'd never seen this side of Coran, if I didn't watch the words spill from beneath that ridiculous mustache I don't think I would've believed it was him. 

Allura merely grits her jaw as she seals her eyes shut, and I see the tremble that resonates through her being like she's struggling not to break out of her own skin. "Paladins," She murmurs, her eyes flying open with a hard, sharp tone, "Get to your lions. I need you to slow the Castle's descent into the star." She states fiercely, I see her eyes shining with barely restrained tears. 

"I'll try to override the system to open the hangers!" Coran's voice is shaky as he races to the front of the ship and Allura bursts past us at a dead sprint. We glance at one another with wide eyes before we race after, running as fast as we can to our lions. We don't take the elevators, because we definitely don't trust the elevator system to take us there with the Castle being set to work against us. 

I've stopped shivering by the time we arrive to the hanger, running to our individual lions.

I race to Silver as her barrier falls, opening her maw and allowing me inside. I run up the stairs and into the pilot's chamber and engage the controls, just as the hanger doors spring open.  _ Yes, Coran!  _

I launch out before they can close, the lion's system immediately flashing in warning me of the heat of the approaching star with racing white symbols along the sides of the cabin.  _ Yeah, thanks, I know. _  I watch as the others race out of their hangers in junction with mine, and we reconvene at the front of the Castle of Lions.

I race forward and engage all of the White Lion's thrusters into pushing against the Castle. I press against the controls, engaging every thruster to full capacity as I can almost feel the heat of the star seeming to roll into the chamber and intensify the situation.  _ Yep, I am officially no longer cold. Come on, Allura! _

The minutes are long, agonizing and scary, pressing against the Castle with all of my lion's might but I can feel we're still getting pushed back towards the star. After what feels like hours Allura's voice calls over the com, "Paladins, get to your hangers. We're getting out of here." She sounds… tired. I let out a breath, relieved as I disengage my lion with the others to return to the hanger, but the relief is almost immediately replaced with heavy guilt at what that relief had cost.

I pull on Keith's jacket as I return to my hanger, the Castle of Lion's systems flickering in warning of the impending wormhole jump, and slowly I leave my lion and reconvene in the central hanger.

I walk with the others in silence as we return to the bridge. I'm pretty sure we're all in such shock and stunned at everything that occurred that we aren't able to properly digest it yet.  _ That look on Allura's face, the tone of Coran's voice… Downloading the consciousness of King Alfor was a comfort to them, no doubt about that, but I didn't realize how much when I was faced with their reaction to his disconnection. It must feel like permanent death to them, to never be able to speak to him again. They had to watch him die all over again, but this time they were the ones who pulled the plug. Literally. _

We walk together, in silence, into the command center. Allura is sitting on the white center circle with her feet dangling over the edge towards the front of the bow, her head in her hands with Coran sitting beside her, a hand on her back with a deeply saddened expression. As we make our way over, Shiro immediately sits down next to Allura and rests a hand above Coran's in between her shoulder blades.  _ Classic Shiro, the first thing he'll do is comfort, going into Dad mode. _  I pull Keith's jacket around me tighter as the chill seems to return to my bones and I shiver.

Allura's eyes are distant, and she appears suddenly very young in that moment, small, and sad, and my heart aches. I never considered it before, but I wonder then at just how old Allura is. She has a timeless beauty for sure, but right now she just looks like a young girl, a sad young girl who just lost her father, especially with her hair braided to the side as it is.  _ She's had to bear with so much... and I've done nothing to help. She was alone, all day, while this shit was going down while I’ve been thinking about nothing but myself. I’ve done nothing but think about myself, and it hurt almost everyone around me because of it. _

Shiro is the first to find the courage to break the silence as we stand quietly, clustered around Allura and Coran, "I'm so sorry about your father, Princess."

Hunk nods in agreement as he chimes in with a gentle tone, "We all are." Both Lance and Pidge meet Allura's listless gaze, and I notice Keith has his eyes closed and his arms crossed. I feel a shiver running up my spine as grief seizes my chest. Coran doesn't move, doesn't even blink, he merely stares at a space on the floor with a glazed expression.

Allura's eyes slowly rise up and meets ours, and a surprising, soft smile appears on her lips, “Thank you…” Her gaze hardens into familiar, fiery determination as she continues, "But that was not my father."

To all of our surprise, she stands up. Both Coran and Shiro's hands fall to their sides as their gazes rise to watch her as her eyes meet each and every one of ours, "The real King Alfor was a great man, and a great father." Her voice trembles a little, but she grits her jaw and continues with a confident tenor, "He may not be here with us anymore, but his dream lives on through all of us. His legacy is Voltron, and he wants us to keep fighting to honor him." She states these words with finality, her gaze on the starry skies before us, and I feel a stirring of hope in my chest.  _ She has borne so much on her shoulders… but I don't think that that would've happened if she couldn't handle it. She's so strong and selfless… Challenges are only given to those who can, and will, accept them. _

I lick my lips and swallow the dryness in my throat, and I step towards her without thinking, "Hey, Allura?" My voice is rough, unpracticed, and I realize it's because I haven't spoken since my mouth failed me when we went searching for Shiro. Allura turns to look at me with a surprised expression, and I find myself breaking into a gentle smile, "I think now is an excellent time for a group hug."

She blinks at me with a dumbfounded expression as I step forward and hold out my arms to her with a raised eyebrow, asking for consent. She regards me with a stunned expression, examining my features with her hands pressed against her heart before she steps forward tentatively, resting her head on my shoulder and shuffling into my arms. I immediately embrace her, engulfing her with as much warmth as my cold and damp self can muster, and Shiro immediately joins in, wrapping his arms around us both. After a few moments, I feel more arms pressing in around me to envelope Allura in one big group hug, and I can feel our conjoined pulses beating in unison.  _ Group hugs are nice. We should've done this far sooner. _

Hunk squeezes from the outside, and everyone within the hug groans in varying degrees as he sniffles, "I feel so much better than I should be after being attacked by food right now!"

"I don't even have G-Force to blame this time." Keith jokes quietly from behind Shiro, and immediately we let out hearty, deep bellied laughter. It's laughter that's too hard for Keith and Hunk's interaction, but it's laughter of relief: relief to be alive, relieved to be here together.

We break away after a few comfortable minutes and I see Allura's eyes are shining, yet a smile radiates from deep within her. She slowly turns to me with this gentle expression gripped with emotion, my heart leaps into my throat, "Thank you. Thank you all. I… I think that it is time that we rest now." With a deep breath, Allura closes her eyes, and when she opens them she transforms from a small girl to a powerful leader as she commands, “Tomorrow, we shall dive into Sendak's memories and discover what information he has to offer, but…” She pauses, flickering her gaze to each of us in our cluster around her, "I think we've earned a moment's rest. After all, you can’t push too hard."

Hunk cries enthusiastically in response, "Seconded! I think I’m gonna go make sure that the food is no longer trying to kill us." He turns to walk out of the bridge with a spring in his step, barely an excuse needed to return to business as usual.

"Oh, I'm in on that, I'm starving!" Lance grins, and moves to follow after him as Pidge runs to catch up to them, "Me too! Gotta make sure we don't get attacked this time!"

Coran and Allura move together towards an ulterior exit on the side of the room and Shiro turns to follow them, speaking lowly in tones I can't hear with a hand on both of their shoulders. I spot Keith leaving the room with a silent tread, heading down an empty hallway with his hands shoved in his jean pockets which is weird to see, considering usually he shoves them in his jacket pockets. I glance down at my chest, at the ugly jacket that envelops me in warmth, and after long moments of hesitation I slowly race to catch up to him in the hall. "Hey, Keith?"

He pauses, turning back to look at me with a raised eyebrow. I pause just before him, my hands stalling in the air before I grab the front of his jacket and tug it off my shoulders. Keith watches with a confused look, and although I immediately miss the surprising warmth his jacket provided, I hold it out to him with a determined set in my jaw, "Thanks for your jacket… Sorry I got it a little wet."

Keith blinks at me in surprise, and slowly he takes it from me with a slightly perplexed expression. I rub the back of my neck, biting my lip and speaking before I can think, "And… sorry about earlier. Taking your bayard like that. I was just… freaked out, and scared for Shiro. But it wasn't okay for me to do that, to say those things, and… Shit, I sound like I'm making excuses, ignore all of that, I'm just sorry. I'm sorry."

Keith peers down at his jacket in his hands with a strange expression, one I'd describe as conflicted and he murmurs in reply, "It's alright, I get it." I let out an immediate sigh of relief but my throat catches as he adds, “But…” He hesitates for a moment as his gaze flickers from his jacket in his hands, and I'm practically holding my breath in anticipation as he continues slowly, like he's tasting the words, "How did you know that Shiro was still in the detainment room? With Sendak?" 

_ That's an excellent question.  _

I shudder, closing my eyes a little as I wrap my arms around myself. My clothes are still cold and damp, and now, without Keith's ugly ass jacket, they seem to be sapping the minimal heat I'd managed to acquire and leave me freezing all over again, "I don't know. It's hard to explain." I murmur, my gaze falling to the floor. I want to say that I'd just assumed, since that's where I saw him last, but I know that's not true. I felt Sendak's gold eye glaring down at Shiro in the darkness, Shiro clasping his head and the pure terror in his eyes as Sendak hissed like a demon. 

"I blacked out, I think." I murmur, speaking slowly so I can enunciate on my words, "When the water got too high and I couldn't breathe anymore, I… saw things." I risk glancing up and meeting Keith's confused gaze, and after a moment I let out a hard sigh, throwing my hands in the air, “I don't know. I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I  _ heard _  Sendak's voice, speaking to Shiro, saying these awful things…” I bite my lip and shake my head of the memory, and I find my gaze turning back over my shoulder and towards the bridge. _  I need to check in with him... but Shiro's probably already long gone. _

Keith's voice brings me back to the here and now, gentle and warm, "I'm just glad that you're okay." I blink and turn to face him with wide eyes, his blue-violet gaze flickering from his jacket in his hands before he meets mine again, “You had us scared there for a few seconds when you…” He hesitates, chewing on his lip with his eyebrows drawing together and I swear to God my heart skips a beat. __

_ Can I stop being gay… for two fucking minutes. _

I clear my throat, "Heh, what can I say, I like to scare you with a copious amount of near death experiences, keep you on your toes. And lucky for me you came along when you did." I release the awkward tension that only I can probably feel as I quickly alter the subject, "How did you find me, anyway?" I ask, running my hands through my now-drying hair and tilting my head at Keith with a raised eyebrow.  _ My hair must be sticking up at the worst angles right now, I don't even wanna think about it. I think I can get a pass on horrible hair, though, as these waves are already hard to maintain, but I also almost fucking  _ **_died._ **

_ Oh, wow. I almost died.  _

_ Let's not dwell on  _ **_that_ ** _ too much.  _

Keith mirrors my expression and after a moment he merely shrugs, "We heard you calling for help."

"Oh." I blink, laughing awkwardly as I worm my fingers into the hem of my freezing, damp shirt.  _ I don't really know what I expected. That was a dumb question. _  "I guess that'll do it, huh?" 

We watch one another for several long, uncomfortable, awkward moments before I'm able to recover my wits, and I glance down at my feet as I mumble, “I think I'm going to find some warm… maybe dry clothes…” I turn my back to him to make my escape, _  before I embarrass myself further…  _

“Wait, Will, um…” I pause, blinking as I glance over my shoulder and raise an eyebrow at Keith. His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks conflicted, like he's having a conversation with himself in his head, and after a long moment he holds out his jacket with a stiff arm, “You can keep borrowing it, if you want. 'Cause, you know, because you… you're cold, and almost drowned… You're still probably cold and…” 

_ Is he.. _

_ Is he offering me his jacket? _

_ Fuuuuck I need to get out of here before I read too much into this. _

"Ah, no that's okay, it's your jacket, you should keep it!" I laugh uncomfortably, but before I can argue further Keith steps forward and presses it into my hands with a resolute, yet ultimately unreadable expression. I blink down at the pile of red, white, and yellow, the course material rough in my hands, before I find the courage to look at him with wide, perplexed eyes. 

"You were… you're cold, right?" Keith asks with a raised eyebrow, his eyes glimmering in the white overhead lighting, as...  _ Is he blushing?  _

_ What the fuck kind of straight- _

_ Oh fuck, I can't just argue with him. I said no, but he's insisting. It would just be rude to turn him down again at this point, or worse, suspicious.  _ "Yeah, uh... sure." I stammer, and slowly Keith releases his hold on the jacket and peers at me with I  _ think  _ an expectant gaze. I bite my lip and pull the jacket back on, Keith watching the movement without a change in expression, and after a moment I find myself offering him a genuine smile, "That's… really sweet of you. Thanks." My voice is soft, tender, and almost immediately my inner bells ring loudly in my head;  _ Oh fuck, that was too gay to say, Fuck! Abort, Backtrack, backtrack!! _  "But not in a weird way!" I blurt out quickly, and I can feel my smile grow sheepish and awkward, "Just, you know, sweet, in a totally normal fashion. Like any friend would. Super kind." I bite my lip as Keith looks at me with utter confusion.  _ Fuck. Time to leave. _  "Erm. Yeah. Thank you." I nod deftly, pulling his jacket around me tightly as I turn and walk as fast as is socially acceptable from the situation, and I don't stop until the doors of my room slide shut. 

I collapse against the frame, burying my face into my arm and groaning into the rough material as loudly as I wish, as the jacket sleeve muffles the sound to a low hum. Slowly I bang the top of my head against the wall with rhythmic thumps.  _ Stop. Being. So. Fucking. Gay. You. Hopeless. Gay. Disaster. _

I sit there for a moment, basking in the new warmth from his jacket before I finally get the motivation to finally get out of these awful wet clothes. I pull Keith's jacket off of my shoulders and toss it onto my bed, and I peel out of my wet clothes, laying them out to dry on top of my dresser and then rifling through my drawers for fresh clothes. The longer I stand the dryer I become, my fingers are crinkly, like when you're in the pool for too long, and I feel my hair has dried into awkward curls on the side of my head as I rifle through the drawers for something warm. There are boxers of various shades of white and gray, or, at least, I think they're boxers; they're too short to be shorts, and they have that little button in the front to whip your dick out to use the restroom, so I can only assume that's what they are. There are these large pants at the bottom of the second drawer, they're the same material as what I'd expect from a  sweater, but they're rather large, hanging low on my hips when I pull them on, but I couldn't care less; they're warm, they're soft, I think they're supposed to be pajama pants. I rifle through the sock drawer, where there are a variety of thick socks, warm socks, thin socks, low socks, high socks, and eventually I find a pair of fuzzy socks with gray and white stripes. I tug them on as quickly as possible, and as soon as I do the warmth returns some semblance of feeling to my toes. I go to the next drawer to find a warm shirt and eventually I come across a dark gray sweater-like thing. It's incredibly warm, like a high quality Christmas sweater, yet it's cut in a strange manner. It's too short, about as short as Keith's jacket, as the hem falls to just beneath my rib cage and just above my navel. The neck is really stretched out, I'm able to stick a shoulder out to the side but I can tell that this isn't supposed to be an off the shoulder sweater, but frankly, as soon as it's on, I don't want to take it off. I’m radiating warmth, an invigorating, comforting hug around my person, and without hesitation I collapse into bed, curling into a ball and bundling the sheets and blankets around me like a cocoon. Never have the sheets felt so warm and comfortable as I lay there, warming up with my eyes closed.

I feel myself growing sleepy as hell, I mean, I have had a  _ long  _ day. I roll over to my side to tap the holographic panel to turn off the lights when I spot Keith's jacket. It had fallen to the floor when I got into bed just under me, and before I can think about my actions I reach out and grab it, pulling it to bed with me as I turn off the light. I shimmy my arms into the sleeves with the back of the jacket in front, and I bury my face into the course material as I close my eyes.  

The scent is… warm. At first it's salt, but not quite like the salt of the sea. It's a kind of grittier salt, unrefined and course. Then, beneath the salt, is leather, soft, old, worked and supple leather, the kind that has seen much and done even more. I never really paid much attention to how Keith smelled, but this is definitely it. It has this essence of familiarity, but now that I'm this close to it I can easily identify the specific pieces that encompass… him. 

_ I'm... I have Keith's jacket. He gave me his jacket.  _

_ That's pretty gay.  _  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---
> 
> ** WOW that was way angstier than I thought I was going with it but we're here now! its 3:25 am and I am shaking I have to pee so bad but I couldn't get up til I got this shit down, this fucking chapter practically wrote itself it only took me about 5 hours to write. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it, and if you have constructive criticism please let me know! My favorite part is I'm 90% sure I wrote it in the correct tense this time.**


	14. Memories of Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over the past two weeks, a lot has happened to Will. He woke up on Monday morning worrying about his Calculus homework, and by the end of that same day he was the White Paladin of Voltron. One week later, they've formed Voltron and they've all sorts of crazy shit, and now almost two weeks later Will has been a tortured prisoner of war, liberator of an alien species, and now survivor of a sentient Castle, aka even more crazy shit. He's been through a lot, and its times like these that he really wonders what could've been if he never left school to find the Blue Lion's cave in the desert.

I enjoy spending time alone. I have seldom got the chance since we got to Arus, and the precious few hours I have are racked in worry and self reflection that I could really do without, but it always catches up to me eventually. How I'd deal with my obnoxious, incessant thoughts back on Earth was play my keyboard, my guitar, make some sort of music. But, with lack of a better option, I'd walk, and hyperfixate on my surrounds. I get so wrapped up in my own head that I can't see reality from anxiety, so I walk to clear my head and remind me of this line I keep forgetting isn't always dubious.

I wake up after an hour long nap, a little bit too hot with all my layers, but after being so cold I don't mind it as much. I sit up and rub my eyes as something slides off my bed with a soft  _ thwum _ . I peer over the edge and spot the red and white and yellow pile on the floor, a horribly offensive and grotesque jacket. Immediately it all comes back to me in a big wave.  _ I almost died. Keith gave me his jacket. We  _ **_all_ ** _ almost died getting thrown into a fucking sun. Shiro had a panic attack and launched Sendak into empty space to get him out of the Castle. Fuck,  _ **_Shiro._ **

The last time I've ever gotten out of bed so fast was when I woke up and realized that I had my AP Literature exam in ten minutes. I don't even bother putting on shoes, I just slide out into the hall in my fuzzy socks to go searching for him. 

After turning corners wildly for a while, ducking into Shiro's empty room, looking into the training deck, the Black Lion's hanger, I realize rushing around isn't going to do me any good. He’s in the Castle, and I’ll find him eventually, but racing towards him like I am now isn’t going to instill him with any kind of calm. I slow down to take a breath, padding down the corridor with muffled steps as I recollect myself. I feel the cold in the walls that soak into my fingertips when they brush the sides, the cool tile of the floor and soft, muffled sound of my socked feet as I walk. With Shiro on the forefront of my mind I continue on but with the worry seeping away anxiety immediately taking its place secondary to it. I've had a lot of time spent alone, so I've had plenty of time to find ways to occupy myself and deal with my anxious thoughts. I suppose it's technically anxiety, that's what my therapist calls it, I honestly consider myself to be more of a pensive person; I think a lot, I contemplate, but I don't think I worry myself about it. I just… like to think, and be specific about what I'm thinking about. I've found that being hyper-aware of my surroundings helps to ground me when my thoughts get too out of control, getting too wrapped up in the  _ but what if's,  _ which is why taking walks has always been a good method for me to feel better, regardless of whether I'm sad, lonely, depressed, anxious, high strung; it's a good band-aid. It helps more when I'm in nature, especially in the mountains or by the ocean.

Back in Virginia, I would wander the forests around our little cabin in the woods. There were these two trees in our backyard that bent into each other into a pass small enough for me to get through, and I used to pretend that it was a portal to another world, with dragons and knights and magic. I think the reason why being in nature was better for me mentally is because becoming extremely aware of my surroundings is the most helpful grounding technique when they are things to fixate on, like the chirp of birds or tree branches rustling, or the crashing din of the ocean. The sea is constantly pounding the sand, an ever present white noise, and I think that's why I liked it so much because it's so much easier to get lost in the present there rather than in the forest or the mountains. On the ship, though, it's so quiet. All I have to fixate on is what I can feel and what I can smell, which isn't much. It’s all so… empty. That emptiness can feel so compressing, like I’m just a pill floating in cotton.

I turn a corner down a new hallway, getting lost in thoughts of home, and ahead I spy a familiar form clad in black, heavy boots trudging down the hall with loud thunks and a hung head. My breath hitches,  _ I knew I just needed to slow down, thank fuck, I found him.  _

"Shiro!" I call, and he pauses as I lengthen my stride to catch up to him. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow, otherwise hiding any sort of emotion as he pauses in the hall so I can walk astride with him, "Hey Will, how are you feeling?" He asks, his voice as level and collected as his stormy gray gaze.  _ After seeing the panic earlier, I have a hard time believing that he’s truly as relaxed as he appears to be. _

"Less cold, less wet, all in all, better." I answer with a slight grin, shrugging a little as I shove my hands in my pockets to mirror Shiro's posture, "Are you okay? You seemed.. really anxious earlier." I cautiously meet Shiro's eyes. Immediately they slide away from me to fix on the floor beneath our feet as we walk together down the hallway. I frown a little, speaking in a softer tone, "... I just wanna make sure you're alright."

Shiro brushes me off with a shrug, continuing his path to walk down the hallway with a slightly forced smile, "Thanks, Will, but you don't need to worry about me, I'll be fine." I can't help but frown.  _ Oh yeah, sure you are. I don't believe that for a goddamn second.  _

_ But... maybe... maybe I didn't actually hear Sendak at all. Or maybe I did? I'm not quite sure how I did, that entire fucking situation following nearly drowning is an absolute mystery to me, I wasn’t feeling like myself, but after nearly dying I think I can get a pass. But if it's true...  _

"I heard Sendak." I blurt.

Shiro abruptly stops in the hall, a literal slam on the breaks. I pause beside him and regard him with a gentle, worried expression as his gaze snaps onto something far away, the opposite of focusing on the present moment. Slowly, he turns to me, his expression distracted like he's watching a movie before finally his eyes fall on mine, "... You did?"

_ So it did happen. I’m not just crazy. _

I nod, reflecting on the moment as I try to remember what exactly I heard. I can't help shivering just in thinking about the cold water, "When I got caught in the shower I… lost consciousness." I find my voice growing softer when I realize the hallway’s grand expanse causes our voices to echo, “Just before Keith and Pidge brought me to, I heard him speaking to you. I… it was like a bad dream that I had to watch, but I couldn't move and couldn't speak. He said horrible things…” 

I see Shiro's jaw tense and his Adam's apple bob as he swallows, and I quickly reach out a hand and touch his shoulder, "Untrue things. Things meant to wound and frighten." I furrow my eyebrows, and with my hand on Shiro's shoulder I realize that I'm trembling. No, not trembling… shivering. _  I doubt I'll stop feeling cold, even if I wore thirteen sweaters. _

Shiro watches me with a surprised and vulnerable gaze, and I see his internal gears turning. "What did he say?" He asks quietly, his eyes meeting mine and betraying the worry within.  _ He wants to see if our information lines up… or see how much I know.  _

"He talked about how ‘we don't know what you know, or saw what you saw’. All that bullshit about how Zarkon can't be beaten." Shiro pales a little, and I grasp onto his forearm to bring his attention back to me, "But _  it is _  bullshit, Shiro. I don't believe a word of it, even if I did see what you saw or whatever the fuck he was talking about. No one is invincible, and Zarkon is no exception." Shiro's gaze grows in and out of focus as he peers at me, his eyebrows furrowed in an unreadable manner. I’m unsure of whether or not that’s a bad thing.  _ Should I have said anything at all? Am I making this worse by making him relive it?  _

I press on, biting my lip as I squeeze his arm to keep his attention grounded, "His virus was probably meant not only to incapacitate us, but also to shake our will if we somehow took him out, to shake our resolve from within the system." I slide my hand to Shiro's shoulder, where his prosthetic meets his collarbone as I speak with a hard edge, "Mind games like that, I'm not surprised he's been able to rule for a thousand years. That's how fascists hold and maintain power, you know, by weakening the basis that they can ever be overthrown."

Shiro looks down at his feet with furrowed eyebrows. He’s quiet for a long time as his prosthetic hand slowly grasps the edge of my elbow, almost as an afterthought before he meets my gaze, "You don't think there was any truth behind what he says?" 

At first, I wonder if Shiro legitimately wonders if Zarkon can't be defeated, but looking at his expression I realize that's not what he means.  _ 'Do you really think a monster like you could ever be worthy of being a Voltron Paladin?' _

_ He knows that noise about Zarkon was just noise. What shook him so badly, what’s shaking him now and causing him to fade in and out of this moment, is what Sendak said to him. Using his memories, or lack thereof, against him to shatter his resolve.  _

I pause to think, carefully selecting my words before I speak, "I think everything has some basis in fact. But, I think… Sendak's thing, whatever it was that caused the Castle to go buck wild like that, just picked up on your insecurities and tried to morph them against you to push Zarkon's agenda." I murmur delicately as I meet Shiro's gaze, "And frankly, if that thingy was worth a damn at being effective, of course it would target and go after you." 

Shiro blinks at me, and I see his gaze snap into focus. I grip his shoulder tighter and give him a genuine smile, "I mean, you're our leader. And not just because you're the Black Paladin. If the virus or whatever that thing was got you to waver in your resolve, to turn tail or give up… then we all would've surely followed. You were supposed to be that first domino. But you  _ beat _ it, Shiro. You stayed standing."

Shiro blinks at me with a surprisingly vulnerable expression, his eyes are wide and his shoulders hang low rather than stiff and upright in his militant stance. I think this is the first time I've ever seen him let down his guard like this, at least on purpose. I don't count how we saw him when we found him with Sendak's ejected cryo-pod because Shiro was scared out of his mind; I think that if he wasn't panicked, he wouldn't have been as vulnerable as he was. This is real, this is purposeful, he’s allowing me into this part of himself that’s scared and full of doubt, and I’ll be damned if I’ll abuse the power he’s given me. I squeeze his shoulder affectionately, looking at him with as much genuine sincerity as possible, "I know that this must feel so invasive, for me to know this about you, but I just want you to know, Shiro... You're worthy of being here." 

Shiro frowns. His prosthetic arm releases me and clenches into a fist for a moment as he peers at the floor, and I wonder if I said the wrong thing, if I shouldn’t have reminded him that he’s vulnerable,  _ maybe it wasn’t on purpose, maybe he regrets letting me in.  _ Finally, after several long moments he speaks in a low tone, "I have to be strong. For the team. I'm the leader, I'm…  _ your _  leader." He lets out a deep exhale like he was holding his breath, his voice just above a bare whisper, like he's afraid to be speaking at all, "I hate feeling helpless, but it's even worse when I make myself feel that way." Shiro's gaze is far away, and deeply wounded, and I feel an incredibly sense of honor that Shiro is willing to keep opening himself up to me about this.  _ I have to be careful with my words so he feels safe enough with me to open up again in the future, if need be.  _

"I know you try really hard to put on a good face for us, as the leader, but I just want you to know that it's okay to not be perfect." I speak softly and slide my hand down from his shoulder to grasp his prosthetic hand. His expression doesn't change as I regard at him with a serious tone, "You aren't perfect, but that's fine. No one is, and no one expects that of you, so you shouldn't expect that of yourself."

Shiro pauses and stares at me for a long moment, "It's hard not to expect perfection when the whole universe is depending on us. On me." His eyebrows are furrowed, and his prosthetic hand reaches up and tightens around mine like he wishes to clench the cold metal fingers into fists as he speaks, "My actions could affect thousands of people, thousands of planets. If I don't do the best I can, then it's more than just me that's affected, it's more than just Earth, even." He lets out an exasperated breath, and slowly his gaze which was glued to the floor rises to meet mine, glimmering like quicksilver in the overhead light. It's dimmer now, as it's probably getting into the Castle's designated evening. 

I bite my lip as I look at Shiro with a gentle gaze, "It's a terrible burden, Shiro. I don't envy you. But what I do know is that even if you make a mistake, you'll do everything in your power to make it right." Shiro’s eyes flicker like the flashing of shooting stars across a night sky. My heart surges as I see the pain that lies beyond so I gently lay my other hand on his shoulder, still grasping on tightly to his prosthetic hand, "That's all I can ask of you, that's all anyone can ask of you, right? And that's why none of us will hesitate to follow you, because we know that no matter what, you'll do everything to do what's right. Even if it’s not right the first time." 

Shiro merely stares at me for a long while, and I resolutely meet his gaze. Eye contact has always been hard for me, I'm not sure why, it just feels so… intimate. I know that's not how other people feel, though, so I try to get over myself so I'm not just staring off into space and looking disinterested just because I don't like to meet people's eyes. But right now, I'm realizing that this contact feels just about as intimate as it's always felt for me, because Shiro's allowing me to see this side of him. It doesn't feel out of place, it doesn't scare me; it feels appropriate. 

Shiro slowly lets out a soft breath, breaking the silence like a resounding gong, "I… don't really know what to say, Will. Thank you. I never thought I would tell anyone that before, but… I don't know, you're pretty open, easy to talk to."

_ Alright. I think we’ve both had enough seriousness for the day.  _ I find myself smiling as I slowly relinquish my grip on his hand and shoulder, "Hey, what can I say, it's the ginger appeal." I bump his shoulder with mine in an affectionate manner, "I'll gladly listen to you any time, Shiro."

Shiro lets out a soft breath, almost in relief, and the tension of the silence seems to eradicate to one that's comfortable instead. He juts his thumb in the direction he was heading with an eyebrow raised at me, "I was gonna get something to eat, you wanna come?"

My stomach growls almost on queue,  _ "God, yes."  _

Shiro laughs at me and we walk down the hall together towards the kitchen. Shiro's shoulders have returned to their usual, upright position, his back perfectly straight with his chin high, something that was probably drilled into him at the Garrison. But, despite how stiff such a posture may seem on others, on Shiro it looks… like him. It's relaxed, cool, and confident, and I think that those traits define Shiro perfectly, so even if he wasn't in the Garrison I think he would still have a similar stance simply because it's who he is. 

From outside the kitchen, Shiro and I can hear loud yelling from what sounds like Hunk, Pidge, and Lance, loudly talking about pulling something from an angle, and after a moment Pidge's voice rises loud and distinct, "McClain, get your  _ grubby hands _  off my  _ fucking hose  _ or I swear to-" 

Shiro breaks into a wide grin at the shouting coming from within and opens the door loud enough to announce our presence, cutting Pidge off mid-threat. The trio are gathered around one of the hoses that dole out the goo off to the side, and as we walk in they appear to have finished undoing what looked like a knot tied into the base of the nozzle. I vaguely remember Lance mentioning Hunk getting attacked by food earlier, that knot must've been his solution.  _ Poor Hunk. He genuinely loves food so much, that must have been emotionally scarring.  _

"I got it! Finally!" Hunk cries in victory as he releases the hose, not realizing that Lance and Pidge have gone quiet as they peer at Shiro and I like cats caught in cream. Hunk blinks when his friends are silent just before he notices Shiro and I, and when he meets our eyes he immediately grins, waving a hand happily, "Oh, hey guys!"

"Everything alright in here?" Shiro asks with a raised eyebrow as he grabs a bowl from within one of the cabinets in the wall, handing one to me. I take it from him gratefully as Lance and Pidge lean against the counter in the center to get out of our way from access to the food.

"Oh yeah, just cleaning up the battle that Pidge and I fought here this afternoon. You should've seen it, there was goo  _ everywhere! _ " Hunk grins, letting go of the hose as it slides back into place and crossing his arms with a victorious expression. 

I raise an eyebrow at the cleanliness of the kitchen in light of this apparent battle, "You did a good job cleaning up!" I praise, giving him a winning smile.

Lance and Hunk look at each other and laugh as Pidge straightens her glasses, "Yeah, I do gotta say, the goo's properties raise more questions than answers. I don't think I'll ever understand what it’s supposed to taste like, and we've been eating it for what, a week? Two weeks now?"

Lance visibly balks, straightening from where he was leaning on the counter, "Has it really been two weeks since we left Earth?"

I go over to the hose once Shiro fills up his bowl to fill my own, "I think it’s actually only been like, a week and a half at most. Time flies when you're having fun?"  I joke with a teasing glance. Lance gives me a deadpan and tired look that I can't tell if it’s genuine or not.

"Yeah, it does really make me think though. I'm really happy that I actually like you guys, you know?" Hunk sits up on the counter, swinging his legs as he speaks, "Like, can you imagine if there were just a bunch of jerks trying to work together?"

Pidge snickers as she tilts her head at him where she leans her elbows on the counter in a casual manner, "I have a hard time believing that you have people that you don't like, Hunk. Name one person you don't like."

Hunk taps his chin for a moment before he replies with a deep frown, "Gordon Ramsey!"

I spoon goo into my mouth as Pidge and Lance immediately cry in indignation, "Dude, what?!"

"Yeah, dude, isn't cooking like, your thing? How could you hate that guy, that's his whole  _ thing! _ " Lance cries, his jaw slacked in absolute shock as Hunk crosses his arms defensively from where he sits on the counter. 

"Yeah!" Hunk huffs, curling his nose like he smells something nasty, "He's just so mean for no good reason other than because people apparently find it funny, or whatever. But when he's with kids, he's like, an absolute angel, so like, why can't he just do that with grown ups too?" Hunk sets his hands on his hips as he raises his thick eyebrows at each of us to dare question his logic.

"Well, if you think about it, it's because the adults should know what they're doing. They claim that they do, but they actually don't." Pidge offers analytically, "Whereas kids never know what they're doing, so he pulls jerks off of their high horses while bringing up new minds, you know?"

Lance merely laughs, leaning against the counter in a comfortable way, "I don't know about all that, but I do love it when he calls them idiot sandwiches. They get all offended!"

"I'm with you, Hunk." I proffer, waving my spoon, "But I also see where you're coming from, Pidge. From what I've seen, he is completely polite to people until they tell him their food is a 10/10, but it's actually disgusting. Then he's a dick to them about it, because I mean, technically, they lied to him first."

Hunk grumbles, shaking his head, "Yeah, but like, just because it's justified doesn't mean it’s okay for him to be a jerk!"

I pause before offering a shrug, "Alright, fair point."

"It's nice to see you guys bonding as a team." Shiro murmurs with a wide grin, his eyes sparkling as he witnesses this enlightening conversation on Gordon Ramsay. He sits perched on the counter while eating his goo quietly, and I feel warm fuzziness of camaraderie flicker in my chest.

I raise an eyebrow, "Speaking of team… Have you guys seen Keith?"

Lance shrugs offhandedly, "I don't know, probably brooding somewhere. Why, looking to avoid him some more?"

I blink for a solid minute, "What?"

Pidge raises her eyebrow at me, “Yeah, we were just talking about it actually, wondering if there was something going on between you two. You were all buddy pals when we got here but now you like…” She struggles for words, tapping her lip thoughtfully before making a vague gesture with her hands. A huge and heavy stone settles in the pit of my stomach.

Hunk sweeps in, "Yeah, like, this morning when he left to go train, you let out this big breath of relief," Hunk looks at me with his head tilted as I look at him with wide eyes, "Oh, come on, it was so obvious! So drop the coffee, what's going on with you two?"

**_Fuck._ **

I clear my throat, rubbing the back of my neck, “Oh… Uh… no, that's not really…” I'm interrupted by a muffled laugh, one that's quickly disguises it as a clear-throat cough. 

I whip my head towards Shiro like a ghost-hunter waving a flashlight in the dark. He meets my gaze with a playful, wicked grin, "You're turning really red, Will. Feeling okay?" He asks with a raised eyebrow, and his eyes glint mischievously.

_ Fuck, that's right. He's gay, too. Of course he'd know a fellow gay in panic when he sees one. _

"Christ." I grumble under my breath, scraping the bottom of my bowl for as much goo as I can get to stuff into my mouth so I have an excuse not to speak. Hunk gives me a genuine, tender smile with warm eyes like fresh baked cookies, "You can tell us anything, Will! We are a team now, right?"

I huff, and I feel my cheeks burn redder by the second. I glance over at Shiro with a nervous grimace, "Am I really that obvious?"

Shiro chuckles, his arms crossed comfortably as he slides his now empty bowl across the counter, "Only recently, if it makes you feel any better."

Pidge looks between Shiro and I with a raised eyebrow rapidly, before she suddenly gasps with wide eyes, "Oh my god, do you-?!"

"What? Wait, there's something I'm missing here." Hunk blinks in confusion, looking at me and Shiro with a blank look.

Lance hops onto the confusion train, "Yeah, what's that supposed to mean, what's really obvious?"

Shiro raises an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to explain,  _ thankfully.  _ But the words get stuck in my throat.  _ I really did not want it to come to this point. Jesus Christ, I’m probably as red as my hair. _

I let out a long, drawn out sigh but Pidge is more than happy to explain after a mere beat of silence, looking like she's about to combust from her sheer excitement like a Chihuahua. Immediately she barks the answer with snapping breath like the answer to a hard question in class,  _ "Will's-gotta-crush-on-Keith!" _

I bristle and like the drop of a hat I feel my entire face bloom red as I shush her out of sheer embarrassment, " _ Jesus Christ _ , Pidge, can you say it any louder?"

Hunk's expression dawns as his eyes widen, I can almost see the pieces clicking together in his mind as he exhales,  _ "Ooooooh." _

Lance, however, looks at me with narrowed eyes, like I'm a difficult math problem, "Wait, what? You're gay?"

I give Lance a tired look, "Okay, I must be doing something wrong if I'm not immediately screaming 'raging homosexual' to you guys, because like, damn. I’m not exactly trying to hide it."

Pidge glances over at Lance incredulously, "Yeah, Lance, of course he's gay. When we met him he was wearing  _ flannel _  tied around his  _ waist _ . And he wears those two earrings in one ear, I mean, come on." She comes over to me and touches her forefinger and thumb to the small hoops in my right ear, and I jump a little. I forget that they're there most of the time because I'm so accustomed to wearing them. I snap my fingers at Pidge with a knowing smirk once she pulls away. 

_ Fellow queer folk tend to have this sense of camaraderie and like-mindedness when it comes to sniffing each other out, I can't really describe it other than that. It once used to be called gaydar, but I prefer the term queer-searching (so instead of radar it’s researching, but queer, _ _ haha, I'm hilarious and brilliant _ ). _ Others just call it queerdar, though, but I like the searching bit better.  _

Lance blinks stupidly, “Wait, what? Flannels mean gay? But wait, like…”

Shiro laughs, gesturing to Lance to settle, "Don't worry, Lance-" 

Lance bristles, immediately turning bright red as he snaps, "I'm not worried, Shiro!! I just… didn't realize, I’m just surprised!" Lance looks at me with an indignant expression, his hands waving as his voice rises, "So, wait, really? Keith? Of all the charming people you could've fallen for on this ship, you…  _ Keith? _ " Lance holds out his arms rather dramatically with his palms up, his eyebrows raised as well as his tenor. 

I blink at Lance with a raised eyebrow and hold up my hands, "Okay, there's a lot to unpack there." I begin to count off on one hand after a moment’s thought, "One, that I should have a crush on you just because I'm gay. Two, that you would think that you would be my type in the first place, like, bold of you to assume. Three, you wish that I had a crush on you  _ instead _  of Keith, which is interesting to say the least. And four, that you think that I can choose who I like?" I count them off on my fingers as I raise an eyebrow at Pidge, "Did I miss anything?"

Pidge snickers, turning her gaze to Lance with a raised eyebrow, "Yeah man, your rivalry is a whole different level if you're gonna compete on… you know, _  that. _ "

Lance's face is visibly red, flushed all the way down to his ears, “No! I didn't…!” He buries his face into his hands as we break into laughter.  _ Poor kid. _  I reach over and gently pat Lance on the back, "Don't worry dude, it's all good, I just wanted to tease you a little."

"So, you don't hate Keith, kind of the opposite in fact." Hunk summarizes as Lance recovers, raising an eyebrow at me, "So… why are you acting like that? It looks like you had a fight. No, not a fight, that sounds like you're a thing-" Hunk quickly elaborates as the burn in my cheeks intensifies,  _ I swear _  I'm about to burst into flames. "... A disagreement? Yeah, a disagreement." 

Pidge nods in agreement with a chin jutted at Hunk, "If we started to notice, then he would, too."

I huff, rubbing the back of my neck once I set down my now empty bowl of goo, "It's complicated!"

Shiro snickers from older my shoulder and I whirl to shoot him a look of  _ you-shut-your-gay-ass-up-I-swear-to-God.  _ He seems to be barely containing his laughter, a hand over his mouth with smiling crows feet in the corners of his beautifully slanted eyes. I roll my eyes and sigh, throwing my hands in the air, "Yeah, I know it sounds stupid, but I'm worried that he'll realize that I like him. I mean, I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable and like, I have no idea what his sexuality is! It's just a whole thing." I let out a loud huff as I cross my arms, regarding the others gathered around the counter with helpless frustration, "So I've just been… avoiding him. So he doesn't think that I'm treating him any different than y'all."

Pidge gives me a deadpan look that makes me think that back at the Garrison Pidge was 100% the person that would call out Lance and Hunk on their bullshit, "Yeah, that'll do it, Will! Treat him differently so he knows you aren't treating him differently. Truly, it's brilliant. _ Revolutionary- _ "

I shoot Pidge a glare, “Okay, I get it, but it's just…!” I sigh heavily, leaning against the counter and staring down at my hands as I feel a burn rise in my cheeks just  _ thinking  _ about  _ thinking about  _ Keith. How stupid and  _ ridiculously _  next level is that?  _ Next level gay shit is what that is. _  "I tried to just ignore it at first, you know?" I rub the back of my neck uncomfortably, waving a hand to the side, “Like, no big deal, yeah, he's got nice eyes, and he's kind… and he's determined… and passionate and…”

Pidge snickers and I realize that I'm rambling, so I quickly shut my mouth as a blush rises and spreads to my neck. The sound returns me to the track I was on as I clear my throat, meeting Pidge's gaze, Hunk's, Lance's, then Shiro's, "But the thing is, I can't ignore it anymore. Like, if he looks at me, I can't function, I shut down,  _ I literally  _ go into a gay panic and that's got to be so obvious!" I exclaim dramatically, throwing my hands in the air before letting them fall back to my sides, "So, I have to put some distance between us so he gets… I don't know, I guess mixed signals. That way, it'll like, you know, jamming the gay signal."

Shiro raises an eyebrow, "You know, Will, you can always just ask him?"

I give Shiro an incredulous look, "Yeah, good thinking Shiro! 'Hey Keith, which ways do you swing? I'm just asking for a friend.' or maybe shoot him with a ' _ Hey-o _ , if there was  _ hypothetically _  somebody on this ship you'd  _ hypothetically  _ like, who would it be? Asking for a friend.'" I shoot Shiro a meaningful look with my eyebrows raised incredulously, crossing my arms over my chest, "If I'm lucky, he'll say 'both ways with a bat.' and 'Will, what the fuck?'"

Hunk and Pidge both immediately launch into opposing arguments, speaking over each other to the point I can't hear what either of them are saying, so I quickly wave my hands at them to cut them off, "Listen, listen, guys, I appreciate you trying to help me out, but I'll handle it, okay? It'll go away eventually, and just...  _ please _  don't say anything to him about it, alright? We have bigger problems right now than my feelings, and I'm afraid bringing them to light will jeopardize the mission."

This seems to quiet the team, silence hanging in the air for a moment before Hunk merely shrugs, "I don't know, I don't really think that it's a bad thing that you like him. Hey, it might even be good for him, maybe he'll stop being all… what's it you said, Lance, broody? Yeah, broody all the time!"

Pidge raises an eyebrow at him, "I don't know about that." She glances at me with an understanding gaze, "I mean, don't take it the wrong way, but I see where you're coming from, Will. It would be bad for the team if you told him you liked him and he doesn't like you back, because that'd make you sad and the both of you will become really awkward around each other." She frowns, casting her gaze off to the side as she taps her lips, "Or, if he does like you back, and you two become a thing, like... I don't know." She sighs, shrugging her shoulders before offering me an equally confused look, "It might change the team dynamic." She glances at the others, before holding her hands up as if in surrender, "I don't know, I wouldn't be weirded out about it, but I think Lance might be."

Lance bristles immediately, whirling his head around to glare at Pidge, "Hey, I don't care about what he does!" Lance flickers his gaze over to me briefly with an offhanded gesture, "Or what you do, too." He says to me with a jut of his chin, crossing his arms defensively, "I don't think it's bad, I actually think it's only natural that people start to like each other when they're in a space together for a while." I see that his ears are turning a little pink as he flickers his gaze to the side, "At least, I kinda hope it does." 

Something about Lance's expression tells me that he hopes that's the case definitely beyond my situation with Keith. "Thinking of someone in particular, Lance?" I ask with a wicked grin sliding up my features. Lance's face immediately turns redder against his dark complexion.

Pidge and Hunk both immediately reply without hesitation, "Allura."

Lance shoots them a glare, and now I can see that his entire face is red, and it's creeping down to his neck, "Gee, thanks guys for the  _ secrecy _ ."

Pidge scoffs so loud that it echoes in the kitchen chamber, "Dude, if that's you being secret, then you've gotta try harder."

I blink, frowning a little before I flicker my gaze to Lance, "Wait, you  _ actually  _ like Allura? Like, beyond just her being pretty?" 

Lance opens his mouth to speak before he pauses, shooting me a narrowed glare, "What's  _ that  _ supposed to mean?"

I blink, flustered and stammering as I immediately backtrack, "Shit, sorry, I… Sorry, Lance, don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't... You kind of seem like ah..."  _ Shallow.  _ "... Kind of a player-type. Didn't really pin you to have crushes." 

Lance continues to glare at me with narrowed eyes, "Hey, I can like multiple people! I have a lotta Lance to dish out!" He jokes with a bit of a smirk and I narrow my eyes at Lance with a perplexed expression. He definitely has a wall up right now, one that I recognize. He does this theatrical, over the top display where he’s trying hard, sometimes too hard, to be funny and make us laugh. It almost always works, but I realize slowly over time that he does this in situations where he's nervous, like when we were getting ready to extract Sendak's memories, or when we were debating laser sound effects on the bridge. He's doing something similar now, so I wonder what exactly Lance is nervous about.

"I know it's not my place to tell you what to do in this situation, but I think you should be fine, if you go about it delicately." Shiro suddenly speaks up, and we turn to watch him inquisitively as he continues with an amicable and understanding gaze, "I've known Keith since he was a kid, and it's hard to tell what's going through his head sometimes. So just… be honest. With yourself, with him, and be authentic. Everything will work out if you don't try to over-complicate things."

I bite my lip, almost wanting to blurt out  _ but Shiro, over-complicating things is what I'm  _ **_best_ ** _ at!  _ I, luckily, keep quiet as Shiro's steely gaze flickers to the others with a warm smile, "We're a team now. We won't break so easily just because of some romantic drama."

I huff, crossing my arms as my entire face creeps bright red with each passing moment, "I guess."  _ Romantic drama. That's a horrible phrase. That's a phrase that brings with it a lot of pressure. How I feel towards Keith isn't  _ **_romantic…_ ** _ right? _

I find myself staring down at the floor as a lump wells in my throat.  _ Maybe my sense of what romantic means is completely skewed. I mean, after Damien, what does romantic even mean anymore? … God, why do I have to be so broken as a person?  _

I stack my empty bowl on Shiro's with a louder clatter than I mean to, causing everyone to jolt a little. I wave a hand apologetically as I turn to leave the room, "Now, before I embarrass myself further, I'm gonna go do something productive. Like… train, or see if I can't convince Coran or Allura to teach me Altean, or… you know, go somewhere to  _ not _  deal with my feelings." I grumble with a deft nod, and I hear vague laughter as the door closes behind me.

I walk out of the room, and down the hall at a quick pace, taking a shallow breath as I do so to clear my head.

I rifle for something to do, something that definitely wouldn't allow me to cross paths with Keith, when I hear the sound of sniffling. The Castle is naturally quiet, hence why it's easy to hear words within rooms even when you're not in them, not because the walls are particularly thin or anything but because everything, everywhere, is always so  _ quiet.  _ I hesitate and close my eyes, and again the sound comes to me from where I stand at a cross section: soft, sad sniffling. I peer down the hall to my left, it's one that I've never really been down before as it leads towards the part of the Castle that I know Allura and Coran's rooms lie. I follow the sound down the hall, and the farther in I go the more I can hear that it isn't just sniffling; it sounds like suppressed sobs. I pause at the end of the hall where there's a wide open door with darkness within, and I peer inside from around the edge of the door.

Inside, a short path leads into a small, circular chamber, with no lights save the electric blue lights of the Balmeran crystal powering the ship along the wall. It's rather dark save for the light blue cascading into the room, like the inside of a planetarium. In the center of this rounded room is a pedestal, like where Allura stands in the command center but far smaller, with a diameter as long as my arms. In the center of the pedestal is what looks like a massive, broken hourglass; it's about as big as a tub of ice cream, levitating in the air at around chest level, and all around it are hundreds, if not thousands of glass shards of various sizes. Movement catches my eye, and from behind the glass comes Allura. She's still in her pajamas, or at least I think they're pajamas, because they have that flowy, princessy sleeping gown appeal. It's really just a less intricate and softer-in-texture version of her royalty garments, save that this dress appears to be too large for her, and soft blue. I'd never seen her in colors other than pink before this moment, and I didn't realize it until now. As she moves around the hourglass, I see that she has these little pink ribbons tied around her waist and her wrists, like they were added as an afterthought, and a warm, comfy, baby blue throw over her shoulders that drags a little behind her with the soft clattering of glass. As she moves around the pedestal I notice that there's is a levitating basin standing beside her with what looks like a hose sticking down from the side, and as it passes it sucks in the broken glass with a soft humming noise, followed by the clanging of rapid-moving glass. Allura moves just ahead of the device, hesitating just before she reaches an area that's still heavily covered in glass. She leans down in a slow motion and picks up what appears to be a rather large piece of glass on the ground and then places it inside the basin, like the simple act of cleaning up is one of reverence. She turns in my direction with a soft, choking sound, and when she moves to wipe her eyes on her sleeves I can see that she's crying. I can't help but feel that I've intruded on a private moment, and for a moment I wonder if I should turn and leave… But I can't just allow her to be upset like this and not try to help.

"Hey Allura." My voice cuts the silence like a knife. Allura's gaze snaps to the present like a light switch and she looks up at me with wide eyes as I slowly enter the room. Her long, silvery hair falls down her back in white curls, and for once I see that it's not braided in any sort of intricate way like usual, it's just… down. It's quite beautiful, actually. Her crown as always is nestled on her temple, with the small blue gem in the center that matches her eyes, which glimmer like stars in the dark light of the room.  _ I can't deny that Allura is absolutely the most beautiful woman I've ever met.  _ Her eyes aren't bloodshot like I'd expect from someone crying, and for a moment I wonder if it's because she's Altean. I mean, she's a whole other alien race, and although and speaks and talks similar to us, I can't imagine that  _ everything  _ is the same. 

Allura blinks at me for several seconds as I pick my way over to her, careful in my socks to avoid the glass and following the trail that the little sucking basin had left before she lets out a relieved breath, "Oh, Will." Allura clasps her hands over her heart, a motion I've seen her do many times and I'm not entirely sure what it means. She meets my curious gaze with an almost shy expression, and I watch her blink rapidly to clear the remnants of tears from her eyes, probably hoping that I wouldn't notice, "I thought you might have been Coran, coming to chastise me."

I shrug, taking her relief as an invitation to join her as I quietly approach. I keep my gaze focused on the floor to make sure I don't step in glass, and in that moment I notice just how fucking  _ short  _ this sweater is. It looks like a fucking crop top with these pants. That's never really been my aesthetic, but... I did see off our first ever freed prisoners in my underwear, so the bar for my presentation is extremely low. "No, no chastising yet, but the night is young." Allura's expression melts into a youthful laugh, and I can't help but laugh with her. Her smile is contagious, and so… young. 

"Are you alright?" Allura asks, raising a slender white eyebrow at me as her gaze glances across my person, "You were… very wet, before."  _ I wonder if she's judging my apparent fashion choice too.  _

_ Wow, I really am gay, hyperfixating on my clothes so much.  _

I can't help but laugh again as I finally stop before her, worming my hands into the soft pockets of my low-hanging sweatpants,  _ Christ, if my mom saw me in this, she'd cuff me _ , "Oh, yeah, I almost drowned in the shower." I state the fact bluntly, shrugging to pass it off although a stone weights in my chest, "It's okay though, I didn't."

Allura blinks in shock, "Oh, my, I… I'm so sorry!" She composes herself to a manner I'm used to seeing on her, with her shoulders back and her chin high, the same stance as when she commands the Castle of Lions while on the bridge, "With the virus purged, I'm positive it won't happen again." I raise an eyebrow at her curiously, and as Allura meets my gaze I watch the composure fall. It's not conscious, not nearly as conscious as seconds before when she built it up from scratch, but her expression turns soft and genuine when she speaks again, "... I'm very glad you're alright."

I shrug, pushing my hands as far into my pockets as possible just to see how far they can go, fixing my gaze on the striped patterns of my fuzzy socks, "It's really alright. Honestly, I've been through so much shit since we found the Blue Lion that almost drowning in the shower is frankly one of the more tamer things."

I notice as I say the word 'shit', her little pointed ears twitch like a lamb's as she seems to balk a little, like she's surprised.  _ Oh no, I don't know if she's comfortable with swearing or not! _  I immediately retract, "Oh, I'm sorry, Allura. Does it bother you when I swear?"

Allura hesitates before she meets my gaze, but when she does I see a slight, mischievous smile stretching across her features, "... No, not at all. I.. I'm just not used to hearing vulgarity. Usually, with a princess around, people tend to watch their manners more than usual."

I bite my lip, my gaze nervously flickering across her features "Oh. I didn't really think about that… Should I be watching my manners more?"

"No, it's quite alright." Allura shakes her head with a brilliant smile, "It's merely a surprise to me, that is all. I actually think I quite like it." I've decided that Allura's accent reminds me most of a British accent; posh, yet articulate and precise, like wind chimes.

"How come?"

Allura's hands slowly move from clutching in front of her chest to relaxing at her sides, pulling on the edges of her shawl, "It's… rather refreshing, I suppose."

"Well," I murmur, looking at her with a slight smile, "I consider you a person first, Princess second, so what you want matters more to me than what your position expects."

Allura blinks, as if this answer surprises her, and she chuckles after a moment. Slowly she looks down in her lap and examines her fingers, her expression almost abashed when I notice... a soft blue light, just at the nape of her throat, glimmering underneath her skin. I don't think I would've seen it, had it not been dark in the room.

A memory clicks in my mind, and I furrow my eyebrows with a tentative tone, "Allura, if I may ask... do you have a transladazine?"

Allura nods, her gaze rising again to meet mine with a relieved set in her shoulders, "Yes, of course. It's custom on Altea to have the procedure once you've reached maturity so that we can maximize our potential diplomatic and exploratory resources. And, since I am royalty, it's even more than expected I do the same." She pauses and tilts her head at me, pulling her shawl tighter around her lithe frame, "I'm surprised you remember when the Galra's prisoners mentioned it."

I nod, meeting her eyes with a slight smile, "Yeah, 'course. How could I forget?" I move to sit on the steps next to the circular pedestal, and Allura immediately moves to sit next to me.  _ I'll take that as a sign that she wants to keep talking to me and that I'm not intruding, okay cool,  _ "I know that a lot of the problems that we had back on Earth wouldn't be solved, but they would be helped if we had access to technology like that. Most problems are caused by miscommunication, after all."

Allura nods in understanding, "Yes, it truly is." Her arms move to wrap around her knees loosely, her head tilted to the side as she regards my expression, "It's why it was invented. I believe it was initially an Olkari invention, many thousands of years before I was born, but my people were the ones who completely embraced it. That and... the Galra." Her eyes harden a little at the mention, and for a while I find myself not entirely sure of what to say.

After a few minutes of silence, Allura's flicker back to mine, "Will, can I ask you something? About your people?"

I blink a little, glancing back at her with a nervous tremor in my voice, "I mean, yeah, but what I say isn't exactly all-encompassing. There's a whole lot I don't know."

Allura raises an eyebrow at me, as if surprised by my answer, before she launches into an excited tone, holding her hands before her like she's grasping a globe, "I am astounded at how varied you are from one another when I first saw you! For example, Shiro is tall, and has the black and white hair here," She points to the front of her head with a pensive look, "And Lance and Hunk both have the darker skin tone, like I have, but they're so different in their body builds they hardly look similar! Hunk has a wider nose, wider head, and yet his eyes are shaped almost like Shiro's, yet not in the same manner. And then there's Pidge, with those funny… spectacles, and Keith with the strange texture of his hair, and then you're all so varied in your frames! Pidge is so small, Lance has these long arms like a shanglor, and Hunk's arms are so thick, and you!" Allura's gaze immediately flicker over to me, like a kid spotting a particularly good flavor on the ice cream truck, "This hair! And these strange markings on your face!" She reaches out and touches a lock of my hair that hangs in the front of my eyes, before she pokes at my cheeks with an interested expression, "How are you all so… different? Yet somehow all know each other? You're all so varied, you must've all come from vastly different parts of Earth!"

I can't help but smile at how…  _ giddy  _ Allura looks. I've seen it before, this glimmer in her eyes. She had the same glimmer when she was telling us about the lions, describing how the Castle operates. She's naturally inquisitive and curious, like a kitten, and it's  _ endearing.  _ "I mean, technically we do come from different places on Earth, but we all kinda happened to be at the same place at the same time. The others are all connected because they're cadets at the Garrison, which is where they train the next generation of space explorers and stuff like that. My parents were instructors there, but I wasn't in the program." I shrug a little, tapping my lips, "I don't know. Humans just have a huge variety of people. Some differences are because of location, happenstance, genetics, race, but all in all we're just a hodge-podge of features with so many inputs and sources that they get too jumbled together to really trace anything." 

Allura tilts her head at me with a curious gaze, resting her head on her knees, “Race? There must be a translation error…” She taps her ears like they're the top of a faulty satellite as she curls her nose, "How are there multiple races of a race?"

I blink at her stupidly, gathering my thoughts before raising an eyebrow, "I think you might be thinking of species." 

Allura blinks back at me with equal confusion, "Those are the same words." 

We stare at each other in utter confusion before I break out into a bout of belly aching laughter. Allura merely continues to stare at me as I keel over, holding my sides, and only after several minutes of laughing am I able to speak again, "Oh, okay, okay. So, apparently, miscommunication can  _ still  _ happen with transladazines. So question, when I'm speaking to you, am I speaking in Altean? Or do the words get translated in your head, or something?" 

"You speak in Altean." Allura answers in a matter of fact tone. 

"Okay," I begin, tapping my lips thoughtfully, "So, in Altean, race and species are the same word?" 

Allura nods in affirmation. I lean forward a little and cross my arms over my knees, letting out a short breath, "... Huh. Well, in our language, English, they're two different words. One is like... humans, humans are a species, I'm gonna call that word the "S" so you can actually hear the difference," I gesture with my hands, shoving 'S' to the side and holding up the invisible other, "So the other word, race, is "R". So, humans are an 'S', Alteans are an 'S', dogs are an 'S'. But, within that, there are 'R's in human society. Since you don't have a different word, I bet that's because you don't have a difference, or something like that, I don't know." I let out a huff, pinching my brow with another sigh,  _ this is so complicated it's starting to hurt my head,  _ "'R' is basically this made up thing, this assignment of certain characteristics based on what part of the planet you're from. Like, for example, Shiro and I are both human, right?" Allura nods briskly, so I press on, speaking with my hands while gesturing to invisible spots on an invisible globe, "Well, our 'S' is human, but our 'R's are completely different. My 'R' is white, and Shiro's 'R' is Asian, but within those two categories are even more specific attributes. For me, not really, I'm just white because any specifications within that are dependent entirely on where you or your relatives were born, but Shiro's more specific 'R' is that he's Japanese, in that he's from a specific part of Asia that has its own language and its own culture. That's why his 'R's distinction is more important than mine, because my specifications of my 'R' doesn't change my language or cultural origins, with some few exceptions, whereas for Shiro, just calling his 'R' Asian isn't specific enough save for a few of his physical traits." 

Allura blinks at me with a slightly dazed expression and I rub my temple with a loud huff, "Yeah, I know, it's confusing as hell. 'R' is complex, but at the end of the day, it's pretty much only socially created." 

After a few seconds Allura nods, her gaze flickering off to the side before they flick back to me, "So, this 'R' is created… based on how your people look? How was that decided? What is the baseline?" 

I make a noise of exhaustion and throw my hands in the air, "Hell if I know, Allura. It's all completely arbitrary, and the 'baseline' for different people in different places will be wildly different." I twist my fingers in my lap as I sit up a little, my socked feet thumping against the cleared floor as the little, sucking basin comes by and does another sweep for glass, "It's just socially constructed, it's fake… but its impacts, how people treat one another based on these socially created frames, are very real, and that's why they matter. Otherwise, I think we would've developed past it and erased it from our social memory, so to speak."

Allura watches me silently as I give a horribly brief explanation of  _ what the fuck is  _ **_race_ ** _ ,  _ but she's rather attentive. If I tried to have this sort of conversation with Coran, I doubt it would've gone the same. Not because he wouldn't listen or anything, but something about Allura's quiet, rapt attention made it easier for me to articulate it. 

Finally, after a few moments of comfortable silence, Allura raises an eyebrow at me, "You are… I'm unfamiliar with human lifespans, but Will, are you technically fully grown?"

I blink at the turn in discussion, "I think so, just about. If not, I'm about to be. Physically, I think humans take about 14 to 20 years, but mental development is somewhere between 17 to 25. Not entirely sure on that, so take it with a grain of salt." I meet Allura's eyes and jut a thumb at myself, "I'm 19, so I'm smack in the middle, but I also had to go through puberty twice, so I'm kind of a late bloomer all around."

Allura's eyes go wide, "Wait, what?"

I blink back at her with equal confusion, "Oh no, this isn't another translation error, is it? Puberty? Late bloomer? What's tripping you up?"

"Puberty is the process where you go from being a child to being an adult, I know." Allura waves her hand at me, raising her eyebrow as she holds up her thumb and pinky finger up towards me, "But… how is it possible that you do that twice? Is that normal for humans?"

_ Well shit. So this is the conversation we're having now.  _

I let out a soft breath, twisting my fingers together as I struggle to find the words, "No, that's not usually how it is for humans. I'm ah... I'm what we call transgender, in that I was born with one assigned gender but I actually identified as another, but for me specifically my sexual  _ and  _ my gender identity didn't correspond, but I didn't realize that until after I'd matured in the wrong way, so I kind of had to do it again to go another way." Allura continues to blink at me stupidly.

"Maybe there's a translation error here." I murmur and bite my lip, glancing at Allura with a helpless gaze, "What exactly is tripping you up?"

Allura interrupts me, "Gender is based entirely upon societal expectations."

I blink before breaking into a wide grin, "Wow. Okay, so Altean society was definitely farther along than Earth's. It's really only been about 50 years since people started realizing there's more than the two that aligned with their sex."

Allura blinks at me like I just hit her in the face with a pie, "I… what?"

I frown and rotate my fingers around one another, "Okay, let’s backtrack. So, when I say that I'm transgender, that means that originally, the doctors declared my gender to match my sex at birth, but as I got older I felt that my true gender expression didn't match up with the sex I was assigned. But, I didn't realize until after I went through puberty with that sex assignment that that assignment was wrong too, not just my gender." I hesitate for a moment, and I meet Allura's gaze before I slowly raise my shirt. Allura follows my eyes as I show her the scars under my pectoral muscle, "I had to get some surgeries. Because I felt that the pieces I were given weren't what I was. It took a while, about a year, until I felt like my body matched up right."

Allura stares at me with a sharpened gaze firmly planted on my chest. I wonder if I should feel self conscious, and for a moment I wonder if what I'm doing is super inappropriate in Altean culture or something, but after a moment she raises her hand from her lap, reaching towards me and touches the raised scar tissue. I grin a little with a puff of air, "That tickles."

Allura raises an eyebrow at me and as her hand withdraws I let my sweater fall back down the short distance to my navel. With a sudden gasp, Allura's eyes flicker like a match being struck, "Oh, I understand!" 

I blink at her stupidly as she begins to illustrate with her hands, "That word you used, we don't have that in Altean, but as you explained it more I understand why." Allura's gaze flickers down to her lap before it returns back to me,  _ she really favors eye contact. It's really hard to keep looking at her, but I don't want to seem rude, it also doesn’t help that her eyes are so weird,  _ “Alteans don't have this differential idea between gender and sex in terms of expressions. They are just as fluid as what you were describing but now seeing those scars on your chest…” Allura tilts her head, hers eyes alight with the glee of discovery, "Humans can't morph themselves, can they?" 

Allura and I merely blink at each other for a solid ten seconds before I find the words to speak, "... Alteans can?" 

Allura's eyes spark, a broad grin spreading across her features, “Yes! Alteans are a chameleon like people that can change their appearance, for the most part, at least. This includes organ arrangements, but those take more time, for certain…” 

I'm sent reeling at this new information, and I find myself waving my hands in desperation, "Whoa, hang on, you can… you can change your appearance whenever you want to? You can change your  _ organs? _ " 

Allura nods again with some enthusiasm, "It's what made my people great explorers and diplomats, by blending in with local populations." I blink as I try to digest this information while Allura gestures with a finger to my chest, “This explains why your language has that distinction. Because you can't change at will… you're…” Allura falters a little, her eyes widening as she peers into my eyes, "You're stuck as you are when you are born." 

I shrug nonchalantly, "Technically yeah, but people like me are really fortunate to live in the time that I do. It took a long time for people to accept what's different than the expected, and even longer for people to understand it. Most still don't, but nonetheless… It happens." I feel my smile falter a little, "I'm lucky. My family has the financial resources to afford the… I like to call them 'corrective surgeries' but technically they're called sex changes… but I know many people who are never able to have the corrective surgeries to assist matching their insides with their outsides. I'm pretty privileged, that way." My voice trails off a little, and I rub the back of my neck, "I feel guilty every once in a while, that I'm lucky to have been born into a family with the resources it did, otherwise… I don't know what would've happened."  _ That's not entirely true, I know exactly what would happen; I wouldn’t have survived past sixteen. _

I try not to think about it, and instead double it back to the absolute love and adoration I have for my parents in helping me down the path they did. 

Allura is silent for a long moment, fiddling with the hem of her nightgown before she meets my gaze warmly, "Thank you, Will."

I smile gently in response, "Any time. Sorry that was kind of a rant, huh?" I rub the back of my neck awkwardly, and I feel a deep red burn my neck as I clear my throat, "I totally just… talked a lot about myself just now." I turn to Allura with a genuinely interested, if a tad sheepish, expression, "I'd like to get to know more about you, Allura, and your people. Apparently y'all can  _ morph  _ at  _ will  _ so that's pretty awesome-"

I find my words trailing off as I flicker my gaze over to Allura. Her eyes are distant, looking just past me at the space behind my skull, and it strikes me. I realize the weight of what I'm asking her. I hesitate, reaching forward and touching her hand with an apologetic look, “I… I'm sorry, that was… asking you that question today of all days was definitely a stupid decision…”

Allura quickly shakes her head, a small smile appearing on the edge of her lips as she moves to take my hand, "No, it's alright." She grips my hand tightly, like a child clings to their parent's hand, and for the second time today I'm reminded of just how… young she looks. She may not even be much older than me, maybe even younger, but I haven't the faintest clue what Altean aging is like.

We're silent for a moment, and Allura shifts closer to me as she grasps tighter to my hand. Her eyes are on the floor, and it looks like she's trying to speak past a piece of cotton in her throat, "I… I miss Altea." Allura murmurs, and I realize that while her eyes physically on the floor, her gaze is in another world, "I know that it's gone. I try to focus on saving the rest of the galaxy from my people's fate, to fulfill what my father fought for."

I nod in understanding, and I gently squeeze her hand and run my thumb across her knuckles in a gentle manner, "I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you. You carry a lot on your shoulders."

Allura is silent for a time, but she seems to welcome my touch, shifting so she's facing me more, "I miss the fields of flowers. The juniberries, the huskins, the geomies... I miss the sky, the air, the sweet smell of akaine from the bakery that would waft in through my chamber window." She tilts her head to the side as her shoulders stoop, like the memories physically weigh her down.

I watch her with a gentle gaze, raising an eyebrow curiously, "What's akaine?"

Allura's expression lightens a little as she smiles, "They're these... cookies. Sweet, flaky outside, and in the inside is tart, wicket jelly." Allura's expression is fond as she recounts these sweets, "They were my favorite." After a moment Allura's eyes grow distant once more, and her smile fades, "I used to be so... frivolous. I remember, once I was at an evening party with my mother and father, and I got so upset when I dropped my glass and juniberry juice stained my dress." She laughs a little to herself in such an endearing way I can't help but smile with her, "That seems like such a distant memory now. I wish I held onto what I had more. Then I don't think I would miss it so much."

I nod in understanding, rubbing small circles with my thumb on her skin, which seems to help her relax. I'm not sure what to say, but a part of me gets the feeling that I don't need to say anything. After a moment of sitting together in silence, she turns to me with a soft gaze, "I… before, listening to you talk about your home… I didn't expect that it would distract me as well as it did. It actually made me feel better."

_ That's a fucking victory.  _ "I'm so glad to hear that." I mean it, each syllable. 

Allura releases her hand from mine and I let my hand return to my lap to follow her lead on her comfort level as she lets out a breath, "It's not that I want to forget about Altea. Not at all, I… it's just, sometimes, the grief I feel is so consuming." She clasps her hands over her chest, resting over her heart as her eyes bore into mine, "Hearing from you about your planet, your people, and you, it… I don't know. It's wonderful to listen to someone who loves their home planet as much as I do."

I feel my throat tighten, and I realize that I'm damn near close to tears. I swallow the salt down my throat and keep my gaze glued to my hands as Allura's voice fills the little room, "Are there things that you miss about Earth?"

I hesitate, biting my lip as I ponder the question. After a moment, I'm able to meet Allura's gaze again, "My parents, mostly." I open my mouth to continue, but when I see the flicker of pain in Allura's eyes I know immediately, after today, I need to talk about literally  _ anything  _ other than that, "I grew up in the mountains, in a small house in the forest." I continue quickly, barely skipping a beat in the flow of the conversation, “I miss the wind, howling through the trees and bringing all sorts of scents, like pine needles, fall leaves…”

Allura raises an eyebrow, "What is that word you just used? I can't say it, it doesn't have a translation in Altean... 'pine needle'?" In that moment, watching Allura trying to pronounce pine needle, I realize just how wildly different Altean is from English. She's having to speak around the transladazine, her saying pine needle is truly Allura trying to speak English rather than her transladazine translating it for her. She pulls too long on the 'eye-ne' in pine, and the 'dl' part of needle she instead replaces with a 't'. It's incredibly authentic, and I find it difficult to remember that she's asking me for a translation.

I can't help but grin, "Oh, pine needle? It's… It's a type of leaf from a certain kind of tree, they're waxy and thin, shaped like a needle, and they smell… So good, kind of minty and fresh, like the chill from cold water but instead of a taste it's a scent. When you touch them, the smell always clings to your skin." I say with a bright smile, and after a moment I feel it begin to falter.  _ When was the last time I smelt a pine needle? It's been… at least 3 years. Not since before we moved to Texas. _  "My parents moved to the Garrison to be flight instructors, and we had to leave the forest. The Garrison's in Texas, specifically in the middle of a desert with nothing but rocks, and sand." I curl my nose with a grumble, "I hate sand. It's the worst! It just gets everywhere, it's scratchy, and it doesn't do anything but be annoying."

Allura smiles and giggles, covering a hand over her mouth with a glimmer in her eyes, and I can't help but relax at the sound. After a moment, I let out a soft sigh, "Not gonna lie, I was really resentful for having to move there after living for so long in such a beautiful place. It's just so… ugly. Almost artificial. And even worse, the desert is about as far away from the ocean as you can get."

Allura blinks at me, "The ocean?"

I raise an eyebrow, "You know… ocean? Is this another translation error?"

Allura shakes her head, "No, ocean has a word in Altean, but it means a grand expanse of emptiness, usually associated with those areas of space in between galaxy systems. I doubt that's what you're referring to… Or are you?"

I blink at her for a moment with a soft laugh, "Oh yeah, that's a translation error. We just call that 'space'. Space means devoid of anything. An ocean is..." I pause, tilting my head to glance at Allura, "Were there bodies of water on Altea?"

"Yes." Allura nods in affirmation, painting an image with her hands on an imaginary globe, "They're scattered all across the planet… they are soft blue, like aliaps, and they just flowed through your fingers like the finest of yimcap." Allura nods pensively, her expression far away before her eyes return to mine. "Is the ocean something like this?"

I find myself laughing, a big smile stretched across my face as I shrug helplessly, "Maybe? A lot of those words were in Altean." I bite my lip as I struggle to think before holding my arms out wide, "The ocean is massive. Most of our planet is covered in water, and the ocean is actually less explored than our solar system, at the moment." I joke with a shrug, and Allura looks at me with wide eyes as I continue, "It's because it's incredibly deep and expansive. The water pressure is so high that only some tech can sustain it, and the materials to make that tech are expensive. And it's also incredibly dark down there. We discover new things about it damn near every day, it's really interesting." I smile a little in fondness as I lean on my hands, tilting my head in thought.

"That's what the ocean is, literally, but it's more than that to me." I glance at Allura, biting my lip pensively and wondering whether I should share so much with her about myself, but throwing caution to the wind I figure I might as well. We're having an in depth heart to heart, no point in stopping now… Especially since Allura’s finding it to be a comfort, and she is just so  _ wonderful  _ to talk to. It's funny to try and figure out each other's translations when the transladazine falls through, and she just… listens. She's an active listener, which is such a rare trait to come across, that I want to just tell her  _ everything _ , about me, about Earth, all that I have stored in my head. 

"Where my family lived originally, up in the mountains, we were about two hours away from the closest beach, where the land meets the ocean." I begin with a soft tone, and Allura touches her head to her knees as she regards me with appears to be an interested expression, "It was the only place I ever went where my dreams weren't so bad. I think it's because of the sound of the waves crashing on the sand." I close my eyes for a moment, and I can almost hear it, and I let out a breath as I turn to Allura, "We have one moon that orbits Earth, no bigger than a continent, I think. It once was a piece of Earth, I heard, before an asteroid broke it away and reshaped them both a fuck-ton of years ago. The moon's gravitational pull causes the ocean to constantly be moving all across the globe, and we'd see it in the tides." I demonstrate the push and pull with my hands as Allura's eyes widen, "Throughout the day, the water would lower to reveal sand banks and sea shells, and then as the moon would orbit Earth, water would be pulled back up. When the water would move away from the beach we'd call that low tide, and when it came up onto the beach we'd call that high tide."

The more I speak, even just about the logistics of how the ocean works, the more relaxed I feel, the tension in my shoulders is receding. Just talking about the ocean calms me, I can hear the crashing waves, taste the salt and smell the clarity. "They had these beautiful shells on the beach. They're fossils, I think, of the millions of creatures and rocks and sediments that condensed. Or, at least, I think they are, I don't really know," I laugh a little awkwardly, before holding an invisible shell in my hand, "But what I do know is that there are some shells that are shaped like conchs." I make a rough outline with the tip of my finger glancing over at Allura to see she's watching intently, "And when you press your ear into the opening of a conch shell, we say that you're hearing the ocean caught within, a gateway to the sea. It's really just the echoing sound of blood rushing in your ears actually, but they do sound pretty similar." I feel my eyes fall to the ground, biting my lip before I meet Allura's gaze again, "I had one, back in my room in Texas. Whenever I'd have a particularly bad dream, I had a bunch of ways to help calm me down, but one was putting my ear to the conch shell and pretend I was on the beach, listening to the waves." I let out a soft noise of sadness as I stare down at my feet. My heart feels… heavy. So incredibly heavy. 

I think I get what Allura said before, about focusing on the mission to distract herself from missing Altea. I guess I didn't realize it 'til now, but… I didn't realize how much I actually miss Earth until I got to thinking about all these things that I may or may not ever see again. This just makes my heart drop even more, the prospect of never seeing, or even hearing the ocean again.

Allura lets out a soft breath, "That's incredibly endearing." She smiles a little and pushes her silvery hair behind a pointed ear as she rests her chin on her knees. I see there's a purple jewel clasped to the lobe, ones that she's worn every single day that I've known her, and I reach over to gently touch it with my thumb, "These are pretty." I murmur idly. 

Allura chuckles softly, turning to face me with a look of amusement, "They're more than just for decoration. They're my communicators."

I blink immediately, withdrawing my hand as I balk, "Wait, so, can everyone hear us right now?"

Allura breaks into a loud laugh, full on throwing her head back as she shakes her head, "No, no! Only when I activate them, don't worry." I can't help but laugh a little in response as well, immediately relaxing again.  _ Yeah, I definitely don't want everyone to have been hearing all of that oversharing. _  "But it does make me feel better to wear them even when I'm not using them." Allura continues with a bright grin, her nose crinkling in pure amusement as she wraps her hands around her knees and she tilts her head pensively, "It's nice, knowing that at any time if any of you were to call, I could answer."

I nod with a slightly embarrassed smile, touching my own earrings in my right ear. I have two, small, silver rings, so small that I couldn't even fit my pinky through them;  _ how cool would that be if I could hear through them instead of the communicator in my helmet. _ "That's... pretty cool." I glance over at Allura as she watches the little basin, which has now collected almost all of the broken glass off the floor. I lick my lips, and before I can think fully about my wording I speak in a gentle tone, "You know, Allura, you're… something else." Allura turns and blinks at me with a confused expression, and I shift positions, sitting with one foot under me with my head tilted to the side, "I'm just… really touched, I guess. You trust us to not only pilot the lions to try and save the universe, but you want to work alongside us to get that done, to lead the Voltron Coalition and be the figurehead of a powerful resistance." Allura's eyes shine like azure coins in the dim lighting, and I find myself grinning at her like I would smile at my mom, or my dad, or Conner, “Even though you barely know us, you just… threw yourself into it. You're brilliant, and calculating, yet you aren't afraid to act, you get shit done, and…” I pause, biting my lip as I realize I'm probably complimenting her a tad much before I rest a hand on her shoulder, "I just know that I'm really glad that you are the one who's guiding us. I honestly don't know what we'd do without you."

After a little moment of comfortable silence, Allura lets out a soft breath in a rush, "I… Thank you, Will." Her eyes close as she lowers her chin, bracing her hands on the front of her shins as she takes a deep breath in, and when she releases it she speaks in a measured, relaxed manner, "This was very nice. I appreciate you being so open to me, to treat me so… familiarly."

I shrug nonchalantly, "Of course!" I flicker my gaze across her features and after a moment Allura's hand rises up and runs a hand through her hair, braiding it loosely down her back and some long lost memory is triggered in my mind as I reach out a hand to touch it, but I stop myself just before I do. She pauses her hands as she sees mine raised, so I give her a sheepish smile, "Hey, Allura? … Can I braid your hair?" 

Allura raises her eyes at me in surprise, staring for a solid minute before she slowly nods, shifting her back to me so I have better access. I slowly run my fingers through her hair, and immediately I'm in awe at how, despite the length being at least to her waist, it isn't at all tangled. I had hair this long once upon a time, and I'll be damned, when I brushed that shit for two hours, five seconds later it would be tangled again. Some people with long, thin hair wouldn't have this problem as bad, but everyone with thick hair, long like this or as short as their shoulders, struggled. Allura's hair is thick, thicker than I was expecting, but it shares that trait nonetheless; it's silky under my fingertips as I divide her hair into sections, like the filigree silk in corn husks, and with gentle tugs I braid Allura's hair down her back. Her hand rises from her lap and to her brow, and I see from beneath her hair that her crown rests just above her ears, the main point of contact on her temple but it isn't circular, as in it doesn't go all the way around her head like I was expecting. It's a half circle, stopping just under her hair above her ear. Allura touches the thin, golden metal, the little crystal nestled in the center shining a soft light onto her palm as she straightens it while I work on her hair.

When I reach the middle of Allura's back her hands return to her lap, and I murmur gently under my breath, "I don't know personally, but… I think I can understand how having a title can be lonely sometimes." Allura peers over her shoulder at me with a surprised gaze as I persist, "But you're not alone, not really. You're the only one with royal blood here, but that doesn't mean that we can't be friends. In fact, I'd rather quite like to be friends, and I know the others feel the same."

Allura smiles as she slowly pushes her legs out in front of her from our seat on the pedestal, and I see that she is wearing soft, little pink slippers.  _ That's just endearing. _  "You're quite wise for your young years, Will."

I glance at her between my work braiding her hair,  _ damn  _ her hair is fucking thick, and a sudden question poking its way onto my tongue, "You know, I've been meaning to ask... it's a rather personal question, so don't answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but… how old are you?"

Allura raises an eyebrow at me, "Much older than you, for certain. Altean lifespans extend for about 800 to 900 years." 

I blink in shock and let out a low whistle, "Yep, you're definitely older than me. How old are you?"

"I'm 176." Allura answers, tapping her lips as she adds with a bittersweet tone, "Well, I suppose I'm 1,176 now, but... nonetheless." 

I chuckle a little and pat her shoulder blade gently in between working my fingers through the ends of her hair before I return to the task at hand, "So like… are you technically grown up? Like, on a scale of one to ten, ten being absolutely ancient and one being a newborn..." 

Allura's laughter rings in the enclosed space like a bell, and it takes her a moment to answer, "... I'd say about… three, I suppose?" 

"A three?" I ask, raising my eyebrow at her, "So, you're about a fourth of your way through your life cycle… So I think in human years that's like, what, 20?"

Allura giggles as I slowly loop her hair over her shoulder, her deft fingers trailing over my work on her hair, "... If you say so." She turns back to face me, an eyebrow raised, "You did quite well, thank you."  

I shrug a little in response with a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of my neck as I return my focus to wrapping my head around this concept.  _ 800 to 900 years as the norm. Wow.  _ ”Okay, wow, that's amazing. I mean, I figure your metabolism and stuff must be different because you're, you know, another species, but you look so similar to humans to me that I forget that sometimes, you know? … 800 to 900 years? Wow.”

Allura laughs softly under her breath, covering her mouth with her hand as she remarks, "I suppose I see what you mean, although you humans do have _  horribly _  ugly ears."

I snicker, "I suppose so, they're pretty funky." I touch my own with a slight smile as I examine Allura's own pointed ears. "You know, when I first saw you, I swore that you were an elf. Now knowing your lifespan is so long… Maybe you actually are." I can't help but smile as I chuckle, "Maybe Tolkien met a stray Altean once or something, and that's how he invented them."

Allura blinks at me stupidly, "I'm sorry, a what?"

"An elf." I answer, and her persistently confused expression fills me with excitement.  _ I love talking about fantasy, and now I can educate someone who has never heard of it, or perhaps even the vague idea of it? Oh man, this is gonna be  _ **_awesome._ **

 "You see, there once was this writer back on Earth named J.R.R. Tolkien." I begin with an animated wave of my hands, and I can  _ feel  _ the excitement rising in my throat, ”He wrote this ancient text called the Lord of the Rings like, a 150 years ago. He was a linguist, I think, and wrote fantasy novels of his own world based off of a language that he invented from scratch, which is  _ so  _ cool I can't even imagine how hard that must've been, with the cultural differences and…” I blink, realizing I'm getting sidetracked so I clear my throat with a pause, "Well, anyway, in this world he made, there are different races all living together, actually different races, though, not like what I mentioned earlier. There were humans, goblins, dwarves, orcs, and one of those races were called elves." Allura tilts her head at me like a puppy listening to a police siren for the first time, I feel my hands moving with every word I speak like they're composing a song, "Elves were immortal, fair beings with pointed ears." I gesture to Allura's, who's eyes widen at this, and I continue with excited hand motions, "When his books got popular, which is a fair bit after he wrote it, just before he died, people got really excited about the books, and the creatures within. They just sort… became a thing. Elves don't exist on Earth, but there's this overall base where all fantasy stories come from, and Lord of the Rings is what made that foundation, so elves, orcs, goblins, all stories that were made in the fantasy genre were built one on top of the other from there. I once wrote a paper about how the idea of elves probably generated from Tolkien as parallelism to mankind's mentality. Like, we see ourselves as flawed people who generally make lots of mistakes all the time, and elves are the idealized image of perfection, from their appearance, to their culture. Essentially, elves were Tolkien's idea of who truly perfect humans were, and the actual humanity in the books are what they really were, which is generally easily corruptible and primitive-"

I blink when I realize that I'm about two words away from reciting my paper, and as I check back into the conversation I see that Allura's eyes are glazed over from the assault of information. I totally just ranted about the Lord of the Rings. _  Wow, I am such a fucking nerd for vintage stuff. _  "Err... sorry... that was a really drawn out explanation." I mumble awkwardly, smiling sheepishly at Allura, "Basically, yeah, pointed ears, made me think of that, so that's who I thought you were until you introduced yourself fully."

Allura's expression seems to snap back to the present and she smiles politely, "That's... interesting. I don't recall that our explorations drew us to your solar system, but I suppose it is possible that an Altean explorer might have been stranded there at some point in time."

I chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck as I turn to look at Allura, “Wow, that got really really sidetracked from where I originally meant to go with this. Back to the original point, I uh…” I glance at Allura as I return to my previous thoughts, my wonder of just how Allura's maturity lined up with her actual maturity, but it's impossible to know because I don't really have a good understanding of Altean lifespans.  _ Fuck it, just dive in.  _ "I just… I asked about your age before because you also seem so... wise and thoughtful." I peer down at her little pink shoes hidden just beneath her blue gown before I rise to return her gaze, "And other times, I wonder if you're putting on a spectacularly brave face for the sake of the mission."

Allura is quiet for a moment, and I see a faint smile on her lips, "That's kind of you to say. I feel that perhaps it's a bit of both." She takes a deep breath as she slowly turns and looks back at the pedestal behind her with a distant gaze. The hourglass I notice now that I'm looking at it, is rotating slowly, like it's on display at a museum. Beneath the hourglass, where the basin that's circling the room couldn't get to, rests a rather large shard of glass, about as big as the palm of my hand. Interested, I pick it up, and turn it over in my hand. On one side is a filmy blue essence, long dried against its surface like Windex, and the other side reflects the faint starry light of the sides of the room.

"This is where my father's memory was stored." Allura answers the question I hadn't thought to ask, her eyes sad as she peers into the shard in my hand. I see her reflection off of its glossy surface, soft, warped, and mournful.

"I'm so sorry, Allura." I murmur tenderly, moving to better face her with the glass shard at hand, "I can't imagine what pain you're going through... Or how that you seem to bear your burden as well as you do."

Allura expression morphs into determination, knitting her brow together, "It is because I must. To defeat Zarkon."

I watch as Allura's hands wander to her side and ball into her nightgown. Compelled, I reach forward with my free hand and clasp her right hand in mine. She blinks at me as I do this, but her fingers relax as I murmur softly, "It's a true testament to your inner strength." I gently place the piece of glass in her palm, folding it into her hand as I murmur, "I can't even imagine the scale of grief that you must feel, but I'm in awe at your persistence. At the end of the day you don't have to continue fighting, but you do, and that's admirable."

Allura looks up at me, and opens her mouth to argue, but before she can I shake my head, "I know you think it isn't really an option to stop fighting, but it is. If being the White Paladin has taught me anything, it's that the choices most obvious to us are never the only ones, especially when it looks like there is only one option." She blinks at me in surprise, her eyes wide and brilliantly blue, but I find the words speaking for themselves using my lips as a vessel, "You could decide to give up. To run away, to hide, but you didn't, you don't." Allura's mouth closes as I gently hold her hand in mine, "Every day, you get up, you rally us, the Paladins, and you fight. It is because of that choice, your choice, not to give up that I admire your strength. Not because of what you've overcome, but because you continue to overcome it everyday."

Allura's mouth opens like she wants to speak, but after a moment's silence her mouth clams shut, her gaze glued to the glass shard in her hand. I release her hand and rest mine on my knees as she regards the glass when suddenly, without warning, she lunges forward and hugs me tightly around my shoulders. I can feel her hands clasped around the shard on my back, and her face pressed into my collarbone. I wrap my arms around her warmly as I struggle not to choke on the amount of white hair in my face, and I can faintly hear her whisper by my ear, "Thank you, Will."

I smile a little and pull away after a moment and touch her shoulder, "Okay, so not to put a damper on our bonding moment, but aren't you supposed to be resting?"

Allura laughs and shakes her head in a jovial manner, "You sound just like Coran."

I grin brightly and twirl an imaginary mustache, my voice dropping in a satirical manner, "See, I told you the night was still young and I'd find a reason to chastise you!" I do a mockery of Coran's voice, which causes Allura to snort and cover her mouth with wild laughter. I rise to my feet and hold out a hand to help her up. She takes it with a grateful smile, one that's brighter than any I've ever seen on her face. She releases my hand once we've risen, and together we exit the room.

She stops at the break in the hall, one that I believe heads back to her quarters. I stop beside her as she stares down at the glass shard in her han before she turns and looks at me with an incredibly friendly and amicable gaze,  "I'm glad you found me, Will. You're definitely the White Paladin that Voltron needs, and deserves." Without another word, she turns and walks down the hall and enters a room at the far end, leaving me stunned and a bit abashed.

I trudge back to my room, feeling particularly warm and fuzzy, like I just watched a Hallmark Christmas movie.

It was… really  _ really _ good to get that off my chest, talk to Allura and get to know her better, but also to help her as well. Pain is relative, and my homesickness pales before her sorrow, but I'm glad that I was able to help, if just a little, while also helping myself. I got a better understanding for Allura, and I think she now has a better understanding of me, too. I feel… I feel that I just gained a friend.

But honestly, this emotional vulnerability thing is completely  _ exhausting.  _

I trudge back to my room, sleep and fatigue dragging at my limbs with every step I take, and as my head hits the pillow I drift into peaceful thoughts of pine needles and tart cookies.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---
> 
> **Thing: did
> 
> Dick: out
> 
> I've been forcibly removed from the Voltron Fandom
> 
> I AM STRUGGLING SO MUCH because Allura just.. she is one of those characters that purposefully never allows herself to be vulnerable to be strong, and she keeps herself busy to avoid bonding moments with the team in order to improve that distance, so I feel like Will and her haven't been able to bond yet because of it. I'm not sure how to do it yet, but I think this is the key. 
> 
> \--update, I figured out how to do it, and I did it, #teambonding that tHEYLL BOTH REMEMBER. (am I bitter? Yes. Like a goddamn raw ginger root)
> 
> Let me know whatcha think, for those of y'all who for some reason are still reading this


	15. Information and Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time for reflection is over as Team Voltron decides their new course of action. The universe is massive, where can they possibly strike first to best weaken Zarkon? Once he knows his enemies have Voltron, the game will change, so they have to use their stealth while they still can. The key may just lie in the memories of the very enemy they seek to defeat.  
> \---  
> **SOME MORE NSFW at the beginning of this chapter, including non-con/ memories of. Please take care of yourself, know what your boundaries are. If it's too much then skip the italic section, it won't really affect the overall storyline, its for a better picture of Will & Damien's past relationship**

_ "I didn't know this was your favorite place." I say as we slide into the booth, the red leather squeaking as I maneuver to sit across from Damien. His sky blue eyes glitter with amusement at me as he slides across from me, his hands on the table as he shrugs nonchalantly. His hair has grown out a little longer, in an undercut fashion with the dirty blond locks hanging in front of his eyes alluringly. He's always been handsome, but now, with his newer rugged look thanks to the semi monthly regulated Garrison haircuts, it's reached a new level. _

_ "Hi, what can I get you started for today?" I turn to the waiter with my chin in my hand before I snap my gaze back down to the menu. Oh shit, right. Food. _ _ "We'll have two burgers and fries, and a chocolate milkshake." Damien answers for me. _

_ The waiter's gaze flickers between us with a raised eyebrow as he jots it down before he glances over at me, "What do you want?"  _

_ Damien's eyebrows furrow as he snaps his fingers at the waiter, "Hey, I said he wanted a-" _

_ "Damien, it's okay." I murmur softly, and his gaze snaps to me and for a moment my blood feels like his eyes, icy and cold. I avoid his gaze as I glance at the waiter, "I'd like number 3, please.” That should soothe his ire; it’s less expensive than what he was ordering anyway. _

_ "Sure thing, I'll get that rung up for you." The waiter doesn't seem to notice this miniature exchange as he writes down my order on his pad before he turns and walks away.  _

_ As I look over at Damien, the scenery suddenly melts before me. Everything around me warps and melts to... my room? Yeah, this is my room. That's my keyboard rested against the wall, my desk, my guitar, my drawers, my window with the green curtains- _

_ I land on my bed on my stomach. I blink and look down at the familiar, deep green cover with orange and red flowers embroidered around its base when I feel it, like I'm being ripped in half from the inside. I grasp onto the sheets and cry out in pain, but as I attempt to squirm away from the pain two hands grab my hips and pull me back, spreading my legs with one smooth motion.  _

_ "You're mine. You're all mine." Damien's voice is hot in my ear, and I bite down on the back of my hand as he thrusts into me. My other hand desperately claws at the wall, and as soon as I'm able to bring myself out of the soaked pain I sob, "Please, Damien, I don't-"  _

_ "If you didn't want it, then maybe you shouldn't have flirted with that waiter." Damien snarls, and one of his hands leave my hips and curl into my hair. With a vicious tug he pulls me to my knees and I let out a sharp cry as the new sensation rips something entirely new in me, it hurts like hell when he doesn’t bother to prepare me like this.  _

_ "I wasn'-Nn! Damien, please, I-" Damien releases my hair and I take a breath as the pain washes over me anew, his thrusts erratic and rough and grinding like sandpaper inside me. His hand clasps around my throat and brings me up fully onto my knees, his chest pressed to my back as he starts choking me, his hips snapping back and ripping fresh pain through me at the new angle. At least it's almost over, he only ever chokes me when he's close, but I can't stop the pained sob as his teeth graze the skin just next to my pulse beneath my jaw. Then comes his voice, dripping in venom, curls into my ear,"You're mine. You keep seeming to forget that." _

_ His hips stall for a moment and I suck in breath as his grip temporarily disengages before he plows inside all the stronger, and my scream is choked off immediately as his fingers bite into my Adam's apple. I can barely hear him over the absolute agony washing over my being coupled with the fresh burn in my lungs,  _ **_I need air_ ** _ , "So now, you won't have to remember. No one wants sloppy seconds. No one wants a broken toy. So I'll make you both. Then no one will want you but me."  I close my eyes against the white-hot pain as I realize it's not over. It's not going to be over any time soon.  _

_ No.  _

_ Stop.  _

_ The pain alleviates immediately. I blink as I'm able to breathe again, and I keel over and cough, clutching my chest as air rushes into my lungs again. I… my shirt's in tatters. My pants are gone. That really happened. I can't believe I let that happen to me. I should've… fought. I should've struggled harder, I should've said something… Maybe I should've just let him order that fucking burger. _

_ "Will, are you okay?" I flinch as I hear a familiar voice, and immediately I wish I could be anywhere else. I open my eyes and meet the gaze of my mom and dad, kneeling on the floor in front of me with wide eyes.  _ _ As soon as I realize what's happening I jump and cover myself with my bed sheets as quickly as I can manage, pulling the duvet up to my throat as I snap, "Don't look at me! Don't look at me-!"  I shut my eyes again, even though it won't make them go away maybe it'll at least keep me from seeing the disappointment, the horror dawning in their eyes. I don't want to see it, I don't- _

_ A warm hand extends to me and gently cups my face, a touch so warm I find my voice dying in my throat. I blink, and my parents are gone. Shiro? Shiro's kneeling in front of my bed back in my house, his prosthetic is resting on my covers. His eyes are so... gentle. Understanding. They're the clouds before a powerful thunderstorm, the stone of the mountains as he murmurs, "It's not your fault, Will."  _

_ I blink at him with shock, and I find I can't speak. My mouth won't move. I reach my fingers to touch my lips and find my mouth is sewn shut, and as soon as my fingers touch my lips they sting like the thread just ran through my skin. Blood dribbles down my face and smears on my fingertips, but when I look up at Shiro with wide eyes he doesn't even seem phased, his steady gaze firmly on mine. Doesn't he see the blood? Can't he see I can't speak?  _

_ I feel more gazes on me, and I'm no longer in my room. I'm sitting in the middle of my school, right smack in the middle with my duvet and all, of the cafeteria. I feel the number of eyes on me that I physically cannot help myself from feeling at their judgmental stares, no matter how tightly I close my eyes. No one moves, no one speaks, but no one needs to. The simple fact I know that I’m here is enough. _

_ I feel the burning in my throat as the tears slide down my face, and I close my eyes to block any more, but some fall before I can stop them. I'm sorry you, all of you, had to see me like this. _

I start awake in a cold sweat, my room completely dark save the soft blue echo of light beneath my door. I reach over and tap on the holographic panel next to my bed to bring up the clock and see that it's one in the morning.  _ Fucking hell.  _

Exhaustion seeps into my bones, and I find myself closing my eyes once more as I lay back on my pillow.  _ Great. Now I'm getting new dreams, different dreams. I wish we could go back to the whole 'sleep then wake up' thing, cause that was nice. I'd even take back those horrible dreams, those tests that the White Lion had given me for my entire life, because at least those are familiar. _

_ I'll… maybe if I think of something else. Something happy, something good, I can dream about something else.  _

I take a deep breath and force myself to relax.  _ Alright. Relax.  _

_ Relax.  _

_ Relax.  _

I tap the holographic panel beside me to see how much time has passed. 1:40am.  _ This isn't working. I'm too worked up to sleep.  _

I roll onto my stomach stubbornly and glare at the wall when my heart seizes in my chest. 

There's someone sitting by my dresser. 

I stare at them for several seconds, my breath stalled in fear, but they don't move, not a single muscle. 

_ Who the fuck…  _

I lash out as fast as I'm able. I grab my pillow and fling it at the figure to distract them while I race to my armor perched against the wall. I wave my hand along the strip and summon my bayard, and I activate its lance form and extend a bladed end towards the figure with rapid breath. 

They haven't moved a single muscle from where they sit in front of my dresser. 

Frowning, I reach forward with my lance, and I poke them. Something light touches the end, nothing I'd expect from a person. 

I turn on my bedroom light. 

It's just Keith's jacket, hanging off of a drawer handle. 

_ For fucks sake, I'm such a fucking idiot.  _

I drop my bayard on the ground with a sigh as it returns to my suit, and I turn the light back off, getting back in bed. I start to close my eyes when a thought comes to me, a terribly homosexual thought.

_ Maybe... maybe if I sleep with Keith's jacket... he smells so nice, maybe it'll calm me down enough to fall asleep. _

_ That's a terrible fucking idea. _

_ But... I'm really fucking tired. I want to sleep. _

_ Oh,  _ **_fuck me._ **

Slowly, I roll out of bed and grab Keith's jacket where it hangs on the post with a loud groan, protesting loudly to myself for agreeing to this stupid idea.  _ God, this jacket is fucking ugly, and that's just being nice. Why this red, why the yellow stripe across the chest, why does it have white racing stripes down the arms, and most importantly why the fuck does it have a popped white collar? _ It's honestly the most 2080's thing I've ever seen, and it's  _ nasty.  _ But Keith looks surprisingly good in it, which is fortunate because he apparently has not just this one, but  _ more  _ of these monstrosities. It's soft on the inside, the texture’s like sweatpants, and it’s rough and scratchy on the outside like a windbreaker. Slowly I pull it to my chest, burying my face into the collar.  _ Christ. I feel so fucking stupid right now. This is a new gay low, even for me. _

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Leather, worn and well-used, salt. Gritty and rough yet the smell seems to smooth the rough edges of my mind like sandpaper…  

_ I'm pressed against my dresser, Keith's hands are firmly planted on its smooth white surface behind me with his forehead rested against mine. I feel that this is a dream, it has that quality of surreal motion that everything is too slow and too fast all at once, but not… in a bad way. It’s not nauseating like it sometimes can be. It’s like I’m underwater. "You just need to relax." He whispers, his gaze flickering downward to my jaw before they lock back onto mine. They're so beautiful, glimmering a deep blue-black like the abyss of space, illuminated with freckled stars like ripples in a lake. Damn right I need to relax. _

_I feel his lips brush mine and I grab the front of that fucking ugly jacket and pull him to me. I kiss him, and he kisses me, soft, gentle, passionate,_ ** _fuck_** _it’s exactly what I was hoping for. His hips press against mine and I weave my fingers beneath his jacket and into his shirt, soft black like his hair. His lips are hungry, he presses closer and he melts against me with harder persistence and I match his intensity immediately. Nothing else matters. Nothing but Keith, and I want nothing else. He bites my lip with something deep and rumbling from his chest like the gentle growl of an apex predator and I can’t help but moan, I’m clay beneath him and it’s amazing. He drinks in the sound as his hands grasp the hem of my shirt, and he breaks away only for a moment to pull it over my head before his lips return to mine, hungry and wanting and hot._ _Fuck, it’s hot. I grab the front of his jacket and yank it over his shoulders with shaking, eager fingers. He shrugs it off quickly and suddenly the kiss morphs, it’s more frantic, his teeth graze my lower lip, it’s already sensitive from the last time he bit me and it’s so deliciously painful that I kiss him hungrily, the game has changed. Fuck, I’m drowning in him and it’s all I ever wanted._

_ I weave my fingertips into his hair with my forearms resting on his shoulders, I feel his hands move to my waist. He threads his fingers through the belt loops on the sides of my jeans and presses me against him, and I shiver immediately in pure excitement. I suck on his bottom lip, curling my fingers into his hair and bringing him closer as his hands glide up my bare sides. The softest, barest of moans, raw and primal escapes from between his lips against mine and words can't describe how my entire body reacts to the sound, it's purely a religious experience. I want to hear more. Now.  _

_ I push him backwards with my palms on his chest and he looks at me with a curious gaze, like he wasn’t just kissing me breathless. I push him down wordlessly until the back of his knees hits the edge of my bed and he sits with a surprised noise. I kneel on the ground in front of him. "Keith," I whisper, my voice is so broken and heady that in any normal situation I'd be embarrassed, but this isn't normal. The way Keith is looking at me with such wide-eyed interest is not normal but in the _ _ best fucking way _ ,  _ I want-  _

_ "I wanna taste you." I whisper, my breath hot against his lips as I kneel in front of him, my hands wandering up his chest and to his shoulders before slowly gliding lower. The fabric of his shirt is soft under my fingertips, and the hitched breath and jump of his skin beneath is utterly gratifying as I pause my hands on his thighs, looking at him with hooded eyes to convey  _ **_exactly_ ** _ what I want.  _

_ Keith's cheeks are bright red as he swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing appetizingly, and I balk when I see him hesitate. Before terror can settle in me he gives me the barest of nods, taking a rapid breath as he pushes his hair out of his face with raking fingers. He's nervous, I see it in the way his breath jumps with every inch of his body my hands touch, a look I recognize from a dim memory. I’ll go slow, work up to it so he doesn’t feel afraid, or turn me down and run away to never be seen again.  _

_ I move a knee beside him to join him on my bed and he falls back onto his elbows, staring up at me with those dark eyes I want to get lost in, they’re so fucking beautiful,  _ **_he’s_ ** _ so fucking beautiful. I hover over him, propping myself on a forearm before leaning down to kiss him again, gentle, slow. His eyes fall closed as his head falls back a little, his shoulders relaxing and sinking down into the covers, like he’s basking in sunlight. I trace my hands from his shoulders to his chest, testing my boundaries, but his only response is to kiss me with a barest increase of intensity. I wedge one of my thighs between his legs, and his breath jumps, ghosting against my lips. I pause to peer at him, but he doesn’t look like he feels off or uncomfortable. He looks  _ **_delicious_ ** _ , his eyes fallen closed with his hands resting on either side of head with a shaking, raspy breath that rocks my being. Wow, he’s gorgeous. I slide my lips to his jawline and I feel his hands glide to the middle of my back, the blunt of his nails digging into the bare skin and I almost lose all my resolve to keep things slow on the spot. _

_It's torture, to go so slow like this, but it's the best kind of torture, it’s a delicious torture. I want to drag this out as long as I physically can, memorize his every angle and curve and mark, but I also want to fucking devour him, right here, choke down his cock down my throat so hard he's grabbing my hair and bucking his hips and moaning unhindered…_ _But what's even better is Keith's expression as I kiss his jaw, teething gently at the sensitive skin under his ear and above his pulse as his hands leap to my shoulders, his fingernails dragging against the skin as a bare moan slips out like a secret. His voice echoes in my mind like a choir in a temple and I want to hear the chorus. I drag my lips to his collarbone and continue to feel blindly for boundaries, working my way through to find what’s comfortable, what’s safe. My hands slide under his shirt and his stomach sucks into his spine at the touch as he gasps, I swallow the sound with a kiss. He's built, all those hours of training making him strong and lithe and agile, his skin is soft beneath my touch and God do I want to feel more. I push up his shirt as I suck a little roughly on the hollow of his throat and Keith lets out a bare whimper, a sound so unlike him I pause to glance at him in worry. He's gone, his eyes shut with his lips slightly parted, his hair wild and curled along my sheets like crests of the ocean at midnight in a white sky. God, he's so fucking beautiful._

_ I trail my lips lower, shifting my body until I'm lying in between Keith's legs. His thighs shift to either side of me and something spikes in my veins, tasting like honey. I want to see how far I can go from here, I really want to grind on him and see if he’ll melt beneath me but this isn’t about me. This is about him. I won’t let what I want get in the way and potentially scare him away, I have no idea if he’s ready to know just how much I’m starving. I leave open mouthed, hungry kisses along his ribs and then lower, steadily lower. Immediately he threads his fingertips through my hair and tugs on it, not too rough but it’s with purpose, his other hand traces the line of my jaw in a curious manner that leaves me shivering. I love his touch, I crave it, I want more, but more than that I want to make Keith feel the same. I want him to want me.  _

_ I press my lips to his lower stomach and his breath hitches. I try not to smirk too much about it as I grind my palm on the outside of his pants. The game changes. Keith sucks in breath with something rough rousing from his throat, and I glance up at him just as he sits up on his elbows to watch me. His dark eyes are hooded and filled with black heat that I have to just stop and stare for a moment, at the wild curl of his hair to his shoulders, stark against his skin like a raven caught in the snow. Bed-head's a look that truly suits him.  _

_ "Do you like it when I touch you here?" I whisper with a coy smile gracing my lips, before pressing them to the outside of his pants. I can feel him beneath, indistinct but hot, he’s hard as hell- _

_ Keith gasps, and his eyes fall shut with a pinched brow and I'm rocked when I hear him whisper, a bare moan that's so soft I wouldn't have heard it if I wasn't listening to him with bated breath as the sound screams through my soul.  _

_ "...Will..."  _

I hear something loud hit the ground followed by a shriek from outside of my door, shocking my eyes open. I hear Lance grumbling angrily about something before all falls silent once more. __ I'm lying on my stomach, and I feel Keith's jacket is mostly wadded up and wrapped around my pillow. I close my eyes again, and just as I want to dive back into the dream I realize what I was dreaming about, the  _ context  _ of why I was dreaming about it. I swallow and shove the memory of it so far down that it never reappears again, but feeling the receding warmth I realize that I’ve already had my fill of the dream’s ascent.

_ Fuck.  _

_ I'm pretty sure I just had a wet dream about Keith. While sleeping with his fucking jacket.  _

_ I need to give this back to him immediately.  _

I sit up and run a hand through my hair, burying my face into my hands with a long sigh.

I shall have a slow start to my day, simply because I can. For once, I didn't wake up to invading or attacking Galra, or inside of a healing pod, so I take full advantage of it. I take a shower and change my clothes, brush my teeth, eat breakfast in blissful quiet, all the while taking my sweet time as I revel in the quiet. When I return to my room, I see the White Lion’s stone resting on my dresser where I’d left it after Lance gave it back to me, glimmering in the low light. For some reason I feel compelled to take it, reaching out and looping the chain over my neck. Immediately I’m met with a burst of energy, like I just got shocked. I blink and look down at the stone with a raised eyebrow but I don’t see anything amiss, and once the sensation dies it’s like it never happened. Frowning, I shake my head and finish pulling my clothes on.

Most importantly, I force the memory of my dreams into the deep recesses of a little box I keep in a dusty corner of my brain with the label  _ 'Don't fucking touch this'. _ It's quite effective, until it gets too full, but then after I kick it a few times it goes quiet enough for me to shove it back again.

After getting ready for the day, I grab my bayard and head to the training floor.  _ Might as well get some practice in. I need to get better with my bayard, and I would like to hit a thing or two… Especially since we’re going to be diving into Sendak’s memories later.  _

I hear the sound of metal colliding with metal as I near the training floor, and as I walk in my heart drops to my stomach. I don't have to peer inside the room to know that Keith is there, training with his bayard with another holographic simulation, just like he does every morning.  _ Fuck, how could I have forgotten this _ . I peer around the doorway as quietly as I dare. He's dressed in his usual black with that utility belt that's too large for him and his knife strapped to the back, he swipes his sword through a holographic enemy with skill and precision. It flickers, the sequence coming to an end with a soft dinging noise as Keith had defeated the final enemy. 

I want to run away. I want to call it quits and escape, but Pidge’s voice comes to me,  _ ‘Yeah, treat him differently to show that you aren’t treating him differently’ _ .  _ I have to face him. I can’t ignore him without suspicion. This is my ultimate test, after last night, to see if I can hide it. _

_ Alright, Will. You can do this. I've got to act normal, act straight. Don't act like you just slept with his jacket last night.  _

"Do you ever stop training?" I call teasingly as I stride into the room, mentally applauding myself for sounding so lackadaisical and relaxed, because based on how fast my heart rate is, it's a fucking miracle. Keith turns to me with a raised eyebrow, wiping his forearm across his brow as he catches his breath.  _ There's absolutely nothing alluring or attractive about that, Will. There's nothing alluring or attractive about Keith being… sweaty…  _

"I can always be better." Keith states with a shrug, walking over to me with a slow and measured stride, "If we're gonna defeat Zarkon, we gotta be at our best." He stops just next to me and bends down to pick up his red water bottle from the ground.

I lean against the wall beside him and cross my arms with a lilted grin.  "Fair enough, can't argue with that."  _ Alright, good, we're doing good, keep it up, Straight Will.  _ I pause as we stand in comfortable silence, Keith drinking from his water bottle at intermittent intervals when I find the words to speak, "Yesterday, Lance said you got attacked by a robot. Were you training then too, when everything in the Castle went to shit?" 

Keith nods towards me, holding his water as he takes deeper, controlled breaths, "Yeah. I tried to end the simulation but it wouldn't, it just kept coming. I set it on too high a difficulty and ended up trying to run, and that's when I found Lance about to get sucked out of the airlock." He turns, pressing his back against the wall next to me as he continues to speak in a measured tone, "I got him out, and the robot got sucked out instead, and that's when we realized that the Castle was out to kill us." 

He glances over at me out of the corner of his eye as he takes another drink from his water bottle, "We went to try and find everyone to make sure everyone was okay. We found Hunk and Pidge in the Green Lion's hanger with the gravity turned off, and Coran was running diagnostic tests in the cryo-lab, he had no idea what was going on until we found him." He pauses suddenly, and glances over at me, "And when we headed towards the detainment chamber, looking for you and Shiro, that's when we heard you yelling for help down the hall." 

I falter a little, crossing my arms tightly over my chest. It suddenly feels rather cold. I turn to meet Keith's inexpressive gaze and force the chill from my mind, instead offering a slight smile,  "Thanks." Keith blinks at me like I'm stupid, so I quickly elaborate, "For saving me. I probably would've died if y'all hadn't found me." 

Keith is silent for a long time as he regards me with a measured gaze, one I can't quite read. His eyes are an enigma, deep, violet abysses that cloud and hide, so that I can never see what exactly he's thinking. Finally, he speaks with a slight perk at the corner of his mouth, "No problem. You really gotta work on not having anymore near-death experiences, though." 

I laugh, the action immediately relaxing my previous tension as I tilt my head, gazing across the training floor, "Aw, come on, there goes my Friday plans. Besides, I gotta keep y'all on your toes somehow!" I joke with a laugh and a grin over at Keith. He blinks at me with what I can best describe as a… starry-eyed expression. I’ve seen this look like, once before but it’s completely strange, I have no idea what it means. I find myself no longer laughing as I stare back at him and short circuit.  _ Oh no, did I laugh too hard? What am I doing that he's looking at me like that? What does that expression mean? Oh fuck me, I'm too gay for this, Straight Will, you're failing me here- _

Suddenly, Allura's voice cracks over the communicator that projects into the entire Castle, breaking whatever strange moment Keith and I held, "Paladins, please join me on the bridge, Sendak's memories have been fully loaded into the system."

I feel my breath stall in my chest. Keith’s face has melted back to his usual neutral expression, and he gestures with his chin towards the exit. We immediately set with all due haste towards the bridge, and I desperately try to pull myself together.  _ Okay, so maybe 'Straight Will' is a little too extreme, we can stick with Gay Will, or I guess in this case, Will. But lets try 'Gay Will that's  _ **_not_ ** _ gay for Keith' and hope for some vague success. Fucks sake. _

When we arrive, the others are gathered around the circle in the middle area with Allura at the center, and as Keith and I enter she turns to us with a gentle smile, "Oh good, you're here! I loaded Sendak's memories into the system, but it's a bit fragmented, and I can't seem to make any sense of it."

Allura appears… well rested. I hope she slept well. She is no longer in pajamas and is instead in her battle armor with her hair braided into a bun that rests on the nape of her neck.  _ I hope I was able to help her feel more at ease. And braiding her hair was actually quite nice, I'd forgotten how enjoyable that is. I definitely don't want long hair anymore, but playing with it on other people is pretty great. _

"I'm on it." Pidge immediately cries with determination from behind me, startling me out of my reverie. She races forward and slides into her chair on the left side of the bridge, bringing up the information on her holographic screen. She immediately begins typing in commands, the strange symbols reflecting off of her glasses as the data rolls in, they could be Altean for all I know. We cluster around Pidge's chair, peering over her shoulder with rapt interest.

"Somewhere inside Sendak's memories will be the inside information that gives us the key to taking down Zarkon." Allura says with a determined tone. Her expression is intense, looking down at the data with a sharp edge as Coran pops over her shoulder to peer down at Pidge work.

"I don't think your father would approve of searching through an enemy's memories like this." Coran says with a pointed look in Allura's direction, his mustache twitching like its own being as he speaks.  _ It's kinda funny that way.  _

Allura's determined gaze falters for a moment, "I know… But we have to do everything we can to defeat Zarkon."

Lance stands upright, shoving his hands in his pockets as he slides his gaze around at each of us, "Once we learn all his weaknesses, we can drive up to his front door and challenge him to a fight." Lance punches his own fist as a case in point, his eyes alight at the prospect, "Winner gets the universe!" He holds his arms out wide with his eyes closed in a victorious stance as we all watch his dramatic movements without response.  _ Not really feeling in the mood for your attempts at humor today. Sorry bud. _

Shiro turns and examines the holographic screen, crossing his arms in a relaxed fashion, "Anything good yet, Pidge?"

Pidge speaks without looking up from the screen, "Looks like we were only able to salvage bits and pieces."

Keith sighs, and I nearly jump out of my skin when I realize how close he is to my right, "We need something to work with. Right now, we don't even have a decent map of the Empire."  _ I swear he's like a fucking shadow he's so quiet. If he hadn't spoken, I don't think I would've noticed he was there. _

Lance crosses his arms with an incredulous noise, "Who needs a map? After a thousand years of conquering, I could probably fire my bayard into, like, any random point in space and hit a Galra ship."

Shiro lets out a pent up breath in frustration, "If we could just find troop locations, or supply routes, small targets we could hit and run… then we can start to free planets one by one."

Lance huffs, "Boring!" He looks up in the air with his fists raised, "I want the big kaboom!"

Hunk raises an eyebrow at Lance with his hands nervously twitching from where they're laid on the back of Pidge's chair, "If you want us to be the ones kabooming, which I don't think is a great plan."

Lance looks over his head when Shiro weights his two cents, "Zarkon's been building his empire for a thousand years, just like you said. We're not going to be able to tear it down overnight with six inexperienced pilots and one support ship." Shiro furrows his eyebrows as he moves his gaze to Pidge's holographic screen, "Hitting him where he lives would be a huge mistake."

I raise an eyebrow, "Or the last thing he would expect." Shiro looks at me with an unreadable gaze, save for the flash of potential argument in his gaze, but before he can get the chance to argue with me Pidge interrupts, "Okay! I've cross-referenced Sendak's memories with the info I got from the downed ship back on Arus. Most of it was a garbled mess, but one thing keeps repeating, something called a 'Universal Station.'" 

Pidge's hands fall to her lap as she reads a line of code on her screen, her eyes flitting back and forth as fast as the codes streaming across themselves, illustrating just how fast her mind is working.  _ Honestly, Pidge is so fucking smart. She's able to work with alien tech in an alien language doing complex... coding shit. My head spins just thinking about it. _

"Universal Station?" Hunk leans far over Pidge to examine the screen, much to Pidge's displeasure as she shoots him a glare, but he doesn't notice as he continues, "Like the kind of station that controls the entire universe?"

Pidge moves his head out of the way with a gentle push, "Well, we are translating it from Galra, so it could also be 'Galactic Hub.'"

Lance snaps his hands with finger guns, "What about 'Space Base?'" We all look at him with mixed looks of confusion, deadpan, and annoyance. He crosses his arms, indignantly, "What?"

I bite my lip pensively and break the silence, "Either way, it sounds like something important. Could be the key we're looking for."

Coran turns away and walks towards the front of the ship, "I'm pulling up the location of your Universal… Hub… Station… Base… on our screens now." He touches the holographic pedestal at his station and brings up a large holographic screen at the front of the ship. 

It shows a block of space with three astral bodies, two rather large planets flanking a smaller planet between them. One planet is green and navy blue, similar to Earth save that the greens are swirly and the blues look rocky. The other two bodies are both red and stony, like the Grand Canyon in appearance, although one is sandy yellow and the other a deep maroon. The deep maroon body is no bigger than a moon, caught suspended between the other larger two planets. Blue Altean circles encompass the planets as the ship's scanners analyze the space, and after a moment Altean symbols illuminate next to the planets, no doubt with helpful information that only Coran and Allura can read. _  I really need to learn Altean. The letters kind of look like elvish, if a bit curvier; Dad and I learned that pretty quick after devoting a whole summer to it, so maybe it’ll be similar? _

"So… Where is it?" Lance asks after a moment of silence.

"I don't know." Coran murmurs, typing into his keyboard as nothing continues to pop up, "Our long range sensors are unable to find anything at those coordinates."

Keith murmurs under his breath as he examines the planets with his arms crossed, "Maybe he remembered it wrong."

Pidge laces her fingers together under her chin, deep in thought, "Or maybe," Pidge speaks in a serious, matter of fact yet hushed tone, like someone could overhear, "We just stumbled across a top secret base in Sendak's memories." 

I can't help but feel my breath shorten at the prospect.  _ This might just be exactly the key we're looking for.  _

Allura breaks from the group and enters her circle in the center of the command chamber with a determined gaze, "Only one way to find out. Let's go take a look." Her pillars rise up to meet her palms as she engages the Castle's thrusters to proceed towards the coordinates.

"How far away are we?" I ask, and Allura taps her holographic screen with a determined, pensive look, "Just a tick or two, we were fortunate that where we've been stationed after the insanity yesterday is already close by."

We watch and await anxiously, and within the minute the three astral bodies dot the middle of the glass, getting closer and closer by the second. "We should be getting close enough to get a good scan, but far enough away that we can avoid being noticed." Allura says with a determined look after a long silence, her gaze fixed on the enlarging yellow planet.  _ We certainly got here really fast. _

I wonder at the massiveness of space, and how advanced technology the Alteans must have had a thousand years ago if traveling towards a planet is but a minute or two’s endeavor.  _ How long have they been developing as a society in order for their tech to be so advanced a  _ **_thousand_ ** _ years ago. A thousand years ago on Earth, it was... 1100s? 1120s? We didn't even know our planet's not the center of our solar system, we hadn't even discovered all of the lands on our continent yet. If Altea hadn't been destroyed... what technology might they have made in that time? What might have been discovered? What might have been…  _

We come around the far edge of the large, sandy looking planet, that now appears more and more like Saturn without rings as we skirt its edge, gassy and swirling like a sulfur storm. Around the cusp of the planet I see the blue-green planet a fair distance beyond, and in between the deep maroon planet.

However, protruding from its side, much to our surprise, is a massive Galra base that’s as big as the moon itself, planted like a spiky purple-black tumor on its side. There are several Galra cruisers loitering nearby in a protective ring, close to the core on the base's side of the moon.

"There it is." Shiro mumbles, looking up at it with wide eyes as we examine it from a distance. 

Coran brings up his hologram and types some commands, and holographic details pop up in Altean as he relays the information, "It appears the gravitation between the two planets warps the electron emission spectrum enough to keep this base off the deep space scanners!" I look at the hologram Coran’s reading off of and see the holographic depiction, like a tunnel that warps just around the planet. I notice that where the base and the cruisers circle the base all fall directly into that tunnel.  _ Completely intentional. _

"Okay," I mutter, "Definitely getting some top-secret base vibes here."

Pidge touches her chin thoughtfully, "So you can only see the if you know where to look. No one could just stumble across it." As we watch, a Galra cruiser exits the base at a slow pace, and one of the ones surrounding it move in. The cruisers stay within the tunnel, waiting in line.

"This base must handle shipments from all over the Galra empire." Shiro murmurs thoughtfully, his eyebrows furrowed.

Pidge shakes her head, "If this is just some big airport where shipments come and go, why is it hidden?"

Shiro replies with a determined gaze, "There must be more to this than we're seeing."

"Then we better go down to take a look." Allura cuts in with a fiery expression. She presses some buttons on her holographic keyboard, and brings up a large image of the top of the base, with a spiky top like a dunce cap, "We'll need to enter here, the central control building."

Keith glances over at Allura with a raised eyebrow, "I'm sorry, Princess, did you just say 'we'?"

"I'm going with you." Allura states in a matter of fact tone, her gaze flickering to Keith’s with a challenging expression, "I've traveled through the Galra transportation hubs many times with my father before the war began. I know more about them than any of you."

I frown a little and tilt my head to the side, "This is true, but, no offense, that was  _ before _ the war. A thousand years ago."

Allura meets my gaze fiercely as she adds, "Do you have better intelligence?"

That shuts me up quick.

Coran turns towards her with a deep frown, "Princess, I'd rather you stay here!"

Allura's gaze is determined and intense as she peers at Coran at his station just below her,  _ wow, symbolism _ , "I'm a part of this fight against Zarkon as much as anyone. I'm going." She turns her head to look at each of us with a particularly pointed look after her statement of finality, "Does anyone have a problem with that?"

We all are silent, turning Shiro for his formal decision. He blinks, and shrugs nonchalantly, "Fine by me. I think I have a plan." We move to gather around him as he speaks in a low register, "We'll go in with the Green Lion, low, fast, and hopefully undetected." He points to the yellow-ish gassy planet that the Castle of Lion's is hiding behind, "We'll be coming around the dark side of the planet, which should keep them from getting a visual on us." Shiro raises an eyebrow at Pidge, "Thanks to Pidge's modifications to the Green Lion, we'll have… what, thirty seconds of cloaking?"

Pidge nods affirmatively, "Yeah, only about thirty seconds, I'm still working out some kinks, the Green Lion's hardware is so intricate-"

Coran, surprisingly, cuts her off as he holds up a pointed finger, his expression like that of an excited puppy,  "Oh, and I can flood their short-range sensors with a radiation burst! That should buy you a minute or so, while they'll assume it's just cosmic interference.. But after that, it's up to you to be  _ out of sight _ ." He speaks with a pointed look at Allura, who doesn't seem to notice, or perhaps care. She notices that I'm looking and I swiftly give her a thumbs up and a big smile,  _ look, no problems with you coming here, you’re doing great! _ She seems to appreciate this, as her tensed expression softens.

"Alright, does anyone have any questions?" Shiro asks with a raised eyebrow at each of us.

I shake my head, speaking in the same low register, "We have got to be extremely careful. If the Galra have spent so much effort to hide this base, it's got to be for a reason. If they trip an alarm on us, not only is our cover blown, but Zarkon will know that we know about his secrets here."

Hunk nods in agreement and pipes up, "Yeah, we'll wanna stay on the DL as long as possible! I like that plan."

Shiro turns to us with a determined expression, "Exactly. Now, let's suit up, and recon at Pidge's lion in a couple ticks." We nod with determination and split off our separate ways.

I take my elevator down to my lion and head to the armory off to the side, where I’ve started to keep my suit rather than in my room, because _ it is far more convenient this way _ . I grab my suit and pull it on with all due haste. I struggled so much to don it before, but after about two weeks of practice I think I've finally gotten the hang of it, I’m able to get dressed in about a minute. I hurry to the Green Lion in its hanger to meet up with the others once I'm dressed, wasting as little time as possible as I feel my hands twitch with nervous energy. I hold my helmet under my arm as I enter the room, the others filtering in from their own hangers.

"Alright, mission two. Let's try not to fuck this up." I call with a bolsterous grin while Pidge embarks onto the Green Lion, its smaller frame already lying on the ground with its jaws open like a sleeping cat. It's the smallest of the 6 lions, the Red Lion just after, with mine being the rough middle. I realize now as I approach the Green Lion's teeth that I haven't been inside someone else's lion since we originally came here in the Blue Lion.  _ I wonder if it's much different inside. _

"We'll be fine so long as we stick together and keep low." Shiro answers comfortingly, patting me on the shoulder as we stride up into Pidge's piloting cabin.

"This is so cool!" Lance grins, pumping his fist in the air behind me as I turn to look at him, "It's like we're secret agents, breaking in and stealing the info, then getting back out with a dramatic blast!"

"Yeah, uh, that's a no from me on the dramatic blast." Hunk says with an anxious noise as we spill in to the cabin, and I allow myself a slight smile. Pidge slides into her seat, the Green Lion's controls flaring to life as she adds, "Yeah, otherwise Zarkon will know we were here."

"You guys are really harshing my vibe, today." Lance grumbles, crossing his arms as I grab a hold on the back of Pidge's seat. I chuckle at him in condolence as the Green Lion rises from its resting position. When the lion shifts I pull my helmet on from where I had it under my arm with a determined look out the eyes of the Green Lion as Pidge engages her com, "Alright, Coran, we're on our way out. Send out the burst in a couple ticks, once we land on the moon."

"Will do, Number six!" Coran calls.

Pidge scowls as she opens her hanger, "Why does he call me by my height rank, but none of you guys? That's unfair."

Hunk shrugs in a nonchalant manner, "Probably because "six" just rolls of the tongue easier. Or maybe he can't pronounce Pidge?"

Pidge tilts her head as the hanger doors slide open, and she eases the Green Lion out, "Hmm, you know, since we met that alien with the transladazine, I've been wondering, do you guys have those?"

Allura answers with a smile towards me, "Yes, we both have transladazines. I can also assure you that Coran can pronounce your name… but I think his preference is more along the lines of… His personality?" Allura tiptoes with a political smile, and I can't help but chuckle.  _ That certainly is his personality, isn't it? He's a bit eccentric. I wonder if he’s always been that way or if it’s just since he emerged from the cryo-pod. _

Allura's vision refocuses as light filters into the cabin as we cusp around the dark side of the planet, "Alright, let us focus, it's imperative we aren't spotted."

"Roger that." Pidge answers with a determined gaze and presses the Green Lion forward around the shadow of the planet, looping back towards the back end of the base, "Initiating cloak." She states as she presses a button, and the outside metal of the Green Lion suddenly wavers like concrete or cement on a hot day. We glide silently across the expanse of space between the planet and the Galra base moon, and I don't think any of us let out a breath until a few seconds after Pidge landed the lion on the moon's surface less than half a minute later. She touches the lion's paws down just behind a massive boulder on top of a craggy cliff-face that oversees the Galra base below, out of line of sight from the base and the circling Galra cruisers, and she touches her helmet with a sharp bark, "Alright Coran, now!" 

"Sending out the jamming signal!" Coran's piping response calls over the com, and it's immediately followed by static. It makes sense that the radiation wave would affect our coms, but I turn down the volume of the audio as the static jumbles my brain.

"Alright, keep low." Shiro rumbles over the noise, and Allura's gaze grows fierce as she engages her helm to cover her face. Her suit is different from ours, but different still from the ones she gave to Keith and I for our mission to get the White Lion. It has the belt, the armor plates overtop the suit and Voltron’s winged symbol across her chest, but the highlights she wears are a soft pink, which seems to be her favorite color based on the amount of times I’ve seen her wear it. I guess it makes sense that she has her own suit, since she's royalty and the Castle of Lions is hers.

"Follow me, I know the best method to get to the command center." She murmurs just barely loud enough for me to hear through her helmet and over the static, so we follow her out of the Green Lion and onto the red moon. As soon as the door of the Green Lion opens into its mouth I can feel the gravity is lower, like I slowly descended under water without realizing it. I bring up my suit's computer to investigate the atmosphere as we filter out into space. It pings softly as it calculates and based on the graph it produces we're essentially in dead space, just like the Moon around Earth. There are trace elements of sulfur and nitrogen, but beyond that there isn't much that differentiates this place from open space save for the planet's minor gravity.  _ Cool cool.  _

We stride forward, engaging our packs briefly to jump over crevices in the blood red stones as we descend towards the base. I have a little bit of trouble as I'm still woefully untrained in the art of low-gravity movement, and at one point I jump just a bit too hard and as fear crawls into my throat Hunk's large hand grabs the belt on my suit and hauls me back. I let out a breath of relief and give him the most sincere look of  _ thank-you-you-fucking-angel.  _ He gives me a jovial thumbs up before we continue on. We manage to stay together as we descend, which is a miracle considering how it feels like I forgot how to walk, bouncing around and falling over. I nearly face plant at least three times, each time getting tugged back up by Hunk, who's taken up permanent residence behind me to ensure that I don't fly off into space.  _ Jesus Christ, I wonder if there’s a zero gravity simulator in the Castle somewhere where I can practice this, since, you know, we’ll be in space for a while, I need to know how to travel in it. _ As we approach the base, one of the cruisers begins to come in and the other begins to exit, and Shiro, who's at the head of the pack, ducks behind a jutting stone. I, for once, actually manage to join him and the others to take cover behind the rock without getting grabbed by Hunk until the transition passes,  _ just in case.  _ Before long we're back on the descent downward. 

Allura leads us to a doorway on the outside of the facility near the back edge, barely giving us any sight of the interior of the base below. It's only until we approach that I realize it's not so much a doorway as a chute, about just wide enough for Hunk to fit through, fortunately. Allura furrows her eyebrows as we approach and grabs each of us to hover outside of the station. With no coms, just the insistent static of the radiation wave, I haven't the faintest idea what she's waiting for, but at the moment I'm just grateful to just be  _ still.  _ Being still is actually hard, considering every movement I make leads to a massive reaction, but  _ moving  _ is even worse, because who knows where I’m gonna be hurtling to with the force of a sneeze?

Suddenly, the chute opens like a crack of a whip. Several things float out, but I don't have time to examine them as Allura presses inside. I try not to think too hard about what this chute is used for as we file in quickly, and as soon as Hunk squeezes through the chute closes, all in the span of a few seconds. We're now in the hospitable environment of a Galra base.

As soon as the chute doors close, typical gravity asserts itself, and I'm eternally relieved to have my feet thump to the ground. They must have some sort of technology in the walls that regulates the gravity, like we have in the Castle of Lions and in our Lions. We stand for a moment in utter darkness, but after two seconds of rapid breath a soft violet light radiates into the space. Shiro's face is the first thing that shapes, and I realize that the source of light is probably from his prosthetic hand. 

I turn as my eyes adjust to the darkness, and as soon as I realize that we're in a tiny room Pidge's hands grab onto my shoulders from somewhere in front of me and twists me around rather sharply. I blink and follow her motion and I see now that the chute continues behind me, and since I'm the closest I have to go first. I stick my head inside the chute, I see an opening just above it, like the top of a very short chimney. I twist into the tunnel awkwardly and grasp the lip of the top, and with some upper body strength I haul myself up. I feel Hunk's big hands behind me pushing on my thighs to help me up into the room, as apparently I'm leading the pack now, and with the joint force I roll onto the floor of the new room, just as dark as the first. I turn back to the chute, sticking my arms inside blindly. Hunk's hands fumble for mine and I grasp his forearm tightly, tugging with all my might to help Hunk up. I can't see shit, but I huff and pull Hunk up into the room, letting out a breath as I roll my shoulder, "Man, my arms are weak as hell." I'm met with static, apparently the radiation wave is still going on.  _ It should be over pretty soon, though, and luckily, we made it inside just in time. _

I see a faint whiteness of Hunk's teeth as he grins sheepishly in the dark, and together we lean over the lip and help the others up the hole and into the new room, and as we first haul up Pidge, who's so light that with Hunk and I both we lift him up and out like a dog out of a car, my eyes begin to adjust to the dim light. The room is small, barely enough for us all to fit, with a keypad on the far door shining purple in the darkness as the only source of light. I wonder what type of room this is, and then I remember the chute and I quickly stop wondering. 

I lean down and grasp onto Lance's arm with Hunk to haul him up, then Allura, then Keith, followed finally by Shiro, his prosthetic arm like a violet beacon. He steps forward once we tug him in, and we maneuver ourselves out of the way so he can press his prosthetic hand to the keypad that leads us out of the room. I remember Pidge saying back on Arus on the crashed wreckage that Shiro’s hand, being Galra tech, is able to interface with other Galra tech, so it’s best that his hand is the hand to be pressed on the door. With a loud burst the static ends as the doorway clicks and opens. We all let out a collective sigh of relief to have our coms re-engage and I touch my wrist to turn the dial of the volume back up to normal.

Outside of the dark room is an entirely purple hallway, with red accents along the sides that hum with power, sharp angles of violet and rose. We push out of the room as stealthily as seven people clambering out of such a small space can, and as I take up the rear I feel my feet almost immediately stall as I'm enveloped in the violet-red.  _ It looks so similar to the Castle when it was under Sendak's control. The red light darkens the room rather than brightens it, just like on the bridge.  _ Just at the thought of the encounter makes me side hurt, and I find myself resting a hand over it with a deep frown.  _ Get that out of your mind. Not now. Focus.  _

"Will, come on!" I blink as Lance waves at me with his bayard, which is armed and at the ready in gun form, snapping me back to the present. I quickly come out of myself and rejoin the others in stalking down the hall, summoning my own bayard in preparation as it extends into form.  _ I wish I had a gun like Lance, that seems far more useful. _

Allura guides us down the hall, stopping us occasionally when a pair of sentries would patrol past, but they don't notice us as we'd luckily duck down and hide just in time.  _ This is surprisingly easier than I thought it would be. I can't believe those sentries didn't spot us, we're seven people, obviously not Galra, wandering around on a ship. Even pressed against the wall I find that we're hard to miss if you're actually looking… Maybe the sentries aren't actually looking? Maybe they're using sensors, or something? Well, whatever it is, they obviously suck, but I'm not gonna be telling Zarkon that any time soon.  _

We arrive to the main control room with no incident, yet as we turn the corner I figured it would've been better guarded than this: its doorway is open already, and inside I can see only three Galra standing within, but I can't tell if they're the actual aliens or the sentries from looking at them from behind. They’ve got a few inches on Shiro, making them pretty damn tall but the sentries look to be that big, too. 

We file in quietly, surprise on our side. Shiro steps up just behind the Galra closest to the back as they type on a purple holographic screen,  _ "Psst, hey!" _

The Galra isn't a sentry; they turn with a sleepy look, their eyes hidden over a massive helmet with a dark visor, but even despite that I can see them blinking at us stupidly for a solid few seconds before they realize what's going on. They have light purple skin underneath the helmet and fanged teeth and stand about a good foot taller than me, and few inches taller than Shiro. With the nature of the helmet and the armor they wore, I never would've been able to tell that this was an alien rather than a sentry, save when we're face to face like this.

Shiro snaps forward with the reach of a cobra, punches the Galra with a curled fist square in the nose so hard that it sends them flying backwards and through the hologram they were originally working with. The two, now sentries I can see, turn at this intrusion, right as Lance and Hunk both fire their bayards into the sentries chests. They fizzle out and fall over with crackling metal, and I let out a breath of relief as we close the door behind us. We now have control of the command center.

The Galra guard is lying still on the floor, probably knocked out from the force of Shiro's punch, so Lance and I both grab his arms and haul him under one of the holographic tables and out of the way as Pidge immediately sets to work, linking up cables to his computer. I blink and wonder how I failed to notice Pidge carrying it before I see his bag strapped to his belt from the back, like a hoodie wrapped around his waist.  _ That's a neat trick. _  Keith and Lance go to either side of the command center to peer out the windows for any sign that someone saw us, or any approaching baddies, so I take up to guarding the door hence we came with my lance at the ready.

"How's it look out there?" Shiro asks as he kneels next to Pidge.

Keith answers from where he stands at the front of the ship, looking out the glass and down below, "All clear."

"This shouldn't take too long." Hunk replies in a calming manner, which is surprising considering Hunk is the person I'd figure who would need to be calmed, as he plugs a cord into the main holographic projector at the front of the ship from Pidge's computer. Pidge sits with her computer down on the floor, Shiro is looking over her shoulder as a stream of Galra mixed with code cross the screen. Or, at least, they might be Galra, there's a bunch of symbols that I don't recognize. None I recognize, actually.  _ Fucking hell, I'm completely useless in these situations, thank God for Pidge's knowledge and tech smarts. _

"We should have all the information we need in a few minutes." Pidge says with a determined look. I turn my attention back to the doorway, listening for any sounds or signs of approaching sentries. My heart is pounding in my chest as Pidge continues, "Hunk and I have made a few improvements since the last time I tried to download Galra info. We should get a nice, clean translation immediately." I glance back and a little symbol of what looks like a caricature of Pidge's face with swirls instead of eyes and a chiming, automated laugh-sound emanate from the computer, showing a stream from the right side to the left through the head, "Hunk had a great idea about how to do it!" Pidge says excitedly, turning to grin at him.

Hunk sits down on one of the shot sentries with a matching grin, "Oh yeah yeah, do you guys remember when we studied algorithms at the Garrison and Mr. York told that joke about the ghost learning symbolic logic and innumerably infinite sets?" Hunk's voice teeters as he struggles not to laugh, covering his mouth. 

Lance glances over from where he stands guard on the other side of Keith, looking down through the glass at the quiet base below, "Boring!" He exclaims in a chastising way.

"Right, yeah, totally, it was boring." Hunk retracts a little, looking off to the side as he turns to speak animatedly to the group on large, "Anyway, the joke goes-"

Right as Lance groans in protest, Keith interrupts with a serious tone, "Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, but I think we got company."

Immediately all of us save for Pidge turn to gather by the glass for a better look. Up above, beginning to dock just down below our position is a massive cruiser, one of the ones that were lined up around the base, coming in at a glacial speed. It isn't docking near the edge like the others did however, this one is going to land directly in the center; the glass walls of the heart of the base are opening up to allow it inside like the opposite of extracting a peanut from its shell. For a moment its shadow covers us as it begins to land and Keith turns with a raised eyebrow to the others, "Do you think we should get out of here?"

"I just need a few more seconds." Pidge answers with an anxious, hard edge and begins to type away furiously at her computer. Keith drops to kneel beside Shiro as Lance and Hunk move to the opposite side of Pidge and I move to do the same, staying out of line of sight of the windows as Shiro murmurs, "Stay low. We need this intel."

Allura gasps as the holographic screen that we're connected to suddenly begins to ping, and an image pops up. Immediately, Shiro pushes as many within his reach under the board and Keith hisses,  _ "Get down!" _ I quickly move to join them, peeking around the desk to see what the image is hovering at the front of the bridge. A Galra walks into the hologram being projected, wearing the same helmet and armor as the other Galra that Shiro knocked unconscious. They stand with their visor down in front of the holographic screen, but I can see confusion written on their expression as they look about the empty room.

Lance whispers, "He's still looking. I think he's waiting for like, a signal or something."

"I got it." Hunk huffs, and before I can protest he crawls out from under the table, just under the line of sight of the Galra. He grabs one of the broken sentries that didn't get shot in the face from nearby and sits it up in front of the camera, hiding behind it. He wraps his legs around it to hold it upright, and holds the sentry in front of the camera. He makes it wave, then give a thumbs up. I blink, wondering how the hell he made the sentry move its fingers without touching them as the Galra waves back, and the feed cuts. 

We all let out a collective sigh of relief, crawling out from under the command tables. I stand up with a immediate, rough exhale as Lance strides towards Hunk, "Nice job, Hunk!"

"Thanks!" Hunk grins, and as Lance goes for a high-five Hunk uses the sentry's hand instead of his own. I can't help but snicker, and as soon as I do Pidge lets out a gasp of air, "Okay, download complete!"

Immediately we convene around Pidge's computer with equal excitement, "What's it say?" Shiro asks with bated breath.

Pidge frowns, scrolling through the information before she huffs, "Nothing! This place doesn't have any useful information, just a schedule of the ships coming in and out!"

"Well, I guess this mission's a bust." Lance grumbles. 

Shiro nods with a defeated expression, "Let's get back to the Castle."

I shake my head, "Wait, no, that can't be it. The Galra would be stupid to use this hidden place for simple supply runs, there's got to be more. Maybe there's another computer somewhere?"

"Hold on," Allura speaks up suddenly, her gaze flickering between the computer and the glass beyond, "Where are the ships coming in today going?"

"Um..." Pidge's hazel eyes snap across the screen, and after several seconds she answers, "All of them are going to other bases scattered across the system, one's in the Alvar system, the Tremblum system… Wait, there's one… The one that just landed there, it's scheduled to be here for about a half hour, then it's heading off to Central Command!"

Allura stands upright with a determined gaze, "That's where they have the information we need." She states seriously, looking at me with a respectful nod, "Like you thought." She then turns towards the glass, facing the ship with a dark look and grits her teeth, "I'm going to sneak aboard that ship and get it for us."

"Um, what? No way." Lance immediately interjects, crossing his arms stubbornly. 

Keith raises an eyebrow with a respectful, yet incredulous tone, "How are you going to get in?"

Allura pauses and takes off her helmet, the air rushing out and releasing her hair from its confines, before she turns her gaze to Keith, "I'm going to walk in through the front." Allura says with a cheerful smile, and before our eyes she starts to change. Her dark brown skin lightens to a blue-ish purple, and her stature grows taller and taller until she's about as tall as the Galra soldier we took down, all over the span of a few seconds. Her ears extend farther out, growing fur and becoming fluffier just like Sendak’s. The soft pink markings under her eyes remain, as do her eyes and her white hair braided in a bun at the nape of her neck; she looks like Allura, if Allura had been born a Galra.

We blink for at least seven seconds before Hunk breaks the silence, "How the heck did you do that?"

I gasp and snap my fingers, "Chameleon!"

Allura glances at me with an amused, lilted smile as she turns her attention to Hunk, "The Alteans are a chameleon-like people who can blend in with the local populations." She speaks with a fonder tone, "It's the ability that made us great explorers and diplomats throughout our history."

Lance immediately pipes up, "So, can you change into like, a balloon?" Pidge immediately latches on with her own question, "How many different colors can you be at once?" Hunk gasps and interjects, "Aren't you afraid to rip your pants?!"

Allura gives all three of them a look of distaste, "No," She says to Lance, "Just one at a time," She says to Pidge, before she chuckles a little at Hunk, "And I will need a change of costume." She turns to the Galra guard, who lays under the hologram table unconscious, "I can use his uniform as a disguise."

Shiro stands with crossed arms, his gaze set like stone, "I can't let you go in there alone."

Allura pauses, turning her head towards Shiro and immediately I know that shit's about to get real. "Excuse me?" Allura asks with a daring glare, turning to face Shiro with a queenly pissed off look, "I do not need your _  permission _ ."

We all collectively hold our breath as we turn our gaze to Allura and Shiro, two very strong willed people, butting heads. Just the way that she said  _ permission _  made me want to tell Shiro to just let her go, because I am genuinely afraid to see what would happen if he didn't.

"It's too dangerous!" Shiro argues with a determined expression, "I'm going in with you."

Allura looks down at him, as she is now almost a head taller than he is, with a curled lip, "You will stick out like a choferiak's nose."

"You're going to need that nose, Princess." Pidge steps in and grabs Shiro's prosthetic wrist, holding it up for Allura to see, "Shiro's hand is made from Galra tech. It's the only thing we have that will allow us to interface with their systems… and gather intel." She makes Shiro's hand wave, which Shiro doesn't seem to mind as he's busy giving Allura a pointed look. "I can monitor the download remotely from here." Pidge continues as she glances back at her computer, releasing Shiro's hand as he and Allura continue to stare each other down for several more tense seconds.

After a long moment, Allura sighs, "Fine… you can come."

Hunk calls from where he stands looking out the windows of the command center, "Uh, you guys better hurry up if you wanna get on and off before the ship heads for Zarkon Central!"

"How are you going to get Shiro in?" Pidge pipes up, causing the two of them to look at one another before Allura snaps, "I have an idea." She turns to the Galra soldier and immediately sets to work on taking off his armor for the necessary ‘change in costume’ she mentioned. I turn away, not exactly eager to see any Galra anatomy in the process, and take up my position at the back of the room again to look out for any sentries. Over my shoulder I can see the ship, which has now finally landed beneath the pea-pod shaped glass As the ship has come to a standstill, I watch as a massive glass dome shifts out and over, covering the ship entirely within the station, and as soon as it closes I hear loud puffs of air of the empty vacuum being filled with breathable air. 

I hear a loud thunk behind me, and I risk a glance over my shoulder to see Allura shoving the Galra guard, now in nothing but black pants  _ thank God,  _ back under the command center console. She's got his armor on, which fits awkwardly wide at her shoulders, but with the helmet on over her visage, she does look  _ exactly  _ like a Galra.  _ That's definitely handy.  _ "Come on!" She barks to Shiro, and without another word the two take off and run out of the command center.

As soon as their forms disappear out the doors, I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's like pre-stage jitters, except more constricting. It's not really like when we were on the Balmera, just before that monster arrived, it's more along the lines of apprehension, rather than a sense of impending doom. 

"I don't like this..." I murmur under my breath, frowning as the worrying feeling in my gut intensifies when Allura and Shiro get out of my line of sight, "I have a bad feeling."

Pidge scours through the data while Lance, Hunk, Keith and I look out the window to watch for Allura and Shiro, none of them paying me any mind. Now that the ship is officially docked, Galra sentries and Galra alike pour in and out of the ship, unloading several containers onto the platform and loading up other square containers. The containers being unloaded are glass cylinders, like what we used to attempt to store Sendak's memories, but they’re instead full of some glowing yellow substance, like a cloud, but in a more liquid form. Or perhaps the outside just glowed like that to prevent us from seeing what's inside. Sentries line them up and place them onto levitating platforms, then guide them into a facility on the far side of the stretch where the ship landed. I watch their progress to a massive triangular door at the far end of the dock, which opens and then closes after the sentries with the cylinders would filter in. 

"What do you think they have in all of those giant containers?" Keith mirrors my own thoughts with a pensive frown, looking down as he watches them carry them into a facility just across the way from where the ship had landed.

"Well," Hunk begins with a thoughtful look, "I suspect that it's sporks." The three of us turn to look at Hunk incredulously, and he merely blinks back at us, "This is an advanced race we're talking about here, surely they've learned that its foolish to have forks and spoons when one tool will efficiently do the job."

I snicker and shake my head, turning my gaze back to the cylinders, "I don't know. I can't tell if the glowing bits are whatever is inside, or just a screen to prevent us from seeing what’s inside."

"Maybe this guy will tell us." Pidge speaks from behind us. I turn around with a raised eyebrow. 

Pidge has her laptop sitting in her lap with her back to us, and the sentry that Hunk had sitting upright sits before her with its head fallen onto its chest. The top of its head is popped off, revealing a network of purple laser wiring within, like a brain, with several chords attached to it and hooked up to Pidge's computer. Pidge speaks, seeming to address the robot, "What's coming in and out of this station?"

The sentry's eyes flash a malevolent red, "Interrogation detected." A robot voice calls from within the sentry's chest, "Initiating lockdown." The sentry's lights immediately die out as it slumps forward.

Pidge raises an eyebrow challengingly, "Not talking, eh?" She cracks her knuckles before immediately leaning down and typing away furiously at her keyboard.

"Whoa." Keith murmurs beside me, "Check out this guy." I blink curiously and follow his gaze back down to the courtyard of the unloading ship, and immediately I know exactly who he's talking about. There's a cloaked figure, as tall as the other Galra if not taller, standing before two of the unpacked glowing cylinders. The cloak is black with purple fringes in the shape of flames, and comes at a peak with a pointed hood. They're facing towards our position up in the tower, but I cannot see their face; it's covered with a hawkish mask with black holes for eyes and jagged teeth hanging down like a pointed chin as they seem to be inspecting the containers, walking slowly from side to side with their gaze never leaving the cylinders.

"He looks like a Galra’s version of a KKK klansman." I grumble under my breath, and I'm racked with a full body shiver just by looking at this figure.

Keith narrows his eyes as he speaks softly, "Whatever's happening here that requires the base to be kept secret must have something to do with that scary dude, and those containers." We stand in silence as the cloaked figure suddenly turns, heading towards the other end of the dock. The sentries beside the containers clasp what look to be chords to their levitating stations, and they follow the shadowy figure away from our position. They walk towards the facility where the other containers are being moved to in a steady stream as Keith states in a muted tone, "I'm gonna go check it out."

As Keith turns to leave the bridge, Lance turns to him with a sharp look, "How about we just lay low and you don't blow our cover?"

Keith ignores him and continues for the door without pause, so Lance continues with a parental warning tone, " _ Keith _ , think about what you're doin'!"

"I'll go with you." I hear myself speaking the words before I feel like I'm saying them, striding after him as he pauses in the doorway, "I'll watch your back."

Keith whirls on me with a clearly displeased look, immediately snapping back, "I don't need anyone watching my back." 

"I know." I answer stubbornly, shrugging at him as if this were obvious, "But we should stick together in units as much as we can, so if you insist on going, I’m coming with." 

"We'll have a better chance of getting caught." Keith growls in frustration. I feel my jaw harden and grit, vaguely recalling when I told him, what was it,  _ ‘Typical that some civilian gets in the way of things, right?’  _

I find my gaze locking to his with a narrow, challenging look, "If Lance can't argue you out of going, then you don't get to argue about me coming. Now are we gonna go check it out, or stand here arguing about it all day?" I state with finality, crossing my arms as I give him a pointed look with a raised eyebrow.  _ Fucking fight me on this. I dare you. _

Keith grits his jaw, and for the first time I see his emotions clearly on his face as outright pissed off. He turns away with a defeated, but still clearly angry, sigh, "... Come on."

Lance lets out a cry as the door opens for us to leave, "No, Will, stop that! You're a terrible influence! Don't you walk through that door!"

The door closes behind us as soon as we step through, the dark crimson light darkening the hall more than it seems to illuminate it as Keith leads on with a determined expression, if a little on edge. Probably at being followed, I suppose.  _ But there's no way in hell that I'm letting him go off on his own, just the thought gave me a clench in my stomach that I can't explain. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I have to be there with him, to protect him. But from what, I have no fucking clue. My gut doesn't make sense sometimes, but the last few times its given me a feeling they've been fairly helpful, like when the two giant robots on the Balmera and Arus came. If I can't trust my inner self, then who can I, really? He’s probably right, I will be more of a nuisance than anything else, but I can’t just sit with Lance, Hunk, and Pidge and wait around while he heads off in there alone, at least Allura and Shiro have each other- _

Keith takes a turn down a hall as it spills out into the main courtyard, the door opening with a soft burst of air as it gives way to the dock's makeshift atmosphere. We’re perfectly hidden just in the doorway from the courtyard, a fair ways away from the massive Galra ship being unloaded into the facility at the far end of the courtyard.  _ I hope Shiro and Allura made it onto the ship. It looks like they've got most of the stuff unpacked by now.  _ I look up at the command center to see if I can see the others from where I am, and I'm fortunate and happy that I can't, I can barely see the glass.

That's when I notice the canals and spokes hanging over our heads, most likely for structural purposes to keep the base together, and the glass exterior that closed over the ship in place. _ An excellent method of getting around the dock unseen. No one hardly ever thinks to look up.  _ Keith's gaze follows mine at these structures, and before I can say my thoughts he engages his pack to fly up onto them.  _ Bless that he was thinking the same thing.  _ I quickly follow after him before I get left behind.

I look down between the dark ebony metal at the wide path that leads to the triangular doors. Immediately I spot the hooded figure, along with the two sentries and the loads they bear, as they're heading for the large, triangular doors of the building where the shipments have been relayed. I glance up as Keith leaps ahead of me from pylon to pylon, following after the figure. I follow after as quickly as I dare, engaging my pack for an extra lift, and periodically looking below to ensure that no one can see our progress. None of the various Galra scattered about seem to be paying attention except to their task at hand, however, which is fortunate, and the overall noise of shipments being moved around and Galra speaking to one another at the ship’s base drowns out the sound of the light tapping of our boots landing on the metal. The big empty space helps with that too, as well as the loud din of the cruiser. Even though it’s landed within the base, its engine is still working, and it's pretty loud, a pleasant white noise that would put me to sleep on a restless night.

As we get closer, the hooded figure enters the facility with the sentries just behind them. As soon as they’re through, the doors begin to close. Keith takes a sharp intake of breath that I can hear from just behind him and immediately he drops down and dives for it, engaging his pack. I follow without thinking, not even pausing to glance below us to see if the Galra in the space have spotted us. Keith slides in with seconds to spare and I follow just after, barely getting in before the door closed on me. I stumble a little as I land, because I'm still fucking  _ clueless  _ at how to work a jetpack effectively, and I feel Keith's hands grapple me around my waist as he drags me to the side to avoid being seen. 

I shake him off with a hard look, not daring to speak as I'm unable to see where we are yet, as once the doors close the entirety of the area is engulfed in darkness. It takes a second for my eyes adjust, but when they do I see we are in a hallway made of black metal, barely lit save for dark red streaks of power humming beneath the base along the sides, as opposed to the violet purple that I've grown to associate with the Galra aesthetic. The hall is empty, and I can barely see the glowing golden-brown of the containers around the corner and growing farther by the second.  _ Good, we weren't spotted following them.  _

Knowing we're alone, I shoot Keith a glare and open my visor so I can whisper without using the com in a biting manner,  _ "Quit treating me like I'm an idiot!" _

Keith doesn't look at me as he moves to follow the golden light, merely growling under his breath, "I don't need protecting."  _ That’s not even remotely what I said. Or what I have said.  _

"You're so fucking stubborn- you know that's not what I think, don't put words in my mouth." I bite back in a challenging, yet low tone as I move to follow him at a crouch. I use most of my focus on keeping my footfalls as silent as possible while the other remaining bit is to keep myself from decking Keith with his back to me.

_ "Can we argue about this later?" _ Keith hisses as he throws me a tensed, incredulous look over his shoulder. I merely curl my lip in distaste silently as I move to follow him, letting the subject drop… for now.

We follow the hooded figure and the two sentries silently for a while, taking several turns and stopping as a patrol strolls by or to wait to allow a better following distance behind the shadowy figure and their sentries. There are far more patrols in this sector, it seems, as we have to pause at least four or five times, which leads me to believe that Keith was right about whatever this figure is up to being the key to whatever this base does. 

Slowly, as we continue, my vision in the dark red lighting improves, and I realize that the walls aren't flat like they were in the last building we were in. There are regular interval beams erected upward, and when I look up I see that the ceiling is much taller than the other building’s, the divets in the walls coming from thick structural beams lined up along the top in sloped angles like a church steeple. We use this to our advantage to duck behind when sentry patrols pass, as they're quite large and perfect hiding spaces. We press on, silently stalking our prey down the crimson-lit halls.

Finally, the figure turns about face and from the far end of the hall I can get a better look at them. Their creepy, plague-doctor like mask covers the hooded figure's face entirely, the shadowy black beneath the hood causes the white mask to glint in the scarlet light all the brighter, much to my disappointment.  _ I wish I could see their face. _ The sentries place the containers on what looks like an assembly belt that crosses across the hallway with heavy thuds as Keith and I look on from behind a structural beam. The belt whirs, pulling the containers into the wall and out of sight as the hooded figure turns away from the sentries towards the right side hallway and out of view. The sentries stay put on either side of the new hall's entrance, guarding the path that the figure took with their guns aloft, standing facing forward. 

_ Alright, how can we get around them, or at least get the jump on them, without being seen? _

I peer down the dark hallway for any ideas before I peer back up at the ceiling. There are beams in between the beams in the walls, intersecting one another a fair distance over my head like jungle gym beams. Only problem is, they're too high for me to jump and grab onto, and it’s too dangerously quiet to risk using my pack, but perhaps it’s just low enough… I touch Keith's shoulder silently and point to them with a questioning eyebrow.

Keith glances over at me, and then upwards, and I see his gaze click with understanding. He makes a gesture with his forefinger at the sentry on the left, then points upwards. I square my body a little and hold out my hands low, kneeling down a little and looking at Keith expectantly so he can use me as a step stool to get up to the beams. Without hesitation reads the situation and steps into my hands. I try not to stagger as I hold the entirety of his weight, literally, in the palms of my hands. He pushes off surprisingly quickly, using my shoulder as a second step with his other foot as he reaches up and grasps onto the beam with a heavy exhale of breath, I quickly duck out of the way before he can kick me in the face. When he twists himself up onto the beam, he lands heavier than I think he meant to, and there's a soft, reverberating echo in the suffocating silence of the hall. If it were anywhere else it would’ve been dead silent, but for some reason this hallway seems to silence everything save for our breathing, and the bare sound of Keith’s weight on the structural bar.

Immediately I quickly drop back and hide behind one of the beams with held breath, and for a moment all is silent. Then I hear the sound of mechanical footsteps coming to our position at a measured, yet quick pace.  _ Okay. Fuck. Okay. They heard us. Plan B, Plan B. _  I summon forth my bayard as I press my back against the metal wall, the cold I feel sucking out of my Voltron suit. My bayard expands into lance form with soft, barely audible snaps, one of the bladed ends scraping against the side of my helmet as I watch the hallway beside me anxiously. 

A piece of black metal, a gun, appears in my line of vision as the sentry walks by me, and I know by how close it is that if it even turns a little my way, I'm fucked. 

Without warning, a flash of red and white armor descends from above as Keith slices his bayard down the middle of the sentry in a surprise attack, his bayard ripping through the sentry with a metallic screech and a loud thud as his whole body crushes the sentry to the floor. Knowing that there was a second, I emerge from my hiding place and lash out with my bayard around the corner just Keith lands, and the long reach of my lance causes the sharp end to impale straight through the second sentry's chest. It fizzles out with a burst of purple lightning and I reach out and grasp it to keep it from collapsing, as it would no doubt have been loud. I glance over at Keith and the utterly crushed sentry, and I realize then that  _ we're well past that _ , and let it fall with a  _ clank.  _

Silently, Keith and I drag the sentries to the side, unable to completely put them out of sight, but I figure, after the command center, it'll be difficult to really hide that something happened here. Honestly, it's just important that Zarkon knows that it isn't Voltron that was here, if he knows someone came in but not who, that should be fine, right? I doubt he's popular, I bet his first conclusion won't be six kids, two Alteans, and a 1,600 year old Altean ship in a pear tree.

We stalk down the hallway where the hooded figure turned at a silent crouch, but as I strain to listen for any sounds of footsteps coming there’s nothing but the same silence as before.  _ We may have gotten lucky and no one heard us taking down the sentries _ . As soon as we turn into the hall it ends abruptly and spills into an orange-lit room, circular and wide, lighting the space much more effectively than the dark red in the hall we left behind. 

Along the sides are lined with hundreds, if not thousands of those orange glowing containers, which is what illuminates the room so. There are four tiers of this room; the top three are lined with the orange cylinders and the bottom with much smaller containers, but they appear to be empty. A conveyor-belt like thing starts from the top tier and makes its way into the center of the room towards a large metal ring, and beneath it is a massive purple sphere that pulses with energy, unlike anything I'd seen, it takes up a majority of the room. It reminds me of a sun, if the sun was made of electricity. As it hisses and sparks outwards, I feel some sort of dark power emanating from it, prickling my skin beneath my suit. It takes up the large middle space between the central two tiers, and beneath the sphere, in the fourth tier where there are a bunch of small empty containers lined up all the way around, lies a pedestal that reminds me of the one where King Alfor's memory once resided. Centered in its middle, instead of a large hourglass, is one of the empty containers, positioned reverently on an altar-like platte just on top of a stilled conveyor belt leading out of the room towards an exit far below. The hooded figure stands on a platform across from the sphere that floats in the center of the room on the third tier. As soon as we spot him, Keith and I quickly press against the wall, partially hidden behind a beam. 

Silently, we watch as an orange cylinder clambers on the far end of the room, feeding onto the conveyor belt on the top tier. It's being pulled by the assembly belt to the middle, down a slight incline to the second tier until it clamors into the ring that hovering over the sphere. It slides down onto what looks like a large, metal needle that reminds me of a spoke on a compass that illustrates which way is north, stabbing directly into the container with a hiss. Golden-orange fluid drains from the container, like liquid gold, leaves its glass shell and flies around the purple sphere and spinning the fluid like wine being swirled in a glass. _ The container is now empty, so what's within is whatever the gold-orange light is, some kind of golden liquid. What  _ **_is_ ** _ that stuff? _

We watch as the sphere sends the substance spiraling around itself, like a string of lights on a round Christmas tree, before the metaphysical orb itself flashes yellow. As soon as it flashes, the hooded figure raises their purple, clawed, Galra hands like a zombie in front of them from where they stand on the platform, on the second tier above the tier where Keith and I remain hidden.

Suddenly, a feeling of  _ wrong  _ causes me to shiver as their hands spark. Purple lightning arcs between their fingertips, and with a massive clash, arcing violet bolts pulse from them and charge into the sphere with crackling bursts of energy that cause the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. The orb flashes purple and yellow for several seconds until the figure's lightning subsides, and the orb, now purple once more, seems to lose its luster. The brilliant violet light it created sinks down to the bottom of the container like caramel melting down into a bowl, collecting at the bottom and dripping some neon purple liquid into a funnel. From the funnel drips the glowing, neon purple liquid into the smaller container on the bottom tier, filling it to the brim with the violet substance before a machine screws a cap on top. The large container that holds the orange stuff, I say, is about big enough to fit a person Pidge's size, but the container down there looks like it could barely hold a cat. The empty, large glass container above shifts back up onto another conveyor belt that leads to the opposite end of the room, just over the shadowy figure's head, and out of sight as it loads another container, filled with the glowy gold substance, onto the belt to start the process all over again.

"Coran." Keith whispers into his com, touching his headset as I see he engages his computer in his suit to record his line of sight, "You need to see this."

All is silent for a moment, and I flicker my gaze to the left side of my visor as his video feeds into my system's computer. Coran murmurs into the com immediately as Keith transmits his point of view to the Castle, "I've never seen anything like it!"

"What is that?" Pidge asks over the com with a curious expression. 

Suddenly a robotic voice, like the one from the sentry she was attempting to interrogate, speaks, "The material is quintessence," We all blink in shock as the robotic voice helpfully continues, "The material with the highest known energy per unit volume in the universe."  _ So, she got it to work, huh? _

"Hey, nice job, Pidge, you made him work for us!" Lance congratulates over the com.

"What?!" Coran gasps in a horrified manner over the com,  _ "Impossible!" _

The sentry apparently is not finished talking, "Raw quintessence material is transported here from throughout the galaxy and refined into standardized Galra fuel requirements."

"Did you guys hear that?" Pidge calls for confirmation. I glance up at the hooded Galra figure and turn down the sound of my com, even though it was already just below a whisper.

Coran sounds completely baffled, "I can't believe it. They found a new way to acquire quintessence!"

I risk it, whispering at a soft volume, "So, whatever this quintessence stuff is, it has got to be fuel, that’s why everything they have is accented with that purple; this is what powers all of their ships!"

“Guys…” Keith interrupts me with a bare whisper, "I'm gonna steal some of this... quint-whatever." He touches his visor and cuts the feed to the room. I frown, I want to argue, but I know I won't be able to talk him out of whatever he plans to do, his resolve is as hard as his gaze locked on the small container on the floor below. I figure I’ll follow and at least attempt to protect him in case shit goes sideways. 

_ Quintessence. I’ve heard that word before, but I can’t remember where. Standardized Galra Fuel Requirements… This base is incredibly top secret to be positioned here, so this fuel must be their main source of power for all of their technology, which makes sense since the power that hums along the sides of their technology is the same color purple as whatever that sphere and that dude made. It would not only be useful to figure out more about it, but also to know where it's coming from and find out ways of cutting off their supply. That would deal some significant damage to Zarkon if the Galra Empire relies heavily enough on this material to have it being made in such a hidden facility. _

The finished quintessence container, now with the cap screwed on, is accepted onto another assembly transporter that rolls out of the room on the level below us, as I realize where we stand is technically the second tier from the bottom. The figure stands on the third, the platform that's on level with where the larger containers with the ‘unrefined’ quintessence lock onto above the sphere that takes up about a third of the room. The top tier and the tier that we're on appear to be the main storage places in this room for these containers, and the bottom tier has an assembly line that feeds out of the room with the refined quintessence, lined with more bottles, one of which is being loaded back into the center as the figure begins to channel more electrical power into the sphere, creating a second batch of ‘refined’ quintessence.

I tap on Keith's shoulder and point to the conveyor belt below us, and give him a meaningful look with my eyebrows raised. Keith glances at me then at the exit below before he nods curtly as he gazes around the room, probably for a method in without the cloaked figure seeing us.

Before I can think about a solution, Keith lunges, sliding across the floor with the barest squeak and drops to the lowest level, underneath the figure's platform and out of their line of sight. I hold my breath and watch, but fortunately the figure doesn't notice as it's still pumping whatever purple lightning power it has into the sphere for the second batch of quintessence. 

_ I haven't even begun to think about that the hell they’re doing. That seems like magic… but how? It's gotta be some form of science, right?  Magic is usually just been science that hasn't been discovered of understood yet, just like when ancient humans thought solar and lunar eclipses were the end of the world. But this… this is just straight up magic, or at least looks like it, and I would know, magic is my thing. _ _ What  _ **_are_ ** _ they doing, really? They're zapping that orb, making the quintessence go from gold to violet, and then it drips down. They're definitely the key, but what makes them special? How are they able to do that lightning, and why does it need to do the zap to the orb to make it drip? Ugh, this is melting my mind. _

Something vague clicks at the back of my memory but I shove it aside and snap back into focus,  _ I gotta join Keith before they stop casting that spell, otherwise they’ll see me.  _ I roll forward after Keith, dropping down as silently as I can manage just a few seconds after Keith fell to the bottom tier. Before I can land, Keith snags me and immediately shoves me against the wall, pressing against me with an anxious look over his shoulder. The lightning suddenly dies, and we both hold our breath.

We stay perfectly still as the room is insanely quiet, and from here I can clearly see the refined quintessence draining from the sphere into a new container, and after what feels like forever the cylinder slides away down the conveyor belt directly opposite of us, and out of sight through the doorway. My lungs burn, but I don't dare breathe as the only sound within the room is the soft rattling movement of the conveyor belts. I hear a click from far above and a hiss, and with a violet flash the figure's lightning snaps back to life from two tiers above us with loud, thunderous crackles of energy. Immediately we breathe a collective sigh of relief, and my helmet briefly touches his as the terrified tension immediately releases.

My eyes fly open. Now that I'm no longer afraid of being actively caught, I realize how close he is. His chest is pressed against mine,  _ holy fuck, _  I can feel his breath rise and fall, oh  _ fuck.   _

_ Now is not the fucking time, Will, I swear to fucking god you dumbass homosexual, _  I snarl at myself internally as Keith disengages, pressing himself flat against the wall beside me. He skirts his way around the room as the figure channels its power into the sphere, and I quickly follow after him. We go as fast and as silently as we can manage until we're upon the entrance, or rather the exit for the refined quintessence on the opposite side of the room where the figure is. Once we're able to see him from our line of sight, I assume that means he could see us if he just looked down, which is far easier than looking up, so just before we can see him we both freeze. Keith takes in a breath beside me, and after a moment's hesitation he bolts for the door. Without hesitating I follow after, sprinting like I never have before and hoping to God the figure’s too distracted doing the lightning thing to notice the two bolts of armor dashing for the opposite doorway.

Keith takes a breath once he's inside and out of line of sight of the figure, and I quickly slam myself against the wall beside him, hiding just behind the door frame as the lightning suddenly ends once again with the end of the quintessence refinement. I'm unable to see the figure from the angle I'm at, nor the movement of the refined quintessence, but if I were to peek out then I leave myself at risk of being seen. Keith peers over my shoulder, and I hear him take a steadying breath as he prepares himself, for what I have no clue. As soon as the refined quintessence enters our area just behind the door, he dives for it, grabbing it on his roll and pressing his back to the other side with held breath once it's done. He glances over at me, and I give him a thumbs up as he peeks up and out of the exit to make sure the figure didn't see him. He then lets out a relieved breath before he looks down to inspect the quintessence container in his hands. It's about as big as a trophy, I think, and glows brightly with that neon, eerie purple.  _ “Refined” Quintessence, whatever either of those things mean. Hopefully Coran and Pidge can give us some answers once we’ve brought this to them. _

As soon as I release my breath, relieved that we were successful, the air between Keith and I begins to waver in the moving assembly line, like heat radiating off of the road. Immediately I'm assaulted with this horrible feeling of wrongness, like nails on a chalkboard or rubbing my fingernails on three dimensional bookmarks. With a shadowy gasp of black smoke, I jolt as the cloaked figure pops into existence on the still conveyor belt. They extend their hand and strike Keith in the back, knocking him backwards into the wide, orange room. He cries out in shock as he's sent flying, and I hear the glass clinking of the cylinder being dropped. This happens in the span of two, three seconds.

I engage my bayard and dash forward, jabbing a bladed end at the figure without second thought. They immediately disappear, my bayard slicing through mere smoke. I blink and look around with wide eyes, then out of the corner of my eye I see them reappear back in the center of the orange, four tiered room, bending down to pick up the fallen quintessence cylinder.  _ What the fuck? How did they do that? _

Keith rises to his feet several yards away from the figure, who stands directly between us. He engages his bayard with a ring of metal as he snarls, "Okay, plan B!" He charges forward with his bayard at hand. 

The figure places the cylinder onto the assembly line gingerly, but as the sword is about to bite into them, the shadow vanishes and Keith's sword slices through the space they once stood. I race forward as the cloaked figure reappears behind Keith, but he's ready for it, he whirls and rakes the edge of his sword through them, except the figure wavers again into black smoke, smoke too dark, too black to be natural. Keith whirls around as the figure reappears a distance away, just beside the open room where the refined quintessence is fed. I leap out from behind them and slice down with a bladed end of my bayard but they immediately are replaced by smoke once again. 

_ Okay, that's definitely some sort of magic; it's not a hologram, it doesn't waver. They just... disappear into smoke. And above all, it’s fucking  _ **_annoying._ **

I whirl around with my bayard ready, the skin on the back of my neck prickling as I feel eyes out of every corner when, all of a sudden, I feel the air pop and sizzle, like the seconds before a lightning strike, followed by the horrible feeling of wrongness reappearing and chilling my spine. I look up just in time to see the figure standing overhead on their platform, purple lightning dancing between their fingers. I cry out a warning, and we both luckily dodge out of the way as the lightning explodes, carving a path to follow Keith from where he dodged to the other side of the room. He sprints for cover as the figure channels the violet lightning to follow him, so I engage my pack to get on the figure's level while their power is distracted. 

Just before I can get close enough the figure turns, their lightning cutting towards me as heavy smoke rises from the floor where Keith was. I dive to the side to dodge it just in time as the lightning dies, rolling further onto the platform. I use the momentum to roll to my knees as Keith rises from the smoke behind the figure to strike, launching upwards with the power of his pack. He slices down his sword, just about to catch the figure by surprise but they turn just a second before and raise a hand in defense. A massive, violet, pulsing field shields them, blocking the blow in a manner much like my own shield as I leap to my feet. I sprint forward to take advantage of their back turned to me when suddenly, with an ozonic blast, the shield sparks and with a violent force it sends Keith flying into the stacks of the golden-orange, unrefined quintessence with a massive crash of broken glass. __

_ Fuck, that sounded like it hurt. _

"Keith!" I shout in fear but I stall when the figure turns towards me. I bare my teeth and swipe at them with my bayard but they merely disappear into smoke, vanishing from sight. I whirl around as I hear the sound of crinkling glass, up where Keith got thrown into, and my priorities alter. Immediately I dash forward and leap off the edge, engaging my pack to reach the fourth tier as it drips liquid gold to the floor below. I stumble forward when I see Keith’s form kneeling on the grown, he’s cradling his right hand in his lap.  _ Keith's hurt.  _

I engage the com immediately, "Pidge! We need an extraction, now! Hurry!" I can't see it from his positioning, but I see that the black suit that covers his hands is no longer there. _  He must've gotten burned from the blast. Fuck,  _ **_fuck-_ **

I grab his shoulder and he makes a sound I can’t quite hear when I hear the popping, crackling sound of lightning, like a broken microwave. I turn to the figure as lightning dances across its hands, its pointed, faceless mask almost an emotionless mockery. I release Keith and hold my bayard aloft, and all of a sudden a dark sense of calm washes over me. Everything seems to drown out except for the sound of Keith's breath and the spark of the figure's lightning. 

"Pidge! Fire up the Green Lion, we're coming in hot!" I hear Shiro call over the com. I let out a breath as the figure fires up its lightning, and arcs it towards our position.

With a flick of my wrist my bayard straightens outright as I clasp both ends of my bayard, its shield engaging just in time as the lightning collides against it with a massive cracking sound, like ice breaking over a pond. I brace myself with grit teeth as the lightning arcs around the shield, causing the glass containers on either side of Keith and I to shatter with popping glass. I dig my heels into the metal floor as the smoky, starry essences inside the containers dissipate into the air like gold mist, and I feel my feet sliding against the floor from the force of the lightning pressing against my shield. Keith stumbles to his feet beside me with grit his teeth, keeping his right hand against his chest as he grabs his bayard with left. I feel myself slowly getting pushed back, even as I re-position my feet I know I can’t hold out. I yell over my shoulder to him, "Quick, move!"

Keith, for once without talking back, rolls to the side and I dive the opposite direction as I let my shield give away and the lightning crashes into the wall of glass containers behind us with an awful burning smell of rubber followed by a cacophony of breaking glass. I bring myself upright myself onto my knees, looking up to see Keith summoning his shield in his left arm as he leaps off of the tier, engaging his pack towards the figure below. The cloaked Galra's lightning bolts at him as he flies down, and even though Keith attempts to hide his body behind the shield it isn't stable, the force of the lighting knocks him backward onto the assembly line that continues to feed the orange-gold cylinders into the sphere. They're now beginning to pile up with us distracting a portion of the assembly.  _ Why do they keep targeting him? Never before would I think this, but why can't it attack me so it'll leave him alone! Probably cause he's a better fighter, they must see that much, they've gotta keep him at arm's reach. Goddamnit, I hope spite and rage can improve my fighting. _

Immediately I sprint forward, engaging my pack and launching myself down with my bayard's pointed edge aimed at the figure to at least gets its attention, but as it turns to me it vanishes into smoke just as my bayard would've split its mask. I growl in frustration when I land, punching my fist into the air in frustration as I whirl around, spinning my bayard in an arc as I search for the figure. I spot Keith rising up with his bayard in his left hand next to a golden cylinder that crashes and falls off the edge as the conveyor belt continues to move, but the quintessence bottles don't. He’s just below me, on the third tier. The figure appears in front of him in the middle of the aloft assembly line, its hands arching with purple lightning with a smug silence, a cat with a cornered mouse.  _ Fuck, fuck,  _ **_fuck-_ **

Without a second thought I race forward at top speed to leap up to the third tier from below, engaging my pack for an extra boost. However just as I plant my feet to launch, the entire room shakes as I lift off, completely throwing my balance. My leap falters, and I fall just short; I let out a cry as I frantically grab onto the edge of the platform the figure and Keith are standing on, catching a grip in the last second. I glance down and hold on tighter, I don't want to tumble down the three stories to the ground below. I attempt to engage my jetpack, but with angry fizzles it screeches and dies. I glance back to see that it's because debris is caught in the ventilation on the top, the metallic whirs in my pack sparking angrily at the intrusion. I growl and attempt to haul myself up with extreme effort when all of a sudden the ceiling is ripped open with a massive plume of smoke.

Yellow eyes glow amidst the smoky darkness, and the Green Lion's mouth opens as Pidge's voice cries out over the com, "Get in! We have to get Shiro and Allura!"

I fumble to get up, but I'm losing my grip, I kick desperately for some boost, but I can't hold on,  _ fuck my weak arms _ . I call out desperately, "Keith!"

I lose my grip, but just as I start to tumble he lashes out grabs my wrist with a gloved hand, his good hand.  _ Fuck, his hand, is he okay? _ I let out a relieved gasp as he holds on fast, and with some strength and effort he hauls me from where I dangle over the edge. I let out a gasping thanks and immediately my heart freezes as I whirl around behind me,  _ where'd they go? Where's the shadow?  _

There's nothing in the room as it trembles and shakes from the Green Lion's thrusters, without even a trace of smoke.

We glance at one another briefly before we turn and sprint into the Green Lion's maw without question, and no sooner are we inside does it close its mouth and take off through the hole it made in the roof.

I make it into the stairwell that leads to Pidge's chamber, and I grab the back of Keith's suit to pull him into the narrow hall as he nearly teeters and falls over with the sudden movement. Our bayards disengage back into our suits as the door slides shut behind us.

We take a second to catch our breath, the stairwell eerily silent now that blood isn’t rushing so much in my ears. Keith pants with his shoulders pressed against the wall, and I use this opportunity to inspect Keith's bare hand, thankful that the air is released to circulate before we get sucked into empty space from within the Green Lion's mouth. I let out a sigh of relief when I see that his skin appears unmarred, unaffected actually, save for the burnt edges of his suit around his wrists. _Maybe his suit somehow protected him from the lightning's blast?_ _Fuck it, I don’t care how, I’m just glad he is okay._ "Thank God you're okay." I murmur with a relieved exhale, grabbing his shoulder as the Green Lion rumbles through space. We accommodate the movement by bracing against the wall.

Keith stares down at his hand, appearing almost as perplexed as I feel, "Yeah. I guess." He answers mutely, but otherwise doesn't react to my worry.

I realize that I must look incredibly stupid and sentimental, getting all worried over his unhurt hand like this. But the way he was clinging to it… I shake the thought away and pull my hand away from his shoulder, shrugging the moment off physically and mentally as I let out a breath, “Who the hell  _ was  _ that?” 

Keith shakes his head breathlessly, “I have no fucking clue, but whoever they were they’re way more dangerous than anything I’ve ever seen. Why haven’t we heard about super powerful, witchy Galra before now?” 

I feel something click in my memory, and I frown as the words flow without any thought, “Druids.” 

Keith blinks at me stupidly, and I quickly snap my fingers, “Sendak, he mentioned when we were in the hold that he was going to ‘submit us to the power of the druids’.” I touch a hand to my visor, trying to focus on the words but I don’t remember, I was just screaming, there was just pain- 

“I didn’t think twice about it because I was… preoccupied. But after seeing that, the lightning…” Purple sparks flash when I close my eyes, a ghost pain flaring in my side. Instead I hyperfixate on Keith’s perplexed expression, “There’s a lot more going on here that we aren’t seeing, but I think that’s what Sendak was talking about. I think that that Galra, the druids, are the people who gave Shiro his arm.”

Keith lets out a breath as the Green Lion makes a sudden turn, and we brace against the wall for a moment until it stills. Keith grabs my shoulder and heads up the steps with a grunt, "We’ll talk about this later with the team; come on, let's meet up with the others." I follow after him into the main chamber.

Inside, out of the Green Lion's eyes I can see empty space save for a single, small Galra pod floating towards us with a trail of purple energy behind them. "Looks like Shiro and Allura made it out before the ship jumped!" Hunk exclaims with a relieved breath where he stands on the right side of Pidge’s seat. As I stare at the pod, I get this overwhelming sensation of worry, worming through my gut and seizing all sense of relief that I may have had like an ice cube sapping heat.  _ The ship must’ve taken off, then… but there’s a pod, they must’ve gotten out just in time.  _

"Hey, great job you two." Lance says with a mocking paternal tone, crossing his arms as we enter the cabin from where he stands to Pidge’s left, "You really did great on the whole 'stealth' part of our mission."

"Can it, Lance, we wouldn't have known about the quintessence stuff if it wasn't for Keith." I snap back. I can feel the others giving me a strange look, and I quickly shift my gaze around the cabin, "Keith's uh... thinking. We should talk about it more back at the Castle, at what this quintessence stuff is, what it means, and what to do about it. And there’s something else y’all should know-"

"Shiro and Allura's pod are in the holding bay." Pidge interrupts as she steadies her hands on the Green Lion's controls, and we let out a collective, relieved sigh. We turn expectantly towards the doors, and a few moments later the doors of the cabin open.

I feel my heart fall in my chest as my eyes widen, fixed on the pure despair and rage on Shiro's face. Keith takes a step forward with the same look that I feel as Shiro hangs his head, his eyes shut as if he were about to curl inwards to escape himself. He stills when the door closes behind him.

And only him.

Keith murmurs softly, "Where's Allura?"   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I edited the kinks in this a little bit, made some more things transitive and make some more logical sense. I feel like I went kind of overboard on the similes but whatever man. I'm a slut for similes.**


	16. The Last Thing We Should Do, And The Last Thing They'll Expect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first real strike at Zarkon is completed, but at serious cost. Allura is lost, in the hands of her greatest enemy at the Central Command of the Galra Empire.  
> The most heavily defended place in the entire galaxy.  
> How will Voltron get out of this one?  
> \---  
> **WARNING: Lotsa blood and descriptions of (ALMOST) mortal wounds.  
> I have a concept art piece of a certain lion yelling here: https://thewhitepaladin.tumblr.com/ -- tagged #chapter 16

"Shiro?" Lance murmurs with a worried gaze as Shiro clamps a hand on the back of Pidge's seat. All is silent for several seconds as Shiro struggles to speak.

"She... She sacrificed herself to save me." He says with a taut tone, his eyes remaining firmly closed.

Pidge frowns as she turns back to look at him, "She's still on that ship?"

"The ship that's headed to Zarkon's Central Command?" Hunk cries with a worried look

Keith quickly follows up, "The place that's way too dangerous for us to attack?"

I feel my gut wrench at the implications.  _She's going to be practically hand delivered to Zarkon himself._

Shiro's hand that clasps the back of Pidge's seat clenches into a fist, and he slowly raises his head to meet our eyes, "It doesn't matter how dangerous it is. We can't let Zarkon get Allura."

Hunk frowns uncertainly, "But you said going there would be a huge mistake? You said for us to attack that place head on would be the _dumbest possible thing_ we could _ever do!_ "

Shiro hangs his head, "I know." He grits his jaw as he lets out a slow breath, "But now, we don't have a choice."

_He’s absolutely right. We can’t allow this to happen._

I immediately turn to Pidge with a snapping tone, "Quick, we have to get back to the Castle. The longer we wait, the longer time that Zarkon has to prepare for us. If we head there now, before word of her presence reaches Zarkon, we will have a surprise attack advantage." I turn to the others for a gauge on the idea, but they merely meet my gaze with mixed expressions that I can’t read.

"On it." Pidge immediately engages the throttle of the Green Lion's thrusters as we press to return to the Castle.

As soon as we pull into the Green Lion's hanger, we take the elevator ride back up to the command center to the Castle of Lions. The silence is deafening, and I can feel the anxiety and frustration that rolls off of Shiro in waves. I can see Keith's look of worry as he senses it too, and watches Shiro with knitted brows.

 _I have to say something._  

I turn to Shiro with a gentle, but firm tone, "What happened isn't your fault."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Will." Shiro snaps back rather sharply. My mouth shuts as I frown, furrowing my eyebrows. His gaze is firmly planted on the elevator doors as we ascend, his hands clenched in trembling fists that are the only hint to his anguish.

I find the nerve to speak again with some difficulty, "Actually, I do." I say through grit teeth, "I know my leader, and I know that you wouldn't have let it happen if it was your choice, but it wasn't, it couldn't have been. Now, we're going to get her back, and that's all that matters, now." I reply just as sharply. Shiro's gaze turns to me, and it's the kind of look that sends tremors to my core. I'd never seen Shiro angry before, or upset, and now I'm getting to see both, directed at me.

"I… I know." Shiro states firmly, and I see the anger that boiled up to that moment simmer down almost immediately as the doors open. I have no idea how to take that series of emotions I just witnessed flit across Shiro’s face.

We all file into the command center quickly to our positions as Shiro barks, "Pidge, scan the download from the ship. Find out where Zarkon's Central Command is."

"On it!' She cries as she flies into her seat, typing away furiously at her holographic keyboard as Coran turns to us with a confused gaze from the bow of the ship. I can immediately see him scanning our party for Allura, his eyes widening when he sees she's not here.

"What happened?" Coran's voice immediately spikes in worry, _"Where's Allura?!"_

I awkwardly file in with the others, wringing my hands worriedly as I glance over at Shiro while biting my lip. Even upset and angry, Shiro is a grounding force, and I want to make sure that he stays that way. _But I sure as hell don’t want to be the one to tell Coran we lost Allura._

Shiro hesitates, but he spits out the words nonetheless, "They captured her. She sacrificed herself to save me." His gaze flickers from the floor, briefly to me as he meets Coran's gaze, "I didn't have a choice."

Coran is spitting mad as his hands curl into fists at his sides, his cheeks flaring bright red, _"How is that possible?!"_

"Coran," Shiro's voice has an edge of warning, "I'm sorry things didn't go as planned, but we can't focus on what went wrong. We just have to figure out how to make it right." His eyes meet mine again for the briefest moment as he turns to Pidge as he reasserts the same commanding yet desperate tone, "Pidge, anything?"

"Guys… look at this." Pidge’s voice shakes as she immediately launches a massive holographic schematic to the front of the bridge.

It's a massive ship, far bigger than even the Castle of Lions to scale, with pointed edges like X chromosomes in the shape of a diamond. It appears to also have the ability to expand and contract itself with a plane in the center, like a platform that connects all four limbs. I see some numbers on the side in… miles? The fucking ship is measured in  _miles?_

_This has got to be Zarkon’s command ship. I expect no less from a thousand year old dictator to have a massive vessel._

"Look at the size of it.." Coran murmurs in awe, his eyes wide as we investigate the schematic. It is... thirty miles long, from top to bottom, twenty from left to right.  _Jesus fucking Christ, it's as big as a town._

We're silent for a time before Pidge speaks, "I think we should go in right away." She turns to meet my gaze, "It's like Will said, every minute we waste gives time for Zarkon to prepare for us."

Lance nods sternly with his arms crossed, "I agree! We fly in, fly out, dust off our hands and walk away!"

I frown as I bite my lip in worry, "We have to have some sort of 'get in' and 'get out' strategy. Do we have any idea where Allura will be held when she gets there?" I ask, peering over Pidge's shoulder at the schematic for any helpful information, like a  _put all prisoners here_  part of the ship. Pidge frowns and shakes her head, typing into her hologram for more information.

Hunk grumbles in ill contentment, "Uh, do you guys not remember the Balmera?" Hunk frowns at us, "We could barely take out one fleet, but this? A base this size could hold  _thousands_  of fleets!" Hunk says with an exasperated look, peering at each of us in turn with wide brown eyes that glimmer in fear.

"Or," Keith cuts in, his expression neutral, "We shouldn't go on this mission at all."

We all balk awkwardly in silence. Keith keeps his arms crossed over his chest, yet his tone softens slightly as he attempts to explain, "Think about it: we'll be delivering the universe's only hope to the universe's biggest enemy."

We're silent for a time before Hunk murmurs, "Keith, that's cold, even for you. What if it was one of us, what if it was me? You wouldn't leave me, would you?" Hunk looks at Keith's placid expression and his frown deepens, "Would you?"

Keith bristles, crossing his arms tighter, "I'm not saying I like the idea, I'm just thinking like a Paladin!"

"No, you're just thinking of yourself!" Lance snaps back immediately, pointing an accusatory finger at Keith, "Because you're too scared to do what's right!"

Pidge quickly steps in, " _Okay,_ we're all upset because we lost Allura-" But before she can moderate the situation Coran jumps in with bared teeth as he shoots daggers over at Shiro where he stands behind his chair, "No,  _Shiro_  lost Allura!"

I feel my hands tremble, and I grit my teeth and before I can think about what I'm saying I shout, _"Shut it!"_

The command center is deadly silent. I turn, meeting everyone's eyes individually as they stare at me in bewilderment, "We are a _team._ We can't be bickering like this, like it's day one, when so much depends on us, when _Allura_ depends on us." I snap angrily, pointing to Zarkon's ship on the holographic screen. The others are silent as they stare at me with a matched expression of surprise.

I turn my gaze to Keith's, which isn't surprised, but definitely cloaked to hide his true emotions.  _Alright, how's this for thinking like a paladin_ , "Allura is our greatest ally and greatest asset to us in our fight against Zarkon, and her staying in his hands is dangerous not only for her, but also for each and every one of us. Her essence is tied to the lions, you don't think that Zarkon would know this and try to use that against us?"

Keith's gaze flickers a little as he steadily meets my gaze, and I speak in a more gentle tone, "Practicality doesn't always have to contradict empathy." For the first time since I've met him, Keith breaks eye-contact first, his eyes falling to his boots.

I turn to Lance and Coran with knitted eyebrows, "And I know standing here assigning blame isn't what Allura would want, and I know that you know that, too. It isn't about her when it comes to pointing fingers." I grit my teeth as I speak animately with my hands, “Designating fault does nothing, it's refractory and irrelevant in the grand scheme of things and we have _too much at stake_ for us to break right now. I know it hurts but we can't lash out, not now, not with so much on the line.” I frown at each of the party in turn, “Cope with your pain and your anger, but do it when the universe doesn't depend on our success as a team.”

Lance stares at me with wide eyes, the blue light of the overhanging crystal reflecting in his pupils as Coran looks down at his feet, shame faced. I'm surprised they don't interrupt me, or try to argue with me, and even I can feel that my words are harsh… But they're true. I can't just let them drive spikes into our team while I have anything to say about it, especially when they're speaking out of pain and fear rather than cooperation. We have to be strong, no matter what, when our friends need us. Even if it's just Allura, as Keith implies; once we allow something like this to occur, something sacrificial because of ease or practicality, we're no better than Zarkon. _And I’ll be damned if I let Allura, who’s already dealt with the death and loss of her entire people, suffer anymore at the Galra’s hands._

The others are quiet for several long seconds, and Shiro finally breaks it with a determined gaze, "Let's focus. How are we going to get Allura?"

"We have to find a suitable entrance, somewhere that's close to everything so we can get to wherever they're holding her." Pidge answers with furrowed eyebrows. There’s a tangible muted tone through the room, tense and taut like a bowstring.

Shiro nods and points towards our seats, "Alright, get to your stations. Take a piece of the ship and analyze it for any data that would be useful to finding Allura while Coran and I figure out a way to get to Central Command."

We nod, and we go our separate ways to our seats. I pull up the hologram and bring up the schematic of the ship.  _Fuck, it's massive, where the fuck should I start?_

 _Alright, if I were an evil dictator, where would I keep my most prized prisoner? Ok, bold of me to assume that Zarkon will even know Allura. But... Allura knew him, and she might be the first Altean he's seen since… Well, since he probably destroyed their planet, so even not knowing her station she’s worth something. Alright, so assuming she is his most prized prisoner… I'd want her at my side. Where would I be? In the middle, perhaps? I have to have a massive ego to rule for a thousand years, right? With all that fascist propaganda, and with a flag ship of this size..._  I investigate the different places, flurrying through my thoughts a mile a minute of possible methods this can go.

"Anything?" Shiro says after a minute, leaning over Lance's shoulder as he investigates the left hand side of the command center.

"There's no way in. They'll have us tracked at every direction!" Lance huffs in frustration, glancing over at Shiro with a discouraged expression.

"There's gotta be something. Keep looking." Shiro directs, disengaging from Lance's chair and pausing in the center of the room, before he strides over to Coran and speaks to him in a low tone.

I refocus on my task, pinching my brow as I let out a growl of frustration, "If I knew that this was something I was gonna be doing, I would've gone to the stupid Space Garrison. At least I wouldn't feel so stupid all the time in situations like this."

"Don't worry, you always look stupid, too." Lance grumbles in response, just under his breath but loud enough for me to hear him. My face flushes hot and I feel my fists clench, and I fight not to get out of my seat to punch him.

 _Let it go, Will. He's probably just hurt after what I said to him. Whatever, let him hate me, we have Allura to think about right now._  I clench my fists and dig my fingernails into the scar on my palm to keep myself grounded, like usual when I'm about to lose my temper.  _Take your own advice, don't lash out in anger. Gotta stay level headed for Allura._

"Everyone, eyes front!" Shiro suddenly calls, and we look up from our searching as he and Coran step up to the center, "We've got a plan to get Allura; we're gonna jump to the heart of the enemy, unseen and undetected."

Pidge blinks, "I thought we needed Allura to open a wormhole?"

"It's true that Allura powers the Castle's ability to travel through wormholes," Coran steps forward, his blue-gray eyes alight with newfound determination, "However, I think that we have enough of her residual essence stored in the system to make one jump." _I… is that how that works? How can a person’s essence be stored in a system? Is it like King Alfor’s?_

Coran turns to the holographic projector in the front and an image pops up of what looks like a solar system but as I look closer I see that the planets are seeming to orbit around an empty plot of space rather than a sun, varying sized bodies like Saturn's to Mars'. Yet as I look even closer, I realize it's not empty space they're circling, but a small, purple diamond,  _Zarkon's command._

 _Wow, his ego is so big he literally put his central command in the center of a solar system somehow. Definitely some fascist bullshit right there._  

"We'll hide the Castle here, inside one of the giant gas planets in Zarkon's command system." Coran continues, gesturing with a hand to the image as it amplifies of the gas planet's surface, the one that looks like Saturn. Coran turns his determined gaze back to us, not so much a gaze rather than a glower that sends chills up my spine, "The gas is so dense, we'll be hidden."

Shiro turns to us with a similar expression, "From there, we'll use the Castle to scan for Allura's energy on Zarkon's ship, and attack before Zarkon knows what hit him." _Scan for Allura’s energy? Is that even possible? Well, if it’s her essence that powers wormhole jumps then I suppose that that’s something that can be tracked-_

"There's only one hiccup." Coran's eyes are set and determined, "We have enough energy to wormhole in, but without Allura… We won't have the energy to wormhole out."

"That doesn't matter." Shiro answers sternly, "We're not leaving without her."

Coran seems to calm at this, nodding a little as Shiro turns to each of us, "Get to your stations, and get ready to wormhole." I turn and return to my seat, pulling up my holographic screen and typing in my commands to begin the jump. 

It's then that I get a sick feeling in my stomach. It feels like my lion's heartbeat is fluttering within me like wingbeats. I grasp the side of my seat as I shudder, speaking without thought, "I… I have a bad feeling about this."

"Okay, Will, you really need to stop saying that, because every time you've said you've had a bad feeling, or that something was coming, you were _always_ right, and I really would appreciate it if you would _stop being right!_ " Hunk calls over his shoulder.

I find myself managing a smile. _I can't help it though, it's like that same worming feeling when Shiro and Allura left the room back at the Galra base, except now it's ten times worse. I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin._ I dig my fingernails back into the scar on my right palm to distract myself.

"Commencing wormhole!" Coran cries over his shoulder as he boots the Castle's system, and with a thundering noise a wormhole rips open before us, blue and swirling with energy just like the first time. I take a deep breath and grip my seat hard so I don't shake about as we pass through.

When we spit out on the other side of the wormhole the glass is filled with nothing but swirling red, wispy-like smoke. However as we stand for a few moments I can see darkness beyond, the slight glimmer of stars, and a black diamond nestled in the center of silvered rings that surround this planet and the planets around it. _What are those for? They look kind of like spaceships except they’re ovular…_

"We're here." Shiro calls, standing from his position at the front.

Coran immediately begins to type away at his holographic keyboard and as we gather around he cries excitedly, "I'm detecting Allura's energy signature! From this distance the signal's pretty weak, but she's somewhere on Zarkon's main ship!"

Keith frowns at the hologram, "Gives us a starting point."

Coran nods as he continues to type away at his holographic keyboard, "Once we get closer, we'll be able to narrow down the location where the Princess is being held."

"Okay guys," Shiro begins with a determined tone, "This is it. Voltron's going to come in fast and without warning. We'll smash our way into Zarkon's ship and grab the Princess, and before they know what hit 'em, we'll have her and be on our way."

I frown and bite my lip, "I don't know, I… I know I have no basis to say this, but I don't think they'll be as reeling from our presence as you're expecting."

Shiro’s expression set and resolute, "We'll be fine as long as we're fast and we’re careful." I frown, but don't argue with him as he peers at each one of us with an expression that’s beginning to glow in confidence, "... Get to your lions."

We break from the front of the ship and head to our lion's hangers via the transporters in the command center. Upon arrival, I race up the White Lion's stairwell and into the piloting chamber, her controls snapping up in greeting as I sit.

"Alright, let's go." I murmur, caressing the controls fondly as I speak aloud to her, "And don't worry, I'm rested and feeling pretty good, so feel free to transfer any damage you get to me." I hear her purring within my chest in approval as my hanger bay opens at Coran's initiative, the red wisps of the gaseous surroundings sucking into my hanger as I press the White Lion out. As soon as I’m free I feel the energy pull from the others and their lions, drawing us together; I let out a breath, tightening my controls when I feel the others' presences, their essences, tangling with my own and with it come their worries, their anxieties. However as we entwine they seem to ease, like relaxing a tense muscle. I feel Lance trying to bottle his emotions _,_ Hunk’s absolute and unrestrained terror, Pidge’s borderline hysteria that’s carefully controlled beneath a steel wall, and Shiro’s internal turmoil and guilt, all building to the surface like a bubbling pot. When I open my eyes again, I engage Voltron's thrusters to dive towards Zarkon's command center full throttle.

As we get closer, the only sound the hum of Voltron's thrusters, the main vessel comes into better view. It's surrounded by faux, Galra-made rings like the vessel itself is a planet, each ring about as big around as moons themselves, and it only seems to get bigger as we get closer.  _Around the size I'd expect Zarkon's ego to be._

With a sudden crack, large, purple beams explode like lightning from the top and bottom of the command ship up into empty space above and below the little space system we're in, startling us all. The beams expand like a barrier, engulfing the entire system in a dark purple force-field. It's not a particle barrier, it moves like water around a stone, but it definitely is some sort of barrier all the way around the system. As soon as the barrier appears to fully encapsulate the system, it fades away like it never happened. 

I blink stupidly. _Wouldn't a barrier that big just trap Zarkon in? Why not protect his main ship?_ A dark thought crosses my mind, and my blood runs cold. 

_Maybe it's not for Zarkon's protection. Maybe it's to trap us in._

The awful worrying sensation deep within me seems to jump onto this idea, holding it tight in my stomach and gnawing at it angrily as I tighten my grip on my controls.

_Oh, that's bad._

"What is that?" Hunk cries over the com, and Pidge lets out a soft noise of anxiety, "I don't know, but I hope once we get the Princess we'll find a way outta here!"  _Yeah, a real important problem, but one we can't really deal with right now. No need to jump to conclusions._

Suddenly, the sides of the several Galra made rings surrounding the center open like thousands of massive garage doors, shifting the rings up with gargantuan thrusters. Slowly but surely,  _entire fleets_  of cruisers roll out into open space, I lose count of how many there are, they dot as numerous as the stars and they all begin to glow the same ominous purple. 

_How can there be so many? It's like they were waiting for us._

Pidge suddenly cries, "They're gonna fire!"

“Alright, one at a time, Team Voltron, let’s move!” Shiro barks. I engage Voltron's back thrusters into evasive action as thousands of purple lights streaks across space towards us and press us towards the nearest cruiser that's a few leagues ahead of us, the fastest one to pull out of the rings. We collide onto the middle section with a scream of metal and I press back the Red and Green lions to punch them down into the shell of the cruiser.

"Form sword!" Shiro cries, and I hear the Red Lion purr as Keith's bayard engages. With a blossom of blue and silver light, the sword appears embedded in the cruiser, red hot metal peeling back as we carve through the bottom of the ship like butter, the broken pieces flying off and floating into empty space. Without pause we launch to the next cruiser, sword at the ready as we impale the side. It begins to fire its ion cannon into empty space a second too late to strike us, and I press the White Lion's controls forward to engage Voltron's thrusters. We shove the cruiser into the cruiser next to it with loud explosions of metal and with a flick of the Red Lion's maw we carve through the two cruisers and blast through the third on the far side, ashy metal and debris scattering in our wake. 

_We just destroyed, or at least heavily debilitated, four entire, massive Galra cruisers in less than a minute. Alright, good start. Already broke our record for the two cruisers we've beaten before. Maybe all that training was worth it._

"More trouble, straight ahead!" Lance calls, and I turn my gaze forward and spot at least twenty Galra cruisers lined up ahead of us, _fuck this is so fucking many, how are we going to get out of this unscathed?_ They fire their ion cannons and I press Voltron into evasive action in junction with Lance and Hunk to avoid the beams. _That monster on the Balmera prepared us for this part, at least, dodging multiple beams at once._

Shiro must've thought along the same lines as he shouts, "Form shoulder cannon!" I hear the Yellow Lion purr as Hunk engages his bayard, and with a whir of crackling metal a heavy weight rests on our shoulders with a flash of gold and a loud whine. Without hesitation, the cannon fires whirling shots honed in on the Galra ships, swirling through space like lost faeries. I engage Voltron's thrusters to minimize the kickback, and after several explosions and shredding of metal, the cruisers explode where the shots strike, no doubt rendering the ship useless, or at least really debilitated.

_Voltron is a weapon. I forget that sometimes, how we talk about we're a force of peace and whatnot... Voltron is a weapon, a weapon beyond imagining… and I feel that we’ve only scratched the surface of what it’s capable of._

Beyond the wrecked debris lies Zarkon's vessel. The other Galra cruisers are too far away behind us now to stop us, as the part of the rings that they left are much farther from the cruisers we just dealt with, we've carved a path through them. “We should be fine to approach!” I shout as I engage the thrusters and send us forward.

"To Zarkon's ship!" Shiro agrees as we press through debris, the shoulder cannon disengages to allow for better movement through the floating wreckage as we make our way towards the ship.

Like the drop of a coin the bad feeling I was developing in my stomach gets worse, my entire body screaming like something is just...  _wrong._  Like using the word pleasure in an innocent sentence, or going to a Denny's in the middle of the afternoon.

"This is wrong, something's wrong, something is really wrong!" I cry.

Suddenly, almost as if on queue, the entirety of Voltron seizes up. My controls freeze in place, and my holographic panels pulse with loud crackles and pops like my power got short circuited. I blink, stunned, and I try pressing random buttons to try and fix it, but nothing responds. It's the epitome of a high-tech blue screen of death.

"What's happening?!" Hunk cries anxiously over the com, and with a flash of blue the sword that Voltron held vanishes into thin air.

Keith growls, "We lost the sword! Something's malfunctioning!"

"What's happening?" Coran's voice comes over the com and Lance swiftly responds, "Somebody do something! Voltron's frozen up!"

That's when I realize Shiro's quiet. Awfully quiet. I close my eyes, instinctively honing in on our intermingled essences that hold Voltron together like back on Arus. I feel the permeating distress coming from the Black Lion, unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, but it’s strange, I feel like I’m grabbing at a rope that’s slipping between my fingers.

"Shiro? Shiro, are you okay?" I call into the com, tapping my helmet in worry.

"Shiro!" Keith cries.

Shiro snarls with a loud escape in breath, _"I-I can't hold it!"_

Suddenly I hear it, seeping into my head like sickly sea-foam, a chuckling, evil voice that I recognize from a distant memory:  _"You were a fool to bring Voltron here."_

A massive pulse reverberates through the White Lion, causing her to roar as a blast hurdles us away. I blink, and when I look out through the White Lion's eyes I see that we had been torn apart into our individual lions, each of us pulsing with purple electrical energy. Slowly, my controls come back online one at a time in a slow wave.

"What just happened there?" Hunk breathes in disbelief, "Something just tore us apart!"

"I don't know!" Lance barks, "But we've got bigger problems right now. Look!" Once all of the White Lion's controls return to normal, I turn her to find the Blue Lion to my right, who’s facing farther right. I press the White Lion in motion to see at least a solid hundred cruisers pouring out of one of the Galra rings surrounding the command center, and they're now in firing range.  _Damnit, our head start is shorted._

Keith growls under his breath, "Why do I get the feeling that these guys knew we were coming?"

Hunk whines before he cries dramatically into the mic, "Ugh, Will, _why do you always have to be right?!_ "

The others launch forward to engage them and I watch as thousands of little streams of red light, like fireworks, rain from another ring above my head: drone fighters. _Alright, guess we’re doing this now. Bring the pain._

I smash the White Lion's lance button on my console, the wide weapon appearing with a flash of light in her jaws, the glistening pearly blades on the ends reflecting the starlight. Without wasting a second we dash forward towards the oncoming fighters from the ring, high up the command ship. We slice through fighter after fighter as they pour out until I lost count after fifty, but there seem to be no end to them. However, strangely enough they aren’t firing on me, they’re just… getting in my way, weaving around me like a bunch of annoying, large gnats. I'm practically wading through debris to destroy more.

That’s when I get the same awful sensation in my stomach, worming inside and causing me to shudder, something coming from behind me.  _What the fuck is this feeling? Why does it keep happening?_  When I shred the last fighter closest to me, I turn the White Lion towards the command ship to find the source.

That's when I see the Black Lion, engulfed entirely in some purple energy that had swallowed us in Voltron, being dragged towards the main platform of the ship. 

_Shiro._

"Shiro? Shiro, come in!" I call, but there's no answer.

Hunk growls in frustration, "Ah, there's no end to these guys!"

I twist the White Lion towards the Black Lion's position with some difficulty, knocking drone debris aside with each movement, just a Galra cruiser rises in front of me with its ion cannon trained on the White Lion. 

_For fuck's sake, can you get out of the way?_

_Now I never thought I’d say that to an entire evil alien warship._

I bare my teeth and charge forward with a battle cry, ripping the sharpened ends of the White Lion's lance into the shell with the immediate sound of screaming metal, leaving a series of rippling blasts in my wake but when I turn about face from the pass it doesn't seem to affect the cruiser as much as I was hoping it would, it’s merely a key scratch along its surface. _I don’t have time for dealing with this clown, I need to get to Shiro!_

Out of the blue, a powerful azure beam descends from the sky like an angel of vengeance, utterly destroying the cruiser and ripping straight through it with a massive explosion that I feel within my cabin, followed by Coran howling in excitement over the com, _"Coran attack! I've been waiting a thousand years for this!"_ I smirk a little at the arrival of the Castle of Lions as it begins firing on the ships with powerful blasts that destroy ship after ship with its pulsing blue fire; so this is the might of the Castle when it’s at full power.

But with the sheer number of cruisers, even the ones who were struck, there are still hundreds of ion cannons that could destroy it if they’re given the chance. _We have to get back together and find Allura, and fast._ I turn and focus back on the Black Lion, a significant distance away as it’s being dragged towards the central platform of the command center. _We can’t without Shiro. What the fuck is going on with his Lion?!_   _And more importantly, why isn’t he answering the com?_

I wade the White Lion through the debris as fast as I can manage, but I keep crashing into parts that don't look too big but are actually rather big. I hear scraping along the side of my lion when I move her through tight spots, clumsy and reeling to the point I keep losing track of Zarkon’s ship and getting turned around.  _Shit fuck, I'm a terrible fucking flier, this is like walking through a cornfield!_  

I grit my teeth, finding my way back towards the command center for the third time as Keith shouts, "Shiro! Are you okay?"

I hear crackling over the com, like interference, but I hear Shiro's voice on the other side just barely coming through, "Something's overriding my controls! My lion's not responding!"

"Keith, he's trapped in a beam that's dragging him to the main ship!" I cry, pressing my lion through the debris, "I got all turned around! You're the better flier, get to him, quick!"

No sooner do I say the words does a red streak soar past me and weave through the debris like that's what Red was born to do. I follow the trail Keith leaves, although I'm less agile with my inexperience his course makes my progress much faster as we approach the Black Lion's position. I press the controls forward when I gain some momentum when suddenly my lion starts… growling in my chest. Straight up growling, not purring like she's done in the past, she is growling, _in anger_ . I press my palm against the controls with a deep frown. I've never felt her… feel like this before. I've sensed her satisfaction, her displeasure, her pride, but never something so powerful as rage. Worried, I reach out to her in this strange connection we seem to have deep in my chest, touching the White Lion’s stone around my neck. I'm met with immediate rage, rage with such depth and hate that I physically recoil.  _Jesus Christ! What makes you feel this way?_

I'm filled with a sense of dread, the same creepy, foamy feeling crawling into my mind like back on that Galra base when that figure cast that lightning as the same amused yet also firm voice from before chuckles, full of self satisfaction,  _"Your connection is weak."_  I let out a soft breath with wide eyes, my arms trembling as I stare at the Black Lion, engulfed in purple light.  _What the hell is happening?_

"What do we do now, guys? Our plan isn't really working out as… well, planned!" Hunk calls over the com as the Black Lion suddenly stops in its ascent, opening its maw. I watch as something small flies out, before it continues to go up towards the heart of the command ship, shutting its jaws like a hand clapped its chin and forced it up. _Only a minute out, Keith and I are almost there!_

After a few seconds of silence, Lance calls out, "Shiro, what do we do?"

"I'm going for the Black Lion." Shiro gasps back, like he's out of breath. 

It clicks. I realize that the small form that I just saw flying out of the Black Lion's mouth… it was Shiro. He lost control of the lion… No. His lion  _rejected_ him. Literally.  _How?!_

“Shiro? Where are you?” I bark, banking as I try to get out of the way of a large, spinning piece of a wrecked Galra cruiser.

"You guys get the Princess, now!" Shiro demands as I grow closer, I watch Keith heading straight for the Black Lion. 

_I've got to find Shiro and bring him back to the Black Lion._

"I've identified Allura's exact location! Uploading the coordinates to you now!" Coran states over the com, and sets of numbers come up on the holographic panel on my left, "In the meantime, I'll provide cover fire from out here! All alone! Against an entire fleet! So, _please do hurry!_ "

I glance at the coordinates briefly, and before I can think my actions through I dismiss them. Something's telling me deep in my gut that whatever's happening with the Black Lion is definitely something that we have to deal with,  _and now. I hope Hunk, Lance, and Pidge can get to her without me, but we’ll be just as bad off if we get Allura and lose the Black Lion, or worse, Shiro._ I peer out of my lion’s gaze, frantically searching through empty space for any signs of Shiro, but he's too small, there's no way I…

I pause, glancing down at my controls, and something beyond instinct, a deep deep gut feeling draws me to close my eyes and lean back against my seat. _I can't find him on my own. Please, show me. Where is Shiro?_

My blackened vision grows to be tinged yellow as I see out of my lion's eyes, no longer seeing the controls but rather as if I am within my lion herself.  _Well thank fucking God that worked, we don’t have time for mistakes._ I scan the ship, searching for any sign of Shiro when the Black Lion expelled him.  _Where is he, show me where he is._

"My jetpack's damaged, I have to go through the ship." Shiro's voice floats wearisomely over the com and my attention snaps to a sudden, small pin of purple light up on the ship, something I wouldn’t have noticed if my gaze wasn’t so sharp, I feel like I’m wearing tinted, high definition goggles. Immediately I race towards it, following the faded light like the north star.

When I arrive, I see a circular hole in the ship from where Shiro had entered. He's long gone.

I growl under my breath in frustration and immediately I'm broken from my connection with my lion like my outburst ripped us apart. I open my eyes again and grasp my controls. _I can’t follow him into the ship, but it’ll be alright. Shiro’s in the ship, he’s headed for the Black Lion… I should too, get it somewhere he can get back inside._

"You guys get the Princess without me." Keith states over the com.

Lance immediately retaliates, "What? We've gotta stick together, what are you doing?!"

"Whatever I can." Keith answers curtly, and I detract from my lion's gaze above me, back in search for the Black Lion. Above me with a flash of red, Keith hurtles through space towards the central platform far above me, and hot on his tail are a handful of fighters, firing red bolts into the sky. Keith rolls to avoid them expertly, but it's slowing his progress towards the platform. I immediately press forward on the White Lion's controls and engage her lance, slicing through the fighters with a toss of her head, their pieces fly in all different directions.

I double back to follow Keith, "I'm with him, get Allura!"

I hear Keith growl in frustration under his breath that I don't think he meant to be heard over the com, but due to the situation I'm glad he didn't feel the need to object.  _I'm sure he's also pissed off about when I did this earlier. And about what I said in the Castle._

_Whatever, I'll give a group apology later if we survive this._

_If? No. When._

The Red Lion soars forward, and up ahead I see that the Black Lion is approaching the center platform, the heart of the ship, but as I see it up closer it looks like it’s in open space. As we barrel even closer, I can barely see small figures upon them, which is strange considering it is in empty space like this. _How are they able to survive? I guess they must be in suits-_

Something inside me, my lion, shakes in sudden, unbridled rage. There’s something familiar to her, to me, and I feel my own hands tremble. _What the hell?_

I delve inside, reaching out to her through our connection and grasping tightly onto the White Lion’s stone when I'm suddenly completely engulfed, blood red taints my vision as I feel her rage as my own.

**_YOU. YOU MONSTER, YOU MURDERER-_ **

I recoil away from her so fast I physically feel my back hit the back of my seat. A voice, one I've never heard before yet somehow recognize, screams through me like a sword running through my chest, and I clasp a hand over my ear until it fades out and I’m left gasping in my seat.

My lion just spoke. I just heard her speak. Real words, not images. Real. Words. Dripping in raw, pure  _rage._

"Who? Who is it?" I ask aloud, looking at my lion’s controls as I place my palms back upon them to keep us on course, hurtling through space.

Hunk asks with a confused voice over the com, "Who what?"

I race behind Keith as he finally catches up to the Black Lion. With a loud clang, Keith hurtles the Red Lion into the side of the Black just as it's arriving to the platform, the force of the blow sends the Black Lion flying into the side of the ship a solid bit away from the platform with a might boom, leaving a sizable, meteor-sized crater in the side of the ship. But, considering the size of the ship itself, it’s barely a dent. The Red Lion moves to follow at a less frantic pace and I let out a sigh of relief. The purple energy that had engulfed the Black Lion has faded, but it lays on its side with its eyes dimmed, inactive. _Okay, Shiro must’ve noticed that, he’s close to that position, he’ll be able to get to his Lion from there. I’m glad Keith was able to break that weird hold that was upon it, what_ **_was_ ** _that?_

I notice movement out of the corner of my eye, and I watch from where I am trailing behind the Red Lion as a spark of purple rises from the platform, such a small form I can't see anything beyond its ligh. It descends at a surprising speed down towards the Black Lion like a firefly gliding through space.

Immediately my vision, no, my lion's vision goes red, and she moves at her own volition. I jolt back in my seat as she charges forward with a furious roar and I gasp as my arms are jerked forward when the controls move on their own. 

 _Holy fuck, she's never done that before, she usually shows me what to do, not take matters into her own hands!_  "Silver, whoa, whoa whoa, easy, what the hell are you so upset about?" I cry out but following her volition as she charges forward with renewed speed, such speed that I didn't think she was capable of as her legs pump in the air to build her momentum faster.

The purple light flickers as it lands before the Black Lion, and Keith in the Red Lion hesitates as he circles the figure from above, "Whoa, who is that?"

"That's my question, whoever they are, my lion seriously has a bone to pick with them!" I answer, frowning as Keith's perspective filters into our holographic screens. I can barely see the figure's face as my lion's moving too fast for me to fully focus on it, I'm getting closer by the second, racing at speeds I didn't think my lion was capable of, I’ll be upon Keith in a second. 

Coran audibly gasps so loud it causes my com to ring in my ears,  _"It's Zarkon!"_

My eyes widen and I suck in breath, suddenly remembering the face of a true maniac that flashed across the screen when I was Sendak's prisoner.  _Yellow eyes, pupilless, shadowed visage and fanged teeth in a dark grin. That's him. That small spark is the reason why we're Paladins of Voltron. That's the egotistical maniac that's ruled the known universe for a thousand years._

 _And my lion not only recognizes him, but she fucking_ **_hates_ ** _him._

_How could she possibly recognize him, how could she know him?_

"Keith, Will, get out of there, now!" Coran cries, "Zarkon is too powerful, your lions will be destroyed!"

A small part of me wants to disregard Coran's worry, but a larger piece of me is immediately filled with apprehension.  _How could one being so small destroy our lions? They're our freaking_ **_lions_ ** _for crying out loud, I don't think I can think of another weapon that's more powerful that one_ **** _lion, nevertheless two!_

_So why would Coran say that one mortal being could destroy both of our lions?_

Keith's voice wavers, "This is my chance to put an end to the Galra Empire." I hear him take a small breath, and I watch ahead of me through my lion's eyes as the Red Lion suddenly pulses forward just as my lion races past him, "I have to take it!" My lion races forward in sync with the Red Lion, our speeds joint as we barrel towards the small form.

"Yeah, uh, would love to leave, but my lion kind of has other plans, like ripping Zarkon to pieces." I reply to Coran anxiously, biting my lip as the Black Lion and Zarkon's figure grow ever closer.

He's so small. _One small thing can cause so much destruction in the galaxy?_

Suddenly, a new button flashes on my panel, one I'd never seen before, but before I can even read what it says my lion presses the on her own accord. Her entire body hums with energy, the outside metal of her body shimmering like quicksilver and with a loud roar the cabin quakes as she sends a massive pulse of power that I can practically feel towards the purple spark that approaches the Black Lion lying motionless on the ground. The powerful thrum of energy sends Zarkon hurtling through the air and away from the Black Lion but right as he seems to right himself on the metal frame of his vessel with a blue beam blasts him from the Red Lion beside me. Smoke flies from our strikes to the ship, and as it clears I see a dark purple wall barred in front of Zarkon.

Now that I'm close I can see his suit, black with accents of red and violet along his being with a long flowing, crimson cape, _because of course he has one_ . As the deep, dark amethyst shield falls, I see clenched in Zarkon's large fist is... _a bayard? Is that a bayard he's holding?_

It's familiar, it has that curled metal around his fist with the bar in the middle just like the rest of our bayards. Zarkon's bayard is completely black, save for mauve and white clenched just under Zarkon's fingers.  _It is a bayard… A black bayard._

Zarkon's bayard extends, and with a powerful pulse a long, violet longsword, as large as Zarkon himself, appears in his grasp. Keith and I stare in bewilderment, I think we both can't believe that that shield was able to absorb Keith's blast. _His lion's beams are the most powerful of all of us!_

With a powerful swing, Zarkon sends a cascade of shadowy energy like a slice of smoke through the darkness of space directly into the Red Lion, sending the whole thing flying backward into space with a violent pulse. 

_What the fuck?!_

"Guys, I found the Princess! What do we do?" Hunk cries, but before I can collect what's happening my arms jerk forward from where I clutch onto my lion's controls. My lion roars deep in my chest, her entire body is  _shaking_ she's filled with so much _hate and anger_ as she charges forward. Her claws rake into the metal of the ship as she pounces on Zarkon's position, but when we look between our paws we find that they're empty. We snap our gaze from side to side, but we're too late as a sharp wave of power plows into us, a violent force unlike anything I've experienced. Immediately the White Lion and I are sent flying, and I cry out in pain as I feel the cut, a long, sharp slice from my shoulder to my hip across my back. As soon as we crash against the dark metal of the ship, I feel blood soaking into my side from the strike, stinging, burning agony piercing every fiber of my being.

_Ow._

We dig our claws into the purple metal, snarling as we right ourselves. I vaguely hear Pidge, Hunk, and Lance talking into the com about Hunk's butt? I can't really tell as my ears are ringing like crazy. I shake my head with a snarl, and as I focus past the pain I tighten my grip the controls and shout at my lion, "Okay, if you aren't gonna listen to me, at least help me watch out for us both here if you're gonna just transfer it to me! It's not just you here, you know!"

The Red Lion soars over my head as the White Lion rights herself, having recovered from Zarkon’s strike. Keith fires the lion's mouth laser at Zarkon, which he somehow easily shields with his bayard.  _How is he, a Galra, able to withstand a force like that? These beams aren't like the lasers from guns, they're heavy duty fucking lasers, with a diameter at least as large as Zarkon. They're fucking powerful, they rip through the exoskeleton of a Galra battle cruiser, so how is he able to absorb it in a shield? How?!_

The Red Lion charges forward as Zarkon's shield falls and pounces,and I watch as he glows, apparently coming from the small thrusters in his suit, and escapes to the side in the nick of time, his cloak billowing behind him as his feet settle several leagues from the Red Lion. _He’s mastered flying in zero gravity._ Zarkon’s bayard extends into its sword form again as Keith turns with the gaze of an apex predator towards Zarkon, and for a few tense seconds the Red Lion and Zarkon stare one another down across the surface of the ship. I would consider a being so small against an actual massive mechanical lion wouldn't be a challenge, but apparently, not only is he able to survive, he's kind of kicking our asses. 

_Fuck. Coran was fucking right, he's far more powerful than we realized._

_I have to protect Keith._

The Red Lion charges forward and fires its mouth laser, but Zarkon dodges to the side with the thrusters in his suit with ease, he’s too small and too quick. As the Red Lion streaks by, he lashes forward with his bayard and slices the side of the Red Lion with such force that it throws Keith off balance, crashing his lion into the side of the ship just a few leagues away. My lion and I, now with the same goal and mentality, race forward at an astonishing speed, I hear her within me screaming in rage.

Out of the corner of my eye I see the Red Lion's unmoving form against the ship, and even from here I can see the deep, gaping crevice in the side of the lion’s armor on her side. I can't tell my own rage and the White Lion's apart any more as I see the button that my lion pressed on her own earlier light up with an aggressive, beeping noise. Thankful that at least my lion's working  _with_ me now, I smash it without question and a whole body pulse echoes from her being and rattles the cabin. It's not quite a laser, it's not quite a soundwave, it's like... a focused sonic boom, like the Unrelenting Force shout from Elder Scrolls LLX. This pulse is more powerful than the first, which apparently surprises Zarkon as his shield doesn't protect him from hurtling out into open space, his small form indistinguishable from the blackness of eternity.

With him dealt with, at least for a second, I race to where the Red Lion had fallen.  _Why isn't he getting up? Why isn't he getting up?_

"We have to help Shiro!" Hunk cries into the com, "Change of plans! Lance, Pidge, guard my butt!" _Did I just hear him right?_

I feel guilt well in my throat. I feel like I'm abandoning Hunk, Pidge, and Lance to not only getting Allura out of there, but now apparently getting Shiro from wherever he is within the ship. But based on how this battle with Zarkon's going, I can't leave Keith's side. With us both we stand a fighting chance, but Keith alone? Zarkon might just be able to win. A minute ago I would’ve considered it impossible, but it’s evident now that this isn’t true, he’s more powerful than we anticipated. 

_This is why Shiro said we should never split up… But I can’t let Keith take on Zarkon alone._

I snarl under my breath as the White Lion leaps across the ship's surface until we're stand over the Red Lion protectively, with our backs faced outward into space. I can hear over the com as Keith struggles to bring its controls back to responsiveness. Faintly, among the sea of stars I see a small purple light getting closer, such a small thing… _I never considered how Zarkon must've had the power to rule for a thousand years. I thought it was through fascist propaganda, but maybe… Maybe those fears of his power were well founded. Maybe rebellions have risen and fallen by his own hand because he has the power to do so. Or maybe he has had a millennium to gather this kind of power._ The violet light elongates as Zarkon engages his bayard into its sword form.

"Keith, get the fuck up!" I bark. The violet spark draws closer the White Lion and I brace ourselves, digging our claws into the ship as we stand our ground, hunching protectively over the Red Lion with a deep, menacing growl in our throats.  _If it comes I’ll take it, that gash in the Red Lion’s side is no joke, I can’t let him get another hit. Not when I can take it instead._ My side trembles and stings as I find myself sitting for more than two seconds in one position and I can feel something hot and sticky conglobulated along my side, under my shoulder. _That’s a big cut, I can tell but I think the adrenaline’s reducing its effects right now, so that means a second hit won’t be too bad-_

Keith's voice is exasperated over the com, "She isn’t listening! Will, get out of here!"

"Not until you  _get up!_ " I snap back frantically. I watch as Zarkon swings the weapon from his far off position in a deadly arc and a wave of sharp violet energy comes rushing to my direction like a deadly tsunami. 

 _I can't get the Red Lion out without risking them being hit. I have to take it so they don't have to. Fuck that last blast hurt real bad, my side is literally on fire right now and I know that as soon as the adrenaline wears off I'm hardly going to be able to move, but I have to. I won't let Keith take that hit, I don’t know if the Red Lion will be able to stand it. But I can._ I stand my ground, leaning the White Lion's head down so the full force of the blow hits us, hits me, square in the back, while also covering the Red Lion as much as physically possible. I brace myself and grit my teeth.

A flash of white hot pain waves over me, so intense and fiery that I don't realize that my lion and I are sent flying until we crash against the ship, the violent jostle jolting me in my seat. I gasp and on instinct I quickly twist her around and dig our claws into the metal to give her more traction, barely preventing us from being launched into empty space. I feel more blood soaking into my suit, stinging with every movement I make, adding fresh blood to the enraged slash along my side, but this one’s directly down my spine, from the base of my neck to my waistline. It feels like when Sendak’s claw stabbed me but then the blade moved and instead ripped down my spine.

I glance down and I vaguely see blood smearing on the underside of my arm-guards, probably from me moving around so much. _I don't have time to worry about that now. I have to protect Keith and the Black Lion long enough for Shiro to get here and get it before Zarkon can, because that's what he wants. He somehow dragged the Black Lion to him, he ripped Shiro out, and now he's trying to... I think he's trying to take it for himself, and somehow he has the power to do it._

_We have to keep him distracted, even if we can't beat him. Just like the monster on the Balmera. And that turned out great!_

I see the Red Lion slowly rise to his feet,  _thank god,_  just as Zarkon lands on the ship between him and I. His violet sword swings in another wide arc, streaking across the sky towards the Red Lion and I barely have time to shout a warning. Luckily, Keith dodges the blast with a quick burst of thrusters, and the blast travels beyond, instead striking one of the many massive Galra rings that surround the station. As soon as the wave of power collides, I watch as the entire section to explode.  _Christ, how is his weapon so powerful?_

"Will! Get Keith out of there!" Coran cries again, probably after hearing our exchange, but I ignore him as I dash towards Zarkon. I swipe my lion's claw as we rush him in a wide sweep so he can't roll to the side, but instead he dodges by flying straight into the air with a flash of purple thrusters. We duck out of the way as Zarkon descends with his sword, cracking the metal and sending a massive explosion into his ship in the space where we just stood.  _Does he not care about not destroying his own ship?_

"Will, Keith, do you copy?!" Coran's voice reaches another octave in worry, and I watch as the Red Lion soars down onto the spot Zarkon landed with a blade in its jaws. "Listen to me, he's too powerful, you have no idea who you're dealing with, it's imperative that you don't engage-"

"With all due respect, Coran, we're ignoring you so we can survive, get back to us once Shiro gets his lion back!" I yell back, gritting my teeth as Keith races towards Zarkon's small form in the massive crater he created. I engage the White Lion's laser within her maw and fire on Zarkon from the other side of the Red Lion's position in an attempt to flank him.

Zarkon dodges my blast by engaging his thrusters and flying upwards, and with another arc of his weapon a blast of black energy slices through the air at the Red Lion; Keith barrels rolls out of the way just in time. I attempt to gun Zarkon down while he's in the air with my laser from a ways in the air but he evades with the assistance of whatever thrusters he has in his suit.  _Those annoying thrusters- if he was the size of a pod he wouldn’t be so hard to hit._

Keith soars up into space in order to double back, but as soon as the Red Lion's back is turned Zarkon swings his sword in a smaller arc, less of a full body movement than a jab. Like lightning, a violet shock snaps forward and strikes the Red Lion square in the back, sending the Red lion crashing back down to the ship's surface.  _He's so small, how is he able to be so strong? The Red Lion and I are literally as big as houses…_ **_How is he so powerful?!_ **

The Red Lion is not moving as Zarkon's form stills, and with a burst of dark thrusters he glides forward like a spectre of death.

"No!" Keith growls in frustration followed by the sound of frantic metal clanging, and I immediately launch forward and swipe the White Lion's claws at Zarkon, standing between him and the Red Lion. He dodges with ease, and for the first time he's close enough that I can see his face, his fanged teeth, and his strange, eerily glowing golden eyes, even from here.

The voice from earlier, his voice, I know that now, intrudes into my mind like black mold, reverberating in my head so violently I wince and grab my temples, _"Another child to command the most powerful weapon in the universe. The White Lion's failure will always be its sentimentality."_

He raises his sword, but just before he strikes a massive bout of something like molten lava barely misses the side of my lion and blazes through space like a flamethrower. I gasp and roll out of the way as fast as I can just as Zarkon raises his bayard's shield in just the nick of time, but the blast is so powerful it sends him reeling backwards through space. I roll to my lion's feet as Zarkon's shield flickers, but just before it breaks he twists and dives down to avoid the blast as it gives away, the violent scarlet flame-like substance burning another section of one of the Galra rings surrounding the ship and melting pieces into nothing but molten metal floating like gelatinous goo through space.I look up, shaking as I try to recollect my breath to find where the blast came from when my gaze locks on the Red Lion.

There's now has a clawed gun on its back with three tongs, like those claws in those arcade games that are totally rigged. In the center, nestled between the claws, is a brilliant, molten lava core that pulses with raw power, like the essence of a volcano nestled in its claws about the size of Zarkon himself. 

I watch as Keith fires his new gun upon Zarkon again, and with a burst of thrusters Zarkon races along the sides of his ship in an effort to escape the firestorm. Keith growls under his breath over the com as the Red Lion launches into the air to hunt him down like a vengeful hawk as he retreats around his own ship. The crimson lava center flares and then surges, firing a steady, powerful stream of pure, superheated plasma in a concentrated beam like the open maw of a furious dragon. The burning blast rips through space and leave destruction and molten metal carved in its wake along the sides of Zarkon's ship as the Red Lion pursues Zarkon’s evasive maneuvers. I struggle to get my lion back on her feet, and as I yank my controls forward I let out a pained gasp as a painful sting rips through my back. I feel more blood oozing from my back and into my suit from the wound on my back, probably reopened the preemptive clotting with that movement. I grit my teeth and press on her controls, but she's slower… weaker. _Oh no._  With a shaky hand I bring up her composition on my hologram, and a flashing red portion of her side pops up insistently. 

_So, she actually did get grazed by Keith's blast... she just didn't transfer it to me._

"Aw, girl." I murmur, and rest my palms on the controls in a comforting manner, "It's alright, I'll be alright, keep letting me take the hits, I'd rather take it so you don't have to. Come on, we gotta help Keith." I encourage under my breath, and with renewed strength we rise to our feet. I look up just in time to see Zarkon smash the Red Lion in the back with his sword. I wince just watching the blade carve into the Red Lion's hull as Keith crashes down against the side of the ship with a billow of smoke... and lies still. 

_Not again._

I press the White Lion forward immediately, and although my body shaking at the idea of taking another blow, I don't question the thought of a third wound as Zarkon descends with his sword at hand. The Red Lion doesn't move, and I hear Keith growling, "Come on, _come on!_ "

I leap in front of the Red Lion, baring my teeth as the White Lion opens her maw and physically  _roars_ , not just through me in my head, but through space itself at Zarkon’s approaching form, but it doesn’t deter him, he doesn’t pause, he descends. I close my eyes as I brace myself for another violent attack...

It doesn't come. I blink and open my eyes as the final spurts of a fiery violet beam end, coming from the left  _out of nowhere._ I watch as Zarkon's small form gets launched violently into space, like he got shot from a cannon, which would’ve been hilarious if I wasn’t so downright relieved. I turn and let out a shaky sigh of utter relief to see the Black Lion, back on its feet, its golden eyes regarding us warmly as it descends.  _Thank fucking God, it's Shiro._

"I got you buddy!" Shiro cries in a worried, parental tone as the Black Lion swoops down and lifts the Red Lion in his claws. I fly underneath them, engaging the White Lion's thrusters with vague sputtering to hold him from underneath as we follow Shiro back to the Castle of Lions. Immediately my back begins to burn, especially the cut down my spine but I shoulder it as best as I can, gritting my teeth and gripping the White Lion’s controls all the harder.

I look up at the Red Lion in worry, at the gaping, smoking rips in her hull and exposing the banded iron tendons beneath. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for that hit, Keith." I let out a tired breath, true guilt forming a lump in my throat, and I find that my voice is shaking.

Keith doesn't answer, or say anything, and that brings me more worry, "Keith?"

"I'm here." He states evenly, and I let out a breath as we approach the Castle. _Just as long as he's okay, that's all that matters. Even if he's pissed, even if he hates me, I don't care right now. God, I don't fucking care. My back fucking_ **_hurts-_ **

"Alright Paladins, let's get out of here!" I hear Allura's voice over the com, melodic and as determined as always. Immediately my eyes close in absolute joy at the sound of her voice, and my hands relax a little on my controls. I let out a loud, relieved sigh as the others chorus in victory over the coms, and I murmur in reply, "Glad to have you back, Princess." 

_God fucking bless Lance, Hunk, and Pidge for getting her out of there… I'm so sorry I didn't help. I wish I could split into two lions so I could be in both places at once… but it’s not like I would’ve made much of a difference. I feel utterly useless, I’m nothing better than a human shield. But hey, that was something useful, at least._

As we approach the Castle, I watch with bated breath for a wormhole, ready to get us out of here to safety, far away. As we draw closer, I feel my rising hope fall as no wormhole appears, nothing but black, empty space surrounded by the wreckage of the Galra cruisers littering the blackness.

Hunk cries out anxiously as purple lasers begin to fire from behind us from the approaching cruisers, "Uh, what's going on, why isn't there a wormhole?"

I hesitate with the Black Lion outside of the ship instead of opening my hanger, frowning deeply. I disengage a bit, the Black Lion bearing the Red Lion fully as I double back and stare behind at the encroaching Galra ships.  _It’s a sea of black and violet. Where are the stars?_

Coran's voice is high strung in damn near hysteria, "That shielding around the system is jamming our signal! We can't create one!"

I gaze at the thousands of Galra ships that now are closing in on us from all sides, like a pack of bloodthirsty wolves descending upon us. There are more purple lights in the sky than stars around us. That purple field earlier… I knew that was gonna be an issue. 

_From the bottom of my heart… Fuck you, Zarkon._

I tighten my grip on my controls and set my jaw, "We're all getting out of here, one way or another. I'll slow them down, you guys protect the Castle and run!"

"Will, no!" Shiro barks over the com in a tone that leaves no room for argument. I ignore him as I press on the controls and launch forward, the push causes my back to burn and sting anew but I bite my lip with a gasp to keep it suppressed, the White Lion rolls with me with eager strides as we leap through space. Once I'm close enough, I engage the closest cruiser to the ship; _even if I can’t take it out, I can distract it and the other closest cruisers._ The White Lion moves with me without question, and I feel her determination fill me with hot, raging warmth. As I approach the Galra cruiser begins to power up its ion cannon, but as it pulses purple in preparation to fire the White Lion immediately clamp her jaws over the thick middle that’s as big around as the Yellow Lion and rips it out of the ship with a scream of metal with a force that I never thought was possible, considering the nozzle’s size alone.  _That's... not what I was trying to do._

The White Lion's controls move on her own as her claws dig into the ship, biting into the ship’s head where the base of the ion cannon was with violent twists in her head like a ferocious beast ripping at the innards of their prey before flying off to the next cruiser as the other cruisers turn, slowly but surely, to fire us.

_Why isn't she listening to me anymore? What's happening?_

With a sudden, loud whine, the purple field around the sector pulses, giving way entirely with a flash of bright mauve as the White Lion's claws rip through the command bridge of the second cruiser.

Pidge cries out in confusion, "Um, what just happened?"

"Who cares?!  **_WORMHOLE!_ **" Hunk shouts out so loudly it pierces my ears. I dodge an oncoming blast from a nearby vessel as I turn the White Lion back around just in time to see the blue wormhole appearing before the Castle. 

 _Fuck, we might be too far away to make it. Fuck, this was fucking stupid, fuck,_ **_FUCK._ **

"Will, get over here, _now!_ " Shiro snaps over the com in an angry yell in a voice only a terrified parent would use, and luckily the White Lion relinquishes her controls back to me as I press her thrusters with everything we got back to the Castle, hauling as much ass as possible.

_Come on, come on, we can make it, come on…!_

I pull up to the Castle just as it enters the wormhole, trailing just behind, but before I sigh in relief my throat constricts with another massive wave of that feeling of wrongness just like before, but not from within me like last time when Zarkon spoke. It was more like when the figure back at the Galactic Hub began to cast its lightning, it envelopes my person and makes the wounds in my back stab anew. _What the fuck is it_ **_now_ ** _?_

As I enter the wormhole alongside the Castle, I watch as a black light -  _is that even possible_ \- engulf the portal. The swirling blues transform into angry hues of ruby and amethyst, sparking like angry bees being disturbed when a bear prods the hive.

We're sucked in.

I cling to dear life as the tunnel rattles me within the cabin, and I hear everyone crying in confusion and anxiety as the wormhole flickers around us uncertainly. _I can barely keep her straight, nevertheless get her back into her hanger, I don’t remember the wormholes being this violent!_

"Coran, what's happening?!" Shiro demands.

Coran immediately shrieks, "The integrity of the wormhole has been compromised! It's breaking down!"

"What does that mean?" Lance exclaims in terror.

Coran replies anxiously, "It means we have no control over where we're headed!"

Suddenly, as if being pulled from all different directions, my lion's thrusters flicker and die out. I blink and let out a cry as I lash forward and attempt to latch onto the Castle, but the White Lion and I are yanked away, vanishing into the tunnel's wall.

The com cuts out from the cries of my friends and I'm met with dead silence, save for my own rapid breathing as we hurdle backwards, twisting head over tail so fast I can barely stay in my seat, nevertheless see where we’re going.

I grip my controls and plant my feet firmly on the floor, and when I can finally accomodate for the spinning I gaze out of my Lion's eyes, I'm no longer in the wormhole tunnel. I feel my lion moving, fast, but before me is all darkness, the spinning is wild and out of control I feel like I’m about to throw up. Wait, no… That's a mountain. It's completely black, kind of soft in appearance like snow, except it's black. Black snow?  _Wait shit I'm going really fast, fuck, pull up, pull uP-_  

I pull up the controls a second too late. The White Lion and I to crash into the ground and skid with the sound of horrid, groaning metal. I pitch forward in my seat, nearly flying over my controls as I grip the holographic panel to not go sailing through my lion's eyes, until finally the White Lion grinds to a halt, facefirst in the earth.

My head hurts like  _hell,_ I'm feeling a little light headed and sick from all the spinning and movement, and now a sharp stinging feeling cuts along my back as a fresh, sick trickle of wet warmth down my back. _Re-opened the wound again, Yikes, I'm little light headed. Luckily, I’m jacked up on adrenaline, I just gotta get back to the Castle quick before I bleed out._

_Which may be soon, considering how much I wanna throw up right now._

After a moment to recover my breath, I touch the outside of my helmet and engage the com, "Is everyone okay?"

Silence.

"Hello, can anyone hear me? Is everyone okay?" I shout into the com, but not even static meets me. It's just dead silence. I feel panic rising in my throat as I frantically tap my lion's holographic screen with shaking hands, but as soon as I touch it the lights die out, like I hit the power button. I blink, letting out a terrified groan as I smack the holographic panel rather hard, "Come on, Silver, get up, I gotta see where everyone is!"

The White Lion doesn't answer, and I feel deep within my chest her breathless exhale as she dives into a deep, recovering slumber to heal from her wounds.

I let out a steady breath.  _Now isn't the time to get frustrated. We've been through a lot._ I pat her controls gently, leaning against the holographic panel as I'm hit with a wave of nausea, "It's okay, I understand, we've been through a bit. Take a rest." I choke back the sickness, shivering as I'm hit with wave after wave of stinging, fiery pain along my back and side, it feels like I’m getting repeatedly stung all along the wound lines with little hot pokers.  _Fuck, this is bad._

I peer out the eyes of the White Lion once the wave of nausea passes, and take deep breaths as I yank off my helmet, dropping it to the floor carelessly as I take shaky breath. Before me looks like ash falling from a golden sky. It's quite beautiful, actually. I see the black, crackling outlines of what look like trees, and when I look off to my left I see what looks like… a volcano. Yeah, that’s a volcano, there’s red burning light coming from within, occasional sputters of magma exploding into the air. Luckily we’re far away enough that I’m not afraid of getting hit by it.  _Well, that's pretty cool... Where am I?_  I frown and move to touch my suit's computer on my wrist to try and find out some info, anything, but the movement immediately sends sharp, agonizing shocks from my back all the way to my fingers like I painfully hit a ligament against a wooden surface. I gasp for breath as fiery hot jolts like lightning spark up and all I can do for a second is just try and  _breathe._ And, frankly, even that’s growing more and more difficult.

I look down to gather myself. My vision’s swimming a little, but I can clearly see bloody hands printed on the sides of my helmet. From when I took it off.  _Oh no._

My breath hitches as I slide my gaze down, and I see blood has soaked into the sides of my suit, it’s smeared along the white metal of my armor along my arm-guards and my chest-plate at the sides, I can’t even imagine what my back looks like.  _Fuck, that's kind of a lot._   _I have to do something about this._

My gaze flickers around the room, but as I turn my head my vision swims, and for a moment black spots dance in front of my eyes as another wave of nausea hits me. I close my eyes, biting my lip hard to attempt to ground myself and _not throw up_ .  _No, not now, you have to power through._

I take several deep breaths, and when I open my eyes once my sight seems to have returned to normal.

_Okay._

_This is the worst case scenario. I... I think I got separated from the rest of the group somehow, and stranded on some planet, no idea where I am, or where they are, or if they can find me, and I can't try to locate them until Silver comes back online. I'm injured, bad… but I think I have some supplies in the White Lion's belly, in the cargo bay… but I don't know if I can stand without throwing up or passing out._

**_Fuck._ **

_Wait a minute, I have the White Lion’s stone. It can heal me!_ I jolt with enthusiasm and sit up a little bit, slowly moving a hand down to tug on the stone from beneath my breastplate. I expected it to be glowing, like it was when the bomb went off in the Castle, but it’s completely normal. In fact, the stone feels kind of cold, actually, like it was dunked in a river. _Is it not working? Why isn’t it working?!_

I lock eyes on a container nearby and I briefly remember seeing what looked like a first aid kit in there, maybe, it looked like something important.  _Something to block the pain if nothing else, and bandages maybe? I have to check, I have to staunch the bleeding. If nothing else I’ll rip my suit up into makeshift ones._ I briefly glance back at my stone, normal and certainly not glowing. _Why isn’t my stone healing me?_

I plant my feet, ready to stand, but as I strain upwards I immediately get this feeling like the skin on my back is getting ripped off as I pull away, like a wax strip all the way up my spine. I hiss with a whimper and stop, sliding back to where I was. I reach back and feel along my back to see what the problem is with the tips of my fingers.

The dried blood that soaked into my shirt, my suit, from my wounds… I think it's crusted and is fixed into my seat.  _Gross. And fucking bad. If I try to get up, I'll probably rip off all the clotting and start bleeding, again. I've already lost a lot of blood to the point that I'm getting sick, I can't lose any more if I can help it._

I frown as I look over at the container on the other side of the chamber by the entrance.  _But... I need supplies in order to staunch the bleeding anyway. I'm just delaying the inevitable_.

I take several deep breaths, shaking badly as I psych myself up. _If you can take two hits from Zarkon’s stupid crazy sword, then you can do this. You can do this. One… Two… Three._ I rip myself away from the seat with all my strength.

Agony.

I let out a pained cry as fresh blood gushes from whatever wounds are in my back, and immediately I grow weak at the knees. They hurt as they hit the floor, but compared to the raw agony in my back it’s nothing, just a thud. I glance back at my seat, it’s completely red in blood, not even a trace of white, it’s like I’m in the Red Lion’s cabin instead of my own. It swirls a little bit, the interior of my cabin looking like a candy cane as I grow light headed, and I feel my eyelashes flutter. More black spots.  _Wow, I could use a nap._

My head begins to spin, and I find myself suddenly staring at the ceiling of the White Lion's cockpit. I fight to roll over, to blink, to breathe, but everything hurts, I can't move… _I don't want to move._

I find my eyes closing, my last conscious thought echoing in my mind.  _The White Lion’s stone isn’t working anymore. I'm lost in space, and I have no idea if anyone will be able to find me. I was so scared about that but... I don't know. It doesn't seem that scary anymore._

 _I just hope the others are okay._  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---
> 
> FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT 
> 
> This is also technically the end of Season 1, bc I practically skipped episodes 1-3 of the second season by knocking Will the fuck out for most of it. Without the cryo-pods, he'd probably be hella concussed from the amount of times I've knocked him out. Luckily, cryo-pods. 
> 
> Also I'm... so fucking sorry this chapter is so fucking long bc I just can't not shove as much angst as physically possible into this motherfucker. 
> 
> Anyway, yeah, this happened, again sorry not sorry for anything, this is 1990834902834% self indulgent, and I couldn't give less of a fuck. Fight me in a Denny's parking lot.  
> \---


	17. Fear of Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What can be done when helplessness seizes the heart and clouds the mind?  
> \---  
> ** WARNING: bloodY at the beginning. NSFW and Angst at the end (perfectly balanced, as all things should be)  
> Also, I have 2 art pieces for this chapter, find it here: https://thewhitepaladin.tumblr.com/ --- both tagged #chapter 17

_ “There’s the White Lion!” Allura cries as the Castle emerges from the wormhole into a golden sky, red streaks falling like raindrops made of flame. Keith enters the room in that moment, after setting up Shiro in a cryo-pod. The relief slowly melts into his bones as everything seems to be coming together, Shiro’s alright, Will’s alright. He can begin to atone now. He’s been beating himself up for the past day, standing at Shiro’s side with worry as the wound that witch gave him got worse, he thinks she somehow infected it but now that he’s in a pod he’ll be okay now. And now they’ve found Will, everything’s okay now. Why did that stupid idiot insist on following him places when he knew he’d get hurt? If he doesn’t know it now, Keith thinks, then he’s far stupider than I thought.  _

_ Lance takes a step forward as he stares out of the glass at the White Lion below, half buried in the raining ash of this fire-crisped planet. Suddenly he’s assailed with a horrible feeling, worming deep within his chest and encompassing his lungs like nothing he’s ever felt, this feeling like something bad’s going to happen, a deep setting stone that grows heavier and heavier in his heart until it physically hurts.  _

_ “Something’s wrong.” Lance’s voice is small, a hand over his chest as the feeling persists, he can’t pull his gaze away from the White Lion sprawled form below like roadkill on the side of the road.  _

_ Allura raises an eyebrow at Lance’s back where he stands, but from the look on his face she can clearly see that he isn’t joking, there’s no humor or lilt in his expression like it usually does when he’s speaking. In fact, his face is surprisingly open, his eyes are wide and his brow is upturned as he stares out the front shield. Something may actually be wrong. Worried, Allura touches her hand to her right crystal communicator, twisting her wrist to extend the communicator’s sound into the speakers within the Castle, “Will, this is Allura, do you copy?” _

_ Allura’s voice reverberates in the Castle while the gathered Paladins stare ahead, but nothing answers. All is disturbingly silent. Allura frowns as she begins to think of why this could be the case; could Will have simply taken his helmet off? Could he have left his lion? She can’t imagine any situation where he would do either of those things… unless he had to.  _

_ “... Oh no.” Lance swears under his breath, the stone in his chest leaping into his throat with the lack of response. He staggers backwards and twists towards the door, grabbing onto Hunk’s arm where he stands just behind him as he speaks in a burning rapid-fire manner, “Hunk, help me grab his lion, help him into his hanger.” Hunk’s seen him like this when they would practice in the simulators and things were going wrong, back when he cared about doing well for that first month before he stopped. _

_ “Will, this is Allura, do you copy?” Allura’s voice projects louder in the room. Hunk stares with wide eyes as Lance’s frantic expression, and wordlessly they break for their individual elevators to take them down to their hangers. _

_ “Why isn’t he answering?” Pidge’s voice is high with worry, her hazel eyes glued to the glass looking for any sign of movement from the White Lion, but it’s completely still. Its eyes aren’t even glowing, they’re inactive, she’s seen the same in her own Lion when she sleeps. Lance is right, she thinks, something is definitely wrong. But what could be amiss? What possibly could’ve happened to Will from within the protection of the White Lion? _

_ “Let’s go see for ourselves.” Keith states in a brisk tone, snapping his gaze to Allura and Pidge with a thumb jutted towards the elevator to the White Lion’s hanger, “Come on.” Together they enter Will’s elevator and take it down in tense silence. The longer they stand idle, the more anxiety begins to crowd into Keith’s throat; typical, as soon as he relaxes, thinking that everything’s alright, things go south and it turns out that nothing’s alright. But why Will? Why did things have to go wrong with Will, that selfless idiot who refuses to get off of Keith’s back out of stubborn protectiveness. It’s a feeling Keith understands and knows well, it’s how he was able to borrow the Black Lion to save Shiro, but he doesn’t need it for himself. He doesn’t deserve it.  _

_ Lance and Hunk gingerly lift the White Lion from the fallen ash ground of the burning planet with strained gentleness that their lions struggle with. Much to Hunk’s despair, the lion doesn’t stir despite the jostle; it simply lies limp, like holding up a wet rag. Is it possible for a lion to get knocked out, he thinks to himself, ‘cause that’s kind of what it looks like. Coran opens the White Lion’s hanger door remotely as Lance and Hunk guide their lions towards it, and with an awkward back and forth motion they manage to toss the White Lion within like how one throws a friend into a pool. As soon as the Lion enters the room at a careless, hurling pace, the hanger doors snap shut.  _

_ The worry in Lance’s throat only climbs as the ticks roll by, and he has no idea why. There’s no reason for him to be as anxious as he is, but he isn’t gonna question it until he meets Will’s hazel-gold gaze and hear him say “Dude, quit worrying, I’m fine.” He’s got to be alright, Lance still has to call him a bunch of names for talking shit before they saved Allura! _

_ When the elevator doors open, the trio freeze as the White Lion’s metal scratches the floor, screeching to a halt just a distance away from them. It lies on its stomach with its paws outstretched, completely limp in this uncomfortable position like it’s boneless and languid. Its eyes are blank and lackluster, off and mute.  _

_ Something dark and terrified grabs Keith by the spine as he breaks at a run towards the White Lion’s closed jaws, slowing down only to slip between her clenched canines. As he turns towards the doorway that leads into the pilot’s chamber, it doesn’t open like it usually does, like when he approaches Red. It stays closed, even as he bangs his fists against the door. Anxiety and fear crowd into his throat; he hates this helplessness, he shouldn’t have to feel it again, it should’ve died when he saw Shiro again, but the universe seems to adore ripping things away from him. Keith bites down on the helpless fear with bared teeth and morphs it into familiar anger as he shouts, “Will!” He pounds his closed fists on the door until the sides of his hands are numb,  _ **_“Will!”_ **

_ “Why isn’t the door opening?” Pidge gasps as she comes to a halt beside Keith, her breath is shortening in growing fear, Oh God, Lance was right, something is so so wrong. What could’ve happened? Is he not inside? Did he leave his lion? Where would he have gone, the environment of the planet is completely inhospitable, there was nothing he could be doing outside that’s remotely beneficial, but then if he’s inside why isn’t he answering? Did someone get in? Is it possible for someone to infiltrate a lion? _

_ Allura strides beside Keith, resting her hand on the door with a quiet calm like a sprinkle of rain that quenches a bonfire. Keith pulls away when he sees her, watching her with a curious, confused gaze. What’s that supposed to accomplish? He thinks to himself before he mentally shakes his head. Not gonna question it. Allura seems to know the lions more than the rest of us.  _

_ Allura closes her eyes and spreads her gentle, slender fingers across the surface, extending her essence to the White Lion. It’s easy, her natural quintessence is more malleable than typical, it’s what grants her the power to move it without assistance… It’s why the creatures Zarkon called his druids wasted little time in trying to extract it from her. She focuses her attention on the White Lion, closing her eyes as she asks: why won’t you open up to us? _

_ Immediately Allura’s overwhelmed with slowly dwindling rage, deep rooted regret, and fear, such a strong roll of emotions that Allura physically gasps. Never before has she felt a Lion’s emotion so… tangibly before, but as the White Lion senses Allura’s quintessence these emotions immediately recede like a pulled rope. The door opens beneath her fingertips as the White Lion shows her a single image: the White Lion’s empty pilot’s seat, but it isn’t white like the walls around it; it’s scarlet.  _

_ As soon as the doors part Keith races through at a dead sprint, taking the stairs two at a time until he breaks into the pilots chamber.  _

_ Red. Splatters and droplets of red, on the floor, on the holographic panel in front of the seat, the right, standing out like roses in snow. Keith stops breathing when he sees the white helmet resting on its side off to the left, a smeared, bloody handprint across its face like war paint. The extended, limp, gloved hand with white armor smeared in blood along its wrists that lies still, hidden behind the pilot’s seat.  _

_ Keith rounds the chair and immediately drops to his knees, crouching over Will’s form and then pulling him from the tight space in front of his seat and between his panel. His eyes are blissfully closed, like he’s deeply asleep, which Keith would believe if there wasn’t so much fucking  _ **_blood_ ** _ all over his armor, all over the seat. As Keith shifts he sees his own hand sticking to the drying blood but it’s nothing but an ooze now. The armor on his back doesn’t even look white anymore, not a single trace of pearl, just blood. Keith’s never seen so much blood, save for the last time he was pulling Will up like this. Again. Why is he always fucking bleeding- _

_ "Will! Will, wake up!" Keith roughly shakes Will’s shoulders, holding him upright in his arms as Pidge and Allura burst into the room. Allura stares at the red, the multitude of red, and immediately her memory flickers to the bridge, back to when she and Keith broke into the room to stop Sendak. This same red stained the floors, stained Will and stained her own armor when she helped him to the pod. She didn’t realize it at the time until Keith explained to her it’s blood; it’s the life that circulates oxygen into their muscles, and it’s this same scarlet color she sees now. For Alteans it’s a soft pink, the pink she bears on her armor everyday as a reminder of the lives lost, but for humans its this red. And there’s copious amounts of it. That cannot be healthy, and based on Keith’s expression, it cannot be good. _

_ “That’s a lot of blood.” Pidge whispers in shock where she stands beside Allura, her arms hanging uselessly at her sides. She doesn’t know what to do in this situation, there’s blood on the seat, the floor, on the helmet, it’s got to be- this can’t be- oh God, no, not again, don’t tell me he’s- _

_ Keith touches his fingertips to Will’s pulse just above his suit, and immediately Keith lets out a breath of relief; the pulse is there, it’s weak, but it’s there. Almost as if on queue Will’s eyes flutter, a pained groan coming from deep in his chest before he falls quiet again, his head leaning against Keith’s chest. Despite everything, Keith’s filled with instant relief. “He’s alive.” He can fix it yet. _

_ “What? He’s responsive?” Pidge collects herself, her eyes that have flown wide and her hands that shake, immediately taking in the per square inch of the seat, the blood on the back of Will’s suit, oh my God that’s a lot, “He must’ve been bleeding out here for… for hours. I can’t believe he’s alive, nevertheless moving.” He should be dead. I’m so fucking glad he isn’t, but with this amount of blood, statistically speaking…  _

_ Lance and Hunk see the open doorway in the White Lion’s jaws and immediately race up as fast as they’re able, nearly bowling Allura over where she stands in the entryway to the pilot’s chamber. Hunk hangs back, wondering what has Allura standing stock still like this, but as soon as Lance bursts in, his eyes settle on Will, held upright in Keith’s arms. His stomach clenches with mixed emotions he can’t explain. He’s never seen emotion written on Keith’s face save when Lance tries to get a rise out of him, it’s why he does what he does, but now he sees it clear as day; fear. He doesn’t like to see this light in Keith’s eyes. _

_ Keith whirls towards the door when he hears footsteps. No sooner does his shadowed gaze connect to Hunk’s does he bark, “Help me get him to a cryo-pod, now!”  _

_ Hunk moves without question, stepping forward and shifting to the other side of Keith. He loops an arm beneath Will’s knees and his other arm on his back, and that’s when he feels the stickiness, even through his suit, like spilled jam left to dry. Hunk never liked blood, it makes him squeamish and nauseous. But right now, for once, it doesn’t bother him at all. All he sees is Will’s closed eyes and wild hair askew like a bonfire, and his chest shudders when he hears Will’s voice, just a bare groan at the shift and movement. This he can stomach, only because Will needs him. _

_ Hunk lifts Will up without a problem, cradling him against his chest like a small child, just like Hunk used to do with his younger brother when he fell asleep in the car and would refuse to get up to go to bed after a long drive. Keith, much to Hunk’s surprise, lets him, instead letting his arms fall to allow Hunk to take Will’s full weight. Quickly Hunk murmurs gently to Will as he pulls him close, “It’s okay, buddy, we’ll get you out of here. Just hang in there.” _

_ Moving together the team steps with all due haste out of the jaws of the White Lion and towards the door into the hanger proper, headed for the infirmary as fast as Hunk can stride with Will in his arms.  _

_ “How did this happen?” Lance’s voice is small, scared and small just as he feels, a cage made of ice encasing his heart that flutters like a rambunctious bird.  _

_ “It’s his connection to his lion.” Keith’s throat seizes in guilt, his teeth gritting as he follows just beside Hunk like a shadow, “It transfers damage to him.” He wants to leave it at that, but instead his fists clench at his sides as helpless fury overcomes him and Keith hisses through grit teeth, “He took those hits for me, knowing that this is what it would do to him.” _

_ “For you?” Immediately the ice in Lance’s chest burns away, a furious blaze consuming his stomach as he finds his ocean blue eyes focusing in on Keith’s face; always broodily looking off to the side with a disinterested gaze. How can he look like so disinterested all the time? But when this when is… this- “Don’t you mean  _ **_because_ ** _ of you?” Lance’s words are biting, but he doesn’t care. He’s scared, he’s pissed, he needs something to direct it towards, and old habits die hard. “You know, after you  _ **_left_ ** _ us? How many times did Coran tell you to get out of there? And  _ **_now_ ** _ look-”  _

_ “Will wouldn’t want you to bicker, now!” Allura interrupts Lance with a harsh tone, a tone so harsh that Allura doesn’t remember the last time she used it as Lance immediately snaps his jaw closed, “Remember who the real enemy is.” She knows loss unlike anything the Paladins will ever experience, she knows what to do. She can ease them through this, she has to. Voltron can’t fall apart now. _

_ Pidge curls her nose and rage trembles down her small frame, the same helpless fury when she was thrown out of the Garrison office, Iverson shouting, ‘She’s never allowed on Garrison property ever again!’ She grits her teeth but she can’t help it, ‘Will wouldn’t want-’  _ **_bullshit_ ** _.  _

_ “Don’t talk about Will like he’s already dead!” Pidge shouts, and as soon as the words leave her mouth she feels horrible sorrow, a sorrow she’s so accommodated with yet hates all the same, creeping back into its place in the base of her ribcage. The universe is ruthless and cold, but it can’t be so cold as to take Will away too, the first person who Pidge has met that’s just like her, who’s been where she’s been, who puts everyone above himself and actually wants to help Pidge understand instead of trying to direct her attention away from who she thinks she is- _

_ As passions, fury, and fear rise, a small voice brings it all to a grinding halt, a soft hum followed by a cracking croak, “I-... I-I’m sorry.” _

_ Keith’s step lengthens, walking in stride with Hunk as Will’s head moves slightly to the side. He watches and watches but his eyes don’t open, his eyelashes flutter but his hazel gaze remains hidden, those eyes flecked with green and gold and earth that Keith might-... No, he will see them again. Will’s gonna be alright. “Shut up, Will.” Keith’s words are sharp but his voice is softened, rough on the edges worn down like sandpaper that only comes when Keith’s wall begins to crack, “You’re gonna be alright. Just hang in there.” Hastily, he slams against it to keep it upright. Don’t let the team know, no one can know how upset he is, because that’s what it is; he’s soaking in fury, confused as to why Will’s so fucking stupid that he followed him even knowing that this would happen,  frustrated that he couldn’t stop him, worried that this mistake will be his last- _

_ Will’s breath rasps loudly as Hunk shifts his arms beneath him to rest more upright, gritting his teeth as he finally whispers, “I tried.” Will’s head lolls to the side like he grew tired of holding it up himself, instead resting it against Hunk’s chest. Hunk cradles his head close as something fiery and warm, protectiveness, sparks in his heart. Hunk keeps himself at a distance from everyone, not that he’s cold and aloof like Keith, but it’s just better that way, he can be a better listener, a better friend when he isn’t distracting people with his own stuff. He’d open up if people asked, but no one really asks, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but now, with Will… Hunk almost wishes he’d known more. He’d seen himself in Will, he’s closed himself away to listen to the others and help the others, and given time Hunk felt Will would do the same to him. Hunk whispers to Will quietly, as if speaking to a baby, “Shh, I got you, buddy.” _

_ The band enters the infirmary in record time. Shiro’s upright in his own pod, his slanted eyes closed as he takes deep breaths, the ragged rip in the side of his hip is already clouded entirely with the smoky gray fog of the healing agents within the cryo-pods. It takes Keith and Hunk combined to maneuver Will’s limp form into a fresh pod as Pidge taps in the commands at the central console, Allura lingers in the doorway. She can’t help staring at the black and white armor within the pods, the center of Voltron. She knows they’ll be okay, she sensed their strength as soon as she opened her eyes and her quintessence was reawakened, but the worry persists. They’re her charges, she cannot let them fall, she cannot let them fail. The glass door slides shut as Will’s head leans back, and the pod engages with a soft click.  _

_ Only then, do they breathe again.  _

_ \--- _

_ Shiro gasps awake as his pod bursts open, but the remnants of his dream are already slipping away. Pain, the usual pain, bound wrists, a clawed hand on his prosthetic wrist, a deep ache in his shoulder, looking up into a pair of serpentine pupils in a sea of gold. He told him to run, to get out of there and warn Earth, that he would cover his escape. The bindings are gone. He asked the Galra, why, why me, why now, all he said was to come find him later, that his location will be in his arm. His name is Ulaz.  _

_ “Take it easy.”  _

_ Shiro looks up into Keith’s gentle violet gaze, his hands braced on Shiro’s shoulders to keep him upright. Immediately Shiro’s filled with relief, taking a breath as he rests his hand on Keith’s shoulder and collects himself. Keith’s alright.  _

_ He saved his life. He took control of the Black Lion, just like Shiro always knew he could, but Shiro’s unsure if he’ll ever be able to repay the amount of kindnesses Keith’s shown to him, since he’s earned his trust no one has been as fiercely protective of Shiro. He knows why, but every day Shiro wonders at what good karma allowed him to earn this level of Keith’s trust.  _

_ As Shiro straightens he looks up and immediately his gaze falls to the occupied pod off to the side. A heavy stone falls in his chest. He’s waking up in the infirmary before him again.  _

_ “What happened?” Shiro asks with wide eyes as he stares at Will’s form standing upright within the pod. His eyes are closed, peaceful, yet based on the angry red Altean symbols on the surface of the glass and the gray fog that’s fully encompassing him, something tells Shiro this isn’t like before, the last time they were here. He knows without knowing exactly what must’ve happened, remembering Keith telling him about the fight with Zarkon as they waited for rescue. Why does he insist on throwing himself in front of everything like he’s a human shield, like he isn’t mortal just like the rest of us. He’s more than ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for nothing- _

_ “It’s his connection to his lion.” Keith’s voice is completely level and monotonous. Shiro immediately snaps his gaze back to him.  _

_ Keith’s a brick wall when he wants to be, it’s his greatest skill, but when Shiro brought him in when he was a kid at 13 he’s seen why. Shiro’s never seen him vulnerable with anyone other than he and Adam, and that took  _ **_years_ ** _ to establish a level of trust for Keith to allow Shiro in, but even now, sometimes he doesn’t. But Shiro knows, he’s learned; the harder Keith forces that barrier the more Shiro knows that something’s wrong, and now as he investigates Keith’s perfectly stony expression he realizes that this is the case. He wants to ask why, he’s learned to pull the strings at just the right places to show Keith it’s okay, you can let go, but it’s halted as it all comes back to him, the shadow, the yellow eyes, ‘the answer lies in your arm’  _

_ His name is Ulaz.  _

_ We’ll have to discuss this later, Shiro thinks to himself as he files his worry for Keith away neatly in his thoughts. _

_ “Where are the others?” Shiro’s voice is rough, his gray gaze settling on Keith. Only then do Keith’s arms fall.  _

_ “On the bridge. But Shiro, you need to rest-”  _

_ “I’ve rested enough.” Shiro assures in a gentle manner, squeezing Keith’s shoulder as he turns towards the exit. Keith falls in step after him with a frustrated noise under his breath but he, fortunately for Shiro, doesn’t argue.  _

_ The pair enter the bridge at a brisk march. Allura and Coran stand at the front brow of the ship, running diagnostics and restorative measures. Pidge, Lance, and Hunk sit in their respective seats, tapping in commands at their behest to best assist the process. When the door opens all eyes turn, and they rise from their seats with immediate, relieved smiles as they rush towards them. _

_ “You’re awake!” Allura proclaims with a bright smile, coming up the stairs to greet Shiro as the party clusters around him with sudden, uplifted spirits.  _

_ “We were worried about you, man! I’m glad you’re alright.” Hunk offers earnestly, a bright smile etched across his face that Shiro’s delighted to see, even as the dream weighs on his shoulders like a heavy jacket that’s too large for him.  _

_ “Indeed!” Coran adds with a twist of his mustache, an arm behind is back in a familiar, soldierly manner, “I was beginning to worry! One cannot stay in the pod for too long without a rotation, it’s got about a 30 varga limit, otherwise…” Coran awkwardly cuts himself and immediately clears his throat to state, “Well, we’re just glad you’re alright.” Shiro can spot a sheepish frown beneath the garrish mustache, Coran’s silvery gaze sliding away to the right. It sends a worried pang into Shiro’s chest that he isn’t sure what to do with. _

_ “I’m glad to be back.” Shiro warmly regards the team with a gray-eyed gaze that lightens the room’s atmosphere like the flip of a switch. Slowly, however, it fades as Shiro’s expression focuses, “I think I have a lead on where to head next.”  _

_ “What is it?” Allura rests her hands at her sides, raising an eyebrow at Shiro.  _

_ “I…” Shiro frowns, his gaze flickering down to his prosthetic arm.  _

_ He hates looking at it. The black and violet twist together like a grotesque monster on its own, growing out of him like an eldritch beast; it isn’t natural. But… apparently it holds the key. The key to his past, the key to the missing memories he still harbors like baskets of void, and even more than that, the key to finding allies in this war.  _

_ His prosthetic fist clenches as he meets the team’s collective gaze, “I know this may sound crazy, but I have reason to believe that there are coordinates here to a potential ally.”  _

_ “In your arm?” Pidge steps forward as she straightens her glasses, grabbing Shiro’s wrist and closely inspecting its surface.  _

_ Shiro, expecting this, let his arm go lax as Allura fixes him with a raised eyebrow, “A potential ally?” _

_ “The person who freed me.”  _

_ The bridge grows silent as the team regard one another with mixed expressions of worry, hope, and thought.  _

_ “Not to put a damper on things,” Lance suddenly pipes up, turning the group’s gaze to him as he pensively bites his lip, “But do you really think we should start moving ahead with stuff while Will’s still in the pod? Shouldn’t we, you know… wait? Get him caught up, talk it out, and then go?” _

_ Shiro flickers his gray gaze to the team, watching the apprehensive expressions and worried eyes staring at the floor and their hands. As much as he’s aching to go now, as soon as possible, Shiro knows that morale is as important, if not more important, than rushing to progress on the mission.  _

_ “I agree.” Allura nods, crossing her arms over his chest, but despite the height of her lifted chin Shiro can see a hidden fear disguised in the sapphire light in her gaze. _

_ “Alright,” Shiro says with a nod, looking to the other members of the team, “We’ll wait on making a new plan until Will wakes up.”  _

_ The silence is quelled even as the anxious energy crawls just beneath Shiro’s skin. He can ignore it for now. What’s a day, after all.  _

_ “... If he wakes up.”  _

_ All eyes snap to Hunk, who stands staring off to the side with his hands twisting in his lap. He looks up and flickers his gaze between each of his team members and lets out a soft breath, “Look, I know, I really didn’t want to think about it either, but you guys did just hear Coran,” He gestures to him, where he stands looking aghast, “It’s got a thirty hour limit. If he isn’t awake and out of there before, he might…” Hunk’s voice hitches, but he presses on with his eyes on his roughed hands, “He might never wake up.” _

_ Shiro blinks as a cold fist clenches over his heart. The red angry symbols. There’s no way it could’ve been that bad, but his connection to the White Lion… Seeing the Red Lion’s condition in the aftermath, even in pain Shiro could see the tears, the scarred rips along the thick armor…  _

_ Shiro fixes Coran with a firm gaze, “How long has he been in the pod?”  _

_ Coran takes a long time to answer, a terrifyingly long time before his shoulders hang, his silver-blue eyes flickering to the ground, “... I didn’t want to say anything-” _

_ “28.” Pidge replies in a soft voice, her eyes have fallen to the side, “You were inside just as long, if not longer. That’s… that’s why we’re so glad you’re as alright as you are.”  _

_ Shiro hears Keith’s breath hitching beside him, but when he glances over to check in with him Keith’s expression is as hard, if not more stony, than in the infirmary. Oh.   _

_ Deafening silence rings in the room. Shiro hasn’t the faintest clue what to say. Even when he trained at the Garrison, where he was trained what to do, what to say if something were to happen to one of his shipmates, but he has always been grateful that he never had to use it. A deep setting chill settles in Shiro’s bones as he realizes the situation they’re in.  _

_ “We are unable to place the two of you on a rotation between pods because of the critical condition of your wounds; any time without the healing agents left a high probability of…” Coran cuts himself off, frowning deeply before he lets out a sigh, “I haven’t the faintest idea what kind of situation Will must’ve faced to have been placed in this position.” Coran’s voice is small, worried, and his eyebrows furrow as he meets Shiro’s inquisitive gaze, “He was within his lion the entire time, was he not?”  _

_ Like a match getting lit by a spark, Lance bristles like an attack dog, immediately snapping with a biting fury Shiro’s never seen, “I’ll tell you  _ **_exactly_ ** _ what happened!” He points at Keith where he stands beside Shiro with a stone faced expression and crossed arms, his voice cutting through the air like a razor that progressively loses its edge with every word as he stammers “He was trying to protect  _ **_you_ ** _ , save  _ **_you_ ** _. And now, he could freaking  _ **_die_ ** _ because of y-you and your stupid, impulsive-!” _

_ “You think that I don’t know that?!” Shiro turns in shock to Keith as he takes a step towards Lance, his fists clenched and absolute rage permeating in the air around Keith as his voice rips through Lance’s, “You think that I don’t regret not telling him to get out of there? You think that I don’t wish that I’d-”  _

_ “Enough!” Shiro grabs Keith’s shoulder and holds him in place, the bridge echoing his voice before falling to the same, deafening silence as before.  _

_ “We don’t know what’s going to happen.” Shiro states firmly, his stormy eyes piercing into each and everyone’s gaze he locks onto, “But we’ve got to stay strong, stay together.” He turns his gaze to Coran briefly before he states with a tone of finality, “We’ll wait. Will can pull through this, we’ve just got to have faith.”  _

_ And so, they wait.  _

\--- 

"I think he's coming to!"

"He better be! He has to answer for all the nastiness he left, his armor was  _ disgusting _ to clean, did I tell you that?"

"Yeah, you never shut up about how you got stuck doing it, but I don't think Will would appreciate having to clean up his own dried blood himself."

"Yeah, well, it's his bodily fluids, he should clean up after himself!"

"Oh shut up, at least you didn't have to clean up his cabin. That was nasty, dried blood is impossible to get off. Why does all of his stuff have to be white, that's like, the one color that is just impossible to keep clean."

I open my eyes with a soft gasp, the minty taste of the healing pod on my tongue as the doors slide open. I blink, the lights of the room are so bright for a moment and I can't really see, blinded.

I blink a few more times, rubbing my eyes and as they adjust they meet the gaze of the others. They’re gathered around my pod, with anxious looks on their faces, Hunk, Pidge, Lance, Shiro, Allura, Coran, Keith. They’re here.  _ They’re okay. _

"Will! You're okay!" Hunk cries, and as I step out of the pod I'm enveloped on all sides with warmth. I stumble a little but close my eyes, drinking in the comfort from Hunk's hug and resting my head against his shoulder. Hunk abruptly releases me, grasping my shoulders instead with a brilliant smile on his face, so encouraging and gleeful I’m shocked he’s smiling because of  _ me  _ of all people. 

"You had us worried, dude, don't do that again!" Lance states with a fierce and angry expression, waving his finger at me from beside Hunk, "I don't want my last words to you to have been chastising you like my  _ mima _ , that's just lame!" 

The others are giving Lance a dirty look but I can’t find it in me to question why. I manage a chuckle, but despite their obvious relief all I can feel is just really… Tired. But not physically tired, I just took a long ass nap, but I feel just kind of… drained. 

"Love you, too, Lance." My voice is hoarse from lack of use, and I quickly clear my throat as I rub my eyes, flitting around to everyone's faces until my gaze rests on Keith. He appears aloof, unharmed, but present, and as I continue along I find Shiro.  _ Shiro. _  "What happened?" I ask softly, tilting my head to the side as I meet his warm gray gaze, "After the wormhole, I just... crashed into this black planet, and no one answered my calls, and then-"

"Yeah, apparently some weird, magical force from Zarkon's ship corrupted the portal and had us sent all across the galaxy." Hunk interrupts me instead with a shrug, as if that's no big deal, "I feel kind of bad for you though, that must have sucked to have been stranded alone. Pidge got stranded alone too, but she had all these cool little fuzzy dudes to keep her company, she brought some with her, you should see them, but dude, Lance and I crashed o-"

Lance gasps excitedly,  _ "A planet with mermaids!"  _ He cries gleefully as he jumps up and down at the mere mention, "It was so cool, dude! There was this one-"

Allura, thankfully, cuts him off as she clasps her hands over her chest from where she stands beside Shiro, "Coran and I got caught in an endless time loop! I don't think we would've been able to have escaped had Pidge not been able to send out that signal from the Green Lion." She looks to Pidge with warm eyes, who merely grins brightly back at her with a knowing look.

As much as it gives me joy to see my friends, alive, okay and jovial, their loud, enthusiastic voices are giving me nothing but headaches. I feel parched, exhausted, and all I wanna do is drink the biggest glass of water, take a shower, and collapse someplace soft and warm. 

I touch my temple with a soft smile, rubbing the back of my neck, "Hey, if it's all the same to y’all, I do want to hear more about it but I think I really need a shower. And probably some goo." I feel that my voice is small but I don't feel like I can project like I normally do. I feel… off. Like a piece of my heart was scooped out and then a makeshift patch was placed over the hole it left behind. 

But I don't want the others to see that, not after they have apparently spent so much time worrying about me. I can’t explain it, I think I’m in shock.  _ Yeah, probably in shock. This is the second near death experience in the past twenty four hours. If that’s even how long it’s been, I have no idea how long I was in the pod…  _

Allura's gaze softens as she meets mine, "Of course, you should build up your strength. Spending so much time in a cryo-pod, it'll take you some time to readjust."

“How long was I in there?” I ask idly, furrowing my eyebrows as I cross my arms over my chest. 

“A full day.” Keith’s the one who answers me, and even though I feel him looking at me I find my gaze listlessly staring off to the side. “It’s about mid afternoon-”

"Hey, hey, you heard the man, he needs some goo! I, personally, would love to also get some." Hunk says dreamily in response, his gaze spaced out at the thought of food. Nothing's changed there at least. 

I shake my head with a laugh, "Yeah, I don't wanna just be walking around in my suit anymore. It's kind of gross."

"Yeah, no problem, man. We're glad you're okay." Pidge smiles at me amicably.  _ God, I fucking love you, Pidge.  _ I don't know what makes me think that, but regarding her friendly hazel eyes, dark green and amber in the overhead lighting and her cheeky grin, and her overly large glasses… She's so unique. She's so  _ Pidge.  _

_ Oh man, I must be concussed.  _

I disengage as Hunk mentions something about space goo again, the others clustered in the center of the infirmary and luckily I think my departure goes mostly unnoticed, as their voices don’t falter and they don’t move from the area. I pad quietly back to my room in a bit of a haze.

The silence is comforting, like cotton in my ears as my thoughts reverberate from the events that led to this moment, slow and murky like something rising to the surface of a dark pond.  _ Zarkon. _

I walk into my room, grabbing a fresh set of clothes, that great white sweater that's too short but with the wide neck that's so soft and comforting, comfy pants, those fuzzy socks, I don't care that I wore them yesterday, they're comfy, they're warm, and I need both of those things right now. _  He had a bayard. A black bayard. He broke apart Voltron, and somehow had the Black Lion in some trance to drag it to him on his ship. 'The bayard is the traditional weapon of the Paladins of Voltron.' Shiro's bayard was lost 'with it's paladin'.  _

I freeze at the bathroom door and let out a soft breath when the realization hits me.

_ Zarkon was once the Black Paladin. _

_ He has to have been, otherwise, how could he have done all that? _

I feel like I'm walking through syrup as I advance towards the showers, but as soon as I enter that first room I'm snapped back to the present so hard it's like I got slapped. I hesitate when I see the second door that leads into the actual shower area, and it feels like cold water splashing on my face as my pensive state is shattered by the memory of almost drowning here. 

Well, not here, this is technically a different shower, but it was here all the same. The cold water, sucking into my lungs, burning like hot lava yet chilling my bones like the coldest ice. I'll be damned, if I almost didn't just die a third fucking time, the second time in the last few days.  _ Keith's right, I really need to cut it out with these near death experiences. _

I bite my lip, and tentatively step into the next room after stripping out of my Voltron suit, crusted blood flaking behind me like a trail of rose petals. 

I don't close the door behind me as I tap the hologram and start up the shower. Anxiously I wet my hair, but I can't stop staring at the door, my heart is pounding,  _ don't close. _

_ Don't close. _

_ Don't close. _

_ Don't fucking close. _

I take a deep breath, and I realize I'm shaking.  _ Fuck. I'm too high strung, I need to relax. What can I do to relax. Come on, think, what would Mom do? _

_ She'd… She'd sing.  _

After particularly bad dreams, she used to sing a song to calm me, bring me back to the present, mostly when I was just a little kid, but when they got bad, like sobbing, hyperventilating, unable to breathe bad, she'd sing again, even now that I'm practically grown. For some reason it's the thing that my mind fixates on, grasping onto desperately. Her song gives me some semblance of peace, and I'm desperate, and alone, and feeling like I’m missing something. I want some peace from someplace that’s familiar and right. 

I’ve never sang her song, but I know it like the back of my hand. I could recognize it if I just heard the first note, but it’s her song… but I need it. I need it like I need air, like I need to relax.  _ I need to relax. _

I close my eyes, squeezing them tightly as I dispense some soap and lather the generic, fresh, clean scent into my hair.  _ Don't look at the door. Just... Sing. Sing Mom's song. Don't look at the door. _

_ "Lay down your sweet and weary head, _   
_ Night is falling, you have come to journey's end, _   
_ Sleep now, dream of the ones who came before, _   
_ They are calling, _   
_ From across the distant shore, _   
_ Why do you weep? _   
_ What are these tears upon your face? _   
_ Soon you will see, _   
_ All of your fears will pass away- _   
_ -Safe in my arms. _   
_ You're only sleeping. _

_ What can you see on the horizon? _   
_ Why do the white gulls call? _   
_ Across the sea, a pale moon rises, _   
_ The ships have come to carry you home. _

_ And all will turn to silver glass, _   
_ A light on the water, _   
_ All souls pass. _

_ Hope frays along the realm of night, _   
_ Through shadows falling, _   
_ Out of memory and time. _   
_ Don't say we have come now to the end. _   
_ White shores are calling. _   
_ You and I will meet again. _

_ And you'll be here in my arms, _   
_ Just sleeping. _

_ What can you see on the horizon? _   
_ Why do the white gulls call? _   
_ Across the sea, a pale moon rises, _   
_ The ships have come to carry you home. _

_ And all will turn to silver glass, _   
_ A light on the water, _   
_ Grey ships pass, _   
_ Into the west." _

I let out a soft breath and close my eyes, leaning my forearm against the shower wall and pressing my forehead against it. I feel a little better and more relaxed with my mom's voice floating in and out of my mind, at least I feel more conscious of this moment. I wish I had my guitar, my keyboard. Singing's nice, it's making the music that I enjoy most, but making it with my  _ hands,  _ something to keep my mind busy besides the song in my throat, that's what's most effective.  _ But that’s alright. This is alright. I’m alright.  _

Slowly, I extend a hand and shut off the water, then turn and grab a towel from the third room. I glance at the door into the second room, and even though I feel stupid for doing it I sprint as fast as I can through the second room into the first, immediately letting out a breath of relief when I reach the other side undeterred. The whole  _ the-Castle-trying-to-kill-me  _ thing really is gonna fuck up my hygiene in the future.

I get dressed in the first sectional of the showers and head back to my room in the fresh, comfy clothes, tugging on the sleeves of this stupid, awkwardly cut sweater.  _ Oh Christ, Keith's rubbing off on me. His ugly fucking jacket has given me a penchant for ugly clothes that cut too high on my torso. That bastard. Well, I don’t think I’ve changed too much since I still think Keith’s jacket’s atrocious, so whatever this weird, empty feeling is, it can’t be too worrying. _

When I walk back into my room I immediately toss my ruined suit to the side of the room, rubbing my eyes tiredly as I ruffle my hair one last time with the towel around my shoulders, and as I open my eyes in the dimly lit space I immediately freeze up. 

Keith standing by my bedside, his back is to me. He has a book at hand,  _ Hamlet _ based on the vast amount of note scribbles I made on the sides of all the snide remarks I wanted to make to Mr. Roads but never had the balls to say.  _ Well, speak of the fucking devil.  _

"Uh, hey, can I help you?" I ask with a bit of a guarded tone, watching him cautiously. Keith jolts so hard in surprise that he drops  _ Hamlet _ back onto my bed, immediately rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish look like I just caught him in the middle of a heist, “Oh! Uh, sorry, I wasn't… I was just…”

"Reading Hamlet." I answer with a raised eyebrow, striding inside as the door slides closed behind me, "You can borrow it if you want."

“No, I just… Thanks, but I…” Keith let out a breath in a huff, flustered as he attempts to reorganize his thoughts.

I raise an eyebrow at him, watching his floundering with growing confusion.  _ Why is he here? It's not really like him to… well, seek people out. Seek  _ **_me_ ** _ out, especially after pissing him off not once, but twice. And not to mention the shit I said on the bridge to get everyone to shut up. Maybe he’s come to demand for an apology? I’ll give it, but if he’d just wait a minute I would’ve given him a better, more thought out one… _

I watch Keith carefully as he pulls himself together, and slowly his violet-black gaze rises to meet mine, "I just… I wanted to thank you."

I blink at him incredulously, and suddenly looking at him just grows… too hard. His gaze is intense, searching, and I'm afraid for what so I can’t look at him anymore. My head still hurts, my stomach hurts I’m so hungry, and the last thing I need right now is to have to maintain eye contact with someone.  _ I thought he would hate me… but thank me? What the fuck for? _

"What for? I haven't done anything." I echo my thoughts as my gaze slides to the floor.  _ I need to find something to fiddle with, so it doesn't look like I'm being rude, so it looks like I’m fine.  _ I slide past Keith and pick up  _ Hamlet _ from where he dropped it on my bed, shelving it in a smooth movement on my shelf at the foot of my bed. I'm slightly facing Keith from where he stands next to me, and I feel that his gaze is boring into the side of my face, still fucking  _ searching  _ for something, why is he digging his gaze into me like this? 

_ Fuck, I don't know if I can look at him without having a gay panic attack. I feel vulnerable. I don’t want him to see me while I’m still reeling. But… _ I see him frowning out of the corner of my eye. Against my better judgement, I slowly turn to face him, ignoring how my heart races at how  _ beautiful  _ he is. _  He has no fucking right to look so pretty when he's got that broody expression on his face _ .

_ Ah, I must really be alright since my stupid feelings for Keith haven’t gone anywhere.  _

Luckily, Keith's voice cuts into my thoughts, "You almost… you got hurt. Again. And this time it was because you were trying to protect me." I blink at Keith with a dumbfounded expression as his violet gaze slides to the ground,  _ he never looks away from me when we’re peering at each other like this.  _ His eyes glint in the overhead light, reflecting the depths of space, "I was impulsive, I acted before I could think. But… you were the one who paid the price for it. So I'm… sorry." 

I take a breath to argue but when he sees my expression he shakes his head, looking at me with such intensity that I feel my voice immediately die in my throat, “That happened to you because of what  _ I  _ was doing." He frowns deeply, and I see his hands bunch into fists as he sets his jaw, his breath coming in a hot burst, "That should have been me, not you." The words that Keith is speaking and the tone of which he speaks are two completely different things. His tone is pissed beyond belief, angry and fiery like he’s two seconds away from throwing a punch but his words are just… not that. They sound sweet and selfless. 

“Keith…” I murmur with a frown, looking down at my hands.  _ I won't fumble by looking at his fucking beautiful, selfless face, this is an important moment. I have to choose my words carefully, extremely carefully. _ “I don't care about any of that.” I say, flickering my gaze back up to him to enunciate on my words, “I protected you because I wanted to. It was my choice… I'm just glad I was able to protect you.”

Keith is silent for a moment, staring resolutely at my bed sheets, and I mentally balk.  _ Fuck, that sounded pretty gay. Backtrack, backtrack! _  "You know, er, it's what… any teammate would do. Keep each other safe, right?" His gaze suddenly flickers back up and he looks at me with narrowed eyes, I balk again and bite my lip as my thoughts scramble.  _ Fuck fuck fuck, don't gay panic, Will, stay focused, no gay panicking! _  "Okay um, yeah, thanks. I mean, for your apology…? Very thoughtful. Like, really, truly, it was sweet. Like, a totally normal amount of sweet! So I'm gonna go get some food, right now, actually, I'm famished-" I clear my throat and move to walk past him and out of the room while rambling excuses,  _ I gotta get out of here _ -

Suddenly, Keith grabs my arm and everything short circuits. I swear if I had my visor on, it would show the Windows 22 error message. I blink as I pause, turning to look at his hand holding onto my forearm and it takes a stupidly long amount of time for me to find the courage to meet his gaze, after a serious internal struggle.  _ Jesus Christ, I'm too gay for this. _

His gaze is annoyed, and his jaw is set, "Why do you keep doing that?"

_ Oh fuck. _

"Doing what?" I ask innocently, looking at him with wide eyes and attempting to portray as much genuine confusion as possible, which isn't hard. Technically, I don't know exactly what the 'that' is that he's referring to. Is it me saying weird shit like that and then backtracking it to be a teammate? Is it just the weird shit, is it just the team mate part?  _ Fuck I'm overthinking, but it’s hard not to when he’s so fucking hard to read all the fucking time- _

"That thing, where you say something nice and then go back on it, and _ then _ try to run away." Keith states in an accusatory tone, and I find myself unable to meet his gaze anymore. 

He grows quiet as he releases my arm, but before I can return to any semblance of function he gets right up in my face with an antagonistic scoff, "What’s your issue?" I open my mouth to answer but my voice immediately dies in my throat when I peer into Keith's eyes; they're dark and they're  _ pissed.  _ My lack of response stokes his ire as he steps closer, __ "Why don't you say what you really mean instead of brushing it off or running away. You know, talk things out like an actual adult?"

I bite my lip as hard as I can to keep myself from losing my gay mind as I try to take a step back. His touch was too distracting for me to pull my shit together, but him being so close like this is _worse_. He moves then, and I blink as he shifts so that he stands in between me and the door. _He’s_ _blocking my exit._ _Fuck. There’s no running from this._

I know what he's trying to do. His tone is meant to be cutting to get a rise out of me to speak my mind, but… why does he sound like I should be angry with him? I can't look at him, but I feel his gaze on me, and I feel such a warmth in my chest it's threatening to suffocate me. Why would he think I'm mad at him? He should be mad at  _ me. Fuck. Fuuuuuu- _

_ I can't admit to him why I'm like this. It'll ruin the team. But I can't let him think it's because of him, because it's not really him, its me being unable to deal with my emotions, like he said, like an actual adult. He has to know that, at least, that it's not him. _

"Keith, I'm not mad at you." I murmur softly, and my chest hurts like crazy as I struggle to speak evenly, "It's… you're not doing anything wrong, okay?" I huff, flurrying for words other than  _ because I like you, because I like you, because I like you... _  "It's just me. You've done nothing to upset me or anything like that, I'm just… It's just me, okay?"  _ Close enough. Please get the message. _

Keith's eyebrows furrow in confusion, "What do you mean 'it's just you'? What does that- that doesn't even make sense!" His voice is rising in frustration and he throws his hand in the air in exasperation. 

"I'm not fucking pissed at you, Keith!" I snap back at him a little harsher than I mean to, and Keith's eyes bore into mine in such a way I swear I'm gonna pass out, right then and there.  _ Stick me back in a healing pod.  _

I let out an anxious breath, and as soon as my words begin to reform Keith's getting up in my face again, aggressively, with his fists clenched, like he  _ wants  _ to fight me.  _ He’s like a Pokemon trainer, making eye contact just makes him more and more willing to fight.  _

_ Does he seriously have no idea that him standing this close to me is... It's not scaring me, it's not even remotely frightening, it’s distracting. God, he's so close, he's so close that I can smell the salt on his jacket, the faint scent of worn leather… _ **_fuck,_ ** _ why am I such a fucking homosexual? _

I flounder at Keith's proximity, I find my gaze on the ground. My bloody suit lies in a crumple in the corner, with some leftover flakes of dried blood on the side. I'm not sure if there are any holes, though, maybe I just have to wash it?  _ I'm hyperfixating to escape. Snap back to reality, Lancaster. Fix this. _

I stammer, "I know, I'm making no fucking sense, it doesn't even make sense to me either, I'm sorry, I just… I can't really say, it-"

"Why not?" Keith interrupts with an antagonistic glare, and I feel the knot tying up in my throat, tighter by the second as he steps even closer.  _ Fuck me, there’s no way he’s so dense that he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. _

His voice darkens for a moment, fading from pissed off to something far worse, a slight crack in his voice as his tone grows softer, "If you have a problem with me, just say it. We have to work together, whether you like it or not, so-"

"I like you, Keith!" I snap, my blood seeming to freeze in my veins as I blurt out the one thing I was fighting not to say, and I'm filled with  _ immediate  _ regret. Keith goes silent, and I feel my eyes widen as I stare at him. He blinks at me with utter confusion, all of the anger and frustration in his face melting away to a utterly flabbergasted expression. 

"Wait, what?" He blinks, taking a 180 turn from anger at the drop of a dime to wide eyed confusion.

_ Well, fuck, it's out there now. I can't backtrack that. Oh,  _ **_fuck me._ **

I run a hand through my hair, it's shaking, so instead I cross my arms, struggling to look anywhere but at him as I feel my gay panic constricting my throat, "It's not that I have a problem with you, Keith. It's… it's the opposite. I… I like you. I like you more than I should, more than someone who's just a team member."

If the Altean mice were around, I would be able to hear their heartbeats at how silent the room is. Keith looks at me with a neutral, if surprised expression, and much to my shock without any violent reaction. I guess I shouldn’t have expected as such, he is annoyingly hard to read but…  _ Why hasn't he moved away? Shouldn't he… can't he say something? Fucking anything?  _

Finally, he does, and it's surprisingly conversational, "Okay. So why are you acting so weird?"

_ What the  _ **_fuck-_ **

"What do you mean-  _ what? _ ” I blurt with an incredulous expression, “So, I don't… I don't want to make you feel different than everyone else because of it!" I have to fight to keep from shouting, throwing my hands in the air as I speak straight from the heart, "I don't want to single you out by treating you special just because I caught feelings, and I especially don't want you to feel pressured to do something about it! That would hurt the team more than anything else!" I want to meet his gaze, I want to gauge his reaction, I need to know what this is doing to him. Finally I muscle the courage and flicker upwards from where my eyes were glued to my socks.

He still isn't saying anything. His eyes are glinting violet-blue in the overhead light, his expression hasn’t changed. He looks like he’s listening to Shiro giving us a game plan, astute attention but no obvious expression. 

I grow, pulling out my innermost thoughts and laying them out chronologically for him to see, "I was worried by telling you that I'd ruin the team dynamic that's already fucking hard enough to maintain as it is, you know, you’ve seen it, but goddamnit Keith, I suck at it!" I yell, throwing up my hands in frustration as Keith continues to just stare at me with a growing bewildered expression, "I suck at pretending that I don't think you're the most passionate and daring and brave person I've ever met, you’re impulsive because you follow what you believe in with consequences be damned, and-" I balk when I realize I'm rambling, a lot, and I feel my cheeks growing bright red. I cut myself off and cross my arms tighter over my chest. I can't look at him, I don't want to see what he thinks of me now after this mess.  _ God, I must sound so fucking stupid.  _ I take a soft, deep breath before I'm able to bring my voice back under control to a normal level of speaking, "So there. I said it. I'm not mad at you, and it's not because you did something wrong. It's… all on me. It's just me."

Keith is silent for a long time, longer than I thought he would be. Slowly, simply dying from curiosity, I lift my gaze and watch his with a guarded expression. I have no idea what thoughts are running across his mind, but his expression is pensive, like he's mulling over what I just said. Thankfully he's taken a step back, probably due to my loud talking… No, I was totally yelling, no need to hide that fact, I'm already ashamed enough as it is I might as well own it. He's silent for a long while, what felt like years could've been seconds. I'm not sure if I want to hear what he has to say, honestly. I'm scared of knowing how his opinion of me has changed. 

I build up my resolve to leave, to make this less awkward than it already is, but my heart stops when Keith finally breaks the silence, murmuring in a surprisingly soft voice, "... Okay. So, why  _ did _  you tell me?" He asks with a more gentle tone than earlier, almost cautious.

I can’t help but blink at him incredulously.  _ Isn’t it obvious? I guess it’s not, because he thought I was  _ **_mad_ ** _ at him of all things, maybe my attempts to keep things level with him were more successful than I thought. Why is he so fucking calm about this?  _ "Because I don't want you to think it's because you did something wrong." I give him a look of confusion, and even though talking about this makes my chest hurt, even though I’m at least 90% sure I stopped breathing five minutes ago… I have to make sure he understands. He’s got to fucking understand. "Even if this changes how you feel about me or think about me… I don't want you to think that you're pushing me away, or something awful like that, I needed you to understand that you’re not at fault. And you weren't understanding me when I beat around the bush, so I just… said it."

Keith blinks at me. Slowly, his expression changes by inches, his lips curling into a smile until without warning, he laughs. He actually laughs. Like, his lips pull back into bright smile and his eyes close and everything.

I blink at him stupidly for a solid minute. My throat tightens and I feel my breath stall, smitten with how fucking  _ adorable  _ his laugh is before I have the sense of mind to beat my thoughts back to the dusty corner,  _ we’re in this mess because of you, get back into your box you gremlin.  _

But… we’re pretty much  _ well  _ past that now.  _ But the box will still remain, let’s be real.  _

Keith composes himself after a moment and meets my completely perplexed gaze, and I think my soul transcends this realm when his lips curl into a smirk, "How can everything you do be so selfless all the time?"

I blink past how much my head spins at his  _ fucking smirk, how could such a simple thing sway me so much. Wait a minute, he just said something. I’m… selfless? What the fuck, w- _ "... What?"

Keith shakes his head at me like I’m a kid with chocolate all over my face denying that I’ve stolen a piece of the cake. His hands rest on his utility belt on his waist that’s too big for him, resting just above his hips at a rugged slant,  _ fuck I’m hyperfixating again, and that’s not the right area for me to be looking- _ "I've never seen you do anything for yourself.” 

I find my gaze snapping up to meet Keith’s as they glimmer under the overhead light, he’s looking at me with a light I’ve never seen, it’s vulnerable, it’s soft, it’s gentle,  _ I’ve never seen such a look on Keith before. _ “Everything you do is always for someone else, you're always trying to make things better, easier, for everybody around you... except for you. Even... this." Near the end of his words his gaze casts down to the side, where  _ Hamlet _ alone sits on the bookshelf at the foot of my bed, as he gestures vaguely at the space between us. 

I have  _ no clue  _ what to say to that. I’m rarely speechless, but I’m finding that Keith’s managing to break a lot of things that I didn’t think I was capable of doing. Even less so when those  _ dark and stupidly gorgeous eyes _ slowly rise back to me. Eye contact has always been hard for me, just in general, but around people I like? Damn near impossible. Around  _ Keith?  _ It’s a fucking wonder I’m able to look in his direction at all without combusting. But it’s weird, I can’t look but I’m drawn to look, they’re beautiful and I think if I could I’d look into them for hours and hours and still find new aspects to them that I like,  _ how paradoxical and utterly gay. _

"You always surprise me that way, you know." Keith murmurs under his breath, almost like he’s speaking to himself, “I’ve never met anybody who cares about other people like you do.” 

_ Fuck. Fuck.  _ **_Fuck._ ** _ That does  _ **_not_ ** _ sound very heterosexual of you, Keith.  _

I stare at Keith in utter bewilderment, and the more I try to find words to speak, the more they seem to evade me.  _ Why the fuck would he say that, why is he saying that, what’s the point of this end of the conversation? I just admitted I  _ **_liked_ ** _ him, that should be it. He should be saying something like “Uh, thanks?” or “Sorry, I don’t really see you that way,” Or “I’m not into guys,” Or… God, any number of things, there are so many options, why is  _ **_this_ ** _ what he decided to say? Why would he say something that’s… nice. Sweet, even. I never would’ve thought Keith would be the kind of person who’d say something sweet, he’s about actions, not words. Why would he say… Why would he say something that makes me want to kiss him so badly that my hands are shaking and I’m being strangled by my heart in my throat.  _

My thoughts snap back into focus when I spot movement in the recesses of my consciousness, and that’s when I realize that I was staring at his lips. They’re drawn into a slight smirk, that same fucking smirk that  _ started  _ this mess-  _ Wait... is he getting closer? _

_ Oh no. Fuck me, he is definitely closer. Oh my god. He’s closer.  _ His eyes are unwavering, dark, unreadable, and Christ,  _ he’s close.  _

I find myself taking a step back when he takes a step forward,  _ he’s actively getting closer to me,  _ yet his gaze doesn’t waver, he doesn’t falter. Under my breath I know I’m practically incoherent as I mumble, "I dunno, I don’t really see it that way-" 

My voice jolts in my throat when my heels knock against my dresser behind me, rattling it loud enough that it’s about to topple over. A dull pain rises from my feet, but compared to the assault of other, greater emotions I’m being assailed with it very much doesn’t take precedent in my head. Nevertheless I wince, glancing down at the dresser and bracing my hands on the flat white surface to make sure it doesn't fall, and after a brief moment it stills. 

I look up and I can’t help the noise that rips from the back of my throat, a noise I don’t think I was capable of making somewhere between a whimper and a gasp. Keith is right there. He is  _ right there. _ He can't be more than a few inches away, and his expression is neutral, with the vaguest hint of a smirk ghosting his fucking lips like he has no idea the effect he has on me… Or maybe he does.

_ Okay. Okay. Okay… this might be a time to gay panic. _

I jump a little when I feel his hands touch my bare waist,  _ why am I wearing this stupid fucking sweater that’s cut so fucking weird- _ the world stops. I stop breathing, my heart stops beating, my blood runs still as I realize exactly what’s happening when I finally find my gaze focusing to the present so intensely that I don’t know how I could have been anywhere else as I stare at him, his gaze shrouded in violet smoke. I can’t read his features, he’s expressionless, but he’s close, he’s so fucking close there’s no way that this is remotely heterosexual-

**_Yep. It’s time to gay panic._ **

Keith's left hand slides up my side to my shoulder, leaving a trail of fire under my skin in his wake that sends jolts of electricity through my blood. I feel the rough texture of his gloves, those  _ stupid fingerless gloves,  _ graze my skin and I glance down to follow his hand. He gently touches the side of my face, his thumb brushing my jawline, and I forget how to breathe. I can’t breathe, I don’t breathe,  _ but who needs air. _ With a touch I don’t think I would’ve noticed if I wasn’t so intensely aware of his movements, he brushes a stray strand of hair that hangs in front of my eyes behind my ear, just a glimpse of red, and my soul is damn near ready to transcend this realm as his hand finally rests on my jaw, cradling my face in his hand until I’m meeting his gaze and everything stops, I forget where I am, there’s just Keith.

_ Maybe I did die, and maybe this is heaven.  _

His eyes lock onto mine and I'm lost in their depths, I never would’ve thought that eyes as dark as his would be capable to express what they do now, especially given how shrouded he is, how guarded, but there’s something sweet there, kinda tender. Neither of these things are what I’d associate with Keith, he’s brash with hard edges, rough and tumble… But he’s here. He’s touching _ me _ with such innocence and soft affection that I’m about to lose my fucking  _ mind _ . I try to slide my gaze away so I don’t go off the deep end, I’m  _ dangerously close  _ to doing something stupid but I find my gaze on his lips instead. They look soft, turned in a familiar, challenging lilt that’s so Keith, and that’s what makes me realize just how real this is. 

_Oh._ _Fuck._

_ This... is happening. _   
_ I am... wide awake. _   
_ This isn't a dream. This is real. This is happening. Right now. _

"Keith-" I try to find the voice to speak, something, anything to prevent the sparking flame burning deep in my chest from frothing forth into my hands, but before I can even formulate words Keith immediately responds in a rumbling tone, “Will.” 

It’s like an answer to a question that I didn’t ask, like we’re greeting each other in the hallway, and my gaze returns to his. For several seconds all is quiet; in my head, in the air, and everything is.. still. I don’t remember the last time my thoughts have been so tranquil until only one thought formulates in my mind. One action.

I move without thinking, before I can second guess or stop myself. I close the minimal space between us and kiss him.

For a moment my entire body seems to sigh, and my eyes fall closed, but almost immediately regret crowds into my throat.  _ Oh no. Oh no. What am I doing. What am I doing. What am I- _

Keith’s hand on my jaw hasn’t moved,  _ he  _ hasn’t moved, and for a moment I wonder on a scale of one to ten at just how badly I just fucked up, but no sooner does the thought cross my mind does his lips move against mine. They’re tender, they’re cautious, exploring their boundaries, and my head immediately spins in a thousand different directions.  _ Keith’s kissing me back. I kissed Keith, and he’s fucking kissing me back. Holy shit. Holy shit. This is happening.  _ **_Gay panic_ ** _ has reached its  _ **_maximum_ ** _.  _

Before I can begin to second guess myself, I curl my fingers into the fabric of his jacket and pull him closer. It isn’t a rough tug, I’d never grab him in a way that he couldn’t escape, I would  _ never  _ do that to him. I’ve lost control, I know I’m completely off into the deepest end of the deep end but some wickedly selfish part inside me wants to test the limits, wants to push and prod and see just how far I can take this before I hurt myself.

Keith presses forward with easy compliance and without resistance. The dresser behind me rattles, and I feel his free hand resting on either side of me, and with a soft burst of air I feel him gasp against my lips. My heart stutters in my chest at the sound, like kindling added to the fire that’s bursting forth into my fingertips. Self-satisfaction twists in my chest and I tighten my fingers on his jacket, his fucking  _ ugly jacket _ and to my surprise Keith matches my pace. He moves his lips against mine like they’re born to be there, and just beyond my immediate proximity I’m aware of my dresser behind me creaking at our combined weight, but I’m more concerned with his body pressing against mine as he presses against me. I feel my breath hitch without meaning to, and immediately I slide my hands down to his sides and curl my fingers just under the fringes of his jacket into his black shirt beneath, pulling him slightly to show him  _ yes, come closer, melt with me _ . My hands no longer tremble, his touch is like fire in my veins as I feel his breath hiccup against my lips, a soft ghost that tastes like cinnamon against my tongue.  _ Cinnamon. Fuck, he tastes like cinnamon.  _

_ How far can I take this. How far, I want to know, I  _ **_need_ ** _ to know-  _ without a second thought or warning, I tease his bottom lip with a tug of my teeth. A soft, husky moan escapes his parted lips, a sound so soft that I wouldn’t have heard it if I wasn’t focusing on anything other than him, and the mere breath of his voice sends pure lightning through my being.  _ Fuck, fuck,  _ **_fuck._ **  I pull him closer, my hands loosening on his sides as they roam upwards, wandering the front of his shirt. I feel his breath quicken beneath my fingers as Keith's kisses intensify, pressing his lips hungrily against mine and I immediately match his level of intensity. 

He’s learning, he’s testing just as much as I am, and as my fingertips breach where the skin of his throat meet his shirt he sucks on my bottom lip, and I can’t help the quiet sound that’s ripped from within me,  _ God, it’s amazing, no dream could ever amount to this incredible feeling of heat and warmth of his lips.  _ They’re soft, so fucking soft it’s got to be illegal, everything  _ about  _ him should be illegal but it’s shocking to find this level of softness because he’s rough, he’s rugged, and he proves as such as his hands find the exposed small of my back and I’m gone _. _

I find my hands pushing at his jacket as I move to his shoulders, shifting it out of the way and before I can even begin to second guess myself my hands leave his chest and instead yank the jacket off his shoulders. He nibbles on my lip as he flows with the movement, but he refuses to pull his hands away from me so his jacket remains halfway on and halfway off. A hand glides back to my face, resting just on my jawline with the barest feeling of his fingertips in my hair, I can feel his breath stutter out of time when his teeth touch my lips again and this time I not only allow the sound, but I ensure it’s made, the barest of moans. I feel his breath stutter out of time when the sound falls out of my lips and he swallows it into his and I’m about two seconds away from blacking out at how heady the pleasure is.  _ I cannot get enough. This could go on for hours and it’ll never be enough. _ My hands roam his chest, up to his shoulders, his collarbone, the expanse of vulnerable skin between his shirt’s neckline and his jaw, and I feel his breath hitch in surprise. He presses closer to me until his chest touches mine and I can feel his thrumming heartbeat, and I wonder if he can feel how fast mine is, like a fucking motor engine. I’m completely overwhelmed at how much I’m being sated, I want him to feel good, I want to feel him, __ I want  _ him,  _ I _ want- _

Keith’s teeth bite a little harder than I think he meant to on my bottom lip, barely any pain, nothing that would’ve typically bothered me, but the sting immediately snaps me out of the clouded headspace as I realize  _ exactly  _ what’s happening. 

_ No. This can't be right, he can't possibly like me back, no. This is too fast, this can't be normal. No, I... _

_ Fuck. No. I’m doing it again, this is just like summer all over again. I pressured him into doing this. _

I'm spiraling. I feel myself freeze up as Keith’s lips move against but I can't move, I feel my actions completely stall like an engine that refuses to start. 

_ How the fuck else are you supposed to react when someone confesses they have a crush on you? He can't seriously see me this way. But he bit my lip, he's touching my neck and cupping my face, his hands are hot and gentle and warm but this can't be, he…  _

_ He's just indulging me because he feels sorry for me. Fuck, I kissed him first, I made that leap, not him,  _ **_oh God, what have I done._ **

Keith, sensing my hesitation, pulls away a little and immediately my entire body aches like I've never felt before.  _ Oh my god, his touch is like crack, I want it now more than ever. _

"Are you okay?" He murmurs softly, his voice husky, gentle and sweet, and deliciously out of breath.  _ Fuck.  _ His lips are bitten red, and his eyes look like they're in a daze as they stare deeply into mine,  _ all I want is to get lost in them. I want to dive back in and press him against the wall and swallow his moans- _

_ No. I have to stop this before I hurt him more than I already have. Fuck, it may already be too late. What is wrong with me? I thought I was over this- _

I frown, swallowing on the lump in my throat, and before I lose the strength, I wedge my hands between us and push him just a bare distance away, just far enough that his lips can’t reach me. 

It’s physically the hardest thing I think I've ever done since I left Earth. 

He takes a step back in compliance, his eyes wide, innocent, confused,  _ God. _  I speak faster than I thought that I would’ve been capable of in this situation, "No, we can't, we… you don't have to do this."

Keith blinks at me like I just grew two heads, "Um... yeah. I know." He pulls his jacket up back onto his shoulders, and I feel my heart stuttering in my chest.  _ How had I allowed myself to get so far gone in his touch that I already started stripping him? Jesus Christ, what have I done? I can’t believe I let myself lose control like that. _

"No, I… You can't I… you shouldn't do that after someone says that kind of stuff to you!" My voice cracks and I find I’m unable to meet his eyes, there’s a cold breeze on my neck and my right shoulder. I flicker my gaze downward and quickly realize Keith's wandering hands had probably caused my sweater to shift, so I pull on the material to fix it back into place. I snap my gaze back to Keith, who’s standing there, looking at me with guarded confusion, and I harden my voice to prevent it from cracking like that again, "It sets up this expectation on you that I'm expecting something, that's why I never wanted to tell you in the first place.” 

Keith’s expression hasn’t changed and slowly his arms start to cross over his chest, and I spit out the words quickly, like if I hold onto them for too long they’ll burn my tongue, “So Keith, let me be clear, right now, that I don't expect that from you. You don't have to go and do that, and in fact, I'd… I'd rather you didn't." 

It's not true, almost. I want his touch more than anything else, especially in this moment, but… not if he's doing it to sate me. I would rather never feel his touch again than continue, despite how sweet and amazing it might feel, because I’d know that he’s just following the motions rather than following his feelings.  _ I’ve done that once before, and I sure as hell won’t do it again. I don’t want to turn back into the person I was that summer. _

Keith raises an eyebrow at me, his expression is hardening into its usual guarded composure and only his eyes glinting in the light is any indication of his confusion, "... Why?"

I squint at him incredulously,  _ what the fuck do you mean, why- _  "Because I don't want you to feel like you have to like me back!” I snap a little harder than I mean to, but I feel my demeanor slipping, my voice rising anxiously, “I'm going to hurt you by pressuring you like this, I’ve  _ already  _ hurt you, I can’t just…!” 

My voice stalls in my throat when I realize I’m close to shouting again.  _ This is not how I thought this conversation was gonna go. At all.  _ I bring myself back under control with extreme effort,  _ how am I losing control so much, so quickly, what is wrong with me?  _ I close my eyes and take a shaky breath, but once I open them I find the will to give him a steely look, "It's better for the team, for you… if we just pretend this never happened."

Keith's expression clouds into something I can't quite characterize, but anything readable is gone, but I swear I see his eyes shimmer like I just struck him.  _ No. _

_ No, no, fuck, what did I say? This is supposed to stop me from hurting you, not… Fuck, what did I say? _

"I never would have told you if you hadn't started blaming yourself, Keith, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for this!" I stammer, trying to fix this before it's too late,  _ fix it, Lancaster-  _ “I'm sorry that I suck at hiding my feelings from you, but I'll do better, I promise! I’m sorry that I… I-I didn’t mean to lose control like that, I…” My mouth clams shut when I feel my voice shaking again and my eyes fall off to the side as something horrible, empty, and cold fills my chest, “I’m sorry. I know apologizing for what I’ve done won’t fix it, but… maybe we can just… try to continue being friends, team mates, just like normal, and nothing has to change. For the team, if nothing else.”

It hurts to say it out loud. It hurts really bad to say it aloud, and it hurts even worse now that I've tasted his lips and found they're soft and his hands are gentle and- "I never want for you to do something you don't want just for the sake of hurting my feelings." I blurt out, finally finding the courage to speak again, "Because, at the end of the day, how I feel doesn't matter. I don’t want to make you push yourself to do something just because I did something stupid, I-... I'm  _ so sorry _ , Keith." 

Keith merely stares at me, his eyes slowly growing... hard? Yes, they’re like brimstone. They’re masked, hidden, and stone cold.  _ Oh that hurts. _

_ But it's what I deserve. _

"So… we'll just go back to normal." I murmur, swallowing again on that stupid persistent lump in my throat, "Okay?"

I meet Keith's inexpressive gaze after a moment, and all is silent. He's staring at me, his eyes are breathtaking, and I feel like my chest is going to explode at how much it hurts. It doesn't hurt as bad as it could've. He could have been disgusted and revolted. Well... he might still be disgusted, but at least he's hiding it well for my sake. He did kiss me, so it's not the gay part he's probably disgusted of. I would be disgusted with me, too, I am disgusted with myself for allowing my feelings to get so far, so deep, so fast, to the point of losing control and putting him in a situation like this. 

Things won't be normal again, but if I can pretend hard enough… I'll definitely be okay, and Keith’s the toughest person I know, he’ll bounce back, but I shouldn’t have made him have to. I just hope I broke it off before anything permanent could happen to hurt him, or… before I hurt him like I hurt Jax.

Keith's eyes flicker downward, and I realize that there’s nothing more to be said. I close my eyes and take a shallow breath. I can't look at him anymore, it hurts too badly.  _ I have to get out of here. _

I brush past him without sparing him another glance, "I need some food."

I leave Keith behind in my room and I feel like I'm walking through syrup. I think my body has practically stopped functioning properly, I don’t feel like I can control where I’m walking to, all I know is that I won’t stop until I’m away, far away.

_ I told him. I told Keith that I like him. _ . _. then I fucking kissed him. God, how could I be so fucking stupid, he probably only even allowed me to because he was sorry for me, felt bad. I don’t even know if he’s ever been in a situation like that, he didn’t know what to fucking do, he may have not known that he could turn me down. How the fuck else are you supposed to react when someone confesses something like that, like, 'oh shit uh, sorry, rip you.’ And especially when they just go and fucking  _ **_kiss_ ** _ you out of nowhere,  _ **_God,_ ** _ I’m a fucking stupid bitch.  _

_But… That would've hurt me less, though, if he had stopped me. It would've been clear and concise, leave no room for doubt…_ _And it wouldn't have allowed me to feel him like that._ _Now that I know I can't have it, that that was the first and the last time, it's even worse, like hugging a dog for the first time and then as it’s gone you realize you’ll never see another one again._

_ But it's okay. I'm strong. I'm a survivor. If Damien’s taught me anything, it’s that nothing like this can truly hurt me anymore. _

_ But then why does my chest ache like this? Fucking stupid feelings, for fucks sake, why did I let myself get carried away? I should’ve controlled myself better, not even just now, I shouldn’t have kept his jacket. I should’ve given it back that day, I shouldn’t have fucking  _ **_slept_ ** _ with it. I should’ve given him space instead of forcing myself to spend time with him, because I realize now that I was fucking self-sabotaging myself. I was telling myself that I had to learn how to deal with my feelings but really I just wanted to be near him, wasn’t it?  _

_ Fuck. Keith deserves better than me anyway. He's attractive and with kissing skills like that, he's definitely got better options, he probably already has better options. He probably got around all that time back on Earth or something, that's why he was comfortable doing that, of course he does, look at him, that boy fucks. Or… maybe I ruined that for him, oh god, what if I took away his first kiss? I have no fucking clue! Oh, fuck  _ **_me._ ** _ Fuck, I can’t believe I did that. _

_ Whatever.  _

_ He wouldn't want a broken toy anyway. _

_That sounds like Damien. Shut up. I'm not broken._ _Not emotionally, I suppose but... I do suppose I feel a little romantically broken. And whose fault was that?_

_ I can make sure his destructive nature doesn't rub off on Keith. Marks like that don't easily heal, it's part of the reason why I couldn't bring myself to really date after Damien died. What if I began to hurt others the way he hurt me? Isn't it a fact that children whose parents are alcoholics are twice as likely to become alcoholics when they're older? It's gotta be the same with situations beyond that, right? Transitive property or something? It makes perfect sense. I'm saving him from me, he deserves better, I don't deserve him, I just need to keep reminding myself of that so that I never ever do that to him again.  _

_ I can’t keep doing this to myself.  _ I stop and bang my fist against the wall, the pain bringing me back to the present as I wring my hand with a grimace. But, it only lasts me so long, and after a few moments of radio silence my thoughts crowd in until they’re all I can see, all I can hear.

_ Jesus Christ. Maybe this is a minor blessing that I lost control like that. Maybe now I can get over my crush and get on to the big picture, like, you know, saving the fucking universe. I just wish I hadn’t done it in such a… intrusive fashion. _

_ God. Why does this hurt as bad as it does? _

Tears are running down my cheeks before I can stop them, and I suck in breath and sniffle as I angrily wipe them on the sleeves of my  _ stupid sweater _ .  _ Stop it. Stop it. I did this to myself. If I just hid it better, this never would've happened, and now I've ruined it. You fucking ruined it, you fucking idiot, I hate you. I hate me. I hate myself so fucking much. _

I feel myself sinking to the ground as I wallow in my own pathetic self-misery, my back pressed to the wall as I bury my face into my hands. I'm spiraling again, my head is spinning, everything’s moving just a little too fast that I can’t keep up.

_ At least you made him understand that you don't expect anything from him, no, that I don't want him to do anything about it because of that expectation. That's the important thing, not this pain. The team is more important than that. _

_ No. _

_ He's more important than that. _

_ He deserves someone better than me. _   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---  
> i LITERALLY could not fit enough Angst into this, y'all can say it: FUCKIN. CHILL.  
> I just realized, with the amount of time that it took for Will to get tf up, it would definitely lead to some.... interesting team dynamic moments. Also, I really wanted to analyze exactly what was going through each of the team member's heads when,,, ya know.  
> I'm THRIVING on the angst rn **  
> if you're interested in the song, it's https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAYM2sNU5wk (This is a cover of the original song from the Lord of the Rings. Yes, I did this on purpose, as I'm working under the assumption that Voltron is set in the year 2118, (exactly one hundred years from now) with all the futuristic tech etc., and I think that Lord of the Rings, having such a massive fandom in the 2000s, would've had a remake in the distant future aka past in the Voltron-verse. My parents are huge fucking geeks because my grandparents were huge fucking geeks, so Will's parents' parents would have been super into it when it got remade i approximate in 2050, and maybe even into the original, which got their kids, at least Will's mom, super into it and revamped the old songs and stuff. Bc, lets face it,.. Imma do the same shit to my kids one day. Plus, I just really wanted to include songs in this bitch. I initially was like 'hey, incorporating songs into the writing, thats so cringe!' before I realized... *insert John Mulaney's "we're WELL past that now"*  
> ALSO, not to metagame, but his knowledge of LOTR may actually just be helpful and plot relevant later on 0w0  
> \---


	18. The Galra Resistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Allura returned to the Castle of Lions, Team Voltron's attention turns to their next step in their grand scheme of de-stabilizing Zarkon's Empire. Shiro has an idea, one that the others on the team are skeptical of, but they're is at least willing to entertain it, once they gather some more information.  
> \---  
> **WARNING of blood and gore description in the last bit of the chapter, (small spoiler: Will's writing down about Sendak's occupation in the Castle).**

I don't really consider myself to be a religious person, but it’s nothing short of divine influence that allowed me to cry in an empty hallway in the Castle without someone stumbling on me. I could not be more grateful.

It takes me a while, but after several minutes of breathing and mentally slapping myself out of my own head, I’m able to pull myself together. This is definitely aided by how my stomach quivered with every breath I take, I’m so  _ fucking hungry.  _

I take a shaky breath and run a hand through my hair.  _ Okay. You had a moment. Now breathe. Breathe. Now, eat. _ Once I manage to stand up, I head to the kitchen. 

I’m  _ so  _ grateful that there’s no one inside when I arrive, but edging in the corners of my thoughts I know my luck’s bound to run out at some point.  _ I wonder where the others even are… They’re probably in the dining room; they said they were going to catch me up on what I missed before I ducked out, but now I  _ **_definitely_ ** _ am not feeling up to being around the entire team. God, especially if  _ **_Keith_ ** _ is there. They’re just gonna have to deal. I need time.  _ I grab a bowl from the wall and fill it with goo from the nozzle on the side of the room, and I take it with me to a location where I know I can be alone. 

When I arrive to my hanger, my lion is lying down with her head between her paws, her eyes dark and inactive as she sleeps. I still as I approach her, the memories rushing back to me of when we crash landed on that planet. She’d just… shut down.  _ I wonder how they even got her back inside, since I was passed the fuck out. Maybe they carried her in and she got up at her own volition since.  _ At the time, I thought that the reason she shut down was from sheer exhaustion, but now, I wonder… maybe it’s something more.

Cautiously, with my bowl of goo, I enter her maw through a gap between her canines. All’s quiet as I head up the stairs toward the pilot’s chamber, and as soon as I walk in I’m hit with a massive wave of disinfectant, flooding my nose and my throat like brutish dust. I cough and cover my mouth as I peer around my cabin. 

It’s spotless, astoundingly so, and I honestly don’t think I would’ve believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes. I remember, it’s kind of fuzzy but the image is strong, my seat had basically turned completely red. I can’t believe whoever cleaned out my lion did it so… well. I recall as I was awakening that someone was complaining about it, someone with an annoying tone in their voice.  _ It was probably Lance. I wonder how he got the short straw… But I’ll definitely have to thank him sometime for it. Especially since we haven’t been exactly on good terms, with all the headbutting we’ve been doing ever since the Balmera. And when I yelled at him on the bridge. And when I left him and the rest of the team during that shitshow of a fight... _

I glance around the cabin as if it’s for the first time; the holographic panels on either side of the pilot’s seat, the grand holographic panel in front of it where the main controls lie, the control rods like ski poles in resting position in the ground beneath the front panel. With the speed of a glacier I sit in my seat, picking my feet up into the chair with my knees curled towards my chest. I hold my goo balanced on my chest and my knees, pressing my shins against one arm of my lion and my back against the other. It’s comfortable, incredibly so, and I find my eyes closing as I slowly eat the goo. 

For once, everything in my head is quiet. I feel very much like a rag that’s been wrung out too many times, empty with a vague pain deep within.  _ I still can’t get over how spotless my cabin is. I was definitely out of it at the time, but I remember it was… it couldn’t have been an easy cleanup.  _

I peer to my left at the front holographic panel. My lion is still resting, having not responded to my presence with any sort of recognition like turning on the panels or the control rods popping up.  _ That fight with Zarkon must’ve wiped her out. Both of us, actually. Or maybe she doesn’t care that I’m here. _

_ Oh, fuck, right. We fought Zarkon. How the fuck could I forget that.  _

_ Keith and I fought the Emperor of the Galra Empire. Two to one in our fucking  _ **_lions_ ** _ and he not only stood his ground, but he kicked our asses up and down his fucking vessel. How the fuck did we even get to that point, how the fuck did we end up at Zarkon Central? _

I place my empty bowl down on the floor as I curl up tighter in my chair, allowing my eyes to close with a soft, slow breath out my nose.  _ How did this start? _

_ It all started when we got together to search through Sendak's memories, connected with the fragments of information that Pidge got way back on Arus, to find some intel. We found that secret Galra base from his head, the Galactic Hub, Space Base, whatever. That’s… that’s where the Empire is refining quintessence, whatever that is. Coran seemed to recognize what it was, and I feel like I've definitely heard that word somewhere else before, but not on Earth for sure. I think that android that Pidge reprogrammed while we there said it was something that... fuck what was it… it had the ‘highest energy-per-volume in the galaxy’.  _

_ Well, whatever quintessence is, it's obviously a power source, an incredibly powerful one based on the fact that it required whoever that shadowy figure to refine it. And what  _ **_was_ ** _ that thing? I don’t even know if it’s a sentient person or not, but there’s no questioning that it was powerful; it seemed like it was casting spells or some shit, but there’s no way that that’s the case… but then, if it’s some sort of tech, why does it require the person to wield it? Why wasn’t it a part of that refinement process, person removed, just like that weird ball of energy and the funnels, and the belts? I mentioned to Keith afterwards, some random memory emerging from the depths of hell in my head like a rising spectre of Sendak talking about ‘submitting us to the magic of the druids’. I didn’t really focus on that, it was kind of glossed over by everything else that was going on, but now, having faced that figure… Maybe that’s one of those druids that he mentioned. Whoever that is, or whatever they are… they’re obviously a big deal to be involved in such an important process like that. _

_ I'd say the hell that Keith and I raised in the refinement center probably slowed their production a little bit, as we accidentally destroyed a good bit of their unrefined quintessence stash in our fight, but I doubt that if the material were so important that the base we found is the only one. And, unfortunately, Zarkon probably knows that it was us, because Shiro and Allura went aboard that ship that ended up with her getting captured. We no longer have surprise on our side, Zarkon knows Voltron’s back in full force with new pilots, and the Castle of Lions to boot. If Voltron is as big of a deal to him as Allura says he is, then he’s no doubt already hunting us down as we speak.  _

I pinch the bridge of my nose as a slight headache sparks in my temples. _ The purple field erected around Zarkon’s Command System apparently jammed our wormhole generator and trapped us within as soon as we got there. Zarkon must have known who Allura was as soon as she was aboard, and was ready for us when we arrived, but we couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes behind them. How did he have that purple field ready, how did he have that many  _ **_fleets_ ** _ ready to intercept us? I don't think I've ever seen the Galra use wormhole technology, all the ships we’ve seen in the past flew with thrusters and all… but Zarkon must have at least known that the Castle of Lions was able to wormhole, which makes sense if he knew Allura, but why did he have that jamming field but not wormhole technology for his own ships?   _

I let out another deep breath through my nose as I let my head rest on the back of my seat. It smells so strongly of disinfectant, that’s probably what’s giving me this headache.  _ Then there was the strangeness of our lions, and not just mine. Zarkon exhibited strange power over the Black Lion, one that went so far as too outright reject Shiro and launch him into space. He had a bayard, which Allura once said is the traditional weapon of the paladins, and it was black. I'm more than certain now that he was, is, at some point the Black Paladin of Voltron. But… wouldn’t Allura have told us about that on the first day? Why didn’t she? That seems a little fucking important. _

_ What else is Allura hiding from us? _

_ I saw him use the bayard, he had two forms: a sword and a shield, like my bayard and Keith’s put together, except both were fucking massive, I bet his shield’s size rivals mine. Something about Voltron and the lions that I'm slowly learning is that we’re all gaining the different abilities that our lions, Voltron, and our own suits, possess over time as we bond closer with our lions… maybe it’s even linked to us growing closer as a team. So, if Zarkon was the Black Paladin, to have that level of power, he must’ve been one of the paladins for a long, long time. Especially if he can somehow take control of the Black Lion even while it's already being piloted, however the fuck he managed to do that in the first place. _

_ That also explains how the White Lion knew Zarkon on sight.  _

I shudder as a cold feeling washes over me in recollection, that  _ furious, blinding  _ hate _. I have never felt her emotions so strongly before. Zarkon did something to the White Lion, something she remembers vividly enough to have a personal vendetta against him… _

_ Or something he did to her former paladin.  _

I dig through the recesses of my memory, my gaze staring listlessly out of my lion’s gaze.  _ I have no idea about any former White Paladins; I tried to ask Coran about it once but he didn’t seem willing to answer me at the time. I wish I knew more.  _

_ Zarkon spoke, three different times. I’m not sure how, but he did, in my head like how I hear my lion. I don’t know if the others heard him, if anyone it must’ve definitely been Shiro. I can’t imagine the kind of conversations  _ **_they’d_ ** _ been having. But I know at least once he spoke to me specifically, he'd said... I remember, he'd said that the White Lion's failure will always be in its regard for others.  _

_ Interesting... Those words are familiar. Sendak said the same thing, but I think he was talking to Shiro. _

_ Zarkon didn't hesitate to attack Keith and I on the surface of his vessel. He destroyed massive pieces of his own ship himself in order to strike at us. I suppose it must be a Galra thing that they don't care about life, the lives of his people and the lives of his enemies. Familiar concept. _

I shake off the memory of Sendak swiftly, and refocus back on Zarkon's words instead.  _ He called me 'another child' piloting the White Lion. So… the last White Paladin, perhaps even the White Paladin who was teammates with Zarkon himself, was considered a child, at least to him. Something about that is tied to my lion, because as soon as she saw him... She went berserk. She stopped listening to me, she attacked at her own volition with weapons I didn’t even realize she had, like that massive full-body pulse thing. I wonder what even that was I can't describe it as anything short of telekinetic, like a blast of nothing.  _ I hear a dull thrum deep within my lion, like a sigh as she sleeps. 

_ We got the Princess back somehow, thanks to Lance, Hunk, and Pidge. They had to go get Shiro, I vaguely remember them saying he was in trouble…  _ I blink as I stare at the opposite wall of my chamber.  _ I heard one of them say while I was waking up from the pod that I was in there ‘for longer than Shiro was’. So Shiro got injured bad enough while he was inside that he had to get in a pod too. Or, perhaps, by whatever happened that ripped us all apart and threw us across the galaxy. Pidge on some planet with fuzzy creatures, or something, Hunk and Lance onto a planet with mermaids and from what I gathered that was exciting, Allura and Coran got stuck in a time loop, and that in itself is just so fucking weird I don’t even want to think about… but Shiro nor Keith said anything about where they got thrown off to. I guess it doesn’t matter now, because we’re all back and we’re all okay, but…  _

_ Shiro reclaimed the Black Lion before Zarkon was able to truly damage either Keith or I. Well... He did get me pretty good, and the Red Lion certainly did not look well off but we escaped. Then we were stuck, with the forcefield jamming our signal, and before we could even get into a Plan B situation the forcefield just… fell. _

_ Before this moment, I never considered how or why it did, because Zarkon essentially had us right where he wanted us. We would've had to have flown out of the system in order to wormhole, and I don't think the entirety of the Galra Empire following behind us would've allowed that, even if I stuck to my plan of staying behind to give them time. _

I pause, finding my stream of consciousness halting.

_ I might have died out there, fighting some alien war entire galaxies away from home, if that barrier hadn’t fallen.  _

I swallow the lump in my throat as I close my eyes. The room still reeks of disinfectant, but I think I’m growing used to it because it doesn’t seem nearly as bad anymore, nevertheless my head still pounds. I might have to leave soon just to get the stench out of my eyes. 

I haven't felt any sort of suicidal tendencies since before I transitioned, but something tells me that I wasn't compelled to stay and fight back then because of that. That feeling, wanting to die because of self hatred, that’s something I'm familiar with, something I've learned about myself and have dealt with, but what I did back at the system before the barrier fell? That... I didn't have time to think. All I knew was that I needed to protect my friends, protect the Castle. __

_ I think now that it isn't as initially stupid as it sounds, as I'd probably die well before the White Lion would be injured, as she'd transfer the damage to me. She's demonstrated that she can control herself when need be, so she could escape back to the Castle if I did die, if we'd managed to escape; all they would need is to find another White Paladin, so no harm would’ve really been done- _

I shake the thoughts away and hold my head in my hands, letting out a pent up breath.  _ No, that would do nothing but hurt the others if I died. Thinking such things is not productive.  _ I take a deep breath and let it out in a rush, and I look back up out the glass at the endless space beyond.  _ Think back to the consecutive events that led to this moment. Find the answers, or at least formulate the questions to find the answers to. _

_ The wormhole we were jumping through got corrupted, somehow, by that strange black light. I remember the feeling well, it was wrong, filling me with a burning sense of awful... wrongness. I only ever felt that once before, back when Keith and I faced off with that strange masked figure back at the quintessence refinement facility, and just before Zarkon somehow seized Voltron and ripped us apart. That raises more questions than answers; whatever corrupted the wormhole was the same type of energy, science, power that that figure commanded with its purple lightning that it used to refine the quintessence, and whatever gave Zarkon the power to rip us apart. Whatever it is, it's powerful, it's… it's  _ **_bad._ ** __

_ We have to find out more. We need more information, about quintessence, the process of refining it, and especially that magical shit. It must have been Zarkon's doing, it's too well in timing for it to be anything else, but how? What is this power he and his followers seem to command? _

_ I feel no closer to answers than before. _

I hear a faint clicking sound like when the coms become engaged. I open my eyes. In front of me, on the right hand holographic panel, is a holographic picture of Pidge in the Green Lion. She seems to be looking at something intensely, typing on a board that I can’t see, and her gaze is completely focused. 

“Hey there, Pidge.” I mutter, and immediately Pidge shrieks and falls out of her chair and out of sight. I blink stupidly for several seconds when she pops her head back up, looking at me from just underneath her holographic panel,  _ “Will, what the fuck.”  _

Even despite the deep emptiness that weighs in my chest like a stone, I feel a genuine, amused smile coming on. “Hey, you’re the one in my cabin.” 

“I..!” Pidge hesitates, flickering her gaze off to the side at something I can’t see before she gives me a deadpan, unamused look, “… Fair.” She rights herself, sitting back in her chair with a loud  _ thump.  _

“What’re you doing?” I ask idly, raising an eyebrow at her from where I lean against the arm of my seat.

Pidge flickers her gaze back to me from where she sits facing to my right, and I can see a reflection of code off of her round glasses, “I was just checking on some stuff, and I was gonna use the communication matrices of our lions to see if I couldn’t extrapolate on some data points to draw together an algorithm.” 

I blink for several seconds as I try to process what the fuck she’s saying before she sighs, “Lions have power, I’m using it to look for something.” 

“Look for something?” I ask with my head tilted, but before she can answer my memory jogs back to my tongue, “Your family. Have you gotten any leads?” 

This seems to touch a nerve. Pidge immediately stiffens with a perfectly straight back, her jaw setting with a dark glow in her eye as she fixes her gaze on the screen, “There’s absolutely nothing! Not on the ship on Arus, not at the Galactic Hub, not in Sendak’s memories… Nothing.” She initially spits out the words like they’re fire to be spread, but as she progresses she just sounds more and more frustrated and distraught. 

I right myself a little in my seat, folding my legs under me, “Luckily those aren’t the only three sources we can use to find you’re looking for.” 

Pidge growls under her breath, her eyebrows furrowed as she glares at the hologram offscreen, “I know that! I just… the longer time it takes for me to find them, the more and more likely I won’t be able to.” Her voice drops with a crack, and I see her bite her lip to prevent it from quivering as she stares persistently ahead, the coded lines racing across the lenses of her glasses like shooting stars, “I already had to wait so long, you know?” She risks a glance over at me, and through the hologram I see her shoulders slumping as she turns away again to look at her lap, “I don’t even know if I could even follow up on a lead if I had one. Who knows who or what has them? What’s preventing them from coming home.” 

“I know for a fact that we would drop everything and go search for them, Pidge, if it came time to.” I answer without thinking, my gaze glued to her image on the screen. 

She seems to pause and glance up at me, raising her eyebrow in surprise and after a moment she asks in a smaller voice, “Really? Everyone?” 

“Yes.” I state firmly, before allowing myself a snarky grin, “And if not, a majority, and only for a hot minute before I got to the dissenters. I’m pretty persuasive.” 

Pidge laughs, a little dry but still genuine, as she fixes her gaze back on the code. Before long the symbols abruptly fade, and she glances back over at me, “Yeah, that wasn’t very helpful… I’ll have to try something else, I guess.” 

“You’ve got this, Pidge. I believe in you.” I murmur gently.

“Well,” She grumbles, “That’s one of us.” 

“Cool, good thing I have enough belief for two.” I answer with a quipped grin. Pidge rolls her eyes, but I can see the glimmer behind the hazel hues nonetheless. 

“Hey, by the way, just to catch you up, Shiro’s got this idea on what to do next, but the Castle needed a breather after Zarkon’s beatdown.” Pidge suddenly pipes up, her hand on the console as she turns to face me fully. Her hair is in wild, messy curls around her jawline, and I wonder again if she cut her hair herself before she went to the Garrison. “So first thing tomorrow we’re meeting in my hanger to scan Shiro’s arm.” She gestures idly over her shoulder as she spins in her seat.

I blink in surprise, “Shiro’s arm?” 

“He says there’s coordinates in his arm that leads to the guy who freed him.” I blink at her stupidly, and after a bear she waves me off dismissively, “You’ll see tomorrow.” 

I bite my lip while slowly nodding, and I find myself straightening in my seat, “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Pidge.” I murmur appreciatively. 

“What? Why’re you thanking me?” Pidge asks with genuine confusion, and I examine her gaze as she looks at me incredulously, “I just ranted to you about my problems.” 

“Yeah, I know.” I answer, shrugging a little as I maneuver my legs out from under me, my socked feet touching the cool, metallic floor, “I like hearing about other people’s problems. That’s why I like reality TV.” 

Pidge rolls her eyes at me with a loud, dramatic groan, and I can’t help but laugh as she cuts the transmission. 

I sit in my cabin for a few minutes more, the noxious fumes of the disinfectant doesn’t really bother me as much as it did before. Idly, I wonder why Pidge didn’t ask me where I was earlier, when everyone had this meeting or whatever to plan for the next step that she mentioned where we’re scanning Shiro’s arm for some reason. I’m not upset about it, I’m actually pretty grateful because the last thing I want to talk about is  _ that.  _ Maybe she sensed that, or perhaps she didn’t care, either way, I’m happy. A little less happy if she didn’t care, but nonetheless it still benefits me.

I feel my eyes growing heavy as I lean back in my chair. I’ve probably only been out of the cryo-pod for about… what, four hours? Five? But right now, all I want is to sleep for seventeen years, at minimum. Especially after… well. Horrible gay decisions. 

_ Fuck damnit, I’d almost forgotten about that.  _

I mentally shake it off as I rise from my seat, rubbing my eyes and heading down the stairs into my lions jaws. As I step out, I hear a purr, her purr, from deep within my chest. 

I remember just about two weeks ago how that feeling had scared me shitless, having no idea what it meant or why it was happening, but now, it’s comforting. I glance back over my shoulder at my lion. She hasn’t moved, but her eyes are lit a dim gold, as if she’s peering at me through half opened eyes. I blink at her slowly, like how I would with a cat back on Earth, and slowly the lights dim once again as she returns to sleep.  _ Maybe that’s her way of telling me that she knew I was there. Somehow, that’s… comforting. At least my presence is noted.  _

I turn and trudge back towards my room. 

That is, apparently, when my divine luck ran out, because as soon as I turn out of the hangar lounge I immediately run into Lance. 

“Dude, Will, there you are! You’re a real hard dude to find when you wanna be.” I nearly jump out of my skin at his loud voice echoing in the hall, and I turn towards him as he approaches with his hands in his pockets. He’s got this jean jacket-gray hoodie combo, his clothes from back on Earth, that on anyone else would make them look like a hobo, yet on him it somehow works.  _ Everybody on this goddamn ship has no sense for clothes. Except maybe Allura, but even then I think the amount of pink in her wardrobe is excessively, stereotypically feminine. _

“I try.” I answer with a slight shrug, turning towards him as he approaches, but as soon as I face him Lance hesitates, stalling just a few feet away. I blink at him stupidly as his eyes flying wide with a look of mixed confusion and worry. 

_ “Dude,”  _ Lance murmurs in a heart-wrenchingly genuine manner, “You look like  _ shit. _ ” 

“Thanks.” I give him an incredulous look, crossing my arms over my chest as I try to push down the burn of self-consciousness in my chest as I repeat, “I try.”

“No, I mean like… You look like you… Are you okay?” Lance stammers, his eyebrows furrowed as he takes another step forward.  _ Oh Christ. _ I run my hands through my hair; they’re wild waves, even wilder than usual, and I remember suddenly how I sobbed in the hall for a good ten minutes earlier, and even though it’s been a while... My eyes must still be red as hell.  _ I wonder how Pidge didn’t notice. Not like I’m gonna complain… _

“Yeah, just tired.” I can feel the lie in the air taking no form and melting in the ground like a splash of water.

Lance’s eyes narrow at me, like he can see the lie itself floating in the air between us before his shoulders slump a little, his gaze sliding to the ground in such a gentle and sad manner as he sighs, “Listen, if this is about when we were going to get Allura-“

“Lance.” I quickly cut him off with a deft motion of my hand, biting my lip before resting a hand on his shoulder, “It’s not you, I promise. Honestly, so much shit has happened that whatever was said at the time doesn’t really matter, tensions were fucking high.” Lance looks at me with a surprisingly level gaze, and I relax as fond warmth spreads throughout from my chest, “I have nothing to be mad at you about.” 

Lance stills at this, his gaze sliding to the floor with furrowed eyebrows. I feel a lump forming in my throat, blocking out the warm, fuzzy feelings that had begun to spread and suddenly I’m talking before I can stop myself, “If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me.” 

As soon as the words leave my mouth, the dark void that had been covered with the bandage of my conversation with Pidge rips open with full force, and the ache permeates throughout my being. Suddenly I can’t stop myself from speaking, “I yelled at you because I was scared. I left you, Hunk, and Pidge to not only rescue Allura, but I also did nothing to help Shiro get back to his lion.” I feel my voice is wavering,  _ I have to lighten this before I start fucking crying again.  _ It takes some extreme force to slap a slight grin on as I add, “And I’m sorry you got stuck cleaning up my blood and whatnot. That was pretty nasty.”

Lance cracks into a slight grin, and for a moment I wonder if I’m in the clear until Lance grabs onto my shoulder with the same arm that I had on his shoulder, “Dude… no.” 

I frown and open my mouth to argue while releasing his shoulder but Lance merely wags a finger at me, “No, shut up for a second, will you?” 

I blink at him in surprise, my voice dying in my throat as Lance glowers at me with a determined expression, “Things got… pretty ugly. Everything that could’ve gone wrong kinda, well, went wrong, but you were just trying to keep us together. Like, you weren’t really yelling at us, you were just reminding us what we were doing. Even though you  _ were _ technically yelling it, it wasn’t the yelling that mattered really, but what you were saying. Just like you didn’t  _ really _ leave us, you were trying to get the Black Lion and protect Keith.” 

I find myself staring at Lance with a shocked expression, and for the second time that day I’m at a loss for words as Lance squeezes my shoulder firmly with his hand, “Shit happens, you know? What matters is that it worked out.”  _ Familiar words. _

My gaze falls to the floor as I cross my arms self-consciously, and after a moment I tilt my head to the side and give Lance a wicked smirk, “I think that’s the most mature thing I’ve heard you say, Lance.” 

Lance curls his nose at me and huffs indignantly, pulling his arm away to scowl at me, “Hey! I  _ am  _ mature!”

“Bitch, where?” I ask rhetorically with my arms outstretched, to which Lance jokingly pushes me on the shoulder with an indignant grumble. I relax, warmth spreading through my being as I find myself grinning like a fool at Lance, “You know Lance, you’re pretty awesome.” 

“Pfft, I know.” Lance says with a sassy shrug, his broad shoulders seeming to make his whole body move with the motion. 

I shove him with my elbow, “Jerk!” I huff, “I’m serious, though. I’m glad that you’re here with us. You’re a good friend.” 

Lance opens his mouth, no doubt for a snarky remark, but it seems to die in his throat. He stammers for a moment, his tone initially confident before it immediately trails off to what sounds like embarrassed mumblings. 

I raise an eyebrow, “Did I just break you?” 

This seems to bring Lance out of his incoherent, blathering mess, and I  _ swear  _ I can see a blush in his cheeks, “Nuh-uh! I-I j.. ju- you..!” 

“Sure.” I laugh in response. While the warmth of camaraderie is fresh, I jut my thumb over my shoulder, “I’m gonna hit the hay, though. See you tomorrow, yeah?” 

Lance pauses and flickers his blued gaze across my features before he answers in a low manner, “Yeah. Night.” 

I continue down the hall and back to my room with a significantly lighter stone in my chest. 

I collapse face first on my bed as soon as I walk in, groaning softly as I get under the covers, reaching my arms under my pillow comfortably to lay on my stomach.  _ God, I’m fucking tired, I can barely keep my eyes open- _

That's when I feel the rough, course material of something balled up underneath my pillow.

I blink, sitting up a little on my elbows and pulling it out. It's Keith's jacket, when he loaned it to me after I nearly drowned in the shower. Immediately my cheeks begin to burn.  _ Fuck. I forgot I still have it. I’m glad it was hidden under here, I can’t imagine what he would’ve thought if he saw it when he was in here earlier. _

_ Should I return it?  _

I close my eyes as the smell of him curls around me, clouding my thoughts as I recall the last time I smelled him this close.  _ His hands on my waist, cupping my cheek, his lips pressed against mine, warm and firm and gentle...  _

I groan and bury my face into his jacket, consumed with his scent, the stupid leather and salt. I can almost barely taste the cinnamon, how the  _ fuck  _ does he taste like cinnamon, and with a sharp internal smack I bury my face into my pillow with a loud, annoyed groan. Despite it, I curl my fingers into his jacket and hug it tightly to my chest, my eyes closing sleepily. 

_ Fuck. Me.  _

_ This is gonna be much harder than I thought it would be. _

_ But right now...  _ I shift so that I can feel the rough texture of his jacket on my cheek, practically laying on top of it from my position on my stomach.  _ I'll allow myself this.  _

_ I'll start forgetting his touch later, but right now...  _

_ I'll allow myself this.  _

\-----

As soon as I wake up, I rise and get dressed, pulling on one of the thousands of white shirts that I have - I really need to trade - and my flannel from Earth without too much thought of the time. When I peer at the clock I see that it’s relatively late in the morning, almost lunchtime.  _ Pidge said everyone’s meeting up in her hangar to scan Shiro’s arm, or whatever. Hopefully this’ll give us some fucking answers. I’m definitely bringing up some questions, that’s for sure, like… is Zarkon really the Black Paladin like I suspect? Allura would certainly know. Also, what the fuck is with that black magic shit that’s happened now more than once, with the corrupted portal and that one lightning zappy bastard back at the Space Base.  _

Pidge has set up into a bit of a workshop for all of the various technological shit she works with inside of the Green Lion’s hanger. I realize as I walk in that it’s all most likely devoted to finding her family. The others are collected around one of Pidge’s worktables with Shiro in a seat in front of her, his prosthetic resting on the table. Beside him, Pidge is working on connecting several wires to several different points in the dark violet metal at the joints and within the elbow, like where the veins would be. I pointedly avoid meeting eyes with anyone because I don’t want to risk making eye contact with Keith, he’s probably here, and I don’t want to risk it. I keep my head down and pause at the work table, standing just next to Pidge, focusing on her and Shiro. Pidge turns to her computer once she’s hooked up a bunch of wires and shit to Shiro’s arm and begins to wades through thousands of unfamiliar symbols filtering across the screen at rapid intervals that I don't bother to track.

I cross my arms and lean on the table to watch her work with a fascinated expression as she peers at Shiro to her right, "I'm not finding any coordinates in here. Are you sure this wasn't just a dream?"

Shiro adamantly shakes his head, his mouth in a firm line, "I'm positive. Someone helped me escape to get back to Earth."  _ Oh, so that’s what we’re looking for. I think Pidge mentioned that, but I didn’t realize Shiro was basing it off of a dream. I mean, I of all people can relate…  _

Allura tenses to my right, her hands are curled into fists, "And he was Galra?"

Shiro nods, but it looks like he's unwilling to meet Allura's intense, and angry gaze, "... Yes."

_ Okay, I wish I was paying more attention when Pidge was telling me all about this. _

Allura frowns deeply at Shiro, "You know you can not trust them." Her eyes are flared in distrust, and I can feel the righteous anger radiating off of her.  _ Not without cause. _

_ She has every right to be distrustful, and frankly, I can't agree with her more. Just thinking about Sendak's bloodlust, Zarkon's lifeless and malevolent eyes... I can't imagine anything benevolent about a species that has so little regard for life.  _

Shiro frowns deeply, "But your father must have trusted them once." His eyes snap up at her were she stands off to his side as he peers at her accusingly, "Zarkon was the original Black Paladin, wasn't he?" 

_ Ah.  _

_ I'm not the only one that thought that. _

_ Shiro would know better than anyone. If I could hear Zarkon speaking to me in my mind, then I can't imagine the sort of exchange he was having with Shiro.  _

Allura bristles, and her gaze falls to the side, "That was a long time ago." 

_ So he’s right. _

"Wait, what?" Lance blinks at her stupidly from where he stands next to her, his eyebrow raised in confusion. Allura sighs deeply, turning her back to him as she crosses her arms defensively, deeming not to answer.

My mouth goes dry when I hear Keith speaking to Lance, it sounds like from where he stands on the other side of Allura and beside Shiro, "Didn't you see how he stole the Black Lion right out from Shiro? Or he could do all that cool stuff with his bayard? Shiro's bayard? You know,  _ the black one _ ?" Something in his tone shifts and I risk a glance up, and immediately regret it as something seizes my throat and chokes off my breath. His gaze meets mine after stating 'the black one', and I look away so fast I damn near get whiplash, instead fixating on the symbols that stream across Pidge's screen. 

I know it’s childish to keep look away, to avoid the inevitable… but I don't think I want to be mature about it right now. He doesn't seem to be acting any differently, at least from what I can see, which is a relief for both of our sakes, maybe it didn’t affect him as much as I worried it would… But selfishly, it’s gonna wreck me and my interactions with him for a hot minute or two.  _ Yeah, definitely  _ **_not thinking about it_ ** _ is going to help.  _

I let out a soft breath as Shiro looks at Allura with a confused, yet firm expression, "Why didn't you tell us the truth about Zarkon?"

Allura sighs, her body tensed as she looks at the floor, "I wanted to protect you from the dark history of the paladins so that you would have a chance to bond with the lions on your own." She slowly looks up and meets Shiro's gaze, the anger now gone and replaced with determination, " _ You _ are the Black Paladin now, not Zarkon."

"Yeah, well, the Black Lion may have another take on the matter." Shiro grumbles as his gaze falls away to his lap, a deep frown carved into his expression. I stare at his expression with worry.  _ I can't imagine the kind of talk Zarkon was having with Shiro. They were definitely fighting for dominance over the Black Lion, and if Keith hadn't interfered...  _

_ Maybe what he’s saying is that he thinks that he would have lost.  _

Before any of us can follow up, Pidge suddenly gasps, "Wait a second, I think I see it now!" She reaches forward and types several commands into her computer, soft electrical tinkering resonating through the hanger as her glasses reflect the symbols from her screen, “Repeating numbers in all of this Galra code. Let me extract it…” She presses another command key and the holographic screen in front of her station lights up.

Several images appear of a solar system and various information about the area, including size and planet distance as Pidge grins excitedly, "They are coordinates! They lead here, the Thaldycon system."

"Then that's where we're headed." Shiro states with a determined gaze. 

I bite my lip, hesitating to speak but at the last second as Shiro rises from his seat I wrestle the courage and speak lowly, “Hey, not to be a devil’s advocate here, but what will this accomplish?” I can feel the others’ looks glued to me like sap dripping onto my skin but I keep my gaze focused solely on Shiro’s expression, “I mean, what are you hoping to find there? Shouldn’t we be following up on our leads that we’ve already gotten? Like the quintessence, that magic-y stuff that happened to our wormhole, or-“ 

Shiro cuts me off before I can continue, and although his expression is steely his tone is gentle, “How good  _ are  _ those leads, though? We got all the intel we could from the universal station with nowhere else to go from there, and we have no idea where to go about finding another refinement center. What we do need are allies in our fight against Zarkon, and I think whoever freed me…” Shiro’s gaze drifts downward to his prosthetic arm, which clenches slowly into a fist, “They’ve got to be the key. If there’s a resistance inside the Galra Empire, then we can get answers and further leads into the rest.” 

I knew as soon as Shiro began speaking that this desire to follow this lead goes far beyond his argument, from the fire in his eyes to the determination in his voice. He's mentioned in the past that there are holes in his memory, and I remember clearly those words that Sendak had said to him, when I was drowning.  _ The others don't know what you know, seen what you've seen. _  Maybe he's hoping this person can enlighten him on what his memory lacks.

Not like he really needs anything else to support him, his argument is pretty impeccable.

"Shiro," Keith’s voice hovers in the air with a surprisingly gentle tone, the kind that I recognize that he only uses with Shiro, "Are you sure that you can trust this?” Keith uncrosses his arms and gestures to Pidge’s computer, and as Shiro turns to him his gaze flickers from Shiro’s to his prosthetic, “I mean... After all the Galra have done to you, they... They took your arm!" His voice is raw and emotional, something I don’t think I’ve ever seen from him on such a scale, and it triggers a memory, suddenly plucked out of my conscious from something Shiro said a few days ago,  _ 'I knew Keith since he was a kid.'  _

Watching Keith's behavior around Shiro, I can see it clear as day. Keith's guarded, I know this from every conversation we've ever had, yet his tone, almost his entire demeanor, changes when he speaks to Shiro. I’ve never characterized Keith’s voice as loud, it more has a powerful projection, but when he speaks to Shiro’s it audibly grows quieter, gentler, almost vulnerable, a kind of vulnerable that shows his trust in him. From someone as guarded as Keith, something so simple and hardly noticeable in anyone else stands in stark difference between how he interacts with Allura, Hunk, Pidge, and especially Lance. For the first time I wonder how Shiro earned that level of trust, and what led Keith to have his trust be allowed sparingly. It makes my heart ache, and for a moment I wonder if it’s because I’m jealous… but I don’t think that’s the case. I’m actually pretty pissed, angry; angry at whoever made Keith the way he is, because no one can be that guarded unless it’s to protect themselves from something that they’re expecting, unless they’ve had that trust broken before. The rage melts away nearly immediately as I remember his face, just before I kissed him it was soft and open, but after it was hard and closed;  _ I did the same to him. I may not be the original reason, but I certainly contributed to it.  _ Guilt constricts my throat, but as I look at him and Shiro I feel a shred of relief and joy; at least he found that ability to trust in Shiro.  _ I just wish I could’ve done better to at least not be a contributing factor to his distrust. _

"It's worth the risk." Shiro declares firmly enough to snap me out of my thoughts as he turns to look at Keith, "Someone helped me escape. If we can locate some allies in our fight against Zarkon, especially ones from his own side… We might just be able to find a way to take him down." 

This seems to quell Keith a little based on the tension easing in his shoulders, but not enough to loosen the tightness in his jaw.

Allura lets out an anxious breath, her azure gaze closing with a stern expression, like a teacher mentally counting to ten before she sends her class to detention, "We can check the location… but I do not like this." Her eyes snap open with a surprising dark light cast over them like the depths of the sea, "The Galra are not to be trusted."

We move together back towards the bridge, and I find my thoughts wandering to the Galra… whether or not they really are as cold and cruel as they seem to be. I shiver as I try to think of any shining examples that can change my mind or Allura's, but the only other Galra I've ever encountered have been Sendak, Haxus, and Zarkon, and really only then the only one of the three who gave me any impression of character was Sendak. Not that Haxus didn’t have character, but he was just a blind lackey,  _ literally  _ when I got to him with my bayard, but nonetheless. My side aches just at the thought, and I fight the urge to clamp a hand over the ghost pain. 

_ Maybe she's right. Sendak went straight to brute force and violence when it came to capturing the Voltron lions. And the whole thing of the Galra crystal infecting the Castle… there was no negotiation, no surrender, no path but forward. But… the Galra are an entire race. Writing off Sendak as an example of the Galra may for all I know be like writing off all of humanity because of Hitler in the second world war almost a century ago. They can't  _ **_all_ ** _ be like that… can they? _

"Hey, Will, you doing okay, dude?" I blink out of my thoughts, and I turn to glance over at Lance, who has taken stride beside me. His eyebrow is raised and his hands are shoved into his jacket pockets loosely, like we’re going on a walk through the park. 

A lump begins to form in my throat stubbornly, and I fight the urge to get upset with him.  _ He’s just looking out for me. He saw me yesterday, he smells something’s up. I just… gotta be vague. And put up a better front.  _  "What? Oh, no, I'm fine." I brush him off as gently yet as dismissively as I can, and pick up my stride to move ahead of him to indicate that it was not up for discussion.  _ The last thing I want to or need to do right now is talk about… anything. Tighten the bottle cap, Lancaster. _

Allura takes up her position in the middle of her circle as we enter the bridge, the pillars rise to meet her palms as the entire ship hums in preparation to travel. We take our seats around her in our respective locations. I collapse in my seat, slumping backwards and worrying the White Lion's stone that hangs around my neck once I’ve typed in my commands to give the Castle permission to wormhole. Kevin is hardened, pressed along the side in a decorative manner around the stone as per usual. He hasn't been active ever since that first time and then just before Sendak blew up the crystal on the bridge, and I'm not quite sure why. _What is your purpose?_

I never really considered what Kevin, or really even the White Lion’s stone itself, is for. I never really had the time to stop and really think about it, but what I do know is that it's definitely connected to the White Lion. It can apparently heal, but I'm still not entirely sure how that happened or how that works… and then, it made Kevin. I have no fucking clue how  _ that  _ happened, or why his form is the stereotypical dragon that I imagined from all the stories and tales I would write back home. I’d expect something more alien. If it’s connected to the White Lion, then it’s definitely alien, but that would mean that dragons then are inherently alien... Then again, we do ride in mechanical lions, which seem to me very much like a lion back on earth, with the structure and whatnot, so maybe there are some animals in the expanse of the universe that are in common with Earth?  _ That’s a whole other line of thought and series of ramifications.  _

With a massive thrum, like the beating of a large drum, a blue, swirling portal with dark streaks leading into its depths snaps open before us. Something reflexive tightens in my throat as I’m filled with apprehension; it’s hard to force from my mind the horror of being ripped from the Castle, from my friends, and being thrown somewhere into empty space and then basically left to die. 

_ Yikes, wow, can we lighten up a little here? _

Slowly the Castle pulls itself into the tunnel, the entire ship trembling at the force of the wormhole around us. I grip my seat tightly with white knuckles, but luckily it’s only a few seconds of shaking before we blast through to the other side. 

As the shaking stops, I open my eyes and outside of the great glass wall before us we are confronted with massive, floating, sea green crystals in empty space, lingering in clusters that range to be no bigger than a lion to the massive cluster, that takes up our primary line of vision, that’s about as large as a small planet. The crystals are aren’t quite opaque, I can see the faint glimmer of stars just within them like they're oceanic diamonds. Beyond the massive clusters is a violet-azure nebula floating among the stars, swirling like Aurora Borealis, and stars that glimmer like a sprinkle of flour across the galaxy. 

I never liked the idea of going to space, but… I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as this. A sunset, a mountain range, a seaside, they’re gorgeous in their own manner, but space? Ethereal.

"Well, this is it!" Coran calls from his place at the front of the ship, "No sign of any activity at all, living or otherwise!" The crystals are scattered, like stars themselves, and as we approach I see that the smaller clusters seem to be somehow tethered to the larger clusters, especially the largest in the center, because they waver and move like the asteroid belt of that planet’s ring when we were chasing down Rolo and Nyma.  _ These crystals are really beautiful… like if the ocean was caught in a crystal. _

"Can we take a closer look?" Shiro’s voice is rough and inquisitive. I peer down at him to see him rise from his seat, inspecting the crystal clusters.

Coran shakes his head, "I don't want to bring the Castle any closer if I can help it. Those xanthorium chunks contain highly unstable nitrate salts!" He waves his hand with a flick of his wrist, bringing up a holographic analysis of one of the crystals pops up in front of him, "Even bumping one of them will blast us straight to Wozblay."  _ Wozblay? Sounds like some new genre of music. Not a good one either. _

"Wow, crystals that are lethal  _ and  _ gorgeous? What more could you want?" I murmur under my breath, unable to help myself.

Shiro frowns as he stares out the window, his hands hanging loose at his sides, "Are you sure this is right?"

Coran holds up his hands in surrender, "These are the coordinates that Number six gave me!"

Pidge bristles from her seat on Shiro's left, huffing in indignation, "Hey, my decryption is solid!"

"There must be something we're missing." I can hear Shiro’s grumble from my seat in the back as he examines the xanthorium chunks, as Coran called them. They're really beautiful, they remind me of fire-blown glass, and the reflect the light of the thousands on thousands of stars surrounding us. 

"We should get out of here." Allura states firmly, her hands already fixing themselves back on her guidance pillars as she frowns out the glass, "We've checked it out, but now it's time to move on."

"No!" Shiro’s voice sparks, but as we all turn to him it morphs to be as level-headed as before, albeit with a more desperate undertone, "There must be something more to this, I can feel it." Shiro pauses for a few moments as he gazes out at the crystals before he commands, "I think we should wait." 

We stand in tense silence for a while, all of our eyes on the xanthorium. I watch Shiro as he leans his hands on the back of his seat, his back tense and blocking me of all view of what he could possibly be thinking. 

I call out, “Shiro?” He turns from where he stands at the front with a raised eyebrow, and I meet his gaze evenly, "What can we do to help?"

He's quiet for a moment as he regards me, but he speaks up after a few seconds of silence, "Investigate the clusters. Look for any anomalies on your scanners."

The sound of the beeps and boops of our holographic keys echo in the room as we collectively tap on our screens in unison. I look down at a holographic image of a cluster with a slight frown, wondering not for the first time and not for the last if there’s any sort of “how to use Altean tech 101” somewhere on the ship. But no sooner do I pull up my hologram do the walls begin to flash red with one loud, angry burst from the front of the room, a warning. 

We all freeze and look up to Coran for information as he frantically types on his holographic keyboard. He gasps as he brings up a holographic image of what appears to be one of the halls in the lower levels of the Castle and immediately he turns and yells at us over his shoulder, "There's an intruder in the Castle!"

_ What?! _

"How could someone just sneak aboard the ship?!" Lance cries in shock as we glue our gaze to Allura, who’s bringing up the different surveillance footages filming throughout the Castle. 

Allura growls under her breath, "I knew coming here was a mistake!" After a moment she points a finger at a video feed to her right, and I can barely see the shadow of movement before it’s already gone, "There they are, level five!" In the brief glimpse I caught of the intruder I see that they're masked, shrouded entirely in black garb wrapped intricately around their legs and chest like a ninja. There's a sword sheath on their back, and their eyes are hidden behind large, purple glasses ingrained in the black mask they wear.  _ Creepy, Galra-esque ninja vibes here. Galra, because black and violet seem to be their, well, thing.  _

Shiro shoots to his feet immediately and marches towards his elevator to his lion, "Alright everyone, suit up!"

I'm way ahead of them as my elevator already descends to my hanger. I charge into the armory, a small dark room just off from where my lion rests, and get dressed as quickly as I can manage. As I’m pulling on my helmet I hear Shiro’s voice over the communicator "Alright, split up and spread out, search the Castle and when you find them, call to the rest of us. Start on level five; Will, take the west end, Hunk take the north, Pidge go south, Lance go east. Keith and I will head up to the next level in case he’s already made it past."

The others respond with various acknowledgements as snap my fingers at my thigh to summon my bayard. I grip it comfortably and engage it into its lance form as I leave my hanger, bringing up the Castle's blueprints on my suit's computer. I can see the different directions that everyone is taking to split up, a yellow dot for Hunk, a red dot for Keith, a black dot for Shiro, etc. I figure since Shiro told me to go west end, I’ll head the opposite direction as Lance, who’s moving towards the right side of my holographic image of the fifth level. I head to the left at an almost-sprint/fast jog to cover as much ground as possible.

I race down the halls, grinding to a halt just before turning to a new hallway to peek around the edge for any sign of an intruder. I feel anxious, like there's eyes glued to my spine, but I spot nothing. The halls are empty, soundless, save for my boots pounding on the ground. Fortunately once I’m in the hall it’s impossible for any intruder, no matter how skilled, to hide because of the seamless walls and whatnot, but the creeping sensation doesn’t cease.

The longer this carries on, the more my anxiety climbs; I find my breath is harder to grasp as I peek around the corners, holding my bayard aloft in preparation for anything. The halls are so… empty. Cold, desolate, and quiet, so unbearably quiet that I breathe harder just to fill the silence somehow.  _ This is some horror movie shit. If anyone jumps out at me right now, if it’s the intruder or not, I think I’m gonna hit them on impulse. _

Suddenly, I hear Lance's voice over the com, "I got 'em!" 

I immediately let out a relieved noise, the anxious crawl up my neck receding as I bring up my computer to find him. I blink and pull up the next level and see his little blue dot by the elevators on the 6th level.  _ Shit, his side is by the elevators, he must’ve saw him and followed him up. Now I have to run all the way there to catch up.  _ I break into a sprint back to the elevator as Shiro answers, "Keep eyes on him Lance, we're all headed to you!"

I race down the halls, no longer caring about being quiet now that I know the intruder isn’t nearby as Coran’s loud voice cries over the com, "Careful, he's faster than an angry krammuul!" There's a gasp and silence over the com. I grind to a halt as I arrive to the elevators, and impatiently smash the button to let me up. "But he can jump like a sprightly globinheffer!"

"Coran, you're not helping!" Lance huffs into the com, and I can faintly hear when he speaks the sound of his bayard firing in the background. Coran replies snarkily, "Someone's as mad as a wet chuper!" I pull up my computer and see that the others are all zeroing in on Lance's location as the elevator pings, I climb aboard with all due haste. Once I arrive, we will all be on the same level. 

As soon as the doors open, I run towards the blue dot on my hologram as fast as my legs will carry me.

Suddenly, Coran projects again over the com, "Coming your way, Number six!" I blink down at my hologram, seeing Lance's blue dot is moving, rather quickly, down a hall towards the green dot, Pidge’s position. I estimate the distance between Lance and Pidge is now the new objective, and alter my course. I skid and slide a little on the smooth floors as I take a sharp corner, inadvertently digging my bayard's sharpened blade into the metal floor for a smoother turn and accidentally kicking up sparks. I pause, glancing at my bayard and then at the floor at the slight mark I left on the floor.  _ That was... really cool. Damn, too bad nobody saw that! I wish I know what I did, because that's a neat trick.  _

I hear Pidge huff, "Ah, I got 'em!" I focus back to the task at hand, racing to turn another corner.  _ This looks familiar.  _ I curse under my breath, taking out my suit's holographic screen to make sure I'm going the right way.  _ All these halls in the Castle look the same... _

Pidge cries over the com in an amusing manner,  _ "-aH don't got him!"  _

Coran narrates helpfully into the headset, "He's dragging Pidge away!"

Pidge growls, "Come back here!" I hear faint fire in the background like a pulse and Pidge immediately yelps accusingly,  _ "Hunk!" _

He sounds sheepish as the firing sound ends abruptly, "Oops, sorry!" Coran once again replies in a sassy manner, "Oh, Hunk failed the team, guys!"

I try not to laugh as Hunk pouts over the com, "Hey!" 

I check the computer, and based on this interaction I guess that the intruder has passed Hunk's yellow dot. Both his, Lance's blue, and Pidge's green are now all headed in Keith's direction, who's dot stands just down the hall from my position. Shiro’s dot is making his way over, but he was on the other side of the floor, no doubt having split up from Keith and is now having to retrace his steps. I head towards Keith’s position to help whenever this intruder, who’s apparently difficult enough to evade both Pidge, Hunk, and Lance, arrives.

"Alright Keith, Will, it's up to you now!" Coran narrates dramatically over the com just as I skid into the hall where my computer’s navigation illustrated the red dot. Keith stands in the middle where two halls meet in a crossroads with his sword at the ready, and as I slide in he looks up at me with a start, but relaxes when he sees it’s just me. I grind to a halt as Keith looks away, answering the com, "Alright, copy that."

I hold my lance in one hand, a blade by my shoulder and the other aimed at the floor as I stalk forward, my breath coming in heavy gasps, but otherwise the hall is silent. I pause a few meters away from Keith and bring up the blueprint of the floor, and see that the dots are edging closer and closer, they’d be on us at any second. I look up and watch Keith’s gaze, which was glued to my holographic screen, and he turns to peer down the hall where the three other dots are coming from. Immediately, I can faintly hear the sound of Pidge's voice, yelling something that echoes in the hall and most definitely contains some swear words. Keith starts running immediately towards her voice, his sword at the ready. 

I stalk behind him at a slower pace as Coran gasps, "Oh, this is exciting, he's got a sword, and Will's got.. a pole. A pole with spiky ends."

_ Coran’s having way too much fun narrating this.  _

"Lets see here, two young paladins, one nearly indestructible foe..." Coran narrates through the com as I follow the direction Keith disappeared to, and I hear a loud scrape down the hall, immediately followed by Coran’s cry, "Oh, a swing and a miss!"

I freeze in place as I hear the skid and scuffle of boots on the smoothed floors just ahead of me. I hold my bayard aloft in preparation, and for a moment all I can hear is my own heartbeat.

A shadow flies around the corner ahead of me so fast I can barely see it, a purple ribbon flailing behind the creature as they bound off the wall to take the sharp turn without slowing. They're holding something glimmering and bright green at hand with a lime green string following in their wake. I see Keith slide along the floor as he struggled to turn it as fast as the shadow does, and Coran cries, "Oh, another swing and a miss, let’s hope Will’s pointy stick can stop them!"

The figure, dressed head to toe in black, rushes me and I barely have time to think. I grasp my bayard with flat hands, holding my breath to bide my time and when they're nearly upon me I engage my bayard's large shield by snapping my fingers shut around my bayard on both ends, blocking a majority of the hallway.  _ It's physically impossible for this fellow to evade this, he'll collide right into the shield and give the others the second they need to catch up!  _

But he doesn't collide like I was hoping he would. As the shield flashes up, the figure leaps upwards with amazing grace and I watch with wide, stunned eyes as they instead use my shield to propel upward like a gymnast, sending them sailing over my head. I disengage my bayard and attempt to slash him in the back with the bladed end of my lance, but by then he's already out of range. Keith sprints by me followed closely by a trail of a thick lime green chord connected to… Pidge, being dragged along as she desperately hangs onto her bayard to keep from losing it.  _ Where is this shadow going? They're just... running away. They aren't fighting or engaging, just evading. Annoyingly evading! _

"They can't touch him, he's too fast!" Coran cries as Pidge slides past me at rocket speed. I see Pidge make eye contact with Keith and nod as I race after them. I hear Pidge’s straining effort as she grits her teeth and she sits up, digging her heels into the ground. The shadow’s halts down the hall as they strain against the green bladed end of Pidge’s bayard that they were hanging onto, and Keith takes full advantage of the brief pause Pidge was able to grant him. He uses the wall as a force of projection, leaping off of it with deft footing and lashing down onto the stopped shadow with a cry as I’m catching up.  _ My lungs fucking burn, we really need to do cardio as a team more often _ . 

There's a loud clang, and as I approach I see the figure in black had blocked Keith’s blade with their own sword that's strapped to their back. It's completely onyx just as their armor, and now that they partially unsheathed it to block Keith's blow I can see a brilliant violet rune at its base that glows like a sigil, like a curved scythe with a dot in its arc. The shadow lashes out with their other hand when Keith’s halted and knocks Keith's bayard backwards, flying towards me.

I kick my foot out and snatch it up just in time as Coran helpfully narrates, "He knocks his bayard out of his hands!" Keith stumbles back, looking stunned with wide eyes, but, undeterred, he rushes the masked figure with his fists raised like this is a pub brawl. The figure pulls on the green edge of Pidge's bayard that they were holding with a mighty growl like that of an ox, the force of the tug causing Pidge to yelp as she's launched off her feet forwards, flying and then crashing into Keith. The force knocks them down the hallway away from me as I approach the shadow from behind, now with Keith’s bayard in one hand and my lance in the other. The figure turns to face me and I swing at them with one of my bayard’s bladed ends but they dodge it easily. It's difficult to handle the pole-arm in the first place because I’ve never used a weapon like it before, but while holding Keith's bayard at the same time it takes me several seconds to adjust my grip to hold them both in preparation for defense. The shadow takes advantage of this and they step closer with a move to grapple me, but I summon forth my shield just in time so their hands are met with the barrier. I grasp Keith's bayard, pressed against my palm as I hold my own bayard aloft and stand my ground firmly as the shadow straightens, leaving them standing at least a good head and shoulders over me. The violet, glass stones for eyes gleam in the soft blue and white Altean lights, and for a moment fear clenches my heart when from behind the shadow I see Keith leaping up to tackle the shadowy intruder. Suddenly the figure twists, almost as soon as I spot Keith, redirecting Keith's momentum up and over him and he comes flying into me instead. I drop my shield just in time for him not to smack directly into it but still fall back hard, the force of Keith falling on me knocks the wind out of me so hard that I’m struggling to suck in the smallest of breaths.  _ Ow.  _

Keith rolls off of me with the grace of a cat, and even in my breathless state I act without thinking, I immediately smack him with the side of my hand and push his bayard back into his hands. He takes it without even looking back at me as he rushes the shadow, and I take a second to just  _ breathe. Christ.  _

I sit up as fast as I'm able to, when my lungs no longer scream in agony, and as I rise I see that the shadow has whirled Keith, who apparently hasn't learned his lesson, into Lance and Hunk as they come around the corner, taking all three out like bowling pins.  _ This dude is hella strong to just be slinging people around like that. Makes sense cause they’ve gotta be like, what, 6’5 at least? _

As I stumble to my feet, heavy boots come thundering down the hall, and I look up to see Shiro sprinting to our position from down the hall.  _ Thank fucking God _ . His expression is deadly, his prosthetic hand glowing as he halts before the figure as they turn towards him slowly, on the turn of a heel. The shadow takes a step forward with a hand moving to their back for their blade, and immediately Shiro's prosthetic snaps up at the speed of lightning, lining just underneath the shadow's chin, their hand stalls at their blade’s hilt. For a tense moment all is still as I slowly approach from behind, my bayard gripped tightly at hand. I watch the two stare one another down, _ the same showdown occurred at the gates of the Castle back on Arus, against Sendak, prosthetic hand to throat and all. _ I flicker my gaze over my shoulder, just in case the shadow wasn’t alone, but the hall behind me is barren. 

The mysterious figure slowly drops their hand with the flat of their palm facing Shiro, the movement fluid and carefully slow under Shiro’s hawkish gaze. They maneuver their hands to the sides of their hood slowly, the light of Shiro’s prosthetic reflecting on their black mask as they let the hood of their black tunic drop. The black mask flickers all of a sudden, like a hologram, and falls away completely, only for purple, fluffy ears, like a German Shepherd’s save that they’re pointed in the same location human ears are, bounce out in an almost comical manner as the shadow's face is revealed. 

They're an unfamiliar Galra, masculine in appearance based on their jaw structure, but I can't really say, as I've never met a female Galra. He has white markings across his face like war paint that accent his mauve skin, with a short, white mo-hawk braided on the top of his head. He has the same golden eyes that all Galra have with the evil, black serpentine pupils, yet I notice that one of his four fangs is missing, the one in the bottom right corner. As soon as I see his eyes, I feel my heart stutter,  _ they’re just like Sendak’s.  _ My grip on my bayard tightens as I immediately race to Shiro’s side but to my shock Shiro’s prosthetic hand drops from beneath the Galra’s jaw and back to his side. I hear running footsteps from behind me as I point my bladed end of my lance towards the Galra, who stands resolutely, staring directly at Shiro without so much as a glance of me. 

I glance to my left to see what made Shiro drop his guard, and I stall when I see his slack-jawed expression. He lets out a slow breath as his eyes widen, and he mutters in absolute shock,  _ "... Ulaz?" _

Suddenly, out of nowhere comes Allura. Her footsteps are fast as she races forward from behind me and shoves the Galra against the wall with a shocking amount of force and a fierce growl,  _ "Who are you?!"  _ She roars like a protective lioness, her eyes aflame as she holds the Galra firmly against the white wall with one hand on his chest, despite him being at least a head taller than her. He's actually got quite a bit of height on all of us, even Shiro.

The Galra does not resist, and he actually doesn't make any expression at all as Shiro quickly steps forward, "Stop! It's him." He says frantically, flickering his gaze back to the Galra as Shiro lets out a breath, "This is the Galra that set me free."

The Galra, Ulaz Shiro called him, slowly peers up from Allura's enraged expression before he turns and meets Shiro's eyes, his expression neutral yet his tone is shocked, "You've come?" 

He has a raspy voice, like he isn't used to speaking. He sounds rather old, actually. But I haven't the faintest idea how to gauge age, gender, really anything in the Galra, so maybe he just has a different intonation.  

Allura frowns deeply before Shiro can say anything further, her eyes never leaving Ulaz’s face, "Are you certain?"

Shiro nods firmly as he fixes his gaze back to Ulaz, "Yes, I'm sure.” 

“If you are here, then… this changes everything.” Ulaz murmurs with wide eyes glued on Shiro. I can’t help but stand closer to Shiro’s side, watching the Galra closely. Even though Ulaz is  _ apparently _ the one who freed Shiro, I’m certain it wasn’t simply because it was the right thing to do. He has to have some ulterior motive, something he wanted to get out of it, and I’m not sure what it could be besides something nefarious. 

“We have  _ many _ questions for you." Allura snarls at the Galra with a surprisingly sharp tone, her hand falling to her side to unpin the Galra from the wall before she taps the inside part of her wrist, summoning the hologram of the computer in her suit. She types in a few clicks with her eyes flickering to Ulaz, who remains with his back pressed against the wall, and after a moment the wall beside him clicks open to reveal a small container. Allura reaches within and draws out two pairs of conjoint, white, metallic circles, I recognize them immediately from our first day of team bonding, the handcuffs that her and Coran used to lock us together at the dining room table. 

She snaps one set onto his wrists and the other on his ankles with metallic clicks. He doesn't move nor react to this, merely watching her with a disinterested gaze, but Shiro immediately frowns as he takes off his helmet, "I don't think that is necessary." He rests his helmet under his arm as Allura snaps on the last of the restraints. 

“I do.” She snarls darkly in response, and I feel a spark of fear in my being, mixed with worry. I’ve never seen her so… angry. So immediately pissed.  _ I don’t blame her. _

Allura presses past Shiro and points to a nearby room, turning with a commanding voice to Ulaz, “We’ll speak further in here.” Her tone is beyond commanding, and we almost stumble over each other to fall in line to enter. Ulaz lifts his head and moves to follow Shiro soundlessly, which is surprising since he must be at least six and a half feet tall; Galra are all typically big boys, Sendak was just as large, as was Haxus, and Ulaz is no exception.

The door opens when Allura presses her fingers to the doorway, and she pointedly watches Ulaz as he strides forward as quietly as a jungle cat, a trail of blue, sparking energy suspended between the Altean cuffs on his ankles. I take up the rear as the others enter the room, gripping my lance tightly at my side as I watch Ulaz with narrowed eyes. 

His eyes… His eyes scare me. They're so similar to Sendak's, Haxus’. I wonder if all Galra have these yellow eyes instead of whites, like humans and Alteans. They certainly make them all the more terrifying. Zarkon has similar eyes, save he doesn’t have any pupils, which makes him look kind of ungodly, like a creature that doesn’t belong on this world.  _ Maybe that was on purpose. Don’t really know how one would go about removing their pupils, but hey, alien tech, fuck if I know what’s possible. _

Inside the room is a simple lounge just like the one outside our hangers, a couch in a round circle with an elevated floor behind it. The Galra has a seat on the far end without invitation, now eye level with Pidge that's how tall he is.  _ Fuck,  _ his eyes are unnerving, but especially with the white marks on his face. He reminds me more and more of a Galra Voldemort. I push to stand between him and the others, the bladed tip of my lance scratching the floor as I watch him like a hawk.  _ One flinch, and I won't hesitate. I won't let another Galra hurt my friends, especially not Shiro. Not after last time.  _

Allura enters the room last, and the others part immediately to allow her past as she stands before Ulaz with a sharp gaze, but before she can speak Shiro fixes her with a hard gaze, his brows furrowed with concern, “Why in here? Why can’t he come to the-“ 

"I will not have some  _ quiznacking Galra _ on the bridge of my ship!" Allura snaps back so immediately that Shiro’s jaw snaps shut, her eyes are pointed and fierce to such an extent that I shiver. I think that's the first time I ever heard her swear. Or, at least, I think quiznack is a swear word, I'm not entirely sure. It's been used like a swear word for certain.

Ulaz speaks in a low volume, the raspiness in his voice vanishing within a few words, "If I wanted to kill you," He murmurs as he meets Allura's enraged gaze, "You'd be dead already."

"Yeah, that's comforting." I growl under my breath, watching Ulaz with a suspicious gaze, but he doesn’t even spare me a single glance, which lowkey pisses me off, not gonna lie. 

Allura's hard tone reflects my own, her hands clenched into fists, "Are your  _ Galra threats _ supposed to win my trust?" She snarls, her eyes dark and suspicious and hurt.

"I'm not trying to win your trust," Ulaz exhales through his flat nose with a tired tone, like he has had this conversation many times before, "I'm trying to win a war." His eyes lift and he gazes past Allura, directly into Shiro's gray eyes with such softness I didn't think was possible for a creature with such hard features, "And because of Shiro, we're closer than we've ever been." Shiro blinks at him in surprise as Ulaz continues, "Our gamble on you has paid off more than we could ever have imagined."  _ We.  _

Shiro's gaze falls to his feet, his eyebrows furrowing in thought as he also seems to pick up on the royal ‘we’ I heard, "When you released me, you also mentioned that there were others working with you."

"Yes," Ulaz replies in a matter of fact tone, and all of a sudden he moves to lean forward. Immediately I tense, holding my lance in a white knuckles grip in preparation to spring to action but he only moves his elbows onto his knees, shifting into a more comfortable position. The movement made Allura tense as well, I can see from the jump in her shoulders, and I feel some semblance of calm that at least I’m not crazy for watching him so closely. Ulaz continues on like he doesn't notice, "We are called the Blade of Marmora."

We're silent for a moment before Hunk speaks up from behind me with an anxious tone, "Uh, others?" He peers around the room as if they're lurking in the shadows with wide, calf-brown eyes, "Are they here?"

Lance sighs at Hunk with his arms crossed on my right, "Hunk, can you  _ try _ not to act so scared in front of our chained-up prisoner? It makes us seem a little lame."

Ulaz doesn't seem to care as he answers in a helpful manner, "I am alone on this base." 

_ Base. He's not talking about the Castle.  _

"What's this base you're talking about?" Allura asks in an incredulous tone, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, "Shiro's coordinates just led us to this wasteland!"

"The base is hidden." Ulaz answers as if this were obvious, his masked serpentine eyes meeting hers evenly, "Now that I know it is Shiro who has come, you are welcome to our outpost. It lies dead ahead of your ship."

Pidge raises an eyebrow from beside me, and I glance over at her as she pipes up in an inquisitive tone, "Behind all the xanthorium clusters?"

"No." Ulaz answers with a deft shake of his head, "Right in front of it, in a hidden pocket of space-time."  _ Space time?  _

"You're joking right?” I can’t help the derisive tone that melts into my voice, “This isn't science fiction. You don't really expect us to believe that, do you?" 

I narrow my eyes at Ulaz, and I can't help the full body shiver that racks my body when his eyes lock onto mine for the first time.  _ They're so... inexpressive. Almost lifeless. But they don't look cold, or cruel, they’re just… empty. I’m not sure if that’s worse.   _

"It's very real. Folding this reality's perspective into itself is like folding a paper into halves." Ulaz answers with a matter in fact tone, and I can't help but curl my lip. It's the next closest thing I can do to hide how _ grating  _ his voice is.

Allura huffs and touches one of the jewels in her pointed ears, "Coran, are you hearing this?" She sounds very much like she wanted to end that sentence with  _ bullshit. _

“I  _ am _ picking up some kind of anomaly on the screen…” Coran answers after a moment’s pause through our coms, and it startles me a little as it's right in my ear. My head shudders at the loud noise so I take off my helmet and hold it underneath my arm instead, allowing my bayard to disappear back into my suit again.  _ No point having it out. If Ulaz were to act I’d have enough time to summon it again, and it’s obviously not intimidating him.  _

I can still hear Coran continuing to speak through the com in my helmet, but I'm unable to catch his words as I run a hand through my hair with a deep breath. _  I'm not sure why, but I don't feel right. I feel kind of sick to my stomach, like just before I take a test. It's anxiety, worming through my chest. Or maybe it was just something I ate. It doesn't help that this… Galra's presence makes me want to jump ship, hide, scream, and kick him in the face all at once.  _

"Just fly straight for the center of the xanthorium cluster." Ulaz states in a confident tone, "You'll see."

Allura scoffs, her eyebrows knit together, "You think that you're going to get me to destroy our ship just because you say so?"

Shiro frowns slightly as he turns towards us as a collective, "We came out here to find some answers." He murmurs gently to Allura as she turns to face him, his expression is kind yet firm, "Are we going to turn back now?"

I can hear Keith frowning from next to Lance, "You know I trust you, Shiro… but this doesn't feel right."

Lance huffs as he gestures with his head towards Keith on his right, "And you know I hate to agree with Keith, but it's a big fat ditto for me."

"The Galra could've implanted fake memories of your escape in your head." Pidge weighs in with a raised eyebrow, the light reflecting off her round glasses.

Hunk replies incredulously, "Oh come on, that would be so evil!" He pauses, as if to reflect on this, “Which, of course, they are, but they would have to come up with some molecular level storage unit which…” He pauses again as his eyes widen a little, “... which his hand does have… but to be linked up to the memory part of his brain it would need a direct pathway to it which…” He pauses as he looks again at Shiro's arm with wider eyes, “Well… yeah… maybe…?”

I frown, glancing at Ulaz before shifting my eyes to the top of my helmet, grilling holes into the top with my gaze.  _ As much as I hate to admit it… _ I let out a sigh, "Why would he tell us to destroy ourselves while he's on the ship with us? Seems like an incredibly intricate plan to kill us with a suicide mission."

Allura glances at me with a dark look, "The Galra have no regard for life, even their own. Don't you remember how Sendak-"

Shiro cuts her off as a chill tightens around my heart, "Ulaz freed me." He states firmly, his jaw set as he turns to look at each of us in turn, "Without him, none of us would be here: we never would've found the Blue Lion, and we would never have been able to form Voltron and start this battle against Zarkon.” He flickers his gaze back over to Allura with a softer gaze, his eyebrows drawn together in an expression I can’t quite read, “We can trust him." 

_ That’s a little strong for me, but… I do trust that he isn’t going to kill us this way, at least.  _ All is quiet as we regard Allura and Shiro's staring competition. We can argue with Shiro all day long, but the only one with any power or sway in what gets done is her, and she also has the strongest opinion about our… Galra guest. 

Allura's eyes slowly close, and I see her taking a soft breath before she spits, "Fine." She touches her jewel in her ear as she speaks in a gentler tone, "Slow and steady, Coran… Head for the xanthorium cluster."

There's a pause, and the com system in the Castle is what speaks this time with Coran’s voice from the bridge, "Yes, Princess, approaching cluster."

The Castle tremors a little as it begins to move. We glance at one another in worry as Coran states in a nervous, yet muted tone, “Impact imminent. In five… four… three… two…” We all hold our breath.

Coran audibly blinks, "Well, that's something."

Allura frowns, "What is it?"

"Putting it up on the screens now." Coran answers, and within the second a holographic screen pops up on the side of the room, illustrating the video feed out of the bridge of the Castle. My breath is stolen.

It appears that we're progressing down a colorful tunnel. It reminds me of the same, wispy tunnel that we pass through during wormholes, but this one isn't just azure. It’s painted with every single color imaginable, swirling in a long tunnel with immeasurable beauty, like painting the breeze with star dust in a wind tunnel.

"Amazing," Pidge murmurs with wide, stunned eyes, "They're folding space!"

Hunk smiles to himself dreamily, "It's like… a space taco! Or a space calzone." He smiles even brighter as he no doubt imagines the food in his mind's eye, "Or a spacetime soup dumpling, and we're the soup!" He blinks over at Ulaz, who watches the screen with a mute expression, "Hey, is there a cafeteria on this thing?"

"It's beautiful." I murmur under my breath, holding to prop my helmet against my chest with my arms resting over them in a more comfortable manner, “How is this even possible?”

Suddenly, with a brilliant flash the tunnel fades, and as we exit the space time flux we're confronted with what appears to be a Galra station. It has the same black material and purple accents that all Galra have, save for the fact that the purple color is a much darker violet than the neon purple/lilac that Zarkon’s ships have. The area surrounding us, the space around the station seems… it’s kind of like if those galaxy background photos that are the default background on PCs were melted into water, and the station floating in its center like an ice cube. It's breathtakingly beautiful. "Wow." I murmur, “That’s  _ cool _ .”

Ulaz’s expressionless voice snaps me back to the present, "Welcome to the Blade of Marmora Communications Base: Thaldycon." I finally break my gaze from the screen to peer at Ulaz over my shoulder but along the way I accidentally meet Keith's, he’s moved for a better view of the hologram to stand just behind me except he isn’t looking at the hologram. Keith’s staring directly at me with an expression I can’t read for the life of me, a look that he’s given me in the past but have no clue what it means.  _ Has he been staring at me this whole time? I must look like an idiot for gawking like that.  _

I fight down the blush that crawls up my cheeks as Ulaz suddenly stands from his seat on the couch, immediately I rip my gaze away from Keith's as Ulaz speaks, "Now, if you'll free me, I need to send a message to the leadership. They need to know that I've made contact with Voltron."

I turn and face him with a hard look; Allura frowns deeply at this, and Shiro looks at her with a gaze that reminds me of kids at a pet store begging for a puppy. She turns to him, meeting his gaze with a stern look before she sighs, "Go with him, and keep an eye on him. I'm staying here."

"Oh, can we go?" Hunk gasps with raised eyebrows, and Pidge immediately jumps up in excitement, "I wanna see how they make the space pocket!" She cries with a wide grin and starry eyes.

"You guys go ahead," Lance purrs in a suave manner as he moves to stand beside Allura, "I'll hang back and protect the Princess." Allura gives him the most done expression of all done expressions before she slowly turns to Ulaz, flickering her gaze to his wrists. “Try anything,” She growls, “And we won’t hesitate.” 

Ulaz merely peers down at Allura’s dark gaze without any movement or change in expression, it makes me wonder if he finds her at all intimidating. She steps forward and taps the cuffs on his wrists; they snap off and fall to the floor, Ulaz rolls his wrists experimentally. We stand in tense silent for several seconds but Ulaz doesn’t move, he doesn’t even seem to be breathing. Allura stalks out of the room without turning her back on Ulaz, and once she reaches the doorway she turns on heel to return to the bridge. Behind me, Lance flickers his gaze to Ulaz and to the door where Allura disappeared with a wide eyed look, but it doesn’t appear to be one of shock, rather his blue eyes glint in worry. He trails after her with soft, irregular thunks of his boots on the floor.

Keith turns to Shiro with a determined look once Allura leaves the room, "Let's take my lion, she can get us there the fastest."

Shiro shrugs, "Sounds fine. Let's head out." 

Keith takes the lead as we file out together. We head for the Red Lion's hanger with Ulaz between us, comically large especially as he stands next to Pidge, who immediately begins to interrogate him about the space time folding tunnel.  _ She doesn’t seem to be at all afraid of him.  _ I kind of want to listen, but I'm too distracted, fading in and out of focus as I find my hands worming into my suit and pulling the White Lion's stone out to twirl between my fingertips. This worming feeling in my stomach just keeps getting worse, and I truly start to wonder if I just had too much green goo for breakfast this morning. I focus instead on the stone in my hand to distract me from it, the rough edges of Kevin’s wings scratching my skin beneath my gloves and keeping me to the present. 

"Whoa, wh-" I nearly jump out of my skin as Hunk's voice comes right in my ear, and I drop the stone back to hanging around my neck as I touch my chest, "Jesus Christ, Hunk, you scared me!"

Hunk smiles apologetically, "Oops, sorry! Where’d you get that?" He asks, reaching out and poking at the stone on my chest.

I shrug, looking down at it thoughtfully, "The White Lion gave it to me after I got her off the moon.” I tap Kevin’s hardened wing, “That’s Kevin.”

Hunk breaks into a cheesy grin and giggles, "Oh, _ that's _ Kevin. You know, when you mentioned you had a dragon once, I wasn't really sure what you meant, but I get it now." He flashes a finger gun at me and for the first time in what feels like awhile I find myself cracking a smile.

"Yeah, I'm not really sure what this thing is. The White Lion gave it to me, and it does some weird stuff sometimes." I answer, switching my helmet to hold under my other arm as Hunk taps his chin in thought with his forefinger.

"Oh, you know, Pidge and I can check it out.” He offers helpfully, shrugging before he smiles sheepishly, “Well, you know, after this. We can look at its composition, energy signature, and all that stuff to try and figure it out." 

I look at him with a slight smile, "That'd be great. Some answers would be… really great right about now. Thanks, Hunk."

Hunk shrugs with another brilliant grin as we arrive to the Red Lion's hanger, "Yeah, no problem."

As we approach the Red Lion's scarlet barrier falls with a soft hum. I don’t spare it a second glance, but I nearly run smack into Ulaz as he freezes up. I blink at him incredulously as the Red Lion moves, kneeling down and opening her jaws to allow us inside with Keith at the front, and only once Keith steps aboard does Ulaz continues walking. His expression is unchanging as his gaze flickers to each of us with… something. I haven’t any idea how to read Galra facial cues. 

_ Oh, right, giant mechanical sentient lions aren't really a thing anywhere else but on this ship. Forgot about that. Maybe he’s just a tad bit put off. _

I follow the others up the stairs that lead into the pilot’s chamber, and I marvel at the deep hues of crimson and red that embroider the dark walls, casting a deep glow, like a flashlight shining through wine.  _ I’ve been in all of the lions by now save for the Black and the Yellow Lions. Cool.  _ Keith sits in the pilot's seat and we gather around him as the Red Lion's controls roar to life. I grasp onto the far right side of the seat, and I internally swear as my hand brushes Keith's arm. He glances up at me and I find myself hyper-focusing out the Red Lion's eyes as I quickly let go, grab onto the control panel on my right instead of his seat. It isn't as strong of a hold, but  _ God fucking damnit it’s still too soon for me to look Keith in the eye, what the fuck is wrong with me. _ Keith turns back to the controls and presses the Red Lion forward at a speed I wasn't ready for, and I nearly tumble back as we shoot out of the hanger.

The Galra station is a strange shape. It reminds me of the head of an axe, with a central piece as the pommel and pieces that fan out as the blades around it. At the crux of the axe is some sort of machine, about the size of a lion’s cockpit. It hums with energy that I can feel from here with a brilliant dark violet, almost black light in the middle that arcs outwards with snaps of lightning every few seconds and striking at nearby metal, but it doesn't appear to mar its structure. 

Ulaz breaks my thoughts as he points to the origin of the zapping light, "This is the gravity generator that creates the space time fold that hides the station. It was created by a reclusive, genius engineer named Slav." I narrow my eyes as the Red Lion draws closer to the station, Ulaz continuing in a matter in fact tone, "His technology has allowed the Blade of Marmora to remain hidden while we work to take down the Galra Empire.” Ulaz pauses for a moment, before his informative tone morphs into something completely different, something I can’t place, “Zarkon would do anything to get his hands on this technology." I glance over at him to see the shadow pass over his visage. It sends a terrified jolt through my blood.

Keith takes a breath, his gaze not breaking from the space station, "So, there's Galra out there that aren't loyal to Zarkon?"

Ulaz frowns beside me as he peers over the back of Keith's seat out of the Red Lion's gaze, "We thought that expanding the Galra Empire would bring stability." His nose curls in disgust as his eyes seem far away, "We learned too late that a tyrant does not seek stability, only power."

He points to a seam in the side of the base, underneath the gravity generator, before any of us have any opportunity to ask further questions, "Bring your lion in there." He taps something on his inner forearm, and as we approach the seams part into a doorway just big enough for the Red Lion.  _ Convenient.  _

Keith brings her in slowly, the thrusters in her paws causing the structure to rattle but after a release of air the doors shut behind us and Keith sets her down. Ulaz turns and strides down the stairs back hence we came as the Red Lion kneels to allow us to exit, and we follow after quickly.

Ulaz begins to speak with surprising excitement as he walks, and we all struggle to keep up with him and his long legs as he turns into a hallway just out of the hanger, "With our members on the inside and planning coordinated attacks with Voltron, we may finally have a chance at ending the Empire!" He smiles a fanged grin, and despite the joy he expresses it puts me ill at ease. The last time I saw that smile, it was while Sendak was torturing Shiro. 

I find my gaze flickering over to him as he silently following Ulaz with a gaze like that of an excited child but every time I blink I see his exact same face twisted, screaming in pain. I close my eyes, and I dig my fingernails in my right hand into the scar on my palm. Despite the muted feeling from doing so between the layers of my gloves, the dull pain beneath returns me to myself as I internally swear,  _ No. Don't think of Sendak. Don't think of him. Be present. You're here, you're safe, Shiro's safe. We're safe.  _

Ulaz strides through a set of double doors that swing open as he approaches, revealing what I can only imagine is the bridge of the base. There's a massive window on the far side looking out over the swimming space around us and a holographic panel resting in front of it with glass encompassing the entire room, like the bridge back at the Castle. With the purple, starry space time around us, it feels like we're in an planetarium or astrarium. Ulaz strides up to the holographic panel with long steps, tapping it with a clawed finger and bringing the hologram to life. An image appears on the screen, and I immediately recognize Zarkon's main vessel, the massive X shape an immediate give-away with another image beside it of the star system his vessel lies within.

He begins to type commands, several more images flashing by as Hunk speaks up from where he stands by the hologram, "So, you have agents working in Zarkon's ranks?"

Ulaz looks up with an unreadable expression, but his tone is sharp and accusatory, "How do you think you got away from Zarkon in that last fight? Do you think that those shields around Zarkon's command center went down on their own?” He turns to face Hunk with a hard gaze, "We've got people risking their lives in this war, just like you." His gaze turns to mine and it shoots to my core as I realize the hard edge to his tone is directed at me. I find myself unable to meet his gaze, and instead I look down at my gloved hands. 

_ I had wondered how we came across that amazing stroke of luck. If it hadn't fallen…  _

_ I can’t believe we have a Galra to thank for that. _

_ A Galra on the inside took down the barrier for us. They're the reason we all survived, and who knows if they were able to do so without being caught.  _

_ Perhaps… Maybe the Galra aren't all monsters, like Sendak. Maybe the ones who don’t serve Zarkon are more human. Err, humane, since they’re Galra. Maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to distrust them? _

Pidge suddenly pipes up with a determined look, "If you have people on the inside, can they tell me where my family is? They were taken at the same time Shiro was." I blink and turn to Ulaz as he narrows his eyes at Pidge, as if trying to recall the event as his serpentine pupils gaze off to the side.

"I remember, there are several prisoners that appear as you do. Home planet called Earth, yes?” We all nod wordlessly as Ulaz continues in a matter of fact tone, “I never saw them… But I do have some records of Galra prisoners here. I can transmit them to your ship." He states helpfully as he turns back to his hologram and typing away once more, with more hurry this time as Pidge nearly jumps out of her suit to stand next to him and watch what he does.

_ I can't even imagine what she's going through. At least I know my family is back on Earth, but her? She must be wondering if her family is still alive. That's awful… Ah, Pidge. With all that's going on, I'd all but forgotten… But she hasn't. Obviously, how could she? She's still been searching for them, all this time. That’s what she was doing yesterday when I was eating in the White Lion. I never wondered why I never really saw Pidge outside of when we were training together, but it’s not like it’s an excuse. I’d do the same in her position. _

"What's that weapon you carry?" Keith's voice is small, almost vulnerable, and it immediately snaps me out of my thoughts. I blink and look over at him with a raised eyebrow. He's never sounded that way before, with a stranger. His eyes are glimmering in the light and his eyebrows are upturned, almost confused and bereft at once. 

I narrow my eyes at him. Ulaz unsheathes the weapon once he presses a button on the hologram, an uploading screen popping up as he holds out the black sword, "It's a ceremonial blade that each member of our order carries." It’s a dark onyx metal from pommel to its curved tip, the sharp edge a dark gray like a stormy sky with that strange purple room at the base just above the hilt, it looks to be burned into the metal and shines with a light that I can’t identify. 

I flicker my gaze from the weapon to Keith's expression, which is carefully shrouded as he replies in a laid back tone, "Hmm. Nice."

_ That sounds suspiciously lackadaisical, especially since his voice was just so… soft before. I've never heard him sound that way before, the closest thing I've ever heard is when he talks to Shiro, but it’s… not. Something here isn't adding up. _

Suddenly, the nauseous feeling wells up in me like a wave of biting bile throughout my veins. I blink as I take a shaky breath, looking down at my palm as I feel something, like a tremor, deep in my core from the worrying feeling. It's like the anxious knot that was building in my stomach blossomed into a full blown tree, its roots spreading through my arms and filling me with apprehension, my hands are shaking so hard they don’t even look like they’re mine.  _ This is a familiar feeling, I’ve definitely experienced this before, but it’s stronger than any bad feeling I’ve experienced. _

Shiro glances over at me when he sees my movement and turns to me fully when he sees my hand shaking, "Will, are you okay?"

I feel my breath shorten, tensing up and for some reason adrenaline kicks in, my flight or fight response triggering.  _ Something’s coming. It’s that sense of impending doom. I know this feeling. _ I meet Shiro's gaze, "Something's coming-"

Hunk immediately groans loudly, interrupting me with an annoyed, high pitched tone, "Will,  _ you better not say- _ "

Suddenly, the walls of the bridge flash red with an angry blaring noise, and we all tense and turn to the hologram as a new image flashes, replacing the uploading files that Ulaz was transferring to the ship. This holographic image is of the xanthorium cluster surrounding the base. At first I see nothing amiss, but then, in the distance, I see a boxy piece of Galra tech with the onyxian metal, red and purple racing along its sides. As it gets closer I see that its shape is very much like a coffin.  _ Oh.  _ **_Fuck._ **

_ Another one of those bastards. _

"No!" Ulaz gasps, his hands freezing on the hologram as he whirls on us with wide eyes, a gaze that’s less accusatory rather than full of fear, "You were tracked!"

Pidge blinks with wide eyes, "What? Us?"

Hunk growls in annoyance under his breath, "Will, I really  _ really _ hate it when you're right."

Keith growls as he narrows his eyes at Ulaz, "If Zarkon knows we're here, it's because _  you _  ratted us out."

I snap my fingers and summon my bayard without a second thought, sticking the bladed end towards Ulaz with a bared teeth snarl, "You're the only one who knows we're here. It must have been you!" 

The hologram flashes and we all freeze in place to watch what happens next. The coffin breaks apart in its usual manner and another, brand new Galra monster appears. It's got a huge face, like Julio Gonzalez in that old movie Sharkboy and Lavagirl, a remake from some similar movie in the 2000s. The monster has no legs, instead one massive turbine like a skirt beneath its face, flanked by two large arms with hands like the claws in those claw machines that always seem rigged. In the middle of the beast's massive face, that seems to be its entire body, are two golden eyes that glare out with black markings over them, like a bushy brow. Within its massive maw are massive fanged teeth, about the size of lamp posts. It looks very much like a Galra, actually, unlike the last two beasts that Zarkon has sent.  _ They're all so varied and different... The only reason I know they're Galra in origin is because of that box they all come in. What  _ **_are_ ** _ these things?   _

"It's another one of Zarkon's robot… beast… ro-beasts!" Hunk cries with an anxious noise, his hand grasping at the ends of his hair as the beast seems to come to a stop on the outside of the xanthorium cluster, like it’s peering within. 

_ I can practically feel its gaze, searching for us, searching for…  _

_ Searching for me.  _ I feel my grip on my bayard loosen, and it suddenly clamors to the ground as my hands slip. I can't stop shaking, and I feel a tremor within my heart as my eyes fly wide.  _ There’s no way, but… can’t it? Why else would I be able to feel it when they come? _

"We have to get back to the ship!" Shiro states with determination. I reign in my wild apprehension and snap my fingers, releasing my bayard back into my suit. We whirl to return to the Red Lion, but before we move too far Ulaz barks, "Shiro! Wait!" 

We pause as Ulaz rattles in rapid succession, grasping a piece of Galra technology about the size of a phone that he holds out to Shiro, "These are instructions on how to reach the Blade of Marmora's headquarters.” He takes a quick breath, one so fast that I’d be concerned he’s hyperventilating as Ulaz continues just as rapidly, “Before you go there, find out how Zarkon is tracking you." His voice is raw as he clasps Shiro's hand over the device, his golden-yellow eyes flown wide. I've never seen a person's expression be more desperate than his in that moment as he pleas, "If you lead him there, our entire underground network,  _ everything _  we've spent  _ centuries _ building, will be lost."

Shiro nods in understanding, clasping his hand over the instructions with gentle reverence before he turns to us with a jut of his chin towards the door. We quickly whirl and sprint out of the bridge, but I find myself hesitating at the door. I glance back at Ulaz. He's destroying the files on the ship, I can see the deletion sequence, and his ears are flat against the sides of his skull. 

_ He wouldn't have been so desperate if he ratted us out.  _

"Ulaz?" I murmur, and I see his hand hesitate as his golden eyes flickers back to meet mine. My blood ices over at the glance but I press on, "It wasn't you, was it?"

"Will!" I hear Shiro barking from behind me. I see Ulaz's eyes flicker for a moment before he turns his back to me. 

_ I guess I don’t know what I expected.  _

I turn to leave to follow the others, but just as I walk out I barely hear him, speaking softly under his breath, "... Never." 

I hesitate, glancing back once more, but he’s motionless before the computer of the ship, destroying files.  _ Maybe I’m imagining things. _

I turn on heel and sprint back to the Red Lion to get back to the ship. No sooner do I walk into Red Lion's maw does Keith launch us out of the base and back towards the Castle, I nearly fall out of her mouth as I stumble into the corridor in her throat. The doors snap shut, and I race up the stairs to rejoin the others once I regain my footing. 

Allura’s voice startles me over the com as she growls, "I  _ knew _ he could not be trusted!" As I walk into the piloting cabin, her image hovers on the right side of the cabin. She's standing in the bridge and typing away at her holographic keyboard in preparation for the Castle to fuck off, I suppose, and the others don't look up at me as I enter, facing Allura with rapt attention. 

Shiro shakes his head, "It wasn't him."

Allura growls in response, shooting Shiro a glare that I can feel through the hologram, "How can you be sure?"

Coran interrupts her over the com, "It doesn't matter now! What should we do?"

"Why can't we hide in here in the space clam until it goes away?" Hunk asks with a hopeful gaze at Shiro.

He seems to have already made up his mind, however. Shiro's voice echoes commandingly over the com, probably so Lance can hear, "Everybody get to your lions, but don't launch." He peers ahead as we approach the Castle of Lions, Keith’s slowly bringing the Red Lion in as Shiro frowns with a determined look, "We'll wait and see what this thing does… I don't wanna risk fighting it if we don't have to."

Hunk lets out a noise of relief through his nose as Keith lands the Red Lion in his hanger. Pidge nods in agreement as we race down the stairs, her eyes glinting maroon in the dark red hues of the hall, "We should be safe so long as we're hidden in the space pocket!" 

We split in our different directions, leaving Keith behind in his lion. I head towards my hanger next door, the door opening with a jolt. 

The White Lion’s barrier is activated, which is strange, as she doesn’t usually erect it while we’re within the Castle. As I approach the White Lion, I suddenly feel a bout of hesitation, my steps stall.

_The last time we flew together, she wouldn't listen to me. She actually shut down, wouldn't follow my commands, and did her own thing. What if she does that this time?_ _What if I put the team in jeopardy because my lion no longer respects me?_

_ What if she doesn't want me as her paladin anymore? _

I stare up at her barrier, frozen on my tracks as I stand before it. Her eyes are dark, like she's asleep, but I can feel her presence around me like a cool mist. I slowly hold out a hand, resting it against her barrier. It doesn't lower like it usually does.

"Hey… I'm sorry, about before." I murmur softly to her, resting my hand gently against her barrier as it thrums with energy, "We didn't do so hot, against Zarkon." She doesn't speak, not like I'm expecting her to, but her barrier still doesn't fall. 

I hang my head, my helmet pressing against the barrier as I close my eyes, desperation melting into my voice, "I know how you feel. I felt your anger, your hatred… still do." I hesitate as I feel her anger flicker out just at the mere mention, like sparks against the barrier that cause my eyes to fly open at the jolt. I look up at her with a more desperate expression, she hasn’t moved and neither has her barrier. I let out a sigh, "But… we can't let our feelings get the best of us, to distract us from our true mission. We have to protect the team… our friends. That's all you really want at the end of the day, right? But I can only protect them with your help." 

The silence is permeating, and I bite my lip, running my fingertips along her barrier as I let out a soft sigh, "Come on, let me in.”

After a few solid seconds of silence, the White Lion's yellow gaze suddenly spark to life and I’m rocked with a deep purr through my being, seeming to bore into my soul. With a sound like power getting cut off, her barrier falls, and I start in surprise as she opens her jaws to allow me inside. I let out a pent up breath and head up the stairs, but not after murmuring under my breath, _ "Thank fucking God." _

Shiro comes over the com as I ascend the stairs, "Will, you good?" 

I blink in confusion, glancing over to the side at my suit's computer as to why he would think otherwise… That's when I realize that my com was engaged. The whole time.  _ Fuck. _

"Ah, yeah, sorry, was just giving my lion a pep talk." I mumble in embarrassment, swallowing my pride a little as I made sure to  _ disengage _ the com this time when I’m finished talking. 

I slide into my seat and await anxiously for a sign on what to do next. Silver's controls rise to meet me as I sit, not in the usual snappy manner that she usually does, and as I touch her controls I feel her presence surround me. She's warm, comforting… apologetic. I feel her concern and embarrassment like it's my own.  _ Man I fucking feel you, neither of us have been acting in a way that isn’t embarrassing recently.  _ I caress her controls with a soft coo, "It's alright, I understand. How you feel is entirely understandable and valid. We're gonna get through this, together, okay?" This seems to please her immensely, her pride swelling in my chest and her purr shaking my being like a bobblehead on a soundboard. 

"It's drawing in the xanthorium clusters!" Coran cries out suddenly, interrupting my sappy thoughts with a disbelieving tone over the com. This causes me to snap out of myself, and I frown in anxiety,  _ I wish I could see what’s going on. _

The inside of my cabin is eerily quiet. I feel a pulse within my lion and I, so I press my palms onto her controls to hone in on the feeling. But… it’s not in my lion. I realize that the purr I feel... It's not just in my head. It's real. My chest is buzzing, pulsing, like a second heartbeat, and I hear a thrumming noise from my chest, like my phone on vibrate. I blink, and peer down to find the source is the White Lion's stone hanging around my neck, glowing, shining like a star. It pulses like a heartbeat, and I feel it spread through my blood with each thump like wildfire. 

_ What the fresh fuck.  _

_ Well, I don't think I've ever worn it while piloting for a long while, if at all… wonder what that’s supposed to mean. _

"Direct hit to the pocket!" Coran suddenly barks over the com with a tone of high anxiety, "It definitely knows we're here!" 

Allura lets out a pent up breath over the com, "Get the particle barrier up!" I feel a soft hum in my cabin, and I frantically look around my cabin for something, anything, to get a holographic feed of the bridge so I can see what’s happening.  _ I still don’t know what half of these buttons do.  _ Coran cries, "It's preparing for another attack!"

I feel the Castle groan, and I get a feeling of vertigo, immediately sending nausea spiraling down into my stomach. I blink and shake my head, but the tumbling feeling only gets worse. That's when I realize it's not vertigo; the Castle itself is moving, and not naturally.

Allura confirms my suspicions, "It's pulling us in as well! Paladins, I think it's time to launch!"

I slam my hanger remote without a second thought, and the doors snap open with a roar of the air getting sucked out into empty space. I immediately race out, the particle barrier of the Castle swimming in front of me as Shiro cries, "Alright team, form Voltron!"

I feel the pull of the other lions, familiar and integral as we drag together. I close my eyes and press my palm to the controls, and I feel someone gasp over the com. Maybe Lance?

I open my eyes, Voltron formed within the space pocket. In the swimming space I see a dark violet wall, the outer edge of the space pocket I suppose, with a blood red light blazing behind it at periodic intervals.  _ The ro-beast’s fire. Oh man, let’s see what weird abilities this fucker has.  _ With surprise on our side, we press forward as a unit and break out of the space pocket.

The Galra monster's massive, mechanical mouth is wide open with its jaw unhinged, a massive barrel-shaped cannon in its mouth like the lasers within the mouths of our lions, except this one is as big as one of our lions. It appears ready to fire another blast on the pocket, but as we burst from the space I help to twist Voltron about, punching it square in the face with a mighty slam and a pleased purr from the Green Lion. The ro-beast reels backward as a massive red beam blasts into the air just over our heads from its mouth, the sheer force of it rattling me in my cabin as Allura gasps over the com, "We're exposed! The space fold is gone!" Luckily, the creature falling backward through space caused the beam to miss the Castle, sending the fiery power beam hurtling through empty space. Over my shoulder I can see the Blade of Marmora’s base, hovering in space between xanthorium clusters with the Castle just in front of it. 

The monster's skirted thruster at its base pulses as it attempts to right itself, and we lash forward with curled fists to deal several successive punches, pushing it back and away from the Castle. 

I hear Coran murmur vaguely, "Well, there goes Ulaz." 

Immediately after, Allura growls under her breath, "I knew we should never trust a Galra." I glance out of my lion's eyes and see a small, purple, Galra ship flying off into the distance, away from the cluster. At the front is that weird sparky thing, the gravitational generator that makes the pocket. 

"Let's light this thing up." Shiro's commanding voice doesn’t give me any time to process much else but the fight before me, "Fire lasers!" I twist Voltron to bring the Green Lion about, then the Red, firing successive shots like Voltron’s a double-barrel wielding cowboy that send the monster reeling into space, but the blasts don't seem to have any effect on the integrity of the armor.  _ Of course not.  _

_ We just have to find its thing, its weakness, like with the first and second. The first’s was the recharge after three strikes, the second was to aim for the eyes…  _

The monster opens its massive mouth which begins to cast a massive, neon purple light in a cone before it. Nearby xanthorium crystals suddenly move, getting sucked by a tractor beam inside with a buzzing noise, like a wood chipper. 

Pidge cries out with a gasp, "He's taking in more ammo!" The monster turns to us with the purple light cone between its teeth fading into a bloody crimson, like blood dripping from its teeth. 

Shiro snaps,  _ "Move, move, move!" _

Engaging Voltron's thrusters in junction with Hunk and Lance, we barely avoid the massive blast as it comes hurtling past us, striking the crystals beyond and causing them to explode so violently that they cause the nearest crystals to do the same in an outward halo effect. The explosions are like those little poppers from joke shops, but about ten times louder and more violent, basically a grenade save with the sudden explosive power of a popper. Being even remotely close to one when it explodes causes Voltron’s entire body to feel the blowback. All in all, it makes our evasive maneuvers much, much more difficult than before. 

We double back as the red beam that trailed us through space fades, turning to face the monster whose massive maw remains wide open as it approaches us from behind, the wispy red flame dying from its jaws and replaced by the bright purple light. I feel the monster’s tractor beam-like jaws tug as the light casts upon us, like we’re lassoed and being pulled towards it. Voltron groans as we're unwillingly yanked; Shiro cries, "Lance, Hunk, Will, give me full reverse boosters!" 

I immediately flip the switches for the thrusters in Voltron's back as Lance and Hunk engage the thrusters in Voltron's feet to fight the pull, but despite giving it everything we’ve got we aren't able to break away entirely, we merely are able to slow the monster's drag. Xanthorium clusters whiz by, I swivel to look behind us, and alter one of the thrusters to twitch Voltron out of the way when one cluster comes incredibly close _ because oh right, they're explosive. _

"This thing wants to eat us like a space taco!" Hunk cries as we grow closer and closer to the space-sucking maw of the Galra beast, and before we know it we're on top of it. Lance and Hunk brace their lions of Voltron's feet on either side of the monster's mouth, the metal of our lions groaning in strain. With a flash the beast's claw-like hands grab onto the Red and Green Lions, Voltron’s wrists, to keep us from escaping. I engage our thrusters to their fullest extent, but it seems to be having no effect on pulling us away, only delaying the draw. Shiro growls between clenched teeth, "Can't… get free!"

The Red Lion suddenly purrs, Keith responding but a second later, "I'll make him back off."

There's a flash of blue light in the mouth of the Red Lion as she purrs and a small crimson dagger, about as big as one of my lion's legs outside of Voltron, snaps open like a switchblade. I squirm Voltron to shift closer to the beast to get Keith within range and he immediately shanks the monster right in one of its yellow eyes with a twist of our arm. It wails with a mechanical moan, like a dying, robotic sheep, and releases us. We take the opportunity to fly away to get some distance between us, the eye that Keith stabbed now flickering and dying out.  _ Nice, but I don’t think that’ll stop it from trying to vore us. _

"We gotta keep distance between us and the ro-beast!" Shiro exclaims as the monster seems to recover from the blow, turning back towards us with bared teeth the size of small cars.  _ Where do these monsters keep coming from? Why are they all so varied and different each time? From a race where all of their technology has the same black and purple aesthetic, I didn't expect them to have weapons of this much variety! _

The beast follows us as we weave through the volatile xanthorium clusters, opening its maw wide and shooting periodic, short burst red blasts like shotgun shells. I roll us out of the way of each, but the blasts that don’t launch into empty space instead strike the nearby xanthorium clusters, which shake my entire cabin. One shot strikes a large cluster we barely skirt past, and it sends us hurtling off course, a dull ache reverberates through my being like I just got hit with a suitcase. I check on my holographic screen, and I see that overall the xanthorium clusters have done a bigger number on us than the beast has to our overall integrity in our armor. We haven’t sustained major damage based on the holographic image of Voltron on my left, but several parts, the shoulders, the back, are scraped up from the xanthorium.  _ Why isn’t this damage transfering to me? _

As we break the smoke of the fragmented crystals, I feel Voltron being dragged backwards, a cast of purple light engulfing us like rushing water. Hunk groans, "It's trying to pull us in again!" 

I engage the thrusters on Voltron's back, twisting us to face towards the pull and away from the force. I hear Lance's strained voice over the com, "I'm burning thrusters at full capacity but it's not making any difference!"

Suddenly a massive blue blast crashes into the monster and sends it flying into empty space. I let out a sigh of relief as the Castle of Lions comes into view to our left, and we fall back to the right now that we’re in the clear. Allura cries over the com in worry, "Is everyone alright?"

"Alive? Yes. Alright? No." Lance answers helpfully, with a drawn out breath over the com. I take a breath and turn Voltron about in search for the beast and as I turn I see it's mouth is wide open once more merely a few leagues away, sucking in crystals and space debris alike, but instead of facing us it is now facing the Castle of Lions.  _ It's not succeeding in sucking us in, so it's going for the Castle instead. Goddamnit! _

"It's going for the Castle!" Keith calls as soon as I draw to the same conclusion.

Pidge lets out a growl of frustration, "We have to find some way to stop its tractor beam!"

"I've got an idea!" Shiro cries with a determined tone, "Pidge, form shield!" I feel the red metal jutting from Voltron's back extend with an electric current to the Green Lion, forming our shield with a thundering clap. I engage Voltron's thrusters and charge us forward as Shiro elaborates with a commanding tone, "We can use the shield to block the beam!"

We fly up to the ro-beast and as it turns towards us with an open maw, ready to draw us in, but before it gets the opportunity Pidge wedges the shield between the monster's wide open jaws. It makes a choking noise like a mechanical cough, and I twist us about to bring Keith back and punch it straight in the face. It goes spiraling backwards into space, its arms waving in a floundering manner as the shield holds the ro-beast’s mouth wide open, no light crimson or otherwise emanating from it. Letting out a heavy breath, Keith murmurs, "Okay, we stopped the beam, now what?"

Shiro barks in command, "Now we go on the offensive!" 

Pidge gasps suddenly as the monster's hands wiggle in the air like worms on concrete, "The xanthorium clusters, we can use them!"

I curl my lip as we press forward and collide into the shield, using it as a hold on the monster as we drive it backwards, without speaking we get the same idea of what to do. The beast squirms to break free, but it can't open or unhinge its jaws from the shield within its teeth, it’s stuck. I spy a massive xanthorium crystal, about twice as big as the Castle, directly behind it and figure  _ that'll do it. _  The others seem to think the same as we twist Voltron towards it and when we’re close enough we release the shield. Lance lifts in the Blue Lion and delivers a powerful kick into the creature's cheek, sending it flying backwards towards the crystal. It’s clumsy with its singular thruster, waving around wildly, and just before the beast collides with the crystal our shield rips from the creature’s mouth and snaps back into place in the jaws of the Green Lion.

The force of the explosion shakes and pushes us backwards into space, millions of fragmented crystal flying through the air like crystalline teardrops. 

We let out a collective sigh of relief.  _ That definitely should do it.  _

“Nice job, team.” Shiro murmurs with a soft breath.

Suddenly, out of the flying debris, a massive red beam hurtles through space towards us like a house-sized arrow. Immediately Pidge rights the shield in defense, but the sheer force of the blast sends us reeling backwards, the sound of the raging laser colliding with the shield is so loud it makes my ears ring.

"The shield can't handle this much power!" Pidge shrieks over the com, and I quickly glance about for an alternative to absorbing the blast. The shield comes flying off, and I quickly roll Voltron away from the blast in a disengaging maneuver. We race away from the monster as it appears from the fragmented crystals, appearing completely unmarred as it opens its maw wide, bathing us in violet light. It activates its tractor beam and begins drawing us in, we’re trapped and can only delay.  _ What the fuck, if the xanthorium can’t wreck it, then what the fuck can? _

Hunk lets out a frustrated, defeated sigh, "We might not be strong enough to beat this thing!"

All of a sudden, an unfamiliar voice comes over the com, "Hang on!"

We're stunned for a moment as Shiro immediately cries in shock,  _ "Ulaz?!" _

_ Ulaz? How the hell did he get on our communicator pathway? _

"I'm going to take it down from the inside!" Ulaz cries, and out of the corner of my eye I see a small Galra ship, no bigger than my lion's head, race by us towards the beast at breakneck speed with the lightning rod of a machine at the nose.  _ What? From the inside? Where did he even come from? _

"Ulaz, no, let us handle this!" Shiro argues. 

Ulaz snaps back with a no-bullshit tone, his voice is hard and demanding, "Voltron is too valuable! The universe needs you."

I realize the gravity of Ulaz's words too late. "Wait! Ulaz, no!" I cry out just as Ulaz's vessel collides, flying straight into the Galra monster's maw. 

The monster tightens its teeth around it with a gleeful rumble, and for a horrible moment all is silent as we look on in horror.

Suddenly the monster dashes forward with one flickering, yellow eye ablaze, claws extended with a horrible shriek that rattles my bones. We all gasp in shock, and I bring up the Green and Red Lions with clenched fists, "Get ready!" Shiro commands. 

Without warning, the beast suddenly freezes up mid-flight. It looks about frantically with its one working eye, its arms snapping side to side as dark purple electrical currents race across its metal surface. Then, the metal cracks and groans, and it… it begins folding in on itself.

Pidge gasps, "Ulaz opened up a space pocket from inside! It's falling in on itself!" 

The ro-beast folds down and down with cracking and ripping of metal, horrifying sounds like breaking bones until the small metal ball the beast had formed into explodes outwards into stardust, sprinkling through space like lilac snow. 

Renewed, collective sighs of relief echo over the com. 

"He did it!" Lance cries enthusiastically. 

Keith lets out a breath, "Ulaz saved us." 

Very faintly I can just hear Shiro murmuring under his breath, "He's… gone."

The sense of relief that came initially immediately vanishes as the softness of Shiro’s voice sends chills down my spine, filling me instead with heavy grief. 

_ Ulaz was Shiro's closest hope to discovering about what happened to him while he was in Galra captivity. More than that, Ulaz willingly sacrificed himself to save us, even though we just met him. Even though we all treated him with distrust and disrespect…  _ **_I_ ** _ treated him with distrust and disrespect. _

_ We didn't deserve that heroism. _

I murmur softly over the com, "I'm sorry, Shiro."

He doesn't say anything for a moment, and within our cabins we sit in dreadful silence. Finally, he lets out a weary sigh, "Let's get back to the Castle."

Voltron disconnects, and we break apart into our individual lions. I hesitate as we float through space back to our hangers, my palms pressed against the warm metal of my lion's controls. I let out a soft sigh, staring at the falling stardust, the remains of the third ro-beast.  _ They keep coming back, each one different than the last, and the last two we were unable to defeat on our own. Without the help of the Balmera, and now Ulaz, I don't know if we could've defeated them.  _

_ We have to find out more about these creatures, and where they're coming from, before a fourth comes. _

_ Once we find out how Zarkon is tracking us. _

I walk out of my lion in a daze, the Castle's gentle hum welcoming me as I change out of my suit and back to my regular clothes.  _ How Zarkon is tracking us.   _

It’s an unsettling question that I cannot linger on without my stomach tying into knots, so I don’t. As I walk out of my hanger, I see a movement of red and white walking into the Black Lion's hanger next to my own from the corner of my eye, so I turn the corner and peer into the hanger. I spot Keith approaching the Black Lion’s armor room, he’s back in his day clothes, with that god-awful, ugly ass, red cropped jacket, and he pauses at the doorway of Shiro’s armory. Behind me, the others head back up to the command bridge when they're finished changing, chattering in a muted manner, but I find myself hesitating to follow. 

I can hear Keith's words from where I stand, "Sorry we all doubted Ulaz, Shiro. He saved all of our lives." His voice is tender and gentle, the one that he uses only for Shiro.

Shiro walks out of the room, wearing his own day clothes of a black shirt with the right sleeve torn off at the shoulder, black cargo pants, and black combat boots.  _ He’s kind of dressed like he’s always in mourning.  _ He pauses just next to Keith, who watches Shiro with a gentle look. His eyebrows knit together with a deeply morose expression as he speaks in a soft tone to Keith, “I still have so many questions…” His stormy gray eyes cast down on the white floor. 

The door from the command bridge opens and we turn as Allura strides in, her expression deadly and fierce. The sound of the opening door returns Keith's voice to normal, "How do you think Zarkon's tracking us?"

Allura answers his question as she stands directly across from me in the mouth of the Black Lion’s hanger, drawing all of our gazes to her, "We cannot know for sure. Only Ulaz knew our whereabouts." 

I feel Keith's gaze flicker to me,  _ okay, my presence is now known.  _ I get an overwhelming sense all of a sudden that I’d witnessed something I shouldn’t have between Shiro and Keith just now, a private moment.  _ Damnit, I’m too nosy for my own good. Hope that doesn’t bite me in the ass later. _

Shiro turns to her with a deep frown, not seeming to be put off by my surprise presence as his voice morphs into an edge that’s so hard I’m taken aback, "You don't really think Ulaz gave us up. After he  _ sacrificed _ himself?"

"Yeah!" Keith snaps, whirling to Allura with an equally hard gaze, "Maybe Zarkon found out about this place on his own. He's probably been searching for the Blade of Marmora!"

Allura's gaze flickers from Keith to Shiro in an almost condescending manner as she speaks in the same authoritarian tone, "It is clear that the loss of Ulaz has caused you great concern."

Some hard bolt of anger that I didn’t know that I had stored in the pit of my stomach launches into my throat, snapping a frayed line of self control inside me. I point my finger at Allura with a hard look and an equally cutting tone, "Allura, you can't let your blind hatred for the Galra ignore the sacrifice he made. Like him, trust him or not, he saved us." 

Allura meets my eyes with a deep frown, "The Galra don't care about the lives of others, including their own. It’s hardly surprising that Ulaz didn’t value his own life, and I know that you know it as well as I do.” Allura’s voice is hard and level, but I can see the burning rage behind her sapphire gaze that allows her voice to be as cutting as it is, “You've felt what their contempt, their  _ disdain _ is like. Is Earthling memory retention so small that you’ve forgotten already what they’ve done?" 

I find my hands trembling, and all I can see when I blink are golden/yellow eyes, the eyes of a laughing snake as I snap, "You don't know  _ jack shit _  about what I've  _ felt _ ,  _ you- _ "

"Will!" Shiro barks, cutting me off with a voice much like a drill sergeant's. My hands drop like there are weights on my wrists, I keep my eyes on the floor to avoid meeting any of the others’. I dig my fingertips into the scar on my palm, now without gloves the biting feeling of my nails into the raised skin sends sharper signals. The minute pain brings me back to myself, melting the anger away like candle wax until it collects in the base of my heart where it can remain, unriled and quiet.

When I look up again, Allura is peering at me like my outburst was about as interesting as the Altean mice running across her foot. She continues like nothing happened, "... Regardless of how Zarkon located us, we cannot stay here any longer. It isn't safe."

"We should meet up with the rest of Ulaz's group, finish what we started." Keith answers with a determined gaze, yet his tone is off, like he’s distracted. I flicker my gaze back to him with a raised eyebrow as Shiro abruptly steps forward, waving his prosthetic in a sweeping, clear signal.

"No." Shiro answers firmly with a deft shake of his head, "We're not going to the headquarters until we figure out how Zarkon found us. We can't risk losing the only allies we have in this war."

My blood runs cold.  _ How Zarkon found us. _  My gaze falls to my feet, frowning as I think about what happened on the bridge. 

_ Why do I always get that physical response when the ro-beasts are coming? When we approached Zarkon command, I was able to hear him speaking to me, and to Shiro briefly for that moment. Why would that happen unless we were somehow... connected? _

I shudder at the mere thought and push it far,  _ far _ away. 

Allura watches us for a moment before she nods, "I suppose. For right now, we'll get out of here, and you should get some rest in the meantime and plan our next move." She states, fixing her gaze on me for a mere moment before she turns and strides out of the hanger. 

I know she means well. I feel exactly as she feels, and I can tell the way she looked at me that she knew I was lashing out in fear, not anger. I think she may have even been pushing me the hardest because she thought we had that feeling in common. But… I  _ hate  _ that feeling. I hate feeling helpless to my own mind, especially when I know I'm only helpless because of… 

I turn on heel and march away at a brisk pace, but before I get a step or two away a cold, metal hand claps on my shoulder, "Will, hang on a second." Shiro murmurs. Immediate, red, hot anger spikes in my veins, my tongue tastes like copper as the melted candle wax immediately spits forth like lava from a volcano. Keith moves to leave past us, but his pace is slow, steady. 

_ I'm embarrassed at how I acted just now, especially with him here, but… More the easier for getting distance between us. No one wants to be with someone unstable, and that's exactly how I look. It’s kind of how I feel, too. Why is everything so fucking  _ **_much_ ** _ all the time? _

Slowly, once the anger quells in my throat, I turn to Shiro and cross my arms over my chest, "What?" I can't help sounding pissed and defensive, but I know exactly what Shiro wants to talk to me about.  _ I did almost cuss Allura out. I probably do deserve a bit of a sharp reprimand. I’ll just try to brush it off and apologize, and it’ll be settled without emotional turmoil.  _

Shiro frowns at me with narrowed, gray eyes, his hands dropping to cross comfortably across his chest in a rather paternal manner, "What was that?” 

I huff quietly with a hint of indignation, feeling my eyes drifting off to the side to avoid Shiro’s penetrating gaze.  _ Just project an image, a great excuse is all the shit’s that’s been going on I can just chalk it up to that, nothing about how unstable I am, nothing about how I feel like I’m about to rip off my own skin and throw it across the galaxy and hope that it’ll draw Zarkon away- _ “Sorry, Shiro,” I say with as much genuine sadness as I can muster, “I’m just tired.” 

“Don’t bullshit me.” Shiro snaps in a deeper, quieter tone that causes me to blink in surprise. I meet his gaze which is hard as diamonds as he rumbles, “You've been acting strange. Not just now, but all day. You didn’t come to meals with us, you’ve hardly spoke but now that you are talking again you're snapping at people, and not just Allura.” 

I shift my gaze away from Shiro as something hot and salty burns my throat. Shiro’s tone softens a little, shifting down an octave to a soothing tenor as he murmurs, “Is something going on?” 

Out of the corner of my eye as I struggle to avoid Shiro’s gaze I see the door towards the bridge sliding open. I flicker my gaze over to see Keith, who’s hesitating just at the doorway; I feel my cheeks burning hot and I can’t explain why.

_ No, I know exactly why. Keith’s listening to Shiro telling me that I’m acting strange, he’s got to know, or at least he’ll think that it’s because of yesterday’s bullshit. I mean, that’s definitely part of it, but I feel like that was just a catalyst to this… feeling I’ve had since I woke up in the cryo-pod. That I’m out of control, that I’ve been missing that rope of self control I’ve always had ever since I walked out of the infirm.  _

"I don't know what you're talking about." I state firmly, and I find my tone sounds more like I'm trying to convince myself than Shiro.  _ Come on, Will, can't you try a little _ _ harder? You used to be better at this, what’s  _ **_wrong_ ** _ with you?  _

My gaze remains on Keith, who's standing in the hanger bay door towards the lounge, unmoving, but he isn’t looking our way, his gaze is fixed on the room beyond the door. Shiro seems to notice my gaze and looks up at Keith and with a sudden perk in his step, Keith marches out of the room, the door snapping shut behind him. _So, he must’ve been eavesdropping until he realized_ _we know he's still here. I mean, it’s only fair, I was just doing the exact same thing like a minute ago._

Only when the door shuts behind him does Shiro look back at me with the same paternal expression, "You know you can talk to me, right?” 

I huff indignantly and cross my arms, unable to meet Shiro's gaze as I stare instead at the floor, “I told you, I’m just tired. That's all."  _ Just believe me, and drop it, Shiro, can’t you just drop it- _

Shiro frowns at me with an unconvinced expression, "You slept for 14 hours."

I blink at him stupidly, "Hey, how do you know that?"

Shiro's expression is even, and unamused, "Lance told me when you went to your room and you didn’t even stir when I tried to get you up for breakfast, and then for lunch before we went to the Green Lion’s hanger."  _ He’s annoyingly observant. _

I huff and curl my lip, my gaze flickering downwards.  _ I just want to leave. Why does Shiro decide now is a good time to be all up in by business? He just had an opportunity to learn what happened to him literally ripped away from him, yet he’s troubling himself with me.  _

_ Jesus, I must be acting up real badly if he’s inconveniencing himself, now of all times. _

This makes something harden unpleasantly in my throat. “I’m sorry, I just… I’ll be fine tomorrow.” I state with a wave of my hand, and the longer I speak the more convinced, the more assured I sound,  _ which is a relief, _ “I’m sorry, the last thing you need to do right now is deal with me right now-“  __

"Is this about Keith?" 

I feel my heart jolt at the mere mention.  _ "No!" _ I snap, gritting my jaw with a rapid exhale, but the fiery burn in my cheeks flares like a bonfire. Even if Shiro was an absolute moron, which he is not, he would be able to see right through me. 

I throw my hands in the air with a snarl, "It's not important! Shiro, Ulaz just… You shouldn’t be worrying about me right now. I’m really sorry that this is all happening right now, and- just let it go, alright?" I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding as I frown at my feet, crossing my arms over my chest defensively.  _ I’m absolutely  _ **_shit_ ** _ at this whole ‘hiding how I feel’ thing. I used to be so much better at this, why is it being challenging now?  _

Shiro is silent for a moment before he murmurs in a soft voice, "He told me about what happened."

_ Oh.  _

**_Fuck._ **

I falter, a heavy stone getting caught in my throat. I haven’t been able to look at anything but Shiro’s boots for this entire conversation, but now even that seems to be too much. My throat tightens, guilt and a deep, aching pain threatens to strangle me. I have to bite my nails into the scar on my palm, hard, to bring myself back down from losing my fucking mind.  _ I’m crazy. I’m crazy and now I’m finally snapping. That’s what’s happening, I’m finally losing it. _

I let out a shaky breath, curling my hands into my hair with a stressed tone, "I know,  _ I know _ it's my fault, but I'll… I apologized, and I promise it won’t happen again. It won’t happen again.” I shake my head and let out another hard breath, pushing air past the lump in my throat, “I said I was sorry. I promise it won’t happen again.”  _ I’m repeating myself. Pull yourself TOGETHER, Will! _

Shiro interrupts me, speaking with utter confusion, "What are you talking about?"

I blink and look up at him, wondering if he's joking as I mirror his expression, "... What're  _ you _ talking about?" 

_He said Keith told him about what happened. What else is there besides that that Keith would’ve told him about?_ _It’s gotta be that stupid decision I made yesterday, that’s all Keith had to have told him. Then he knows it’s my fault, he knows I just unloaded my feelings on him like that, right?_

Shiro tilts his head at me, as if contemplating just how much about his apparent conversation with Keith he should divulge, "He said you told him about your feelings for him.”

I let out a sharp breath like I just got punched, “... Yeah.” 

“… and immediately after you said you didn't want anything to do with him and left.”

I blink stupidly, processing his words embarrassingly slowly. 

_ That’s… no that’s not right. It’s not that I didn't want anything to do with him, that's not what I said at all- _  ”That's… No. I mean, yes, but no. I…” I let out a breath as I run another shaky hand through my hair, I can feel its sitting at awkward, helmet-hair angle, "Shiro, I don't want to get into this, okay? I know it was stupid to tell him, but he kept blaming himself for how I was treating him different otherwise I wouldn't have said anything!" I close my eyes, a lump forming in my throat that I have to choke past to finish with a hard breath, "There's too much at stake. There's too much going on, with the literal weight of the universe on our shoulders, I can't go mixing my stupid feelings into it. Especially when I know he doesn't feel the same way, it'll just hurt the team. This  _ shouldn’t  _ be what we’re talking about after-"

Shiro raises an eyebrow at me curiously and interrupts me  _ again _ , "He told you that?"

I blink at him stupidly as I try to shove my raging thoughts aside, “Told me what?”

“That he doesn’t feel the same.”

I can’t help but glare at Shiro with all the fire in my belly.  _ This is so juvenile. Why are we talking about this? _

“I…” I bite my lip just as I’m about to give a fiery retort, my gaze flickering to the ground, "Well… no… but I... Even if he did, I wouldn't have believed him." I state, practically spitting out the words, but eventually I'm finally able to meet Shiro's gaze. His eyes are soft, like gentle overcast in April. 

"Telling someone you have feelings for them just sets up this expectation that I want something from him, so even if he said he… felt the same, I wouldn't believe him because how… How do I know it isn't just because he feels sorry for me?” I frown, pulling on my collar like that’s what’s making my breath harder to grasp, “I just… the way that I went about it was wrong, just all  _ wrong,  _ Shiro, I just can’t control-" 

I break off the words before they spill out. After a moment, I drop my gaze down to inspect my sneakers. _  They're pretty worn, I'm gonna need new ones soon. _  "How else are you supposed to react when someone admits they have feelings for you? And then I had to go and… Do even  _ more  _ stupid shit, it’s just…  _ God,  _ Shiro, it’s just a bunch of stupid stuff, I’m sorry that you’re getting mixed up in my stupidity, especially now, I’ll pull my shit together and never do anything to him again, I promise." 

_ I wish I could go back in time and slap myself in the face. Why am I like this? _

Shiro looks at me like I just grew two heads, and after a moment he speaks slowly, like he’s tasting his words, "Will, that doesn't make any sense." 

Hearing him talk made me realize just how quickly I just was speaking. I let out my pent up breath in a huff, quickly turning my back on Shiro while shaking my head, speaking as level as I can manage, "It doesn’t matter, anyway, Shiro. We’ve got other things to worry about, just… drop it, okay?" 

I feel that my voice is small, and when I meet Shiro’s eyes over my shoulder I have to fight back the burning salt that’s rising in my throat, “It’s over now. I’m gonna try harder and return to normal. I promise that my feelings won’t get in the way again.”

I don’t want to wait around until Shiro finds something to say. I shove my hands in my pockets and walking out of the hanger. 

_ I can't deal with this. The only way that it'll go away is if I stuff it so far down a deep dark recess of my being that it gets swallowed and eaten by something else and I'll forget my feelings for him. I'll forget how his lips taste, I'll forget how his eyes glint like the night sky on a cloudless night when he smiles... I'll forget it.  _

_ Everything’s louder now, I feel like I’m feeling every emotion like it’s for the first time and I don’t like it. I hate feeling helpless, and I feel like I’m at the mercy of my own head.  _

_ I just need time to stuff this, all of this, my sense that I’m losing my mind, my stupid gay feelings for Keith, down a rabbit hole in my head to rot.  _

I beeline for my room, shutting the door and locking it. Only then do I breathe again, and with a growl I kick the wall hard enough for dull pain to race from my foot up to my hip. 

_ Why can’t you fucking control yourself? What the fuck is  _ **_wrong_ ** _ with you?  _

I whirl around, raking my fingertips through my hair until my gaze drifts to the bookshelf at the foot of my bed, the stack of notebooks resting in the middle. 

The last time I wrote was before Sendak invaded the Castle. 

Maybe now’s the time to catch things up.  _ This may be the distraction I need, reflecting on the past rather than what the fuck I’m going to do with myself for the future.  _

Slowly, I sit down on my bed and grab my notebook, pulling the pen from the spiral and reading back what I’d written. 

Largely it’s my thoughts on the team, my questions about them, who they are as people, where they came from. I’d mentioned that I thought Pidge was hiding something. I smirk a little to myself and turn the page,  _ well, that mystery’s solved.  _ I finally come to the final page, detailing our Voltron training, what it’s like to be bonding with the White Lion, what our day to day lives were like back on Arus. I find a blush rising in my cheeks when I read about my thoughts on Keith, watching my opinion morph the more I wrote and the more I realized my feelings for him.  _ Goddamnit, I really am just a worthless homosexual, huh? _

I want to chronicle what’s happened. I think that’s why I started writing in the first place, I wanted to have a record of all the shit’s that’s been going on. 

But I don’t know if I want to immortalize everything. As much as I’d hate to reflect back on what  _ has  _ happened, knowing I’ll have to write about Sendak, almost drowning, Zarkon… maybe it’ll calm something in me. Get some sort of closure. 

I pick up the pen and write everything. 

Everything. 

I write about my conversation with Lance, learning he’s from Cuba, telling him I’m glad he’s here. I describe the fake Rover blowing up the crystal, the aftermath where my head hurt and everyone was there and worried about planning what to do next, the blood shining on Keith’s gloves. I write about the White Lion stone starting to glow, healing the back of my head, immediately giving it to Lance because he looked  _ so bad, the deep cut on his temple, the metallic back of his suit was battered and bruised and bent.  _ I write about the others splitting up, Shiro and I taking Lance to the infirmary.  _ I had no idea that the minute pain I experienced would be nothing for what was to come. _

I describe Sendak, my hand shakes but this makes me all the more determined to do it right, to show just how terrifying he is through the words. The sharp cut of his cheekbones into his ears, the blood red scope instead of a right eye, his massive claw,  _ “I see that you’ve seen the druids. They do love to experiment.”  _

I still puzzle at what that’s supposed to mean. Galran druids, that is. I have a suspicion that it was that creature who zapped lightning back at the space base but what does that have anything to do with prosthetics? Specifically  _ Shiro’s  _ prosthetic?  _ They must’ve been the ones who gave it to him, or fashioned it for him. But why?  _

I don’t want to think about it. So I don’t. But I do write it down. 

I write about the second Galra, Haxus, trying to kill me. He knocked my bayard away and choked me before I could worm free, the blood dripping from the gash over his eye as I raced to help Shiro.  _ I feel a lot of sick satisfaction that his blood is the first to coat my blade.  _ Through grit teeth I write having the knife to my throat, watching Sendak knock Shiro unconscious on the white floors of the Castle, getting cuffed and dragged with Shiro and Lance’s unconscious forms like trophies. Strangely enough, as I continue to write my anxiety and my fury over the injustice and terror, it all kind of drains out of me like a controlled reservoir. Even though I’m writing about myself and how I was feeling, writing it down rather than feeling it and experiencing it makes it feel outside of myself, it’s almost affecting me less. 

I detail Sendak taking over the bridge, using his crystal to power up the Castle and turning the soft blue to a blood red; my promise to unlock the lions to try and save Shiro and Lance, knowing full well that I wasn’t going to give him anything, but  _ at least it’s only my life on the line _ . 

_ ‘I didn’t care about what would happen to me.’  _ My pen slides across the page as I scribble the words, it’s like my thoughts are transmitting straight into the page,  _ ‘I thought I was going to die no matter what happened, so how it happened wouldn’t matter if it all led to the same place. I just had to protect Lance and Shiro as best as I could before that happened.’ _

I describe Zarkon at length: the onyxian crown that braces along his sharp visage, the fangs that jut over his lilac skin and the horrifying chill of pupil-less, golden eyes, describing that realization within me that  _ this  _ is the enemy,  _ this  _ is who we’re fighting. 

I pause and consider whether I should write  _ specifically _ what happened. A part of me wants to gloss over it, I don’t want to think about it... but the inner writer in me, the part that wants to lay it all out on paper to instill it in truth, wins over.  _ No one else will see this but me. There’s no problem with writing in the gritty details, and I want it to be out there. I want to be somewhere other than rattling in my head.  _

I write about the electricity shocking through my bones.  _ ‘It’s probably the first real pain I’ve ever really experienced.’ _ I describe that specific moment when the realization hits me that I’m going to die because I failed Shiro, and that I’m taking him and Lance with me because of it. I describe crawling to the panel to help Pidge, delaying Haxus by pressing the symbol that was shaped like a dick, getting thrown back and personally pissing off Sendak enough for the prod to rip into me and staying there.  _ ‘The violet lightning seemed to rip through my very blood that soaked Sendak’s claw, I’ve never seen so much blood and it was surreal that it was mine.’  _ I write Shiro waking up, the horrible rage that gripped me as I helplessly watched Sendak lifting Shiro and ripping into him as badly as he ripped into me. ‘ _ I realized that Sendak only needed an excuse to do this. It was probably inevitable, but he needed a reason… I handed it to him on a silver platter and called it self sacrifice."Haxus has been very quiet, for quite a while now. I sure hope nothing bad has happened to him."’ _

I write about Sendak turning back and torturing him again,  _ “Your friend wanted to hear from you.” ‘I had no thought of my safety at that point, nothing but how much everything hurt and how much I wanted to kill this fucking monster that was hurting Shiro, Shiro who had already been through so much and now I’m adding to his trauma because I was careless and out of my depth.’  _ I write how I charged and fell, the agony, how much blood I was losing, but  _ ‘I have to protect Shiro.’ _ I write about putting myself between Shiro’s fallen form and Sendak, determined to at least piss him off even if it didn’t do anything other than smear my blood on Shiro’s armor. I describe how everything was growing fuzzier, how the White Lion’s hanger was empty and Sendak’s clawed hand pinned my throat to the floor,  _ “Call off your beast!”  _ I didn’t understand, I couldn’t see what he was talking about, he threatens to kill Lance and Shiro… then Pidge. 

I describe Pidge’s hologram illusion to pull Sendak away as she ran in to try and set us free, only for Sendak to catch her as well. I detail my horror settling in that little Pidge, a kid no older than sixteen, is about to experience what I just did... until Keith and Allura came. I describe Keith and Allura, shrouded in the red light like avenging angels as Pidge frees herself from Sendak’s grasp. The battle’s on.  _ ‘Shiro throws himself in despite his exhaustion and his wounds, I don’t remember too much but I do remember finding the strength to get up and try to catch Keith before he hit the wall except that was such a stupid decision, the adrenaline made me forget how close to dying I was.’ _

_ “We make a good team.”  _

I write about waking up in the cryopod, the relief that everyone was okay, especially Lance and Shiro. I write down how we launched off the planet, Pidge’s coming out.  _ ‘I was so happy that I wasn’t alone, and I’m still so so happy that she feels safe enough with us to tell us about who she is. I’m proud of her.’  _ I write how we met Rolo and Nyma. I write about learning from Keith on what was happening on the outside when Shiro, Lance, and I were being held by Sendak.  _ ‘He kept blaming himself as if he had any control over what Sendak was going to do. I understand, I could tell right from the beginning how much Shiro means to Keith, I can’t think of a more fierce or loyal protector than him. Shiro must’ve done something remarkable to earn his trust so soundly that warranted this closeness.  _ I described how Nyma left Lance chained to a tree to steal the Blue Lion, then Keith’s flying skill as nothing short of awe-inspiring to get them out of the asteroid field. Of course then I have to mention the selfies Pidge sent of Lance tied to the tree. Just recalling the pictures reminds me how I want to have them. They’d be awesome decoration for my room.

I lift my head and set my notebook down and touch my holographic panel. It’s 11pm and my back _hurts,_ I must’ve been crouched over the notebook for some time. I bring up the pictures where I had them saved on the link between my suit computer and my panel, and with a flick of my wrist I project them to the wall next to my bookshelf. They shine from within the walls, Lance’s indignant expression and Pidge’s glee, and just looking at them I find a smile stretching across my face. They look like holographic polaroids pinned to the wall, so I set them there permanently through my panel. 

_ Back to the story.  _

I write about the Balmera, a planet that lives and breathes like any other animal. The Balmerans, the cruelty of the Galra and the trap in the heart. Shay communicating with her people through the Balmera itself, recapturing our lions and heading to the surface to take down the cruiser that had the Castle pinned. I recount the team’s frustration, specifically Lance and Shiro’s frustrations with me. Apologetically I detail arguing with Shiro about the best course of action and Lance giving me shit for it.  _ ‘I wasn’t trying to be argumentative. I think I was just nervous, second guessing myself which led to me second guessing the team. I hope Shiro didn’t think I was questioning his leadership, I just wanted to make sure it was the best course of action so everyone would be okay.’  _ The second ro-beast. 

I describe its monstrous face, how I didn’t know where the living creature began and the metal ended, the grotesque twist of its teeth and the grinding growl of its screeches, the sucker lasers and the twist of its eyes that left burnt pock marks in our lions. I even try to draw it out a bit but it looks pretty shitty, so I just keep it as a bare sketch. I write about Hunk discovering the Yellow Lion’s ability, blasting the creature with such a power it rattled me in my cabin like a maraca.  _ ‘He was so anxious the whole time that it made me feel a little better, that at least I wasn’t the only one who felt out of my element and scared shitless, even though it wasn’t remotely true for Hunk. He really shone that day, he was the one who pressed us to save the Balmerans in the first place. I think that’s why his lion unlocked that ability for him, or whatever it is that triggers it, because he really proved himself as a Paladin that day.’ _

I take my time in describing Allura and the healing ritual she performed on the planet. The brilliant blue that encompassed her and the ground around the Castle, the way it radiated outward like a ripple in a pond, shredding the Galra structures apart and renewing the Balmera’s strength. I describe her lying in Shay’s arms and asking,  _ “Did it work?” ‘I don’t think magic really exists in this world, but that ritual looked to be the closest thing to it that I may ever see. At least, until later.’  _ I write down the ro-beast’s surprising return while we had our pants down and the Balmera rising to our defense, encasing it in crystal in forever memoriam of the battle that took place here in freeing the Balmerans from the Galra. 

I write how I passed out in the White Lion after the battle, but specifically I write down the dream I had. I remember it well. First I was with my dad on the beach, but then it was my encounter with Keith in the hall… 

Here I pause. I stare at the page as the dream returns to me, it’s a bare figment of what it was but I remember how it made me feel. It was the turning point, when I realized that how I felt about Keith had morphed from an idle crush to something just beyond that, and it scared the  _ fuck  _ out of me. I don’t think about it in terms of myself. This is my  _ past  _ self we’re talking about here, not  _ me.  _

I drift off a tangent, the ink flows like tears down a cheek as I detail my insecurities, the ramifications of what I felt based on how I acted and how these feelings dug up past hurts. I don’t go into detail with Damien, he isn’t relevant to the story, he’s an assumed prequel, but I write about how I haven’t even remotely considered dating anyone since him, and the fact that I thought of that while thinking about my feelings for Keith made everything so real so fast.  _ ‘I don’t know what dark part of my subconsciousness was yanked out to slap me in the face with this, but it wasn’t at all welcome. We were barely a week into knowing one another, yet somehow I caught feels so intensely that he occupied my thoughts damn near every waking moment, either thinking about how to chill the fuck out and force the feelings down or wallowing in self pity over the self-induced predicament I’d placed myself into. And, you know, thinking about how pretty he is. I’m a useless homosexual.’  _

Writing this down has the opposite effect of what I was hoping for. Unlike when I was writing about Sendak, writing about my feelings for Keith and my fears and worries made it so much more real and tangible that I had several minutes of considering to scratch it out, tear out the pages. I keep them. I write down at the end how I considered scratching them out and tearing the pages because of this fear of it being tangible.  _ ‘As I write this down I really considered scratching it out, ripping out the pages. Admitting these thoughts exist makes them real… but I think we’re well past that. They’re real. I think about Keith way more often than a straight person should, I just have to deal with them.  _ I keep going. It’s a part of the story. 

I describe the scene when we had Sendak hooked up to the cryopod, waiting for information to be revealed by the little water-filled container. I write about how I felt like I was losing my mind, staring at his face and flinching with every movement like his claw is about to come blindsiding us from the shadows. I write about Lance noticing Shiro’s stillness first, inspiring my worry for him.  _ ‘It really brought my selfish head out of my ass in that moment, it made me realize that Shiro was going through the exact same thing that I was. What’s worse is that it happened before. Something that I think may have been traumatic enough to keep his memory wiped of it ever occurring, if it wasn’t a direct hand of the Galra involved. I don’t think I’ll ever stop holding onto that guilt for causing him more pain.’ _ I write about having to leave, resolving to come back to check on him. 

Drowning. 

It’s difficult to put down to paper, simply because it’s hard to describe; the growing terror of realizing the predicament I was in when the shower started to fill up. The stages of grief I went through, wondering how shitty it was that I was gonna die in the shower of all places when there were so many other things, more badass things that could’ve or still could kill me. I describe it as fire ripping down my lungs and shredding my throat, the agony and the burn from the icy chill that crept into my bones and numbed everything, including my fear until I was nothing but a shell of acceptance. I write about seeing Shiro, the terror in his eyes, his hands pressed to his ears as Sendak’s still form spoke to him like a pariah calling from hell to drag Shiro down to him,  _ “Do you think that a monster like you could ever be a Voltron Paladin?”  _

I write about waking up to my friends having broken me out, my relief, the  _ cold  _ of the water, Keith draping his jacket over me. I close my eyes and remember the moment as I scribble it down, seeing Keith’s sword lying amidst the broken glass and remembering seeing Shiro. My fear spiked to the point I couldn’t speak.  _ ‘I was mute, I couldn’t talk without stammering for several syllables. It was mostly the cold from the water, but I think it was also the fear, hearing that Sendak’s crystal had caused all this made me think that I’d subjected Shiro to Sendak all over again because I was too weak to stay in the stupid detainment chamber. Also shock from almost drowning, but you know, whatever.’ _ I write about stealing Keith’s bayard and yelling at them as best as I could to shut up and follow me but it wasn’t working, I couldn’t speak like I wanted to, so I just spat out the words that I could and shoved away anyone who stood in my way…  _ ‘Keith. It was only Keith who stood in my way. He wanted his sword back.’ _

I write about finding Shiro with the ejected cryo-pod, on his knees in a full panic.  _ ‘His eyes were so wide, his entire body seemed to tremble uncontrollably. I was relieved he was alive, but I couldn’t suppress the guilt. I’d caused this. I gave him fresh trauma to cope with.’  _ I write about the Castle wormholing, leading us to race to the bridge, King Alfor’s soul or whatever having taken over the Castle’s functions and seeming to have momentarily driven Allura mad enough to wormhole the Castle into a star about to supernova. I write about Coran snapping her out of it due to the smell of juniberries, her resolve to do what had to be done even if it meant losing her father forever. Our group hug afterward to give her our sympathies.  _ ‘Words can’t even begin to describe how much shit Allura’s had to go through. Sure, I mean, we’ve all kind of been through hell but her hell is 7th circle level, yet she somehow has the straightest head of us all, rivaling only Shiro’s. I guess that what they say is true, that strife and challenge only fall to people who are prepared to face it.’ _

I write about Keith giving me his jacket, how it filled me with such gay panic that I could barely stand it, how I ended up sleeping with it because its presence calmed me in the wake of the terror and chill of the day. I describe waking up and going to the kitchen for food, finding Shiro in the hall. I write about my worries and fears for him, telling him I heard what Sendak said and that he was wrong, that Shiro is our figurehead and if Sendak got him to fall then so would the rest of the team, but he didn’t, he remained strong because he  _ is  _ strong.  _ ‘I was so honored that he opened up to me. He’s so stoic and firm that if I didn’t know better, if I hadn’t seen what he’d seen at least with Sendak, he’d seem like the epitome of calm in the face of danger. But it was a facade he put up to deal with it, for our sakes and for the galaxies’. I don’t envy him, but there’s no one better to be the Black Paladin than Shiro.’ _

I detail going to the kitchen, listening to the others talking, Hunk’s dislike of Gordon Ramsay, Lance and Pidge’s play-fighting. I describe Lance calling me out on my shit for treating Keith differently and how I felt like I was gonna explode in embarrassment because  _ everyone  _ seemed to notice, _ ‘even Shiro was smirking.’ _ so I admitted to them my  _ stupid, gay _ feelings.  _ ‘They tried to help, but eventually I just had to say ‘No guys, there’s really nothing to be done except for me to stop being gay’ before escaping on the pretense of more sleep. It was a little uncomfortable, almost everyone on the ship, well, all of the  _ **_Paladins_ ** _ knew of my feelings now and that scared me, making them more legitimized and tangible.’  _

I write about finding Allura in the chamber where her father’s essence was stored and talking to her for what must’ve been hours, about Altea, about transladazines, how the concept of race vs. species works in English. I write about telling her about being trans, then her telling me that Alteans have an ability to morph themselves like chameleons, including their gender so that’s why the phrase doesn’t exist. I write about listening to Allura talk about Altea, akaine being her favorite pastry, juniberries and huskins, spilling juice on her dress and getting upset about it. I write about talking about Earth, the forest, describing what a pine needle is, the ocean and seashells, conch shells keeping a piece of the ocean inside them. I describe how the earrings she always wears are her communicators, and she wears them all the time so that we can always talk to her when we need her.  _ ‘Her heart is so big, she’s so caring and selfless that I can’t imagine how lucky we are as a team to have such a warm hearted guide in our journey to liberate the galaxy.’  _

I write about braiding her hair, learning that she’s 176  _ ‘which is young for Alteans who live between 800 to 900, like how  _ **_insane_ ** _ is that, how different their society must be with such long lives!’ _ I write about how I thought she was an elf, and then describing what an elf was.  _ ‘I can’t believe I was such a nerd that I spent at least fifteen minutes just telling her about the literary lore that went into the creation of the fantasy genre. I’m really out here representing the human race.’  _ I write about my admiration for her and her strength for pressing on day after day despite the horror and trauma she shoulders,  _ ‘if I was half as strong as Allura I could bench press Hunk’ _ . 

_ ‘Then it was the space base.’ _

Only then do I realize how tired I am. I could fall asleep literally on the spot, the shiny ink of my scrawling hand is starting to swirl as my eyes fall closed. I look down at my notebook and resolve I’ll finish writing the story later, turning and shelving it back in its place. 

I get into bed and curl under the covers, ready to get some rest, and that’s when I feel Keith’s rough jacket still wound up right under my pillow. 

_ Fuck.  _

_ Fuck it, I’m too tired to deal with this bullshit. What’s a second night? _

I close my eyes and drift off, something subconscious drawing Keith’s jacket out and hugging it to me from beneath the blanket as I fall into a deep sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---  
> It's November 1rst, so you know I wrote half this chapter while jamming to Mariah Carey's all I want for Christmas is you (happy Christmas First friends!)
> 
> Also, Gay Space Dad helping his poor and confused gay children? Yes. Always. 
> 
> Especially as a distraction from his own feelings (aka *suffering depression*) .. :)  
> Everything's sad. I'm sad. (I know David)  
> \---


	19. Crack the Code

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will feels like a firecracker, living up to the hot-head-red-head stereotype. With his inner worries about his place on the team, whether or not his presence puts the team in danger, and then dealing with the sheer amount of insanity that he and the team has had to deal with up until this point has pushed him to the limit. But the demand for the Paladins never ends, and eventually they're called to action in a method that they least expected.  
> \---  
> ***WARNING: some references of non-con at the beginning/middle. it's pretty vague, but it's there.***

_ I’m standing in my room, my room back home. I need to get ready for school. I rub the sleep from my eyes as I head into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I rinse the bristles and put on the paste, rising it to my mouth-  _

_ Damien stares back at me through the looking glass and I immediately drop the brush. So does Damien. He’s mimicking my pose perfectly, his blue eyes are just as wide as mine, just as startled. I shift to stand upright and so does he, giving me a more perplexed look like the one I’m giving him. I reach up to touch my cheeks… so too do Damien’s hands, rising and caresses his own cheek as I touch my own and staring at me with the same dawning horror that I have, until it morphs. It’s not horror, it’s a grin, a fanged grin that’s course and darkly satisfied.  _

_ I’m falling backwards away from the mirror, tugged back by a hand in the back of my shirt. I fall through the floor into someplace gray, indistinct and fuzzy, the fall feels sudden and terrifying but it’s short lived, my back hits something soft and plush.  _

_ His hands curl into my hair as he pushes me down further to join me, his thighs straddling my lap that sends thunderbolts up my spine. I rest my hands on his waist as he cups my face to meet his eyes, like wine running over a black stone, “Is this okay?”  _

_ I blink up at Keith with a bit of surprise, replying with a soft voice, “... Yeah.” He hums under his breath as he presses me onto my back, his hands clasping onto mine as he shifts them from his waist and instead holding them gingerly on either side of my head, our fingers laced together. He finally leans down and kisses me; it’s gentle, explorative, it leaves me gasping like I’m on cloud nine, nothing but God herself can touch me now as our lips fall together naturally.  I’m straining to touch him as something impossibly warm burns straight through my core, just when one of his hands disengage from mine and instead curl into my hair, cupping my cheek. Pulled by something deep within me I reach my freed hand to his waist and tugging him closer. _

_ He gasps softly against my lips before he sits up, his black hair is cascading from his shoulders and falling over his violet gaze, surrounded by the soft gray light of the room he looks nothing short of angelic. He’s about to speak right as I feel something strange, like roots stretching beneath my skin and into my hands, seizing their mobility and guiding my hands to his hips and backwards, skirting the top hem of his jeans and holding his waist as I push my thigh up between his legs. He chokes on the beginnings of his words, instead gasping in such a shaky and breathless manner it sends lightning down my spine. The roots spread, snatching my control right out away from me as I flip us, pinning him onto his back and setting myself between his legs, my hands gracing his chest, his sides, down to his thighs. He gasps as he braces his hands onto my shoulders, his hair is in cresting waves like crows wings on white bed sheets as his gaze flickers up to mine, they’re wide-blown and beautiful and it’s so invigorating it hardens the bark of the roots under my skin and solidifies their hold. “Shit,” Keith’s lips perk into a gentle smirk, his hands sliding up my forearms to my shoulders as he raises an elegantly slanted eyebrow at me, “You look like you’re planning something.” _

_ “I am.” A voice speaks that isn’t my own, but although it’s my body that’s moving I feel now like I’ve been completely removed from it, the branches of the tree mentally holding me at arm’s length as my hands push up Keith’s shirt. He shivers and flickers his gaze down to the intrusion as I lean forward and bite and suck his throat. Purple bruises blossom beneath my teeth and the tremor of his deep, low moan races straight through me to the point I myself can actually feel it, but I’m… getting scared. I can’t stop my hands from moving, not that I want to, but they  _ **_won’t_ ** _ stop, what if I need them to? They slide down to the button of Keith’s jeans and undo them with fumbling fingers, immediately sliding beneath, this fake me doesn’t so much as a look in Keith’s direction, instead smirking with sharp canines as he leans down and lays open mouthed kisses on Keith’s stomach. Keith jumps and grabs… me? He grabs my hands and holds them sternly in cold, firm fingers, “Easy, I don-” _

_ “Too bad.” The voice is familiar, it isn’t mine. It’s leaving my mouth but it isn’t me. Keith’s pushing me away, this fake me I’m no longer a part of and I’m pushing  _ **_back,_ ** _ I won’t release, I’m holding him down- No, I would never do this. I would never hurt Keith like this.  _

_ Give me back my body.  _

I start awake so hard and so violently I nearly come tumbling out of bed, my hand clasped to my chest as my breath rattles. I can feel my breath is rapid and out of control so I grit my teeth and gasp out the chant, “One, two, three, four, five, I’m alive, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, breath again.” Slowly but surely my breath returns to me, but my hands refuse to stop shaking. 

_ What the fresh fuck was that?  _

I sit upright in bed for a solid five minutes just trying to recollect the dream, tugging at the fragments, but it’s already slipping away, but I was able to hold onto two parts. Keith… I had him beneath me, I was kissing his throat and he was  _ moaning, Jesus Christ-  _ But then the rest. The piece I wish I’d lost,  _ “Too bad.” Give me back my body.  _

I shudder and clutch my hands in my hair, resting my elbows on my knees as I steady my raging heart rate.  _ This is just my subconscious being a dick to me. I would never actually do that, I would never do unto someone else, especially  _ **_Keith_ ** _ , what Damien did to me… wouldn’t I?  _

_ The very fact that that’s a question just confirms that I should never go near Keith ever again.  _

I bolt upright and get dressed in such a flurry that I’m out the door before I can really process anything, only barely snatching my flannel up as an afterthought. I pause only to brush my teeth before heading for my hanger.  _ I need to hit something. I need to hit something so fucking bad, I need to escape this horrible crawling feeling beneath my skin.  _

_ After losing my temper, my conversation with Shiro yesterday, and now this dream?... I need to bury myself into something else to think about that isn’t my lack of self control.  _

Once I have my bayard from my armory I head to the training decks at a quick pace, tying my flannel around my waist with a set expression, feeling my lip curl with anticipation.  _It'll help to hit something. I don't want to think about Keith anymore. I don’t wanna think about how I just straight up can’t control what goes on in my head._

_ What’s more productive to think about is this whole issue with Zarkon's ability to track us down, and those ro-beasts of his. That’s much more productive. _

_ Why can I feel them coming? Why do they keep coming? If he knows where we are, why doesn't he just rain down upon us with full force and crush us? How am I able to feel it when they're coming, and more importantly why? How am I able to feel these… gut reactions, when something bad is approaching? It happens all the time, not only with the ro-beasts, but also when Allura and Shiro ran off at the space base…  _

_ That’s the most pressing question for sure, but there’s even more that seems just as important, like this… quintessence. That seems like a big deal. I think Coran will have the answers as to what it is and why Zarkon wants it, but I don’t really feel up to talking to him, to anyone, right now.  _

_ Then there’s that  _ **_magic_ ** _ shit, and I don’t know if Coran would have the answers to  _ **_that_ ** _ load of bull. The figure that refined the quintessence seemed to have lightning powers or something, I haven’t any clue, but it’s powerful and I’m fairly certain it isn’t mechanical/technical. I’m also confident that it’s that same power that corrupted our wormhole when we made that escape, when Zarkon ripped our lions apart, it had that creepy wrongness to it that isn’t like my gut reactions have been.  _

I stride into the training room, moving to the holographic panel on the far side and tapping its surface insistently. The room is silent, the bright blue lights illuminating the room like that of a hospital cafeteria.  _ Magic is hard to encapsulate. I spent so long writing and dreaming for magic to exist, but to actually witness it? It’s chilling. I don’t know how to feel about it, especially since I received the brunt edge. Makes me wish I had magic of my own, a level playing field. But as a fantasy whore, this does give the other side a distinct advantage that balances out with our lions, I guess, but it’s not remotely the same… is it? _

There are several training programs, a few I've done with Keith in the past, but I have yet to do one on my own; I don’t even know what most the programs are capable of. I narrow my eyes as the Altean turns into English along the keys, with the words "Commence Training Level 1" and a voice box next to it. 

I raise an eyebrow, "Commence Training level one?" As soon as I speak the words, the keyboard snaps back and I hear a metallic thud behind me. I whirl around, and before me the Gladiator rises to its feet, its single robotic eye in the center of its forehead fixing on me.  _ Oh. _

The first time we faced it was our second day in the Castle of Lions, two weeks ago now, and the memory of it gives me shivers.  _ And now I'm alone. Fuck, sure hope this level one is easier than whatever setting Allura had it on.  _

I ready my bayard, one hand readied in front of me as my lance extends in my other. The Gladiator stands unmoving, its own lance at hand extending out with slow clicks. I feel my heart pulse dangerously and I set my gaze with determination just before it rushes me. 

I roll to the side just in time to dodge its weapon, bringing up my own and blocking its upcoming attack with my arms over my head. The Gladiator swings its staff out and over my head to break away and I twirl my bayard to the side to block the blow just at the base of a bladed end. The metal clangs together with a resonating tone, and with its weapon incapacitated I kick out with my foot, hitting the Gladiator square in the chest and sending it tumbling back. The metallic shell of the Gladiator scrapes along the smooth floors with shrieking noises and I use the opportunity to rush forward and smack it upside the head with the side of my blade.

The Gladiator falls to the ground with a bash, smoke beginning to rise from a crevice in its neck before a hole in the floor opens adn swallows it down and beyond. I raise an eyebrow and take a step back as an unfamiliar voice speaks over the com, robotic, in a language I don't understand, then it follows it with "Training Level 1, complete. Commence Level 2?" 

I blink, glancing over at the keyboard before nodding, "Yeah, commence Level 2!" 

\---

"Training Level 5 complete. Commence Level 6?" The robotic voice states overhead. Sweat’s dripping down my forehead and my breath is coming in rapid, deep gasps, I quickly wipe my face on my forearm. I tossed aside my flannel after Level 3, as it was doing nothing but heating my body up more. 

I think I'm starting to get the hang of my bayard, but my sides and shoulders are aching from the failed blocks and blows I've received. After finishing level one, I felt rather confident and good because it was pretty easy, but as the levels got more difficult, the worse I did. Fighting with a lance is so fucking  _ hard _ , there are some situations where I think I’m using it correctly, but others I feel like the enemy is too close for it to be effective, or at other times the enemy is  _ annoyingly  _ fast and eludes my swipes like a cat evading a catcher.  

"Hey man." I look up with a start, letting my bayard fall to my side as I watch Lance stride into the room, his hands shoved comfortably into his pockets. He's wearing a dark blue sweatshirt with the eyes of the Blue Lion embroidered on the front like a predator gazing from the treetops in the deep of night.  _ Luckily for him blue is his color.  _

"Hey, Lance." I huff, out of breath as I perch my bayard upright and lean against it with a bark into the air, "End Training." The room makes a noise of recognition, and all is quiet as Lance approaches. 

He stops next to me, looking at me with a raised, cocky eyebrow before he grins, "You're sweaty." 

"You're observant." I answer with a raised eyebrow, letting out a pent-up breath as I lean on my bayard, "You need something?" 

Lance shakes his head, his gaze locked on mine, “I'm good. Just like… You've been acting kind of weird, and after yesterday…” He pauses, biting his lip as his eyes briefly drop to the floor, “Wanted to check in with you.” 

I pause, gripping my bayard a little tightly with my gaze glued to the floor as I mull over his question.  _ Okay, him and Shiro have both noticed it. But I can't find it within me to be angry at Lance like I was with Shiro. Maybe hitting things for the past… what, hour…? It may have really helped with my mood after all.  _

_ Still don’t want to talk about my emotions. Next best troubling thing to bring up: Zarkon. That’ll be enough of an issue, that is an actual issue, to throw him off my tracks. _

"How do you think Zarkon is tracking us?" I ask suddenly, meeting his gaze after a moment of silence. 

Lance raises an eyebrow at me, "Honestly? No idea. He's got some wicked powers, he was able to fight you and Keith off in your lions pretty good, so I'm not really surprised if he's able to do more weird stuff." He narrows his eyes at me suspiciously, “But… that’s not really what’s bothering you, isn’t it?”

I find it more and more difficult to meet his eyes, so instead I sigh, grasping my bayard before returning it to its original form, "Lance, you’re annoyingly observant.” 

Lance grins wickedly at me with a cocky expression, “I live to please.” 

I wished the joke would’ve lifted the atmosphere of the room, but it’s still thick and heavy on my shoulders as we stand in the bright silence of the training room. Finally, just to break it, keeping my thoughts fixated on Zarkon, “I... I don't know. You know how I always seem to be able to feel it just before something bad happens?" 

He raises an eyebrow at me and slowly nods, "Yeah? I just figured it was that weird voodoo thing you’ve got going on with your lion." 

I cross my arms, swallowing on the lump in my throat as I hold my bayard loosely with the tips of my fingers, "I don't know either. I… I didn't really think about it until Ulaz said that we were being tracked back there." Lance's soft blue eyes examine my face with a raised eyebrow, and I find my voice growing small, "And now… What if…  I don’t know, what if  _ I'm _ the reason Zarkon's monsters are able to find us?" I ask in a bare whisper, my gaze falling to my folded arms over my chest, "I can  _ feel  _ it when they're looking for us, like ants under my skin. I don’t even know if it’s true, I haven’t a clue how they'd be able to track me, but somehow, I… does that make any sense at all?" 

"Will," Lance murmurs softly, and suddenly his hand grasps onto my shoulder in a jarring manner. I blink up at him in surprise to see a deep frown creasing his face, "... You’re stupid." 

I blink. "What?"

Lance cocks an eyebrow at me with a slight raise in the corner of his lips, "How could Zarkon track you? He doesn't even know you."

I tilt my head at him, not entirely convinced, "How can you be sure it's not me, though? If not me, then who? Or what?" 

Lance frowns a little, slowly releasing me as he mulls over the question, “I dunno, man. I don’t think…” Lance suddenly pauses, his eyes falling to the side as he crosses his arms loosely over his chest, “You know how when we form Voltron, we kind of… feel each other for a second?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at me curiously. 

I nod, and he continues with a distracted glance to the side, "Well, when we did it back at the Blade of Marmora’s base, I felt your lion and you for a second and… I don’t know, I just got this bad feeling." He touches his stomach, just below his sternum as he murmurs softly, "Like, when you're about to walk into a one on one talk with your teacher, or you're about to walk into the simulator. I don’t know, but... I think it’s similar to what you get, isn’t it?" 

He’s asking rhetorically, but I immediately nod in understanding.  _ That's the exact feeling I get when I feel the bad things are coming. _  "It wasn't coming from you, though." Lance's voice cuts into my thoughts, and I bring my gaze back to his as he shoves his hands into his pockets, "It was coming from like.. all of us. All of our lions kind of joined together and it was one big, ugly mess of anxiety, or whatever. So... maybe you're able to feel stuff like that outside of Voltron, when we’re not all connected because-“

“-because of my connection to my lion.” I finish his sentence with a soft exhale, frowning a little before I meet Lance’s sky-blue gaze, “You’ve been getting that feeling too, though? That bad feeling?” 

“I mean, yeah, I guess.” Lance’s gaze slides to the side with a shrouded look, and after a moment he speaks as if he’s talking to himself, “I didn’t really notice it until I was in my lion, though.” Lance’s posture seems to return to normal as he waves at me with a vague wave of his hand, “Maybe you just have, like, really long range sensors that can feel when bad stuff's coming or something? I can't really explain it better than that, but that makes more sense than... well, whatever the fuck it was that you just said.” 

I swallow on the lump in my throat, casting my gaze down for a moment to think over his words.  _ I suppose that makes sense. I never got feelings like this before, back on Earth. The first time was... I think when the blue wormhole was about to open to take us to Arus. That could've my connection to my lion I suppose, but... I don't know. I'm not convinced.  _

I slowly rise to meet Lance's gaze and raise an eyebrow at him, “I didn't realize you guys could feel what I was feeling, like when we’re in our lions and whatnot…” 

Lance shrugs a little nonchalantly, "Yeah, well, I don't know. Maybe I'm just special in feeling the others, it doesn't seem to happen as much to anybody else." He grins at me with his usual charming demeanor. I allow myself to crack a smile.

"Well, you’re not alone. I do too." I answer with a head tilt, running my fingertips along my forearms as I find myself reflecting backwards, "Like… That first ro-beast we fought. I could… I could  _ feel  _ Shiro's distress, when he remembered his time in the arena. And when his lion was getting snatched up by Zarkon, I didn't notice until I… you know, felt it." 

Lance nods, swallowing a little, “Yeah. I felt it then too.” We meet each other’s gaze for a moment before Lance suddenly breaks into a teasing, lilted grin, "Then maybe we're both special." I nod in agreement, allowing myself a soft chuckle.

"Are you done being all dodgy now?" 

I blink at Lance incredulously as he raises an eyebrow at me with a head tilt. 

I curl my nose at him and immediately tense up, "What makes you think I’m being dodgy?” 

Lance raises his eyebrows at me with a  _ do-you-really-want-me-to-answer-that  _ expression. 

_ He sure picks up on my feelings faster the harder I try to hide it. I suppose we're annoyingly similar that way.  _

I quickly wave him off with a deep, dramatic sigh, “You're  _ annoying  _ when you stick your nose in my business." 

Lance grins wickedly at me and flashes a pair of finger guns, "Hey, it's what I do. My  _ mima  _ taught me well."

_ Fuck. Is there no escaping Lance’s questioning? _ I sigh in defeat as I move to sit down against the wall nearby, wrapping my arms around my knees with a pointedly annoyed face in Lance’s direction. He sits down beside me, but surprisingly he doesn’t grin, he doesn’t make an equally silly expression. Instead he looks down at my shoes, speaking in a soft tone, "I saw you the other day, dude. I could tell you’ve been… you know.” He gestures vaguely to his own face as I feel a heat building in my cheeks, “And I know it wasn’t because you were worrying about Zarkon tracking you. So…”

I find myself unable to meet Lance's eyes as he examines the side of my face from where he sits next to me, leaving his words hanging in the air. I can imagine Lance must have some younger siblings back home in Cuba, no one else is able to pick up on those signals save for siblings, well, them and cabin counselors when they’ve known a camper for a while. He’s got a very gentle big brother tone, and while it’s endearing, I find myself getting annoyed. "Shiro said the same thing." I grumble angrily under my breath, crossing my arms over my chest as I let my heels slide along the smooth white floor of the training room until my legs are stretched out in front of me. 

Lance immediately snaps back with a wicked grin, "Well yeah, we have a lot in common; we’re both handsome, and we both notice when our friends are acting weird."

I roll my eyes at him and chuckle half-heartedly before I close my eyes with a deep inhale. After holding it for a beat I let it out in a sharp rush of breath.  _ I still don't want to talk about this. But I think this is the universe telling me that I can't get away with bottling up my emotions.  _

_ Still doesn’t mean I have to like it.  _

Finally, I find the courage to speak, and without opening my eyes I feel the words spill out all on their own "I don't feel right, Lance." I answer, biting my lip, "Ever since I woke up, especially with the shit that happened the night before last, I… I don't know. I don't feel in control of myself anymore. Everything’s just so intense." 

Lance raises an eyebrow curiously, "Wait, sorry, hold on, backtrack, what do you mean, after the night before last night?" 

_ Goddamnit that’s the one thing of all that I just said that I really don’t wanna unpack.  _ "I did something stupid." I answer with a soft voice, burying my head into my hands.

“Everything you do is usually stupid, but what specifically?” Lance teases, and I shoot him a glare from between my fingers. He merely grins back at me, but it’s a little forced. 

I drop my hands to my lap, my shoulders slumping as I murmur so quietly I can barely hear myself, “I kissed Keith.”

"Oh. Shit."

I can't bring myself to look at Lance as my face grows hot, and I find myself blabbing before I can stop, "He was just being so  _ annoying,  _ saying stupid shit like it was his fault about that I got stuck in the cryo-pod, but then he was even starting to blame himself for me treating him differently! I couldn't just let him think that there's something wrong with him!" I roughly pull on my hair with a sigh, leaning my head back against the wall with a loud and dramatic sigh, "But I told him I don't expect anything, that I don't  _ want  _ anything from him after I told him I liked him and I tried to minimize the damage, but… I'm not sure if it did what it was supposed to."  

Lance blinks at me stupidly with wide eyes, his head leaning against the wall, “What do you mean, minimize what?" 

“I mean…” I bite my lip, choosing my words carefully, “I made sure he wouldn't feel pressured to do anything about my feelings for him. Which of course he shouldn't! And I just kissed him out of nowhere, like, I just violated his personal space like that and-" My gaze slides to my beaten sneakers as a deep sigh rips from my lungs, "... I’m not doing so well, though, I guess. I keep telling myself I just have to get over it, get over it, for his sake if anybody’s but  _ I can't _ -" I pause, frowning deeply as I growl deep in my throat to keep my voice from breaking, "But every time I look at him, I can't. It just... I'm so fucking angry at myself for letting it get this far, I don't want to hurt anybody on the team, especially him, but how can I not when I do shit like that?" I throw my hands in the air with an angry, growling sigh, "How else are you supposed to react to someone admitting their feelings for you than to try and validate them, I mean, right? I-" 

"Dude, what?" I halt on my rant and glance over at him as Lance waves his hands at me like one does to calm an angry child, "You’re speaking way too fast, dude. What do you mean, try and validate what?"

I feel my face grow very warm, the memory of the moment clear as day, and I find my fingertips touching my lips for a moment before I quickly shove them to my lap, "He… Well, I kissed him, but he was getting really close and he didn’t push me away… That's why I had to tell him he didn't have to try and force himself into reciprocating my feeli-" 

"Dude,  _ what?! _ " Lance practically shouts. 

I immediately clamp a hand over his mouth with a hiss, " _ Shh!! _  Do you want the  _ whole goddamn ship _ to hear?"

"Dude," Lance pulls my hand away from his mouth, but thankfully speaks in a lower register,  "That's literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I mean, it sounds to me like he kissed you back, and you think that he did that because... what, he's forcing himself to?" Lance looks at me with absolute incredulousness, his hand held before him with his palm up in the ultimate  _ bitch, what?  _ gesture, "Keith isn't the type of person who would be forced to do… well, anything! Especially if he doesn't want to. He's gonna always do his own thing. You couldn’t make him do anything even if you wanted to!" 

I blink, glancing over at Lance before shaking my head firmly, "You don't know if that's true in this case, though! Someone liking you is a whole new ball-field than just being a general rebel." 

Lance shakes his head just as forcefully, "Dude, literally, you're a stupid  _ quiznak _  if you don't think he doesn't like you after that." I curl my nose at him, but before I can argue he interrupts me, "Did he  _ say  _ he doesn't like you?" 

I huff, "You sound just like Shiro. He doesn't have to say-" 

"Wait a minute, you told  _ Shiro? _ Before  _ me? _ " Lance's eyes go wide with mock heartbreak as he clutches his chest, "I thought we were friends!" 

I roll my eyes at him despite the slight grin that he attempts to tease out of me, "He cornered me! What else was I supposed to say? Apparently, how I'm feeling might as well be written on my fucking forehead." I grumble angrily, holding my head in my hands with a desperate gesture before slumping against the wall more heavily.

We’re sitting in silence for a little while, merely staring at the floor before I let out a sigh, "And now with this whole thing, I don't know what's gonna happen. There's just a lot going on and I'm not sure what the end game can be at this point, you know?" I turn to him with a slight pout, "Even if he does like me, what're we gonna do? Fuck? Here? Now? Or even wilder, date?" I run an anxious hand through my hair before throwing my arms out wide helplessly, letting them fall to the floor, "The universe depends on us. We might not even live to see the end of the war, and it’s just..." I speak in a small tone, and I feel my eyes fall.  _ We might not even live to see the end of the war. _

"Well that's a little morbid.” Lance grumbles softly under his breath, but even despite the softness I can hear his voice is masked. I snake my gaze up to Lance’s and I can  _ see  _ the worry, the fear, seizing his throat as he stares into space. 

_ I should’ve fucking known, this is exactly the thing that had him shutting down back at the party in the Castle. That was  _ **_not_ ** _ the right thing to say. _

“Shit, I… I’m sorry. You’re right.” I murmur, raising my head a little and touching Lance’s shoulder, “Who knows what’ll happen. It may take years, weeks, months, whatever, but we’re definitely going home eventually.” 

Lance’s eyes rise to mine, and they’re glossed over as they’re no doubt locked onto his family in Cuba, “Dude-”

“I’m an existentialist.” I cut him off with a slight, lackluster smile, “I always think worst case scenario. But reality is, it won’t get to that, because we’ll be kicking and screaming the whole way, as a team.” His gaze doesn’t seem to register so I grip his shoulder a little tighter with a slight shake, murmuring, “Right?” 

Lance takes a slight breath, but after a moment he smirks a little, “You’re starting to sound like Shiro.” I roll my eyes and playfully smack his arm.  _ Okay, minor crisis averted.  _

We sit quietly, disquiet unsettled by our attempts at teasing, but it remains nonetheless.

After a long while, Lance flickers his gaze over to me, “So… You kissed Keith.” 

“ _ Yeah.  _ I’m a fucking idiot.” 

“Kinda.” Lance teases with a slight lilt, but it’s lacking in the true punch as Lance perches his foot on the floor, resting his elbow on his knee as he turns to face me more fully, “So, what are you gonna do about it?” 

I blink, glancing over at Lance with a raised eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“Keith.” Lance looks at me with an expectant look, and when I meet his expression with a look of confusion he sighs loudly, “You know, what’re you gonna do about  _ Keith,  _ Will?” 

I look at him with wide, horrified eyes, “God, nothing! What’re you, crazy?” 

“A little, yeah.” Lance smirks a little more, poking my shoulder with a long finger, “But for real, you can’t tell me now that you don’t think Keith likes you back, right? So, what’re you gonna do about it?” 

I frown, and I can feel my jaw gritting without me meaning to.  _ What am I gonna do about it?  _

“I told you. Nothing.” 

Lance blinks in shock, throwing his hands in the air dramatically, “What do you  _ mean,  _ **_nothing_ ** _?!”  _ His voice is loud and incredulous, like he can’t  _ believe  _ I have the  _ audacity.  _

“I mean, I’m not going to do anything about it.” I answer curtly yet softly to encourage Lance to keep his voice low, and as the words boil into my mouth I know that I can’t meet Lance’s eyes when I inevitably speak them. I flicker my gaze to my lap, intensely focusing on the splatter of freckles along my left forearm.  _ I have to explain myself. I have to find the words to how I feel and I’ve never been good at that. _

My voice is soft, so soft and vulnerable I wish I have better self-control so I could hide my feelings better,  _ that’s what started this mess,  _ “If Keith likes me, then he shouldn’t. I never should have taken that step into someplace... someplace that only leads to a world of hurt.” 

“You can’t possibly kn-“ I cut off Lance immediately, and I surprise myself at how dark of a turn my tone takes without me meaning to, “ _ You don’t understand _ , Lance. I am not a good person to be with. I  _ can’t  _ mess around with Keith, he has no idea… You don’t have any _ idea _ -” I spit the words out like they’re acid, but before I spill too much my throat clenches almost unwillingly, my body’s trying to bottle up my own emotion and fear.

I’m so close to saying it. I’m  _ so close _ to disclosing to Lance about why,  _ why  _ I can’t be with Keith, so so close that my voice clenches and my hand shakes.  _ No. No, I can’t. I can’t dredge that up now, especially now, with Lance, who doesn’t know the magnitude of what I could say. It isn’t fair to him.   _

Lance doesn’t speak for a moment, but I can feel his gaze is soft and glued to the side of my face with a crease of worry along his brow. He breaks the silence with a soft voice, “Well, help me understand, then.” 

I feel my throat seize and I swear that it’s like my own body is trying to choke me to death. I take a ragged breath, deep through my nose and I find the fingernails of my right hand digging into the scar in my palm, so hard that I knew, if the patch of skin wasn’t already to scarred and thickened from the many times I’ve used this grounding technique, it would’ve bled. 

“You have no idea what you’re asking me, Lance.” I whisper hoarsely. Any louder and I don’t trust that I would do anything other than cry. 

I’ve never told anyone about what happened between Damien and I, specifically the… well. Not even my parents, who were the first people I ran to when I got my first kiss when I was 13. I didn’t want to hurt them, I knew that they would somehow feel responsible and it would haunt them; it wouldn’t be helping me at all, it would only thrust the burden of my hardships onto them and tell them to deal with it as well as I, and that’s not productive in the slightest. I never considered telling anyone back on Earth, not even my parents, not even Conner, and it sincerely scares me how  _ seriously _ I’m considering opening that can of worms to Lance. 

_ He doesn’t know what he’s asking. He doesn’t know the magnitude of what I carry. I can’t ask him to carry that with me, not when we were absolute  _ **_strangers_ ** _ two weeks ago. Why the hell is that an option right now? Jesus Christ, what’s going on in my head that I’m thinking, ‘Hey, why not unpack one of the greatest traumatic experiences of my life so I can explain why I can’t be with Keith, either to just fuck or date because it all comes back to that piece of shit Garrison boy-’ _

Suddenly, Allura's voice comes so loudly over the com that both Lance and I jump, "Paladins, can you come to the bridge? I need your assistance." 

Lance and I sit in silence, unmoving for a beat. I take a shaky breath and grab my flannel from where I abandoned it against the wall and pull it on, grateful to have an excuse to move and face away from Lance so I can pull my expression back under control. I feel something heavy in the heart pocket of my flannel as I realize Lance hasn’t moved, so to goad him on to get past the conversation with a tone so conversational that it surprises me, “We should go see what Allura needs.” 

“… Okay.” Lance answers in a half-convinced manner, rising to his feet and dusting his hands off on the hem of his sweatshirt. We walk out of the training room together, but before we turn towards the bridge Lance touches my elbow with a gentle hand. 

“Hey, Will?” I try not to flinch, worried with every fiber of my being at what he could say as I meet his gaze. They’re glittering with worry, like the cresting wave about to crash on the beach as he speaks in a gentle tone, “I know you’re not ready to talk about it, whatever it is you mentioned.” His gaze for once doesn’t waver from mine; they’re warm, they’re firm, and they’re unmoving as he states with certainty, “But when you’re ready, I’ll be here.” 

For about five solid seconds I struggle to breathe; my chest is filled with such immediate, pleasant warmth it’s like a shot of liquor straight into my feelings. I take a soft breath and meet Lance’s gaze with a look of appreciation that I cannot express fully with words alone as I murmur, “Thanks Lance.”

He merely shrugs, and gives me a slight nudge with his elbow, “Come on, let’s go see what Allura wants before we get too emotional.” 

We turn towards the bridge and I can’t help but crack a wide grin, “What, want to forget this bonding moment, too?” 

Lance blinks at me stupidly for about ten seconds before he realizes what I mean and he groans dramatically, “Hey, I  _ don’t  _ remember! I’ve told Keith  _ a hundred times-! _ ” 

We mercilessly tease one another as we head up towards the bridge, I think as compensation for the serious talk we just had with one another. I pull on the weight in my flannel idly, and when I glance down I realize it’s the White Lion’s stone.  _ Oh, there it is. I kind of thought I’d lost it.  _

_ I should start wearing this more often, now, since I’ve almost died twice. Though, I doubt it would’ve helped if I drowned, but in the last fight I probably wouldn’t have blacked out if I had it.  _

_ Wait… I did have it, though. I remember, I did have it, I remember thinking it was going to heal me… Maybe it’s the reason I survived? It certainly must have helped, maybe it just didn’t work until after I blacked out. _

Lance and I walk onto the bridge as I pull the White Lion’s stone over my head, all the others have already collected. I take a deep breath when I spot Keith, standing with his arms crossed next to Shiro with his usual, deeply pensive look, and I have to force myself to look  _ anywhere else. Yeah, it’ll take a while for things to return to normal, especially now that I’m thinking… no, that’s too dangerous to think of, of Keith liking me back. True or not there’s nothing good that’ll come from this. No, bad Will. Back into your cage, you stupid gremlin.  _

Pidge stands beside Shiro with hair that is wild and askew, all strands of her hair seem to be pointed off to one side or the other like she was just awoken from a really hard nap.  _ She probably hasn’t gotten a lot of sleep; I know every waking moment that she isn’t training she’s searching for ways for finding her family, and that’s exhausting in more ways than one.  _

_ With all that’s going on in her life, I’m really glad when we had our surprise one on one yesterday that she didn’t mention how much like shit I looked. I know she must’ve, but she didn’t seem phased in the slightest. I’m eternally grateful, the last thing I wanted to talk about was… well, yeah. I think talking to her brought me back to the present, reminding me that there’s more than what’s going on this ship than just my personal problems. It was grounding, refreshing… Invigorating to help Pidge, if only just a little.  _

I'm snapped back to the present as Allura turns to us with a commanding tone, "Good, you're all here! I need your help." She waves her hand at her holographic panel from where she stands in her central circle and it shows a layout of the exterior of the Castle, or at least, what looks like the exterior. I recognize the outline. "There's a particle node that's off calibration over here on the port side of the ship." She expands the image, pointing with a slender finger to the location, "I need you all to head out there and recalibrate it for Coran and I while we attune the sensors from here." 

"We're on it." Shiro replies with a deft nod, turning to us as we're gathered about with a determined gaze, like this is as serious as the mission to save Allura, "Let's suit up." 

_ Alright, just… walking outside in the dead of space to fix a node. This is mild. I can handle this. Maybe it’ll give me some much needed [ractice in maneuvering in zero gravity.  _ I take my elevator to my lion from the bridge to get to the hangers, not sparing any glances at the rest of the team. When I arrive, I stride to where I keep my Voltron suit in a little room off to the side of my hanger and pull it on after returning my bayard into the suit. I pull off my pants and my flannel, as it's too hot in my suit after working in the training room, but as I step into the suit I glance down at the White Lion’s stone.  _ I guess I gotta get used to wearing it around with my suit, even though it’s kind of awkward.  _ With my helmet under my arm I head into the main hanger. 

I meet with the others as we all load into the surface projector, and although it’s not the intended purpose it’s to help us head out into open space without launching us out like a potato gun due to the pressure differences. We close our helmet visors and activating our oxygen converters as the air in the elevator begins to get sucked out like a high-pitched whine.

Slowly but surely, the gravity check from the Castle is lost as the environment within the elevator as it shifts to match the exterior, empty space outside. I haven't experienced the feeling since we infiltrated the secret Galra base just… what, two days ago? Three? My legs lift off of the floor, and even though I'm entirely motionless I get this feeling of weightlessness that I've only ever gotten on a roller coaster. It's… kind of like floating in water without the feeling on your skin. Free falling without the actual rush. The surprising stillness makes the jolt of it less terrifying, but still a little nerve racking, and what’s even worse is that this is definite zero gravity, unlike on the Moon and the area around the secret Galra base where there was at least a little bit. I try not to get too nervous about it, even though it's… kind of a cool feeling, actually. But I’ve seen enough space horror thrillers to know how wrong things can go on such a minor task such as this. That must be why Shiro’s expression is so grim and focused from where he floats beside me, his prosthetic hand gripping the wall to keep himself still as the gravity lessens. He’d definitely know, unlike the rest of us; he has been to space before. Multiple times, actually.   _ I remember now, before Kerberos he was one of the first pilots to go straight through the asteroid belt without a guidance system when it failed, he’s the youngest lead pilot they’ve ever had, too, I think. He’s been on at two to five missions because he was… he’s basically just the best they had.  _

After a few seconds, the white-noise of the hissing air dies down, and Coran's voice screeches over the com, "Equilibrium reached in the chamber, open the door whenever you're ready!" Shiro makes a noise of confirmation as he presses the elevator door button, and the grand expanse of space opens up before us. 

My breath is stolen as I try to count the stars, overwhelmed at the sheer  _ nothingness _ yet massive amount of  _ everything _ that rolls out before us, it’s horrifying to be surrounded by so much nothing, like getting dropped into the middle of the ocean with no idea how far is above and how far is below. I got this same feeling of awe when I would stare at the horizon where the ocean and the sky met back home, but this is completely next level, this is literally  _ nothing  _ yet also  _ everything _ . 

_ I'll never get used to this.  _

"Alright, the calibrator is up here." Pidge snaps my attention to the here and now, and I watch as she rotates out of the elevator to grasp onto the outside of the ship in a slow manner, like she's wading through syrup. She pushes off her hold on the outside of the ship and launches herself up, her body gliding through space almost in slow motion along the smooth white surface of the Castle towards the out of calibration pylon's location. The others move to follow with the same, slow, practiced turns.  _ Right, they’re literally trained for this. _ After a moment I move to do the same. 

"Let's hurry up with these repairs," Shiro commands firmly over the com, "Zarkon could always be here at any moment." The outside is smooth, and it's hard to get a good grip, but slowly, I manage to meet the others, clustered around a pylon sticking out of the ship with several unfamiliar buttons on the outside. And wires. And bolts.  _ Christ. I hope Pidge or Hunk knows what to do with this, ‘cause I sure don't. Maybe Allura can tell them how? Or Coran? How do you calibrate a pylon? What the fuck- _

"Okay, panel's up. Now what?" Hunk asks as we hover around the pylon. I keep my distance so I'm not in the way, because I know better than to try and mess with something I don't understand. 

"Very simple." Coran answers over the com with a confident tone, "Just loosen the blaxums on the subtleflange." 

Hunk stares blankly at the pylon, a small screen next to several buttons flickering in Altean before he mumbles, "... Could you be more specific?"

"Sorry Hunk," Allura answers gently, "He means the poklons on the agroclams." 

We blink at each other for a moment before Hunk sighs, "No, that doesn't help." 

"Easy, Hunk, I got this!' Lance smirks confidently, pushing Hunk out of the way to stand in front of the pylon. Hunk steadies himself with a burst of his pack as Lance raises a cocky eyebrow at the panel, pressing several buttons and turning a knob on the right hand side. Suddenly, the soft blue of the pylon flares a bright and angry red, the light coursing along the entire side of the ship radiating from the pylon’s position.

Lance blinks stupidly, "Uh oh, that can't be good!" 

“Yeah, no shit, honey!” I snap in response, spinning around in a circle to see how far the red flashing reaches. It seems to be from beneath the exterior, bright scarlet at regular intervals in the general area, about as big as a classroom. Maybe… a tenth of the Castle?

"No, not the smalters, the poklons!" Allura cries over the com.

Coran huffs in response, "No, no, it's the blaxums!" 

"What are you  _ talking about _ ?" Keith growls in frustration over the com as Pidge lowers herself to the angry red pylon. She flickers her gaze across the buttons and symbols with a studious gaze, and after a beat she presses another button, and twists two of the knobs on the left side after mere seconds of inspection.

The angry, flashing red light suddenly dies out, and the pylon makes a soothing, chiming sound as it sinks back into the ship. Pidge grins, "There, fixed!" 

Allura's voice is full of respect, "Well done, Pidge!" 

Pidge's eyes are starry as she inspects the place where the pylon fell, "The tech on this ship never ceases to amaze me! It's so mathematically elegant!" She runs her fingertips along the surface, completely seamless to the point I never would’ve known the pylon was there had I not seen it myself, "Its fit is a hundred times more frictionless than any exoskeleton we have on Earth!" 

I raise an eyebrow, "Keep it in your pants, Pidge." I joke with a silly grin. 

Pidge doesn't seem to hear me as she sighs, "It's just so... beautiful!" 

Lance is unimpressed, floating beside her with one foot touching the side of the ship, "It's not a sunset, Pidge." 

"You're right." Pidge answers with a shrug, gazing down at the Castle, "A billion sunsets happen everyday. Some genius engineer actually  _ built  _ this, and there can only ever be one until they build another. Isn't that so cool?" 

With a sudden cry of surprise, Hunk stammers, "Ah! What the…?" 

I turn over to look at him, and see the side of his helmet is covered in what looks like… gray-white snow? I blink and turn to see several globs floating towards us through space, gently moving as if on an unseen breeze past us. 

"Alright, we're prepared for this." Shiro states in a serious tone. He touches the wrist of his right arm and holds up the small, cafeteria tray size, black and purple particle shield in his suit to block as one clump gently smushes itself against the barrier, "Remember your rogue projectile cluster training from the Garrison." 

I watch as the others summon their shields, and I can't help but snicker, "Oh yes, my favorite training at the Garrison, you know, the one I never went to. Right up there with my favorite class, Space 101-" 

"Wow, you're awfully sassy." Lance laughs at me as I summon my own small shield, touching the inside of my right wrist just as a small clump lands against the white, particle barrier surface. It doesn't seem like anything bad, it seems rather harmless, actually. I touch some of it experimentally and find that it doesn't stick to my suit, but it does rip apart if you force it too, kind of gooey. As I inspect it close I notice that when clumped together I can see the substance is glowing, lighting up softly at regular intervals like a heartbeat.

"First, we're gonna need a temporary shelter-" Shiro starts with an academic tone, and then all of a sudden a clump of the space snow soars past me and hits Shiro in the back of the head. He blinks and turns with an unamused expression towards the source.

Lance grins sheepishly, "Whoops, sorry Shiro, I was trying to hit Keith." 

No sooner did the words leave his mouth than did another clump soar past me and strike him square in the visor. He flails, the force of the strike pushing him slightly backwards like he was shoved backwards while sitting in a chair. I turn back with growing amusement to Keith, who already has another ball of space snow at hand. He's smirking at Lance with an eyebrow raised from behind his crimson particle shield, chuckling under his breath, "Like that?" 

My heart stutters a little in my chest.  _ That smirk is fucking attractive. _ _ Just watch, on my obituary they're gonna say my cause of death was Keith's fucking smirk. _

Hunk cries out in glee as he snatches a clump that’s floating past, "Yes! Squishy asteroid fight!" He hurls his clump at Pidge mercilessly. I swipe up some of the space snow from my shield in preparation for the coming battle as she immediately cackles wickedly and twists to the side to dodge it. I feel a soft smack on the left side of my head, white-gray smush now covering my visor. I wipe it off quickly and turn accusingly towards Lance, whose arm is extended towards me from his throw. I can’t help but laugh as I send a clump of space snow in my fist hurtling at him through space, hitting him square in the shoulder as he attempts to dodge. I quickly grab for another clump flying by as another glob flies my way. 

A flash of gray-white emerges from the corner of my eye and I twist out of the way just in time with the help of my pack, wailing my newly acquired space snow ball at the source. I whirl clumsily, waving my arms to turn and face forward again as my throw had thrown me off balance, but once I’m back to normal I see that my strike had hit Keith directly in the chest. I hear him make a noise of shock and appallment, I can’t help but snicker over the com, "Gotta do better than that, Kogane!" 

Hunk flies at me with two clumps at hand, grinning wildly as he sends them flying. They both strike me in the neck and in the chest as he snickers,  _ "Boo-yah!" _ I whirl a little in empty space from the force, but I engage my pack to stabilize myself from the drive-by. ”Count your days, Hunk!” I laugh through my threat, the words falling flat as I’m seized with a laughing fit. I don't remember the last time I saw snow, I forgot how much  _ fun  _ it can be, especially with friends.

"Alright, guys!" Shiro chuckles in amusement, his visor’s still streaked with the white-gray space snow as he waves his hands to call our space-snowball fight to an end.  _ Pfft, not if I can help it.  _ I turn towards Shiro with a clump at hand, and throw it as hard as I can in response. The space snow hits him square in the face and he immediately whirls towards me, stabilizing himself with his pack so he’s barely reeling from the strike. Beneath the snow his face breaks into a wicked grin, "Oh,  _ now it's on! _ " He holds up his shield and hurtles a space snowball at me from his safety behind it. 

_ You wanna play that way? Let’s play.  _ I laugh maniacally and summon my bayard, holding up both sides to summon my big boy shield. The gray-white snow from the others shots collide against it, and I hear Hunk complaining over the com, "Aww, come on, that's no fair!" 

_ “I’m invincible, motherfuckers!” _ I laugh maniacally, watching as Hunk, Lance, and Shiro’s snowballs splatter across the white particle barrier beneath my palms with gleeful satisfaction.

Suddenly, a hand smacks the front of my face from behind me and I'm blinded completely by space snow. I make a startled noise and wipe it off with a hand, and as soon as my barrier falls two more opportunity strikes hit me in the chest. I whirl about with the snow on my hand from the attacks, and wipe it on my attacker in a counterattack. Keith, who's grinning back at me with a brilliant laugh, shoots me with wicked smirk, "Is that better,  _ Lancaster _ ?" 

I narrow my eyes at him challengingly when I see the movement reflected in his visor, someone’s form, Hunk’s based on the yellow accents, preparing to fire another snowball from behind me. I duck just in time, but instead of the snowball hitting me it strikes Keith directly in the face. He makes a noise of utter shock as I recover, and I find myself laughing so hard at his dumbfounded expression that there are tears in my eyes, "You should see your face!  _ Oh my god!  _ Good one, Hunk!" 

"Hmm… I don't think these are asteroids." I hear Pidge murmur over the com, "Coran, I'm gonna need a containment unit!" 

He responds after a moment's hesitation, "Just a tick!"

Lance has now taken up to hiding behind Hunk's form as a shield, wailing on Shiro now from behind him as Shiro blocks his fire with his shield.  _ He’s quite open to me from here, though. _ I glance over at Keith with a raised eyebrow and wipe my hand across his snow-covered visor for more glowing ammo, and hurl it at Lance with the twist of a baseball pitcher.  _ Easy to throw one when there’s no gravity to make things complicated. _

He lets out a cry of shock as it collides into his shoulder and flies out from behind Hunk, leaving Shiro open to attack him. I laugh, glancing over at Keith with a brilliant smile to make a snarky remark only to find he's merely staring at me with that expression, that weird look in his eyes that’s kinda wide and kinda perplexed but mostly…  _ weird _ , I can’t read it for the life of me. I blink at him with a raised eyebrow, "What? Space-snow on my face?" 

His gaze flickers away as Allura speaks over the com, "It appears to be some sort of hyper-resilient spore!" Off to the side I notice Pidge, who floats nearby with a clump in her hands as she closely inspects it. 

She curls her nose to push up her glasses, "This bioluminescent pulsing doesn't seem natural." I move over to her as a small cylinder, white and Altean, floats to Pidge, no doubt the containment unit Coran sent. Pidge places the snow-spore thing inside as she murmurs thoughtfully, "It appears to be programmed by some sort of code?"

Hunk comes out of his battling reverie, glancing over at Pidge with a glowing, spore clump at hand, "A code, from who?" Keith takes advantage of his distraction and lobs a clump at him, hitting him in the side of his helmet. Hunk makes a salty, bitter noise as he returns to defense, throwing a clump in retaliation back at Keith. He pushes on me to dodge to the side, and I can’t help but laugh giddily in delight as I activate my pack to keep from getting knocked back.

"I don't know." Pidge stares at the clump within the containment unit with a fascinated expression, "I mean, it makes no sense, you can't program a spore, but..." 

"Well," Shiro says as he turns from the battle with a paternal expression, "If anybody can figure it out, it's you, Pidge." 

Lance wails a spore-ball across space as an opportunity attack and it strikes Shiro square in the side of the head, sending him tumbling a little through space. I can't stop laughing when I hear his surprised grunt, doubling over at his sheer expression. "Nice shot, Lance!" I call joyously. 

"Before that, everyone needs to come in for decontamination." Allura commands over the com. 

After the last attack Shiro begins to rein us in, like cats, back towards the ship. It takes a surprising amount of time, considering we're in the zero gravity of space  _ and  _ distracted, but eventually we all get back into the elevator, covered in various quantities of the apparent space-snow-spore...thing. I sling some off of my helmet as the elevator flashes red for a moment, speaking in robotic Altean. We all look up with raised eyebrows as water comes pouring down from overhead in mingling holes, like we’re in a shower. 

"Hot, hot, hot, hot!" Pidge cries in surprise, hopping out of the direct stream as the spores slide off of our armor and to the floor, getting sucked down a drain between my feet. I turn around in circles to ensure that the water gets all the spore material off, I can feel the heat of the water through my suit, but it's not so much hot as pleasantly warm from within the protection of my space suit that it’s really quite nice. 

The water suddenly stops to a dribble after a few minutes, and from the two sides of the elevator comes soapy currents of water splashing out onto us, filling the room with bubbles that I can smell through my helmet, table salt and chlorine. Lance makes a soapy beard on his visor with a bright grin, and Hunk happily dances under the steady, powerful stream of water, his armor glistening like a butter smeared, white pan. I snicker, the glee of the space-spore battle still pulsing vibrantly on my mind as I turn and eye Pidge, unsuspecting beside me as she’s inspecting a falling bubble. I splash Pidge with some water which she doesn't appreciate, turning to shoot me a playful glare and a reciprocating splash as I respond with a shit-eating grin.

The soapy water trickle abruptly stops as the last of the water’s sucked down the drain below, and the water from up above turns on again. However, now I'm noticing that the water is no longer going down the drain anymore, but is rising, and at a seriously fast rate at that it’s already getting up to my ankles. My heart immediately races, and I take a floundering step back as the water sloshes up the sides of the elevator chamber. "Uh, is it supposed to be doing this?" 

"I think so." Shiro answers from where he stands calmly in the center, sticking his head under the raining water to get the excess soap off his helmet, but I can't stop my lungs from constricting. I find myself turning in circles for an exit, a way to let the water drain out-

"Hey, Will, it's okay." I blink and snap back to the present. Shiro has his hands on my shoulders, his gaze warm and gentle. The water is up to our waist now, and rising. "You can breathe in your suit." He murmurs gently, giving me a meaningful expression.

"I-I know." I answer with a deep frown, swallowing on the lump in my throat as I avoid his gaze, instead staring down at the water. It's as high as my waist. Next to me, Lance splashes Hunk with a laugh, who immediately splashes him back in retaliation.  _ Breathe. You can breathe. It's okay.  _

The water level continues to rise, it’s at my middle. I know I’m fixating on it. I know I should be join with the splashing tournament the others have engaged in, they’ve even roped Shiro into it, but I can't focus on anything save for the water’s constant rise.  _ You have your suit. You can breathe. Relax, this isn’t a big deal. This isn’t a big deal. _

The water level is now at my chin, and I find myself treading in order to stay up. The others sink underneath happily and I can hear Hunk and Pidge laughing in joy as the water thrashes through our coms. My head bumps the ceiling, and I feel a shock of fear spike through my blood to the point that I’m launched out of my own body like through a cannon rocket.  _ The icy grip of water in my hair, under my skin, in my lungs, choking me, I’m pounding on the glass but I’m alone, I’ve dropped the showerhead, I can't get out, I'm gonna die here- _

Suddenly, a hand grabs my ankle and yanks me down under. I let out a cry of surprise, and instinctively kick out, holding my breath as I go underwater.

"Breathe."

I open my eyes and meet Keith's, inexpressive, violet-gray gaze, my lungs are already burning for air, was I holding my breath? He taps my visor with a finger, his eyebrows setting as he repeats in a surprisingly conversational tone, like he’s reminding me about an upcoming quiz, "Will, breathe." 

My lungs ache, and without my consent I open my mouth in desperation for air. 

Oxygen fills my lungs, and I take a deep breath. 

My fear slowly subsides as the room is now completely filled with water, everyone’s movements vibrate in the space and creating ripples as they thrash and play.  _ I can breathe. It's okay. I can breathe.  _

I know my fear's irrational. I can feel that it’s irrational, and frankly, now that I'm under water with the others, I feel incredibly stupid and lame.  _ All this because I almost drowned in the shower. Nothing heroic or cool about that. But it’s okay. I can breathe. _

I meet Keith's inexpressive gaze once I've caught my breath, sweet delicious breath, before I speak very softly, "Thanks." 

With a loud whir, the drain at the bottom suddenly re-opens. The water is sucked down in a tight whirlpool, and us with it. I brace myself on the floor on my feet just in time as the water level lowers rapidly. I stand upright as the water’s down to my shoulders and decreasing steadily as the others recover, with various levels of success. Hunk nearly topples over as the water sucks him down, barreling into Lance and causing him to cry out in surprise with a whiny tenor,  _ "Hunk!" _

The water completely drains, and from the side of the room massive vents open up, and for a moment all is silent before violent wind crashes into us with a loud, dull roar.

I brace against the sudden push as Pidge and Lance cling to Hunk in an attempt to not get blown away by the powerful push of the fan. Water strips from the outside of our suits, splattering against the far wall and getting sucked off and away. The powerful white noise is incredibly soothing, and I find myself closing my eyes and allowing the push of the breeze to settle my frayed nerves.  _ Geez, that was embarrassing. At least the others didn’t seem to notice, save for Shiro and Keith… but whatever, it’s fine, it’s over so it’s fine. _ A few minutes later the fan dies, and the room feels eerily quiet after its constant loud roar diminished everything else. The doors into the Castle open with a soft slide, and the light blue and white light filtered through the air welcomes us. 

I let out a burst of air once we leave the elevator, taking off my helmet as it now shines brightly in the soft blue Altean lights. Pidge turns and disappears into her hanger as soon as she’s out, no doubt to investigate the sample spore that she thinks is coded.  _ That’s so wild I can’t even begin to fathom. _ Shiro turns back towards the bridge as Hunk, Lance, and Keith head towards the lounge. I find myself hesitating to follow.

_ I'm... embarrassed.  _

_ I just freaked out for no fucking reason. I feel dumb as hell, but Keith... grounded me. He grabbed me and pulled me down and told me to breathe. Shiro tried at first, but it's not like I didn't know I could breathe. I knew. I just... I couldn't make myself do it. The memory was too strong. But Keith snapped me to the present with reminders of that reality, that I wasn't a prisoner in my own head. That's what really helped. He grounded me.  _ As I think of him my gaze inadvertently zeroes in on him. His back’s to me as he strides alongside Lance and Hunk.  _ He grounded me. _

He must've felt my gaze because he looks away from the pair as he pulls off his helmet, turning in my direction. My pulse flutters in my throat as his hair falls from the confines in dark obsidian waves, they curl just under where the helmet would go so they twist instead from being tucked under. He glances at the others, his expression is pensive and deep in thought before his eyes slide to mine, and in a smooth movement he pulls away from them and strides back over to me with an unreadable expression.  _ Oh fuck oh fuck oh fu- _

_ I can't look away, and I can't escape. Fuck me, why am I such a gay disaster. You had one job, Will, and it was to not be gay. Failed step one.  _

I hold my helmet under one arm as the elevator behind me sinks back into the Castle floor, my boots feel like they’re strapped with lead. Keith stops just in front of me with his helmet rested under his arm, his armor gleams in the light from the fresh wash. The voices of the others fade away as they leave and the doors shut, and all is silent as we merely stare at each other. His expression is unreadable, I haven't the faintest idea why he even came over to me when I was looking at him, but they glimmer with purpose.  _ Maybe. Fuck if I know, I can't figure out anything Keith's thinking, ever. I’ve never come across someone so expressive yet so unreadable. _

I bite my lip, and it takes a few seconds before I find the courage to speak, "Thanks. For what you did back there." 

Keith raises an eyebrow at me, like he’s surprised, before he shrugs nonchalantly, "It's no problem." He pauses and fixes me with a pensive gaze, and his tone grows rather gentle as he murmurs, "It really freaked you out." 

My gaze falls to my feet, and I rub my arm slowly as I shift my helmet to rest more comfortably against my hip, "Yeah. I… I didn't know it would do that. If I knew in advance, I think I wouldn't have been so  _ embarrassingly _ scared." I laugh a little uncomfortably as I rub the back of my neck, and I can feel a blush rising in my cheeks. "It was a pretty dumb thing to get wigged about, but that whole thing… you know, Sendak and his crystal fucking with the Castle, it fucked me up.” 

"Yeah, you and Shiro both." Keith murmurs with a slight frown, looping his arms around his helmet pressed against his chest as he glances down at the floor with a pensive look.  _ He looks like he wants to say something _ .

He doesn't. He stays quiet, his gaze never meeting mine as we stand in silence for several Mississippi's. 

I find the will to speak to break it, “Hey, I've been meaning to ask you…” Keith's eyes snap up to meet mine so instantaneously that my voice dies in my throat. My courage’s lost now that he's looking at me.  _ How does he have so much power over me with something so simple as his eyes... his fucking gorgeous eyes.  _ **_Fuck_ ** _. I'm gay.  _

"Yeah?" He asks with a raised eyebrow. I try to rebuild my courage from the ground up but I have no clue where I started.

_ What would I even say? 'Hey, sorry about that whole thing last night. So, do you actually like me?' That's fucking stupid. What am I thinking? What the fuck are the possible options in that? But Lance’s got me thinking… After what I said... Shiro said that Keith told him that I wanted nothing to do with him. Maybe... _

_ Did... did my own self sabotage cause Keith to think I rescind my feelings? Jesus Christ, he probably thinks I played him, he showed me how he felt and then I kicked him in the gut for it and ran away. Oh man, what if Lance was right? Now I can never say that otherwise it’ll blast his ego into a new category. _

_ I ruined it by trying to fix it. There's no way he likes me now, even if he did before. But maybe I can at least apologize for that miscommunication, right? Yeah, there we go, good place to start. _

“I uh…” My gaze falls, and I rub the back of my neck uncomfortably, "I'm sorry. About the other night. I just got a little freaked out, I guess, I don't really… This doesn't really happen to me often." I feel Keith's gaze boring into me, but I can't bring myself to meet them. My gaze is focused on my helmet, the smooth white lines melting into silver…  _ I’m hyper-fixating.  _

“... Jeez, now I'm making excuses, that’s not what I mean, what I mean is…” I huff, I can feel the blush burning into my face as I stammer, “… I'm sorry for overstepping bounds, putting words in your mouth ‘cause I can’t turn this thing off.” I gesture idly to my temple with a self depricating laugh. 

"Yeah." Keith's voice sounds almost confused, endearingly so. I decide to risk it and glance up at him. He's watching me with a guarded gaze, and I feel my pulse stutter.  _ Fuck this dude, how is he able to induce a physical reaction from me just by  _ **_looking_ ** _ at me, this is fucking stupid- _

"Yeah… what?" I ask with a slight frown, fiddling my fingers along the edge of my helmet to keep me grounded in the present moment and not get lost in his eyes.  _ Fuck.  _

Keith flickers his gaze down to my hands at the movement before they slide back up to my expression, which is getting harder and harder to keep neutral, "Yeah, you did put words in my mouth." 

I find myself blinking stupidly at him.  _ Oh fuck.  _

_ Oh this is a terrible idea. Oh man, don’t do it, Will, don’t you do it-  _ I bite my lip as I feel my gaze shifting down to my helmet, and the words spill out without any thought behind them, "So… If… Hypothetically…”  _ FUCK.  _ “If we could go back in time, and I just told you how I felt…” My voice stalls in my throat, and in that moment I swear my face could not be redder, "... What would you say?" 

_ Why the fuck am I asking this, what the fuck is wrong with me, the answer shouldn’t matter, you cannot seriously be considering- _

Keith's completely silent. He hasn’t even moved. I risk a glance upward. His eyes are glued to mine, unwavering and still like the dark violet nebulas of space, and my pulse quickens.  _ Why isn't he saying anything? He's just staring.  _

Slowly, his hardened gaze softens, little by little, and for once he's the one who breaks our eye contact as they flicker down to the floor, "... I don't know." 

_ Oh.  _

_ Oh my god. My fucking first instincts were fucking right. I knew it. Fuck, I knew it,  _ **_I knew it_ ** _ , I knew- _

"Okay." I answer in a gentle tone. Keith's eyes flicker to mine with an edge of uncertainty. I find that a gentle smile is easier to pull on than it’s been in a while as I pat his shoulder with an amicable tone, "That's fine, you don't have to say anything. Thanks for your honesty, I really appreciate-"

"Guys, you gotta come check this out!" We both bolt in shock as Pidge's voice pierces over the com, "Come to my hanger!" 

We stare at each other in shock for a moment, and the interruption allows my mind to wrap around what just happened. I let my hand fall back to my side.  _ He… he doesn't actually like me.  _

_ I guess all that worry about it for nothing. But at least I know now, instead of constantly wondering. Shuts down a lot of doors that best remain closed.  _

"Guess we should go check that out." I say, and I surprise myself at how conversational my voice is, how steady I am as I move to walk past Keith and towards the Green Lion's hanger. 

I thought, knowing the truth, I'd be wrecked when how I feel isn't reciprocated. But, now… I feel strangely at peace.  _ There are no more questions behind it, it's been put out there and there's nothing else to be said. We can just… return to how things were. No more questions. It hurts, oh yeah, I feel the ache deep in my chest but it's better than the pain of what could’ve been. This is concrete, this is firm, it’s unquestioning. Phew, man, I actually feel pretty good right now. I don’t have to figure out if it’s whether or not I just wanna fuck him or, god forbid, date him, whether or not that’s a good idea being in space and all- _

“Wait, Will…” I freeze when Keith's hand suddenly grabs my shoulder, and I blink stupidly as my entire cognitive function short circuits. My eyes flicker back to Keith, who meets my gaze with a look I hardly recognize as his. It's… vulnerable. Soft, gentle, and his eyes are…  _ pleading?  _ I've never seen his expression so open before, and now I can definitely tell he wants to say something, unlike before when I was just guessing. 

He opens his mouth to speak, but before he does the sound of the door opening echoes behind me. Lance and Hunk's voices waft in, jovial and enthusiastic as they enter the room. Keith releases his hold on my wrist and when I return my gaze to him his expression has returned to the same inexpressive shield that I'm used to.  _ Did I imagine that before? With his expression like that?  _

"Yeah, let's go see what Pidge's got." Keith suddenly speaks in a surprisingly conversational tone, and without another glance towards me he strides to meet up with Lance and Hunk to convene towards the Green Lion's hanger.  _ That was weird, right? That was weird. _

I can't help but frown as I hesitate to follow after, the peaceful silence of confirmation within me eradicating in an instant. 

_ This definitely isn't over... but I can't place a finger on why. What was he about to say that made him look at me that way? Sorry? Maybe he feels genuinely bad about rejecting me? Well, that's sweet, but honestly, it's for the best. Maybe he was just embarrassed to say anything more about it when Lance and Hunk arrived?  _

_ Whatever. The final answer is there, it’s for the best. It's for the best. It's for the best. Really, though. Goddamn, I can’t believe I really considered dating again because of this dude, what a big load of crazy for nothing- _

Inside the Green Lion's hanger Pidge has expanded her massive work table to include another surface and several pieces of tech lying about, none of them I recognize or know their purpose for. The sample that she collected from outside is hovering on what looks like a small pedestal, which is connected with several wires to Pidge's computer which has now expanded to three more additional, Altean monitors. It flickers with thousands of coded symbols as it analyzes the data, so many numbers and shit that it makes my head spin. 

Hunk immediately strides over and looks at the space-snow floating over the little pedestal Pidge set up on the desk, "Hey, I recognize this experiment!” He gasps in excitement. Lance comes over to peer at it with him with a pensive look as Hunk drops down beside the space spore with the same gaze as a ten year old in a toy store, "But, question, why do we need to get electricity from a potato?" 

"What? No." Pidge shakes her head as she types on her computer. As Coran, Allura, and Shiro enter the hanger she replies in a business tone, "I was able to crack the...  _ 'sporse'  _ code." She grins wickedly and snickers, and I feel my soul leave my body.

"Jesus Christ, Pidge, that's _ terrible _ ." I grumble, but this does nothing more than feed her joyous grin. She wipes it off quickly into a straight, serious face as she speaks with an academic tone, "I ran the bioluminescent pattern through a variety of code-breaking sequences including this homemade virtual Turing machine." She gestures idly to the pedestal the spore-space-snow is sitting on as she continues, "Of course I had to make a few tweaks to the original design, because, obviously, there have been several advancements since he designed it. Although, you have to admit, Turing was a shining light in the world of science in an age where far too many were still-" 

"Pidge." Keith interrupts, bringing Pidge out of her own reminiscing thoughts from where he leans on the table beside her, "What does it say?" 

"Oh, yeah!" Pidge looks back to her computer screen and states in a matter of fact tone, "'Under Attack. Galra. Help.' and then there are coordinates."

"It's a distress signal." Shiro murmurs thoughtfully, "Good work, Pidge." He gives her a congratulatory smile as he turns to Coran, "Get those coordinates into the Castle's navigation system." 

"On it!" Coran nods with a fierce expression, and he quickly turns and exits the room with a burst in his step.

I turn back to follow the others back to the bridge, pushing Keith out of my mind so that I can focus on the mission at hand. Let’s aid whoever sent out that distress signal. 

Honestly, I’m glad it’s over. No more questions: now we can focus on saving the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---  
> keep forgetting shit that has already occurred in past chapters bc I can't pull them up for past reference while I'm writing, so if there are any sticklers to consistency please point it out to me and let me know, bc 9/10 it wasn't on purpose! I'm starting to realize that my chapter titles are growing to become more and more symbolically representative of Will's situation in junction with the actual plot, which is helpful, but also y'all,,,, slow burn is as miserable to write as it is to read but I promise it'll be worth it..... maybe.... eventually...  
> \---


	20. The Same Cosmic Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Voltron has received a distress signal from a spore, and according to Coran it came from a society of brilliant engineers. Voltron quickly prepares to approach the planet, and on its surface it appears that the Galra threat can be easily overcome..  
> And, finally, Will and Keith talk about their fucking feelings for 5 fucking minutes  
> But are things as easy as they appear? Is anything actually resolved?  
> \---  
> **... spoiler alert... no. they're not. Plot wise or inter-character wise**

We approach the bridge of the Castle of Lions once Coran uploaded Pidge’s decrypted coordinates from the spore. As we enter, Coran walks to the bow and his usual station but I notice that he nearly trips and falls on his way there like he just slid on a banana peel. He gasps as he attempts to right himself, sweat dripping off his brow and to the floor before he proceeds like nothing happened.  _ Wow, he's sweating like a marathon runner after the last leg.  _

_ … Maybe that's normal for Alteans?  _

I pretend I don't notice as we gather in a cluster behind him as he loads up the data.

"You know what, Pidge, how did you know that the spore was programmed?" Hunk asks curiously, leaning on the wall next to Pidge with a raised eyebrow. 

I sit down on the steps with a jutted thumb towards Hunk, "Yeah, how  _ did  _ you know?" 

Pidge shrugs a little as she glances down at her hands, "I don't know. It just… made sense, I guess. It was too regular to be natural." 

"That's just so genius!” Hunk exclaims excitedly, pumping his fists in the air with a starry gaze, “I wanna meet these people who were able to code a  _ spore _  like that, I didn't think something like that was possible!" 

Pidge matches his enthusiasm immediately, her eyes snapping wide open with a brilliant sparkle, "Dude,  _ same!  _ I wonder what their technological advancements must be like if they're able to develop something capable of programming biological material!”

My attention is drawn away from them as Keith steps down from the stairs from behind me and stands beside Coran. His arms are crossed over his chest and his expression looks extremely perplexed as he examines the coordinates and numbers that race along his screen.  _ Goddamnit, why is he so fucking pretty.  _

After a moment I watch as his hands move to his sides, one reaching behind and touching the dagger he keeps in his belt resting on the small of his back. He’d made a makeshift hold in his Voltron suit so he could continue to carry it with him, which seems rather silly to me as he has his bayard, but I figured it just held some sort of sentimental value, a good luck charm, and never asked about it. I see his mouth moving as he speaks to Coran, and being the nosy fucker I am, I attempt to tune Pidge and Hunk's enthusiasm to listen. 

"-you think that the Galra ever went to Earth? Is that possible? I mean, they would've taken it over, right?" 

Coran's voice is a little incredulous as he runs a hand through his hair, leaving a trail of sweat along the way as he responds, "Oh, I think you'd know if the Galra were there!" 

Keith frowns a little, his expression unconvinced as his hands return to his sides, "The Blue Lion was there. Did a Galra pilot the Blue Lion, too?" 

The mention of his lion snaps up Lance's attention from where he was standing next to Hunk and Pidge. He disengages from the wall as his eyes zero in on Keith, and he points a finger at him accusingly, "Hey, why're you asking about my lion? How many lions do you need?" 

Keith blinks at Lance with a stunned expression, "What? No, I-uh-I was just-" 

Lance crosses his arms with a wag of his finger, "Don't _ 'what? No I-uh-I was just-' _ me!" He jabs a finger into Keith's chest, who blinks at him in surprise as Lance curls his nose at him like a snarl, "You've had your eye on the Blue Lion from day one!"

Keith blinks at him stupidly, "Well… yeah… It's the first one we found-"

Lance cuts him off with a wave of his hands in his face, making choppy noises to interrupt him, " _ Bububububah!  _ The Blue Lion's with  _ me.  _ And we're  _ very _  happy together!" He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest with a narrowed gaze at Keith, who merely blinks at him with utter confusion.  _ Someone’s touchy.  _

"Ah, here it is!" Coran interrupts their conversation as an image appears of a celestial body on the hologram before him. It looks like a lime green planet with jagged, mountainous ranges clearly visible along its middle, like a rugged earthly ring around the planetary sphere. 

All of our side conversations abruptly end as Coran speaks enthusiastically, his eyebrows leaping up his forehead and a greasy hand curling through his mustache,  _ Christ, he's sweating a lot. Is it hot in here or something? _  "The signal's coordinates came from Olkarian, home of the Olkari!" Coran turns to us with a bright smile, "They're a proud class of engineers, builders of vast cities that could change shape at the whim of their creators!" 

I raise an eyebrow curiously at this, "What do you mean, ‘change shape’?" 

The Castle begins to rumble, and I glance behind me to see Allura had taken to her central circle station, engaging the Castle's thrusters and driving us through space towards the coordinates. 

"They have a seemingly magical ability to manipulate solid metal." Allura answers helpfully when she meets my gaze, but instead of the usual, gentle, friendly light behind them when she locks onto me they turn a little hard, like sapphires. 

A sudden pang of guilt spikes through my chest.  _ Oh. Right. I haven't spoken to her since I yelled at her yesterday, after the last battle with the ro-beast. I need to apologize for that… but now's not the time. Sticking that apology on the back-burner for now.  _

Allura continues, cutting into my guilt-ridden thoughts, "With just a wave of their hands, they could build a computer inside a block of steel!"

"Whoa!" Pidge gasps enthusiastically, her eyes flying wide at this explanation from where she stands behind Coran. She's staring straight ahead with a starry expression, and as I turn and follow her gaze I see, far in the distance, a green planet that looks remarkably similar to the hologram that Coran had shown us just a moment before.  _ Wow, I forget how fast the Castle can travel fast, even without wormholing.  _

"An Olkari once gave me this!" Coran cries excitedly as he twists away from the controls towards us, and from the pocket of his clothes he produces a small, viridian cube with a shining light within that breaks out in a seam along its middle. I could fit it in the palm of my hand comfortably, like it was an ornament for a key chain but the chain broke off. As he holds it aloft, it rises from his hand and floats in mid air before him with a soft, chiming noise. 

"What is it?" Lance asks with a raised eyebrow, peering at it with a curious gaze. 

"Uh, hello, it's a floating cube?" Coran answers with a slightly derisive curl of his lip hidden beneath his mustache, before he chuckles and shakes his head at Lance, "Ah, this guy." He jabs a thumb at him to us with another laugh, and I notice some droplets of sweat fling from his hands before his eyes snap back into focus, "Oh, and watch!" He clears his throat and speaks with a different tone, as if he were reading words off a page, "'My name is Coran, and I'm a gorgeous man!'"

The light inside the cube suddenly flickers with a technological chime, and a voice crackles from within, the exact same voice as Coran's, " _ 'My name is Coran, and I'm a gorgeous man!' _ " 

Pidge gasps enthusiastically and whirls around the cube, inspecting it from every angle as her eyes practically glisten with excitement. The others: Hunk, Lance, and Keith, aren't nearly as impressed. 

"Why would a society full of literal tech wizards use spores to send a distress signal?" Keith asks with a raised eyebrow, his arms crossed as he watches Pidge fawn over the cube.  _ Honestly, her enthusiasm for cool tech is endearing as hell. _

"Who  _ cares _ ?!" Pidge states with excitement, whirling around towards Allura with wide eyes, "When do we get to see the city?!" 

"Actually, Pidge, the distress signal isn't coming from the city." Allura answers with a pensive frown, her slender fingers drawing across her hologram as she appears to be examining a map of the surface of the planet, "It's coming from the forest." 

She pushes a hologram from her panel to the large projector at the front of the room, illustrating an image of the forests of Olkarion. The treetops glimmer with golden-green leaves like fall in the Northeast, trunks of deep mahogany beneath and just beyond them I see the curling blues of a river through the landscape. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that it’s a picture from Vermont. 

Pidge grumbles in disappointment, but I feel excitement jump into my throat, "The forest? Like, real trees?" I ask with wide eyes, my breath stalls in my throat, "Holy shit! Race y'all to the lions!" I turn on heel and leap into my elevator to take me down to my lion before anyone even has a chance to speak, slamming the down button excitedly as a brilliant grin crawls up my face. 

"Okay, what Will said, let’s get to our lions and go investigate the distress signal's lo-" Shiro's voice fades as I already begin descending, I'm bouncing on my heels in excitement hard enough that my elevator trembles before I put my helmet back on my head from where I held it under my arm.

I haven't seen a forest since I left Virginia to move to Texas like… what, three years ago? Now, we're not even on fucking  _ Earth  _ anymore, I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to see something like home. Even back on Arus, even though there was an ocean next to the Castle all beyond was just desert. There weren't any beaches, no waves because Arus had no moon, it was really more like a really big pond than a sea. But this… it looks like a real forest. It was a little strange, not familiar like what I'm used to, but they're  _ trees. Plants and trees and grass and sunshine...  _

_ It's the closest thing I may ever see to home ever again.  _

That thought stalls my excitement a little bit. 

_ Wow, kids, can we lighten up a little?  _

I arrive to my hanger and enter my lion through her jaws, heading up the stairs to the cockpit with an excited jump in my step. Her controls leap up to greet me enthusiastically as soon as I sit, and I can't help but smile a little. "Hey, you." I murmur.

As soon as I’m sitting I tap on my communicator in my helmet, "Will y'all hurry up? We got people to save!" I open the door to my hanger, pressing the White Lion out of the Castle and into empty space in record time. 

"Alright, alright, yeesh!" I hear Lance call in complaint, immediately followed by Shiro's more pragmatic tone, "Let's head down to the planet when everyone's ready. Allura, keep the Castle out of range if you can, we want surprise on our side so the Galra don't know we're here until we're ready to attack." 

I inspect the planet, nestled in the abyssal emptiness on the forefront of the light of a million stars. The massive mountain range along its center, a literal equator dividing northern and southern hemispheres, reaches outwards like a spiky belt around the planet's waist. Its surface is splashed with thousands of shades of brown and green, with a few occasional splotches of blue from particularly large rivers or lakes.  _ It's not home... But it’s close.  _

"Alright guys, let’s go." Shiro commands and I glance over my shoulder to see the Black Lion heading down towards the planet. I move to follow just behind him in my formation position, watching out of the peripheral vision of my lion as the others fall in. 

As we plummet into the planet's atmosphere my cabin rattles as we break the outer layer. I keep my feet planted and my hands stilled on the controls, and once the violent shaking ends I'm able to see the planet's surface clearly. The outlines of the vast expanse of golden-green forests below is clear and distinct to our right as the massive mountain range rises to our left, the mountains are thin like gigantic pencil points from deep in the ground. Just beyond the mountains I can see tall buildings, made of the same dark green viridian metal that Coran's cube was made of.  _ This must be the city that the Olkari can change at will. Interesting. Figured it would look a little more… diverse. But then again I can only see the tops of the buildings from here so I can’t judge.  _

Pidge notices it as well and she grumbles with displeasure under her breath, "Why doesn't anyone ever send a distress signal from a  _ cool _ place?"

I hear Lance snicker over the com, "Aw, come on, lighten up, Pidge! Nature's not so bad!" 

"I hate nature!" She complains with an audible huff, "Nothing but sunburn and poison oak." 

"I like it out here." Keith murmurs in a tranquil tone, almost reflective, "It's quiet."

We descend further down towards the planet, the treetops now close enough that I can see individual leaves and the darkness beneath their mighty limbs.  _ If there are trees, there must be oxygen.  _ I tap my holographic panel to my right and investigate the atmosphere's components, and see that it's composed of 50% oxygen, 40% nitrogen and 10% of various other levels of gases, names I don't recognize, but the computer confirms the air is more than breathable.  _ I can't wait to feel the air on my skin, to taste the scent of these trees. Will they be clear and crisp like pines, or soft and musky like maples? _

"These trees remind me of the Northeast, when the leaves start turning." I murmur softly under my breath, unable to stop the reminiscing tone from entering my voice, "Definitely not like Texas. Texas is a fucking wasteland like from Fallout."

I feel something prick my finger. I blink and look down at my right hand with a raised eyebrow but there's nothing amiss.  _ Weird.  _ However when I look out the gaze of my lion I spot slight movement, racing upward past my lion. I furrow my eyebrows at them and see that they look like arrows, sailing through the air around us as we glide over the treetops.

"What was that?" I hear Hunk ask anxiously, followed by Keith's confused voice, "Uh… are we being attacked?" 

I feel Silver's metal exterior groan and we begin to descend closer to the surface without me meaning to. I blink and try to press back upwards, but this just results in a strong, pulling sensation downward by Silver's right paw, like we got lassoed.  _ What the fuck? _

"I don't know, but something's pulling my lion towards the surface." Shiro answers with a concerned tone. 

"Yeah, something's pulling Blue down, too!" Lance huffs, and I make a noise of ditto in response. I press against the controls again but it’s doing no good to attempt to right Silver's position. 

_ But we can still attack even with a foot out of commission, so whatever is doing this is still going to have another thing coming. _

We are pulled below the tree line, so I drag back on the thrusters to slow our descent to glide through the trees. Shiro leads us through the trees ahead, a deep, roaring rumble of our combined thrusters gliding our lions through the forest. These trees are absolutely  _ massive  _ now that I see them up close like this, Redwood trees ain't even got shit on these, they're absolute  _ units.  _ They’re as tall as skyscrapers and buildings with limbs as thick as buses and tunnels, they make our lions look proportional in size.  _ Less like home, but… still. Trees, with bark and leaves and the rustle of wind through the branches… I should probably focus. _

Ahead, the source of the strange pull, is a wide clearing. Standing facing us, like they were expecting our arrival, are what look like a hundred or so humanoid figures. Some are small, no bigger than we are, but others are as tall as a basketball hoop, lumbering giants. The lions land before the pack as the pulling sensation recedes and that's when I realize that the larger figures I see aren't any sort of alien; they look like mechanical suits. These suits stand throughout the small army before us with glowing, olive colored light coming from their seams, but their material is deep brown, like… 

"Are those  _ wooden _  mech suits?" Hunk echoes my thoughts with an incredulous tone. I lean forward and peer out of my lion's eyes to inspect the creatures below closer. 

The smaller humanoid figures, actual living aliens, look like a combination between what I'd expect from a strange hybrid between those little stick bugs and a person. They're spindly, all various shades of earthy tones, greens and browns, with blue and violet whites for eyes and deep brown irises.  Some of them have what look like guns, but they're made out of the same mahogany wood as the mech suits, and others bear classic looking spears that otherwise don't appear particularly remarkable.

Lance groans over the com, "Are you kidding me? We just got taken down by a bunch of tree people!" 

"We should say something." I murmur, frowning as I speak over the com, "Shiro, tell them we're not here to hurt them, they might think we're bad guys!" 

Shiro seems to agree with me, and through the speaker system in his lion I hear his voice cry out into the silent clearing below, "We come in peace!" 

The aliens don't move collectively, but one steps forward to the front. They have a wizened visage with a thin jaw and folds of cloth draped over their spindly form that’s more intricate than the rest. Their head looks like it’s adorned with a wooden helm, as if for battle, and their eyes are wide, stuck out like a fish's with puffy skin around them.  _ Old humans tend to have something similar to that, maybe this is a sign of age? Maybe that's their leader.  _ However, they don't move or respond to Shiro's message, their weapons are still trained on the lions. 

"I got this." Pidge mumbles, and over the com I hear the sound of her moving. I glance over at the Green Lion to my left, and I see Pidge pulling herself to the front through a door in its mouth. Her short brown hair carries on an unseen breeze and her round glasses shine in the golden sunlight as she leans out of her lion's teeth, shouting, "We found your distress signal!" She waves an arm through the teeth of her lion, and I see now that she's carrying the containment unit with the spore she collected trapped within.  _ Good thinking, bringing that with us. What a champ.  _

The response is immediate. The aliens relax their arms, lowering their guns and spears, and the wooden suits open to reveal the stick-like alien piloting them from within as they collectively let out a sigh of relief I can hear from within my lion. The one who moved to the front, the elder looking figure, calls loudly, "Praise Lubos!" 

The other aliens all immediately cry out in joy, their weapons falling from their hands with varying cries of _  "Lubos!"  _

I let out a relieved breath, and I rise from my seat.  _ Alright, so we are in the right place. But are these the Olkari? They don't really seem much like technological engineers to me. _  I take my helmet off and leave it resting on my seat as my lion shifts to her knees to let me out, disembarking to enter the clearing. 

I take a deep breath of the air, and I'm  _ assaulted  _ by how fresh it is. It smells like the rawest form of autumn leaves and the skin on my forearms break out in goose flesh, I have take a moment to simply  _ breathe _ . It’s invigorating, I’ve never tasted this much raw oxygen. The trees overhead cover the clearing in shades of gold and amber, and I feel a deep ache within my chest.  _ This is so alien, yet seems so much like home.  _

I notice the others approaching the aliens once they've exited their lions, so I walk briskly to follow them. 

"Praise Lubos you have arrived!" The elder waves at us with a three fingered, branch-like hand as we approach, "We thought no one would answer our call to repel the Galra! We are the Olkari, and we welcome you to our planet." They speak with a crackling voice, like the crunch of leaves, "Please, follow me, I'll take you to our encampment, we can speak more there." Their voice is as ancient as they look, with what looks like wrinkles around their eyes, like the veins of a leaf through sunlight. Their clothes fold intricately across their chest like a white, green, and orange sheet folded multiple times around their torso and legs that move like water as they turn back to the other end of the clearing. 

They gesture with a slender hand out in front and the crowd of Olkari part before us with various expressions of what looks like excitement.  _ So far this is already going better than when we liberated the Balmerans… Maybe Lance will get that parade he wants so badly.  _ As I glance over at him I see his wide-eyed, enthusiastic expression seems to be reflecting my own thoughts on the matter as he flashes charming grins to the passing aliens. They seem more than amenable to smiling back with enthusiastic waves.

We follow the Olkari through the massive trees, and the farther we go the less the sunlight is able to reach through the branches and the darker it becomes. Most of these trees in sheer breadth and height are as big as skyscrapers, and the ground beneath our feet is soft and spongy from the short grass so thick I cannot see the ground beneath it. It's so alien and weird yet also beautiful and fucking  _ cool _ . The mahogany branches grow to a more reddish hue as we continue, the bare sunlight through the spiraling branches towards the sky and through the golden leaves reflect off of the bark, casting the area in shades of crimson and blood. _  The sun back on Earth shines through the branches in this same way, the hues of the forest are the same as a beautiful fall day just as the leaves were changing. The trees are just a whole lot bigger.  _

_ I wish I wasn't here to fight. Who knows how much of this may be destroyed when the Galra find out about our presence here?  _

_ Speaking of the Galra, where are they? Their presence was immediate and obvious back on the Balmera, but I didn’t notice any violet or black structures around here when we flew down.  _

The Olkari elder approaches one of these trees, and as we curve around the right side I see what looks like a ramp, a natural ramp growing out of the tree and up its trunk. There's not a mark of any man-made touch on it, but it's almost too perfect for it to have been natural.  _ But I thought Allura said that the Olkari could only manipulate metal?  _

_ Well, it has been a thousand years. Maybe they learned how to manipulate more? _

As we start to ascend, the Olkari elder who led us begins to speak in a soft tone, their voice is muted like the very bark we tread up absorbs the sound, "When the Galra attacked, only a few of us escaped the cities. We were forced to flee into the forest." 

To the right as we spiral around the tree the ramp ends into a natural platform, and from there I see that the many nearby trees have similar ramps leading into the treetops. There’s a soft glimmer of olive light from what appear to be homes, bubbles blown on the inside of the bark with dark green metals growing out of the trees like rectangular moss at regular intervals. Stretches of this shiny metal link several of the trees together and their metal buildings to one another, like aerial bridges. Shadows of passing Olkari about on their business are barely visible, dwarfed in comparison to the massive trees hanging above.  _ This looks like a whole city in itself.  _

"How long have you lived like this?" Shiro asks as the Olkari speaking stops at this platform. They keep their back to us as they look out across the expanse, and we move to gather around them as they reply, "Many decafeebs."  _ Great, helpful, thanks.  _ "But as you can see, our people are resilient. We never stopped evolving." The Olkari's eyes are unwavering as they stand upright, as steady as a cliff face, "Instead, we adapted our skills to the environment."

"That's incredible!" I murmur, glancing out over the civilization with wide eyes.  _ This doesn't look like a people who were forced out of their homes by the Galra. They look like they've always lived here.  _

"What's your name?" Shiro asks amicably with a raised eyebrow.

The Olkari turns to us with a gentle gaze, "I am Ryner. You could say I'm the leader of our people here in the forest, but it's only due to desperate measures."  

I turn around to look up the ramp that continues around the tree when I spot an Olkari just a few feet away with a block of wood at hand about as big as a textbook. They have their back to me, but I can see their hands clearly as they touch a jutting stick out of the side of the wooden block. Much to my shock it moves, extending outwards and intricately intertwining together almost at its own whim, like those videos that show a plant growing at a thousand times faster speed. Soft olive light glows from within as the wood transforms into the shape of what looks remarkably like a dragonfly, save a shorter tail and larger wings. The pieces snap into place before the dragonfly's wings whir, and it takes off from the Olkari's hands. I blink in shock and I feel my jaw drop as I watch the wooden dragonfly whirl in the air before flying up into the treetops and out of sight.

_ That looks like magic… but nothing like the magic of that one crazy dude back on the galactic hub. There’s no way that that’s  _ **_not_ ** _ magic, right? _

"Coran was right, Ryner, you really are the most incredible engineers in the galaxy!" Pidge cries enthusiastically, her eyes starry as she stares up at the treetops where I just watched the dragonfly flying away, "To be able to switch from working with precision machinery to a buncha sticks!" 

Ryner smiles a little in amusement, "Nature's designs are superior to anything we could devise." As I glance back from where we came, I notice that other Olkari in the area have begun to notice our arrival. They stop on their tracks up the ramp and now there's a sizably growing crowd gathered by us, Olkari murmuring among one another in undertones that I can't hear.  _ I feel kind of like a celebrity. This must be feeding the fuck out of Lance's ego.  _ I glance over at him curiously and see that he is just  _ drinking  _ in the attention, smiling charmingly at the Olkari as they gather with flashes of finger guns.  _ Christ. _

Pidge scoffs a little with her hands on her waist, "No offense, but I'll take my computer over a tree any day." 

"You two can talk science later." Shiro cuts in with his usual commanding tone, and Ryner turns to him with a tranquil gaze as he continues, "Lets assemble Voltron and get rid of these Galra invaders." 

"It's not that simple, I'm afraid, otherwise we would’ve been able to drive them on our own." Ryner answers with a saddened gaze, turning to us with what looks like tears glimmering in their bifocal gaze, "The Galra have our leader, Lubos." 

Immediately, the Olkari that have gathered around us echo his name with a melancholic tone,  _ "Lubos!"  _

I raise an eyebrow at this, the… cultish feeling that that gives me sends shivers up my spine. I thought when they said Lubos earlier that it must have been some sort of deity. But it's their leader? Another Olkari? It seems strange to revere someone who's not only one of our own kind, but is still alive. It's like the United States mystifying its current president.

_ Well, this is a completely different society, I shouldn't think in relativity to my own because I'm sure they think our own ideologies and stuff would be equally strange.  _

Ryner continues on like nothing happened, their gaze unwavering from Shiro, "If you attack, who knows what they'll do to him?" 

"Then we'll just have to rescue him." Shiro answers with a determined gaze and a matter in fact tone. 

Ryner looks a bit taken aback, their eyes widening for a moment before their features soften, a slight smile perking their mouth as they turn back towards where we came, "Then you will need to go in prepared. Follow me." The crowd of Olkari immediately part as Ryner leads us back down from hence we came, their murmuring growing louder as a strange language echoes in the clarity of the air, reminding me a little of a more conversational murmur of whale noises. 

_ Interesting, Ryner must have a transladazine, but not all of them do, I see. This language must be their native tongue.  _

Ryner leads us around the end of the large tree, and as we walk we enter an orchard of smaller trees, more a size that I'm used to. I brush my fingertips along the bark of a passing tree, and I jolt when I see a dull technological light shining underneath, like a motherboard of a computer. I blink and I see now that these smaller trees are not trees at all, at least not natural ones. They all have this olive green light from within, a color I am growing to associate with Olkarian technology. And stranger still, massive orbs hang from their branches like fruit, but they're about as big as a third of the tree itself. The orbs are made of the same, mahogany bark as the trees, and I see that the orbs have seams along their sides like Altean tech has, illustrating there's more to them than what I can see. 

The grasses as we walk grow taller, but only outside of the path that Ryner seems to be taking us on. The grasses we tread on are woven together, like baskets, into a natural trail. The lush grasses outside of the path, however, grow from around ankle height to mid-calf and above my knees. Flowers of various colors poke out, soft purples and pinks that peek through the emerald grass about the size of medium sized dogs.  _ It's so strange… but beautiful. Did they make these trees themselves? Fashioned them with this power they have? That’s so fucking cool. _

Ryner pauses in a clearing among these strange trees, where other Olkari are spread out throughout by the flowers, it looks like they’re picking them. Our pause prompts Keith to raise an eyebrow at our guide, "Um, Ryner… Where are we?"

Ryner's voice reminds me of what I'd expect Galadriel's voice to be, soft and wise, "This is the armory."  I blink and then watch the other Olkari in the area's actions with renewed interest. 

The closest Olkari to me, just off the path to my right, bends over towards a pink flower with folded petals hanging down like that of a tiger lily. They stick their hand into flower's core where they usually keep their pollen, and with a soft olive glow the petals envelope the Olkari's hand and forearm. The stem and leaves encompass their arm like the pull of the ocean tide and detaches from the roots entirely to encircle the Olkari's arm. The pink petals harden and an olive, technological light flashes from within. With a sudden pulse, a bolt of green energy fires from the Olkari's hand and into a nearby tree, where it sizzles and burns a hole straight through the bark. I blink in shock, my mouth falling open. 

_ That Olkari just... made a gun. In 5 seconds. With nothing but a flower.  _

I glance over at Pidge and see that her expression is absolutely delighted, her eyes starry and her hands clapped on her cheeks as she watches the Olkari I too was just watching.  

Suddenly, I hear a sound, vaguely similar to the sound Voltron makes when it forms, but has a far louder grind to it. I glance over and see Ryner's hand resting on the trunk of a nearby tree, and with a loud thud one of the massive orbs hanging from it falls directly in front of us with a loud slam. We gasp and stumble back as a group and watch as the orb's seams open, arms and legs extending outward. The top pops open, and I see a seat with controls within, like any pilot's cockpit. 

_ These are those mech suits we saw when we landed. Ryner literally just… made one. In two fucking seconds.  _

_ How would war be different if people back on Earth had this ability. Hell, how must the war with the Galra have changed when they took over this planet? Knowing what I know about the Galra... They must have the Olkari who didn't escape the cities held as hostages, pumping out as many weapons as they're physically able to make without pause.  _ I shiver at the mere thought.  _ I’m glad we came here. Taking these people out of their hands will definitely help our war effort. _

"Uh… Can I… get one of those?" Keith asks with wide eyes, and as I look at the others' expressions I see that we all have the same, awed, wide-eyed look stretched across our faces. 

"Me too!" Lance cries immediately. Ryner's expression turns upward into an amused smile as they tap a green lily pad-like plant next to the tree they touched to make the suit.

"Of course, you can all have one." They turn to us after they grab something from within the nettle and in their hands is what looks like 6 crowns, made of the same mahogany bark of the surrounding trees. Nestled in the top, the crown jewel, is a soft olive gem, and its light spirals around the bark in intricate patterns.  _ Nice aesthetic. _

"Now, the key to operating it is understanding that the nanocellulose responds to the electrical pulses in the neural pathways connected through this." Ryner hands each of us one of these crowns, and I hold mine aloft with a stupefied expression.  _ Nano-what? _

Lance mirrors my same feeling, "Do what now?" 

Hunk looks at his crown with a curious gaze, and he slowly extends his tongue out and… licks it. 

"Hunk," I ask with an incredulous look, "Why did you lick it?" 

Hunk blinks at me innocently, holding his crown aloft in his hands with wide, innocent eyes, "Dunno. But it makes my tongue itchy!" 

Pidge puts the crown on her head with a raised eyebrow, the olive light reflecting off her round glasses with a curious tone, " _ That's  _ your interface?" 

"Of course all commands need to come in as binary coded messages, but yes." Ryner answers with a soft expression. I'm getting more and more vibes that Ryner is the authority figure for more reasons than just necessity.

I frown and place the crown on my head the same way Pidge did, my eyebrows furrowed before I take it off again, "Yeah, I don't know, I think I might be too stupid for this. Like, I thought cellulose was what plant cell walls were made out of, so what the hell is  _ nano _ cellulose?" 

Keith raises an eyebrow at me before he smirks with an amused lilt in his tone, "Well, if Lance can do it, I think you'll be more than able to." 

Lance gasps in mock hurt, "Hey! Well, if I can't do it then that means you can't either because you're even dumber than me!" 

Hunk makes an  _ Ooo burn _  noise of appreciation and Keith rolls his eyes, but I see that they glint with amusement. I can't help but laugh before I tentatively place the crown back on my head. 

"So… Like this?" Pidge asks. I glance over where she stands at the base of a nearby tree, her hand is rested on the trunk, and with a flash of soft olive light from her crown, her hand illuminates the bark with a similar green light. A shot of green rises up the trunk and to its branches, and with a massive thud one of the massive orbs falls to the ground, opening up into the wooden mech suit just like it did with Ryner.  _ Well shit, that looks easy. _

"Yes, excellent! You must have a deep connection with nature." Ryner exclaims with a proud tone. I frown to myself as I approach another tree trunk nearby, glancing up at a dangling orb.  _ Commands have to be sent as binary messages? What the fuck is… that's that language that's composed entirely out of 1's and 0's, isn't it? Fucking hell, I don't know that! Maybe if I just think about it really hard... Wooden mech suit, please. Mech suit. Gimme the orb. Drop it- _

"I think mine's just a tree!" Lance's voice interrupts my concentration, and I glance back to see the others touching their own trees with as much success as I'm having. Shiro takes his crown off with a shrug, not seemingly too bothered by it as he instead moves and returns it to Ryner with a gracious expression. Pidge climbs into the wooden mech suit she was able to produce, and she turns to Ryner with a deft shake of her head, "Yeah, I’m not really a nature person. My allergies and pale skin don't mix with outdoor living." 

Shiro stands next to Pidge with his arms crossed, very much like a proud parent as he proclaims, "Pidge is our resident tech expert." 

"Well, that explains it!" Ryner says with a fascinated tone, and they move to sit in their own mech suit as they continue, "Like the Olkari, you understand that at the deepest level, trees, metal, you and me, we're all made up of the same cosmic dust, all arranged by the laws of mathematics." 

Pidge's expression grows a little scandalized, "Does this mean I should start gardening?"

"It means that you'll need to give your friends a ride!" I hear Ryner say with an amused lilt, and gestures to her suit as well as their own, "Come, we must get going to the edge of the forest, and produce a plan to save our king!" Ryner cries enthusiastically from where they sit in their mech suit, regarding us with a determined gaze. 

“So we aren’t gonna shoot bad guys in the things?” Lance frowns with disappointment, giving up as he tosses his crown onto the ground. 

Keith shrugs, glancing over at Lance with his arms crossed, “I think my lion can provide more than enough firepower for me.”

“I do not doubt it.” Ryner responds to Keith with a smile where they sit within their mech suit, “Firepower is not the goal here. It’s maneuverability and stealth through the trees in order to get a better look at the Galra compound.” With that, Ryner gestures between their suit and Pidge’s, prompting us to distribute ourselves evenly between the two suits, however from here they seem barely big enough to fit two to three people behind the pilot, if we all crouch.  _ This’ll be a tight squeeze. _

Hunk and Lance race towards Pidge’s suit, yammering with excitement about Pidge’s newfound ability and I feel my chest swell with pride.  _ Yeah, that’s our Pidge. She did that. But I doubt I’ll be able to squeeze back there with Hunk in there, so maybe I’ll just…  _

I approach Ryner’s suit and wave in greeting, “May I join you?” 

They nod with a slow jerk of their chin and gesture to the space behind their seat. I touch a hand on the inside of the mech suit to hoist myself up, and I feel the crown around my head almost… vibrate, like a phone. It takes a bit of a jump, but once I make it inside the lip I shift myself about until I’m behind the seat, taking off the crown and handing it to Ryner. They accept it graciously and rest it within a small compartment under their arm. 

Shiro approaches with a raised eyebrow for permission, to which Ryner holds out a hand to help him up. They grasp his forearm and haul him inside with little effort, and I grab the belt of his suit to help pull him behind the pilot’s seat of the mech suit. I hear Lance and Pidge's loud complaining as Hunk struggles to get up into the suit, and I watch as the suit rocks when they haul him inside.  _ Oh Hunk, you're doing so good.  _

A hand grasps the lip of Ryner’s suit, and Keith hauls his way inside without a word. I hold out a hand to help him and he takes it with a glance in my direction, pulling on my arm as he hauls himself in. I steady myself as well as the rapid increase of my heart rate,  _ fucking hell keep your gay feelings in check, Will. He doesn't like you back, we've had this talk.  _ No matter how many times I will remind myself this, I know myself well enough that any touch, any glance that Keith and I share is going to give me a stroke for at least a week.  _ Focus. Mission. Saving a planet. More important things than your dumbass gay thoughts.  _

I pull him up until he's inside, where he then maneuvers around the seat and presses beside me, sandwiching me between him and Shiro. I grab onto the head of Ryner’s pilot’s seat, focusing intensely on how the seat seems like waxy like the surface of a leaf instead of how warm my sides are at the proximity, or how fuzzy my chest is… 

A holographic screen pops up before us of a video feed from outside of the suit as the top closes over us, casting everything in a pale olive light and leaving us largely in darkness save from the light of the hologram. Ryner reaches out to grasp the controls, which are sticking out from the floor, and presses them forward. The suit immediately brings its arms inside with a creak and crackle of bark and it rolls through the grasses like a massive pill bug. 

We're kept stable and upright within, the outsides are moving us like we're the center stable spoke of a tire, so fortunately it’s not as much of a jostle as I was expecting. Ryner guides us through the trees, and I feel Shiro and Keith grasp onto either side of the seat to keep steady. Caught between the two I’m kept rather stable, but it’s  _ completely  _ impossible to not be pressed up against the both of them at any given time, or vise versa. There is no personal space, and considering I’m with Keith my gay mind is going  _ haywire _ .

After several minutes of rolling, Ryner comes to a stop far ahead, at a break in the trees just at the edge of a surprisingly steep cliff. Pidge rolls up next to us as we peer down below, where I can see the massive expanse of the Olkari city. 

It's built of the same dark green metal I saw in the makeshift city the Olkari built in the forest, except now I see that  _ this  _ is what an Olkari city meant to last looks like. It's massive and expansive, elegant in appearance with hexagonal shapes in purposefully districted segments that expand for miles. The closest segment is shaped like a hexagon with a massive tower standing in its center with doors on all six sides of the building. The light within the building pulses with energy, brighter than any of the other buildings in the rest of the city.

“Is this where the Galra are?” I ask with a raised eyebrow, “I expected it to be a little more… purple.” 

Ryner raises their hands and presses several buttons on their control panel, zooming in on the holographic images that illustrate the different on-ground entrances and the composition of the Galra guards surrounding it, which are entirely consistent of Galra sentries. Each entrance has at least ten to fifteen sentries guarding it, and as the images continue to roll in that appears to be a consistent theme.  _ Christ, that's a kind of excessive amount of sentries. What the hell are they guarding?  Where are the Olkari? _

"Their headquarters used to be King Lubos’ palace, this is because it is impenetrable from the ground." Ryner's voice flows like water, their bifocal gaze unreadable as they examine the facility, "But there is one way in, a small opening in the roof." They raise their hands along the holographic images and focus in on the tall tower in the center of the headquarters, zooming in on its peak. It looks a lot like a skyscraper built into the building, like the spoke of the boxy wheel surrounding it, "It goes all the way down to an open courtyard." 

I frown, and I try to count how many floors this skyscraper has based on the window-like streaks of green along the side.  _ It's got to be at least as tall as the Empire State building.  _

I lose count after fifty when Keith leans over the seat next to me, his hair brushes my temple as he rumbles, "That's quite a drop." I try to keep my heart still.  _ Get over it. Get. Over. It. We're on a fucking mission. He doesn't like you back. Oh my god.  _ **_Will._ **

"Yes, but from there you'll have total access to the building." Ryner answers with an academic tone, their gaze flickering over their shoulder back at Keith, "The hard part will be getting onto the roof undetected, as it is incredibly visible to the sentries from all sides." 

Shiro shakes his head confidently, “That won't be a problem." 

All of a sudden Hunk's voice abruptly calls over the com system within the suit, crackling with slight static, "Whoa whoa whoa, what's that? Is that a part of the structure?" I blink, and hear both Pidge and Lance complaining dully over the communicator as they fumble with the dash buttons. Suddenly an image pops up with a stamp that reads "Pidgeon" in the upper lefthand corner.  I watch as the image specifically zooms in on a piece of the building from their perspective along the holographic screen of the suit. It's out of our line of sight, but to them they're just barely able to see behind the building from the video feed Hunk just showed, where there appears to be a  _ massive  _ cube. It's as big as an entire street block, but instead of the soft olive green glow within that all Olkarian tech has it has a familiar violet hue. 

"By Lubos!" Ryner swears, "It can't be!" 

Pidge's voice floats in over the com, "Hey, that kind of looks like the cube Coran has! You know, the one that mimics his voice?" 

"Yeah," I grumble with a dark gaze glued to the cube, "Except this one's huge, and Galra purple." 

Ryner stares at the cube, their voice incredulous and astounded, "I haven't seen one of those in many decafeebs. We used to play with small ones as children, but this? Only King Lubos could have designed one that size." 

"Wait a minute,” I cut in with a deep frown, resting my chin on the back of the seat, “So, if it’s just a toy, why would they need one that big? Why would only the king know how to make it?" 

Keith speaks from my right, "And why  _ would _ the king build it?" 

Ryner's quiet for a moment before they sigh, "They must have forced him to reveal his designs and reconstruct it as a weapon. And from the looks of it, I'd say it's almost finished." 

I frown to myself, yet even as confusing thoughts spiral through my consciousness, I find myself keep getting  _ fucking  _ distracted. Keith's leaning on my right with his gaze fixed before him, black as onyx in the olive light as it casts over his features, the bare hint of his throat above his pulse partially unveiled from his suit,  _ the sensitive part just beneath his jawline...  _

_ Jesus. Christ. Will.  _ **_Stop it._ **

I snap my gaze away and I can feel my cheeks burning.  _ Christ. Christ.  _ **_Christ._ ** _ Fuck you, gay thoughts. _

Shiro's sudden movement interrupts my gay panic as he grasps the back of Ryner’s seat, "Okay, we need to act fast. Everyone back to the armory, I have a plan." His gaze shifts to me once he’s finished speaking and raises an eyebrow at me with an amused grin. I raise an eyebrow back at him almost challengingly,  _ the fuck’s that smile for? _

Ryner takes the lead, pushing the suit back towards the forest with minimal rumbling from the suit. When we arrive back to the armory after a few short minutes, they open the door and they leap out with the grace of a gazelle. We filter out of the suit slowly, and Shiro holds out his hand to help me down once he’s descended. I take it gratefully and use it as leverage to hop down, and right before Shiro releases me he squeezes my hand. When I meet his gaze with a raised eyebrow he gives me a look I can't quite decipher; he raises an eyebrow, almost cloyingly, and flickers his gaze backwards into the cockpit we were just in. I blink at him stupidly, but before I can question him he turns away to get out of the way as Keith leaps down.  _ Okay, weirdo.  _

Pidge, Lance, and Hunk leap down from their suit and stride over to Shiro, and once we’re gather in a circle, Shiro begins to relay his plan with a soft tone, "Alright, here's the plan. First, we'll need to get to the top of that tower." He turns his gaze to Pidge with a jut of his chin, "Since the Green Lion has stealth capabilities, Pidge, you're the drop ship. You'll take, Keith, Lance, Hunk, Will, and me to the roof, then you’ll drop back to a safe position." Pidge nods in affirmation with a determined gaze. 

Shiro turns his gaze to the rest of us with a focused expression, "After the drop, we'll take one of those sensors we used back on the Balmera to scan for any Olkari biorhythms. That should zero in on King Lubos' location. We get in, we get him, then we get back to the courtyard for a pickup from Pidge, and get out before the Galra are any wiser."

I raise a hand a little nervously, “So, when you say  _ drop _ …”

Lance gasps in excitement, "Oh my gosh, guys, we’re doing secret agent stuff again!" He pumps his fist with a bright grin, before he fixes Keith and I with a knowing look, “Don’t go running off this time!” 

We blink stupidly and glance at each other briefly before I find something warm rising in my face.  _ Fuck. I’m just being sensitive. There’s nothing suggestive about that. I’m just being sensitive. Oh my God.  _ "We should get going, then! Come on, let's head back to the Green Lion." I interrupt, turning away slightly with a few steps backward towards hence we came. Ryner appears from behind us, where they had given us the space to converse. They give us a warm bow of respect, "I wish you luck, Paladins." 

"Thanks, Ryner." Pidge answers with a warm and amicable smile, “We’ll be back in no time with your King!” 

With a wave we head back towards the direction we came from our Lions.

"Hey, Will, can you pick up on our lion's signatures?" Shiro suddenly asks from beside me after we've been walking along the grass path for about a minute, and when I glance over at him I see him looking at a map of the area with his suit's computer on a hologram. I blink and tap my wrist, my own holographic panel popping up. I press the map function and I see 6 flickering, color coded dots ahead of us, one for each of our lions. "Yeah, we're going the right way. Look." I answer, holding out my map for him to see. 

Pidge taps on her wrist and glances at her map, and then frowns deeply, "I can see my lion, but I can’t see everyone elses. Good thing that you can, otherwise we might've gotten lost!" She jokes, gesturing with a hand to the trees, "All these trees look the same!" 

I shrug, laughing a little as I take the lead of our party to guide us back to our lions, "White Paladin perks, I guess?" 

"Okay, speaking of paladin perks, where are  _ mine. _ " Lance huffs, crossing his arms as we walk, "When we’re in Voltron Hunk's got his huge and cool cannon, Keith gets the sword and the knife, Pidge gets the shield and the lasers, and you can do all kinds of weird, psycho stuff like transferring damage and stuff!" 

I curl my lip with a grin, "Hey, maybe you just have to bond more with your lion to unlock the rest of its functions?” I gesture idly over my shoulder towards Keith’s direction as I fix my gaze on the hologram, “Oh, and you forgot the Red Lion also has that really big-ass full body plasma gun now, too." 

Lance blinks at me with wide eyes before he whirls to Keith, stammering, "You  _ what _ ?!" 

Keith blinks back at him with equal confusion, “Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten about that…” 

"How could you  _ forget  _ 'bout having a big ass  _ plasma gun?! _ " Lance cries incredulously, throwing his hands in the air. 

"Dude, did you forget you've got the ice beams?" Hunk pipes up helpfully, flickering his gaze between Lance and Keith with upturned brows in worry.  _ No doubt he doesn't want them to start fighting.  _

They have been getting better about that, though. Over the past week they haven't had much of a chance to butt heads, but it does seem to have taken on a more amicable rivalry that Lance originally implied than the outright jealousy that I'd seen in those first few days.  _ That's something, at least. Being at each other's throats doesn't help when we're trying to protect the galaxy. Although, over the past two days they have been seeming to return to one another’s throats again, but I can’t imagine what reignited that again. _

Lance gasps and whirls back on Keith again, "Wait, yeah, that's right! You also got the normal lava thing too! That's so unfair!" 

Keith raises an eyebrow at him cockily, "Maybe the White and Red Lions just like Will and I more." Involuntarily, my pulse stutters out of time.  _ Will and I.  _

**_FOR FUCKS SAKE, WILL._ **

I dig the fingernails of my right hand into the scar on my palm, sharp pain shooting up my arm even from the dulled effects of my gloves and snapping me back to the present.  _ Straight thoughts. Kitties. Puppies. Heterosexuals. Anything other than how gay I am for five. Fucking. Seconds.  _

"I'll have you know that Blue and I are  _ very  _ happy together!" Lance huffs indignantly, turning his nose up at Keith with crossed arms in a dramatic fashion. 

"You sound like you're dating your lion." Pidge jokes with a lilted grin. I snort and cover my mouth with a hand as we all erupt into laughter, the merry sound echoing off the grand expanse above us. I bring up my suit's holographic screen to ensure we're still heading the right way.  _ Yep, almost there. _

"You're just being weird, now!" Lance huffs, and when I glance over at him I see his cheeks are slowly starting to rise in color, obvious even despite the deep chestnut hue of his skin. 

"And  _ you're _ blushing." Keith states with a cocked eyebrow, smirking at Lance in that way he does that’ll inevitably be my cause of death. Lance stammers as the blush grows with his gaze falling off to the side, no doubt as he tries to come up with a smart-ass response. 

"There's the lions!" Shiro abruptly cuts into our enlightening conversation, pointing ahead of us. Sure enough through the trees I can see the lions, their glowing barriers intermingling into all the colors of the rainbow as they intersect from their positions. As we approach, Shiro turns to us with a gesture towards the lions, "Go get your helmets so we can communicate over the coms, then meet up in the Green Lion."

We nod and part ways. I head to the White Lion and head up into the pilot's chamber, grabbing my helmet from the seat with a rushed pace but as I turn away all of a sudden my chest vibrates, like when I have my phone in my pocket. I blink, glancing down, and I can see from within my suit a dull white light shining from my chest.  _ The White Lion's stone. Shit, forgot I was wearing this thing. _ As soon as I noticed the stone's light it dies out and lies still from underneath the armor of my suit.  _ Okay. Weird… But not exactly a major problem right now. Gotta get the Olkari King, worry about weird lion rock stuff later. _

I pull my helmet on and head back outside, approaching the Green Lion. It's the smallest of the rest, but still about as big as a townhouse, the color of mountainside grass on a summer's day accented along its body as it regards us with the same, glowing, golden eyes all of our lions have. It's kneeling down with its maw open, and ahead I can see the others filtering into its mouth with their helmets on. 

“Let’s head down to the cargo bay,” Shiro begins once we convene in the Green Lion’s jaws, “We can leap out from there and dive into the holt at the roof of the tower while Pidge is in stealth mode.” 

I blink with wide eyes, letting out a short breath, “Oh. So  _ that’s  _ what you mean by a drop.” 

“Oh man,” Hunk replies with a nervous inhale, “I never did like heights.” 

Pidge gives Hunk a look as we clamber into the Green Lion’s open door in the back of its throat, “Is there anything you’re  _ not  _ scared of?” 

“Yeah, actually, I think bees are cool.” He answers with an academic tone, one finger raised, “Did you know that-” 

“Focus on the mission and talk about bees later.” Keith interrupts with a businesslike tone. With that, Shiro turns and heads inside the door, heading down the stairs instead of up, towards the cargo bay in the lion's chest instead of the pilot's chamber in its skull, where Pidge is. We follow dutifully. 

Pidge has the bay surprisingly clean, considering how much of a slob her table is back in her hanger. I personally never step foot in my lion’s cargo bay, but now inspecting the space I wonder if this is a good place to go when I want to be left alone; it’s dark, it’s quiet, and spacious.  _ But knowing me, I’d probably bounce off the walls with insanity being alone with my thoughts in such a secluded, dark place _ . Pidge has a few tables within covered with paper, and on the far wall I see several papers all lined up on the wall, tied together with string.  _ A connections board, like from those old cop shows.  _ I move over to investigate just as the Green Lion moves, Pidge's voice coming over the com, "Alright, initiating cloak! I'll open the bay doors below your feet when I get us to the tower." 

I flicker my gaze at the ground and spot the seams in the floor of the door Pidge mentioned, just a foot away from me and about as wide across as a table. Shiro brushes past me into one of the adjacent cargo rooms next to the main room we are collected in, one of three that are about as big as my bedroom back at the Castle. They’re laid out like the outline of a box, the main room we are in and then one room to the left, to the right, and in front of us, though that one is half as big because of the stairs. Hunk makes a noise of fear and leaps away from the seams in the floor, as he was standing right on top of it, and then plays it off with an awkward whistle. Lance gives him a tired look but doesn't say anything. 

We await in tense silence, the emptiness of Green Lion's cargo bay muffling the sound of the Green Lion's thrusters in its paws. 

Shiro emerges from behind me, and in his arms is what looks like a smooth, white egg, made of white Altean metal, about the size of an infant. The sensor.  _ They're a lot bigger in person.  _

With a soft hum, the movement of the Green Lion stills and Pidge's voice comes over the com, "Alright, get ready, opening cargo doors!"  _ That was fast.  _

With a click, the cargo doors in the floor open. The papers on the wall rustle as the rushing winds from the thrusters in the Green Lion's paws billow into the room, roaring with white noise that drowns out the blood pounding in my ears. Far down below is the top view of the tower, the hole is about a 50-100 foot drop into the building. Inside, I can't even see the bottom, but I estimate it's about the same distance, if not three times as much of a fall. 

_ Shit.  _

_ There's a reason I've never skydived.  _

Keith jumps out of the lion without hesitation, engaging his jet pack on the back of his suit to guide his descent downward like it’s just another day. Lance follows soon after and then Hunk, who holds his breath as soon as he jumps like he's cannonballing into a pond. 

_ Fuck, if Hunk can do it…  _ I steel my nerves, gritting my teeth, but I can't bring myself to leap. Shiro glances over at me and rests a hand on my back, giving me an encouraging look.  _ Fuck dammit, I got this, Shiro. _ I turn my gaze back down to the tower as the wild wind whips around me violently.  _ If I can’t jump… _ Instead, I fall. 

My heart leaps into my throat tangibly as the wind whistles loudly in my ears as everything falls away and I descend. The only sound I hear as I fall is my own rapid breath and the whipping wind whistling past my head. I fall through the hole at the top of the tower, and as soon as I enter, the darkness within in comparison to the brilliant light outside practically blinds me. The only thing I can see is the light of Keith engaging his pack to slow his fall to the bottom, then Lance's, then Hunk's below me. I do the same, my entire body jolting as my fall is slowed from the force of the pack's thruster. Jerkily, I descend down, and my eyes adjust to the dimmer light.

The walls are smooth, made of the same dark green material as all the other Olkari buildings, with olive green accented light coming from within. In the center, in a lone patch of grass is a small tree, by Olkari standing, but normal in comparison to the other trees on Earth. It has a reddish hue in its leaves rather than yellow like the ones in the forest, and its roots are gnarled as they entwine in the soil at its base, with a plaque with several markings on it that I can't decipher.  _ Probably a memorial of some sort. That's sweet, I wonder what for?  _

I land on the ground a little harder than I was ready for, and I end up rolling a foot or two with a hard thud on the ground, hard jerking pain shooting up my knees. I get up quickly, adrenaline from the jump coursing through my veins as I hear the sound of the others engaging their bayards in preparation. I do the same and whirl around, examining my surroundings with shaky hands clasping my bayard.

There are four hallways, one leading out into each of the four walls in the square tower, but there are no enemies in sight. I flicker my gaze to the back wall as Shiro finally lands on the ground, sensor at hand. We stand in a protective circle around him, to cover him in case any enemies walk in and spot us, and I can't help feeling entirely exposed here, in the center of the room. It's so quiet that I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, and our rapid breath from the adrenaline pumping fall.  _ May just be the adrenaline. _

Shiro sets the sensor on the ground, not sparing a single moment as he activates it with a tap on its top. It stands up on three legs like a stool, and it pulses out a bright, light blue light, scanning up the walls as the data is downloaded into the computers in our suits. Shiro picks up the sensor and hides it at the base of the tree as soon as the scan is complete, resting it among the roots like an egg in a nest.

“Processing data.” Pidge’s voice, analytic and to the point, comes over the com. Once Shiro has finished hiding the sensor, Pidge sends us a location based on the outlay of the building through our suits’ computers. 

Shiro brings up on his visor, and I see the reflection of the map of the headquarters mapped out before his eyes. He turns, his expression resolute before he points in a curt fashion to the left hand hall, heading that way in a quick and silent manner. The others follow, and I take up the rear, watching our backs for any signs of Galra but the hall and the courtyard is eerily silent.  _ I haven't got a great feeling about this. Not in a freaky, lion-connection sort of way, just a general, normal bad-feeling way, like walking into a classroom just before the teacher announces there’s going to be a pop quiz. _

Shiro stops at the end of the hall where it ends with a three-way impasse and presses against the wall, and like dominoes we all mirror him, cascading down our line as soft, dull, robotic thuds echo off the dark green walls, getting closer by the second.

Two Galra sentries pass without a glance in our direction, which is fortunate, and continue on their patrol as they turn right, moving down the hall that lays in front of us.  _ The Galra sentries really have a deep flaw in design for not having peripheral vision.  _ Once they turn down the hall in the other direction, Shiro waves his hand to our right, the direction the sentries just came from, and we follow after him with silent footfalls on the viridian metal floor. 

At the far end of the hall is a closed door, with no other adjacent halls breaking off from it. When I glance down at my wrist and bring up the hologram of the data Pidge sent, I see the position that Shiro highlighted, the Olkari signature the sensor picked up, lies just beyond this door. We cluster around the entryway, pressed against the walls on either side in preparation to storm the room. 

Within, I can just barely hear the sound of what sounds like… sobbing. Heart wrenching sobs that clench on my throat, practically wailing from within. It makes my throat tighten and my rage spike,  _ I’m more than ready to beat the fuck out of anyone within that causes such pain-filled sobs.   _

Shiro meets my eyes as he seems to draw the same conclusion, and his prosthetic hand illuminates a bright purple as it clenches into a fist. He uses his other hand to open the door quietly, so quiet it sounds similar to a snake's belly dragging across the sand.

It slides open and we file in quickly and quietly. The door only opened into a small atrium with a wall to hide behind right next to the door on the inside before it opens into the larger room within, so our presence won’t be immediately known. We congregate here, and analyze the scene before us.

On the far wall is a massive holographic projection of an Olkari and another alien I've never seen, but it looks a bit like an alligator morphed with a human. They're talking softly in a foreign tongue, but their tones are sombre and dramatic and I know without knowing what they're saying that this is most certainly an alien soap opera. Before the projection is a tall chair with a floating tray of a wide array of food in front of it, at least as big as a coffee table. There are purple fruits, warm soupy-looking bowls, and a pitcher with what looks like apple cider, and a wide assortment of colorful, edible looking things. A large Olkari sits in the massive chair before the food, their back to us but I can clearly see a golden-hued crown perched on their head. King Lubos appears to be wearing what looks like a silken red version of the clothes that Ryner was wearing, but with matching slippers on his stick-like feet. His figure sags, as he is not spindly like the other Olkari we've seen but he's rather fat with a robust girth and a chin that bubbles under his mouth, but more disturbing than this is the person who stands just behind the chair he sits in. They’re another Olkari, thin and lanky with gaunt cheeks and bugging eyes, I can  _ see  _ their skeletal structure through their bare clothes, but with a horrified undertone I realize that it's the same clothing that the prisoners we saved from the ship on Arus wore, a black suit with a ragged purple shirt that hangs off their shoulders, accentuating their gaunt appearance. Between the King and this Olkari, they look like polar opposite ends of a class spectrum.

"Betrayal!" King Lubos, the source of the  _ loud  _ sobbing that echoes in the room, has his gaze glued to the holographic image before him. He blows his nose into what appears to be a kerchief at hand as he continues sobbing, milky green tears rolling down his cheeks,  _ "She loves you!" _  He wails before he hiccups, wiping his eyes with one hand as his shoulders shake when he's racked with more sobs. Shiro glances back at us from where he stands bent around the corner to peer at this scene, his expression one of utter confusion.

_ I get the feeling that King Lubos' captivity hasn't been as awful as his people have been led to believe.  _

Shiro finally steps out and we immediately move to follow him. Lance and Hunk look back at the door hence we came with worried looks, their guns ready just in case anyone were to appear. Keith stands on Shiro's right hand side with his sword ready, yet his expression is entirely perplexed. I move to stand on Shiro's other side as I grasp onto my bayard tightly with a deep frown. 

Shiro speaks hesitantly, "King… Lubos?" 

The gaunt Olkari that stands behind the chair whirls to us with wide eyes, their mouth falling open as King Lubos turns around towards us with a disinterested expression as he continues wiping his eyes, "Uh, yes? Who are you? The jesters I requested?" He sniffles in a pathetic manner and rubs his eyes as they blink, the strange bifocal colors swirling together like yogurt before they return to normal.  _ I think that might be the Olkari version of a listless gaze. Or perhaps he's drunk? Can aliens get drunk? Of course they can, what a stupid question- _

"Um, we're here to like… rescue you?" Lance says with an incredulous tone, as he turns from the door to look at the King, whose expression seems to harden as his eyes stop swirling. 

I immediately bite my lip in worry, "This may just be me, but I'm not entirely sure if he needs rescuing." I whisper just barely loud enough for the others to hear. 

King Lubos doesn't hear me, but he seems to sober up rather quickly at Lance's words. His eyes narrow and his hand grasps the right side of his chair, which makes a dinging noise with a flash of purple.  _ Uh oh.  _

Suddenly, the far wall recedes away entirely and red lights flash, the fallen wall opening into another room on the far side as big as the one we're standing in. Before any of us can react a line of sentries race into the room, at least ten, with their guns trained on us. They freeze just on the other side of the wall that just receded, the sound of their primed weapons ringing in the air as the red lights stop flashing. Behind them comes stalking a massive Galra, the likes of which I've never seen. They are bulky, at least twice as ripped as Sendak, wearing a black and red uniform with two golden eyes peering out on their chest. Half of his face is covered in metal, like Cyborg's from the ancient DC comics where one eye, the mechanical one, is bright red, and the other is the typical Galra gold with the serpentine pupil, all pulled together with the furry ears that jut from the side of his head. His jaw is square and gaunt, it seems to match the crude smile that stretches across his face. As he focuses in on us, my blood freezes in my veins and my grip on my bayard tightens.  _ One red eye, one yellow eye, God save us from these Galra monsters.  _

Hunk looks over at King Lubos, who has risen from his chair to stand behind it, with an incredulous expression, "You could've just said  _ 'No, thanks!' _ "

The Galra's lip curls into a sneer as he turns his gaze over to King Lubos with blood-curdling derision, "Looks like someone's come to rescue you,  _ Lubos _ ."

Finally, two connects to two as we examine Lubos as he stands behind his chair. His clothes, his healthy girth, the food on the platter behind him, the horrible soap opera that, luckily, is paused on the holographic screen behind him. Shiro speaks with an appalled tone, "You turned your back on your people… to save your own skin." It's not a question; it's an accusation. 

King Lubos' eyes go wide, speaking in a chortling tone which I don't think he can help as his cheeks are rather fat, "I'm doing this  _ for  _ my people!" I noticed now that the gaunt Olkari, who has been silent and unmoving this entire time from behind the chair, is looking at King Lubos with such venom in their eyes that it actually gives me shivers.  _ Tell that to the dude standing next to you.  _

"They wanted to fight the Galra, but they're too powerful!" King Lubos cries, holding an extended hands towards the Galra that had entered the room, who watches the exchange with crossed arms and an amused expression as Lubos continues passionately, "The Galra could  _ destroy  _ us!" 

"So, you helped them enslave your people to build some super weapon?" Lance huffs, his gun trained steadily on the Galra. As slowly as I can manage, I move to stand in front of the others as they're clustered around Shiro at the entrance of the room, dragging my feet with glacial steps. I can feel my hands are no longer shaking; they're surprisingly still as a sense of deadly calm washes over me, staring into the yellow eye of the Galra.  _ Just have to get in front of them, then my shield can protect us from the sentries’ fire…  _

"Don't make  _ me  _ the bad guy!" King Lubos huffs, pointing accusingly at the Galra behind him, "He forced me do it!" 

"Did he force  _ feed  _ you too?" Lance snaps back with a disgusted expression, lowering his gun just a little so he can fix King Lubos with an incredulous expression. 

“Uh…” King Lubos' eyes widen in surprise at Lance's words, like he's trying to figure out what Lance was implying with a dumb expression.  _ Wow. This is the king the Olkari revere, that Ryner reveres?  _

"Free will is only ever freely given." I growl under my breath, glaring daggers at the faux king as disgust curls into my chest and flowers into a horrible root in my stomach. "You disgust me. Your people revere you, and for what? For being a coward and an idiot?"

"You're no king." Keith growls passionately from the other side of Shiro. Without any warning he bolts toward Lubos and before we can even speak the thinner Olkari, who had been unmoving and silently glaring at their king from his side until this point, suddenly shoves him towards Keith so hard that the King cries out and nearly falls into Keith's arms.

Keith takes full advantage of the sudden thrust, twisting and wraps an arm around the King's thick neck and holding his bayard just beneath his throat. He hides behind the King’s body, and I realize then that that was exactly what the Olkari was intending, based on the dark satisfaction etched on their features as they stand behind the chair and out of the sentries' line of fire.  _ They look nothing like the other Olkari in the forest. Whatever has happened to this Olkari here has hardened them to someone, something, entirely different.  _

"Okay, we're walking out of here." Keith snarls at the Galra, his bayard held steadily at the King’s throat as Lubos' eyes widen in shock, "Anyone tries to stop us and Lubos gets it!" 

Shiro's eyes are wide in horror, and he immediately pipes up with an edge of anxiety, "Whoa, Keith!" 

Lance's voice is completely astounded, "That came out of nowhere!" 

I don't waste time questioning his methods; I move and stand to Keith’s left with my bayard ready, soundlessly staring at the Galra leader, who merely watches the events unfold with an amused glint in his yellow eye.  _ Any sign of shots, and I'll be able to protect Keith and maybe even Lubos with my shield. But one has a bit more priority than the other. But why isn’t that Galra pissed? Why is he grinning like this? _

Lubos' eyes flicker to the Olkari that pushed him, literally, into this situation and whimpers plaintively, "La-sai…? What are you doing?"

La-sai, the thin Olkari, merely glares ferociously at Lubos before he speaks in the willowy, whale like tones that the other Olkari have. Of course it makes sense that Lubos has a transladazine, but whoever this La-sai is doesn't so we hear him speaking in his native tongue. Yet, even without a transladazine, I can hear the cutting anger and hatred in La-sai's voice as they spit at the King, who merely stares at the furious Olkari with wide eyes.

Keith's grip on Lubos tightens, and he whimpers as Keith hisses, "You don't want me to hurt your  _ genius engineer _ , right?" He uses the words  _ genius engineer  _ with a tone full of distaste, his bayard touching Lubos' throat. 

The Galra merely stares with an amused lip curl.  _ He hasn't even moved. Why hasn't he moved? _

"Oh, be my guest." The Galra chuckles in a dark manner, his gaze fixed onto Keith with an amused lilt, "His work is done. The cube is complete." 

Keith's eyes widen in surprise, and his grip on Lubos loosens just a bit. Lubos gasps, his eyes flying wide as Keith's grip on him continues to loosen at this turn of events, "W-What?! But, I thought we had a deal!"

I growl, curling my lip in disgust while spitting fury at the stony Galra, "Do  _ all _  you damn Galra have no fucking regard for people's lives?" 

"Guards," The Galra growls with a curled lip, watching with sick satisfaction glinting in his eyes, "Put them  _ all  _ out of their misery." 

The guns of the sentries prime, and time slows. Lubos breaks from Keith's grip with a fearful noise to dive to the side and knocks Keith off balance as the first shot fires. I know as soon as I see the purple light where it's honed in, and I act without thinking. Immediately I turn and cry, "Down!" and tackle Keith to the ground. The room violently shakes as blinding pain explodes in my hip and everything suddenly gets really, really fast.

I hear the sound of metal breaking and cracking and a flash of blue and violet light overhead all in the span of a second, my ears are ringing and everything blurs. Something hurts, something feels really, unnaturally hot on my side, like I’m leaning against a hot stove but no matter where I move the feeling persists. Keith's hands grasp onto my shoulders and suddenly my back is pressed to the ground, he's hovering over me. His hand smacks the side of my helmet, causing the painful ringing in my ears to immediately subside. "What’s wrong with you? Why didn’t you use your shield!" 

“‘Cause I’m an idiot, Keith!” I hiss, curling my lip while I sit up as fast as I can manage, although the action does nearly make me wanna throw up. “I’m good!” 

I see now where the blue light had come from; Pidge, probably hearing the whole conversation over the com, took matters into her own hands, as the Green Lion's head is now in the space the sentries and the Galra once was. There's a massive, gaping rip where the Green Lion’s head juts into the side of the room, and the smoking pieces of sentries’ remains litter the space. The three surviving sentries are firing on us as the Green Lion's maw opens, but luckily it seems Keith, Lubos and I ended up behind his chair when the room went crazy, a good shield against the oncoming fire. The others are able to defend with their shields, and as Lubos cowers pathetically beside me Hunk leaps over the knocked over tray of food to grab him with his golden shield aloft, hauling his ass towards the Green Lion's head. I can hear him yelling something at Lubos, something about  _ 'Stop crying' _ or maybe  _ 'I'm trying to help you' _ . Keith's arm loops under my shoulders and he pulls me to my feet with a sharp tug, and I can vaguely hear him telling me to run through the pounding in my skull. The tug upwards causes blinding pain to shoot up my side, and I curl my lip as a gasp escapes. The whole room feels like it's vibrating, and it doesn't help that I can hear that Galra's horrible voice shouting, "Engage the cube! Take down the lion!" 

Keith taps his wrist and his shield in his armor engages, but its barely enough protection as the surviving sentries continue to fire. I watch the others bringing La-sai and Lubos into the Green Lion's maw, and Keith hisses as a shot nearly glances his arm. This shield isn’t enough.  _ Move, Lancaster.  _

I turn with a pained noise and snap out my bayard, grasping both sides from either side of Keith's head to engage the shield. It effectively covers us both entirely, but now I'm awkwardly facing his direction. I rest my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and hissing to him, "Let's go!" He glances at me, our visors pressed together, and everything seems to snap into place; the ringing fades, the shots hanging in the air seems to sharpen, and the air stills.

The pain fades almost immediately, adrenaline pumping into my veins and all I can think of is  _ protect him.  _

He attempts to help me along but with my resurgence of energy I disengage from him entirely, holding out my shield to protect us from the fire and move towards the Green Lion. He follows quickly, and I can hear him yelling something but I can't make out the words, and I don't really care to. We leap into the Green Lion's mouth once we’re free and Pidge immediately snaps it shut as we press into the sides of its teeth to hold on as she flies us out of the hole she's made in the side of the building. I look through the gaps of the Green Lion's teeth, the hot pain in my side beginning to spike up at regular pulses now that the immediate danger has passed.  _ Hang in there, adrenaline, keep us going. Fuck it hurts- He said engage the cube, where's the cube?  _

"The cube is operational!' Shiro cries suddenly, and I glance over to see him pointing through a gap in the Green Lion's teeth on the other side of its mouth. I peer through it and spot cube's position on the opposite side of the building. Its sides are lit up a bright, malevolent violet as it launches from its resting position and floats creepily above the ground, like a mere gliding shadow. I never would’ve been able to tell that it was moving save for the trees bending as it passes. "We've got to get back to the other lions and form Voltron!" Shiro cries, his gaze flickering to us with an anxious expression as the wind tousles the white shock in the front of his hair. 

"On it!" Pidge's voice cries over the com system, and the Green Lion races through the sky and back towards the forest. The surprise thrust causes me to nearly fall, but luckily Keith is standing rather close beside me and wraps his arms around my waist to hold me steady, but his hand pressing against my side causes it to absolutely  _ scream  _ in agony. I push his hands away with a desperate motion, shaking breaths of pain ripping from my lungs as I lean more heavily against one of the Green Lion’s canines instead. He looks at me with wide, worried eyes before his gaze flickers down to my side. I follow it, worried to see the worst. 

Good news, there's no blood. Bad news, that's because my hip is utterly barbequed from the shot I took. My flesh is seared red and raw where my suit melted off and my skin with it- __ I quickly look away and cover my mouth, leaning against one of the Green Lion's teeth so I don’t throw up.  _ God, that’s so so gross.  _

That’s when I start to feel something pleasantly warm spreading from my chest, like having a bowl of soup resting on it. I look down at my chest and see a brilliant white light shining from under my armor.  _ That's right, the stone. Thank god I started wearing this thing around. Do the healing shit! _

__ "Will's hurt!" Keith cries with a worried edge in his voice, his wide gaze flickering up to Shiro. Shiro snaps his gaze to me, and the others in the mouth of the Green Lion fall silent as Keith shouts, "We gotta-" 

"I'll be fine." I hiss, smacking his arm to shut him up. No sooner do I say the words than I feel my chest grows even more incredibly warm as the stone's power envelopes me, and the pain begins to ease. Keith whirls on me with a pissed expression but stops, his gaze falling from my face to my chest. “See?” I grumble, touching the stone from over my armor, and as it brightens the pain begins to alleviate even more, the feeling growing stronger and stronger as I meet Keith's gaze, "I'll be fine." 

Keith's eyes are wide with some light that I've never seen, a combination of worry and anger, but I don't pause to worry about it. I turn to Shiro as he moves awkwardly in the jostle of Pidge’s lion towards me with a worried look, I see his eyes on my side. I quickly bark at him with a curled lip, "I'll be fine! We gotta stop that cube before it does… whatever the fuck it's supposed to!"

Suddenly, with a crack, the Green Lion lands in the clearing. We brace ourselves on the teeth and I blink as white light from my stone pulses so bright it shines out like a star through my armor. I pull it out from beneath my chestplate and gaze at it with a slight frown.  _ It seems to have gotten more powerful the farther we got from the tower. I feel incredibly invigorated, actually, like I just took a shot of espresso. I could run a marathon. _

The Green Lion's jaws open, and Pidge comes racing downstairs from the pilot's chamber. I look up as the others gather through the Green Lion's jaws. The White Lion’s gaze is looking over in our direction, not straight forward like how I left her. 

_ Or… maybe it was the closer we got. Maybe my stone is more powerful the closer I am to the White Lion.  _

_ That makes perfect sense, actually. Great thinking, Will, you absolute genius. _

"Come on." Shiro suddenly grumbles in a sharp tone as he reaches over and grabs the scruff of King Lubos' neck. He had been cowering in the back of the lion's mouth like we wouldn't notice him while La-sai stood over him, staring down at him with a dark and judgmental expression that sends chills up my spine.

Shiro pulls Lubos out of the Green Lion, and we follow after with mixed expressions. Outside, hundreds of Olkari are gathered in the clearing, some with weapons and others without with Ryner leading the pack. As we emerge, the entirety of the Olkari cry out in joy upon seeing their beloved king. "Lubos!" 

However, their cries were cut short when Shiro shoves Lubos down on the ground at the feet of the Olkari. They gasp and stare with wide eyes as the king falls to his knees, holding his head down and his palms up like a disgraced televangelist.  _ Christ, he could stand to be less pathetic.  _

"What's going on?" Ryner asks with an incredulous tone, their eyes widening when they see Shiro's surprising treatment of Lubos. No sooner do we leave does La-sai disappear into the crowd of Olkari, who part before their dark presence like they’re the spectre of death itself.

Shiro is more than happy to explain, his tone sharp and deadly, "While your countrymen starved, King Lubos was well taken care of by the Galra. He  _ willingly  _ helped them build that cube, and he  _ willingly  _ helped __ to enslave his own people." Lubos sighs softly as he sits up, his gaze very much like that of a dejected kindergartner as his shoulders slump forward. 

The Olkari's reaction is immediate. The entire crowd let out varying horrified cries, of hurt and anger, all crying his name in a completely different tone than just a second ago.

"I know you're devastated," Shiro cries with an empowering tone over the din of their cries of anguish, which surprisingly quiets them down; he continues with a rallying cry, his jaw set and his gaze firm, "But it's time to be strong, and use your Olkari spirit to fight alongside Voltron and take back your planet!" 

The clearing is eerily quiet. Finally, after several seconds of tense silence, Ryner turns with a high chin and glares down their face at the fallen king, " _ Lubos.  _ How  _ could  _ you?" 

“I… I was only trying to…” The former King began to blubber uncomfortably, but Ryner wasn't having any of it. "Enough!" They snap. Lubos' gaze immediately snakes back to his feet as Ryner turns to their people with a curled lip, their strange bifocal eyes glimmering with passion as they face the Olkari, "We must free our people!" 

They roar, and immediately the rallying cries of the Olkari echo through the treetops, so loud and powerful and  _ primal  _ that I tremble. 

"Ryner, you take your people and assault the city. We’ll form Voltron and take out the cube.” Shiro's voice is snappy and we turn towards him with combined, determined gazes. Ryner only solemnly nods with a brisk jut of their hand before they turn towards their people to prepare for battle.

Without another word, we turn from the Olkari's trumpeting calls to war to enter our lions. 

_ Fighting a cube.  _

_ Honestly, not the weirdest thing that's happened. I should think about it at some point and determine what  _ **_has_ ** _ been the weirdest thing, because there’s been a lot. _

I break from the team and head into the jaws of the White Lion as she kneels to allow me inside. As soon as I sit down in my seat, her essence swarms me from within, purring in worry like a lioness with her cub, so loud that the very cabin seems to rumble. I touch her holographic panel affectionately, "Aww, hey, I'm good, thanks for checking. I'll be fine." Her worry recedes like a tidal flow, slow and consistent as I flicker my gaze down to the White Lion's stone around my neck. Its light is brilliant, almost blinding as the energy courses through my veins and especially into my side.

I look down to check on the wound and watch the skin actively  _ growing back  _ over the burnt flesh, like roots spreading from within. I blink at this for several seconds to see if it’s just a figment of my imagination before returning my gaze to the stone.  _ Okay, kind of gross… but also, more importantly, how is this possible?  _ I glance up at Silver’s controls and I rest my palms over the bar, closing my eyes and letting out a soft breath.  _ It's worth a shot. Please, give me answers.  _

All’s silent for a beat or two, so I open my eyes and speak to the White Lion in a low tone, "How are you able to heal me like this?" 

There's silence for several seconds when all of a sudden a series of images flash before my eyes, like a dream even though I'm wide awake. The stone around my neck, and another stone that rests within the heart of the White Lion, deep in her circuits, and a string of burning gold energy, sparking like fire but liquid like water, tying the two together. Pulses are sent through the stones, and then I see my eyes reflected in the White Lion's when the images abruptly fade. 

I remember to breathe.  _ I’ve seen these images before, when the White Lion was asking for my permission to transfer damage, but I didn’t see that golden line. _

I frown and verbally digest this, "So… You have a stone, too. It connects us with… that gold stuff. That's how you're able to heal me, you transfer your power through that chord into the stone and then into me." I feel her rumble of affirmation deep in my chest in response.  _ Helpful. _ “Okay…” I murmur, biting my lip as I peer down at the stone, "But wait, how are you able to transfer damage to me when I'm not wearing it?" 

Apparently, my lion is done being helpful now, as she grows silent and her essence draws away from me. I huff in annoyance at her just as Lance's voice comes over the com, "Dude, Will, you coming or what?" I blink and look up through the eyes of the White Lion at the sky and see that the others are hovering above in formation.  _ Shit, right, Voltron.  _

"Sorry, yeah, coming!" I call with a slightly embarrassed noise and press the White Lion into the sky to join them. As soon as I'm close, the familiar tug of the others' essences swarms around me, entangling within me like a mental group hug as our lions purr in unison. The lions meld together with a series of mechanical resonance, and we form Voltron. 

"Alright team, let's take that thing down!" Shiro calls dramatically over the com, and I engage Voltron's thrusters to rise into the atmosphere. I peer down at the forest once we've risen to a substantial height and quickly spot the cube hovering just above the treetops, coming from the base towards our position. It seems rather unremarkable save that it's about 3 or 4 times as big as Voltron, and the purple accented lights along its side pulsing at regular intervals, like it's scanning the treeline.  _ Something tells me that there is more to this thing than just what we see. _

As we hover in the air, the cube seems to sense our presence; a large, purple rune blossoms on its side, and the cube pulses every color of the rainbow to the rune before a massive bolt of violet energy shoots out like lightning towards us. Lance and Hunk's coordinated efforts allow Voltron to dodge to the side as the blast whizzes by, and with loud thrums of energy the cube continues its fire, the rune appearing along its surface at different points on its surface to follow us as we approach without moving the cube itself. 

With a commanding tone Shiro cries, "Form shield!" Pidge immediately engages the shield from within the Green Lion, the red wings on Voltron snapping to her and forming the shield as the cube sends out another blast. It directly strikes the shield and I feel the attack from within my cabin so I engage the thrusters in Voltron's back to minimize the blow-back. Hunk and Lance blast forward with the shield in front to protect us from the attacks as Keith growls, "Let's see how tough this magic cube is!"

The Red Lion lashes forward from behind the protection of the shield, and he blasts the cube with the Red Lion's laser cannon. The scarlet light races forward and instead of crashing into the cube's side like we were expecting it seems to…  _ swallow  _ it. The red light enters the cube and the cube pauses its firing, its black surface shimmering as the light within fades. We hold our breath until a new rune reflects on its side, this one the same bright red as the laser from the Red Lion, before a matching red beam launches back towards us almost in reciprocation. I barely roll Voltron out of the way in time as Pidge shouts in alarm, "Did that thing just _  absorb _  our lasers?!"

"We need to increase fire power!" Shiro snaps with a stressed tone, "Hunk, use your blaster!" 

"I don't think that's a very good id-" Pidge begins to say but Hunk cuts her off with an abrupt "I got it!" I feel the Yellow Lion's resounding purr through Voltron as he engages the blaster, the heavy weight clanking onto Voltron's right shoulder as it forms. Pidge grumbles angrily and blocks another incoming red blast just as Hunk blasts the cannon with a massive, thundering whine. We’ve managed to fly onto a grassy plateau devoid of trees, so I land Voltron onto the ground to use it as a point of contact for Lance and Hunk to lean into the blast to minimize the blowback. The massive stream of golden fire erupting from the cannon blasts the cube, and it halts on its tracks as the sheer firepower envelopes it with a dull roar. Hunk cheers victoriously, " _ Ye-heah! _ I think it's working!" 

As the cannon blast ends, there's a tense moment of silence as the dust settles. The cube remains, completely unchanged as the light, just like before, dies. Another, different rune, this one golden-yellow, bursts on its side, and a massive blast of light rockets from the cube and towards us. I position Voltron carefully behind Pidge's shield as we absorb the blast but it rocks me in my cabin from the sheer force, pushing us backwards a few feet as Lance and Hunk readjust our footing to balance us against the blast. 

"It's giving back whatever we fire into it, like Coran's echo cube!" Shiro shouts over the com.

Pidge sighs tiredly, "Yeah, that's what I was trying to  _ tell  _ you guys, it's learning! It's making its own version of our weapons to use against us!" 

With a loud thrum that causes the nearby trees to rip from their roots and fly into the air the pulse intensifies, I can feel the strain of the shield from within my cabin as Lance responds with a snappy tone, "We can't just sit here, we've gotta move!" Lance and Hunk both coordinate their thrusters to twist Voltron out from behind the shield and dodge to the side away from the blast.

I suck in breath as Voltron turns its back on the cube in its evasive maneuver and I shout in warning, "Don’t turn-! Watch out!" But it was too late; the cube takes advantage of our back turned to escape and the massive blast strikes us square in the back. I suck in breath with a soft gasp as I feel it on my own spine, like I just got really aggressively kicked. Voltron is sent flying and we collide into a grand, expansive meadow, sending massive clumps of earth flying as we slide to a stop. I quickly shake us off as fast as I can and engage our thrusters to evade just as the cube fires another massive discharge at us, but this time we're ready. We fly over the treetops towards the mountainside away from the cube, and take a second to catch our breath once we're out of the cube's range, "Okay, so how do we beat it?" Hunk calls over the com with a stressed tone. 

"Well, maybe if we form our sword, we can cut through the surface and hack right into the center, thinking… point… place?" Lance voice is strained yet confident, and slowly morphs into slight confusion at the end as I roll Voltron to the side to dodge an incoming shot from the cube, now following behind us like the steady, black specter of death.

Keith answers with a determined tone, "Can't be any worse than what's happening right now."

"Let's do it! Form sword!" Shiro cries, and with a snap in front of Voltron the Green and Red Lions smash together with enthusiastic roars, the sword forming between their teeth and unsheathing from someplace deep and hidden within Voltron with a ring of metal. I double Voltron back towards the cube, dodging to the left and to the right with quick bursts of the thrusters as the cube fires on us until we get close enough to use the sword. Keith rises with the Red Lion as we descend on the cube, and with a massive burst he slices the sword clean through the middle of the cube.

We land beneath the cube with a loud crash, crushing the massive trees, no taller than up to Voltron’s chest, underfoot as we rise to look up at the cube. The two cut pieces slide down, the inside portion of the cube throbbing a brilliant pinkish-purple hue as Pidge cries out, "I think it's working!" 

But as purple lightning sparks across the two halves of the cube, the purple light snaps back to black with a mechanical whir, the purple accents flashing for a moment as Shiro snaps, "The cube's still operational, re-engage!" 

"Wait-!" I cry but the thrusters in Lance and Hunk's lions have already engaged to launch Voltron into the air. Keith swings the sword across the cube through the middle of the two halves, and the 4 smaller cubes, about as big as one of our lions, begin to fall to the forest floor. 

Hunk shouts with a relieved tone, "We did it! They're going down!"

Suddenly, the cut cubes stop falling. They flash with purple accents and they whirl back towards us, rising up to encircle us all around as Lance gasps, "Uh oh!" 

“Goddamnit.” I swear, “If we can’t shoot it and we can’t cut it, how do we destroy it?”

The cubes begin to fire from all sides, various bursts of gold, red, and violet. Pidge raises Voltron's shield as I curve Voltron to the side to avoid a blast, Pidge blocks two of the bursts but the fourth cube grazes our hip by the Blue Lion. I hiss as I feel the pain as my own, a sharp, stinging pain along my lower thigh like a row of thorns just ripped into my suit. 

"We gotta move!" Shiro snaps, and I rotate Voltron to the side as he cries again,  _ "Move!" _ I engage the thrusters with the Yellow and Blue Lions and we rise into the air, leaving the cubes behind for an easier time evading their shots, but the smaller cubes are much faster than us. One races by and turns from above us and halts our ascent upward with a crimson shot at our face, but Pidge holds up the shield to block the blow just in time, only for another shot from the other three cubes blasts Voltron in the back. We fall towards the treeline as a throbbing pain forms between my shoulder-blades

Shiro barks, "We can't fight them like this! We need to split up; back into lions!" 

With a snap we relinquish our ties to each other and split into our lions, I let out a deep exhale as I plummet, landing on the ripped meadow below us and curl the White Lion's claws into the grass. With the momentum of landing and a burst of thrusters I launch into the air and immediately I'm assaulted by the amount of blasts coming from the cubes, each one able to shoot from any of its six sides at any given time,  _ no blind spots.  _ Instead of rising I curve the White Lion back down towards the surface and engage her mouth lance with a smash of a button on her holographic panel and it appears between her teeth, the blades glimmering like ice in the sunlight as I rise back up towards the cubes to attack from below. As I approach the closest cube it fires on me with a blast of purple light, and I have to barrel roll to avoid it, barely able to right my lion in time to continue dodging shots.

"Let's see if I can ice blast these guys!" Lance cries, and I look up to see the Blue Lion firing its frozen laser at the nearest of the four cubes. Ice consumes the cube, covering it entirely but with a violent hum the ice sucks into the cube instead. The cube’s light dies just like before, when a blue, icy blast shoots out from the cube and encases the Blue Lion's head entirely in ice. 

Lance shouts in shock, and I hear his teeth chattering over the com, " _ AH! _ So cold! So cold!" I dodge to the side as another cube fires on me, and I leap through the air with a purr from deep within my lion as I edge closer and closer towards it with my lance.  _ Don't just cut it into halves, scratch the surface, rake across it to damage it but don't break it into halves like we did before that put us in this mess. That might do some damage. _

Keith blasts the Blue Lion with his magma beam from the side which instantly shatters the ice, the Blue Lion shakes its head with a glance over at the Red Lion's position, "Thanks Keith!" Lance murmurs with a relieved tone. 

"No problem." Keith answers as I finally manage to get close enough to one of the cubes to strike with the White Lion's lance. With a toss of her head I rake a bladed end across the surface of the cube but before metal meets metal the cube fires a powerful red blast right into the side of the White Lion's head. 

Stars.

_ Stars.  _

_ … Why does my mouth taste like cotton?  _

"Pidge and Will are both down!"  _ God why is Lance's voice so fucking loud, shut up, I'm trying to sleep.  _

"Pidge! Will! Where are you, we need you!"  _ … That's Shiro.  _

_ Wait, what was I doing?  _

I open my eyes and I see the flickering across the White Lion's holographic screen. I hear what sounds like thousands of lasers, echoing within my head and causing it to hurt,  _ so so bad, fuck.  _

"Pidge! Will!" 

"... I'm here." I murmur, holding my head in my hands as I rest my palms back over the White Lion's controls. She makes a noise of concern, reverberating in my chest as I curl my nose against the pain in my skull. I look up through the trees and see the broken wood, the falling golden leaves spiraling down from my violent descent. I see blue and red and purple lasers firing in the sky, and after a moment the Yellow Lion whizzes by with a cube on its tail, firing intermittent shots.  _ Right. Cubes. Fuck, my friends!  _ Within the White Lion and I resonates a violent growl, and I bare my teeth as I launch back into the sky. 

I pounce on the cube from the forest floor and dig my claws into the smooth, black metal. It creaks and groans beneath my claws, and as soon as the tell-tale rune flashes on its side of an impending shot I whiz out of the way, rolling off to the side and down towards the forest as more firing shots come from the side. I hear loud cracks of broken bark, like thunder across the landscape and I turn the lion to see the Black Lion rising from a massive broken tree from where it seems to have crashed from a cube’s shot. We double back onto Shiro’s position and cluster around him protectively as the cubes grow closer, their purple predatory gazes fixed upon our collection of lions. As I glance from side to side I don’t see the Green Lion and immediately fear climbs in my throat.  _ Where's Pidge? _

"Hang on!" Pidge's voice cries over the com with a confident tone, and we all immediately gasp in relief,  _ "Pidge!"  _

Suddenly, rising from the treetops comes the Green Lion, practically thrumming with a power that I have never witnessed before that rolls off of its surface with powerful waves. I can hear it… her, the Green Lion, purring from here, two heartbeats pressed into one, her armor seems to be glowing in the sunlight,. I press forward and hover over the other lions with my teeth bared, ready to protect them from any more shots as Pidge's lion races at lightning speed between the cubes and all the way around as Hunk cries "Whoa, Pidge, what's going on, you're booking!" 

I can hear Pidge's wild grin over the com as she answers, "I'm not sure, but I feel more connected to my lion than ever! I know what to do!" Pidge's lion pounces on all four of the cubes, drawing their attention as she launches into the sky, and something in me, intuition, a gut feeling, tells me to hang back and watch. With a flash of brilliant viridian the Green Lion is enveloped in light as she doubles back and faces off against the cubes with a determined snarl. As the grassy green light dies, on the Green Lion's back is a gun with a barrel like a shotgun just as large as the one Keith had during our face down with Zarkon. The Green Lion blasts the closest cube with a flash of jade, and as it collides into the side of the cube and is absorbed, just like all the other shots, except the cube's light doesn’t fade, instead suddenly snapping to green. With a violent explosion, massive, gnarling vines spring out from within the cube's core, ripping the metal apart from within as the cube falls to the forest floor with a dying, mechanical whine, nothing but a bundle of hardened vines cradled around the broken remains of the cube.

" _ Whoa _ , how'd you do that?!" Lance gasps dramatically over the com as the other cubes fire on the Green Lion with various blasts of gold, crimson, and purple. 

Pidge laughs maniacally, "Yeah, that's right, circle up everybody, get some of this!" The Green Lion fires the gun on its back at the next closest cube and the same thing occurs, its light fades to green before it’s utterly crushed by thick vines that consume the cube and send it crashing to the ground. Pidge fires again on the third cube before landing the Green Lion on top of it, facing off with the fourth and final cube as the third cube's lights flash green, and just as the vines explode from it Pidge fires her cannon at the final cube. With ripped metal being thrown down to the landscape, utterly encircled by the thick vines, Pidge hovers and then lands on the surface of the planet before us. I can practically feel her victorious grin. 

"Heh." Hunk chuckles under his breath, "Vines. Well, that's not how I thought a giant cube of death would go down, but I'm not gonna complain." 

"Hey, look!" Lance cries, and I turn and follow the Blue Lion's gaze back over the mountain range. Just at its base is the city, and I can see the rising of smoke coming from the buildings and the firing of olive green and violet light into the sky from askew shots, "I think the Olkari are taking back the city!" 

Suddenly, the forest, the trees, the roots, the very earth, shakes. We look up over to the mountain range and spot a massive Galra cruiser, its nose pointing upwards as it rises from the city. I tense and grasp the controls in preparation for another battle, but it doesn't fire on us, or the city. Instead, it continues to ascend upwards, turning its tail and blasting off the surface of the planet with a loud hum of thrusters and into the sky.  _ They're retreating.  _

_ Now's my chance. _

I engage the White Lion's thrusters and launch into the sky after it when I hear Shiro's voice, "Will, where are you going? They're retreating!" 

I huff and pause in flight, whirling around to turn my lion back to the others with a vexed tone, "We can't let them get away! What if they come back with reinforcements or something?" 

Lance's voice is a little tense as he answers, "We can't just destroy them, they're running away! We won, dude!"

I growl in frustration, "We can't just let them go!" As soon as the words come out of my mouth, a dark force seizes my chest and tightens my grip on the controls.  _ There's no point arguing with them, they won't see reason. I’ll just do it myself.  _

I turn away from them and engage my thrusters, even when I hear Shiro shouting my name I ignore him and I blast towards the ship with a burning anger deep set in my stomach.  _ You're not getting away to go terrorize another planet, to hurt anyone else. Not while I have any say in it.  _

Suddenly, with a violent jerk, my ascent after the retreating Galra vessel is halted as I feel a hard tug from behind me. I growl and whirl my lion's gaze around and see the Red Lion's jaws clamped around her tail. 

"Hey!" I snap angrily,  _ "Let go!" _

"We're going back to the city. The Olkari might need help!" Keith’s voice answers me over the com with a surprisingly pragmatic, yet commanding tone _.  _ I glance behind him at the others in their lions, silently watching this scene unfold. 

I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment to swallow my anger.  _ Maybe he’s right. The Olkari need us to sweep up any leftovers, not to seek and destroy a retreating ship.  _ I bite down the sour taste in my throat as the Red Lion’s jaws release my lion’s tail, and without deeming a response I brush past him and turn my lion’s snout towards the city. 

_ Can't believe that for once, Keith was the voice of reason. That must really mean that I kinda just went off the rails a little bit.  _

_ Yeah, let's not think too hard about that. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I really tossed around this episode in my mind, because in my head it's only purpose was to serve as character development for Pidge, and could be placed anywhere. I thought about moving it around and them getting the message, but before they're able to go to Olkarion it skips to Episode 5 (which we'll see next but no spoilers!). But I think it's important to put it here because it also is Voltron's second planet that they freed from Galra control, which is important for their character development as a team, and ALSO bc of my decision to have Keith and Will have the Talk (TM) instead of Keith talking to Coran about the blade I needed to include it before the sudden call. Also, you know, angst? And?? Yeah It's wild out here fam. We'll see how this holds up to my editing later.  
> \--   
> after editing later, I have confirmed that this is a very necessary piece where it is, and now have a canonical reason why it needs to be here (which Dreamworks did not, I think, so Whatever)


	21. The Second Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olkarion is reclaimed for the Olkari, and Voltron takes a much deserved, celebratory break.  
> Unfortunately, the party goes a bit awry, but this time it isn't in the "getting the Castle nearly stolen by Sendak" but in more of a "Oh, that's gonna bite me in the ass in the morning" sort of awry.  
> \----  
> ***WARNING: There are some depictions and descriptions of a panic attack in the middle, it starts when Will gets back into his lion, so take care of yourself, please!**

The Olkari took back the city with surprising ease, considering that the main body of the Galra fleet turned tail once they saw that Voltron destroyed the cube. We circle the city, observing the smoke rise from explosive technology as the Olkari utterly decimate the remaining Galra forces. It’s very clear that they do not need our assistance, based on the progression of smoke rising as they take over the city. They'd have the Galra cleared out within a few minutes, I'd wager.

“Allura, Coran, come in.” Shiro’s voice cuts through the com. Immediately, Allura’s pleasant voice floats back in response, “We hear you, Shiro! What’s going on? The Galra vessel left in such a hurry we didn’t get the chance for retaliatory fire!”

“The Olkari have retaken the planet.” Shiro answers briskly, “They’re cleaning up the last of their forces.”

“Excellent, good work!” Allura congratulates, her tone morphing into a more commanding tone as she continues, “We’re entering the atmosphere now. I would like to formally introduce myself and speak with the Olkari about joining the Voltron Alliance now that the Galra are handled."

“Good thinking. We’ll see you on the ground.” Shiro responds in a curt, military manner as he orders to the rest of us, “Let’s-“

“Paladins! The city is retaken, but an unfamiliar ship is entering the atmosphere.” A sudden voice calls over the com, but softer, like it’s being shouted into a bad speaker. I feel something encompass my lion as we hover over the city, and for a moment I stall at the sudden… not quite intrusion, but disturbance of this voice's presence.

“Ryner?” Shiro’s voice rises in surprise.

Pidge, seemingly unphased by this, responds immediately, “Don’t worry, they’re with us! They actually wanna speak to you, can you meet us outside the city in a couple ticks?”

“Copy that.” Ryner replies, and their presence immediately recedes. 

“What was that?” I ask with furrowed eyebrows, gazing down at the smoking city through my lion’s eyes. I see nothing but the broken and ripped metal of Galra sentries. 

“Oh, Ryner just tapped into our com system. Olkari connection to tech and all that.” Pidge answers helpfully.

We meet up with Allura and Coran as they bring the Castle down on the outskirts of the city to meet up with Ryner outside the city gates, red streaks trailing along its sides during its steady descent into the atmosphere like the sail of comets as it nears our position. Shiro guides us down to the ground as the Castle stabilizes on the earth, landing the Black Lion just a bit away from the landing Castle. I pull up just behind him as the others land their lions in a collection around Shiro, and slowly but surely the trembling ground steadies once more as the Castle touches down. 

Pidge’s voice, perplexed and confused, comes over the com, “Uh…” 

I sit silently waiting for any sort of follow up, but Pidge doesn’t answer. Eventually Shiro chips in, “You alright, Pidge?” 

She doesn’t answer for several seconds, “I think… I think my lion just gave me a stone like Will’s.” 

I blink, and I stand upright from my console with a hand on the right side of my helmet, “What do you mean?” 

“Like,” Pidge’s words are jumbled, and as she grows more perplexed she starts to speak quicker, “I don’t know, just as we were circling around I got this really warm feeling and then when we landed and I let go of her controls I felt something in my hand and it’s just this… green rock.” I can hear that she’s squinting at the perplexing object as she continues, “It’s on a pendant like yours, it’s the same density and shape, but it looks like it’s… malachite? Jade? I don’t know, it’s just like Will’s except it’s green, and without the dragon, which is kind of unfortunate-” 

“So…” Hunk perks up after a moment, his voice is loud over the com as the Castle finally touches down on the ground with a violent shake, “Does that mean we are all gonna get matching medallions at some point? That’s kind of cool, right? Do you think your stone will heal you like Will’s, too? Are you gonna get your own little dragon? That would be really cool-“

“Aww, man, I want my lion to give me a rock!” Lance interrupts with a loud and whiny tone, “A rock with special powers, that is. I don’t really want a normal rock, that would be lame.” 

“It sounds like something we should investigate when we get back on the Castle.” Shiro answers with a pragmatic tone, “Let’s meet outside.” 

I rise to regroup with the others on the ground, I feel jittery like I’m on a sugar high. My lion shifts to allow me to exit through her jaws, and as I walk down the stairs I become aware of the weight of my lion’s stone around my neck. So,  _ this must be a thing that all of us get from our lions, but why? What triggers it? Why was Pidge’s so late to the game? Or why was mine so early? Where are the others for everyone else? What even  _ **_are_ ** _ these, this all makes no sense… I have to see Pidge’s for myself. _

I jump down from my lions teeth and join the others as they congregate around Shiro. He stands with his arms crossed over his chest with a resolute expression, still wearing his helmet with the visor lowered as the Castle of Lions releases bursts of steam, settling into being on a surface. 

No sooner do we all convene does a wooden mech suit come whizzing out from the gates of the Olkari city, rolling like a massive pill bug the size of a smart car to our location. It pulls to a stop in front of our congregation, the legs springing out to support its upright position. The front opens, and Ryner’s shining, smiling face welcomes us as they enthusiastically proclaim, “You have no idea how long we’ve been waiting for this day!” They step down off of their mech suit with slow, graceful movements before they turn and regard us with a warm, olive and lavender gaze, “Thank you, Paladins.”

“We are more than happy to help.” Shiro answers with a soft smile. 

Immediately Lance sucks in breath with a finger raised in excitement, “Does that mean we can have a para-“ 

Before Lance can continue Hunk clamps a hand over his mouth with a shy smile as Ryner looks at him with a raised eyebrow, “He means to say is… yeah, you guys did great!”

As Lance shoots invisible daggers at Hunk with his eyes, our attention turns as the elevator pad from the heart of the Castle releases with a puff of air, and slowly descends to our position. As soon as it rests, the doors open and Allura strides forward in a queenly manner, dressed in her pink accented Voltron suit with her hair pinned in a braided bun at the base of her neck. Surprisingly Coran is not with her, but I figure it’s because he’s calibrating something or another as Allura approaches, her shoulders are back and her stride is confident.  _ I wonder if that stance comes naturally to her, or if she's practiced it so much that it's second nature _ . 

Ryner nods in polite greeting to Allura as she joins our circle, and based off of their expression I think they immediately know exactly what Allura’s station is. Allura bows lowly to the Olkari leader as soon as she’s close, before she rights herself with a warm, gentle expression, “I am Princess Allura, of Planet Altea. I wanted to extend my gratitude for allowing us to land.”

“It’s not a problem at all!” Ryner replies with a brilliant grin. They look at us with a genuinely soft gaze before they return their gaze back to Allura, “Any friends of the Paladins of Voltron are more than welcome here.”

“Thank you, that is incredibly gracious.” Allura replies, her eyes glimmering like stars in the evening light of the setting sun, “If you require any assistance as you return to the city, the Paladins and I are more than happy to help.”

Ryner bows in a manner similar to how Allura bowed to them, before they meet her gaze with a smile, “I should be the one thanking you. Without Voltron, I doubt that we would have been able to repel the Galra as cleanly as we did with their weaponized-” 

I find my thoughts fading out of focus as they continue speaking in what sounds a whole lot like political nonsense. I feel unsettled, a deep disquiet deep in my bones, and when I close my eyes I keep seeing a mechanical, red eye and a serpentine gold one. 

_ The Galra leader was... so strange. _ _ He was so bulky and… stony. He had a lot of cybernetic upgrades, where there were places that I didn’t know where the Galra began and the metal ended. But he was just as cold, heartless, and cruel as Sendak, down to his ruthless attitude and disregard for life. _ The wind blows through the trees surrounding the city, ruffling my hair and I feel the tear in my suit by my hip fly in the breeze. I glance down and see that my skin is completely healed, only the burnt edges of my suit as any indication of the shot I took.  _ Yet another hip injury from another Galra monster. How many must they have hurt, just this leader and Sendak alone it must be insane, but the entire Empire… Beyond comprehension. Exponential. _

My thoughts are drawn back to the present as Ryner’s speaks, “-be honored to have you as our guests of honor, if only for an evening’s celebrations in light of our victory!”

_ Evening’s celebrations? Did I just hear Ryner invite us to a motherfucking space party?  _

The flickering sunlight glistening golden along the leaves on the trees, the wind brush against the skin of my face and the fresh air filling my lungs suddenly tastes all the sweeter at the mere prospect of remaining longer.  _ Oh hell  _ **_yeah_ ** _ I wanna stay for a party. _

“Well-“ Allura begins to speak until Shiro interrupts her with a stern, parental expression, “We would love to stay, Ryner, but-“

“Oh, come on, Shiro!” I find myself speaking before I have time to think about the words, the eyes of the others turning to me as I hold out my arms with a pleading tone, “I mean, what’s the harm in staying, just for one night? We can leave first thing in the morning!”

“Yeah, I’m with Will!” Lance juts his thumb at me as he sidles to stand next to me with his arms open wide in enthusiasm, “I wanna stay too! I think we've earned some celebratory… ness. Party stuff.” He stumbles a little over his words, but his expression is stoic with his chin held out confidently, as if to compensate for his articulation skills.

“You know, I would like to hear more about Olkari engineering… and it’s not like we’ve got anywhere to be.” Pidge raises an eyebrow hopefully at Shiro.

Hunk groans with extreme enthusiasm, “Oh yes, I’d love to not have green goo for one night! Not that the green goo is bad, it’s just-“

“Alright, alright.” Shiro waves his hands at us as we begin to gang up on him, smiling a little sheepishly before he raises his hands in mock surrender. 

“… Yes, Ryner, we would be more than happy to join in your festivities, but I am afraid that we will have to get going first thing tomorrow.” Allura continues with a diplomatic tone, her gaze glimmering with amusement for a mere moment as she regards each of us and then morphs into gentle seriousness when it returns to Ryner. 

“Excellent!” Ryner declares with a brilliant, toothy smile, teeth that I realize are flat and spaced like zippers, before their expression becomes one of pleasant joy, “The city is very much in shambles at the moment, with our recent recapture, but there is plenty of space in our base back in the forest for you to stay, if you'd like-.”

Pidge groans softly from behind me, “Aww,  _ man _ , I might just rather stay in the Castle!” 

Shiro quickly talks over her complaint so that Ryner can’t hear, “Of course, thank you for your hospitality.”

“It’s no trouble.” Ryner answers amicably, and they gesture with a spindly finger to the forests beyond, “I will send word ahead to the others to expect you. I have many things to do, as you can imagine, but I'm certain that I'll see you once the festivities begin. The families have already begun preparations as the militia cleans up the last of the city.” Their eyes suddenly glisten as they peer back at their city, a hand braced flat on their thigh as they speak, “We have been preparing for this day for many decapheebs. My people are more than ready to have a reason to celebrate.”

“Of course, thank you.” Allura bows low to Ryner. Ryner matches her bow before they turn back towards their mech suit to return to the newly reclaimed city. 

I let out a sigh of relief as Shiro juts his thumb to our lions, “I’ll meet up with you back at their base, I’m gonna do a sweep.”

"Alright Shiro, see you back at the camp." Keith answers with a warm tone from where he stands at his side, and we turn and individually head back to our lions. 

As my lion kneels before me, I see the smoke rising from the city behind her. I can’t help but pause with a hand rested on one of her teeth as I stare at the soft, golden sky that burns with scarlet stretches marred with black smoke. Smoke from the remaining, if now obliterated, Galra forces.

_ I… Not gonna lie, I’m really disturbed about how ready I was... am, how ready I am to chase down that Galra vessel and rip it to shreds with my lion’s claws. Like, I  _ **_really_ ** _  want to utterly destroy them. They’re long gone by now, there’s no way I could catch up to them, but… I still wish I had struck while I had the chance, regardless of what the others said. No pieces, no salvaged parts, no wreckage... no survivors. _

I sit in my lion’s seat uneasily, setting my helmet on the floor to my left side before I press my hands to my controls, but they seem to rattle like glass on a train track. I glance down and realize it’s because my hands are the source, they’re trembling hard enough for me to visibly see. I grit my teeth and clench my fingers much harder than necessary to settle the tremors.  _ Quit. _

I engage my lion’s thrusters, and we lift off of the earth with ease, though the thrum of the power within my lion feels a lot… louder than usual. Keith leads the way in the Red Lion towards the Olkari base within the forest, and I take up the rear as the others fall in line, the Black Lion peeling away back towards the city for the sweep. I feel my breath stutter as I watch him disappear from view and immediately my heart clenches in fear.  _ It’s okay. He’ll be back. The Galra are gone. _

_ They’re lucky they were able to escape. I was so ready to kill them. I wanted to kill them, I  _ **_want_ ** _ to kill them.  _ A sudden, hard, salty lump wells in my throat and I fight to suppress it, pushing my palms flat against the controls of the White Lion, as I force myself to take deep breaths. The more I breathe, however, the more I want to just curl up under the console and hyperventilate, sob, scream, hide; every time I close my eyes I see the black blood of Haxus on the edge of my blade, the dark glee in Sendak’s lit gaze and the flash of violet lightning.  _ No. Stop. Get yourself under control. Why am I so out of control?  _

I don’t want the others to see me like this; I don’t want to be  _ seen _ , but I know I have to.  _ I have to _ . That’s the only thing that prevents the lump in my throat from ripping out of my mouth like a horrible eldritch creature from the void.  _ What kind of monster am I that I… I wanted to, no, I  _ **_want_ ** _ to…  _

Keith touches down in the clearing where we first arrived, and we all quickly land in a cluster around him. I move to rise, I want to rise, but the more I sit in the cockpit of my lion the less and less I want to leave. My lungs burn, and the cool air against the bare skin on my hip starts to hurt, not just ache,  _ hurt. _ I can’t breathe. 

_ I know why I wanted to destroy the ship, to rend it to pieces and ensure no Galra gets out of there alive. I want to kill them. I want to kill  _ **_him._ **  I can’t breathe.  _ I know exactly why I want to kill them. I want to kill them all to prevent another Sendak from getting back in to torture, maim, and murder my friends.  _ I can’t breathe.  _ How many Galra like Sendak could have been aboard that ship? Did that commander, that heartless monster who ordered his sentries to fire upon us in the palace, make it back? Was it he who called the retreat?  _ I can’t breathe.  _ What must he have done to the Olkari who were imprisoned in the city, people who didn’t make it out and were forced to build the cube, what could he have done to my friends if Pidge hadn’t come for us,  _ **_I can’t breathe-_ **

I grasp my console board and take gasping breaths faster than what’s healthy, I know it’s too fast, I know, I know, but I can’t stop it, it’s out of control,  _ I’m out of control.  _

_ I was ready to murder them. I  _ **_am_ ** _ ready to murder them. Does this make me no better than Sendak? He made me this way, that’s what he wanted all along, that was his goal, to hurt us, maim us,  _ **_change_ ** _ us. His metal claw, wrapped around me, pressing in too close, ripping agony in my side, I can’t breathe, I can’t- _

I feel something hot and wet slide down my cheeks as I stare straight ahead, grasping my lion’s controls for the life of me before I find myself falling forward. I curl on my knees in between the control rods, the top of my head making a loud  _ thunk _ against the metallic bottom of the holographic panel that rests in front of the pilot’s seat and even though the shock of pain hurts my skull my thoughts don’t stop even for a second.  _ I am a monster. I want to kill them. I want to kill them for what he did to Shiro, to Lance, to Pidge, to me. Monsters like him never deserved to live, and if I’m like Sendak… _

_ Then I don't deserve to live either.  _

I fight for air, my lungs burning and my hands feeling incredibly icy cold as they curl into fists. I feel trapped within my own skin,  _ I want to claw at it, loosen it away from me-  _ I bang my head against the side of the panel and the sharp pain arcs like lightning down my spine, and for a moment everything is quiet, just white noise. 

I grab at the White Lion’s controls, like that’s supposed to do anything for me but even the comfort of the metal against my palms does nothing for the violent turmoil in my chest as the white noise abruptly ends. My vision is swimming a little, I’m feeling light headed, afraid,  _ why am I still afraid? I'm fine. Shiro's fine. Lance is fine. Sendak is dead.  _

_ This… hatred should've died with him, this paranoia, this terror and fear, but it never can, can it? Like he infected the Castle, he's infected me. Zarkon is tracking us somehow, Ulaz said that Zarkon is tracking us, what if it's because of me? Because of this  _ **_seed_ ** _  that he planted within me, this horrible seed that fruits nothing but a desire to kill. God, I want to kill them, I want to look Sendak in the eye and strangle him while he struggles and writhes to break free but he's powerless, just as I was powerless, the tables have turned.  _ **_What have I become._ **

“Will!” I jump so hard that I smack the top of my head into the holographic panel above me, causing it to rattle as I release the controls that I was desperately grasping onto. I whirl and glance over my shoulder, and immediately my gaze is enveloped with Shiro. My vision is swimming, I realize now that it’s because I’m crying, he's swirling like the world is a top and I'm its center, my lungs burn,  _ god it burns, I can't get in breath fast enough _ . He kneels in front of me and grasps my shoulders, the rough touch pulling me a little out myself and bringing my attention to him, “Breathe.” He murmurs softly, tossing his helmet to the side so fast that it rolls across the floor as he grasps my hands, “Deep breaths, Will. Focus on me.”

I want to speak, I want to tell him to leave me alone, to look away, to pretend he doesn’t see me like this, but I can barely get in enough breath into my lungs to function, nevertheless speak. Shiro’s breath becomes louder as he emulates slow breathing, his grip on my loose fingers tightening enough for me to feel his pulse beneath my fingertips, it's beating fast,  _ he's scared, too _ .

I stare at him with wide eyes as I grasp onto his hands, even through our gloves their warmth radiates through my veins and after a moment I gather enough focus to attempt to match his slow, rhythmic breaths. Something about feeling his worry centers me, drawing me out of the cloud of thoughts so intense they strangled my throat and produced this terror. Becoming aware of your own breathing is difficult, every breath is turmoil, and it only begins to subside when my subconscious begins to reclaim its function and pick up where I left off. 

We sit in silence as I regain control my breathing, and I realize that my hands are shaking within Shiro’s grasp. I close my eyes so I don’t have to look at him, see his expression, see what he thinks about now that he’s seen me like this.  _ In. Out. In. Out. Deep. Breaths. In. Out. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. I’m Alive. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Breathe Again. _

Finally, after what feels like years, my breath is back. I can breathe. The white noise has returned, the violent thrashing faded, all I can hear is the gentle hum of the holographic panel over my head. 

“Are you okay?” Shiro asks after a long silence, his hands still grasping mine gently, like I’m made of glass. I definitely feel like I’m glass, a house of straw that could be blown away with the slightest breeze, a house that he helped me put back together. I struggle to answer. I feel my cheeks are cold, and I reluctantly pull a hand from Shiro’s soft hold to wipe my eyes. I was crying it seems, but I stopped long enough for the trail they left behind to dry; it makes it all the worse that Shiro walked in on me like this.

“I’m sorry.” I murmur softly, so soft that I can barely hear myself. I clear my throat and repeat myself, “I’m so-“

“Don’t apologize.” Shiro states firmly, yet still somehow he maintains the same gentle tone. He places a hand on my shoulder and my shaky gaze falls onto his steady eyes as he murmurs in a softer tone, “You have nothing to apologize for."

We sit there silently for what feels like forever. I feel… numb. Strangely numb, and spent, and tired. I find my gaze worming into the white, pearly floors of my lion; I know I need to say something. I need to explain myself to Shiro, I’m  _ not  _ just some loose cannon…  _ Am I?  _

_ I don't know anymore.  _

“I… I don’t know what came over me.” I finally find the words, the voice to speak, although it cracks like concrete after too many years in the sun. I clear my throat again as I feel Shiro’s gaze on my expression, but I can’t bring myself to meet them.

"You just had a panic attack." Shiro murmurs gently in response, and I feel his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand, "Take your time to breathe, it can be pretty taxing-"

I don't want to take my time. My breath comes out in a rush, “ _ I know _ , but I shouldn’t have had a… there was no reason! I was just so…  _ angry.  _ I needed them to  _ pay _ , I wanted them to…” My voice fails me. I grip my hands into fists as my eyes snap shut to block out the thoughts like blinding sunlight through blinds. I take a deep, shaky breath and once I feel I have a better handle on myself I open my eyes to meet Shiro’s. The stormy warmth permeating from his gaze fills me with some semblance of confidence as I murmur, “I…  _ He _  changed me. I don't know why I feel like this.” I murmur, my lip curling as Shiro’s gaze flickers from each eye with an intense gaze that I know he’s truly listening. 

His expression is soft, knowing, gentle.  _ He has to know exactly what I’m talking about. He was there.  _ “Do you feel the same?” I ask tentatively, shifting a little to face him better as I let out another shaky breath, “How are you… Am I really just so weak that it took so little to break me?” I venture, regarding Shiro with a searching gaze. At any point in the past I would’ve been ashamed at how raw my voice sounds, at how desperate and readable my expression is, but right now, I don’t care.  _ I don’t care at all, I need to know how he’s feeling. _

Shiro is quiet for several seconds as he watches my hands in his, as still as a cliff before the ocean. Slowly, he speaks in a low, measured tone, “You are strong, Will. Stronger than anyone else would’ve been in your position.” Slowly, his eyes rise from my hands to meet my gaze, and I see a reflection of pain behind them, in the downward turns in the corner of his lips, the crease in his brow as he murmurs, “I’ve had dreams. Dreams a lot like yours, I think.” His thumb rubs soothing circles on the back of my hand, and I find myself relaxing as his voice echoes in my cabin, not because of the volume, but because of how intently I focus on the words that spill from him, “Sendak… What he did to us can never be erased.”

I find myself nodding a little, watching his hands grasping around mine, like they’re a precious treasure to be cradled as he continues with a more confident, powerful push, “But Will, if I’ve learned anything about… this chaos we’re involved in now, it’s that we have to be strong, and not just any kind of strong.” I flicker my gaze to his face, meeting his eyes that glimmer with intensity, “We have to show the Galra, the universe, that no matter how much they throw at us, Zarkon, Sendak, all of them, that we will get up, dust ourselves off, and fight them until the bitter end if necessary.”

His words resonate within me like a gong in an empty hall, shaking my bones and causing my very blood to quiver as Shiro’s hands move and grasp my shoulders tightly, “It’s not always gonna be easy, but you can do it. I know you can, because you’ve proven time and time again that you have that same strength.” He meets my gaze with a glimmer of fire that seems to radiate and spark one within my soul as he growls in a low tone, with the ferocity of a tiger, “I remember the Will that looks out for the others, people who were strangers to him from the moment he met them before he looked out for himself; the Will that stood in the wreckage of that Galra ship back on Arus, the Will so empathetic and compassionate that he mourned for the lives of our new enemies.” Slowly, Shiro leans forward and touches his forehead to mine in such a profoundly familial, tender gesture I feel a semblance of a sob in the back of my throat, I close my eyes, I feel his voice rather than hear it, “The Galra can take many things… but they can never take away who you are, and that's someone I'm proud to call a teammate and a friend.”

The chamber is quiet as I sit with Shiro, with his forehead pressed to mine gently before finally I find the strength within myself to wrap my arms around his shoulders and draw him in for a tight hug, clawing at the back of his suit with a desperate tug as I bury my face into his shoulder. Something… settles within me. Like when a dust storm blasts through Texas and the entirety of the city is covered in sand, I feel Shiro’s words envelop and settle. Shiro hugs me back tightly, his hands running up and down my back in soothing gestures.

I manage to find my voice, “… Thanks, Shiro.”

He doesn’t answer, instead rubbing my back comfortingly. We sit like this for what could’ve been minutes, hours, years, it’s comfortable and quiet, and it feels like not even Zarkon could touch us here. But I know it can’t last.

_ We’ve got shit to do. _

Slowly, I release Shiro and hang my head, running a hand through my hair as I take a soft breath and meet Shiro’s paternal gaze, “I thought you were out on a sweep of the planet?”

“I was.” Shiro answers, cocking his head off to the side as he leans back against his arms, and despite sitting on the floor it's such a casual pose that I never would've thought it was out of the ordinary, “When I came back, Keith was walking back from the village. He told me that he was worried about you because he thought you were following but realized you weren’t when they got to the village, and you weren’t answering any calls over the com.”

I feel a deep blush rising in my cheeks, and I fight to keep my voice level, “… Keith came back to look for me?”

“Yeah, Keith.” Shiro replies with a slight note of hesitation, raising an eyebrow at me with his head tilted to the side in a casual manner, “So, if you don't mind me asking, have things still not worked out between you two?”

_ “Jesus Christ, Shiro.”  _ I huff indignantly, and I bury my face into my hands with an embarrassed sigh, “We just had a bonding moment!” 

Shiro merely gives me a wide grin, an eyebrow raised in a look of  _ right, sure.  _ I huff and throw my hands in the air, “It’s worked out! Or, not worked out… er…” I growl deep in the back of my throat in frustration, “Nothing’s going on between Keith and me!”

“Tell that to your face.” Shiro teases lightly, and I look up to shoot him a glare, which he only responds with a toothy grin, “I know the  _ Look _ .”

“Quit reading on my gay levels.” I grumble with my arms crossed, to which Shiro immediately breaks out in a hearty laugh with his head thrown back in wild amusement. It's a contagious sort of laugh, and my embarrassment and exhaustion for the moment is sated as I join in. 

Once we regain composure, I release the tension in my shoulders with a loud sigh, “It’s… Am I really being that obvious? Like,  _ obvious-to-a-straight-person _  obvious?”

“Not quite yet.” Shiro answers once he’s recovered from his laughing fit, yet his cheeks are rosy and his smile is wide as he raises an eyebrow at me, “But, I thought you two talked it out?”

Immediately, my heart falls a little in my chest. I was relieved to move on in our conversation before, but now I’m pit-falling again, and it sucks. “Yeah, we did.” I answer after a brief pause, feeling my gaze slide to the ground, “We’re… kind of… He’s… He doesn’t feel about me the same way I feel about him.” I answer after a long pause, and I find my fingers worrying the straps of my boots, “Which, honestly, is completely fine. Definitely for the best in the long run. So I’m trying to act normal around him… It’s… it’s not really working, as you can see, but I’ll get there eventually. Kind of a relief, actually. I was so worried that I’d shut him down before, but it actually just turned out to be an overdramatic spurt on my part. You know?”

Shiro regards me with an inquisitive gaze, sitting up a little as his conversational tone turns more serious, “Will-” 

Shiro cuts himself off when broken static echoes in my cabin. We turn as soft voices coming from our helmets resting on the ground, temple to temple, crackle and snap. I definitely can hear a voice going  _ ‘you there?’ _

Shiro leans over and grabs his helmet, pulling it onto his head and answering the com as I slowly stand up from where I was basically cramped under the holographic panel in front of my seat and stretch, “Yeah, we’re here. Yeah, Will’s fine, he…” Shiro pauses and glances over at me as he too rises, and I meet his gaze as he continues after the brief pause, “… He fell asleep in the cockpit. We’ll be down to the village in a tick.”

I let out a breath of relief that I didn’t realize that I was holding as I rub my arms a little awkwardly, “Thanks, Shiro. Not just for that, but… Talking to me. It’s…” The words come out clumsy and awkward, and even with Shiro’s understanding gaze I find my tone morphing into frustration as I struggle to articulate, “What happened to us was… shitty. To say the least. But… I’m really glad that I’m not alone.”

Shiro’s eyes soften like clay as the corners of his mouth turn upwards, “Don’t worry, you’re not.”

“And neither are you.” I answer, my words flowing more naturally as I reach out and fondly bump his arm with a closed hand. Shiro’s smile broadens with a flash of teeth as we turn together down the stairwell to exit my lion, and I faintly hear him murmur under his breath, "... Yeah, I know."

We meet up with the others back at the Olkari camp, our walk is silent yet comfortably so. I can hear Hunk and Pidge’s voice over the com intermittently to give Shiro directions to our home for the night, which apparently lies on the outskirts of the town, perhaps to prevent us from getting in the way of the party preparations. Or at least that's what I think, based on the amount of Olkari I can see running about even from this distance along the metal pathways between the massive trees a bit of a ways away. I realize then that I left my helmet in my lion, which I figure isn’t a tragedy, but it does make me a little nervous.  _ I sure hope nothing happens that I need my helmet and I don’t have it.  _

We enter the grove of smaller, Earth-sized trees with the dog-sized purple and pink flowers, the armory Ryner had called it. The setting sun ignites the greener foliage on fire with hundreds of hues of gold, like the halls of a monarch with the tall green grasses waving in the crystal clear breeze like banners flying the royal colors. It invigorates my step with each breath.  _ Yeah,  _ I think to myself as I run my fingertips through the tall grasses as we pass through,  _ I think I’m in love with this place. _

Through the trees I can see a thicker tree, about as thick as a classroom, that tapers above like a bubble was blown into the tree trunk. There’s a doorway-sized hole in the side that’s covered with a green, soft-looking blanket, and even from here I can hear the shouts coming from inside as Shiro and I approach.

“There’s  _ no way  _ that I’m sharing another bunk with Hunk! Hey, that rhymed- no, but listen, dude, he  _ snores,  _ there’s a reason I wear headphones to sleep!”

“Well, I don’t wanna room with you,  _ Mr. Sleep Mask _ , because you  _ also  _ snore.” Pidge’s voice cuts an octave above Lance’s, who immediately gasps in horror at the accusation. Shiro chuckles softly to himself as he raises his prosthetic hand and lifts the covering over the doorway, walking inside. I follow just after, hiding in his shadow.

The inside of the Olkari-built house is incredibly homey and warm, with a log-cabin-like aesthetic to it that reminds me of my old house back in Virginia. There’s a fire pit in the very center with small flames that casts the room in shades of orange and crimson, with a circle of plush cushions around it and flat platters about knee height with the dark green metal aesthetic that all Olkari-made metal has. Circling the room starting on my left is a winding set of stairs, leading upward and into the tree, which has a hole in the very top where the fire’s smoke rises, the stairwell circles around the smoke trail along the trunk of the tree. I see similar doorways with blankets covering the doorways along the way up, shrouded by the shadow of the stairs from the fire below. Around the central chamber beneath the steps are seams like in the Castle of Lions, indicating storage units, most likely filled with a variety of supplies.

Lance and Pidge are standing on the stairwell above Shiro and I, wielding pillows like bayards as they wave them threateningly at one another, but their argument stalls when they see Shiro and I walk in. From behind them, I can hear Hunk within his room calling, “You’re both missing out! I’m a delightful bunkmate! But don't worry, I think there's only one bed per room.”

“Yo, Will, where have you been, man?” Lance cries accusingly as soon as he lays eyes on me, pointing his pillow at me like a king with a scepter.

I find a lump in my throat as I struggle to answer for a moment, “I fell asleep in the storage room while I was grabbing some… stuff. You know, napping. Sorry I forgot to warn y’all.” I clear my throat, changing the subject as fast as I’m able as I spin in a circle, examining the abode, “Wow, this place is  _ incredible! _  Did the Olkari build this?”

“I know, right?!” Pidge cries excitedly, and I can hear her footsteps thudding down the stairwell as she joins Shiro and I, her gaze turned a dark maroon in the firelight, “It’s incredible! The Olkari who took us here, Lune-ai, he was  _ super  _ boring but he was talking about all the nano-”

“Come on, Pidge, no need to put Will to sleep, _  again _ !” Lance jokes as he descends downwards as well, grinning cockily at me in such a manner that I know he's definitely going to be bringing that up for a solid week at least. He juts a thumb towards the entrance with a raised eyebrow, “Since you’re here, can we head out to the party, now? I’m ready to get some well-deserved celebration!” He stretches his arms over his head with a relaxed sigh, his smile charming and lazy as he raises an eyebrow at Shiro, his expression saying  _ ‘you know you want to’  _ while his eyes said  _ ‘please?!’ _

“Good idea.” Shiro answers as he glances around with a raised eyebrow, “Where’s Keith? We should head over together.”

“I think he went there already.” Pidge answers thoughtfully, tapping on her chin, “That’s where he said he was going, at least.”

 “And who knows if  _ that’s  _ true.” Lance huffs with his arms crossed, dramatically rolling his eyes, “For all we know, he’s just like… off brooding somewhere, or something.”

From above, loud footsteps come rumbling down as Hunk descends, entering the conversation as his boots make loud thumping noises against the natural, wooden steps, “Well, maybe he’s brooding  _ at  _ the party!”

Pidge raises an eyebrow at this, “I dunno, is Keith much of a party person?” She suddenly snickers, clapping a hand over her mouth before she chides, “How funny would that be if he was, right?”

Shiro chuckles a little while shaking his head, crossing his arms over his chest in a comfortable manner, “Come on team, let’s head over and meet up with him.” 

As a unit, we exit the tree… tree house?  _ I suppose it is technically a tree house, even if it is on the ground, because it’s built in a tree, literally. It’s a bit different than what you’d call a tree house back on Earth… _

“So wait, Shiro, while on the subject of Keith, you’ve mentioned before that you’ve known him a long time.” Pidge suddenly pipes up, gaining my interest so immediately that it’s a little embarrassing, frankly. I feel my head lift from the grasses below my feet but I immediately try to play it off like I’m looking up at the treetops, or something, anything that makes it look like I’m not  _ intensely listening with bated breath to learn more about Keith. _

“Yeah, quite a bit. And I’ll just answer it now: no, he hasn’t always had that… hairstyle.” Shiro breaks into a grin at himself, his eyes glimmering in the light of the sun like clouds off a frozen river. 

Lance immediately breaks out into laughter, covering his mouth with a snort,  _ “I knew it!” _

“Okay, but like, has he always been so… you know…” Hunk begins in a delicate manner, tapping his fingers together in an almost shy manner as Pidge finishes the sentence for him, “… O-B? Emo?  _ Melancholy? _ ”

Hunk glances over at Pidge and huffs out of his nose with a slight frown, “I wasn’t gonna say it like  _ that. _ ”

Shiro merely shakes his head at them with his eyes closed, very much like how a teacher would shake his head with disbelief when students spout utter bullshit in class like it’s gospel. After a moment, he lets his arms fall to his sides as he speaks in a measured tone, as if he were being charged per word he spoke, “It's just how he is, I suppose.”

Lance isn’t having any of it, merely tilting his head to the side as Shiro guides us through the small grove of trees next to the proper province of the Olkari camp, “Yeah, but why? What excuse does he have that he’s so… you know,  _ broody-beards  _ all the time?”

I can’t help but snort at this,  _ “Broody-beards?”  _ I answer derisively, cocking an eyebrow at Lance. 

He merely pouts in response, throwing his hands in the air, “You know what I mean!”

Shiro turns off of the path and towards the main province of the camp, not dignifying a response save to chuckle under his breath. As we grow closer we fall silent as this... feeling resonates off the treetops and engulfs us. It’s like music, I think, some sort of alien form of music that doesn’t so much sound rather than pulse deep in your bones through the soles of your feet, it’s like songs that have with a heavy bass but without the actual treble to go with it. 

“Whoa, what’s that?” Lance gasps as we approach, looking around at each of us with wide eyes, “You guys hear that?” 

“More like feel it!” Hunk exclaims, his face beginning to broaden into a smile, “I think it’s a subatomic vibration current, but it’s got, like, a beat to it! How cool is that?” 

I shrug a little with a huff, “Eh, I kinda find it underwhelming. What’s the point of music without some treble?”

Lance blinks at me rather stupidly, “What kind of music has trouble?” 

It takes everything in my power not to launch into a lecture that requires a slideshow to explain how the fuck is music.  _ I sometimes forget that not everyone is a music nerd like me.  _

Accompanying this strange music, a music that's more like a non-verbal pulse, is the rising din of deep moaning sounds that rise and fall at regular intervals, like whale song: the Olkari tongue, a loud undertone in the quiet, natural din of the forest. We round about a massive, chestnut tree and stride up the natural ramp around the trunk, and as we come to a stop at the platform a few stories up,we collectively marvel at the redecorated campsite.

When we arrived several hours ago to free the Olkari, the campsite was already impressive. But now, with such little time to prepare, I have to say that it’s even more grand than I was expecting. New structures rise between trees, dark veridian, metal pavilions hung from the branches of trees like swings for giants, shielded above with a soft, butter-colored cloth. New bridges, wound with little, soft yellow lights in their handrails, connect the platforms together to the buildings that were already incorporated into the trees’ structures when we arrived. To top it all of it looks like damn near every Olkari their mothers have collected on these hanging pavilions, on the grasses below, and in the very branches of the massive trees. In collective, they’re no longer in the comfortable, full body wrappings of varying earth tones that they wore before, but brilliantly colored robes of gold, scarlet, cerulean, and damn near every color imaginable; it makes it look like pockets of Olkari move like mist through a rainbow across the platforms.  One Olkari is wearing a hat that appears to be made entirely of pink petals, like the flowers within the grove near our home for the evening, which is pretty fucking cool; I’m not one for hats, but damn, if that ain’t aesthetic. I figure they’re probably excited to be having a celebration, who knows when was the last time they had something to celebrate, so it’s perfectly natural they’d go all out. Soft yellow lights, like christmas lights, are strung all along the pavilions that provide a really cool atmosphere - and useful, as the sun has begun its official descent beneath the horizon - the sunshine casts the forest in a deep crimson as it projects its final rays. I can see lights wrapped around the branches of the trees that bend in arches overhanging over the several pavilions that sit on the earth, illuminating the campsite with a very New York City-like aesthetic.

All in all, it’s fucking  _ gorgeous  _ and  _ impressive. _

Hunk lets out a low whistle as we collectively drink in the scene just as Shiro turns to us with a serious expression, “Alright team, listen up.” He begins with a tone much like when he’s about to deliver us a battle plan, “Tonight, it’s really important that you stay on your best behavior. Don’t get crazy, follow along with what the Olkari around you are doing, and remember that you’re representing Voltron. We want them to join us in our fight against Zarkon, so we-“

“Yeah, we know, blah blah blah,  _ ‘don’t have fun, represent the gang’ _ ,” Lance cuts in with an enthusiastic grin beside me, raising his arms in a victory stance, “Loosen up, Shiro! It’s a party! We kicked some ass today, we deserve a little pampering.” He loops his arms over my shoulders and Hunk’s, who stands on the other side of him, and pulls us closer with a wide smirk as if to send the point home. Hunk and I glance at each other from over Lance’s smirking face and share a look of  _ wow, we really are friends with this dork, huh? _

Shiro merely shakes his head with a soft sigh, gesturing with his chin to the nearby bridge that leads to the closest pavilion, “Just… don’t embarrass us.”

Pidge snickers from beside me as Lance releases Hunk and I, “What, Lance? Embarrass us? Impossible.” She waggles her eyebrows at him with a wicked grin. 

He punches her arm in a playful manner, “Hey, I can be… not embarrassing!  _ You _ don’t embarrass us!”

Together we step foot onto the closest metal bridge that leads to the closest pavilion, hanging lowest in the air from the trunk of the tree we ascend and approach the Olkari party. As we draw closer, I see now that the pavilions are populated with several platters that hover in the air, filled with all kinds of strange, brightly colored foods, or at least I think they’re foods, and cocktail-like glasses that are made of the same dark green as everything Olkari made, but unfortunately I can’t see the contents within. There are viridian tables covered in lit decorations and little sculptures of what looks like the lions and of Voltron, made of wood, bark, the dark green metal of the pavilion, and something soft in texture and olive in color. All in all,  _ fucking cool and extra as fuck. I think I’ll see if I can’t sneak one of these figures away after the party, I’d love that to decorate my room…  _

As we approach, a few nearby Olkari spot us and immediately cry out in their deep resonating whale-like voices in what I think is greeting, raising some cocktail shaped glasses in our direction in a general symbol of  _ hooray!  _ The Olkari collected on the platform turn to see what the fuss is about and immediately do the same thing, cheering loudly in a manner that seems to match the pulsing atmosphere that continues to resonate through the trees. It isn’t really music, it has no sound, but I can feel the rhythm the same as any song with a good bass, creating the atmosphere of a lively party with good music without the actual, deafening sound that accompanies it.  _ You know, maybe I can get behind this kind of music after all; I like a sound that isn’t overwhelming but still provides that head bobbing, hip swinging aura. _

Nearby platforms at various levels above us begin to gleam with the bifocal gaze of the Olkari as they peer down, and before long the entire forest is echoing with the force of their glee. As we step onto the platform the Olkari part like the receding tide to allow us on, the flickering lights that decorate the handrails that encompass the platform flickering behind them as the shadows begin to elongate. I awkwardly smile and wave when I make eye contact with several Olkari, and with slight relief they immediately mimic me and wave back with brilliant grins.

Suddenly with a soft popping like the calibration from a speaker, a familiar voice cries over the din loudly enough that they could probably be heard for miles around, “Welcome, Paladins of Voltron!” We turn to find the source of the sound, and to my right I notice the movement of viridian up towards the boughs. I move to the railing, grasping the cool, forest green metal and peer upwards to see a small platform, enough to fit two or three people maximum, rising in the air.

Standing on it is Ryner, no longer in the light olive robe and wooden helm we met them wearing, but a soft lilac robe that’s fringed in dark green ribbons that seems to flow with an unseen breeze as they ascend to be in view of all Olkari who gathered in this space. Beside them stands Allura, radiating like a star in a baby blue gown with a soft, pink accents along the hem and the sleeves. Her hair falls in silver cascades down her back with braids curled over them like netting matched with a smile that seems to light up the growing night of the forest, she’s cast in the golden light of the setting sun like an angel. 

_ Damn, she’s gorgeous. _

With their arms outstretched, Ryner’s voice projects loudly through the air and silences the Olkari as they speak, “Tonight, we celebrate the liberation of our planet from our Galra oppressors!” Immediate roars of approval, the likes of which I’ve never heard before but I expect it’s what a stadium would sound like if the audience was composed of whales, seem to cause the air around us to thrum with tangible excitement, but they immediately die down respectfully as Ryner continues, “However, without the Paladins of Voltron, we may have never had the strength and the courage necessary to drive the Galra from our lands.”

Ryner steps aside as they nonverbally turn it over to Princess Allura, who smiles politely before she speaks with the same volume and projection as them, filling the forest with her bell-like voice, “On behalf of the Paladins of Voltron, I would like to thank you for your hospitality.” She sets her brow as she turns and examines each platform, seeming to make direct eye contact with each Olkari she sees, “Voltron alone could never have driven the Galra from your planet; it took the spirit of the Olkari, your willpower, your ferver, and your passion to fight back.” Allura’s voice rises with her enthusiasm. She clenches a hand into a fist and raises it over her head, a symbol of power, “I hope that together, the Olkari will fight beside us once more as we free more planets from their oppression, and take the fight to the Empire itself! Will you stand with us?!”

The cries of victory and affirmation are deafening, so loud that I almost have to cover my ears from the sheer power. I feel a stirring in my chest, a burning feeling of warmth like liquor in my veins as a smile spreads across Allura’s face that I feel in my heart. In this moment, I feel strength like I never have before.  _ That’s the sign of a good speech. It sure as hell makes it feel like we truly won a battle today.  _

Ryner smiles brilliantly at Allura before they pick up where she left off, speaking directly to the Olkari, “The battles to come will be difficult, but I firmly believe that with Voltron on our side, we  _ will  _ defeat the Galra and restore peace and balance to the universe! … But these coming hardships will come with the rising star.” Ryner gestures to the sky as the final rays of the sun paint the sky with deep pinks and violets before they speak again, “Tonight, we celebrate the beginning of an era, an era of triumph and unity that will last for generations to come. We celebrate that the battle today will be passed down in history as the day that we turned the tide! Tonight, we celebrate for we are  _ victorious! _ ” 

Deafening, resounding cheers echo in the forest as the small platform moves from the center of the air to slowly join with a platform high above us where Ryner and Allura disembark to join the party. The cheers die down to a general, loud and merry chatter as the Olkari turn to one another with such enthusiasm it’s contagious, and I find myself grinning like a fool.  _ That’s a hell of a way to kick off a party, I gotta say. Not even the homecoming afterparty back in April can compare to this. _

“That was a wicked good speech.” I say with an excited grin, turning to the others that collected beside me to watch Allura and Ryner.

“Dude, I’m  _ so ready  _ to try out Olkari food!” Hunk cries in enthusiasm, his eyes widening as a platter full of his heart’s desire hovers nearby and into a crowd of brightly dressed Olkari. With his tongue stuck out and his hands rubbing together with excitement, he melts into the crowd and disappears.  _ He certainly has very straight forward priorities. _

“Well, there goes Hunk.” Pidge snickers from my left, her arms crossed over her chest a bit uncomfortably. She looks a bit like she wants to run and hide, maybe re-calibrate an android or two on the way.

“I’m gonna head upstairs, to uh…” Lance begins with a shy grin, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, “You know, tell Allura how good her speech was, and check out all the cool pavilions and… stuff.”

“Right, of course.” I roll my eyes at Lance, but he merely shoots me a lilted smirk as he turns and picks his way through the crowded space onwards and upwards to a nearby bridge that connects to another platform that rises to the next.

Pidge juts her thumb in his direction, “I’m gonna go cockblock him. But also, I’d love to talk to Ryner some more, do you think she’ll show me how they got this set-up so fast? I mean, it’s  _ amazing! _ ” I shrug at her but gesture towards the ramp in a  _ be free my child _ gesture. Without another word, Pidge turns and bolts after Lance before he gets too far out of sight. I turn, and realize that I’m left alone with Shiro.

I glance over at him with a raised eyebrow, twiddling with my fingers awkwardly, “So… What do we do?”

Shiro shrugs, and with a graceful move he sweeps a viridian glass off of a nearby platter and holds it aloft, sniffing it experimentally before he shoots me a smile, “Mingle! Get to know our new allies. I’m sure they’ll wanna talk to you.” As if to prove his point, he turns to the nearest Olkari behind him and greets them with indistinct words. Immediately, the Olkari grins with enthusiasm and warbles in their strange tongue. I snicker softly to myself and slip into the crowd, leaving Shiro in the awkward situation he placed himself in.  _ Yeah, mingle with an alien race that can’t speak our language. Have fun with that! _

I push my way past mingling Olkari, many of which excitedly greet me in their whale-like tongue and pat me on the back as I pass. It’s a little uncomfortable, but I smile and wave nonetheless as I make my way to the bridge between platforms that Lance and Pidge had taken. It’s less populated, as it’s rather narrow, only wide enough for about four people to walk past at once, so I have a moment to breathe and come up with a plan. I glance around at the hundreds of platforms that litter the space, spiraling up into the treetops and above, and I let out a heavy sigh. 

_ There is a whole fucking lot of social interaction ahead of me, and I’m not really feeling up to it. I’m kind of emotionally tired. But... I might as well get it over with. I don’t want to be rude to one of the most valuable allies we’ll have in this war, what with their abilities to warp metal and plant material. Besides, might be fun, who knows what kind of stuff they’ll have going on. I’ll work my way upward and greet people as I pass then move on, which should be easy because I’m pretty sure most of the Olkari don’t have a transladazine so they won’t understand me anyway. It will be cool to see how far up the platforms go, at least, and maybe there’ll be less people and I’ll have some room to breathe. Also, you know, a good view, and stuff. Yeah, that sounds good, game plan down, let’s go greet our new allies. _

With a steeled breath, I cross the bridge and dive into the crowd.

My theory was correct that the Olkari, at least the ones I came across, don’t have a transladazine, which honestly makes the social situation a whole lot better for me. They recognize that they can’t really speak to me, and I to them, so they just make vague gestures of greeting and glee at my presence, a few hugging me with their hands braced on my shoulder-blades like they’re almost afraid to touch me, while others hold my hand and tap the back of it with spindly fingers, which I assume must be the Olkari version of a handshake. I go along with it, smiling, waving, saying things like “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Will, I’m the White Paladin, no problem with helping save your planet, those Galra be bitches, anyway, gotta go, nice to meet you!” 

I lose count of how many Olkari I see, the amount of vibrant robes that wash over me with each platform glimmer blindingly like I’m at a gay nightclub until it’s just a rainbow sea. I make my way upwards, hoping I’ll spot a Paladin suit on my way but I know it’ll be like finding a needle in a haystack, what with all the bright colors and the sheer number of Olkari.  _ Wonder what the others got themselves into _ . I make my way upwards for what feels like hours, but with each platform I go up to there are less and less Olkari, not an insignificant number, but it does make the platforms more breathable. It makes sense, as most of the party seems to be on the platforms below, most densely congregated at the roots of the tree so I find more peace and quiet the higher up I go, but even then the term is relative.

On one of the higher platforms, nestled among the branches of a mahogany tree, I hear a familiar, jingling, animated voice, a voice that’s speaking  _ English,  _ and I spot a wild patch of silvery hair over the smoothed, earth tone heads of the Olkari. I push through the crowd towards Coran, who’s speaking animatedly with a few Olkari about something to do with... quaknubs? I like Coran well enough, even though I haven’t really gotten the chance to really talk to him, but desperate to actually listen to a language I understand, I join the conversation.

“Hey Coran.” I greet with a practiced grin, standing beside him and waving at the three gathered Olkari in the area in an amicable fashion. They smile brightly at me, waving their drinks at me in greeting with whale-like moans of enthusiasm. 

“Number five! It’s good to see you!” Coran greets me warmly. He turns to the Olkari as he wraps an arm around my shoulders, pointing to me with a hand that’s curled around one of the viridian glasses, “This, my friends, is Will, the White Paladin! He’s quite a fellow, let me tell you, fights like a fierce galhavie, and he’s almost as smart as I am!” 

The Olkari warble, which I gather is how they laugh, which prompts Coran laughs along with them, his head thrown back and his mustache twitching with the force. I curl my nose as I’m suddenly rather overwhelmed with a smell, kind of like whiskey with a fruity tang, and I glance downward to see that the reason why is because when Coran pointed at me with his drink hand, the contents sloshed onto me.  _ I smell like a pub.  _

_ Wait, whiskey? Are these drinks really straight up whiskey? _  I glance at Coran and notice the copious sweat on his brow, the grease that lines his hair, and I find myself growing more and more uncomfortable by the second.  _ He was sweating a lot in the Castle too. It’s gotta be an Altean thing, or something… but now I’m fairly certain that these drinks are definitely spiked with some sort of Olkari version of alcohol. I’ve never seen Coran act this way. He must be off his ass. _

“Well, you know me, just trying to do my part.” I laugh a little awkwardly, wiping Coran’s sweat discretely from the back of my neck as I pull out from beneath his arm that was slung around my shoulders, “I see you’re having a good time.”

“The best!” Coran grins at me wildly, sweat dripping from his brow as he leans forward, awfully close, and I think he tries to whisper into my ear but it’s just normal talking level, “Be careful with the friend-juice, it has some adverse properties that I don’t think your little synapses can handle!”

“Oh really?” I answer in an almost teasing manner, glancing down at the drink in Coran’s hand as I’m almost overwhelmed with the urge to just  _ chug it.  _ I love doing the opposite of what people tell me to do, but I resist the urge at the last second when I see sweat from Coran’s neck drip into the cup.  _ Hmm… it is tempting to find another glass and get crunk though. I haven’t gotten wasted since… a while ago now, couldn’t hurt to let loose a little… right? _

“Yes, it’s quite alarming at first, but I have a strong system that can handle it incredibly aptly!” He speaks animatedly, waving his arms with a triumphant raise of his glass which causes the contents to spill and drip down his gloves and onto the sleeves of his uniform. The three Olkari in the cluster immediately respond with the same gesture, making noises of approval and glee.

I bite my lip and return my gaze to Coran, “Why is it called  _ ‘friend-juice’ _ ?”

“Friend-juice? Oh, that must be how the transladazine translates it.” Coran taps his throat thoughtfully, raising an eyebrow, “I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to mean ‘a drink to share with allies’, or something like that, but I’m not entirely sure.” Coran looks down at the glass and then glances at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and I’m immediately filled with apprehension, “Although, I have to admit I’m rather curious to how your little synapses  _ would _ handle it such a drink, call it the scientist within me. Why don't you have a little? Purely for science.“ He holds out his drink to me. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m  _ so  _ tempted, but that temptation fills me with even more apprehension. Me and alcohol have a very  _ very  _ bad relationship, I got really into the whole  _ partying and drinking  _ scene after Damien left and it got me into loads of trouble. Not with the law or anything, but more along the lines of…  _ emotional  _ trouble. I feel the awkward smile forcing its way across my features as the smell of whiskey crowds into every inch of skin on my face, the more it envelops me the more I want to take it.  _ No, don’t. You saw Coran’s sweat drip into it, that’ll be gross. There we go, excellent excuse.  _

Somehow, that’s more convincing than  _ hey, maybe don’t because you know you have a bad habit. _ "No thanks, Coran, it's probably for the be-"

I feel a hand grab onto my arm from behind me, and I cut off mid-sentence to turn with a slightly tired smile,  _ oh boy, another Olkari come to say hello,  _ but it immediately drops as my eyes widen when I’m met with a familiar, violet gaze.

“Keith?” I ask incredulously, but before I can say anything more Keith glances past me at Coran and offers him a wide smirk, “Hey Coran, mind if I steal Will for a minute?”

“Of course, go mingle! Make friends! Enjoy your lives! And most importantly, drink friend-juice with these new friends while also enjoying your lives!” Coran laughs in such an out of character fashion that I try not to laugh in response at the sheer hilarity, but before I can Keith’s hand on my arm tugs me backward and I stumble a little as I turn to follow him. 

_ Well, this certainly just got a whole lot more interesting. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---  
> Yeah y'all, holy fuck I did not mean for this chapter to have so much back and forth between deep, humor, anxiety, and just... emotional rollercoaster-ness.  
> I realized as I wrote stuff that how I initially wrote Will wouldn't be in character, like I initially was just gonna have Will head straight with the others to the treehouse and then to the party before I realized no way, he would definitely have an existential crisis about his identity and how he's got a new, personal vendetta against the Galra now and well.... ye.  
> Stay tuned, sluts  
> \---


	22. A Night of Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of things can happen when alcohol is involved, even more so when it's ALIEN alcohol.  
> And the consequences of decisions made when it does.  
> ***  
> Warning: A Dash of NSFW in mid/beginning  
> **

Keith leads me off of this platform and up a crowded ramp full of enthusiastic Olkari. They wave and make generally cheerful noises at us as we pass, and it’s an absolute struggle to stay focused on keeping up with Keith’s quick weave through the people and what’s worse, I’m getting  _ incredibly _ distracted.  _ Keith’s holding my arm. Jesus Christ, he’s literally holding my arm, he’s touching me on purpose. Jesus Christ, I am a disaster gay.  _

The foliage is eye level now, the closest leaves a soft orange fading into deep blacks as the only source of light in the newly turned night are the yellow Christmas-like lights that decorate the platforms, they reflect off of the leaves and cast the night in deep hues of clay and spice.  _ Why does Keith have to walk so damn fast? _ As we continue to rise, the population of Olkari dwindles in a stark manner, platform by platform, but Keith does not stop, continuing to guide me on like he’s on a mission with a time limit. I raise an eyebrow and speak levely as the thumping music-less bass grows less and less powerful, more like a gentle tremor in the background, "Where are we going?"

"Up." He answers helpfully, sparing a smirking glance over his shoulder that makes my heart nearly fail on the goddamn spot.  _ Jesus. Christ. That’s fucking cruel.  _

As we approach the top of the foliage of the trees, each platform begins to grow smaller and smaller across and with less Olkari. What’s better is that they seem to be content leaning at the railings and regarding the party below to the point they don’t notice us snaking upwards behind them. 

Finally we come upon a smaller ramp, one that’s far narrower than the past few, only able to fit about two people across if they press together. The ramp breaks the tree line as it ascends upwards, the final destination hidden behind a branching bough of a tree that’s as big around as a speed bump. Keith releases me at the base of the ramp and ascends upwards. This platform I’m standing on has one trio of incredibly drunken Olkari, or at least they seem to be, based on them leaning on each other and their warbly, whale-like words hiccup occasionally. This just continues to confirm my suspicions that the drinks really  _ are _ alcoholic.  _ Interesting.  _ I glance back and see Keith halfway up the ramp, looking down at me with an expectant eyebrow raise but he isn’t calling me to follow him, he’s just… waiting. I step onto the ramp, and once I’m following behind him Keith turns and continues on up the ramp.

At the very top is a very small platform, at least compared to the rest, and surprisingly without a yellow blanket covering overtop like the others. It’s completely barren of anything, no decorations, no drinks, no hovering plates, there’s only the railings along the sides wound in christmas lights. This platform stands alone just above the tree line, giving us a view of the entire forest and the city’s outline far in the distance, with nothing but the lights encompassing the railing and the twinkling stars above to illuminate the night. It kind of reminds me of a crow’s nest on those old ships when we used to travel by ocean rather than by air. 

It's dark, as night has fully descended onto the planet, to the point that I can't see much in the ways of the trees surrounding us, but due to the lights wound around the railing everything close to us is fully illuminated, casting amber shadows across Keith’s features and illuminating our armor with a soft, honey colored glow.

Now that I’m at the top, the reverberating sound of the faux music practically gone and the distant warble of Olkari voices far below, I’m hit with just how  _ tired  _ I am.  _ I didn’t realize it until just now but I’m pretty wore out. That was a lot more socializing than I thought it was gonna be.  _

Keith pauses as we stop on this final platform and turns towards me with a lazy smirk, leaning his elbows against the railing in such a manner that I can barely restore the little amount of cognitive function. I retrace my thought processes before I let out a breath of relief, “Thanks for the save back there.”

Keith shrugs, the soft yellow light reflects against his nearly onyxian gaze in the night and illuminates the pearly white and scarlet armor from where he rests his elbows comfortably behind him, “You looked like you were about to bolt. Total deer in headlights.” He jokes with a lazy smirk, waving a hand in front of his face as if to case in point. 

He seems so... relaxed. I didn't figure him to be the type to enjoy parties, I figure he would’ve gone into hiding or snuck off.  _ Perhaps he tried some of that 'friend juice' and it made him loosen up a little? Or perhaps he's just as relieved as I am to be out of the bustle. Or maybe he really does just enjoy parties. _

I huff in indignation, crossing my arms over my chest, “Hey, you would be too if Coran was drunkenly explaining to you the translation from Olkari to Altean to English about what the fuck is ‘friend juice’, and then pressuring you to  _ try  _ it.’”

“That’s what they call that stuff?” Keith raises an eyebrow at me before he chuckles, tilting his head to the side like he’s listening to something. Despite my better  _ fucking  _ judgement I get distracted by the pale skin beneath his jawline that peeks out of his black suit beneath the Voltron armor, incredibly visible in the position he's in and illuminated by the lights of the railing behind him.  _ For fucks sake, Will, can you not be gay for  _ **_five fucking seconds_ ** _?! _

“That’s what he said." I choke out before I clear my throat and force my gaze away from him so I can resemble a straight person, "Don’t get me wrong, I was tempted to try it, I’m 90% sure it’s whiskey, but he’s sweating really hard and it dripped in the glass and it was  _ gross _ , you could not even pay me to drink it after that.” 

I move to rest my forearms against the railing beside Keith, facing outward towards the treetops so I can look at something besides  _ him,  _ yet it’s also in a manner that's still conversational and socially acceptable.  _ Okay, so, apparently, it’s getting exceedingly harder than I thought to get over this crush I have, if this is how I’m gonna act around him even after rejection. What’s that old Disney phrase that was totally overused? ‘Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know’? Do better, Lancaster. Focus on the now.  _

The night air is brisk, and without my armor I think I would be cold, I can feel it against the exposed skin on my hip, but even despite the ample covering I can feel the chill of the cold metal of the railing soaking into the cloth of my armor under my forearms. 

“It tastes like whiskey, for sure.” Keith twists around to mirror my position, leaning on his elbows and facing the forest as well and following my gaze. I internally curse that my plan is foiled.  _ Wait a minute, did he say taste? _

“You drank it?” I ask incredulously, turning to gaze at him with a fresh, scrutinizing gaze. He looks like he’s completely relaxed, his hands leaning over the railing and lazily entwined together, his shoulders are low and at ease. His head’s tilted to the side again, and now I’m getting an even clearer view of that  _ fucking kissable  _ space under his jaw. I have to pull my gaze away to prevent the blush that I can already feel rising in my cheeks from spreading.  _ That explains how he looks so relaxed, but he doesn’t look nearly as drunk as Coran was. He hardly even looks drunk, at the very most he’s tipsy, I never would’ve known had he not said anything. Or maybe he’s just a high functioning drunk? I guess I’m about to learn. _

“Yeah, it’s  _ hella _ strong.” Keith answers, almost to confirm my suspicions. I risk a glance out of the corner of my eye at him and see that he’s staring at his gloves, now with his head tilted towards me rather than the other side.  _ Okay, better, this angle is far less distracting.  _

I can’t help but chuckle, “I can guess, since you just used the word ‘hella’ in a real life sentence.”

Keith’s laugh is soft and genuine, and I feel my heart practically skip a beat at the sound. I clamp down on it mentally and stomp the feeling into the dirt,  _ back, back you fucking gay thoughts, back to your box-  _ “Yeah, I guess so.” He murmurs, like he’s deep in thought. 

We stand in a few comfortable moments of silence, and I find myself examining the stars above to see if I can’t recognize any constellations. Back on Earth, I could only really identify Orion, Lyra, Scorpio, and the Dippers, but beyond that I’ve got nothing. I trace stars together to see if I can’t make out any shapes, but I can’t get Keith’s laugh out of my head. 

So, I venture for some small talk, “It’s really beautiful out here, tonight.”

“You sure are.”

I nearly have a fucking stroke on the spot, and I definitely choke on my tongue a little as I look over at Keith with wide eyes. He’s looking directly at me with that same, lackadaisical, relaxed expression, his wrists crossed where he leans on his elbows against the railing like he didn’t just absolutely destroy my mental processes.  _ Jesus Christ, he must be far drunker than I thought.  _

For his sake, I try to ignore it,  _ maybe he just misspoke? _ I clear my throat and turn my gaze back out to the sky, despite how badly I want to look at Keith. I find myself speaking with a soft voice, going back on a conversational tangent, “Do you think they have a moon? I don’t remember seeing one when we arrived. Maybe it’s a new moon, like back on Earth, because I don’t see it right now, or maybe they just don’t have one? Or maybe it’s on the other side, or something…?” I realize pretty quickly I’m rambling.  _ How the fuck can my thoughts be so completely scrambled from three fucking words? _ I frantically try to pull my shit together to form something coherent and definitely not pulling on that train of thought.  _ He’s just drunk. I probably just misheard him. I sometimes say words that I didn’t mean to all the time, or sometimes they come out wrong, I mean- _

“I don’t know. Maybe.” I feel Keith’s gaze finally turn away from me and I have to resist the urge to breathe a sigh of relief. In all honesty it’s not that he’s making me uncomfortable, it’s actually quite the opposite, but I know that the last thing I need is to be reading too much into Keith’s drunken behavior if I’m trying to get over this fucking crush.  _ Because that’s all it is. He doesn’t reciprocate, and I shouldn’t expect him to. _

_ So, small talk isn’t working. Let’s try something more professional. _  I lick my lips as I find my mouth is unexplainably dry before I find the will to speak, “So, now we have the Olkari to join our fight against Zarkon. We just gotta… you know, keep up the good work, liberating more planets, and before long, I think we may just have the power to take him on.”

“Definitely.” Keith answers confidently, bobbing his head in a nod. I feel his gaze flicker back over to me as his voice drops to a huskier octave that sends shivers up my spine, “Speaking of liberating the Olkari, I’ve been meaning to ask… how’s your hip?”

I blink, and my first thought is immediately  _ wait, what _  before the memory returns. The day’s just been so hectic, I can't even believe that I forgot about the fact that I had gotten shot for the first time in my whole life. I remember the feeling of time seeming to slow, seeing the violet shots go off and knowing instantly, innately, to dive and tackle Keith to the ground. I’d accidentally taken the shot instead, I had to act fast, it wasn't my intention.  _ I’m such a moron, I totally forgot to use my goddamn bayard. But hey, in the long run it had basically no effect besides rip another one of my suits, thanks to the White Lion. _ My hand flickers down and I worm a finger into the hole in my suit in my side, the crisp edges scraping the skin of my hand under the gloves as I recollect the white hot pain, the burning sensation, the immediate swirling that eventually faded when the adrenaline kicked in.

I realize now that I’ve been silent for too long to be normal, so I merely shrug and lean my arms back on the railing, now ignoring how aware I am of the night breeze cooling the exposed skin, “It’s much better. The White Lion stone fixed me up pretty good.”

“How does it do that?” Keith’s words melt together like chocolate, and I keep my eyes fixed on my gloves even as I feel his gaze boring into me.  _ Look down, look down, don't look him in the eye. I’ve noticed that Keith really likes eye contact for some reason and that’s just so goddamn hard for me, especially because his eyes are so fucking pretty.   _

“I’m still not quite sure. My lion showed me that like… she also has a stone, it’s in her chest, and it’s connected to my stone. It’s like… there’s this line, a connection that allows her energy to flow into me, so when I get hurt the stone healing me is really just her sharing her energy with me, or something. I’m pretty sure that’s also how she’s able to transfer damage to me in fights, too.” I explain, moving my hands to emphasize on my words, “But beyond that explanation, I haven’t the faintest clue. She's annoying that way, only revealing some stuff but not others."  

"I hear you on that." Keith answers with a soft noise in his throat of understanding. 

I purse my lips, jolting as I let out a quick breath, “And Pidge has one now, too! I wonder if hers will do the same thing. I totally forgot about it, I want to investigate it when we get back to the Castle tomorrow. I wonder how they differ, and why she’s only getting hers now… and what the fuck they’re  _ for. _ ” 

Keith doesn’t answer, but I can see in my peripheral that he’s looking in my direction. I risk a glance over and see that he's examining the hole in my suit with a studious gaze. I feel suddenly rather vulnerable, just having a bare bit of my hip exposed and under scrutiny feels like I’m standing on top of a chair in the middle of a crowded auditorium. 

I release a breath to bury the feeling, instead raising an amused eyebrow at him, "See anything interesting?"

Keith doesn't respond for a moment and for a brief beat I wonder if I somehow crossed some sort of line before he finally speaks again, slow and tentative like he's tasting the words, "Why did you take that shot for me?" 

I can't help but scoff, “I know, I’m an idiot and forgot to use my bayard-”

“No, I mean…” Keith pauses and furrows his eyebrows like he’s trying to solve a difficult math problem, “Why was your first instinct to block it?”

I glance over at him with a mere eyebrow raise and a lackadaisical shrug, “What do you mean,  _ why?  _ Of course I took the shot for you, it's what a good teammate does-” 

"That's bullshit and you know it." He cuts in a quick, matter of fact tone as he straightens from his place beside me, turning to look at me fully instead of at the tree line.  _ That’s the second time he’s told me that my innate instinct to protect him is bullshit. Oh God, I hope this doesn’t turn into that conversation again, it didn’t exactly go well last time. _

I frown and glance over at him, but his expression offers no sort of information, it’s as stony and placid as it always is. I straighten, disengaging from the railing with my hands rested against the metal to face him in return, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That's not just what a teammate does.” Keith’s voice is deep and annoyed, husky and dark, “Lance wouldn't have done it, Pidge wouldn't have done it, and as much as I think Hunk would've liked to, I don't think he would've done it either, not on purpose." Keith answers with a deep scowl and immediately he leans into my personal space in an antagonistic manner, like he's goading me to fight him as he has one hand planted on the railing beside me. I cross my arms and face him fully, I never turn down confrontation, but now at this distance I can now definitely inhale his scent, salt and burning wood now mixed with the whiskey / ‘friend juice’, and for a tense moment all is quiet as all I can manage is stare down his antagonistic gaze. 

I taste my words before I speak them, mostly checking internally to see  _ is this something I should really be asking right now _ before my curiosity wins over, “Why does that bother you so much?” My voice is soft, just above a whisper as I closely examine Keith’s shrouded gaze for some sort of hint as what’s going on in his head but as per usual he offers nothing. 

After listening to the gentle tremor of voices far below for a while Keith lets out a huff through his nose and speaks, his voice morphing from that hostile tone into something melancholy and tense, “You just shouldn't have taken that shot.”  _ Well, that doesn’t answer me at all. _

I watch Keith for a solid, tense minute, not quite sure what to say to press him on the subject. His gaze falls from mine, instead fixing below, between us, and I jolt in surprise when his hand brushes the ripped portion of the suit.  _ I’m gonna have a goddamn system failure. _

_ Okay, he’s drunk, now isn’t the time to be questioning him about his guilt-ridden fixation, so let’s just answer his questions. Strictly heterosexual now, Will, you can do it.  _

"Don't be ridiculous, I would take it again if I could." I respond swiftly. Keith's gaze snaps up to mine so quickly that I find my voice hitching, but before he can argue I forge on with a firm tone, "Besides, if it doesn't really affect me in the long run. You know, with the whole  _ connection-with-my-lion _  thing, so don’t beat yourself up over it. Regarding the others… We're still new to this whole 'team' thing." I shrug; in any other situation, if this conversation was with Hunk, Pidge, Lance, I would’ve placed a hand on their shoulder but this isn’t any other situation. This is Keith, and I’m fucking  _ gay  _ for Keith, I don’t trust myself to not catch worse feelings by touching him, even platonically. _  Besides, he doesn’t like physical contact all that much, despite right now he seems totally fine with prodding me but I don’t want to breach his boundaries, especially while he’s apparently drunk.  _ "We'll bond, we'll grow closer, and I know they'll eventually do the same. Maybe not today, but they will." 

"You sound so confident I almost believe you." Keith smirks in response, tilting his head to the side as he regards me in an amicable way and he  _ finally  _ takes his hand off my side, completely retracting from the antagonistic stance he took a moment earlier.  _ Okay, I can think again.  _ I let my gaze drift off to the side, that fucking  _ smirk  _ is impossible to deal with purely heterosexually so I just gotta avoid it. This friend juice, whiskey stuff is wack, but a small, selfish party of me is grateful for it’s presence because it’s allowing me to see Keith’s smirks and laughter more often than I thought was possible.  _ Well, maybe not that small of a part of me; I won’t deny it, I’m literally shaking at how excited I am to see him smirk and laugh like this, acting so… relaxed and comfortable. Maybe he’s actually feeling okay about what’s gone on with us for the past few days. That’s probably the greatest feeling in the world, I didn’t hurt him as bad as I expected. _

"That's the second time you've gotten hurt because of me." Keith's husky voice is so soft that in any normal situation I wouldn't have heard him, I think, but because it's  _ Keith _ of course I'm hyper-aware of every word he speaks.  _ He must feel really guilty if he keeps bringing it up. Why? _

"Yeah, and? I know you'd do the same for me." I respond firmly as I return from my thoughts to meet his gaze.  _ Focus your inner Shiro, ‘yay teamwork’. _ Keith’s gaze wanders downward, and I know he’s looking at the hole in my suit, “Or at least, I hope you would, otherwise that would be pretty lame.” I grin with a lackadaisical shrug to try and lighten his dark spirits but Keith’s brow merely furrows, his gaze never leaving my side. 

I pull on the burnt edges, revealing the skin a little more to see if that will satisfy his fixation, “See, look. I'm fin _ HGN-! _ " I jolt and nearly fall over when Keith abruptly pokes his finger into the hole in my suit. I end up a few feet away, half leaning on the railing as I face him with wide eyes, shocked and appalled, and he meets my gaze with equally wide eyes like my reaction surprised him.

“… Are you ticklish?” Keith asks innocently, but as soon as the words leave his mouth his lips draw into a playful smirk, knowing that his suspicion doesn’t need to be confirmed. I swear to God, my knees are  _ weak. _ _ Fuck  _ I'm gay for that  _ fucking smirk.  _

I narrow my eyes at him suspiciously and point at him threateningly, “Oh  _ hell  _ no, you better not be thinking what I think you’re thinking!” I hold up my fists like I’d punch him if he tried, but that doesn’t seem to deter him. A wicked grin stretches across his features as he takes a step closer, his hands outstretched and I immediately take a step back, “Fuck, no, don’t you do it,  _ stay back, slut! _ ” I add teasingly, taking another step back as he approaches, before he strikes. 

His hands immediately fly to my sides, tickling with rough, grabbing fingers and I immediately laugh on reflex, rolling out of his grasp and pushing his shoulders away from me, successfully repelling the attack, “No, fucking  _ stop that,  _ you dickhead, don’t you d- _ nHhA! _ ” I shriek as he follows after me, poking and tickling and prodding and I desperately try to escape, but I’ve run out of room on the platform. My back hits the railing and Keith grins in victory as he descends like a hawk on his prey, pinning me against the hard metal and tickling me mercilessly.

I can’t help shrieking in laughter as I kick out at him, pushing his shoulders with all my strength with only a minor, secondary thought of  _ hey, maybe don’t actually injure him _ . But damn, I am about  _ two seconds away  _ from using deadly force. I lose breath as the laughing torture continues, squirming to try and escape but the bar keeps me effectively pinned, my sides and stomach ache as I’m racked with laughter, only able to wheeze out desperate words for mercy. Keith’s laughter is wild and giddy, and eventually he seems satisfied with the attack and the tickling finally ends. 

I let out an immediate sigh of relief, wiping the tears that had started to well in the corners of my eyes with my gloved hands as I recover my breath with such a wide, genuine smile that my cheeks hurt. Those laughs were the kind that rack your body and give you abs; I don't remember the last time I've laughed that hard, and from  _ Keith  _ of all people. He must be pretty drunk to be acting like a fucking ten year old.  _ Worth it to hear him laughing like that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so goddamn giddy.  _

Then, and only then, do I realize just how close Keith is to me.

My breath hitches and I press my back against the railing as the realization hits me, but I have nowhere to go. Keith’s arms are on either side of me, and as I grasp the railing behind me I feel his fingertips brush against my wrist as he grasps the railing as well. He’s right there, his face is just mere inches from mine, his expression one of extreme calm and relaxation, a lazy smile still stretched across his face like this doesn’t bother him in the slightest. His eyes are nearly black in the darkness, reflecting the soft yellow light of the string lights around the platform, and my entire system just stops working.

Seconds pass, minutes, hours, and I let out a rush of breath I didn’t realize I was holding.  _ No. No. This isn’t right. He said he didn’t like me. What the fuck. This is  _ **_definitely_ ** _ gay. Well, he seems to be completely unbothered with personal space at the moment so maybe he just doesn’t notice? _

It takes extreme effort, but I’m finally able to pull my eyes from his as I turn my head to the side, pulling back as far as the bar will allow me to, “Erm, sorry, this is awkward, I, uh…”

I lose my words, but before I can gather any more I feel warm lips press to my jaw. Startled, I turn and face Keith and open my mouth to say  _ excuse me, what the fuck  _ but before I can even make a sound his lips immediately migrate and press against mine. It’s not gentle, it’s not chaste, it’s fiery and passionate and as he licks my lips and I taste the cinnamon and the whiskey. I'm so caught off guard I can feel myself floundering, my shoulders tensing up and my back starts to ache at how hard I’m backed up against the metal railing. I think he senses my hesitation and utter confusion, as he immediately begins to pull away, but as soon as he does my body screams against it, all I can feel in my chest is  _ oh hell no you don’t. _

I wrap my arms around his neck to tug him closer and return his kiss. Keith lets out a soft breath that sounds almost like one of relief, it cascades across my skin, setting my veins on fire, and I feel his hands wander to my sides and grasp my waist, pulling me against him as his hair brushes my jaw. I feel completely subjected but  _ goddamn  _ there is no place I’d rather be. He presses closer, locking his lips onto mine and without warning his teeth bite on my lower lip. A soft moan escapes from my lips, unwillingly from deep in my throat; it’s so soft I can barely hear it, but I feel Keith’s breath hitch against my lips, and I wonder for just a beat if I should be embarrassed until he presses closer, his hands wandering to the railing behind me as he kisses me, and I kiss him, and  _ God  _ it feels amazing. 

He makes a sound, something between a growl and a rumble deep in his chest, and his lips migrate from mine and instead fix themselves to my jawline, trailing down to my throat. I can finally breathe again, but I’m finding it’s even more difficult now than before. I rest my hands on his forearms, gasping for breath like I was drowning as he fixes his lips against my pulse and  _ sucks.  _

I feel my soul ascend this realm to another dimension entirely, but before I go too far I’m hit with the scent, the overwhelming smell and taste of whiskey on my tongue that it crowds into my thoughts and for a moment I’m suddenly in a dark room, a linen closet, it’s another person with harsher bites and the memory yanks me out of the moment so hard that I gasp. Only then do I realize the magnitude of what the  _ fuck  _ is happening. Keith’s lips wander to my jaw, to my neck, sucking and nipping and kissing wherever they trace and despite how fucking great it feels every muscle in my body freezes up. 

_He’s drunk. He has no idea what he’s doing. He isn’t in control. No, I can’t let him do this. I have to stop this before it’s too late, it may already be too late. Fuck_ ** _damnit,_** _Will,_ _not_ ** _again._**

“Keith-“ I voice and immediately my breath hitches as his hands grasp onto the belt of my armor and tugs me closer against him, his lips pressed firmly against the sensitive space just above my pulse. It feels so good, good enough that my eyes flutter shut but despite how  _ badly  _ I want to grasp his shoulders and bring him closer, I harden my resolve and swallow down my wants. I wedge my hands between us, pushing on his shoulders with a sterner tone, “Keith,  _ stop. _ ”

I'm shocked at how immediately his lips stall, and his hands release me like I just hit an off switch. I stare at him with a startled gaze and he matches my expression, his eyes are wide in surprise and worry. He pulled away only a small distance, but it feels like  _ miles  _ apart when just a second ago he was pressed firmly against me. 

I can’t deny that I immediately miss it, I  _ crave  _ it… but not like this. Not when he doesn’t know what he’s doing, when he doesn’t know any better. His lips are kiss-red, slightly apart as he regards me with wide eyes, his gaze is surprisingly gentle and a part of me is relieved that he stopped as soon as I asked him to, and a little shocked that he did. After Damien, saying no and actually being listened to is… such a strange concept.

Just the mere thought of  _ him _  makes me feel cold, so much so that Keith’s perpetual, if soft and yielding, hands on my waist feel alien. A lump forms in my chest, rough and course against my lungs like sandpaper. Keith regards me with a concerned gaze, one that makes the horrible stone forming in my stomach so heavy as he murmurs, soft enough that I don’t think I would’ve heard if he wasn’t just a few inches from me, “... Are you okay?”

_ Fucking hell. _

“Keith..” I speak gently, not in a reprimanding tone but tender, as if to a child, “You’re drunk. You’re not in your right mind.”

Keith’s expression falls a little, and his eyebrows set as his nose briefly touches mine in such an intimate gesture I have to close my eyes to keep myself steeled against giving in and kissing him, “I feel more right than ever.”

_ Fucking. Hell. _

“ _ Christ _ , Keith, how fucking drunk are you?" I retort, a little more sharply than I mean to, and slowly, agonizingly, I rest my fingertips on his shoulders and keep them there. It’s a reminder, mostly for myself, of the situation we’re in.

Keith frowns slightly but he allows me to do this, he doesn't move backward, but thankfully no closer. He plants his hands on either side of me against the railing, but it’s not so much a pinning movement than for him to keep his balance as he murmurs, "Do you seriously think I would only do this if I was drunk?"

_ I swear, I’m gonna have a stroke.  _

I pointedly ignore his question, instead fixing him with a reprimanding expression, “Keith, you’re gonna regret this in the morning.” I state firmly, setting my jaw as I finally muster the courage to meet his gaze, pressing a little harder against his shoulders to emphasize on my words and to create a faux amount of distance between us, “And being drunk, doing shit like this… I know it can feel like it's a good idea, but you won't feel the same way tomorrow. I don’t want you to regret-" 

"You don't know how I feel." Keith responds in such a Keith-like, argumentative manner that I'm almost tempted to believe that perhaps the drink isn't what’s talking.  _ That's probably what he wants me to think. If I know anything about alcohol plus boys, it's that they will say just about anything if it leads to an orgasm. _

Before I can even say anything further Keith’s hardened gaze morphs, his eyes dropping from mine to my lips and after a moment he looks back into my eyes and lets out a huff of frustration, “Will, what are you so  _ afraid  _ of?” 

I balk, my breath stalling as his gaze bores straight into me like he’s truly waiting for an answer. I push the question aside and pray that somewhere deep down, Keith realizes what exactly is at stake as I swallow the lump in my throat and let out an equally frustrated sigh, "Fucking hell, Keith… Don’t you know drinking and experimenting is never a good combination?"

Keith raises an eyebrow at me in what appears to be a genuinely confused expression, "... What do you mean?" 

"Experimenting." I grumble in response, fixing him with a harder look, "You know, trying stuff out, ideas, feelings… people?” He’s blinking at me,  _ he still doesn’t get it. _

The words flow before I can stop them, some deep pain burning out of my mouth like a broken flashlight, “Listen, I know it's selfish of me to say this,but Keith, I'm not just someone who… I’ll be  _ damned _ if I allow another straight guy to… to…” I find my voice stammering as emotion strangles me, but I spit out the words before I lose the nerve, “I don't want to be something for you to try on for the night and throw away tomorrow.” 

Keith blinks at me with wide eyes, his head tilted to the side like a confused puppy, and it’s painful,  _ it’s painful  _ to meet his gaze. My voice is raw, embarrassingly so, to the point that I can't look Keith in the eyes, "... Especially not from you. I think… I think that would break me." 

It’s a selfish part of me that utters those words, a part that hurts to voice it at all. I wish I hadn’t, I didn’t want to expose how I felt, but trying to convince  _ him  _ not to do something for  _ his  _ sake wasn’t working… I had to improvise.  _ That’s what I’ll tell myself. _

I know exactly how this will end for me. As much as I would love it, to keep kissing him, to feel him against me, wanting me like this, I know it won’t last. As soon as he sobers up, I know he’ll do one of three things: 1. He’ll pretend it never happened or say he doesn’t remember, that he was  _just too drunk;_ 2\. He’ll break down and have an existential crisis over his sexuality, or even worse, 3., tell me that it was a mistake and that he regrets it, maybe even hate me for _leading him astray_. He probably won’t be like one of those guys that accuse me of _seducing_ them into conflicting sexualities but nonetheless there’s no way he would like me for leading him down a path he doesn’t want to go down. All three of these will be equally painful, for him and for me. _It's selfish of me, but it's not just about me; I won't let Keith hurt himself, through me or otherwise, not when I have an active role to stop it._ _It is mostly just about me, though, isn’t it? I don’t want to be used, and especially not by Keith, who I can barely look at without getting strangled with how much I feel about him._

Keith regards me with a clouded gaze, and at my words he pulls away from me further, giving me more room to breathe but his hands continue to grasp onto the railing on either side of me. Better, but still so close,  _ so goddamn close _  that I can still taste the cinnamon and hard whiskey of his lips, I feel a sharp ache in my chest at his withdrawal.  _ Disgust, maybe? Oh God, he must be absolutely revolted to have been messing with… What’s the best word I can use for this… Leftovers. _

His eyebrows furrow as his lips curl downwards at the corners in a concerned frown, and his voice is raw and almost saddened as he mutters, “… You've been the… people have  _ experimented _  on you before? More than  _ one person  _ has  _ experimented  _ on you like that?”

His tone doesn’t sound like he feels betrayed, like I was expecting. He sounds genuinely distressed about  _ me  _ being experimented on, and it fills me with a pulse of warmth that radiates throughout my being. But another part of me, the cynical piece, is murmuring that what he's really asking is ‘ _ is that really what you think I’m doing? Experimenting with you?’  _

I haven’t the faintest clue why he felt the need to point out, ‘more than one person’. Maybe he thought I was a virgin, maybe what he’s really asking is _ ‘wow, you’ve been sleeping around?’  _ But why was his tone so… like that? It doesn’t sound condescending, it sounds concerned. 

_ He’s drunk, I shouldn’t be reading into his actions like this.  _

I pull my gaze to the side, intensely focused on the string lights around the railing as I speak, “It’s not your fault, you’re just drunk. But… this  _ will  _ hurt you in the morning. I’m sorry I didn’t stop you sooner, I’m sorry I let this shit happen  _ again _ -” My voice cracks as I feel emotion well in my throat, and I close my eyes quickly when I feel the burn within,  _ don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.  _ “Consider this my future apology for the morning.”

When I can finally open my eyes again I’m met with Keith’s gaze. His expression is open and utterly perplexed, like I just tried to explain quantum physics to him, and his eyes are like peering up at the night sky through a telescope. I slowly touch his wrists, as his hands are still planted on either side of me, and gently move them to hang at his sides. He lets me, not saying a word as I swallow down the lump in my throat, and meet his gaze, “Come on, let’s get you back so you can get some rest. Okay?”

Keith doesn’t answer, his gaze sliding to the treetops behind me listlessly. I let out a sigh, one that I can’t quite decide is sad or tired, as I grasp his wrist and pull him back towards the ramp that leads back down without waiting for an answer. He follows willingly, offering no resistance but his arm is limp, like at any minute his bones will turn to rubber and he’ll collapse. 

_ He seemed able to walk just fine before, but maybe this stuff, this friend-juice, it could get worse over time? Like, it tastes like whiskey and smells like whiskey, but we’re on an alien planet thousands of light years away from Earth, the odds are low that it’s like the whiskey back home. Who knows what its properties really are. That’d explain how he seemed to act more and more… I don’t know, relaxed?... as we spent more time on the roof.  _ Slowly, I lead him back down to the heart of the party to find our way back to our home for the night with a really, really heavy stone in my chest.

We weave through the growing number of Olkari, who are still speaking just as animatedly as before when Keith rescued me from the awkward social scene I placed myself in. Many cheer when they spot us, raising glasses and enthusiastic smiles as we pass, and I give them a wave and a friendly grin but press on past them, walking with a purpose. I guide Keith through platform to platform, descending down. I glance back occasionally to ensure he’s still with me despite the grip I have on his wrist; his gaze isn’t exactly listless, but it’s unfocused, like he’s deep in thought, and he follows without a word or even a look in my direction.

On the third or fourth platform from the bottom, well below the branches of the trees, I practically sing with joy as I spot a familiar paladin suit, Pidge’s small form based the green highlights on her suit standing out against the bright colors of the Olkari robes. Beside her appears to be Lance leaning heavily against her as they make their way across a bridge leading down. I pull Keith along in their direction, wading through a group of Olkari as I call, “Pidge!”

Pidge turns towards the sound of my voice, and lets out a sigh of relief as Lance moans beside her. He’s positively green, his eyes are listless and his mouth is agape as he leans almost entirely on Pidge's smaller form. She sighs once we're close enough, flickering her gaze to Lance with a gesture of her head, “Somebody has a bit to much  _ friend juice. _ ”

“He’s not the only one.” I joke, slapping on a grin as I jut a thumb at Keith behind me. I release his wrist as he seems to stand well on his own, and he smiles sheepishly at Pidge while giving an awkward little wave, which is  _ endearing, wow, he's definitely drunk. _

“Yeah, I  _ know. _ ” Pidge shoots Keith a pointed look, who merely smirks lazily back as she huffs, “Lance challenged him to a drink-off, and guess who lost?” She frowns down at Lance, who mumbles incoherently but with a clear, distinct, and condescending  _ mullet  _ as she rolls her eyes back at me, “And then he left me to take care of him! Betrayed, by my own teammate.” She mockingly holds a hand over her heart, but Keith doesn’t even look like he’s listening in the slightest, his gaze is locked on me and it makes my heart stutter out of time.  _ Fucking hell.  _

I keep my gaze firmly on Pidge, “Let’s take them back home, yeah?”

“I’m fucking trying!” She proclaims with a groan, “I’ve been trying to get this asshole home for the last hour!” Pidge’s gaze flickers to Keith behind me before she glances back to me and then raises an eyebrow in a questioning manner. I give her a slight shake of my head and mouth  _ ‘tell you later’ _ , which seems to satisfy her enough to turn away towards the bridge leading down with Lance at her side. He mumbles incoherently, and Pidge merely makes “mhmm”s and “ahuh”s in response. Curious, I glance over at Keith with a raised eyebrow, “You can still walk, right?”

Keith shrugs but doesn’t answer, his gaze listing off to the side. He definitely looks out of it, which makes me all the more worried and anxious to get him to bed… but he can walk, at least. I turn and follow Pidge across the bridge to the next platform, waving for Keith to follow rather than leading him by the wrist.

Pidge got some distance ahead of me, but with Lance in tow I’m not worried about her leaving us behind. When we arrive at the next platform, I idly glance behind me to ensure Keith’s still following and my entire body seizes when I can’t spot him anywhere.

“Keith?!” I call, turning in a circle with a worried spike in my voice, but luckily he hadn’t gotten far. I spot his red and white armor through the crowd, surrounded by Olkari, and when I get to him I see he’s holding a viridian, metal glass, now empty as he wipes his mouth.

I swear, loudly, “Fucking  _ hell _ , Keith,  _ no _ , why the fuck did you do that? Give me that.” I snatch the glass from him, and Keith giggles,  _ fucking giggles _ , in response as I place the glass on a passing platter.  _ Jesus fucking Christ, this boy is literally going to be the fucking death of me. _

“Come on, we don’t wanna let Pidge and Lance get too far, right?” Keith grins at me with an almost knowing look. He takes several steps forward under my scrutinizing gaze but as soon as he gets to the bridge he begins veering to the side, like he’s on a tightrope. Immediately I leap forward and grab his arm to steady him,  _ “Christ,  _ Keith, are you good?” 

He  _ fucking giggles again  _ as he lurches, leaning on me as he drapes his arm across my shoulders. I realize then that no, he is no longer good.

Sighing with slight annoyance, I loop his arm more securely around my shoulders, and immediately he leans more heavily against me like he just got permission to stop standing. I stagger a little, wrapping an arm around his waist and hoisting him up to his feet with a push on my shoulder as his head presses against the crook of my neck, his wild, black hair tickles the skin of my throat.

I huff in annoyance, “I swear, you did that on purpose, didn’t you? Motherfucker. When you wake up tomorrow, I'm gonna kick your ass, at least until your hangover gets you first.” I threaten as I lead him through the crowd of Olkari, who wave and make noises of greeting but all I can manage is a slight wave in return as we pass by. 

_ Wow, Shiro was right, we really need to work on not embarrassing ourselves. _

_ But, to be fair, there was alcohol. I’m just glad I wasn’t the one who went overboard, which is honestly shocking… but whatever I would’ve done, knowing me… now  _ **_that_ ** _ would’ve been true humiliation. _

I spot Pidge and Lance on the bridge ahead, Lance is leaning over the edge and seeming to be dry heaving while Pidge pats him on the back with extreme annoyance. I jut my chin at them as I hold Keith’s arm over my shoulder with one hand and my other arm wrapped around his waist, “See, that could be you, now, because you’re a fucking idiot.”

“Nah, I can hold my-“ Keith cuts off as he suddenly grasps his chest. I stop as he seems to breathe a little more heavily and immediately I narrow my eyes at him, “I swear to God, _ if you throw up on me- _ “

“... I’m good.” He huffs after a few moment’s silence.

I let out a huff, mostly annoyed but slightly relieved, "You better be!" 

Although I feel that my words should have genuine venom to them, I can't muster it. I feel like a toothless viper, hissing and spitting but all in all bluffing. We make our way to rejoin Pidge and Lance, Keith dragging his feet along the smooth, viridian surface.  _ He sure got a hell of a lot drunker over the span of a minute.  _

“M’Kay, Lance, you done?” Pidge pats Lance on the back as he leans against his forearm on the railing of the bridge; he only moans dramatically in response. Pidge shakes her head and pulls on his arm, looping her arm around his waist and hoisting him upright before glancing over at me, “Yikes, Keith, dude, you look like shit. You didn't keep drinking after your stupid contest, did you?”

“He just took another fucking drink when my back was turned.” I answer with an annoyed lilt, and as I speak I feel Keith’s face turn towards me, nosing at my pulse and I can feel his lips against my skin pull back into a lazy, self righteous grin. 

My voice cracks, as I was  _ not  _ ready for that, and I clear my throat with a cough to mask my embarrassment as I meet Pidge’s gaze, “Wait a minute, so how long ago was this drinking game of theirs? _ " _

Pidge rolls her eyes with a sigh, "Fuck if I know. I just remember Lance was all like, 'Yo Keith, you're lame at parties, I bet I could drink more than you' and Keith was all like, 'No way Lance, I’m better than you at everything, I can drink you under the table!' and here we are." Pidge mimic's Keith and Lance's voices as a caricature, yet an accurate one as she adjusts her grip on Lance. Keith chuckles, his breath ghosting the skin on my neck and I swear to  _ fucking God  _ he's definitely doing this on purpose. 

_ Oh, I'm gonna kick his ass up and down the fucking star system tomorrow. My shoulder’s already sore. _

I curl my nose and gesture up ahead with my chin, "Let’s get these fuckers home before they do something stupid. Again.”

Pidge raises an eyebrow as her gaze flickers from Keith to me, and I shoot her a sharp look of  _ don’t fucking ask _  before she merely nods, “Yeah, good plan!”

We make our way down very slowly, stopping occasionally for Lance to dry heave over the edge, but it grows less and less frequent as Lance fervently cries, “ _ Hell _  no, I can hold my liquor better than Keith any day!” 

He tries his best, I’ll give him that, as he tries to walk on his own for several paces down the bridge before he promptly falls on his face. Pidge and I are laughing  _ hard _ as he attempts to sober himself up, but on the other hand, Keith is acting even more and more drunk as we descend. His free hand keeps touching my hand that’s wrapped around his side, like he’s checking if it’s still there, and fucking  _ pressing his face  _ into the crook of my neck, it’s driving me into a gay  _ panic.  _

If I didn’t have good judgement tonight, if I had one of those drinks, I know for a  _ fact  _ that I would’ve gotten down on my knees and sucked the fucking  _ soul  _ out of him for how he’s acting, if not… done more. But luckily, I always have good judgement. Usually. Sometimes. I could’ve done better earlier, but right now, I think I’m using  _ excellent  _ judgement, and I’m proud of myself.  _ I'm under a lot of stress, and all things considered? I'm being a Distinguished Gay right now, I deserve a medal.  _

Finally, it takes what feels like hours to get to the original tree that leads down to ground level, the pulsing thump of the soundless bass now nothing more than a dull tremor. My shoulder is aching from supporting Keith’s stumbling, stupid self all this way, the treehouse can’t get closer soon enough. Pidge and I guide Lance and Keith, respectively, through the peaceful calm of the forest, picking our way delicately through the grasses back towards our home for the evening. Personally, I’m grateful that Ryner secured us a house that wasn’t the Castle because I can’t imagine hauling Keith and Lance in the state that they’re in all the way there and into their rooms. It would take all night, I bet they would sober up by the time we got there.

Pidge ducks with Lance draped over her shoulder under the yellow blanket that covers the doorway and pauses in front of the stairs, “Okay, Lance, buddy, take it easy, one step at a time, alright?” She steps up and guides Lance up the stairs, I wait at the base for them to get a reasonable distance up with Keith leaning against me, rather heavily. Once they’re halfway up I turn to Keith, “Alright, come on now, up the stairs.” 

I take the first step and Keith perfectly mimics me, turning his face towards me again and resting against the crook of my shoulder.  _ Focus, Will, focus. He’s probably doing this on purpose as some sort of punishment for telling him off earlier, and, I mean, I deserve it, but what the  _ **_fuck_ ** _ , Keith. _

"You're being really touchy feely, you know." I grumble under my breath, "Did you take that drink on purpose so I'd have to carry you?" 

I feel Keith's lips draw back into a smirk against my neck, I try not to lose my footing as he chuckles so softly it's merely a breath against my skin, "Maybe." He pulls his head away rather suddenly, his head lolling to the side like he's a bobblehead and I immediately stop and grab onto him tighter, "Whoa, easy now." I coo gently, holding onto him in a white-knuckled grip. 

"Sorry… Does… Do you want me to stop?" Keith asks suddenly, sweetly, gently, like he's asking a teacher's permission to go to his locker, which is insane considering I figured him to be the kind of dude that would just get up and leave for that sort of thing. I don't even have time to acknowledge, think about,  _ analyze _ that Keith is asking me, again, for my  _ consent. _ Like before, on the terrace. 

I'm not… used to that. With Damien, when he wanted something from me he would just... take it. It was his thing, he loved taking things from me, even more so when I didn't want to give it to him, he loved the challenge. But Keith… he just asked if him touching my hand, pressing his face against my neck while I'm dragging his drunk ass home, is  _ okay with me?  _ Of all the things to ask permission for… I have no fucking idea what to say to that. 

So I say nothing. I pretend like I don't hear him, and I pull him up the stairs with greater insistence. 

_ Before I do something gay and stupid, before I do something gay and stupid, I'm at maximum capacity, one gay and stupid thing per week. Okay, fuck, already broke that… one gay and stupid thing per day. Damnit, that’s a low bar.   _

We step up slowly but surely, and I stop at the first doorway and peer within. There’s a cot on the floor, like a mattress without the frame, pressed against the far wall with a small, viridian nightstand beside it with a decorative flower. There’s a window next to the cot, looking out over the grove of little trees - as in Earth-sized trees - that surround our treehouse. Pidge is within, tucking Lance into bed, and when we peek under the blanket she glances over at me and points up. 

I grumble under my breath many obscenities as I turn back to the stairs, glancing at Keith out of the corner of my eye, "Next room's yours now." 

Keith's breath send warm shocks up my spine as he murmurs in a genuine manner, "Thanks for the help, Will." 

I try not to think too hard about how… amazing hearing my name from his breathless lips sounds.  _ Fuuuuuuuck, I'm too gay for this _ .

We arrive to the next room up the stairwell after a few minutes of slow ascension, and within I praise all that is divine that the room is empty, set up the exact same as the one downstairs, down to the window next to the cot. I guide Keith within, the blanket covering the door falling into place behind me and casting us in almost perfect darkness save for the light of the stars shining into the chamber. 

I set Keith down on the bed. “Alright bud,” I murmur as he plops down on the bedside with a soft  _ bumf _ , “I’m gonna leave. Take your armor off and get some sleep, alright?”

I can’t see Keith’s expression all that clearly in the darkness, but I think he might be smirking, “Wanna help me out in taking it off?”

_ For fucks sake. _

“Goddamnit,  _ Keith. _ ” I grumble with slightly forced annoyance, “Alright. I’ll help you with your boots and the armor on the outside, but the flight suit’s all you, alright?”

“Fair.” Keith murmurs. His hands fumble with his gloves while I kneel on his bedside, and I’m thankful for the darkness of the room to hide how red I’m turning from kneeling like this, I have to shift to be more beside him just so I don’t lose my fucking mind at how compromising it feels. I focus intensely on undoing the straps on his boots and yanking them off so I don’t have to think about it too hard. Beneath his flight suit he’s wearing these crimson socks that have little, scarlet lions prancing across them, and I feel a slight, giddy grin stretching across my face at the sight.  _ That’s fucking adorable.  _ “Nice socks.”

“Thanks.” Keith answers in what sounds to be a genuinely touched tone, the armor on his arms clanking as he tosses them to the side where I threw his boots. I curl my fingers under his chest plate, and he raises his arms helpfully so I can pull it up and off his shoulders. Internally, I'm losing my fucking  _ mind  _ over the fact that I'm undressing Keith, that with each brush of my fingers I can feel his body beneath, a body I got to touch no more than twenty minutes ago. 

For a hot minute I consider it. I  _ really  _ consider just… leaning in right there and kissing him in the pure darkness, a secret easily forgotten, but as soon as the thought invades my mind I shake it out and stomp on it, shoving back into the box from hence it came.  _ No. No. Bad Will, no. That's horrible, don't go taking advantage of him like this, what the fuck is wrong with you? _

As I set his chest plate to the side, he pulls the armor off of his legs and unclicks his belt and tosses it to the side which I’m  _ immensely  _ thankful for since I don’t think it is at  _ all  _ wise for me to touch anything of his chest down or knees up. I see his outline in the window, his hair is askew and curling down just above his shoulders, I can feel his gaze settling on me now that his armor's off.  _ Fuck. I have to get out of here.  _ I move to stand, but I feel Keith’s hand grab onto my wrist, I hesitate as he speaks in a voice just above a whisper, “Wait, Will…”

“Keith.” I answer, although my voice is gentle I ensure that there’s an edge of warning, silently communicating  _ don’t do something you’ll regret. I don't know if I'll be able to say no again.  _

He seems to catch onto this, and the darkness of the room is filled with silence as he hesitates, but he doesn't release my wrist. I peer down at him, remaining on my feet and I feel like his gaze is on me, but not quite. It must be dark enough that he can't really quite see me. After ages of silence he murmurs, “... I have nightmares.”

My heart immediately melts. He has such a raw... gentleness in his voice, and I think that this is the only time I've ever heard him use that tone with anyone but Shiro, and of all people it's  _ me. _  I shift to sit with my feet beneath me, filled with tremendous honor as I maneuver to take his hand, speaking quietly, “I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”

Keith doesn’t speak for a while, his black silhouette haloed by the bare, soft light from the window behind him, but he doesn’t answer.  _ Too personal, maybe. Probably for the best, we really shouldn’t have a drunken heart to heart right now.  _ I venture to speak further, "How can I help?" 

Keith doesn't answer immediately, but I feel is grip on my hand tighten, “Can you stay with me? Just for a minute.”

_ Jesus. Christ. _

I let out the quietest of sighs as my resolve wanes. “… Okay. But only a minute, alright?” I murmur. Keith lies down on his back, his head hitting the pillow with a soft  _ thump _ . I shift a little to sit beside the cot, pulling the blankets up and over him as he turns on his side, facing me, and even though in the darkness I can’t see his face, I can feel him looking at me, or at least in my direction. I set my foot in front of me with my back to the bed frame, even though I can’t see him anyway it’s too much to have to deal with knowing he’s there,  _ somewhere.  _

After a moment, his husky voice cuts the silence, “How do you deal with it? Your nightmares.”

I can’t help but raise an eyebrow, “Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”

Keith chuckles a little, a wonderful sound that causes gooseflesh to break along my forearms as he continues, “Hey, it’s relevant.”

I flicker my gaze downward to where I think is the floor, and I nibble on my bottom lip as I answer in a soft voice, “Honestly, I’m surprised you remembered. I said that when we first met, what like, two weeks ago, now?”

“I have good memory when it comes to you.” Keith answers with a slight slur in his words. I damn near choke on the spot, fortunately he continues only after a brief pause, “So how do you deal with them?”

I swallow on the lump in my throat, fighting past the blush and allowing myself instead to throw myself into thinking out loud about the question rather than how fucking  _ gay  _ that statement was, “At the Castle, honestly I just walk around until I tire myself out enough that I pray they won’t happen. It only works like… half the time.” I let out a slightly annoyed sigh as I speak in a whisper, “I get different nightmares now, which sucks. But it’s whatever.” I shake my head and turn to the side, listening briefly to Keith’s breathing to see if he’s asleep. 

“What about back on Earth?” He ventures, his voice is low and husky but definitely more slurred,  _ he must be getting tired.  _

I let out a soft sigh, “Well… When I was really young my mom would sing to me. She had this song, not sure if it’s from something or if she made it up but… it helped. She’d sit with me until I fell asleep, holding my hand. It’s embarrassing to say it out loud, but… it really helped when I was too scared to fall asleep. Now that I'm grown she doesn’t do that as much anymore, but… I make my own music now to help me fall back asleep. Got a keyboard back home. I’d sing some covers with it to think about before I fell asleep rather than… you know, dwell on what might happen in my dreams that night.”

Keith is silent for a long time, and for a moment I wonder if he’s asleep before he rumbles in a way that I can best describe as dreamy. “Your voice is nice. I'd like to hear you sing.”

I feel a blush burning in my cheeks,  _ for fucks sake, this isn't High School Musical 18.  _ Quickly, I shake my head, then I realize he probably can't see the movement so instead I pat his shoulder and ensuring the covers are pulled up over him, “Maybe some other time. Try and sleep.”

Keith goes quiet, and I let out a soft breath and allow my hand to rest on the cot with my elbow resting on the frame. I close my eyes as I try to pull my shit together.  _ That just happened. That. Just. Happened. He kissed me. At his own volition, even after he rejected me literally this morning. Now he's acting so… strange. Gentle, and sweet, and compassionate. What the ever-living fuck is going on? _

_ ‘What are you so afraid of?’ _

Before I can properly reflect on that terrifying phrase the covers shift. I feel his fingertips push against my hand resting on the cot almost cautiously, with utmost gentleness. When I don’t move or retract my hand his fingertips inch upwards until they’re resting on my fingers, almost edging into my palm before he murmurs with slurred words, “This-okay?” 

I’m not sure what it is that I’m feeling, but it’s filling my heart to the brim; it’s warm, it’s aching but it’s so, so wonderful that it chokes on any words I could say. Insead I soundlessly curl my fingers into his and pull them more into my hand to be held. He makes a soft noise and holds onto my hand more firmly, yet his touches are so feather soft that it sends shivers down my spine. It’s such a tentative grasp, like I could pull away at any time, it gives me such pure, innocent happiness that I let out a barely audible, content sigh. 

_ Fuck it. What harm does it do? I’ll allow this. I’ll allow myself this.  _

I hold his hand, rubbing soothing circles with my thumb on the back. Even though I’m still wearing gloves I can feel the warmth through the rough material, and as I circle the back of his hand I feel a small scar on his both his first and second knuckle, mirror images of each other. 

The room is filled with his slowing breath and I wait, holding his hand for a few minutes until Keith’s breath is deep and rhythmic for several minutes. Slowly, like a glacier, I pull my hand away. It’s agony, every second of it because even such an innocent touch as this just makes me want  _ more _ , to hold him, hug him, kiss his cheek, wind my fingers through his hair and protect him…  _ but those are dangerous thoughts to have, especially when I don’t know how he’s going to act around me in the morning. Even more dangerous considering that those aren't thoughts you have about an idle crush or someone you just really wanna fuck.  _

_ Oh man, what have I done?  _

As soon as my hand is free, I rise as quietly as I can and slip out of the room.

I let out a sigh as soon as the blanket falls into place behind me, the soft light of the fire below flickering in the space as I cover my face with both of my hands. 

_ Fucking God. That just happened. _

The room is empty, I wonder if Pidge is still trying to get Lance to sleep. I walk past and can hear Lance’s breath from within, sleepy with the barest hint of a snore, so I glance up the steps and wonder if I should go to bed as well. I’m exhausted, I feel it in my bones, but I know that as soon as my head hits the pillow that I’m going to overthink and worry and stress about the actions that transpired, to the point that I’ll watch the sunrise.  _ I’m gonna save myself the trouble. I need some time alone, but not in a room. I'm in a forest now, like back home. Maybe that will help, better than when I'd just wander around the Castle. _

I walk down the steps, my boots making bare thumps against the wood as I duck under the blanket that covers the entryway and step outside into the night.

The treehouse is far enough away from the main province of the campsite that I can’t hear the din of the party, but close enough that I can still barely see the soft lights that decorate the pavilions shining like Christmas lights in a neighborhood in the distance. I step into the grasses surrounding the treehouse and delve into the grove, the armory, my mind reeling as I digest the day’s events.

_ Wow, okay. Let’s unpack this. _

_ Keith has lost his fucking mind. Or, at least, he practically turns into a different person when he's drunk. Or he's just expressing himself more openly? Something, something, regardless, I've definitely done fucked up. Again. I think it was a miracle we were starting to get over this  _ **_last_ ** _ time, but a second? Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice... _

My fingertips brush against the rough bark of an Earth-sized tree as my thoughts wander, and although the darkness of a new planet at night should terrify me it seems to clothe me like cotton in a pill bottle. A burning blush rises in my cheeks as I recall the moments on the terrace,  _ God, he tasted so good, I can’t believe I got to experience that for a second time… but  _ **_fuck_ ** _ if I didn’t fuck this up big time. I only just started the long road to getting over this rapidly escalating crush but now… Now it’ll be a miracle if we can even be remotely close to friends. I don’t know if I can even say I just have a crush on him anymore. _

I pick my way over tall grasses as I forge deeper into the armory, the only sound the breeze through the leaves and the distant din of voices.  _ ‘What are you so afraid of?’ _

_ No, I’m not thinking about that.  _

_ He was so guilt ridden about me taking that bullet for him. For a moment I was scared, when he said that it was bullshit that any teammate would've taken the shot, but this is the second time we’ve had this conversation. He takes it so personally that I try to protect him, he keeps trying to get me to be angry with him about it but it just leaves me confused.   _

Idly, my hand falls to my hip and I worm a finger into the now-growing hole in my side from the amount of times I’ve done this. The crackling edges flake away as the burnt crisped particles flicker and fall.  _ He fucking tickled me.  _ **_Tickled_ ** _ me, like we're goddamn kids. He was so giddy, relaxed, open; it was so alien to see him that way yet also so innate and genuine I don’t think that it was a facade. The scars on his knuckles, worn with time, I doubt I would've noticed them save for feeling them beneath the texture of my gloves. I wonder how he got them.  _

_ Maybe… even though he was acting different, maybe tonight was still an authentic Keith; the Keith we see everyday is the Keith that doesn't trust us enough to see that side of him.  _

_ ‘What are you so afraid of?’ _

_ I said no. _

I feel my hands clench and unclench from fists and I stop walking once I reach a clearing in the grove. There’s a fallen branch from the massive tree that hangs above, about as thick around as three of these smaller trees put together. There’s a collection of what appear to be mushrooms, flowers, and strange, green plants that look like lily pads on the top that perch enclosed each other, covering the fallen tree branch like moss. I sit down on the fallen limb, perching my feet up with my fists in my lap.

I wish I had something to play. A guitar, a fucking triangle, I don’t care, but music has always been my best method of dealing with shit like this. Without it, it’s fucking miserable in general, but especially right now, when I’m spiraling in my own head with guilt and anger at myself, I need it to stay sane.  _ I need to stay sane. ‘What are you so afraid of?’ _

_ Why am I afraid? _

My gaze pulls to the side as I try to keep my thoughts to the present, the chill of the night air, the sweet smell of the flowers, the red and white mushrooms growing beneath me spongy and soft against the rough bark, the lily pad looking plants…

Come to think of it, those are actually relatively familiar. I raise an eyebrow and reach a hand out to touch it, and as soon as my hand brushes the leafy surface the plant pulls apart. I yank my hand back in surprise and within the plant, nestled at its base where there usually would be pollen or nectar, are those crowns that Ryner gave us to -  _ what’s the word she used  _ \- interface with the grove. 

I reflect on the moment, when Pidge called the mech suit down with a touch. 

_ I couldn’t make a mech suit like Pidge, but… maybe I can make something else, something that I know like the back of my hand. _

This thought sends sparks along my skin; I frantically grab a crown from within and place it on my brow. No doubt I look stupid as hell, but maybe not, if it works, but I’m alone anyway so  _ who the fuck cares _ . I glance around, my gaze flickering to the nearby trees before I settle on the massive branch I’m sitting on. I see a soft, olive green light permeating from underneath my palms.

I close my eyes and focus.  _ What had Ryner said… we’re all made of the same cosmic dust. The instrument is there, I just have to find it. Okay, that shouldn’t be too hard, but I should probably choose one, so I can visualize it better. Keyboard might be too complicated, but maybe a guitar? That’s pretty basic, let’s just see if this works… Make the guitar. It’s got a hollow body, a neck, strings, a bridge…  _

I hear the faint sound of the crackling of wood, and I open my eyes to see the end of the branch, to my left, moving, almost at its own volition. I jolt off the branch in surprise and watch as a sizable chunk of the branch falls off and to the ground, arranging itself with the snapping of bark and the creak of wood. I see the familiar curve of the guitar body form, then the slender neck, the pegs, and fibrous strings curling out and affixing themselves out the bottom.  _ No fucking way… _

A guitar rests on the forest floor, made of the same, deep mahogany wood as the branch from hence it was made. It has a firm, woven strap along its side, like fresh leather but made from wheat. In awe, I gently reach down and grasp the neck and hoist it into my arms, sitting back down on the branch and resting it on my thigh. It feels natural, just like my guitar back home, the neck just as wide, the curve of the body is comfortably pressing into my chest…  _ I made this.  _

_ Holy fuck, I cannot believe that worked.  _

_ Okay, the crown on my head feels less stupid now. _

I brush my fingers along the strings over the hollow hole in the center of the body, and a soft, familiar sound emanates from it. The strings aren’t metallic, they’re fibrous and soft, like the inside of a stick with you rip back the wood, polished and rounded together to form the strings. It makes the notes sound a little different, softer, not brash and brazen like with metal strings, but the notes themselves are the same. I press my fingertips against the fret in a familiar chord and strum, and my heart nearly sings at the sound but it's muffled because of my gloves. I rip them and the armor around my wrists frantically and toss them to the ground so I can feel the strings along my own skin.

I pluck absentmindedly, focusing on the progression of notes that float through the air and crowding out the stress, the worry, and the fear of what tomorrow will bring. It’s such a relief, to finally get to play something, even if it isn’t my favorite instrument, but I doubt I’d be able to make a keyboard from a branch.  _ That’d be just… too technologically complicated for me, I think, because I haven’t the faintest clue how they’re supposed to work.  _

_ But…  _ My fingers stall on the strings as I glance down at the branch I'm sitting on.  _ I’ll never know until I try, right? _

I set down the guitar for a moment before closing my eyes and pressing my hands against the branch I sit upon.  _ Alright ake the thing. Keyboard. With keys. Musical instrument, you know how it be. There are white keys, black keys… They make these notes, these different sounds…  _

I open my eyes as the same crackling sound as before permeates through the air, and I glance over excitedly as another chunk of the branch falls to the ground, snapping and crackling with broken wood. I feel like I’m watching a present being unwrapped, I’m giddy as hell. It flattens out on the surface, ridges appearing like teeth on the side as the wood snaps into place, and before long a wooden keyboard rests on the forest floor. In excitement I leap up and kneel before it and press my fingers against the smoothed keys like my life depends on it.

No sound comes out.

I frown, and press down a little harder. They give, just like normal piano keys, but nothing comes out of them. I smash the keys in frustration, but it's hopeless, they only creak with the harder touches. I seethe, baring my teeth and upturning the keyboard off to the side. The wood crackles weakly, pieces flying off before it lies still a meter away.  _ Lame. Guess I can only hope for so much. That did make me feel better, though. _

I glance back at the guitar.  _ At least I have that, though, that’s better than nothing. More than better.  _ Leaning against the branch at my back, I pull the guitar back into my lap. I pluck notes and chords as my frustration wanes, it’s replaced with calm.  _ Nothing but me and the notes. Just me and my music. God fucking bless the Olkari, I don't know what I would've done- _

“Dude,  _ sick _ , I didn’t know you played guitar!” I nearly jump out of my skin and drop the damn thing as Pidge’s voice snips from behind me. 

I turn and look at her with wide eyes, a hand over my chest with a huff, “Jesus Christ, you scared me!”

“Sorry.” Pidge mumbles, stepping over the fallen branch with some difficulty, since it's rather large for her shorter legs before she sits behind me on the branch. 

“Get Lance to sleep?” I ask as I fiddle with the tuning pegs.

Pidge lets out a dramatic sigh, “It took so  _ long,  _ he was so obnoxious, talking about his skin care routine or something, it took me forever to convince him that we weren’t in the Castle!” 

I snicker, catching her feet and the bottom half of her torso from my peripheral as she has a seat on the log. She shoves her hands between her thighs with a slight wiggle, like she’s cold, before she raises an eyebrow at me, “You made that with the little crown thing?”

I nod, setting the guitar off to the side and pulling the crown off my head, “Yeah, these are pretty wicked. I tried to make a keyboard, but it ended up just being a block of wood.” I gesture to it where I’d set it off to the side in disappointment, tossing the crown over towards it dismissively. 

“Aww, too bad. That’s your favorite, right?” 

“Eh, it’s whatever.” I glance up at her after a few beats of comfortable silence, "You had that connection, too. You got to make that mech suit."

Pidge is quiet for a moment, her eyes are a little distant as she breathes, "Before, I thought I was really bonded with my lion. But something about making that mech suit, it… it awakened something in me, and she sensed it. She knew I was capable of more. Ryner helped me to realize that when I got knocked from the sky during the fight." Quietly, she pulls at the pliable neck of her flight suit, and I see the chain just underneath, resting on her slender neck. 

“You got a stone.” I state, turning now to fully face her .

She enthusiastically nods, “Dude, yeah, it was wild!” She pulls on the chain from beneath her suit, and produces the pendant. 

The Green Lion’s stone looks exactly like mine in shape, save for that its edges are hard cut like that of a gem, as I reach out to touch it it feels like a piece of dried ice beneath my fingertips. It has a dark, forest green exterior, but within I can see a soft lime green light, pulsing at regular intervals like a heartbeat coming from the stone itself. 

“Can I see yours?” Pidge asks. I tug on the chain from beneath my flight suit and produce the White Lion’s stone obediently. She holds out a hand and I set my guitar down on the ground to sit beside her on the fallen limb, her stone in my palm with my stone in hers. She runs her thumb across the smoothed, silvery surface and then touches Kevin, who remains rigid curled around the side as she raises an eyebrow at me, “Did this come with your stone?” She asks, touching Kevin’s wings with an inquisitive, scientific tone.

“Technically, yeah.” I reply, glancing down at her stone in my palm. The pulse from within is constant, like I’m holding an egg. “But he didn’t show up until later, after we got back. I’m not really sure why.” 

Pidge nods in understanding, touching her finger to the Green Lion’s stone. The pulse within immediately flickers a little brighter at her touch as she murmurs, “It only started doing that bit when I finally got Lance to sleep.” She rises her gaze to meet mine, the dark starlight of the night reflecting off of her round glasses, “I wonder what these are for…” 

“Maybe it’s a connection.” I answer softly, glancing down at my own stone, “You got yours when we fought the cube, right?” She nods, I find myself grinning a little, “I remember your enthusiasm rejoining the fight… I don't think we would've won without that gun of yours."

I don't need to look at her to know that she's blushing, "Yeah, that was pretty cool, huh?" 

We grin in unison, and I playfully glance at her from the side, "Yeah it was." I let Pidge’s stone drop back to hanging on her chest as I fully meet her gaze, “What happened with Ryner that made you get that connection with your lion?” 

Pidge is quiet for a moment, her head tilted to the side in contemplation, “When I fell down to the ground, I couldn’t get my lion back up. That’s when Ryner appeared, they were talking to me in my head through my connection to my lion and told me that phrase:  _ ‘we’re all made of the same cosmic dust’. _ ” Her gaze flickers to the forest floor at the wild, tangled grasses as she continues, “It just made me realize that my lion and I… we’re the same. These lines we had before, they just sort of vanished and melded together. I didn’t really know where I ended and she began.” She pauses suddenly as her gaze settles on the stone around her neck, “Maybe that’s what it is…”

I raise an eyebrow, “That’s what what is?”

Pidge snaps her gaze to mine, now speaking quicker as her enthusiasm rises, “You got your stone when you got your lion, and I thought it was just because of that test you had to do, right?” She touches the stone with a gloved hand, biting her lip in thought, “I think that was partially right; I think that it was the test, but I think it wasn’t just proving your worth to your lion, but I think it was also establishing a connection from you to it.” She lets her hand drop to her lap, her gaze now firmly on mine, “I think we kind of… unlocked the medallions by getting that deep connection with our lion. You got it quickly because of that test, but maybe for the rest of us… it takes some more time, trial and error, maybe.” 

I blink, mulling it over with my hands in my lap and nodding, “I mean… That makes sense to me. But that still begs the question what does it  _ do  _ though?” I ask as I grasp onto my stone, letting out a huff, “Why do we need a literal reminder of our established connection?”

Pidge shakes her head, letting out an annoyed puff of air in a rush through her nose, “Well, we’ve learned that yours has healing properties, so we can start there, but beyond that… I don’t know. When we get back to the Castle tomorrow, we’re running some tests. All the tests: constitution analysis, composition review-“

“Christ.” I chuckle, sliding out of my seat beside Pidge and back to the forest floor, picking up my guitar and settling it back to my lap, “I don’t even know what that  _ means. _ ” 

Pidge laughs with a wide grin, “Just know we’re leaving no  _ stone _ unturned.” 

I give her a long and tired look as she breaks into wild laughter. I slide back down to the ground and pick my guitar back up idly to sit in my lap as Pidge laughs to her heart’s content. I rest my hands on the frets in thought to play something just as Pidge pipes up, “So… you and Keith.” 

I can hear the smirk in her voice, I turn and smack her on the knee with a loud, dramatic groan of complaint. She snickers and hops out of my reach, a grin widening across her face, I feel a deep blush rising in my cheeks, “Oh, something  _ totally  _ happened, I gotta know, drop the coffee,  _ drop it! _ ”

“Nothing happened!” I huff in response. I set my guitar flat in my lap and instead anxiously crack my knuckles just over the strings to avoid meeting her gaze, “… Okay some shit happened… but nothing good.”

Pidge grins at me as she slides down to sit in the grass beside me, “I don’t know,  _ he  _ seemed like he was having a  _ wonderful _  time.”

The burn in my cheeks migrates to my neck and my ears as I let out a very loud sigh like I was holding my breath, “ _ Christ  _ I know, he was acting so fucking weird! He’s been acting like that since he pulled me up to the treetops.” I was gonna leave it at that but when I look over at Pidge I see her eyebrows are quirked in an expression that reads  _ ‘and?’ _ . I let out a loud sigh, “Alright, alright, so he kind of…” I groan again, loudly, as I bury my face in my hands, my words are almost entirely muffled, “Well, in summary, he kissed me.”

Pidge gasps loudly as soon as the words leave my mouth, “Dude,  _ what?! _ ”

“Yeah.” I sigh, chewing on my lip.

Pidge’s smile that had stretched across her face slowly dies. I look away and down at my boots as Pidge raises an eyebrow, “Why don’t you look excited? I thought you liked him?”

“I do!” I answer so fast it’s, frankly, embarrassing, so I clear my throat and amend my statement, “… I do. But you saw him, he was drunk! He drank what weird, whiskey smelling shit and like… that’s not good. That’s not  _ healthy  _ for him to do that while he’s that way, and…” I frown as I struggle to find the words, fidgeting with the armor on my wrists elbows as I bite my lip, “After the shit that’s already kind of gone down it just all spells  _ disaster.  _ I should’ve stopped him, because now he’s gonna wake up tomorrow, hung over, and regret it.” I pause and furrow my eyebrows, letting out a deep sigh, “Who am I kidding. It’s way more selfish than that. I just… I don’t want for him to experiment on me while he’s like that and then deny it ever happened, or worse, admit it did and then be mad at me for it.”

Pidge is silent for a few seconds, before she lets out a pent up breath, “That’s… definitely not good, yeah. For either of you. That really sucks.”

“Yeah,” I exhale sharply out of my nose with a slight smirk, “It does suck.”

Pidge fidgeting with her hands while I awkwardly stare at my boots before she suddenly perks, “Wait a second… you said shit’s already gone down? Did you mean between you?” She pauses as I let out another long, drawn out sigh before she tilts her head at me, “Is that why you were in your lion crying your eyes out the other night?” 

I feel my hackles rise immediately, “For the record, I had  _ already  _ cried my eyes out, I was just there eating dinner in some goddamn peace and quiet.” Pidge snickers a little at my expression which helps alleviate the embarrassment, and I let my shoulders relax as I shrug a little, “I kind of uh… May have… Maybe admitted I liked him and then kind of kissed hi-“ 

_ “Dude,  _ **_what?!_ ** _ ”  _ Pidge proclaims with wide eyes, her jaw dropping to the ground as she claps her hands over her cheeks, “Okay, you’re gonna need to back up, are there any  _ other  _ times you’ve had some-”

“I beg you not to finish that sentence.” I murmur with both of my hands covering my face. 

“Alright, alright,” Pidge chuckles softly to herself before she nudges me with her foot, “So, what happened then?”

Choosing my words carefully, I tell Pidge exactly what happened. From Keith cornering me, to the discussion, to the confession, then to the  _ horrible decisions  _ that followed. Once I finished, Pidge sits quietly with her chin in one hand, leaning her elbow on her knee with an eyebrow raised, “Yeah, Will, no offense, but you’re kind of a fucking idiot.” 

I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose, “Yeah,  _ I know- _ “ 

“No, no, not about what you did.” Pidge waves her hands at me to cut me off, narrowing her eyes at me before she points at me accusingly, “I mean that Keith  _ totally  _ likes you back. I mean, if he didn’t immediately run screaming into the hills when you kissed him, then he’s  _ not straight,  _ and then after tonight… It’s practically spelled out for you.” She makes an arc with her hands as if demonstrating with a sign that says ‘ _ He Gay’ _ . 

“Yeah, I mean… Maybe.” I murmur, biting my lip, “This morning, after we went out to fix the calibration, we talked for a minute about it. And I mean it literally, it was super brief. I said I was sorry, and he was… weird. I don’t know, he was like, _ ‘you don’t know how I feel,’ _ ” I mock his voice with a downward turn of my lips, dropping my tone low in jest as I let out a sigh, “But then I was like, ‘Okay, how do you feel then?’ and he said  _ ‘I don’t know.’ _ ” I throw my hands in the air with a louder, dramatic groan, “What the  _ fuck  _ am I supposed to do with that? And now after tonight?” I give Pidge a look of incredulousness, my hands perched on the neck of my guitar and the flat body, “At best, he’s having an existential crisis, at worst… don’t even know. All I know is that it’s _ really  _ fucking with my feelings.” My gaze drops to the body of my guitar. Pidge from her place to my right sits quietly, her hands cupping the top of her boots with a slight frown. 

“Yeah… that really sucks.” She murmurs, her shoulders sagging as I merely nod in response.  I pick my guitar back up and settle it back in my lap, eager to let the subject drop. I pluck out some harmonic notes, distracting myself with the sounds as I try to formulate some sort of a melody. 

Pidge listens for a time, watching my fingers move before she speaks again, “Maybe he won’t regret it, though. Who knows what’s going on in that broody head of his.” Pidge jabs lightly, and I find a ghost of a smile crack along my expression as my fingers slide along the wooden frets, the dull ache in my fingertips from lack of practice is a welcome distraction.

“I guess we’ll just have to see.” I answer softly, strumming a chord and plucking along the strings before I glance over at Pidge, “Give me a song to play.”

Pidge raises an eyebrow at me, “What can you play?”

I shrug, “A bunch. List off some.”

Pidge frowns a little, “Okay, well… Wonderwall-” I reach out a hand and smack Pidge on the shoulder fondly, “Seriously? That’s  _ such _ an old meme.”

“ _ You’re  _ an old meme.” Pidge snickers in response, grinning broadly at me before her expression returns to its previous pension, “Well, okay, my music taste is the obscure, old age stuff, though, just a warning. So… I like American Oxygen, Burn Out, Floundering Gossips, Gold Day, Red Hot…”

“Dude,” I exhale with a slight smirk, “Gold Day and Red Hot? Those are  _ old _ .”

“I told you!” Pidge snaps back, leaning on her knees, crossing her ankles as she leans her head back against the wood. I glance down at the strings, biting my lip as I think of what songs I know from that time period. I know quite a few, actually, because most newer age stuff is too technological for me to feasibly play on a stringed instrument. After 2050 artists started migrating away from using traditional instruments in favor of machines mimicking sound, which is a lot less expensive and easier to pump out genres, but it does give me a lot of historical music to play with; I even used to pretend I wrote them myself because no one knew them save for the real music oldies. 

So, I begin to drum my knuckles along the sides as a song comes to me, closing my eyes as the rhythm flows. I strum softly and sing quietly under my breath.

_ "Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner, _   
_ Sometimes I feel like my only friend _   
_ Is the city I live in, _   
_ The city of angels,  _   
_ Lonely as I am _   
_ Together we cry...”  _

Pidge raises an eyebrow at me as I continue to play but after a moment she gasps as recognition clicks with the familiar notes, immediately joining in with enthusiasm,

_ “I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion, _   
_ I walk through her hills 'cause she knows who I am. _   
_ She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy _   
_ I never worry... _   
_ Now that is a lie.” _

I rap on the wooden side of the guitar and when I make eye contact with Pidge I know immediately that she’s on the same page as we launch into the chorus, practically yelling the lyrics loudly and with extreme enthusiasm,

_ "I don't ever want to feel like I did that day! _   
_ Take me to the place I love _   
_ Take me all the way! _   
_ I don't ever want to feel _   
_ Like I did that day! _   
_ Take me to the place I love _   
_ Take me all the way..!" _

I strum idly the background, simplistic notes of the song as Pidge lets out an enthusiastic gasp, "Dude, that's  _ awesome _ , that's one of my favorite songs by them! What else can you play?”

I shrug nonchalantly as I change to another plucking riff, “All I know is mostly old age stuff, and some of my stuff. Burn Out and bands like that are just like, impossible to make into acoustic versions of that sound even remotely good.” I reply with a grin, tilting my head to the side to listen to the notes of the strings, making sure they’re in tune.

Pidge raises an eyebrow at me, “Your stuff? You write songs, too? Will, what the hell, how is this only the first time I’m hearing about this?!” Her voice drips in betrayal.

I manage a soft laugh under my breath as I glance over at her in amusement, “I’ve told you before that I play piano.”

“Yeah I remember, but writing your own music and stuff is just… next level stuff!” She gasps dramatically, her gaze flickering to my hand as it plucks the strings before she faces me fully, her hands grasping her ankles in excitement, “Play me one of your songs?”

I feel a slight burn in my cheeks in embarrassment, “Hell no, they’re shit.”

“You’re a bad liar.” Pidge grins at me like a gremlin. I playfully shove her with my shoulder, sighing and stalling my fingers over the strings.

“… Maybe some other time.” Before she can argue with me, I interrupt her with a humming chord, “Give me another song.”

Pidge raises an eyebrow at me and taps her lips before she gasps, jumping up and down from her seat in the grass and clapping her hands, “Oh, dude, oh my gosh, do you know any other old songs from the before the 40’s? I know, that’s super eclectic but listen, that shit was  _ so fire-“ _

“You’re way too excitable this late at night.” I tease, flipping through my mental list of songs before raising my eyebrow at Pidge, “I know one song that was pretty popular way back, you might know it if you know Gold Day and shit…” I chew on my lip and strum the initial chords, plucking the introductory piece. 

Immediately Pidge gasps as she recognizes the song, “ _ Oh my gosh,  _ this is my  _ jam! _ ” She closes her eyes and plays air drums in junction with my playing, and luckily she knows the words far better than I do and she belts them out with unmatched enthusiasm.

_ “Ooooooh life, it’s bigger! _ _  
_ _ It’s bigger, than you, and you are not me!” _

She whips her head back and forth, her wild, shoulder length hair swinging in junction with her movement, 

_ “The lengths that I will go to,  _   
_ The distance in your eyes! _ __  
_ Oh no, I’ve said too much! _ _  
_ __ I set it up.”

Pidge points off into the forest as she serenades the grove, 

_ “That’s me in the corner! _   
_ That’s me in the spot- _   
_ Light- _ _  
_ _ Losing my religiooooon!” _

“You two are being  _ unbelievably  _ loud.” I make a guitar’s equivalent to a record scratch as a deep, resonate voice echoes from behind Pidge and I and we whip around as Shiro approaches. He’s traipsing around the branch we’re sitting at with his eyebrow raised.

“Erm… We were just… We…” Pidge points to me, and I point back at her with a thumb as we make matching smiles, like cats caught in the cream, before Shiro breaks out in laughter.

“It’s fine, guys, don’t worry. But the look on your face right now is  _ priceless. _ ” Shiro jokes, sitting down on the fallen branch beside us as both Pidge and I let out sighs of relief, “Have fun at the party?”

“Yeah, it was wild.” Pidge answers for me, her gaze momentarily flickering to mine before she looks up at Shiro, “Keith and Lance got  _ wasted _ , though. We had to take them home. That friend-juice stuff that they had there was no joke! It’s interesting that they have alcohol here, but it makes sense, I guess, I mean, it’s a simple compound and not special just to Earth, but still, the implications-“

“Yeah, it was certainly no joke.” Shiro cuts Pidge off as politely as he can manage, smiling sheepishly as he juts his thumb back from whence we came, “You’re gonna want to get to bed pretty soon, though. We have early start tomorrow.”

“Okay, okay,  _ dad. _ ” Pidge huffs derisively through her nose, and I snicker, covering a hand over my mouth as Shiro falters a little, his eyes wide in shock. 

I point at him with a laugh, “Now you should see  _ your  _ face!” I turn to Pidge with an enthusiastic grin, standing up with my new guitar at hand, “So, okay, listen, Shiro’s our dad, that’s established, but I feel like he needs an extra title that couples  _ with  _ his dad title.”

Shiro crosses his arms, and despite the darkness of the forest I can definitely see a dark blush spreading across his scarred nose, “I’m not sure if that’s neces-“

“Oh, you’re right, Will, you’re right… Lion-dad? Voltron-dad? No, those don’t click- OH!” Pidge gasps dramatically, snapping her fingers at me as she whispers,  _ “Space dad.” _

I grin wildly, turning towards Shiro with my tongue stuck out in amusement,  _ “That’s perfect.” _

Shiro pinches the bridge of his nose, attempting to but failing to mask the smile that spreads across his face, “You two should definitely head to bed. You sure you didn’t have any of that… what’s it,  _ ‘friend juice’ _ ?”

“Nope, we’re perfectly sober.” Pidge answers with a confident grin, her hands perched on her hips in a confident stance. 

I grin broadly at Shiro, “Yeah, we’re just that weird.” Pidge holds up a hand, and I give her a swift high-five as Shiro sighs.

I grab my discarded arm guards and my guitar and together we head back to the treehouse. I pull the fibrous strap attached to the guitar’s body on like a backpack for ease of carrying, and Shiro notices the movement from his peripheral. He turns and glances at the instrument before fixing me with a curious glance and a raised eyebrow, “Will, where did you manage to find that, by the way?” 

I grin immediately, enthusiastic to answer, “I made it with that crown thing! So, I can’t make a mech suit, but I  _ can  _ make something worthless to our mission.” I gesture to the instrument slung over my shoulder. Shiro shakes his head with a soft laugh. 

“It’s not worthless at all, I think it’ll be a great morale booster.” He gestures between Pidge and I with a finger, “That much is already evident.” 

Pidge and I share a knowing glance as we arrive to the treehouse. We murmur muted ‘goodnights’ as we head our separate ways up the stairwell, breaking off into individual rooms. I hear loud snoring coming from the third room, next to Keith’s, so I can only assume that Hunk has returned from the party as well.  _ Thank God, I don’t want to worry about dragging his ass to bed. I can carry Keith okay, but Hunk is a big boy and I don’t have great upper body strength.  _ Shiro breaks off first in the fourth room up the stairwell, and I let Pidge take the fifth. I arrive to the next room and head inside, immediately stripping out of my armor and setting my guitar aside as exhaustion immediately begins to weigh on my limbs at the prospect of sleep.  _ Sleep. Yes, sleep, sleep is good, I like sleep. _

I twist out of my armor and then peel out of my flight suit, throwing it to the ground in relief to have the cool night air against my skin. I get under the covers of the cot in the t-shirt and boxers I wear under my suit, and even though it’s chilly to be basically naked the exhaustion of the day sets in as soon as my head hits the pillow. 

_ Yeah, Sleep is good.  _

I would’ve kept sleeping had the shouting not been right outside of my room. 

“I am  _ literally  _ about to die, why are we even awake when the sun is rising?!”  _ Sounds like Lance, no one else has a voice that whiny.  _

“I told you, we’re getting an early start.”  _ That’s definitely Shiro. No one else is that polite and respectful this fucking early.  _

“ _ Shiro _ , I’m  _ literally dying- _ “ 

“Will you shut up? We’re  _ all  _ dying.” The husky voice is softer, full of exhaustion.  _ Probably Keith, hungover as hell.  _

_ Keith. Hungover.  _ **_Fuck._ **

I snap awake immediately as the night’s events return to me in a wave.  _ Fuck. Fuck.  _

_ FUCK. _

“No, only you two are dying, because you were idiots and drank the friendship sauce or whatever.” I slowly swing my legs out from beneath the covers and shiver at the freezing morning air. I want so badly to get back under the blankets, they were so _warm_ , but I know Shiro will be coming in any minute to wake me up. 

I blink lazily around the room and spot the guitar I made, leaning against the wall by the entryway, and I’m immediately filled with bliss.  _ Thank God, I was hoping that that wasn’t a dream. _ I stand up, every muscle aching as I pull my flight suit back on from where I’d carelessly tossed it to the floor the night before so I can get going before Shiro comes to get me. 

“Coran said it was ‘friend juice,’ but yeah, Hunk’s right. Even though you’re the only ones who are hungover, there’s no need to be making us as miserable as you from your  _ loud complaining _ .” Pidge retaliates, their voices are wafting up the staircase, that’s why it sounds like it’s right outside my door. The fried edges of the hole in my suit flake and fall when I step into my suit as I fasten my gloves and socks to step into my boots and armor.

“I think I’m complaining just the right amount, thank you!” Lance snaps. I can already tell that the rest of the day is going to be miserable based on how  _ this  _ is going. 

“Alright, guys, lets not get at each other’s throats. Get your stuff to head back to the Castle.” Shiro’s voice is getting closer to my room as I pull the chest plate. I grab my guitar and swing it onto my back, and as I step out of my room I nearly knock right into Shiro as he’s about to stick his head in. 

“Oh, great, you’re up.” Shiro murmurs with an amicable grin. He looks well rested, his smile is warm and his eyes glimmer from the gold light cascading down from the open ceiling of the treehouse. It’s kind of annoying, actually, how well rested he looks.

“How can I sleep with all the damn ruckus?” I joke with a tired lilt, pressing past Shiro to walk down the stairs with him close at my heels. 

Below the others are collected around the extinguished fire with varying stages of exhaustion clear on their faces. Lance is the worst, I can see the bags under his eyes even from the second level as I descend and the dramatic droop of his shoulders where he stands by the doorway. He looks like he’s about to give out on the spot, but is being held up by the sheer desire to complain about how tired he is. 

Pidge and Hunk both look tired, but not nearly to the extent that Lance is, although the closer I look at Hunk the more I think he might actually be asleep standing up, his eyes are half closed and his mouth is slightly open. I feel my feet stall a little on the steps when I glance at Keith, who’s standing by Lance with his arms crossed. He’s definitely hungover, I see the signs, looking at everything like it’s too loud and too bright, with a deep scowl and narrowed eyes like he’s peering into the sunlight even in the shrouded light inside the tree. He must feel me looking because he meets my gaze and immediately I look back down at my feet, carefully constructing a mask of lackadaisical,  _ yeah I slept ok, but at least it was better than y’all.  _

“Dude, what is  _ that? _ ” Lance’s incredulous tone pierces my ears, and I look up with a slightly annoyed expression at Lance’s squinting face. He gestures with one finger with his other hand tucked under his arm at me, like a mother awake only to scold her kid for being out past curfew. 

I blink and glance down, and eventually I realize what exactly he’s talking about as I meet his gaze, “A guitar.” 

“Whoa, what?” Hunk snaps awake with a jolt, upon probably realizing he was falling asleep.

Lance continues with an accusatory tone, “Yeah, I got that, but where did you get it?” 

I can’t help but grin wistfully, “I made it with those crown things! Isn’t that cool?” 

Lance groans loudly, his head lolling backwards like a cheap doll, “Aww, now you can do that, too? No fair, why is-” 

“Alright, let’s head back to our lions and load up into the Castle for takeoff.” Shiro interrupts in a commanding tone, just as brisk and just as curt as ever as he shepherds us out the door. 

“Remind me why we had to wake up this early again?” Lance groans in complaint, moving on quickly as we step out, shielding his eyes from the sunlight shining into the grove. The trees above us are scarlet and gold in the sun, and if it were back on Earth I would estimate that it must be something like 9 in the morning. 

I turn towards Lance with a raised eyebrow, “Everything’s too early when you’re hungover, Lance. Maybe think about that next time we go to a victory party.” 

Lance turns and glares at me with such narrowed eyes they almost look closed, “Will,  _ I swear- _ ” 

“Lance.” Shiro murmurs in warning from beside him. Lance huffs in response and crosses his arms over his chest but otherwise doesn’t continue, visibly quelled. Shiro flickers his gaze to each of us as he starts to walk down the path and we scurry after like a trail of ducklings, “I know it’s not ideal, but we don’t want to overstay our welcome. And, we’ve got to get moving to plan our next move.” 

“I don’t know, but I hope our next move is some breakfast.” Hunk rumbles, I glance over to see him patting his stomach with a frowning pout. I pat him on the shoulder in condolence, and he gives me an exhausted look.  _ Seems like he didn’t sleep well either.  _

“Sure thing, after we get off of Olkarion.” Shiro answers pragmatically, and we continue through the forest in silence. Pidge kicks at the grass with a deep frown that’s almost a pout, rubbing her eyes beneath her glasses like a toddler that’s been awake too long.  _ Damn, maybe staying for the celebration actually was a bad idea. _

Before long, through the massive trunks the glimmering white spires of the Castle of Lions come into view through the limbs. Beyond I can see the flickering passing of our lions resting in a semicircle around the Castle, their barriers glimmer like lasers cut into the morning light.

As we make it to the break in the trees, we all start at the large, silent assembly that’s collected by our lions. The Olkari have gathered, at least a hundred, mingling together outside of our lions barriers. When we approach, a few notice us and immediately alert their nearest companions, and before long all the Olkari are cheering and waving to us with enthusiasm that we simply cannot match in our exhausted state. I manage a smile and a wave, but I have to fight off the sudden urge to yawn.  _ Oh last night was most certainly a mistake, we’re gonna look so rude. _

The Olkari part through the middle in a synchronized wave and Ryner steps through with a warm expression. They’re wearing similar clothing as the night prior save that it’s a deep orange, practically russet, but they weave intricately around their form like royal robes. They approach us with their hands clasped in front of them, we pause as they speak amicably, “I hope you enjoyed the evening’s festivities?” 

“Definitely, thank you again.” Shiro answers for the group, nodding politely as we all attempt to stand as straight and as politely attentive as we can, with varying success. No sooner do we stop walking does Hunk’s eyelids flutter like he’s about to fall asleep on his feet. 

“We’re glad to hear it.” Ryner replies with a soft smile, and as they look to each of us they add, “We came to see you off, and thank you again for your aid.” 

“We were more than happy to help.” Shiro smiles amicably at Ryner, shifting to rest his helmet on his hip, “We will welcome your aid in our fight against Zarkon once you have your people settled.” 

“And you will have it. All you have to do is ask.” Ryner smiles, revealing a small device in their spindly hand. It’s Altean, about as large as a phone, with only one blue button in the center with the symbol of Voltron. I vaguely recall that I think Allura gave the Arusians a similar device, to call upon us if they required assistance. 

“We have to start with rebuilding our cities, cleaning up the mess the Galra left behind for the last few decapheebs,” Ryner continues with their hands clasped over the Altean communicator, “From there we will begin to sweep our quadrant and liberate our neighbors from Galra control. After this point, we will be completely at your disposal.”

Shiro nods, “We’ll keep an ear out for a transmission from you.” 

Ryner nods respectfully before they offer a smile, “Safe journeys to you, Voltron.” Ryner bows to us, and behind her the Olkari speak in a deep moaning tone with utter clarity in their voices,  _ “Voltron!” _

_ It’s a little uncanny how they can do that.  _

“Thank you again for your hospitality.” Shiro answers with a smile, before he turns around to face us where we stand, exhausted, behind him, “Alright, let’s get our lions to their hangers and head out.”

Like obedient zombies we split to our individual lions and climb aboard to return them to their hangers in the Castle. I stride up the stairs slowly, the bright, gentle gray and white hues of the sides of the stairwell the only thing keeping my eyes wide open in that moment. I was okay waking up, but after the quiet walk that felt so  _ long  _ I feel fatigue climbing back into my bones. I figure it’s because this is the first fight I think I’ve ever not ended up in a healing pod, so I’m probably worn out just as much as the others are from the action with the cube yesterday. Forming Voltron is tiring, fighting in our lions is tiring, it’s like when you’re swimming and you think you’re fine then you get out and you’re starving and your arms hurt. 

I pull my guitar from off my back and set it down on the floor before I slump into my chair, Silver’s controls popping up in greeting as her systems fire up. I lean down and pick up my helmet where I’d discarded it yesterday, pulling it on as I reach forward to grasp the controls. 

“Good morning, Paladins! I’m glad to see that you’re finally awake.” Allura’s voice comes over the com as I engage the White Lion’s thrusters, lifting her up and guiding her to her hanger at the Castle’s base. 

“We had a bit of a slow start, but we’re all set and ready to go when you are.” Shiro replies. I have no idea how he’s so well rested, or at least pretending to be well rested, when even I am struggling and I’m the master of  _ ‘fake it ‘til you make it’. _

_ At least up until recently. _

As the doors to my lion’s hanger shut, I feel the startup thrusters of the Castle fire up in preparation for takeoff. I pat the holographic keyboard in farewell as I stand up, my lion’s systems shutting off as she lays down in the hanger. I grab my guitar just before I descend down the stairs and exit through her jaws, her barrier erecting around her while she rests as I take my elevator to the bridge. I pull the instrument back onto my back, the weight on my shoulders rather comforting; knowing that it’s there puts me at ease.  _ Alright. Time for us to construct a game plan and  _ **_hopefully_ ** _ go back to bed. If not for rest’s sake then at least so Lance can go complain in his own room where he can do something about it. _

When I walk onto the bridge the first person I spot is Coran standing at the front of the ship, intensely focused on his hologram with his fingers typing at a mile a minute. He looks like he just took a shower with his clothes on, he’s completely soaked, but I don’t find it within me to question why. 

Allura stands in her circle, typing away a series of commands on one of the three hologram screens that surround her. Her hair is in two twin braids from the top of her head, curling gracefully down her shoulders and over her armor. My field hockey team back in Virginia would do one another’s hair up like that before we went to CAD games for good luck. She glances up when my elevator door opens and as our eyes meet she smiles in greeting, “Will, how are you?” 

I smile in response, albeit a little tiredly as I move to join her in her circle, “I’m doing alright, but just a warning, everyone’s a bit tired…”

No sooner do the words leave my mouth than the others come rolling in from their elevators, Lance immediately starts complaining, “Alright, let’s do the thing where we take off and decide where we do things so I can go back to bed!”

Allura raises an eyebrow at Lance before she glances back at me, covering her mouth with a hand to disguise her secret laughter before her expression returns to its resting, queenly state, “Get to your stations, we’re ready for takeoff.” 

Obediently we go to our chairs dispersed on the bridge. I set my guitar down strings up on the floor behind the seat and type in my commands. 

“Will, what is that you have there?” Allura asks suddenly, I look up at her with a raised eyebrow. She’s turned halfway away from her screens, regarding my guitar where it rests on the floor with a completely clueless expression. 

“It’s a guitar.” I answer.Allura merely stares at me stupidly in response. It takes me a second to think comprehensively before I can elaborate, “It’s an instrument from Earth. I made it with those crown thingies last night.” 

“Oh!” Allura’s eyes light up, her hands clasped over her heart, “How quaint! I can’t wait to see your Earthling version of music.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s cool, it’s great, can we get going now? I’m hungry.” Hunk replies in a grouchy manner, but as soon as he says it he taps his fingers together and shoots me an apologetic look, “Sorry, I’m kind of hangry.” 

I can’t find it in me to get even remotely upset with Hunk when he speaks in such a sweet tone, “This is you hangry? You’re more than fine, Hunk.” 

After a few seconds a loud thrumming sound shakes the Castle as we lift off of the surface. We rattle in our seats as the glass at the front of the bridge grows darker as we ascend from the atmosphere until we’re surrounded by stars, Olkarion left behind.  _ Phew. Alright. Planet two of our Galra liberation spree complete. Where next? _

Allura turns away from her panel and Shiro rises from his seat at the front, moving up the stairs to join her. We mirror him, getting up and convening in the center of the room as Shiro speaks, “Alright, so let’s think of our next course of action-“ 

No sooner do we convene doe the Castle’s alarm systems suddenly flash red with loud sirens echoing in the room. We tense with wide eyes, and I peer out the glass at the front of the ship as a field of violet energy pulses before us. In a blink of an eye it vanishes, only to be replaced by an absolutely massive, familiar ship, the X, chromosomal shape spiraling beyond and dwarfing the size of the Castle where it hovers, pulsing with purple energy. Immediately our exhaustion fades as fear and adrenaline kick in when we recognize the vessel.

“Zarkon!” Allura cries in disbelief, “He found us!”     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***   
> Pidge, Will, and Shiro bonding moments are just *clenches fist* so good,,,,  
> Songs are Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers (Red Hot... Red Hot CHILI Peppers... im bad at coming up with new band names) and Losing My Religion by REM  
> Also I am, frankly, SHOCKED that there are actually people reading this. Most of my end notes are just me screaming into the void with commentary about my own writing but like... y'all be reading this. Some of you actually be reading this til HERE and that's just fuckin' wild, so thank you?? I'm hoping you're enjoying it and I'll try not to disappoint?  
> Sorry it's kinda short  
> Update: Evened it out a lot more, should be easier for reading!  
> Update on the update: I no longer give a fuck about word count, suffer. (Just kidding, but I do think that this will make the transitions smoother)


	23. Persistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through unknown means, Zarkon has been tracking Team Voltron across the galaxy, whether it be through his ro-beasts or battle cruisers, and now he's taking the fight to them. Exhausted, Team Voltron runs to the far stretches of the galaxy, but will they manage to escape the Galra dictator's grasp? And what will it cost?

My pulse doesn’t take long to match  the same pace as the flashing, angry sirens on the bridge as we stare up at the massive, diamond shape of Zarkon’s flag ship. 

_ The big guy himself just showed up. The whole damn thing. No doubt with entire fleets within.  _

_ Oh,  _ **_fuck._ **

“How did he find us?!” Allura cries, her eyes flown wide as she stares up at the ship. 

Keith immediately answers with an edge of worry and warning, “His commanders must’ve radioed him from Olkarion!”

I flash a glare over my shoulder at the group with a deep growl of righteousness blooming in my chest, “I  _ told  _ y’all they were going to get reinforcements!”

“We need to wormhole, now!” Shiro barks, turning to us and subsequently ripping our collective gaze away from the looming, Galra specter, “Get to your stations! We’ve got to get some distance between us and Zarkon!” 

Like the drop of a dime our exhaustion evaporates, replaced entirely with flurried adrenaline as we fly to our seats. As soon as I land in my chair the ship immediately lurches with a loud  _ boom,  _ and we all brace ourselves until the Castle recovers to its equilibrium. I frantically tap my holographic panel, but I have exactly zero idea at what I’m supposed to do “at my station.” In my lion I’ve started to understand my controls, but here I’ve done nothing but tap in my commands to launch. There are these various bar graphs behind it but I never bothered to look at them before now.  _ Time to learn fast _ . 

When my hologram opens, with the edges flashing red, there are various bar graphs at different levels and I praise all that’s holy that it’s in English. Clearly printed above the set of bar graphs is “Power Divergence.”  _ Okay, so I control where the power goes.  _ There are 5 bars, one for the particle barrier, another for thrusters, another for the wormhole generator, general power, and then finally utilities.  _ Okay so here is where the power can go. Okay. _ Thinking fast, I figure after that blast that we need to divert power into the particle barrier. 

With a brilliant flash, a holographic image of the Castle appears to my right-hand side. The rear end of the Castle, by the Yellow Lion’s hanger, is flashing yellow, with a warning label overtop that reads “Minor Structural Damage.”  _ Okay, we took damage but nothing too bad yet.  _ A notification pops up on the right, “Particle Barrier Enabled -Coranic.” 

I look up to see the light blue cage encompassing the Castle protectively, nearly blocking out Zarkon’s black shadow out the window of the bridge, but no sooner does the particle barrier activate does a horde of fighter jets swell into space between us and Zarkon like wasps leaving a hive to descend down upon us. Their little violet lights firing down upon our barrier swallow the stars, there is only the clash of blue and purple light. 

Hunk swallows from his place to the far left, his voice is shaking as the cascade of violet descends, “That’s sure a lot of fighters!”

“Allura!” Shiro cries as he types commands into his console, “Can you evade these fighters? We can’t have them following us through the wormhole!”

“I can try!” She barks in return, pressing her hands to her controls and immediately I feel the thrusters of the Castle fire at full power, blasting us through empty space. I tap my panel again and alter the power divergence to sustain the thrusters and the particle barrier, as much as I think is feasible as I can’t divert  _ everything _ after all. But, apparently, that’s all that my station is in charge of is this diveying of power, or I at least I think so, as I don’t see any tabs.  _ I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. Why am I in charge of this? Fuck, we’re gonna fucking die because I don’t know how to use my panel.  _

“Keith, Lance, let’s lay down some cover fire!” Shiro commands from the front, and when I risk a glance up I see something like a steering wheel rising up in front of him. His holographic screen has altered to a camera angle from the Castle’s tail, zoning in on the fighters that are giving chase. I jolt when another notification pops up rather violently on the right side of my hologram,  _ ‘Particle Barrier at 85%’  _

“We should get out of here pretty soon!” I cry over the loud thunder of the oncoming fire and the roar of the Castle’s thrusters, “The Particle Barrier’s strength is falling with every hit!” 

“Lance, fighter above you, 12 o’clock high!” Pidge snaps from my left, speaking so fast that she’s barely coherent. 

Lance seems to understand her just fine, answering with a voice of intense focus, “Got it!” I narrow my gaze at the bar graphs, watching the flux between the thrusters and particle barrier,  _ I can’t evenly distribute them like this if we’re gonna get out of here, but which one is more important?  _ “Hey!” Lance’s sharp, indignant cry cuts into my thoughts, and I look up to see him glaring at the back of Keith’s head where he sits to my right.

Keith doesn’t look up, his hands gripped on the steering wheel before his seat, “Sorry, gotta be quick!” 

“How’s  _ that  _ for quick?!” Lance snaps indignantly, and I can see his jerking reaction on the steering wheel out of my peripheral as I peer down at another notification.  _ ‘Particle Barrier at 65%’ _

Keith growls in annoyance, turning with a look towards Lance that’s so sharp it almost makes me wince  _ “You..!” _

“Knock it off you two, stay in your zones!” Shiro barks from the front, his gaze never leaving the video feed coming off his screen. Baby blue light launches from whatever weapon he’s piloting, bombarding against the wall of violet and black fighters that outnumber the stars. 

“Yeah,  _ Keith! _ ” Lance snaps antagonistically. 

“Keep calling out those fighters, Pidge!” Shiro cuts him off before they can get started again and out of my peripheral I see him risk a glance over his shoulder at Hunk to my left, “Hunk, how are the defenses holding?” 

Hunk makes a groaning sound, and I glance over at him to see him rubbing his eyes. I can’t help but snap, “Dude, are you  _ seriously  _ sleeping right now?!” 

“Am not!” Hunk snaps back with his hackles raised, peering at his holographic panel with narrowed eyes as he grumbles, “I don’t know, I can’t tell, everything’s a blur, I’ve been up too long, I have tired eyes!” 

“I know we just came out from an intense battle yesterday, but we’ve gotta stay focused, just until we jump!” Shiro answers in a surprisingly pragmatic tone despite how pressed his voice is. 

“And when is that?” Keith cuts in, his tone’s surprisingly cool under the collar. 

“Particle Barrier’s at 50%!” I shout from the back, quickly moving on without further ado, “I’d have to divert power from the thrusters to reinforce it any more!”

“They’re still too close!” Coran cries from the front, his hands floundering between two different holograms, “We need to gain more speed! Divert power from the barrier to the thrusters and hope that it’s enough!” 

I follow his orders without question, sliding the bar for the particle barrier down while pushing the bar for the thrusters up. I jolt as the Castle presses faster, like we’re in a race car that’s hurtling down a highway, but I manage to keep sitting upright to make minor adjustments at the flux between power cycles that occur. Or, at least, that’s what it looks like.  _ Fuck, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but it seems like I’m doing okay for the moment- _

“I’ve got an idea!” Allura cries, leaning forward against the pillars pressed to her palms, “Hold on!” The Castle hums in power as it blasts forward, I drop the particle barrier down to bare bones function to follow the Princess’ propulsion. The Castle lurches as we pick up speed and I grab onto the arm of my chair to stay in place. 

When I peer up through the glass beyond the faded blue netting surrounding the ship, I spot the rapidly approaching form of a planet. Not Olkarion, we’ve passed it by now, but it must be a planetary neighbor or a moon.

“Allura, what are you  _ doing?! _ ” Pidge cries, turning to look at Allura with wide eyes from her seat near the front.

Allura doesn’t turn her gaze away from the rapidly approaching planet, leaning forward on her controls with a wide stance, “I’m going to use this moon’s gravity to gain speed and put some distance between us and Zarkon!” 

I look down at the composition again and fully deactivate the particle barrier, pushing up the bar so that all remaining power went to the thrusters. The Castle begins to turn, looping around the planet, and I have to grab onto the arm rests of my chair with both hands to keep from flying out of my seat, the sheer speed we’re going makes it feel like I’m on a rollercoaster without a seatbelt. 

From the front, Coran’s voice is high pitched with anxiety, “We’re clear to wormhole!” 

Allura straightens from the center, and all of a sudden with a massive  _ boom _ a portal rips open before us. We fly straight through it without slowing down, and as the portal closes behind us the entire Castle seems like it’s about to shake apart at the violent jerking from within. The swirling blue and black of the wormhole tunnel casts the bridge in eerie light as we all struggle to hang on, but even though the portal had closed, the red, blaring alarms on the Castle haven’t faded. 

I’m not the only one who notices, as Lance cries with a lilted voice of anxiety from my right, “We got away from Zarkon, how come we’re still on alert?!”

Shiro lifts his head from where he’s braced at his station ahead of me, commanding, “Coran, what’s going on?”

“Oh no!” Coran wails, and even from back here I can see his hands flying across his holographic panel, “Teludav lens malfunction!”

“What does that  _ mean?! _ ” I shout from the back over the din of the alarms, I nearly keel forward as the Castle pitches from within the wormhole. 

“It means we’re about to exit this wormhole a lot sooner than we planned!” Coran cries in response, and with a sudden, loud, thundering snap a hole opens in the wormhole in the tunnel’s center. We pass through it at breakneck speed, and once everything quits shaking as bad I turn down the power to the thrusters, easing away from the wormhole exit. 

The Castle stills, floating through space at a far less frantic speed. I can now finally let go of my seat with a sigh of relief. When we peer ahead through the glass we can see no signs of any Galra. It’s empty space, with no planet or moon or anything in sight, save for what looks like to be several floating icebergs, fragments of ice and snow floating like discarded props from the Titanic II. They’re curved into shapes I’ve never seen, like loose shavings from a pencil sharpener, gathered in dense, circular clusters in patches throughout the space before us, and no doubt more around us.

“Whoa,” Lance stands from his seat to my right, a hand perched on his panel as he stares with wide eyes out at the glass, “Where are we? Looks like some sort of iceberg graveyard…”

“Coran, what’s the status?” The tone of Allura’s voice pulls my vision away from the glass and to her. She sounded… exhausted, and now that I’m looking at her I can see her hands are pressed so heavily against her controls that that’s probably all that’s keeping her upright, her feet are braced on the ground in the same wide stance that probably kept her from getting thrown around during our turbulent flight. 

“Checking on that now!” Coran chirps in response. I quickly stand up from my seat and push my holographic panel to the side, but immediately my legs begin to wobble uncontrollably. I grab onto the back of my chair to steady myself as Coran continues, “Well, we didn’t make it to our exit point, but we’re about a galaxy or two away from Olkarion, and Zarkon’s fleet. Fortunately, there is nothing around to see us in this quadrant, so we shouldn’t face any fear of him sneaking up on us again!” 

Allura lets out a noise from her place in the center when all of a sudden she abruptly falls backwards. Immediately the bridge stills at the soft  _ thump  _ of Allura’s fall, and from the front Coran immediately whirls with wide, worried eyes as he gasps, “Allura!” The shakiness in my legs practically evaporates in worry as I approach Allura, who sits on the floor with her hands holding her up. 

“Oh, no, you look exhausted!” Coran murmurs in a parental tone, kneeling before her with a deep, worried frown. Allura doesn’t answer, she doesn’t even move, merely leaning against her arms with her eyes closed like she’s at a school assembly and will fall asleep at any moment.  _ So, we’re not the only ones who are tired. What has she been up to since the party last night that wore her out so? _

“You must rest,” Coran continues in the same comforting tone, one arm propped on his knee as he peers at Allura. I rest a hand on her shoulder, but she doesn’t react, I can feel her breath beneath my fingertips. Coran sighs, “You’ve been exerting  _ far _ too much energy.” 

Allura’s eyes finally open as Coran leaps back to his feet, the sudden movement whirling sweat drops outwards like a shaking dog, “I’ll go check on the main turbine and see what’s going ooO _ OaAH-! _ ” We blink and turn with wide eyes as Coran slips, gliding forward like he’s on ice and face planting directly into the wall beside the exit. 

If I wasn’t so tired and worried, I think I would’ve laughed ridiculously hard.

“Whoa, Coran, you alright?” Lance asks with wide eyes as Coran takes a startled step back from the wall, and when he turns to face us I can see he has a sizable red welt on his forehead… covered in the slickest sheen of sweat that I’ve ever seen to the point that it doesn’t even look like a sheen, more like he has an centimeter thick exterior of sweat encompassing his entire person. 

Coran touches his head with a groan before he realizes we’re all staring at him, instead he quickly perches an arm on the wall with a grin, “Oh, I’m fine! Look, I, I tell you what, I probably just hit a slick spot on the ground right here-“ Coran gestures to the floor at his feet, which I can see that there’s a sizable puddle beneath his feet and only getting added to by the second at the amount of slippery, almost viscous sweat that’s dripping off of Coran in bullets.  _ Okay, that’s  _ **_definitely_ ** _ not normal. And kind of disgusting. _

Coran suddenly leaps up like he’s affronted by the puddle’s presence, pointing at it with indignation and furrowed eyebrows. “Someone, please, wipe that up there!” 

My hand on Allura’s shoulder shifts as she turns, I release her as she moves to better face Coran. She tilts her head as she crosses her legs like a kindergartener at story time, and when she speaks to Coran the exhaustion is practically tangible in her voice, “You’re sweating…” She rubs her eyes, her arms resting on her knees as she speaks in a more typical tone, like she realized how tired she sounded at first and is trying to hide it, “You might have a case of the slipperies.” 

Before we can even question what _that_ is, Coran immediately flares defensively, “What? No! No, no, that’s an _old person_ virus, and I’m not old! I’m young!” As he waves his arms ropes of viscous sweat go flying around him like he’s at a waterworks show, I watch as Lance takes a step back to avoid getting hit by one and bumping into Keith in his rush to escape. They end up glaring at each other as Coran laughs uncomfortable, “Well, uh… young-ish! Point is, I don’t have it!” He crosses his arms, indignant at the very proposition. Now as I examine him closely it looks like he’s practically in a bubble of fluid, but it isn’t like the normal sweat I had seen him before. Now it’s viscous, like lube (of all things), and clings to objects and itself alike. It seriously looks like Coran fell into a vat of sticky lube and I can’t tell if that’s hilarious or disgusting. 

Lance and Keith seem to be finished glaring at each other as Lance turns to Allura with a curious expression, “What’re the slipperies?”

Allura answers in a matter of fact, if delicate, tone as she regards Coran, “It’s a common Altean virus that occurs… later in life.” Coran opens his mouth as if to argue but loses his footing in the slippery puddle he is creating and growing. He slides slowly to the right side of the bridge like he’s a listless buoy on snow as Allura continues, “It’s not harmful, and usually only lasts a day or two, but it causes one’s body to excrete extremely slick fluid.” Coran takes a step to the right to delicately escape the puddle, but no sooner does he touch down does the fluid encompassing his body drip and create another where he’s standing. 

“Ew!” Hunk groans with a hand over his mouth as his gaze slides to the puddle trails on the floor.

Pidge slaps a hand over her own mouth with a green expression as she gasps, “Oh,  _ gross _ .” 

“Yes!” Coran’s voice cracks as he twists his head to the side, “It is gross! So it’s a good thing I don’t have it!” I watch as sweat drips from his hair to the floor, leaving a long trail behind it and immediately I get the cold, gooseflesh feeling on the back of my neck like I’m about to throw up.

Pidge takes a few steps away and rushes over to her chair with a green look on her face, apparently thinking the same thing as Allura speaks in a reassuring manner, “Coran, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about-”

“I’m not  _ embarrassed _ because I don’t  _ have  _ it!” Coran argues, throwing his arms out wide in response. Beneath his arms the sweat accumulates and drips to the floor like one of those fancy showers, and when Coran realizes what’s happening he snaps his arms back to his sides, “And  _ now _ , I’m going to  _ leave _ so I can fix the main  _ turbine! _ ” He turns on heel towards the door but as he attempts to step forward he slips on the puddle he’s newly created and falls onto his back, sliding to the door and down the hallway like he’s on a sled. A faint  _ “Oh, quiznak!”  _ is heard down the hall as the doors to the bridge close. 

“… Alright.” Shiro states from behind us, and we turn to him as we’re gathered around Allura as he speaks in a commanding tone, “Since Zarkon has no idea where we are, this is the perfect time to focus on our next step.” Lance and Hunk both let out such loud sighs of tiredness that I almost don’t hear what Shiro says next, “We should find that secret group, the Blade of Marmora?” He turns to look over his shoulder at Pidge’s chair, “Pidge, where are those coordinates?” 

I can see the fringes of Pidge’s wild brown hair over the lip of her chair. She’s slow to respond, her hand missing her holographic panel a few times before she’s able to bring it up in front of her, her voice lilting like she was interrupted from a deep conversation with herself, “Wait, hang on…” She types on the screen, her legs shifting up and I can see her resting her head on her knees as she mumbles like a toddler before bedtime, “I’m so tired that my brain’s not working.” 

Lance lets out a loud groan, his shoulders slumping forward, “Yeah, neither is mine.”

We all start with a jolt as a loud voice clamors over the Castle’s com system, “Hello, all! I’ve checked the engines!” 

Pidge raises an eyebrow as her hand hovers where she was typing a command into her console, “That was fast.” 

Coran’s voice crackles, “Yes, well I slipped right dowAH!” There’s a pause after a loud bang that sounded like Coran just fell onto his face before he snaps, “I mean, I  _ hurried  _ down. Anyway, the good news is that the Galra fighters and the command vessel did minimal damage, I flushed the turbine, and it’s fine. The bad news is that the teludav is in bad shape! Several scaultrite lenses of the magnifying beam generator are cracked.” 

“Teludav? Is that the thing that makes the wormholes?” I ask Coran with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yes, it’s what I believe you Earthlings called a ‘wormholer’.” Coran answers helpfully, his voice leaping in excitement, “The magnifying beam generator uses the Balmeran crystal, converting it into usable energy that supplies the power needed to wormhole, but of course you know that.” I blink stupidly at the empty space speckled with curled ice before us as Coran continues, “Well, anyway, I need to remove the cracked lenses, and readjust their angles temporarily until we can replace them. I’ll also need to divert power here to make up for the lost energy!” When met with silence, Coran adds, “Anyway, er, it’s going to take at least a quintant!”

“Alright.” Shiro nods as the transmission cuts out, turning to us individually, “We’ll hide the ship and get some rest while Coran comes up with a workaround. Tomorrow, we’ll be sharper and refocused.” 

“I freaking hope so.” Hunk responds with a loud, tired sigh as he turns towards the exit, “I’m going to bed!” As he approaches the door to the bridge, he steps in a puddle of Coran’s slippery sweat and nearly topples, waving his arms with loud yelps as he slides down the hall. 

“There goes Hunk.” I jest under my breath. 

Allura rises to her feet after a second, letting out a slow breath like the movement itself was exhausting before she turns to Pidge, who’s still sitting in her chair to our left looking positively queasy and exhausted, “Pidge, why don’t you assist Coran? I’m sure he’ll need it, even if he’s too proud to ask for it.” 

Pidge groans, loudly and dramatically. But, nonetheless, she rises and trudges to her elevator that takes her to her lion’s hanger, “ _ Fiiiiiine _ .” 

“Well, good thing I’m no good with wormholers or whatever, ‘cause I am going to get some much needed beauty sleep.” Lance cracks his knuckles over his head as he stretches, opening his eyes to peer at Allura as she re-pins her hair in a bun at the nape of her neck, “How about you, princess? Would you like an escort back t-“

“No, I’m quite fine, thank you.” Allura interrupts, albeit politely, as she turns away from Lance and touches her holographic panel at her station in the center, but just as she does Allura pauses, glancing at Lance over her shoulder before she adds with a slight upturn in her lips, “However, I heard through the turblum that you’re a swimmer. There’s a pool on the fourth floor that may interest you.”

I think we all blink in utter confusion at her before Lance lets out a gasp, “There’s a  _ pool  _ here?! How is this the first time I’m hearing about this?!” 

“Well, now I know where  _ I’m  _ going.” Keith smirks, crossing his arms from beside Shiro. 

I try my damn hardest  _ not  _ to imagine Keith in trunks as Lance whirls to him with narrowed eyes, “Oh hell no, Allura told me about it so I call dibs!” 

As they begin bickering, I turn to duck out of the bridge. About a half hour ago I wanted nothing more than to just go back to bed, but now, after  _ that  _ heart attack, I doubt I’ll be able to lie down without twitching in anxiety. As I’m about to pass through the doors, I spy my guitar I’d made on Olkarion, pressed against the far wall, no doubt where it ended up after our turbulent flight.  _ Wow, perfect distraction. _ I snatch it up on my way out, pulling it over my shoulder. 

As I walk back to my room I play, strumming the strings with my fingertips and snapping up chords and filling the cavernous halls with the sound, and it’s  _ glorious.  _ The acoustics are  _ nice,  _ damn near everywhere I walk it echoes  _ really  _ well.  _ Or maybe I just really missed playing.  _ I head towards my room, intending to lay in bed and play there until I can get relaxed enough to sleep, but as I tread down the hall I see Hunk’s door open but with no light from within. I blink as I walk by, calling before I peer within, “Hey Hunk, you there?” With no response, I approach and peek inside, but it’s devoid of any Hunk. 

I’d never been inside of Hunk’s room, but I am a little surprised at how clean it is, and…  _ charming.  _ He’s moved his bed out to be pushed against the far wall, and in the space where it once was, lined with shelves in the pocket in the wall, has been morphed into a workspace much like Pidge’s with a tabletop surface coming out from the wall at about waist height with a bunch of papers scattered and stacked all across it, but from here I can’t see what’s on them. His dresser is moved to the right side with a pile of what looks like paper, and a white, Altean box filled with long, black, pencil shaped sticks, but the truly best part is that all around the top of his room are the string lights from the Olkari party, illuminating his room a soft golden-yellow in a very Christmas-y appeal.  _ Aww, he got those from the party? I forgot in all the bustle to get some of the cool Voltron swag they had… _

Like I said, charming, but there’s no Hunk in sight. 

Not wanting to pry, I close the door from the outside and turn in place.  _ He probably went to the kitchen for some food… Come to think of it, I would really like some company. Especially with someone who won’t interrogate me about Keith. He still might, but I think he’s too polite to ask about it up front, but… I also don’t really know Hunk all that well. Shiro, Pidge, Lance, Keith, we’ve all had our bonding moments, but I haven’t really gotten to know Hunk at all. I don’t even know his real name, or where he’s from, why he went to the academy… none of it.  _

_ Yeah, we’re gonna bond, and the best way to do that is to ambush him while he’s eating… but not before I get a fucking shower and fresh clothes.  _ I stride towards my room, leaning down and giving my suit an experimental whiff, but immediately I regret the decision.  _ Oh yeah, shower is definitely in order.  _

I set my guitar aside, leaning by the doorway, and rifle through my drawers for some comfy clothes. Luckily, almost all of the Altean clothes that Allura got for us are pretty great candidates, even though all of mine are  _ white, like seriously, I already look like a chess pawn in my Voltron suit, I don’t need to look like one all the fucking time. I have to trade with the others sometime.  _ I grab a random white shirt-gray pants combo and my flannel where it’s draped over my dresser and head to the showers. I leave the door to the showers open, taking no more than five minutes within before hightailing it back out again to get dressed before going to seek out Hunk in the kitchens. 

As I approach the kitchen, a smell wafts down the hall, like the heady aroma of fresh baked cookies but with the actual sharp scent of superglue, only getting stronger the closer to the kitchen I got. When I arrive and open the doors, the smell hits me over the head to the point I have to take a moment and not get light headed. 

“Oh, hey Will!” Hunk grins at me where he stands on the other side of the counter. He’s wearing a white apron over an orange Henley and cargo pants, and as he turns his head the ribbon over his forehead ripples in a wave behind him as he pulls a pan from a section of the wall that looks like an Altean oven. He’s duel wielding light blue oven mitts, and as he pulls the pan from the wall he sets it on the countertop, where I see now there is a second pan just like it. On these pans are shaped just like really large cookies but they look like they’re made of incredibly thick glass. There are several white and blue bowls with gooey, dark blue, putty-like substances within them sitting together on one end of the counter and littered around of them is a tall brown box and a smaller white box, both covered in Altean letters. 

“You’re…?” I tilt my head to the side in confusion, but before I can question what exactly is happening here the door behind me opens and Pidge breezes past, a look on her face like she just had to eat a live spider, but she too pauses when she sees Hunk’s glue-glass cookie things on the counter. Hunk wordlessly turns and pushes another pan into the oven-looking hole in the wall, and finally Pidge and I are able to find our voices again. 

“Aren’t you exhausted?” I asks incredulously. 

Pidge hops up onto the counter beside one of the pans as she tacks on with, “Yeah, why’re you making cookies?” 

Hunk returns to the counter and picks up the fresh pan he just pulled out, setting it onto the countertop closest to him as he sighs, his voice surprisingly tense, “Because baking clears my head, okay?” Pidge shrugs and picks up the small, cell phone shaped white box that rests on the counter, perhaps the mixture that Hunk is using for the cookies. 

I move to lean on my elbows beside her as Hunk rests his mitted hands on his hips, “I thought you were supposed to help Coran with the wormholer?” 

Pidge doesn’t look up from the box, which is entirely in Altean, as she mutters, “One mention of the slipperies and he got all sensitive and kicked me out.” She flips the box over with a deeper frown, and lets out a sigh, “I hate not being able to read Altean. What is this stuff?” 

I blink in surprise, leaning one hip on the counter to peer over her shoulder, “Wait a minute, you can’t read Altean? How have you been able to use the Castle’s computer systems so well?” 

Pidge blinks at me stupidly, “It’s in English.” 

I blink back at her with equal stupidity, “… But… whenever we’re doing stuff there’s like… those symbols all the way across that… they  _ look  _ like Altean…” 

“Are you talking about coded figures?” Pidge asks with a raised eyebrow, and both her and Hunk are now looking at me like I’m an idiot,  _ what do you mean you don’t know coded figures.  _

I raise my hands in defeat, “Sorry, all alphabet letters that aren’t English are completely foreign to me. The only other language I’ve ever learned is elvish and, you know,  _ that’s  _ useful.” I jab at myself playfully with a lilted grin.

Pidge sets the box she was looking at down, so I pick it up to examine it myself. It has no helpful pictures, figures, or anything to indicate what exactly it’s supposed to be, just Altean symbols. I glance up at Hunk with a raised eyebrow, “You sure this is food?” 

Hunk meets my gaze with an incredulous expression, holding up one of the glass cookies and peering through one like it’s a telescope, “You gonna try to tell me that  _ these  _ aren’t cookies?” 

He opens his mouth and bites on the cookie. The sound, like clinking of glasses, resonates from his mouth and immediately he drops the cookie back to the pan with a hand over his mouth. Both Pidge and I watch with wide eyes as he turns and plants a hand on the wall, kicking it while making barely contained, pained groaning sounds and pressing his forehead into his arm. When he returns to face us he has both of his hands, clenched into fists, planted on either side of the pan as he keeps his lips closed over his teeth, “Okay… I might have overcooked them.”

Pidge rolls her eyes with an exhausted look and jumps off the counter, heading towards the exit while trudging her feet. Hunk blinks and calls after her, “Hey, where you going? Not gonna stay for the next batch?” 

The door closes behind Pidge, and Hunk frowns in a crestfallen manner as he peers down at the glass cookies. 

“Sorry, I’ll have to pass on the overcooked ones.” I murmur with a slight grin. Hunk gives me an amicable grin in response. 

“Aren’t you tired, too?” Hunk asks as he turns to touch the oven’s controls on the wall next to the oven itself, which I now notice is humming softly as it bakes the glass maybe cookies within. 

I shrug in response, peering down and picking at my fingernails idly, “Yeah, but that whole business with Zarkon woke me up real quick.” 

“Yeah.” Hunk lets out a soft sigh, and I look up as he hops up onto the countertop beside me. He pulls off his oven mitts and sets them aside, his eyebrows furrowed in a distracted gaze as he leans his elbows on his knees, “Okay, Will, can I ask you something?” 

I turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow, resting my hip on the counter, “Hit me.”

“Does this whole thing, like, saving the universe and all that… does it freak you out?” 

I blink at Hunk stupidly, “Dude, of course it does. I’d have to be a psychopath for this not to freak me the fuck out.” I straighten a little and lean against the counter. I force a lackadaisical grin on my face as I keep talking in a tone that I keep purposefully light, “I mean, I almost died like… twice? Twice is it?” 

“It’s been three times, actually.” Hunk answers in such a surprisingly dark tone that I pause, peering at him more closely to see him looking at me just as close, his eyebrows are drawn together with gentle scrutiny like he’s looking for something in my gaze.

I blink at him with confusion as he twiddles his thumbs in his lap, his gaze dropping down with a soft sigh, “I don’t know, it’s… It’s just been so scary from day one, you know?” Hunk huffs, his shoulders sagging as he returns his gaze to me with a surprisingly soft eyes, “Like, when Sendak took over, I was with Coran to get the Balmera crystal. I met Shay, and the Balmerans, and it was just…” He clenches his fist a little on his knee, like he’s clutching something small as he continues in a tighter voice, “Serving Zarkon was all they knew. You know, they’d never seen the surface before? They hadn’t even ever seen the  _ sun  _ before. Just before we left after the big battle I sat with Shay and she just…” Hunk gestures vaguely to an imaginary horizon, his eyes elsewhere as he speaks, “She asked me what the sunrise was. She just pointed to it and was just like,…  _ ‘what’s that?’ _ Like… how horrible is it to have never seen a sunrise before?” 

I nod to Hunk in understanding as he lets out a loud breath, “Zarkon’s horrible, that’s not in doubt, but it just really scares me how he’s able to just… put people under his heels like that, you know?” He looks at me with an increasingly worried gaze, “Lance is always talking about ‘when we go home,’ and stuff like that, but the more I think about it, the more I think that we’re not gonna ever make it home.” His voice grows quieter and more subdued, his gaze now glued to his hands. “Even with Voltron, which is like super powerful no doubt, but he’s just… I can’t imagine that that’s gonna be easy.” 

“Yeah,” I murmur in response, peering at Hunk as he stares at his hands, “It’s not gonna be. But we’ve got this far, right?” Hunk quirks a slight smile, and I gently nudge his shoulder with my elbow as I shift to perch next to him, “It’s gonna suck, it’s gonna be scary and weird and who knows what’ll happen, but what I do know is that we’re in it together.” Hunk merely shrugs, his eyes never leaving his hands, and I can’t help breaking out into a bit of a grin, “Like my Shiro impersonation?” 

Hunk outright laughs at the drop of a dime, throwing his head back and clapping his knee before he wheezes, “Ah, I was just gonna say that!” 

I grin and laugh alongside him for a minute before I nudge him again, “I don’t know about you, but I really don’t wanna think about that right now.” I pause, leaning my elbow on my knee with my chin in my hand as I peer at Hunk, “So, why don’t you tell me about you instead?”

Hunk raises an eyebrow at me curiously, “Like what?” 

I shrug, pulling on a slight grin, “Well for starters, where’d the nickname Hunk come from?” 

Hunk blinks at me for a few solid seconds before he shrugs, “Well, it is my name.” Before I can question him further, he waves me off a little with a slight grin, “Well, technically my full name is Hukana, but that’s just really weird for people to pronounce, it’s super traditional, so everyone just calls me Hunk.” 

I tilt my head to the side, raising an eyebrow at Hunk curiously, “Traditional? To who?” 

“… Polynesians.” Hunk replies after a beat of hesitation with another lackadaisical shrug, twiddling his thumbs in his hands but he doesn’t seem to want to elaborate further. 

“… Are you Polynesian?” I ask in as polite a tone as possible, looking at Hunk with a raised eyebrow before mumbling, “Sorry, if this is personal for you-“

“No, it’s okay.” Hunk interrupts with a hurried tone, glancing at me with a wave of his hands like he was trying to settle a raging toddler, “I just… don’t really talk about it much.” He mutters as his hands return to his lap.

“Why?” I press gently, shifting to perch a foot on the counter beneath me with my hands on my knees to keep my balance, trying my best to not look at him too closely and make him retreat from the personal questions.  _ After trying to get to know Keith, I think I’m eventually gonna be a master at getting people to divulge their backstories. _

“I dunno, people don’t usually ask, I guess. It’s not really something that comes up naturally, and I don’t really feel the need to drop it, you know?” Hunk answers in a relaxed tone that sounds suspiciously forced, before waving me off within the second, “I don’t know, people always just ask me questions about it, like what the tattoos mean and all that other cultural stuff but it never really meant anything to me.” Hunk pauses and taps his forefingers together with a pensive look, “I grew up just outside of Honolulu, and that was kind of the place in between, with the people in the city that act like Lance, and Pidge, but outside the city everybody acts like… well, like my dad.” Hunk pauses, his gaze firmly planted on his shoes dangling off the counter, “I… I mean, I don’t know, I just don’t feel like that it should define all of who I am, I guess.” Hunk stops, trailing off as he instead bites his lip, like he just said something he wasn’t supposed to. 

“Okay.” I reply softly, shifting instead to cross my legs on top of the counter. “Who are you, then?” 

Hunk blinks at me like I just asked him who the cabinet members are. “… What do you mean?” 

“Like,” I shrug, waving my hands enigmatically, “Who do you think you are? Who’s Hunk?”

Hunk peers down at the ground, shrugging a little with a hand now anxiously straightening his pants leg, “I guess… I don’t know, that’s such an intense question.” Hunk grins a little and glances at me, but looks away again as he raises his hands in his lap, “I really like to fix things.” Hunk flexes his fingers, peering at me out of the corner of his slanted eyes like he’s afraid to look at me dead on, “I was at the Garrison to be a space engineer, fixing the ships and stuff. It just seemed really cool, like, the tech was so advanced and I really wanted to be a part of what was going on, you know? I really like to do stuff that I’m good at, and what I’m good at is fixing stuff and doing math. But, not like, Pidge math, more like quantum mechanics math.” 

Hunk shrugs again, then gestures over his shoulder at the baking glass cookies, “And I bake, as you know. Oh  _ man _ , I  _ love  _ baking.” Hunk’s eyes immediately light up, his lips drawing back into a wide grin as he waves his hands animatedly over at the oven before us, “My mom used to always say that making food for people is how you share your love with the world, even though it’s such a small thing, like… no one can be upset or angry on a full stomach, so food is like a bridge that can bring people together.” 

I raise an eyebrow in amusement and smile at Hunk, “She sounds like a smart lady.” 

“She’s  _ so  _ smart.” Hunk enthuses immediately, turning to me with a toothy grin, “If I were half as brave as she is, I think I could take on Zarkon face to face without breaking a sweat.” 

We both share a soft laugh, but before any of us could say anything further the oven lets out a sharp dinging noise like a bell being hit against the wall. Hunk leaps off the counter and pulls his oven mitts back on, raising an eyebrow at me curiously, “Sorry, I hope that didn’t get too heavy or personal, or-”

“Hunk, you’re  _ so  _ fine.” I quickly wave him off, smiling at him warmly, “I love learning more about you.”

Hunk turns away but not before I spot the secretive smile that stretches across his warm, broad features. Just as he pulls the cookies from the oven, suddenly the room begins flashing with intermittent, violently pulsing red light. Loud alarms in the hallway ring in blaring intervals, and as Hunk and I both look at each other with wide eyes the entire Castle jolts, metal groaning as the room rocks like we’re in a train car. Hunk drops the pan of cookies on the floor as we both grab onto the counter to keep from falling, the shrieking break of the glass cookies on the floor heard even over the blaring alarms. Once the shaking passes, Hunk frowns down at the broken glass cookies that now scatter the floor, “Aww man, that was the best batch yet!”

“Something must be wrong.” I gasp, and without another word I grab Hunk’s wrist and haul him out of the kitchen. Despite the loss of cookies Hunk follows after me immediately, and together we sprint to the bridge. 

“-Found us again?! How is that possible?! Is that possible?! That doesn’t seem possible!” Lance’s voice, high with anxiety, is heard over the din of the alarms as Hunk and I burst onto the bridge. I look out the glass and spy the particle barrier is already up, and outside of it bright flashes of violet light are striking against it at regular intervals. A dark, familiar, blackness in the shape of an X hovers beyond a sheath of ice we were sheltered behind, glowering upon us with volleys of purple fire.  _ What the fuck? He’s found us  _ **_again_ ** _?! _

I slide into my seat without delay and frantically tap my holographic panel. The energy level, the big bar at the top that is then distributed into the little bars, or at least that’s what I think it is,  _ oh God, I am out of my element _ , it’s shorter than last I saw. All available power is going to the particle barrier. 

In front of me. Pidge’s elevator opens as she flies into her place in the front left and Allura, who stands in the center with the will of a statue snaps in a commanding tone, “Right now we must figure out a way to get out of here!” 

“Or-“ Keith’s voice calls from my right, and when I glance over I’m surprised that instead of his armor all I can see is bare shoulders and a towel around his neck. I can’t see the rest, but that’s definitely one of those towels from the showers- “We can stay and fight. Now’s our chance!” Keith turns to us as a majority with a glance over his shoulder as if searching for support, his gaze is set and fiery, “Form Voltron, enough running!”

“It’s too dangerous!” Allura answers sharply with a glance over her shoulder as her hands flurry across the holographic panels before her. 

Shiro’s voice from where he’s seated in the front cuts into the dull, ever present thrum of fire upon the particle barrier, “Allura’s right,” Shiro states, his words fast and choppy, “We can’t take on Zarkon and his entire fleet. Remember what happened at Zarkon’s command center last time? We wouldn’t have escaped if the Blade of Marmora hadn’t shut down the shield.”

“The main turbine’s up!” Coran’s voice suddenly cries over the com so loudly I jolt, fixing my gaze back down to my screen as the power immediately fluctuates wildly. I touch the bars to reinforce the particle barrier with the newfound power as Coran continues in a high volume tone, “I’m still working on the wor-OR-!” A loud thud resonates over the loudspeakers, and I can only assume it’s because Coran slipped and fell over himself while he was talking as he lets out a whine, “Uh, guys… I think I’m realizing now that I do, in fact, have a case of the slipperies.” We’re all silent for a beat in confusion as Coran continues with a more defeated tone, “I’m sorry I yelled at you Pidge,” Coran whimpers, “I may need your help after all.”

Pidge rises from her chair with a determined look and shouts, “I’m coming down!” 

As Pidge races from the room the Castle groans as a particularly large blast strikes the side. I pull up the particle barrier’s strength ratios as Shiro orders, “Let’s clear a path! Keith, Lance, cover our tails!” Allura slams her hands onto the controls and the thrusters roar to life as the Castle blasts through space, turning away from the looming black shadow before us and hightailing it the opposite direction. The particle barrier’s main defenses were activated in the front and right side of the ship, where we weren’t backed to ice, and now that we’re racing away from the vessel,  _ all fire will be at our tail _ . I minimize the power to the particle barrier but focus all the remaining power to the back end of the ship, protecting us from any fire with minimal power to the particle barrier while I immediately power the thrusters with that made up energy. But, as the seconds tick by, the main power bar begins to dwindle by inches, soon we’ll have to choose particle barrier  _ or  _ thrusters. We blast forward at renewed pace, and through my thoughts I hear Keith shouting, “Lance, there’s a fighter advancing on your nine!”

“Thanks for the heads up. And you’ve got one going for the lower barrier!” Lance barks back as Keith responds in kind, “Good eye!”

The thudding of oncoming fire noticeably diminishes as we hurtle through empty space, but when I check our rear cameras I can still see Zarkon’s massive vessel, surrounded with little red and violet dots of his entourage of fighters, still  _ frighteningly  _ close on our tail. “Oh yeah buddy, you’re mine!” I can hear Lance’s wicked grin from here before he lets out an indignant shout, “What the- What’s going on? I lost control of my defense drone!”

“I got you covered!” Keith shouts before his voice immediately trails off, “Oh, I… don’t got you. There must be a system failure.” He glances over his shoulder at me with a raised eyebrow and I shake my head in response with my hands raised in surrender, “Wasn’t me!” 

“Nope, that was us!” Pidge’s voice comes over the com, and to my right a small holographic image of Pidge pops up, in where I can assume is the engine room. Behind her, Coran is sliding back and forth like he’s in an ice rink, and skating badly, as Pidge shouts, “We’re diverting power from non-essential systems to get the wormhole generator working!” 

Lance stands up from his seat to my right, and I see now that he also has a towel around his neck, and he’s in nothing but blue trunks as he shouts, “Shooting bad guys is pretty essential!” 

Hunk’s words are so rapid I almost don’t catch them as he barks, “We’ve lost secondary controls! Thermal regulators offline!” No sooner does he speak does my screen angrily flicker, and I watch without touching it as the power from all systems, save for one small tick for life support, divert completely to a new column on my left, labeled “TEGE”. The thrusters die out, hurtling us through space at a consistent speed but unable to grow faster, it fills the bridge with eerie silence save for the red flashing lights overhead. 

I blink and immediately relay the info, “Particle Barrier’s offline! Literally every fiber of power in the Castle’s in the wormholer, now’s your chance if you’re gonna get it going!” I turn to the hologram of Pidge and Coran, where they flurry with unseen controls off screen.

There’s a moment of disturbing quiet until finally Coran cries, “Okay, try it! We should be able to make one very small jump… I hope!”

Allura’s grip on her pillar controls tightens as she loosens her shoulders, and after a second of bated breath a thundering  _ boom  _ shakes the Castle as a wormhole rips open before us. We let out a collective breath of relief as Shiro shouts, “The wormhole’s open!” 

The force of our trajectory sends us flying into the wormhole so fast that one minute we’re outside, and the next we’re halfway through the violently rattling tunnel. 

I grab onto the arm of my seat to hang on as Coran lets out a disheartened noise from his holographic image to my right, “Oh no! The lenses are breaking down even more! We’ll be out of the wormhole even sooner this time!”

As he speaks the wormhole tunnel abruptly ends, and as we pull through we enter a new point in space. 

In front of us I see what looks like a massive, cone shaped sandstorm tornado, hovering through space with floating pieces of meteor ripping around it like debris in a tsunami. We’re fortunately at a safe distance, it’s pretty far ahead, but even from here it appears pretty violent and dangerous. But for now, all that matters is that we have a moment to just  _ breathe _ . We sit in silence for a long time, and I lean back against my seat and close my eyes, releasing the pulsing adrenaline that shocked through my blood as soon as the alarms sounded. For the first time in a while, my thoughts are quiet.

Shiro breaks the silence, and we open our eyes to peer at him as he rises from his seat, his teeth bared, “Zarkon keeps finding us.” He pauses as he turns to look at us, his expression is dark and unreadable as he lets out a pent up breath, “It’s like… he knows how to track us down.” 

Cold seizes my spine as his stormy gaze fixes on Allura, his eyebrow raised, “Maybe he planted some kind of tracking device?”

Allura frowns and shifts one hand up to one of her holographic screens on her left, and after a few deft commands she looks up to meet Shiro’s hawkish gaze, “Well it is nothing on the ship. The Castle would’ve detected any kind of tracking devices.”

Shiro sighs and turns away, touching his prosthetic hand to the back of his chair as he speaks, “Until we figure out exactly how he’s doing it, we should assume that he could show up at any minute, so stay alert.” 

Almost as if on queue, heavy breath rings through the cabin. We turn to Hunk, who has his chin rested on his chest with his eyes closed. As Hunk takes another ragged breath in, one loud enough to wake himself up as he abruptly leaps to his feet, his hands up, “ _ OoOH MAN!  _ What’s going on, what’re you guys doing, w _ hat’re you looking at?! _ ” His words slur as his eyes snap into focus, and as much as I want to be annoyed with him about it I can’t find it in me to do so. As the adrenaline fades away, it’s replaced with immediately exhaustion, and although I wasn’t  _ crazy  _ tired when we left Olkarion, after two damn near strokes at being chased down by Zarkon I could fall asleep in my chair too. 

Keith isn’t having any of it. “You woke yourself up snoring.” He states with a derisive look in his direction. 

Hunk pouts and hangs his head, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably, “… My bad.” 

Shiro sits back down in his seat and taps his holographic panel, bringing up an image of the engine room onto the big holographic screen as he states, “Coran, what’s your status? Any good news?” 

“Actually, there is a bit of good news!” I blink several times to see whether or not I’m hallucinating as I look at the holographic image on the big screen, but my eyes don’t seem to be deceiving me. Coran is… ice skating around the engine room with his viscous, slimy sweat, surprisingly gracefully in fact, with his arms behind his back. Pidge is in the background, frowning and typing at a holographic panel as Coran twists in an elegant circle, “I think I’m getting used to these slipperies! My mucus glands are working at an incredible rate!”

I cover my mouth and close my eyes, fighting down the nausea that arises from the words  _ mucus glands  _ as Shiro quickly brushes past it, “… Any good news about the  _ wormholer _ ?”

This seems to sober Coran up pretty quick. He stalls in his slime-skating and peers out at us with an immediate slump in his shoulders, “I’m afraid not. That last jump overloaded the teludav’s lenses, now even more of them are broken.” Coran slides away from the camera towards a panel in the background as he continues, “I’m going to try some readjustments to change the beam trajectory, but until then wormholing away is going to be impossible.”

In the background, Pidge blinks and suddenly pipes up, glancing over at us and pointing to her holographic screen, “Hey, there’s a giant metallic storm ahead of us. I think we can hide in the eye of the storm.” She turns to us with her finger on the panel, and from this distance I can barely make out the outward swirling motions, like that of a hurricane, and the eye resting just beneath her fingertip as she continues with growing excitement, “It should give off enough interference so that we can’t be tracked!”

Allura brings up the storm’s composition on her hologram, nodding a little to herself as Shiro lets out a soft breath, “… It’s worth a shot.”

“The storm is least powerful in the outer edge, where the cone is widest. If we go through there, we should be able to enter the eye without much of a problem.” Pidge continues as Allura rests her hands on the Castle’s controls.

Slowly, we glide towards the storm. 

Allura guides us towards the very top where the cone shape is widest, where the violent pull is supposedly much less powerful. I clutch the armrests of my seat as the Castle begins to shake from the force of the outward storm, swirling sand and rocks straight from Texas cascading across the Castle’s glass as we float with the tidal force of the storm into the center. The Castle immediately stills after a few moments as we break free of the outer rim, and in the center, the eye, is a straight pillar of empty space, from the top of the cone to the tightest circle far below. We’re surrounded on almost all sides by swirling, agitated, pieces of asteroids and sand, just like a sandstorm back on Earth; we can’t see anything when looking side to side, we can only see the stars when we look up.

Once we reach a resting place, Allura lets out a breath of relief, “Brilliant Pidge!” She taps on her holographic panel, streams of Altean flying across the hologram’s screen as Allura smiles, “We’re essentially invisible to any radar, radio waves, universal scans, or… really any other known technology.” 

We let out a breath of relief, and I rise from my seat with a hand raised, “Okay, so while we have a second to breathe, what the fuck is going on? Why is Zarkon himself personally chasing us down? And why hasn’t he before?”

All’s quiet for several minutes. Shiro turns around in his chair with his elbows rested on the back to face me, his expression’s contemplative and after a moment he replies, “Something must have changed. It’s been several days since we fought him before, so perhaps he’s received some intelligence on our position.”

I can’t help but let out a sigh and shoot Shiro a dirty look, “Like those  _ Galra  _ back on Olkarion that you told me to  _ let go? _ ” 

“Or it took him that time to catch up to us.” Keith says where he sits at the front. He twists about and rests his arms on the back of his chair as he looks at Allura, “They don’t have access to wormhole technology like we do. Olkarion’s got to be far from his central command, right?” 

Allura raises an eyebrow in thought before she nods, “It was several galaxies away, yes.”

“What’s more important right now,” Shiro interrupts, his hands braced on the back of his chair as he faces us, “Is figuring out how he’s been tracking us. Does anyone have any ideas-”

Loud, annoyingly familiar red alarms begin to blare. We all freeze with slacked jaws as the main holographic screen at the front of the ship pops up an image of the surrounding area. 

Zarkon’s command ship is now right on top of us, hovering just above and out of the reach of the metallic storm. 

“… What the  _ fuck. _ ” I breathe, staring at the image with wide eyes as swirling yellow sand and asteroid debris blocks out just about everything else from sight within our pocket. 

Pidge and Coran pop up in a secondary hologram beside the main one that illustrates Zarkon’s ship as Pidge cries, “Okay, I don’t know  _ how  _ he found us, but it definitely wasn’t with normal instruments!”

The bridge is quiet save for the dull thundering background of the surrounding storm, and after a moment’s silence Allura hangs her head and lets out a soft, horrified breath, “… It’s me.” 

We blink in utter shock at Allura as she slowly raises her head, her eyes flown wide as she stares out the glass of the Castle, “It’s been me all along! That’s how they found us on Arus!”

Suddenly the Castle shudders, and I collapse back into my seat with the force. I slide into a better position and tap my panel, and see that above us are hundreds, if not thousands of drone fighters, now firing on the ship.  _ Fuck, fuck, fuck- _

“It doesn’t matter, princess.” Shiro states firmly, turning over his shoulder to look at Allura, “We’re in this together, we’re gonna get out together.” I activate the particle barrier with all the power available with a deft swipe of my finger across the hologram.  _ Give us some time to think.  _

Hunk swallows from his place to my left, raising a hand sheepishly, “Uh, how? We’re trapped!”

Shiro frowns and points a hand out the glass, “We need to form Voltron and go through the storm.

“Through the storm?!” Lance stands up from his seat, his eyes flown wide, “What’re you, nuts?”

Hunk jumps on the anxiety bandwagon, leaping up to his feet and waving his hands about, “Yeah, what in the, what’re you, what do you mean-  _ why would we do that?! _ ”

“It’s risky, I know, but it’s our only chance.” Shiro turns to face us fully, his hands rested on the back of his seat as he gazes at each of us individually, “We go through the storm, drag the fighters through it and hopefully tear them apart, then lure Zarkon’s ship away to give Allura some time to get into open space.”

“Then what?” Allura asks with wide eyes, her hands hovering over the Castle’s controls in preparation. 

“We wormhole away.” Shiro answers in a matter of fact tone as he turns to face Pidge and Coran, who sit in the hologram at the front of the ship with wide, dumbstruck eyes as Shiro continues, “Coran, remember how you said getting the Castle to wormhole is impossible?” Coran merely blinks at Shiro, his mouth agape as Shiro states, “Well, I need you to do the impossible.” 

Shiro turns away from the hologram and snaps his fingers towards our elevators, “Get to your lions!” 

Without another word, we leap from our seats and fly to our elevator chambers to take us down to our hangers. I snatch my suit in route and pull it on while racing to my lion, leaping into the armor on my legs and sinking into my boots without strapping them while I hobble to my lion. She opens her mouth, waiting for me patiently as I race up the stairs, twisting my armguards on and when I collapse into my chair, breathing heavily, I pull my helmet on and finish strapping my boots.  _ Suiting up on the move is an art I think I’ve mastered.  _ Silver’s controls spring up with a snap, and I let out a slow breath as I slowly press my palms into them. I can feel exhaustion creeping into the corners of my mind, but the regular spikes of fear, of worry, for the Castle and for my friends hones my senses, I feel like my vision is beyond 20/20 as I peer out through the eyes of my lion and smash the button to remotely open my hanger. 

The wind from the storm rips through my hanger, if it’s even wind, I haven’t the  _ faintest  _ clue how this storm is a real thing,  _ maybe it’s like Jupiter that this storm is its own gravitational pull and its own atmosphere so that’s how it’s able to… storm it up?  _ I press on my lion’s controls and race her forward into the blinding sandstorm, weak in comparison to the raging storm around our protective pocket as Shiro cries, “Form Voltron!” 

As my lion slips out of the Castle, in my peripheral I can see the other lions zipping outward and below, under the protection of the Castle’s particle barrier. Downward descending violet fire races past and collides against the Castle’s particle barrier, and as I twist my lion downwards I immediately feel the tug of our intertwining essences. 

I close my eyes and open myself to the others, and I can feel my anxieties easing as we melt together, but as soon as it begins one essence in particular intertwines with mine so powerfully that I can tell that something here is different than before. 

One essence, that is so definite and almost  _ tangible  _ sticks out to me, and as they melt into my own some innate part of me realize that this piece… it’s Pidge, I can’t explain how but I can just  _ feel  _ that it’s her. As we mold together I immediately feel her heartbeat within my own chest just like I do when I’m with my lion, her pulse flutters with anxiety, her breath his heightened,  _ she’s thinking she hasn’t gotten her boots on yet, Coran’s going to have to rip the Balmera crystal out of the bridge and stick it into the fucking teludav to get it the power it needs- Wait is that Will? Holy shit, I can feel you, I- _

“Will…!” I open my eyes through the chest of Voltron right as Pidge gasps, and I take several deep breaths as Pidge whispers, “Will, I can… I can  _ feel  _ you.” 

“I feel you too.” I answer with a soft breath.  _ How is this happening? Wait, shit, we have bigger problems right now.  _ Pidge’s thoughts melt so much into mine that I couldn’t tell if she was the voice in my head or not. A whizz of violet light rains down as we look up through the eyes of Voltron and focus on the thousands of drone fighters hovering over the Castle, pounding unceasingly onto its particle barrier. 

“Alright team,” Shiro’s commanding voices snaps us into focus as we zero in on the fighters, “Let’s draw those fighters out!” 

In sync, Lance, Hunk, and I engage Voltron’s thrusters and launch us upward towards the fighters. We drive directly through them, knocking several aside as we blast by, and then veer off to the right, diving directly into the storm. The push of the gale winds nearly twists us about like we’re in a centrifuge, to stabilize us I engage the thrusters in Voltron’s back with small bursts to go with the flow of the storm instead of fighting against it. I peer behind us through my hologram and see that, thankfully, the drones have halted their attack and instead are turning to follow us. 

“I think it’s working!” Keith mirrors my thoughts over the com, “They’re following us!” 

As if on queue, violet streams of light blast by as the fighters fire on our back. Most of the shots go awry with the wild wind or strike a piece of asteroid flying by, which is fortunate because my entire attention is aiming the thrusters in Voltron’s back against the tide to keep us stable. 

Over the com I hear Allura shouting, “How’s it coming, Coran?!” 

“In order for this to work each remaining lens will have to take the equivalent of five beams!” Coran shouts in reply. I twist the controls to keep Voltron faced into the oncoming storm,  _ if I don’t keep us facing the wind we’ll be sent flying to who knows where,  _ “There’s no way it can hold that kind of power, the whole thing will explode!” Coran cries, anxiety rising in his voice with each word. 

“They can’t follow us in the storm!” Keith snaps over the com in a matter of fact voice, and I peer at the hologram to my right of Voltron’s back to see drone after drone getting thrown into the tide of the winds or getting utterly smashed with flying asteroids as Keith finishes, “... It’s tearing them apart.”

I feel the equivalent sensation of abruptly falling in a dream, heart jolting and fear spiking in my throat as Voltron suddenly teeters. We twist to avoid a large chunk of rock, and I let out a terrified breath as I barely maneuver the thrusters to face the brunt of the winds in time, “Lance, Hunk, keep thrusters aimed into the force of the wind!”

“The debris!” Hunk lets out a strained breath, and we quickly twist just around another oncoming rock while narrowly avoiding a metal chunk of drone as he shouts, “It’s gonna tear  _ us  _ apart if we don’t do something!”

“Pidge!” Shiro barks over the com, “We’re gonna need that shield.” 

I feel a surge within me, yet it isn’t  _ me,  _ this sense of sudden pride,  _ it’s Pidge.  _ “On it!” She cries, and I almost can hear her words like she’s right here in the cabin with me. 

I snap back to focus to twist out of the way of another rock as Shiro commands, “And Keith, the sword!” 

“Yes sir!” With a metallic clang the red beams in Voltron’s back leap off with magnetic force to cover the Green Lion. A deep purr resonates from the Red Lion so loud I can feel it as Keith engages the sword, and with a flash of crimson he slashes out and slices clean through an oncoming asteroid, the pieces flying around us from the force. I position Voltron carefully behind Pidge’s shield and keep us facing the wind as rocks and broken drone debris collide into our shield, pushed aside with a jerk of our shoulders.

Voltron teeters against a sudden, powerful burst of wind, pushing us backwards as Shiro shouts, “Legs, give me everything you got!” 

“Roger, engaging lower thrusters!” Hunk shouts in confirmation, and the off balance immediately rights itself as the thrusters in Voltron’s feet are fully engaged, I twist Voltron like we’re about to spring off a platform to best optimize the burst as Lance replies, “I’m right there with ya!”

Nothing but sand and dirt and ash fly across our vision like we’re in a yellow wormhole, before suddenly the powerful gale force winds fade like a flip of a switch. When I blink the yellowed sandstorm is gone, and before us lies Zarkon’s command center, hovering over the eye of the storm where the Castle lies.  _ Phew, we made it through. ‘Out of the frying pan and all that.’  _ I blink in surprise as I hear Pidge’s thoughts in my head as clear as my own.  _ How is this happening?  _

_ ‘This is so weird, it’s like your thoughts are in my head!’  _ I can feel Pidge’s mind working a mile a minute, complicated words and concepts whizz by so fast I can’t even grasp them as more solid words drift through,  _ ‘We are going to have to test this out more later.’ _

“We gotta get his attention.” Keith cries over the com, but as soon as the words leave his mouth Zarkon’s main vessel moves. It begins to rotate at a slow rate, like the axis of a planet in our direction. A slow, dangerous, massive, spinning top. 

“I don’t think we have to work very hard to do that.” I grumble under my breath, attempting to hide how hard my heart is pounding in my chest.  _ ‘Please don’t let this be like last time. Lance and I against a whole fucking fleet - oh how my mom would lose her mind if she heard me swearing right now -’ _

I furrow my eyebrows and attempt to send Pidge a clear and distinct thought, like a message,  _ I can hear you swearing loud enough on her behalf. Keep focused, if Zarkon tries to rip us apart again- _

“Coran, here we go!” Allura shouts, and just behind the slowly approaching Galra spectre I see the Castle, so small in comparison to the massive command center, zip and peel away in the other direction, away from us. 

“It worked!” Hunk cries, “They escaped!” 

Immediately, I’m assaulted with a horrible feeling of  _ wrong.  _ I recognize it now, I know it immediately, and as I open my mouth to speak Pidge’s voice melts with mine, “Oh fuck, shit-”

“Something’s wrong! It’s that thing!” I shout in a very helpful manner right when my lion’s controls seize. I can’t move the control rods, the holographic panels seize, and everything around Voltron is encompassed with a dull, dark, violet light. 

“What’s going on?!” Keith shouts in anxiety. 

Hunk gasps, “My lion!”

I hear a sudden gasp, like a punch in the gut, over the com as Shiro snarls, “ _... Zarkon. _ ”

Hearing Shiro’s tense voice fills me with worry. I close my eyes, honing on our entwined essences. I clearly feel Pidge’s, we’re wound so tightly that there’s almost no difference between us, but after some shifting I latch onto Shiro’s. My throat tightens at the distress and…  _ violence  _ emanating from the cabin.  _ Zarkon is literally fighting with Shiro over control of the Black Lion.  _

Keith picks up on this immediately and barks, “Zarkon’s trying to take control of the Black Lion again! Fall back!” 

Desperately, I grab my controls and push on them with all my might, but they won’t budge, it’s like they’re made of stone. I smack my hand down on my holographic panel and growl, “Come on, Silver, snap out of it!” 

My cabin begins to vibrate violently, and I feel something alien and wrong worming its way into our woven essences, like a hooked claw through a braided string.  _ ‘He’s doing it, he’s tearing us apart-’ Fuck, no, fuck, not again-  _

Suddenly, the violet light fades like a power outage, and my holographic panels spark back to life. Allura’s voice cracks like lightning through our coms, “Paladins, now’s your chance, get out of there!” Without hesitation I engage our thrusters and launch us away from the ship as fast as possible. 

Only once I’m certain we’re out of range, we twist back around to face Zarkon’s ship. Beyond I spot the Castle of Lions, like a hornet buzzing around a nest, firing a neon blue beam into the center of the X shape of Zarkon’s ship.  

Shiro’s breath is heavy over the com, and my heart rate skyrockets as he takes a shaky breath, “I forgot how...  _ intense _ Zarkon’s connection to the Black Lion is.”

“We can’t approach the Command Center.” I snap back, pressing forward on my controls to keep us heading away from the ship, “He’ll try and rip your lion out from beneath you.”

Shiro verbally nods, his breath coming out in a shaky exhale, “We have to keep our distance or risk losing Voltron.” 

The Castle peels away from Zarkon’s command vessel and rockets away at full thrusters, which seems to sharpen Shiro’s focus back to the present as he resumes barking orders, “Let’s disband and get back to the Castle!” 

Like dropping a hot plate we release our bonds and return to our individual lions. Shiro takes the lead, hauling ass back to the Castle. I take up the rear, checking over my shoulder at Zarkon’s ship. It’s rotating again to follow us, like a live chess piece about to give chase.  _ But out of range, but only for a moment. _

I smash a button and fly so quickly into my open hanger I nearly crash into the opposite wall. I frantically hit the button again with my whole hand to slam the doors closed in a smooth motion as I land in the hanger. Leftover sand from our initial departure still loiters in the corners of the hanger as I take a shaky breath, leaning fully on my controls as the seconds stretch on. 

Keith impatiently snaps after at least ten seconds, “Why haven’t we wormholed yet?”

“Because we can’t!” Coran barks in such a surprisingly aggravated tone I’m taken aback, “We’re missing several scaultrite lens stones! They’ve shattered! Gone! Don’t exist! Slavendaiho! That’s G-”

“Wait a minute,” Pidge interrupts with an inquisitive tone, “Did you say scaultrite?” 

“Yes, it may not have a translation back into English, but it-” 

Pidge immediately cuts him off with a gasp, “Wait, I’ve seen that somewhere before! I think Hunk was making some terrible cookies with that stuff!” 

I hear Hunk grunting angrily but he doesn’t say anything as Coran huffs, “We’re desperate, might as well see what we can do. Where are these cookies?” 

“I left them in the kitchen when we got attacked.” Hunk offers in a helpful tone, if a bit dejected.

I quickly rise from my pilot’s seat and race down the stairs as Shiro states, “Let’s go and see what we can do to help.”

We convene in the main hanger, the Castle’s thrusters are so loud that it sounds like a constant thunder rattling in the echoing space. We run with all due haste to the kitchen, and when we arrive we find Coran is already there with a handheld device at hand, almost like a scanner at a grocery store. He’s holding one of Hunk’s glass looking cookies at hand with the device hovering over it, a hologram is open above it with a pie chart, rapidly changing and rotating as different parts of the cookies are picked apart and analyzed. 

We gather around, while I particularly watch my feet to not step in the rapidly growing puddle that Coran is creating, watching with bated breath as the analysis on Hunk’s cookies is done. After a moment, Coran gasps, “Unbelievable! These cookies  _ do  _ have trace elements of scaultrite!”

“Could they work?” Shiro asks as we hover, looking over Coran’s shoulder at the glass cookie he holds at hand. 

Coran turns to look over his shoulder at Shiro, glooping sweat dripping from his chin and onto the device he holds, “They might be able to hold for one jump, but we’d need something… someone, several someone’s physically holding them in place...” His gaze flickers to each of us as the active thought process verbally rolls out, and he gasps suddenly in excitement, “And if the trajectories were calculated just so..!” 

Shiro nods, interrupting in a surprisingly polite manner, “Show us what to do.” 

“Hurry, to the teludav!” Coran waves his hand and picks up Hunk’s scattered cookies, stacking them onto one pan. He holds the pan pressed against his slippery slick chest as he glides like the Golden Surfer out of the room and down the hall. 

“That’s…” I murmur as we blink at the space, the slime, he left behind, “Fucking  _ gross. _ ” 

“Come on.” Shiro races after him, carefully avoiding the trail Coran left in his wake, and we quickly follow.

I don’t know where the engine room is, but luckily I don’t have to know, we simply had to follow Coran’s slime trail down the halls of the Castle. The cavernous halls grow smaller and smaller until we arrive at a tight turn, and when we enter the room we’re surrounded on all sides by holographic panels covering desks, tops, virtually every flat surface in the place, and on the far end is a circular tube, about two or three heads taller than Shiro in diameter. The tube, tunnel thing’s interior is completely covered with circular, glass lenses, each about as large as a dinner plate save for the far end. There’s a massive microwave-like plate, or at least that’s what it looks like; it’s circular, looks like it moves, and slightly clear while also opaque, sitting straight up and down at the end of the short tunnel. As we race in, I can see that several of the lenses are cracked and some have entire pieces missing, or hanging off like bananas.  _ That’s the teludav then. _

“Come here, each of you, I think I know the angle that you need to stand and hold the scaultrite!” Coran snaps impatiently, waving us to enter the massive tubular room. As we filter in he thrusts two of Hunk’s scaultrite cookies into each of our hands and beginning with Shiro he begins to position us around the room at specific angles to catch the beams. Shiro’s on the far end, where the end of the cylindrical room has the massive microwave dish looking thing, his arms are directly over his head and his feet are hidden beneath two broken lenses below him, stuck through the netting that holds the lenses in a sheath all the way around the room sized cylinder. Lance has his feet wedged under the metal rings beneath the lenses holding them in place, hanging upside down like a monkey with his cookies held on either side of him, an upside down T pose. Pidge is awkwardly folded against the wall with her cookies held straight out, and Hunk lies on his back with both of his hands holding a cookie directly up and down on his chest, and the other wedged between his boots elevated in the air. Coran positions Keith to be hanging off the side with one lens held directly outward, like he’s catching something that’s falling, before he turns to me and grabs my wrists. I follow quickly and try  _ desperately  _ not to cringe as his slimy hands grab ahold of my arms and hoist my hands above my head, directly above me with my elbows locked. He brings me to my knees at the end of the cylindrical room, closest to the door with my arms and lenses over my head. Behind me I can faintly hear Hunk’s voice, glowing in pride, “I’m just glad that everyone’s enjoying my cookies!” 

Coran holds his hands up like he just finished building a tower of cards when he slides away from me. Slowly, he lets out a relieved breath, “Okay,  _ there.  _ Nobody move if you want to live!” 

The Castle rumbles, slightly shaking the room, no doubt from the force of an oncoming blast. Lance shrieks from the end of the room, “I think I moved,  _ I think I moved!”  _

“Well then move back to where you think you were!” Coran screeches in response, before he turns with a graceful turn with the slicked floors from his sweat, “Now I’m going to monitor the beam from out here-”

“Wait, Coran!” Hunk shouts, and I risk a glance back at him behind me to see the look of fear in his eyes, “How dangerous is this?” 

“Hunk,” I reply in a warning tone, “Do you really want to know the answer to that?” 

Coran pauses at the mouth of the cylindrical room, his back turned to us as he replies in a serious, and utterly dark tone, “Honestly, this is the most dangerous thing I’ve ever seen, or heard of.” The room is disturbingly quiet as Coran whirls, his eyes wide and wild, “But since we’re probably going to die anyway, what the hell, _ let’s give it a shot! _ ” 

He touches a button outside of the room and a round door, like the cap on a can, begins to slide shut. Coran salutes us with a grave expression as he states, “Good luck, gentleman. And gentlelady. It’s been a pleasure.” His eyes fly wide and he leans into the ever decreasing crevice of the closing door and shouts,  _ “Don’t touch the lasers!”  _

The room echoes ominously as the door closes, and we’re left in near perfect darkness. 

I let out a sigh, already feeling a burn in my shoulders from the uncomfortably position, “I told you you didn’t wanna know.” 

“You know what Will, I  _ hate it  _ when you’re right, can’t you just be wrong, like, once? Just once, that’s all I ask.” Hunk snaps back in a faux irritated tone, and I can’t help but crack a smile. 

“Just ask me about coded figures.” I retort jokingly. 

Suddenly, the room illuminates with a neon blue light coming from behind me. I don’t dare turn around to watch, as it’s probably just the teludav firing up, but I can feel the heat in the room spiking as it activates. 

Lance’s voice cracks in terror behind me,  _ “We’re gonna die we’re gonna die we’re gonna die we’re gonna-”  _

“Hold tight, Lance!” Pidge interrupts, although her words are soothing her voice is tight, just as terrified as Lance is. I close my eyes and focus on remaining as  _ still as fucking possible.  _

Lance screams, but it’s abruptly cut off like a dying mouse. I open my eyes and see that the room has returned to complete darkness and I can hear Coran’s shriek from outside,  **_“It’s not working!!!”_ **

After five seconds of silence, none of us daring to even breathe, when the door suddenly opens. Coran comes swirling in, and beyond I can hear Allura’s voice from the hologram shouting “Ten..!” 

Coran flies past me and to the end of the room, where he turns on a dime and wipes his hands along his torso. Globs of viscous sweat accumulate like globes in his hands as Shiro shouts, “What’s happening?!” 

“Nobody move!” Coran cries as I hear Allura counting down from ten in the background,  _ “Nine! Eight!” _

“I’ve got to shine these stones! Good thing I have a case of the slipperies!” Coran practically shrieks as he glides across the lenses on the floor, swiping his sweat across the lenses facing the back. I quickly turn my head back around,  _ God my shoulders are on fucking fire _ , and the room suddenly begins to heat up, the bright blue light from my back firing up and illuminating the space. I hear Allura’s voice from outside,  _ “Five! Four! Three!”  _

Coran’s sweaty hands sling at the lenses in my hands, and it takes every fiber in my being not to shudder in disgust as I feel some dribble down my forearms as he practically throws himself out of the room, sealing the door shut behind him and cutting off Allura’s final cry,  _ “One!”  _

Behind me I hear the others crying out in mixtures of surprise and fear as the room flashes so brightly blue that spots dance before my eyes. I feel something powerful striking the scaultrite cookies in my hands from behind, like a pressure washer being fired from behind me and my arms strain to stay still,  _ stay still, stay still, stay- _

As abruptly as the firing began it’s over. The pressure lifts and my arms tremble from the effort. I can feel sweat, _my own sweat_ _I hope,_ dripping down my back. The doorway to the teludav opens. Surprisingly it’s Allura who stands before me, her eyes wide at our state before she speaks, “We made it, we wormholed.” 

With a loud clank and a yelp, I turn over my shoulder to see Lance falling on his face. I drop my arms with a slight smirk, but I’m too tired to laugh. The scaultrite cookies in my hands are smoking, blackened, and crackling like ice.  _ Yep, these are definitely a one use sort of thing.  _

“Holy  _ crow  _ that was terrifying. I’m so glad we’re alive.” Hunk groans in relief, and slowly we rise to our feet and file out of the room. I take off my helmet, letting out a long breath and tossing it to the floor before leaning against the nearest surface with my arms in my lap.  _ I did not have the upper body strength for that.  _

“I’m just relieved it worked! I like not dying.” Coran says enthusiastically from where he stands by the open door into the teludav, his arms crossed over his chest with a beaming, proud grin stretched beneath his bushy mustache. 

“Alright,” Shiro says with an exhausted breath, and we all turn to face him as he points to the doorway, “Let’s get back to the bridge so we can plan our next move.” 

“I’ll tell you what our next move is.” Allura states firmly, her gaze so fiery and set that I immediately give her my undivided focus as her gaze flickers to the floor only briefly, “... I have to leave.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> This chapter is essentially Season 2, episode 5, with basically no tweaks (for once). It's hard to write action scenes because there's little to no time for Will to digest what's happening so I try to reflect that with the little to no description save for what he notices in passing. The biggest flaw that the show has is the jump from one adventure to the next, not allowing time for them to reasonably breathe in between but in this case that's exactly what this is, bc that's exactly what Zarkon's doing. Shit's wild fam, but it's here, I made it, I hope it's enjoyed!  
> **


	24. Fear of Abandonment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Zarkon haunting the Castle of Lions at every turn, Team Voltron has limited time to find out exactly how Zarkon is possibly tracking them. It's not through normal means, otherwise he wouldn't have found them in the cosmic storm, but as tensions rise, members of the team take matters into their own hands to eliminate some variable at play.  
> \---  
> **  
> I describe Will's back tattoo in this chapter, and on my blog I have a post dedicated to some concept art for it if you're curious to see: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/that-ginger-lancaster-kid

“There is no point in debating this further.” Allura declares with a note of finality as she bursts onto the bridge. We scurry in her wake as she continues with a sharp voice with rapid fire words, “Zarkon is  _ clearly  _ tracking us through me!

“No way!” Lance argues immediately as Hunk cries, “That’s a load of space baloney!” followed by Pidge’s insistent, “That’s not possible!”

Coran slides past us gracefully with his slimed boots, getting in front of Allura and resting his hands on her shoulders to stop her. If it were anyone else, Shiro, Lance, anyone, I think Allura would’ve shrugged right past them to continue her course but because it’s Coran she pauses, looking at him with a surprisingly soft gaze. Some unwritten exchange passes between their gazes before she whirls around  to face us with a complete morph in expression, from soft and gentle to hard and unforgiving, “Why is that so hard to believe? Zarkon’s forces showed up on Arus only after I awoke!”

Lance crosses his arms with a deep frown, and he spits the words like they’re seeds that were too difficult to swallow, “She’s got a point.” A small, mischievous grin spreads across his face, a grin that I recognize so readily that I already feel the annoyance swarming over me as he bows deeply, looking at Allura with a charming, raised eyebrow, “I would  _ absolutely  _ travel across the galaxy to find you.”

I let out an annoyed breath and smack Lance’s shoulder, “Lance, now isn’t the fucking time-”

“It’s not you, Princess Allura.” My words die in my throat at the sound of Keith’s voice, and I pause to look at him. He’s leaning against the back of his seat where we’ve collected in Allura’s circle with his arms crossed over his chest and a typical, unreadable expression of vague disinterest, but had it not been for the guarded tone in his voice I don’t think I would’ve scrutinized him as closely as I am now. He continues with a slightly harder edge to his voice, “It’s me.”

We’re all so stunned that we do nothing but stare at him for a solid five seconds before Hunk finally speaks, his eyebrow raised as he tentatively mutters, “Because…?”

Words spill out of Keith’s mouth with a slight morph in his tone to more flurried and rushed, his gaze sliding to his left, “I just think that uh… Zarkon must’ve imprinted on me during our fight, or something.”

_ Well, that smells like bullshit. _

Before anyone can say anything in response, Pidge interrupts with a swift cut of her hands, stepping up in our collection with a fierce look, “Look, the fact is that we don’t know how Zarkon is tracking us. Hell, it could be through the Black Lion!” She gestures vaguely to Shiro standing to her right with his arms crossed and his eyes far away in a pensive state. Pidge continues with a tone like he’s selling a book, “Every time Zarkon gets close to it, Shiro has to fight him for control!”

Coran straightens from his stance in front of Allura, her head bowed and her jaw set but unmoving as Coran states, “But that’s only when Zarkon is nearby. No Paladin has ever been able to connect with their lion over a vast distance.”

I frown and hold up my hand to dispute but Hunk, who stands to my left with his back to me speaks first, “So what’re we gonna do?”

Shiro raises his head with a hand on his waist, “Look, it doesn’t matter  _ how  _ he’s tracking us because we’re gonna take the fight to the Galra soon enough. What  _ is  _ important is that they’ve been chasing us down from galaxy to galaxy. So, the last thing that he’d expect is for us to come after him.”

Lance raises an eyebrow where he stands by Keith, his arms crossed comfortably over his chest, “The hunter becomes the hunted, hmm? Awesome!” He peers to his left to look at Keith with an enthusiastic grin, “That’s a tagline from like, six of my favorite movies.” Keith merely blinks at him like a confused puppy.  _ Endearing. _

I roll my eyes at Lance, barely suppressing a yawn as I retort, “Are they all from the Bond Legacy?”

Lance’s eyes narrow at me but before he can speak Pidge suddenly gasps. We all stop and watch as she races over to her chair and smacks the holographic panel to bring up her computer, and as she begins to type away she speaks in a rapid huff, “As it so happens, I took our list of recent Galra attacks and analyzed it for both commonalities and anomalies among attack sites. I was hoping to create some sort of algorithm that would, within a statistically acceptable margin of error, provide a list of target-rich Galra environments- color coded, of course, because what’re we, animals?”

We blink stupidly as Pidge types in some final commands, and with a flick of her wrist she expands her hologram into the entire space of the bridge. Hovering through the air, like snow, are thousands of little specks, and as I inspect the ones closest to me I see that they’re circular and lying within are strange symbols that I had never seen before.

“Whoa, cool!” Hunk proclaims with excitement.

Lance blinks very slowly before he turns to look at Pidge, “... What is it again?”

“It’s a uh… Galra finder?” Hunk raises an eyebrow at Pidge as if to confirm.

Pidge tilts her head with a finger rested under her chin, “Well, finder suggests that it locates the Galra, whereas it would be more accurate to say that my model predicts the most likeliest-” She pauses when she meets my gaze, which is probably wide, confused, and slightly listless, and as she regards the rest of the group she huffs and crosses her arms, “ _ Fine, _ it’s a Galra finder.”

“Okay, so… Where are they?” Lance tilts his head as the symbols begin to coalesce in a section in front of us, light olive lines connecting several circles together like constellations. With a few technical clicking sounds, holographic circles, like the analysis ones that appear when Coran is inspecting something, appear and hone in on several of the smaller spheres with the little symbols within them,  _ oh that’s a delta, I know that one, that’s a Greek letter.  _ One sphere grows a little larger than the rest, big enough to fit in the palm of my hand, with a darker, forest green light highlighting the sphere.

“The nearest ones are here, on a planet call Taujeer.” Pidge answers helpfully, gesturing to the larger sphere from where she rests on her chair.

“Then that’s where we’re headed.” Shiro states with a commanding nod, turning back to face us as he continues, “Everyone should get some sleep. Tomorrow, we’ll find that Galra fleet and take it out.”

“If Zarkon doesn’t find us before then.” Hunk grumbles pessimistically under his breath.

“Yeah,” I follow up with a jut thumb in Hunk’s direction, “How do we know Zarkon won’t stumble on us while we’re asleep?” 

Coran answers me, his slimy arms folded behind his back in a soldierly manner, “Fortunately, with the wormhole jump we just accomplished we managed to put some significant distance between the location Zarkon found us and here. With their fastest fighters it would take ten varga at least, but with the main vessel I anticipate that we’re a good few days ahead of the fleet.” 

This seems to settle the team’s nerves, based on the amount of tension that alleviates from everyone’s shoulders. With the dismissal, we begin to filter out of the room for some well-deserved rest. Pidge rises wordlessly and trudges out of the room, I can see the exhaustion in her eyes is practically tangible, followed quickly by Lance and Hunk with equal levels of drained. Coran rests his hands on Allura’s shoulders, and she looks at him with a surprisingly soft gaze as he wordlessly guides her from the room. I watch her go and something clenches in my chest watching her back, her shoulders are slumped as if carrying a heavy burden and her hands resting wordlessly on Coran’s viscous, sweat-covered hands as he guides her away. I move to follow them while running a hand through my hair, thinking of what I want to say until suddenly I hear Shiro’s voice over my shoulder, “Is everything okay?”

I hesitate by the doorway and glance behind me. At first I thought that he was talking to me but when I glance back I see he’s standing in front of Keith, who still leans unmovingly on his seat. I want to just leave, I really do, but I’m  _ nosy _ . I pause at the open exit from the bridge and step off to the side once I’m through the door, getting out of line of sight from within. There’s a moment of silence as I hear Keith answer in suspiciously lackadaisical tone, “Yeah. Why?”

“You just seem really… anxious.” Shiro replies in a soft tone, and I can practically see his face from here, that soft gaze and the parental light behind it.  _ Space dad. _

“I’m fine.” Keith’s voice is soft, so soft that from outside I can barely hear him as he speaks with that tone he only uses with Shiro, “Just tired.” I hear the soft sound of footsteps towards the door right as I hear Keith say, “You’re right, I should probably get some sleep.” 

_ Fuck, time to go. _

I leave so fast that I don’t even realize I’m back in my room until the door slides shut behind me.

_ Christ. _

_ Okay. So something is most definitely wrong with Keith. _

Immediately my selfish ass thinks it’s got to be me.  _ He must remember what happened last night, and is having an existential crisis over it. Oh fuck, he’s going down the second experimentalist’s route.  _

But then another part of me knows that that can’t be it, it can’t be that simple.  _ We’ve been hunted down for the whole fucking day, having at least three intimate encounters with Zarkon since we left Olkarion, which feels like a fucking year ago, there’s no way he’s been dwelling on that with all this nonsense going on.  _ **_I_ ** _ didn’t even get a chance to dwell on that, and I dwell on  _ **_everything_ ** _ , all the  _ **_time_ ** _. That’s like, my thing. _

I start to remove my armor, setting it aside gingerly as my muscles immediately groan in relief at the release of tension.  _ Keith’s voice was so timid when he declared that he was the one Zarkon was tracking. I was so shocked at how out of left field that was that I didn’t get a chance to properly digest that. Keith thinks that he’s the reason Zarkon is finding us. And I don’t buy that whole imprinting thing during our encounter with Zarkon for one goddamn second, I’m no lie detector but Keith is either terrible at it or… perhaps he didn’t expect us to dispute it. That’s a depressing thought. _

_ He seems to have a consistent theme of blaming himself for things that… not that they have nothing to do with him, but they’re not in his control. He blames himself when things are out of his control. Maybe this is just an extension of that? _

_ Well, we don’t have time to unpack  _ **_all_ ** _ of that.  _

I step out of my flight suit and send it down the dirty laundry shoot, taking off my clothes I had to wear underneath in our frantic rush to form Voltron. They  _ were  _ clean, but they got frumpled and rough from being shoved into the skin tight flight suit and then had to soak up my anxiety sweat from holding the glass, scaultrite cookies in the teludav. I sift through my drawers for pajamas as my eyes grow more and more tired. 

_ Maybe I should check in with him. But, Shiro just tried, and Keith trusts Shiro more than anyone, and he brushed him off so readily, I doubt I’ll get anything different. And  _ **_God for-fucking-bid_ ** _ he actually does remember about what happened last night; if I go and see him, regardless of what we talk about, why he thinks it’s him or even about the fucking weather, I know I’ll be able to tell real quick from being alone with him if he remembers. I am not emotionally ready to handle that right now. And I don’t know if he is either. Space is needed. I can’t go in and try and discern everything from everyone anyway, it’s not my place, like, bold of me to assume that I can get Keith to open up to me when he didn’t open up to Shiro- _

I let out a heavy sigh as I pull on some silky white pants from deep in one of the drawers, not even bothering with finding a shirt as I slide under the covers. As I move to lie down, I see my pile of notebooks piled at the foot of my bed, and an itch forms in the base of my chest. It’s so instantaneous that I don’t get to thinking about it, I just reach forward and snatch the top notebook from the stack. Suddenly, sleep is secondary, and like a bolt of lightning I have so much energy that I barely know how to handle it, save to write. I stretch up and grab my pen to continue writing the story of all this tomfuckery we’ve been up to, flipping the crinkled pages to the middle where I have left off. There’s only one sentence.

_ ‘Then it was the space base.’  _

_ Oh. Yeah. Right. That was a whole thing, wasn’t it? Good place to pick up.  _

I straighten out with my stomach on my bed as I stare at the blank page, reflecting. 

_ I have catching up to do in taking down the notes of what the fuck’s been happening since we left Earth, so I can start writing more day to day stuff about my thoughts and analyses on the thousands of layers of crazy shit going on.   _

I start with the experience of walking on the surface of the space base. It was the first time I’d walked without gravity since I went to the Moon for the White Lion, and I remember it was a harrowing experience, namely because I definitely lacked in it. Every movement threatened to send me flying into space or give away our position because I used too much effort or too little.  _ ‘The only reason I didn’t blow the whole operation right then and there is because Hunk stayed behind me and grabbed me before I flew away and made sure I went the right direction. I’ve never really thanked him for that, but I should have. I really wish I’d learned some basic space shit before I left Earth, but I don’t think I could handle my parents’ smug expressions if I did.’  _

I describe the Galra base bridge, gazing out over the glass opening into the loading bay below; we got Pidge hooked up to the main computer and then we had to dive to the side when the command vessel landed in the loading bay and they were seeking permission. I smile fondly as I describe Hunk lifting up the remains of one of the shot sentries to give them a thumbs up in order to ease any suspicions.  _ ‘And by some miracle, it worked.’  _  I describe Allura’s plan to sneak aboard the ship and Shiro’s stern insistence at going with her, I figured because it was important for us to stick together. I describe her shapeshifting into a Galra-esque form and the confusion that ensued.  _ ‘I felt so proud of myself of knowing this piece of Allura after our talk the day before. There’s something about knowing a fact about your friend as they divulge it that’s so innately satisfying and exciting, it’s difficult to describe.’ _

I describe the druid, for the more I think about it the more convinced I am that that’s what that creature was that stood in the loading bay, observing and following the procession of sentries into the farther facility. I detail Keith’s insistence on walking off alone to follow them, but like _hell_ if I was gonna let him go off alone. _‘He looked at me with such a dark and stony expression that I could just_ _tell_ _that he didn’t want me to come because I would get in his way. And he had every right, honestly, if I was in position I’d think the same, but I was not gonna let him go alone. I’m not quite sure why I did it, I was just… compelled to follow him. And I’m glad I did, considering what followed.’_

I write about sneaking into the facility with Keith, and in depth I describe the quintessence refinement process as I witnessed it. I even draw a little diagram off to the side of the room’s layout and the flow of the process, where the druid stood in relation to Keith and I’s position, the movement of the containers to the glowing orb then to the funnel. I describe sneaking to the lower level after transmitting the scene to the others.  _ ‘Coran’s voice immediately was flooded with recognition, he seemed to know what they were doing well enough to be concerned. This reminds me, I have  _ **_really_ ** _ got to ask him about what quintessence really is. Yeah, it’s obviously a really important power source, but where does it  _ **_come_ ** _ from?’  _

I scribble the fight that ensues, the crackle of lightning that cut through the air to blast us from the face of the planet.  _ ‘My heart leapt into my throat when Keith got hit. I saw him fly through the air and crash into glasses full of orangish quintessence and I knew immediately that something was wrong. I raced to him, he was cradling his hand and it looked like that piece of his gloves had been seared off from the blast. I turned and looked at the faceless mask of the druid, and as their hands sparked with lightning a wave of dark calm filled my being and I had only one thought: Protect Keith.’  _

I describe our narrow escape in the Green Lion, Keith and I clustered in the stairwell, and specifically my relief at seeing that his hand was okay.  _ ‘Somehow his suit must’ve protected him, even though it was seared completely gone his skin was completely unmarred, not even a scratch. It was remarkable, I was just so glad that he was okay.’  _

It takes me a moment to write the next part as preemptive, air strickening anxiety seizes me, but this seems to only harden my resolve. I write with more of a flurry than before, using sharper words to get it down to paper. I write how Shiro returned without Allura, the immediate splintering that resulted when they got back to the Castle.  _ ‘Everyone was at each other’s throats. We were too eager to blame or assign adjectives to the situation when it called for more than that, it was literally like watching wolves snapping at one another’s snouts while hunters were threatening to close in on them. I had to yell to shut them up and get them to focus, and I’m frankly shocked that it worked. I could definitely feel the others’ resentment because of it, especially from Lance and Keith. Keith’s was quiet, and I think a carry over from his initial frustration of following him, but Lance’s was open and upset, he wanted me to know that I’d pissed him off. Frankly, I was fine with it. I just wanted us to focus. They could hate me later, I thought, but all that matters is that they’re focused on what matters: saving Allura.’  _

I write about the unification, the wormhole into the gassy planet at the edge of Zarkon’s command center. I spend plenty of time describing the vessel, the X shape and the sheer massiveness of it,  _ ‘It was the size of Zarkon’s ego, which is just about the size of a reasonably large town, or at least several city blocks, even beyond the size of the entirety of Times Square.’  _ Insert a helpful diagram that’s far from it, but it does help my mental imagery. 

Next came the swarm of vessels as we approached in Voltron, the hundreds of fleets encased in the outer rings of Zarkon’s command vessel, but most important of all I write about the feeling of Voltron seizing as Zarkon tore us apart, splitting us into our lions.  _ ‘I watched the Black Lion getting dragged towards the command center and I was so scared when I heard no response from Shiro. I thought the worst. I’ve never been more upset with my flying ability than I was that day trying to weave through the sheer amount of debris to get to him, I had to call to Keith in the Red Lion. No one’s a better flyer than Keith, if anyone could reach him, he could. I’m glad he did, he reached the Black Lion just in time to knock it, quite literally, from Zarkon’s grasp.’  _

In vivid detail I describe the showdown with Zarkon; my lion’s absolute rage that seized all control away from me as she raced forward and blast him with a full body pulse,  _ ‘She spoke then. Not to me, I just reached out to her to ask what was happening and felt her fury as mine, but she didn’t speak as she usually did; I heard her speak words, real words that I understood: “ _ _ YOU. YOU MONSTER, YOU MURDERER _ _.” Many things about this day shook me to my core, but this most of all. I can’t imagine what sort of wrong that Zarkon did to my lion so personally that she articulated how she felt into words.’  _

I describe the battle, the terror of my lion moving without me until we were hit by Zarkon, bearing the black bayard, for the first time. I detail the slice that cut into my side and my shoulder blade,  _ ‘the blow seemed to rip my lion out of her bloodthirsty reverie to at last listen to me.’  _ Together we battled with Keith in the Red Lion, but it was no use.  _ ‘It wasn’t about beating Zarkon anymore; it was about survival. I couldn’t - no, I still can’t believe that one mortal creature is able to withstand battle with not one, but  _ _ two _ _ Voltron lions. I saw the gaping holes in the Red Lion’s armor that Zarkon had ripped open. My lion and I moved as one with one goal in mind: protecting Keith and the Red Lion. I think that that was the factor that got Silver back to working with me again.’ _ I describe the horror of the second blow, the absolute agony that cut into my back and knowing the blood flowing into my suit was getting to a worrisome amount.  _ ‘I had bigger things to worry about, like getting Keith and I out of there once Shiro got the Black Lion back. I couldn’t even consider an “if” Shiro got his lion back, that’s how much deep shit we were in.’  _

I write the relief when Shiro returned and swept in like an angel of vengeance to get Keith out of there before going further, describing the Castle’s inability to wormhole.  _ ‘Immediately I knew what I had to do. I was balls deep in survival mode, I didn’t think before I was launching myself and the White Lion at the closest cruisers to cover the other’s escape. It wasn’t about me, it was about the others, as it always has been.’  _ I write about the fear when the wormhole did open and I was worried I was too far away, I describe the similar fear that crept into Shiro’s voice as he yelled for me to get back there,  _ ‘now.’  _

I describe the black light that enveloped the wormhole and corrupted it, turning the light blues morphing into crimsons and violets and causing the whole thing to shake and rock like a buoy in a turbulent tempest.  _ ‘I barely remember what happened in the wormhole itself, my lion dragged her claws along the surface of the Castle only to fall through the sides of the wormhole and suddenly all was darkness. Literally. My eyes were starting to swim, but I could see the shapeless, black mass before us. I tried to get us up in time but it was too late; we nose dove straight into the blackened snow of the planet.’  _

I hesitate, my pen stalling on the page as my eyes shift in and out of focus. Clenching my fingers tighter with determination, I bite my lip and press my pen into the page slowly, deliberately.  _ ‘I called into the com and no one answered. I was so afraid of what happened to the others, if they were safe, where they were and why they wouldn’t answer me. Then I realized that I had more immediate concerns, which was not to blackout. I knew I had to get up and find some first aid, but actually getting out of the seat made my vision swim. The last coherent thought I had was if the others were okay.’  _

I write waking up afterwards in the cryopod, not remembering much about what went down before that moment.  _ ‘Everyone looked so relieved. I admit, I was shocked. Maybe I was worse off than I thought I was.’  _

I take a moment to think about what happened next. When my pen hits the paper the words flow at their own volition,  _ ‘I didn’t feel like myself. I felt quieter, every little thing was louder than it was supposed to, I felt like I was wading through cotton. I think I was still in some residual shock… but regardless of what it was, it changed how I would’ve reacted when I walked back into my room to see Keith waiting for me.’  _

My gaze grows unfocused as I recount the moment: listening to Keith’s apology and the events that ensued.  _ ‘The numbness was all gone, evaporating off of my skin just when Keith would look at me. I panicked, I didn’t act as I should’ve to when someone apologizes. It eventually made everything all the worse for me, because Keith thought by some misguided principle that I was  _ _ mad _ _ at him. I had to tell him, because that goddamn beautiful boy can’t fucking quit.’  _

My pen stalls a little as I begin the next sentence. I have to remind myself this isn’t for a record. This is my story.  _ No one will see this but me. I need to get this all onto paper, affirm its reality and make it real.  _

I write.  _ ‘I remember he told me he couldn’t believe how selfless I can be. “You surprise me like that, even about this.” He’d said. Then he got close. I think it must’ve been my strange mentality that drove this to occur, but what I know now is what I felt about Keith before our fight against Zarkon is light compared to how I care for him now. It runs far deeper, deeper than I was able to hide, and I guess this is my long winded way of excusing myself for kissing him in that moment.’ _

I curl my lip as a blush begins to bloom across my features, I try to swallow and keep my embarrassment at bay by instead rushing into the  _ next. _ I write about the fear that gripped my chest, misguided as it was, that Keith was just forcing himself into a situation he wasn’t comfortable with.  _ ‘On retrospect it was the absolute most pisspoor excuse my mind came up with to get myself to get away from the situation. I think now I realize I was just afraid of hurting Keith somehow, I  _ _ still _ _ think I can hurt Keith and that’s what keeps me and my feelings deep deep inside my head to never be discussed. I don’t want to treat him like I was treated by Damien, even though I never thought I would be capable of those things, I’ve recently been learning a lot about myself and what I’m capable of. I’m not going to risk it, I wasn’t gonna risk it, and that’s why I pushed him away so violently even though I was the one who tugged him in in the first place.’  _

I write about hiding away in the White Lion to eat and cry to myself,  _ ‘Like a true bitch, for sure, but it was nice to talk to Pidge. I think she could tell I was crying but she didn’t mention anything, she didn’t treat me any differently. I appreciated that, I think if not for that conversation, when Lance found me, it would’ve led to a whole new situation than what I was ready for. But I was able to pull my shit together enough because of my talk with her, just listening to her talk about her problems harrowed mine and made me realize how self centered I was being.’  _

I describe Lance’s worry and our bonding moment, releasing any tension we had had before we engaged Zarkon in battle the day before.  _ ‘It was a relief, to bury that hatchet. Lance butts heads with me relatively often, but I find that they’re usually for good reason; to call me out on my shit, typically.’  _

I write about linking Shiro’s arm to Pidge’s computer the next morning - how  _ difficult _ it was to not look Keith in the eyes - but most importantly the information Allura finally revealed: Zarkon was the Black Paladin before Shiro.  _ ‘I remember fighting him, the black bayard that somehow rendered our lions vulnerable, but even earlier, when Coran had emphasized to me how important it was to keep the Castle of Lions  _ _ and the Black Lion _ _ away from Zarkon. It all clicked.’  _

I describe travelling to the crystalline, xanthorium clusters, the location in Shiro’s prosthetic that led to potential allies,  _ ‘to Ulaz’.  _ I describe our shock to find ‘the intruder’ aboard, and our dispersal out into the Castle halls to hunt down the shadow.  _ ‘On reflection it was pretty funny, I can’t imagine how stupid we must’ve seemed to Ulaz. He just ran through us like we were merely obstacles to avoid, he didn’t attack, he didn’t provoke, he just ran away. I wonder what he was looking for. Shiro. He was probably looking for Shiro. But why couldn’t he have stopped and said, ‘Hey, you seen this handsome Japanese man in these parts? Missing a limb?’  _

I describe the interrogation, my nerves jumping with every movement with him on the ship, my momentary bond with Allura in that moment over our mutual distrust, then it was the space pocket, where his operations were hidden.  _ ‘I have no idea how that scientifically works, but Pidge seemed not to deem it too incredulous, and I can’t believe I’m saying this but a sixteen year old kid has my utmost trust on what’s scientifically possible. Or… whatever age Pidge is. Truth be told, I still don’t actually know. I should probably ask.’ _

I write about riding in the Red Lion into the base.  _ ‘Ulaz offered Pidge prisoner records. She mentioned that they were not helpful later, I think because they were still encrypted but the thought counts. What was strange and what I remember is best is when Keith asked him about the sword he carried. He said it was just a ceremonial something from his order, the Blade of Marmora, and Keith played it off as an idle interest, but I’m not buying that for a second. He had this look on his face, his voice was softer like when he speaks to Shiro, it was strange to see then, and about a sword no less. I haven’t the faintest idea what the significance of that is, but for some reason this sticks out in my mind as significant. Just like now, when Shiro was asking him if he was okay and Keith said he was in a lackadaisical way that’s just a little  _ _ too _ _ lackadaisical.’  _

I detail the feeling when the third ro-beast came, the horrifying thought crawling into my mind that my reactions may be some sort of connection to Zarkon. I write down racing back to the Castle.  _ ‘As I was leaving, that thought in my mind, I turned to Ulaz and asked if it was really him that gave us up. He didn’t speak until Shiro shouted for me, but when I was leaving I heard him say “Never.” There’s something heart wrenching about this; I wonder what life Ulaz had led up to this point that he felt the need to be so indiscript to the point of seeming untrustworthy. Or maybe that’s just how the Galra are, and in his final moments he broke what is typical because… oh, I don’t know. What the hell am I talking about?’ _

With a deep frown I continue with a focused expression on the page, my hand’s starting to cramp but I can’t stop, not with so much left to be said. I describe bursting out of the space pocket to take on the third ro-beast, getting a good look at its horrendous face that took up most of its body up close and personal.  _ ‘I think we’d gotten some practice now, fighting as a unit. If we faced that creature back on Arus, I think that would’ve been it for Voltron, but we were able to survive pretty well against this beast. What was most disturbing how it seemed completely immune to any damage, even when we hurled it into an explosive crystal it didn’t even seem marred.’  _

I bite my lip with a shaky breath as I write the next part,  _ ‘The only reason we survived is because of Ulaz. Ulaz, who we distrusted from the beginning… No. Who  _ _ I _ _ distrusted from the beginning. We didn’t deserve the sacrifice he made, but he made it because he believed in Voltron. I’ve got to hope that that’s something to continue on for, to honor those who we don’t deserve because they’re fighting for what they believe in, and there’s nothing more honorable than that.’ _

Pausing, I rub out my writing hand, stretching my shoulders upwards to ease the ache. My eyes are definitely fluttering shut with every movement, I need to sleep, and soon.  _ I’ll finish this later.  _

I jot down one last phrase to remind myself later of what I’d written and what’s left to write:  _ ‘Olkarion.’ _

Tossing my notebook onto the shelf I lay on my stomach and burrow my hands under my pillow, and that’s when I feel something rough and scratchy beneath. I blink and sit up on my elbows and tug on it, and immediately groan  _ loudly. _

_ I still have Keith’s fucking jacket. _

_ I’ll give it back to him once I can be in the same room with him without losing my shit. So like, maybe in a fucking week or longer.  _

_ Goddamnit- No, I can’t keep doing this.  _

I ball up Keith’s jacket and throw it across the room without care, the ugly thing sliding underneath my dresser and mostly out of sight save from where I’m lying on my bed.  _ Out of sight, out of mind. Can’t let myself continue to dwell on these stupid feelings when we’ve got shit to do.  _

I grumble at myself indistinctly under my breath as I roll onto my other side, facing the wall and closing my eyes. I’m so exhausted, it takes me mere seconds to fall asleep.

…

_ “I can find you anywhere.” _

_ I blink and whirl around in circles, but all is black. I can’t tell if it’s just shadow or if I’m blind, but I know that I am in a constricted space, I can sense the objects lying in the room, a desk, a bed, a lamp- I fumble for the strings but when I pull on it no lights activate. This voice is horrifyingly familiar, but I can’t remember who it belongs to.  _

_ A light in the darkness, barely a light at all, blossoms several lengths away from me. It’s a deep violet, but even though it’s so dark it’s still a light, it breaks the shadow just a little in the area it inhabits.  _

_ I head towards it like a moth to the flame. I’m overwhelmed suddenly with the thumping of boots, marching in synchronized rhythm that begins as soon as I take a step forward. Hard metal shoves me and I scurry out of the way as a marching line brushes right past me, but I can’t see them, the only queue they’re there is the loud, thundering march right before me. I turn back towards the violet light and just barely I can make out the outline of soldiers, backlit by the quiet, vague light. _

_ They’re faceless, they’re humanoid with guns in their hands with such marching discipline that each figure’s step is a minor part of the massive chorus of that is the march. I’m not sure why, I’m not sure how or why, but I know I need to get through them to get to the violet light behind them. They need me. I watch their figures pass, their rhythm is smooth and consistent, but the light behind them no longer is. It wavers, bouncing between this line and I can see there’s another line behind it, perhaps endless lines of marching soldiers. I’m running out of time. I need to get to them. _

_ I grit my teeth and dive through the line, wedging myself straight through the slight gap between two soldiers. Hard metal strikes my back, it’s cold and sharp but I manage to keep my footing as I worm past, they wouldn’t stop to let me by, I had to time it right so I didn’t get trampled and by some miracle I did it blindly. The violet light is right in front of me, and I see now that it’s a shape, it’s a curve of some symbol that I vaguely recognize but I’m not sure from where. I hold out my hands to the rune but instead of grasping around it my hands abruptly grasp onto something around it… someone. The rune is emblazoned on someone’s back like a brand, my hands brush someone’s shoulders in my blind reaching. I don’t know who they are, but all I know is that it’s someone terrified out of their mind, for as soon as I touch them they jerk away from me and shove the space where I once was, I think their back was to me but now they’re facing me. The symbol burns brighter as I make calming noises and gestures, murmuring, “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, it-” _

_ “Get out of my head!” A husky snarl, a voice I know, snaps and whirls towards me. The violet light of the symbol suddenly vanishes as hands shove on my shoulders so hard I fall to the floor with a violent crack. As soon as my back hits the floor I’m flooded with sudden, bright light and the loud din of the marching soldiers immediately ceases. I mask my eyes with a raised hand, struggling to my feet as my eyes adjust to the light. _

_ When I can see again, I’m in a place I immediately recognize; white nothingness beyond, white nothingness beneath my feet, yet it’s solid ground. I haven’t seen this place in a few weeks, but how can I forget the dreamscape that haunted me every night since I could even begin to dream? Never. This place is forever burned into my memory, but despite the horrors that transpired here I’m no longer afraid. I know why now, it’s not a faceless unknown. I know who’s realm I’m in, now. _

_ I turn around to peer behind me where I know the White Lion stands, in her dreaming form that I grew intimately familiar with before I even knew it was her. She’s looking at me with a familial, golden gaze, padding towards me with an unknown purpose that fills the silent space with the soft sound of her paws. _

_ “Silver.” I murmur, my voice echoing like it always does in the dreamscape as I raise an eyebrow at her, “Why’re we here?” _

_ The White Lion stops just before me. She’s massive, when she raises her head all the way she’s directly eye to eye with me, and had this been any lion but her I would’ve been scared out of my mind. She peers at me with a tilt of her head, her ears flickering like they’re catching onto a sound I can’t hear. With a slight tilt of her massive head she leans forward, her eyes flickering down and pressing the great expanse of the top of her head against my forehead, a tender, familial touch. Something within me surges and I reciprocate immediately, closing my eyes and leaning my forehead against her, mirroring her actions. _

_ When my eyes open, I am no longer in the white plain. I’m in a room I’ve never seen before but it looks… Altean. The white walls, the neon blue highlights are just like the halls of the Castle, but this isn’t the Castle. This is a grand dining room, grander than even the dining hall at the Castle, there’s a long table with golden ornaments hanging along the sides and a massive, gold and blue chandelier hanging overhead. It’s grand, it’s massive, and gilded in all senses of the word; Egyptian pharaohs would be jealous of the grandeur. _

_ I’m sitting in one of the chairs with a plate of alien food before me, and when I look to my right and left I see the faces of strangers. There are six total people at the table, each one of them are wildly different, definitely not the same race and probably not even from the same planets, but they’re here, at this shared table.  _

_ One has blue, leathery skin, an arced nose that matches his brow, fins instead of ears, and gills in his neck. He’s donned in nothing but a leather harness across his chest from where he sits at the table across from me, and his expression is lazy and lackadaisical. Beside him is what looks like an Olkari woman with a narrow jaw but brilliant eyes, bifocal lilac and olive just like the rest of her species. Unlike the other Olkari I’ve seen, she has ears like a doe’s that stick out the side of her head and long, brown hair in a braid down her back that’s as straight as an arrow.  _

_ On my right is a massive creature who appears to be made of stone, his skin is rock that trails like a path up his forearms that rest on the table; shined pebbles line his cheekbones and his jawline in a surprisingly proud and royal manner, like his body made a crown just for him. He’s massive, towering over me to the point that I figure I only reach to his beltline while we’re standing that’s how big he is. His eyes have no pupils, they are entirely a soft crimson color that’s as warm as a sunset, somehow I can tell where he’s looking based on the movement of his stony brow.  _

_ On my other side is a… Galra. Yes, this is a Galra, he has the sharp cheekbones that melt into small, fluffy, pointed ears on the side of his skull like the rest, with the fanged canines over his bottom lip. He towers over me, at least a full head and shoulders over me from where his sits in his chair, I feel dwarfed beside these giants. However, his eyes aren’t the solid gold with a serpentine pupil like the other Galra I’ve seen; instead of whites in the eyes of humans, his are gold, but he has a maroon iris and rounded black pupils, surprisingly similar to a human’s. He bears a mantle on his brow that’s black and red, definitely some sort of crown, and the more I look at him, the more I feel like I know him.  _

_ What’s most interesting is at the head of the table sits a man I  _ **_definitely_ ** _ recognize from our first, and last, encounter when the Castle of Lions was infected with Sendak’s crystal: this is King Alfor. His face is not nearly as lined, he appears rather youthful, actually, with long, flowing, silver hair over his shoulders and down his back with a well trimmed beard resting beneath the soft pink markings beneath his jeweled eyes, just like Allura’s. _

_ The strangest thing is that each of these aliens each have a light resting on their chests. I feel like I have x-ray vision, because the source is not visible, just the deep glow permeating from within them, and the stones that rest on each of their chests: King Alfor’s heart shines red, the stone giant beside me has a heart of gold, literally, the Olkari woman’s is green and the blue skinned man’s is blue, surprisingly; the Galra’s heart is cavernous, a lack of light but not a lack per-ce, it’s black as night but full of everything just like the depths of space. _

_ They were talking when I popped into this seat, words I don’t understand, they’re garbled and unclear as I turn to each. I feel so, so small. Even my face is closer to the table than I was expecting, I feel like I’m shrunk, or the world has grown to the point that I look like I’m three feet tall.  _

_ I look down at myself and blink in shock when I see my skin is such a dark shade of blue that it’s almost black, speckled silver flecks freckle across my forearms and hands like stars on a night sky. I blink and stare down at my hands. They are so… small and grabby, with only three fingers and a thumb on each mitt. I peer down at the white tunic I’m wearing that seems to swallow my form, I’m swimming in it, it wasn’t made for someone of my unexplainably small size, my  _ **_feet_ ** _ aren’t even touching the floor. I’m the size of an older toddler. What the hell is- _

_... _

I blink awake unwillingly when a loud, jarring knock echoes into my room from my doorway. 

I sit up with a yawn, I’m up trudging mindlessly to the door and touching the pad by the frame to open it before I recognize that I’m conscious.

“Morning, sleeping beauty!” Lance grins at me wickedly, he’s practically glowing in the white lights of the Castle hall. I merely blink at him slowly and sleepily as he gasps, “Yo, dude, is that a fucking  _ tat?  _ ”

“... What? Lance, can you slow down, I just woke up.” I murmur, rubbing my eyes as Lance steps into my personal space, obnoxiously poking my chest just over my heart. 

I smack his hands away as he continues insistently, “What is that? How long have you had it? Does it mean anything to you?” I blink down at my chest as I slowly grow less and less sleepy with every second out of my dream, and slowly but surely I realize he’s poking my tattoo on my chest, of the tribal of two mountain peaks with the sun behind it and the river beneath it that’s no bigger than the palm of my hand.

“Uh… yeah, it’s a tattoo. I got it as a… let’s call it a sweet sixteen present.” I mutter, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I roll my head on my shoulders, “Is there a reason you woke me up?”

“Shiro said to head to the bridge.” Lance answers in a matter of fact tone, snapping some finger guns at me with a wicked grin, “So get rolling, white boy, it’s time to go kick some Galra a-”

“Lance, you’re at like, an eight, and I need you to go down to a four or three real quick.” I hold up a finger to him, running a hand through my hair before gesturing vaguely into the hall to send him away, “Alright, I’ll be on the bridge in a minute, unless you wanna wait on me to get dressed.”

“Want me to wait for you?” Lance asks with a raised eyebrow and I merely shrug in response, too tired to think or answer. I turn away from my open door and head to my dresser, rifling through the drawers for a shirt. I hear Lance gasping dramatically from behind me, and I nearly leap out of my skin when I feel one of his long, bony fingers jab into my spine,  _ “Dude, you have another one?!” _

_ “Lance.”  _ I growl in warning, smacking him with a random gray shirt I’d pulled from my drawer, “Ever heard of personal space?”

“But I never knew you had tattoos, though, that’s so cool! How many more are you hiding from me?” Lance raises an eyebrow at me suspiciously.  _ God, he’s way too fucking enthusiastic this early. What time even is it?  _ I tap the holographic panel by my bed and see it’s about 8 in the morning.  _ Not bad, but after yesterday, I need another like, 10 hours. _

“Damn Lance, take me out to dinner first.” I mutter, pulling the shirt on over my head and then sitting on the edge of my bed to pull on some socks.

Lance leans on my dresser with his arms crossed over his chest, his head tilted at me like an intrigued cat. Apparently he didn’t hear my snide remark, as I would’ve expected a loud blustering response. 

“The one on your back is pretty big compared to the one here.” He gestures idly to my chest with a hand before he raises an eyebrow, “You really like dragons, huh?”

I shrug nonchalantly, glancing down to the White Lion’s stone hanging around my neck. Kevin’s hardened, resting and complacent, as always. “Happy accident, I guess.” I answer evasively, grabbing my shoes from where I left them by the doorway to pull them on.

“Do they mean anything? I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but I can never decide what’s important enough to have forever, you know? Maybe like my mom’s name, or maybe my  _ mima _ ’s?” He touches his bicep thoughtfully, an eyebrow raised comically across his  _ stupidly well rested face. _

“This one’s the symbol of the summer camp I went to and worked for since I was like, thirteen.” I jut a thumb to the tribal tattoo over my chest, and then I gesture vaguely to my back as I lace my shoes, “The dragon with its wings outstretched represents opportunity and power, and the moon phases on its back represent transformation, so together it’s basically to illustrate how freedom only comes with change.” I bite my lip idly as I recall the decision, instilling the meaning forever into my skin.  _ Best not dwell on it.  _

“Also, you know, it’s aesthetic as fuck.” I mutter as an afterthought. Once my shoes are on I stand upright with a long,  _ amazing  _ stretch of my arms over my head, letting out a breath as I roll my head from side to side before I continue, “It hurt like a bitch, though. That’s why I got the smaller one first, to know if I could take it before I committed to something bigger.”

Lance bristles a little at me, pouting as he huffs, “I can take it! I’m tough!”

I raise an eyebrow at Lance and gently pat on his shoulder, guiding him out of my room as I chuckle, “I didn’t say you couldn’t.”

Down the hall, Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro are walking together towards the bridge, so Lance and I pick up our pace to join them. Pidge salutes me with a lackadaisical grin once we catch up, raising an eyebrow as she smirks, “Sleep well?”

I shrug again, fighting to suppress a yawn as I raise an eyebrow, “‘Suppose. Why?”

Pidge snickers and says nothing, but over her shoulder I see Hunk is gesturing vaguely to the top of his head. I blink and mirror him, and that’s when I realize my hair is an absolute  _ wreck,  _ standing up at all kinds of insane angles.

I grumble and run my fingers through the red locks, shooting Lance a glare over my shoulder, “Thanks for the heads up,  _ Lance.  _ ”

Lance blinks at me with mock innocence, “I thought it was a new look you were trying.”

I give him a deadpan glare as I fight to slick my hair back down, sticking my tongue out at him with a bitter grumble as we stride onto the bridge.

The bridge is empty save for Coran, who’s in his never changing, deep blue uniform at the front in his space at the massive holographic panel table that sits at the nose of the vessel. He’s still glistening from his case of the slipperies, but fortunately he doesn’t seem to be sweating so hard that he’s in a puddle of his own viscous…  _ secretions.  _ Now he just looks like he took a shower in his clothes before coming here.  _ Minor victories.   _

“We should be approaching Taujeer’s orbit soon!” Coran greets in an annoyingly upbeat tone, turning back to his panel and tapping a few commands into the holographic keyboard after he notices our entrance.

“Raise the particle barrier. Scan for Galra.” Shiro commands right from the get go. I slide into my seat obediently and bring the computer to life, tapping the holographic panel and activating the particle barrier with a few deft touches.

“Where are Keith and Allura?” Shiro asks as he takes his seat at the front, his eyebrow raised at Coran at the front.

Coran pauses, his eyebrows furrowed as he stares down at one of the holographic screens to his left, and immediately I get a worm of worry in my gut. Coran doesn’t respond for a long drag of time, a  _ scary  _ long time before finally he speaks in a taut tone, “It appears that one of the pods launched in the middle of the night.”

“Wait a minute,” Lance straightens in his seat to my far right, past Keith’s empty seat as his eyes narrow, “Keith and Allura? In the middle of the night?” His lips smack as he flickers his gaze around to each of us before he raises an eyebrow, “You don’t suppose they’re… sitting in a tree?”

“Contact the pod.” Shiro’s voice commands curtly, to which Lance immediately nods a little over enthusiastically and pointing frantically at Shiro, “ _ Yes!  _ Contact that pod!”

I reserve my judgements, but with this new prospect that not only Keith, but Keith  _ and  _ Allura being missing sends my anxiety into overdrive. I never would’ve considered they were like, a thing if Lance hadn’t implied as such, but based on personal experience, I very much doubt that that’s the case. There has to be something more to their joint disappearance.  _ Something else they have in common… _

“Princess, Keith, where are you?!” Coran cries once he establishes the connection, and I snap back to the present to listen intently for the reply.

For a few anxious seconds the bridge is utterly silent before Allura’s voice comes over the com system on the bridge, “Exactly where we should be, far,  _ far _ away from the Castle.”

We all blink in utter shock, and Shiro leans back against his seat with wide eyes as he, surprisingly, flounders, “What? Why?”

Allura’s voice is fierce and determined, just like always, “We must know if we are the ones that Zarkon is tracking.”

Pidge gasps from her seat on the front right, nodding her head as if confirming a thought she had, “They’re isolating the variable! Well, two variables…”

Lance sighs and replies with an annoyed tone, “In English, please?”

Pidge frowns at him over her shoulder as she sets her hands in her lap, “In order to test a hypothesis-”

“I said in  _ English.  _ ” Lance retorts.

Pidge groans in annoyance and crosses her arms, “Urgh,  _ never mind! _ ”

“Pidge is right.” Allura’s voice states confidently over the com, “If Zarkon finds you despite my absence, we will know with total certainty that we are not the ones he’s tracking.”

Shiro’s voice is tense as he responds with a barely controlled voice, “Splitting up the group makes us far more vulnerable. Come back to the Castle,  _ immediately. _ ”

A part of me screams  _ ‘fuck yeah Shiro, fucking tell them, get their asses back here’  _ but I restrain myself, instead crossing my arms over my chest as a moment of tense silence follows Shiro’s command.

Finally, Allura sighs but her voice is firm and determined, “I’m sorry, Shiro, I cannot do that.”

My heart lurches into my throat when Keith’s voice comes over the com system immediately following Allura’s, “If Zarkon does find us, I can pilot us to safety. We’re in wide open space with plenty of room to maneuver, and plus we’ll be able to outrun him; Pidge added that booster rocket.”

I raise an eyebrow over at Pidge, who blinks as if she’s hearing about this for the first time. Coran lets out a disbelieving sigh at the front of the bridge, “That thing is  _ still  _ on there?”

I can’t hold my silence any longer. I snap, standing slightly from my seat with my hands planted on the armrests, “And  _ then  _ what? If he is tracking you, somehow, which is  _ not fucking true _ but since we’re  _ well past that,  _ where will you go? Even if you do outrun Zarkon, where the hell are you gonna go? Did you even  _ think this shit through?! _ ”

Neither of the two have a chance to answer as Shiro immediately follows up in a demanding tone, “We need both of you back here, n-”

Suddenly, the Castle jolts with a surprised screech of metal, cutting Shiro off before he can finish his order to Allura and Keith. I luckily fall back into my seat as the others brace with the sudden impact, and once the Castle stills Shiro looks up from his seat towards Coran at the brow of the ship, “What’s going on?” Coran straightens himself from his place at the front of the bridge, and finally I get out of the horrifying swirling in my head long enough to follow his gaze out the windowed view of space. 

There’s a sickly yellow light permeating from the left side of the window, but directly ahead of us are thousands of lumps of rock floating through space, spinning at low trajectories past us and away from the source of the light. They don’t appear to be hard like asteroids, rather they remind me of dried skin flakes, but a thousand times bigger. 

Coran takes control of the Castle from the front, guiding it towards the light to avoid another floating asteroid as he cries, “It’s debris! I think it’s coming from Taujeer!” The Castle turns and fully face the source of the sickly yellow light. 

It’s a planet for certain, with rock that seems to float on the surface of the vibrant light source that seems to be coming from the center of the planet, the rocks float on seas of magma, if that magma was bright, neon yellow. The land is twisted around in swirls, and I can see that the rocks around us look to be the same as the land on on the planet’s surface. Coran seems to notice this as well, tapping one of his holographic screens as he cries, “Correction, I think it  _ is  _ Taujeer!”

“Coran, what’s going o-” Allura’s voice is immediately cut out by loud static before it gives away completely. Immediately worry spikes so hard into my throat that I audibly choke as Coran turns back to look at us from over his shoulder, “Some kind of radiation from the planet is interfering with communications!”

Shiro sits up in his seat, both of his hands planted on the arm rests as he immediately snaps back in a strained tone, “Coran, move the Castle away from the planet and reestablish the link!” He turns over his shoulder to look at us, rising to his feet as he barks, “Everyone else, get to your lions! We’re headed down there.”

Without question we immediately split up to our separate elevators to take us down to our lions. My hands shake as I slam the door closed and I begin the descent down, fear is  _ gnawing  _ at my stomach, the silence of the elevator as I descend is deafening.  _ Keith and Allura are alone in space, a bait for Zarkon. They’re alone. In empty space. God, gods, any fucking deities and divine beings out there, I’m begging that neither Keith nor Allura are the sources that Zarkon is tracking. Please for the love of God let them not be his tracking source, I don’t know what I would do if they were to have to face Zarkon and his fleet down alone in nothing but a pod- _

My elevator doors open to my hanger, and I immediately race into my armory to get my armor on. I strip out of my shoes, socks, and pants to step into the flight suit, zipping it up while stepping into my armored boots and then clasping the rest of the armor on my legs, chest, and arms while I race to my lion. I don’t know why I’m in such a rush, I suppose it’s the spike of adrenaline; I pause as I approach her open maw. Her head is resting between her massive paws, like she was sleeping, but when I pause she opened her jaws to let me in. Something tickles my memory:  _ Silver touching her forehead to mine, the hand of a small child with skin like a clear night sky… _

I shake the thought away as I race inside and up the stairs, forcing down the fear and anxiety.  _ They’ll be okay. They’ll be okay.  _ I drop into my pilot’s seat and slide forward, Silver’s controls immediately popping up and the holographic panels roaring to life as she awakens. I grip her controls as she rises to her feet, and I press the hanger remote and launch out into space. The sickly green light of Taujeer bathes the interior of my cabin as I emerge from the Castle, my lion and I turning to face the planet. It can’t be normal, this color the planet emanates, it’s too bright, it’s almost like what I’d imagine radioactive waste looks like, and the entire  _ planet  _ is made up of it. 

Ahead of me, the Black Lion zooms ahead towards the planet’s surface with a purpose, and I quickly fall into formation as the others join us… save for the Red Lion. Over the com I hear Shiro say, “Pidge, can you do a scan for the planet for any life forms?”

“Roger that!” Pidge replies as we approach the planet’s surface. We hesitate to enter the planet’s atmosphere, and as I bring up my lion’s computer to analyze it I see that it’s a whopping 90% sulfur.  _ That’s definitely not a livable environment. Why would the Galra be here? _

“There’s only one place on the planet that has any signs of life, in an area no bigger than a street block just this way.” Pidge states in a matter of fact tone, and I look over to my right as Pidge projects a holographic image of the planet, pinging the location on one of the rocky stretches of land between the swirling, radioactive waste-like material that covers most of the planet’s surface. Wordlessly we fall in line with Shiro as he leads us to the location, delving into the planet’s atmosphere.

For a few, long seconds all I can see is the wispy, sickly yellow smoke of the planet’s atmosphere as we plunge until there’s a sudden break, just a mile or two above the surface. Below, the position where the only life forms on the planet are located, is a massive vessel. It’s set up like a tiered platter with a wide base about as big as my high school, a middle as big as the Castle’s foyer, and a small, tapered third layer on top about as large as a house. It’s made completely with some smoky gray metal intermixed with black highlights, and on one side of the main body of the tiered vessel is what looks like a huge turbine, as big as all of our lions put together, and on the other side is strips of scrap metal and a mess of debris. On either side of the vessel are two massive support beams that seem to be holding the vessel upright, rather than awkwardly leaning to the side with the weird imbalance of the ship’s and the turbine’s size.  _ Is that normal? That doesn’t seem like a vessel that can move, nevertheless get airborne. _

As we grow closer and lower ourselves to the ground, small forms race from the vessel outward, towards our position. They are vaguely humanoid, with stubby little legs and two sets of little arms branching from their sides, and they’re incredibly fat with a wide, fat tail behind them like a meaty beaver’s. One alien’s skin is a slightly olive color, perhaps from the blaring light from the sea of sickly green magma-looking substance to the right of the alien vessel, about a quarter of a mile away at most. The other alien’s is an ash-colored gray, like charcoal. I see no eyes, no ears, no noses, nothing on their faces save for something black, wrapped around the base of their fat necks and affixing something on the front of their face, almost like a muzzle; they kind of look like really fat worms with two sets of hands and feet.

Shiro touches down before their vessel and before the creatures that race forward, and as we land in formation behind him I hear Hunk’s voice, full of suspicion, over the com, “I don’t see any Galra!”

“Looks like the fancy Galra Finder didn’t work. Nice try, Pidge.” Lance snickers, and I can hear Pidge grumbling angrily under her breath, fortunately indistinctly.

Shiro comes over the line, “I’m going down there to see what’s going on, they look like they’re in trouble.” I blink and stand up from my seat a bit, my lion’s head bowing to get a view of the Black Lion’s feet as it kneels down in preparation to let Shiro out. I turn without a thought and race down the stairs to join him, tapping my helmet and activating the oxygen to make sure that I don’t suffocate as soon as I step outside.

As soon as the doorway into my lion opens, my body feels… heavier. Kind of like I just got loaded with a bunch of lead weights on every inch of my skin. It takes more effort to walk, to run, as I race out of my lion’s jaws towards the Black Lion. Shiro approaches the two alien forms I saw running out when we landed, who came to a stop several yards away from our lions. They’re a lot bigger up close, both are at least a head taller than Shiro, but their legs are no taller than my forearm, they’re so  _ tiny,  _ I can’t believe they are able to run with those.

The black muzzle over their face illuminates with intermittent flashes of kelly green as a robotic voice crackles, surprisingly, in English, “Thank goodness you’re here!” The alien who speaks’ voice sounds like those programs that purposefully deepen your voice to hide your identity, except with the bass turned  _ way  _ up.

I pause beside Shiro, looking up at the towering, bulky aliens. The alien who spoke, the one with a slightly more olive skin tone, is a few inches shorter than the second, and their voice, monotonous and robotic, carries through the dense air as their muzzle lights up with each word they speak, “I am Baujal, leader of these Taujeerians.” They turn with a chubby arm and point to their massive, tiered vessel as they continue in a methodical manner, “The Galra just destroyed our ship’s engines and then left us to die.”

Apparently, Pidge, Hunk, and Lance can hear the conversation from their places within their lions, as Pidge’s voice immediately retorts with a sassy tone over the com in my helmet, “So the Galra  _ were  _ here,  _ Lance.  _ ”

I can’t hear Lance’s retaliation as the alien speaks again, their words quickening with a terrified wave of their hands, “They’ve taken everything! We must get my people off of the planet before it dissolves completely,  _ please  _ help us!” Despite the robotic, monotonous voice that speaks, the wave of the alien’s hands and the tremble of their tails, the desperation is tangible as they eyelessly stare into Shiro and I.

Shiro nods with a set and determined gaze, “How long do we have?”

Almost as if on queue, the land beneath our feet rumbles. I grasp a hand on Shiro’s shoulder to brace myself as the land shakes, and far to our right, where the land meets the sickly green magma, a massive section as big as a house breaks off and tilts upward into the air, like a sinking ship as it slides into the yellowed lava. 

Hunk’s voice is full of anxiety as he cries, “Not long!”

I release my grip on Shiro, realizing that he too had grabbed onto me to steady himself in that moment because he doesn’t let go, keeping his hand planted on my shoulder as he stares at the sinking piece of land mass with wide eyes, “How did this happen?!”

The alien leader, Baujal, answers with the same robotic voice, “We knew for years that our planet would eventually lose its outer layer…” They pause and hang their head, and I think if it had eyes it would be looking with dejection at its feet.

Lance gasps in my ear from over the com, “Like a snake shedding its skin?!”

Hunk lets out an anxious breath, speaking like he’s trying to calm himself down, “Yeah yeah yeah, that doesn’t sound so bad, like, beneath that old skin is a new, healthy layer, right?”

The ground rumbles beneath our feet, and I feel Shiro’s grip on my shoulder tighten. I grasp his arm and steady myself, looking down at my feet with wide eyes. I can see a faint green light beneath the miniscule cracks in the earth under my feet, and I realize that the land we’re standing on may be a lot less stable than we thought it was when we landed. 

Sudden, animalistic fear climbs in my throat, and I’m idly reminded of how animals flee in the face of a natural disaster, like they can sense its coming. I’ve never given it much thought except in this moment, because every  _ inch  _ of my body is screaming for me to  _ run. _

Pidge smacks her lips over the com, “Uh, nope, I think the next layer’s acid.”

As the ground seems to settle, Baujal, who doesn’t even move as the shaking occurs, looks back up at us and begins to speak again, “The plan was to evacuate the population to the nearest moon, where we have already built a colony where most of my people are to wait out the shedding process.” Baujal points up at the sky, and just over the horizon through the dense, sulfuric smoke of the atmosphere I can vaguely see the outline of a large, gray and black celestial body in the distance. “So we relocated to higher ground, and constructed an ark.”

Shiro nods with understanding as he regards the Taujeerian vessel, held up seemingly only by the four massive pylons stuck deep into the ground. After a moment he asks with a gentler tone, “What happened?”

Baujal whirls back to us, and despite the robotic monotone I can feel the spitting fire in their words, “The Galra attacked, led by a vile commander named Morvok. He robbed us of vital resources and stole one of our two turbine engines,  _ stranding  _ us here.” Baujal points to the bare side of the vessel, where the scrap metal lies.

_ Some Galra bully just rolled into the area and stole their supplies, probably for no good reason other than because they could. How could one be so heartless… _

“Well you’re not stranded anymore.” Shiro states confidently, so much so that Baujal turns back to face him as he continues, “We will save your people.”

“I believe you.” Baujal states, their hands hanging at their sides, “I have heard many legends of the valor of Voltron, the six brave paladins, dedicated to the…” Baujal suddenly pauses as they turn their face up at our lions, and suddenly they murmur, “Wait wait… I only count five of you. Are you not Voltron?” The question sounds innocent with the robotic, monotonous tone, and I realize now that it’s probably some sort of transladazine, hence why the voice seems to be out of body with the alien themself.

“Where is the sixth paladin?” Baujal asks with both of their chubby hands palms up, their featureless face turned fully onto Shiro.

Shiro lets out an annoyed breath that fogs the glass of his helmet as he states in a surprisingly reassuring tone despite the frustration etched into his features, “He’s not here, but we can still help you.”

Baujal’s hands collapse to their sides as they sigh, “I would feel more comfortable with all six paladins.”

I frown and glare at Baujal, but before I can formulate a biting retort Shiro merely replies, “Duly noted.” He turns away from Baujal and faces our lions, peering up into the eyes of the Green Lion on the Black Lion’s left as he begins barking orders, “Pidge, Hunk, take a look at the ark and see what we’re dealing with.”

Hunk answers with a confident, fiery voice, “Piece of cake, we’ll get it flying in no time-”

Like the universe was intentionally trying to fuck with us, the ground begins to rumble, more violently this time. I grab onto Shiro with both hands as he nearly teeters and falls over, and suddenly a loud, and angry screech of ripping metal screams through the sulfuric air. Shiro and I look up with wide eyes to watch as the tiered ship suddenly rips off from the one surviving turbine, the support beams on either side crumbling overtop of it as the vessel falls to the ground with a mighty crash that causes the ground we stand on to shudder from the impact. I only release my breath once the dust has settled, and after a tense second of silence Hunk mumbles, “... Would they settle for upright?”

Shiro grabs my arm, pulling my backwards and then releasing me once I’m facing my lion. Obediently I run back inside, collapsing into my chair as Pidge speaks with a pent up breath, “Assuming we can get it back up, the repairs will still take time.”

We lift off of the ground as soon as the earth begins to tremble again, and when we hover in the air surrounding the Taujeerian’s ark the land where we were standing begins to give out, getting sucked into the acid waters licking below and leaving only about a mile or two of land between the ark and the growing sea of acid that threatens to overtake them. Luckily, Baujal and their compatriot escaped, their forms are receding towards their crashed vessel. The searing green light pulses in my cabin as Lance sighs in annoyance, “Which would appear to be the one thing we don’t have.”

“We need to slow down the shedding.” Shiro’s voice is level and even over the com, but Pidge immediately interrupts with an anxious voice, “But how do we stop a planet that’s coming apart at the seams?!”

Hunk gasps in revelation, and I can hear him snapping his fingers as he replies, “... By sewing it back together!”

There’s a beat of silence before Shiro replies, “What do you mean?”

Hunk answers with determination igniting his voice, “That new Green Lion weapon causes vegetation to grow, right? Well, if you can aim it at the cracks in the ground, the vines can act like stitches to hold the land with the ark together!”

I frown and press my palms against the controls, staring at the spitting acid surrounding the patch of land the ark rests on. I reply, “Wouldn’t the vines just melt when it touches the acid?”

There’s a moment of silence before Pidge replies with a voice that I can hear the wry grin over the com, “They would last longer if they were  _ frozen.  _ ”

Lance is most definitely grinning as he replies,  _ “Nice.” _

“It’s a plan.” Shiro verbally nods before he begins barking out orders, “Will, Hunk, you and I will try and get the ark upright while Pidge and Lance buy us some time.”

We make noises of affirmation as the Green and Blue Lions break away from our hovering formation and fly down to the surface. I watch as the gun the Green Lion had activated on Olkarion flares to life on its back, firing with extreme precision at growing, cavernous rips in the land, followed by Lance’s lion firing The Blue Lion’s ice beams from its jaws onto the vines, encrusting them with solid ice. I turn and follow the Yellow and Black Lions to the ark with a burst of my lion’s thrusters with all due haste.

Hunk snatches one of the massive support beams between his lion’s jaws despite each pylon being as thick around as his lion, yet he seems to hoist it into the air without much problem to get it off of the ark. I bring my lion close to one of the other four and as steadily as I can I lean my lion forward and bite her jaws into the metal. I hear the crunch within my cabin, and once I think we have a firm hold I pull back on the thrusters, pulling us and the pylon away from the vessel. 

I twist around and drop the pylon to the ground off to the side as Hunk calls, “My side’s clear, Shiro!”

“Almost done.” Shiro replies, and as I drop the support beam to the fragile ground I look up as the Black Lion drops the fourth and final support beam off to the side, fully uncovering the Taujeerian’s vessel.  _ Alright, that’s step one… _

“Yes, it’s working!” Pidge calls over the com excitedly, and I glance up to watch the Green Lion and the Blue Lion hovering in midair just over our heads. Below I spot their handiwork, the sickly light of the sea of acid causing the lines of ice to glimmer like diamond seams.

“It won’t hold forever. Keep going!” Shiro calls as the Black Lion hovers over the ark, and as I move to flank him Shiro commands, “Alright, Hunk, let’s get down there and start the repairs.”

Hunk groans under his breath, “Man, I sure hope this is easier than it looks... Can you guys knock the engine over onto its side? That way I can weld the ark to the engine without any disproportionate stress.”

The Yellow Lion lands on the ground by the ark as Shiro and I answer in unison, “On it!” I head over with Shiro to the turbine engine that remains upright on the surface. It’s too large for one lion to lift, but with both the Black Lion and White it shouldn’t be a problem to just knock it over. I look off to the side as the ground below our hovering lions rips open with another crack. The Green Lion and Blue Lion dive like eagles and seal it quickly. 

I quickly realize that Shiro and I shouldn’t just… drop the turbine onto its side. That’d be bad for the already deteriorating ground.

Shiro seems to get the same idea, “Will, take the left side and keep it from crashing into the ground, I’ll push it over.” I make a noise of acknowledgement. He moves his lion to the far side while I get on the side closest to the ark. I pause to a hover and I adjust the thrusters so that my lion and I are tilted towards the engine, so when it begins to fall we can catch it before it gains too much velocity to just crush me and Silver underfoot.

I hear Shiro’s strained breath over the com, and after a moment I feel the weight pushing down on Silver’s back. I adjust the thrusters almost to full capacity, allowing it to fall at a slow and steady pace. We descend, slowly but surely, and I can hear the plated metal of Silver’s back groaning as we begin to bear more and more of the weight of the turbine. 

Suddenly, when we’re close to touching down, the ground beneath my lion splits with a violent yellow burst of acid. I jolt, but when I push on the thrusters I realize that I’m basically bearing the full weight of the engine right now and can’t fly out of the way without dropping it into the acid.  _ Fuck. _

Suddenly, like a bolt of green lightning between my lion’s paws comes Pidge, blasting her gun at the crevice with vines and then immediately followed by the Blue Lion, freezing the vines in place and firmly holding the ground together. I let out a noise of relief, before I finally slide the White Lion out from beneath the engine and letting it fall to its side. Its flat side creaks with an ugly crash of metal as it presses right up against the Taujeerian vessel.  _ Luckily it’s not close enough to break it, but touching just enough for Hunk to weld and keep it together. _

“Alright, this should make things pretty easy!” Hunk cries confidently over the com. I set my lion down on the ground a ways away from the ship, next to the Yellow Lion, and off to my right Shiro touches down beside me. I watch through my lion’s eyes as Hunk races out of the jaws of his lion towards the turbine, and I feel a slight, giddy grin at how  _ tiny  _ he looks. There are very few times I would think Hunk as small, but next to the Taujeerian ark and his lion, he is like an ant. 

He activates his bayard, bearing the large gun - or perhaps small cannon - on his shoulder and aiming it at the point where the turbine engine meets the ship. With a bolt of hot, yellow energy he begins to cauterize the joint, the melting metal gluing the turbine to the vessel. From within my lion I can feel the ground occasionally rumbling, but with Pidge and Lance circling overhead like the opposite of vultures, no more cracks or crevices or chunks of the land give away while Hunk works, but it doesn’t do anything to ease my anxiety. I can’t wait for him to finish so he can get back into the safety of his lion. 

After a long time of bated breath, Hunk lets out an audible noise of relief. He drops his bayard down to his side as it disengages back into his suit, rolling his shoulders as he huffs over the com, “Well, it ain’t pretty, but it’ll get them airborne!” 

Hunk turns from the vessel and races back to his lion, and just as he enters his lion’s jaws some chunks of the land on the outer edges of the diminishing island give away, sinking into the acid.  Shiro lets out a relieved exhale, “Just in time.”

We rise in our lions after Shiro gives Baujal the all-clear, and after a few minutes the Taujeerian turbine engine roars to life. We watch as it blasts a consistent, burning burst of blue fire, and our hearts jointly lift as it begins to rise off of the planet’s surface.  _ We did it! _

Before any of us can even begin to cheer, a bolt of violet light jabs down from the sky just to the side of the vessel, causing it to veer off and collapse back down to the weak surface of the planet.

“What was that?!” Pidge gasps as we make varying disheartened noises. I turn my lion to face the source of the blast as the bitter taste of bile rises from my throat.

“The Galra,” Shiro growls lowly, “They found us.”

Above us hovers a massive Galra cruiser, a black shadow over the sickly yellow landscape. It’s far bigger than the other cruisers we’ve seen, at least two or three times the size, with an ion cannon resting on top of rows and rows and rows of blasters that line the ship like windows in a skyscraper. It isn’t Zarkon’s command ship, but it’s definitely no simple battlecruiser, and most importantly this simply  _ can’t  _ be a coincidence. Zarkon’s known for sending his lackeys when they’re in the area, so perhaps he is farther away than we thought he was. He couldn’t wait, so he sent another vessel. 

I can’t help but let out an annoyed growl, “Just so y’all know, I am  _ totally  _ doing the  _ ‘I told you so’ _ to Keith and Allura when they get back. Speaking of which, we should tell them to come back now that the Galra are, you know,  _ here. _ ”

Another powerful burst of violet lasers fire down onto the Taujeerian vessel, but to our great delight they miss, instead striking the ground below it. However, not to our great delight, the lasers cut into the weak earth and cause massive chunks to give away, and the landmass that the ship is resting on immediately begins to teeter precariously, like a seesaw with too much weight on one side.  _ Perhaps it wasn’t a miss at all, rather more of a strategy to send the ark into the acid. _

_ Monsters. _

“Hunk!” Shiro barks frantically, “Take the Yellow Lion and hold up the ark!” I watch as the Yellow Lion immediately blasts after the slowly teetering vessel as Shiro continues with a worried breath, “If it falls into the acid, the Taujeerians are doomed!”

Hunk grumbles angrily as the Taujeerian ship begins to slide closer to the acid, the Yellow Lion slipping beneath and out of sight, “And the guy beneath them, which would be  _ me  _ in this particular scenario!”

“Lance, Will, Pidge, we’ve gotta draw that cruiser’s fire!” Shiro orders. As the Black Lion charges up into the sky towards the Galra cruiser we immediately follow after in tight formation. I press forward on the controls, wisps of yellow smoke breaking apart before my lion as we soar into the atmosphere. As we begin to rise, Shiro barks over the com, “Coran, we need you here  _ now  _ ! Attack the Galra cruiser!”

“I’m on my way!” Coran barks in response, “I got in contact with Keith and Allura, they’re on their way back!”

“I’m  _ so  _ gonna kick their asses when they get here.” I grumble under my breath but when we come onto the Galra cruiser I have to force the thought from my mind to focus. Immediately beams of violet lasers blast out towards us in short rays, like focused versions of the second ro-beast’s eyes in its arms back on the Balmera.  _ Okay, fire drawn. _

We dodge the violet lasers with ease, slipping between lasers like snakes weaving between sticks.  _ That ro-beast definitely gave us a lot of practice in dodging beams.  _ I twist my controls and barrel roll the White Lion to the side just in time to avoid a blast, and I swell with pride at the fact that I just did a barrel roll  _ without  _ crashing into something or losing control of my lion.  _ Pat myself on the back.  _ I engage the cannon in my lion’s mouth, firing on the side of the cruiser where the oncoming fire is coming from. The metal plating hanging over it smokes, searing its frame but the lasers are hidden well beneath them, I can’t strike them without getting right up next to it, which is impossible without getting a blast right to the face. 

I veer off and twist about, and as I come back for another attack, I notice the spork, the ion cannon on top of the vessel, is turning with slow certainty, away from us and down to the planet’s surface.  _ The Taujeerians. _

“They’re aiming the ion cannon at the ark!” Shiro cries over the com no sooner do I notice the spork’s movement, “Lance, Pidge, try to grab their attention again and fire on the cruiser! Will, activate your lance and help me with the cannon!”

“I’m with you!” I respond as I smash the lance button on my dash and then dash forward, pushing the thrusters into full capacity. My lion and I barrel towards the ion cannon as my lion’s jaws part, a flash of white illuminating the yellowed air as her lance extends from between her teeth. Beneath me I see the Blue Lion, with a jawblade on the left side of its mouth, ripping into the side of the ship with a stripe of ripped, blackened metal. Ahead of me, coming from the other side of the ship and headed straight towards me is the Black Lion.

“Fly under me and cut into the joint on my side, hopefully our weapons cutting in the same spot can weaken the cannon enough to divert the blast away from the Taujeerians!” Shiro barks. I make a sound of affirmation as we race towards each other at breakneck speeds. Just before we collide, I duck down, twisting my lion’s head with a flick of my wrist to tear the lance into the side of the cannon right as Shiro’s jawblade rends the metal above it. No sooner do we peel away does the ion cannon twist and fall to the side, right as it goes off with a violent blast of a deadly violet beam. Fortunately, instead of striking the Taujeerian vessel it blasts the sloping side of the patchwork land beside it, causing boulders and rocks to spray into the air… and towards the ship.  _ We can’t catch a fucking break- _

“Rocks. ROCKS!” Hunk cries, but before panic rises in my throat I let out a breath of relief when I see the Blue and Green Lions’ already zooming down below, pouncing on the rocks to send them away from the vessel. Lance cries, “We got you, Hunk!”

The ion cannon continues to discharge without pause, burning a hole into the fragmenting land and into the acid as the cruiser, almost in retaliation, begins to fire all of its lasers from the sides in all different directions, with no direction or aim, just wild blasts all around so that there’s almost nothing but the violent blast of lasers through the sickly air. I duck and roll out of the way of the oncoming lasers just as thousands of blue bolts rain down from the sulfuric sky onto the Galra cruiser. I look up with a slight sigh of relief as I spot the Castle of Lions overhead, the blue shots biting like the stings of wasps into the cruiser’s plated back.

Shiro lets out a breath of relief, “Way to go, Coran!” 

“The Castle’s power system is still incredibly weak from the power divergence we did yesterday, I’m afraid this is about as much help as you’re going to get!” Coran replies with a high pitched and stressed tone. 

Shiro makes a noise of affirmation before he barks, “Hunk, what’s your status?”

I peer down at the Taujeerian vessel below. It’s still sliding, albeit slowly, towards the sea of sickly acid as the land grows more and more sloped, but just beneath the vessel a speck of daffodil yellow is pressed firmly against it. Hunk lets out an anxious breath, “Mostly just trying not to fall into a bubbling pot of acid!”

“I’ll go down and he- _ shit!  _ ” I narrowly dodge out of the way in time as the Galra cruiser’s guns renew with full force, blasting violet beams in all different directions and making any sort of movement impossible, even without trying to incorporate attacks. I dodge to the side and try to find my bearings, but all I can see are the oncoming violet shots that slice through the sky, I can’t even tell which way is up and which is down, I’m just knee jerk dodging, rolling, surviving the oncoming fire. 

I hear Lance’s voice skyrocketing with anxiety, “We’re being overwhelmed!”

“We need Voltron!” Pidge cries in response, her voice is high pitched in stress and tension. I duck beneath an oncoming laser just as another beam grazes the side of my lion, a hot burn radiates from my shoulder to my hip. I hiss, but with adrenaline coursing through my veins I don’t give it a second thought, barrel rolling to the side and out of the way as another blast fires on me.  _ Fuck, I can barely dodge, nevertheless attack! _

“Okay, uh, guys, so uh… The Red Lion kind of just sort of… ran away.” Coran’s voice comes sheepishly over the com, like he’s admitting he ate the last of the cookies. 

I blink, barely dodging out of the way of another beam as I shout, “It just  **_what?!_ ** _ ” _

“I can’t… hold it any longer!” Hunk’s voice is strained, terrifyingly strained that jerks me back into the moment right as a laser strikes my lion straight in the back. A shot of hot fire burns the middle of my back between my shoulderblades, I let out a gasp of pain as I grip my controls tighter and focus intensely on the battle cruiser’s fire.  _ Jesus Christ, I haven’t been this intensely dodging since the first day of training!  _

Shiro immediately barks in response, “Hunk, you have to! If you let go, the Taujeerians will die!”

Nothing but adrenaline courses through my veins as my lion and I twist about, trying to hone in towards the Galra cruiser by following the source of the infinite lasers, but I can barely see its black outline through the sulfur and the violet rays. Blindly I fire off my lion’s mouth laser, the blast rumbling the cabin as I barely leap out of the way of oncoming fire, I don’t even know if it hit or not,  _ have to break away, have to help Hunk before he- _

Hunk gasps with sudden, newfound enthusiasm, “Whoa,  _ armor claws!! _ ”

“What?!” Lance cries in confusion, and as his com is activated I can hear the dull hum of the wild lasers flying askew around the Galra vessel.  _ Maybe we should coordinate some sort of attack to get these beams to quit- _

“Okay, guys, I can keep this thing from falling any farther, but I need your help to get it back up!” Hunk barks commandingly, and by some divine luck as I barrel roll out of the way of another beam the drop pull me beneath the sulfuric cloud line. I let out a breath of relief as I catch view of the surface below, the ark and of the Yellow Lion beneath it, a small form the barrier between it and the acid just a mere…  _ few yards  _ away from the Yellow Lion. The beams from the Galra cruiser seem to faced more upwards towards the Castle of Lions, protected with the sky blue particle barrier.  _ For the moment I’m free. Now I gotta get to Hunk. _

“We’re on our way!” Shiro calls, and now that the cruiser’s attention is momentarily diverted I immediately dive down to the Yellow Lion’s position at the base of the Taujeerian vessel. I press my lion’s shoulder against the ship with violent force, practically crashing against it in my dash to assist. With a push on the controls we strain and push on the ship up the sloped rock. As I glance over at the Yellow Lion out of the corner of my eye, I see that there’s massive armor now plating the Yellow Lion’s back, the armor itself is pushing upward against the ship to keep it in place. In addition to it are massive claws, almost like fist weapons enhanced on his lion’s already large paws. They’re about twice as big as my own lion’s claws, and they’re digging deep in the earth to keep the Yellow Lion stable.  _ Huh, that’s a nice trick!  _

I feel the ship begin to give, pushing back up the slope, and I look to my left and my right to see the Green, Black, and Blue Lions have joined us, pushing the ship with more and more ease up the slope.  _ Thank God, we’ll have them stable soon… but is the Castle alone still distracting the Galra cruiser? _

I twist about for a better angle so I can look up, but as soon as I peer upwards at it I watch the ion cannon…  _ popping  _ off the Galra cruiser, like a champagne top, and then falling slowly through the dense atmosphere, twirling end over end before it crashes into the acidic ocean with a wide, echoing ripple that splashes up the side of the land, followed by a flash of something small and red whizzing by.

The others seemed to also have noticed the fall, and immediately cheer in victory. I can hear Shiro’s smile even over the com, “Good to have you back, Keith!”

“Good to be back.”

I’m ashamed to admit how a wave of immediate relief washes over me when Keith’s voice comes over the com. I grit my teeth, covering the relief immediately with red-hot anger that boils and overcomes the relief like throwing sand over a puddle.

I want to get pissed, I want to  _ be  _ pissed instead of so fucking relieved, and frankly it isn’t hard, the rage spikes up like a spark of a match. I am absolutely  _ beyond  _ pissed that Keith and Allura left without telling anyone, pissed that they said nothing before they  _ left- nope. Time to shove that stupid amount of relief that welled up like tears in my throat and the bitter anger that compensated for it into a box with no label to be left unopened in some dusty corner of my head until we get the Taujeerians to safety. We’ve got bigger problems than dealing with emotions. _

“Is the Princess with you?!” Lance cries with a strange tone I’ve never heard, something like a mixture of anxious and demanding.

“Yes.” Keith answers curtly. 

This apparently isn’t enough for Lance as he continues to prod, “Like,  _ ‘with you’ _ with you, or-”

“Uh, Keith? Little help?” Hunk interrupts,  _ thank fucking god,  _ to which Keith immediately replies with a warm, probably appreciative tone, “I’m on my way, buddy!”

The Taujeerian ship suddenly begins to rise at an increased rate with our combined effort, I don’t bother to search for the Red Lion’s presence pressed against the side of the ship. A little part of me wants to kick myself for wanting to, to make sure he’s there.  _ Fucking shut up, Will. _

Finally, the sink of the land the Taujeerian ship rests upon eases, the slope evening out as we shove the ship into the center. After a few seconds, we let out a relieved breath as it rests on solid ground again, now that the ground isn’t leaning precariously on one side like a sinking ship in an ocean of acid. 

Together our gazes turn to the Galra cruiser above us, being rained with fire from the Castle. However, it still remains relatively unscathed.  _ This ship is a particularly tough boy, I wonder where these were when we were at Zarkon Central? Good thing they weren’t, ‘cause I’m not sure if we’ll be able to just bust through it with fists alone. The sword will probably work to take out the guns and stuff but not disembowel it like we can with the usual cruisers…  _

Shiro’s voice, full of almost smug pride, coaxes us together over the com, “Alright everybody, no time to relax. Let’s show them what they’re dealing with. Form Voltron!”

We launch off of the ground and our essences intertwine. 

Just like before when we formed in the mechanical storm, I immediately recognize Pidge’s essence, distinct and clear like a refined chord rather than a hazy outline, but this time there’s more. There’s a second chord, just as definite if not more tangible than hers, and as I entwine myself around it I realize it’s Hunk. ‘ _ Wow I can’t believe that worked, that was so cool, armor claws, that’s a neat trick, now gotta focus and relax to do the th-... Whoa, what the, Pidge? Oh my god, that’s Pidge, and oh my god, Will!-’  _

Pidge’s internal voice is quick, curt, and stressed,  _ ‘Hunk, will you fucking relax, it’s just us-’  _

“ _ OooOOOOH  _ holy crow, this is so weird, I can hear you thinking! Pidge, holy m- oh my gosh, this is so cool, is that what you were talking about yester- yes it was, okay I can hear you saying  _ ‘Shut up Hunk, it’s time to fight bad guys’ _ -”

“Hunk, can we focus, please?” I let out a bout of pent up air that I didn’t realize I was holding as I peer out through the chest of Voltron and turn towards the Galra cruiser overhead.

“Oh, shit, you’re angry, okay, sorry-” Hunk grumbles. I feel a sting of shame well in my throat.  _ I’m not pissed at you, Hunk, I’m sorry- _

_ ‘Dude, relax.’  _ That’s Pidge. We’re talking. We’re talking telepathically right now. What the fuck. 

_ ‘You’re right, we should focus.’  _ There’s Hunk, surprisingly charismatic- ‘ _ Hey, I heard that! Err, is it hearing if-’ _

_ ‘HUNK. FOCUS.’  _

“Did we just have a mental conversation?” Hunk’s voice is beyond ecstatic.” Wow, we did,  _ oh my crow this is so co-  _ ”

“What are you freaking  _ talking  _ about?!” Lance cries in confusion and vague hysteria.

“Now’s not the time for chatter, we’ve gotta focus and take that Galra cruiser down.” Shiro cuts in,  _ thankfully.  _ However as we launch into the air towards the Galra cruiser it to begins to turn towards us, but it’s pointing its nose down past us, down below…  _ towards the sh- _

“They’re headed for the ark!” Pidge cries, echoing my thoughts as Hunk’s voice overlaps her’s, “They’re gonna ram it!”

I frown, staring at the Galra cruiser as it begins to descend, “... They’re going to kill themselves to destroy the Taujeerians.”  _ They’re leaving us no choice. They’re dying no matter how this ends, so they’re gonna try and take the Taujeerians out with them. Is there no end to the Galra capacity for monstrosity? Not gonna lie, I’m not too upset that at least I don’t have to worry about chasing down anymore scraps-  _

_ ‘Will,’  _ Hunk thinks,  _ ‘That’s kind of messed up.’ _

I curl my lip and force a projection of my thoughts out to him,  _ ‘Then why don’t you stay out of my head?’ _

“We’ll have to meet them head on!” Shiro barks, “Form sword!”

The Red Lion purrs, and with a ring of metal Voltron smashes its fists together and produces the long sword with a blaze of blue light. We ascend into the atmosphere towards the nose diving ship, but when looking at the sword and the size of the massive cruiser, it suddenly seems… rather small. I’m worried we’ll be knocked to the side when we collide into the ship.  _ ‘It’s slowly growing faster with each passing second, with this gravity and this angle and with its current momentum I estimate-’  _

“Um, will the sword be able to cut through an entire battle cruiser?!” Lance’s voice is high pitched with anxiety as Voltron soars forward and cutting into Pidge’s rapid thoughts, the plunging cruiser getting closer by the second.

“It’ll have to!” Shiro answers lowly in response.

Suddenly, I’m overwhelmed with a feeling, like a pulse between my fingertips emanating from this strange, pseudo headspace where our entwined essences reside. Immediately I can hear Pidge and Hunk’s conjoined voices in my head, ‘ _ I feel a heartbeat in my chest, my lion is purring…’ ‘The panel to my right just opened with a bayard sized hole in it, my lion knows what to do-’ _

Keith’s voice suddenly cuts in over the com, “Uh, guys, I think my lion’s telling me something!”

“So’s mine!” Lance gasps in response, followed by Pidge and Hunk immediately crying in unison, “Mine too!”

“Well then do it!” Shiro snaps, and suddenly, like the base of a song cranked at full volume, my entire cabin vibrates with the force as all four of the lions, Blue, Green, Red, and Yellow, purring in unison. Power wells in each lion and is sent like a bolt of lightning straight into the Red Lion and then beyond… into the sword. I turn and gaze down Voltron’s arm and see that Keith’s sword, what was once as long as a street, is now about as tall as a skyscraper, perhaps even as big as if not even bigger than Voltron itself, with a thicker base and a curve at the edge of the blade like a scythe.  _ Whoa, that’s so freaking cool. ‘-Dude,  _ **_nice_ ** _ -’ ‘Oh my gosh I still can’t believe I can hear you guys! What  _ **_is_ ** _ this?’ _

I close my eyes and focus my thoughts into a sentence - ‘ _ Nut about it later, Hunk.’ _

Without question, we raise Voltron’s arms as we approach the battle cruiser with the sword over our heads. We duck beneath the front of the ship just as we’re about to collide and instead slice the massive blade through the underbelly of the cruiser, rending it nearly in half as we blast through it. I keep Voltron barrelling forward at full thrusters to jointly hold the Green and Red Lions firm overhead, and only when we slice clean through the ship does the massive crevice we created explode, scraps of metal sent flying through the smoky air. 

A wave of chain reactions follow the explosion, utterly reducing the ship into nothing but scrap metal that rains down into the acidic ocean below, and fortunately far away from the Taujeerian ship.  _ They were going to die one way or another, they were either going to die this way or by crashing into the Taujeerian ship. It was us or them… That makes me sick. _

_ ‘-We had no other choice… Right?’  _ Pidge’s thoughts float into my mind right as there’s a cut to Hunk’s more abrupt words  _ ‘-I’m gonna just keep telling myself that we had no other choice, at least, let’s definitely not too think too hard about that, this is just like back at Zarkon Cent-… oh right you can hear my thoughts right now. This is uncomfortable. Maybe we should be qui-’ _

_ ‘You’re the only one who’s talking, Hunk.  _ I think I’m starting to get a hang of this… communication. It’s bizarre, it’s like speaking except you have little to no filter because there’s no tongue barrier.  _ How the fuck  _ **_is_ ** _ this possible anyway- _

We all let out breaths of relief and joy at the end of the threat, and like the release of tension in our collective shoulders Voltron disengages the massive broadsword it summoned.  _ ‘So, more than one of our bayards can form a weapon for Voltron. I wonder what combinations will make what? Or if there even is that many? Why did the four of us need to use our bayards to make the greatsword? Why not just Keith? Why not just Keith and I? Why not-’  _

_ ‘My head hurts, I’m too tired to think about this, please, Pidge, have mercy.’  _ We turn towards the Taujeerian’s ship where it rests on the ground, out of harm’s way for the moment, but not for long.

Shiro catches onto my thinking, “Now let’s go get the Taujeerians to safety.”

“How are we gonna do that?” Hunk asks, and as we look on we watch the vessel’s turbine, the turbine that Hunk had spent a half hour cauterizing to the side of the ship, break off like the snapping of a thick twig. We watch with wide, horrified eyes as it crashes to the ground, rolling down the slowly sloping land and into the acid sea. 

Hunk sighs, and in my mind’s eye I can see him gesturing to the sinking engine with a  _ case in point  _ expression, “Their engine’s kind of… gone, now.”

All’s silent as we watch the vessel, thinking furiously before Shiro states, “Then we’ll carry it.”

We don’t argue, we don’t dispute: we follow. We dive down to the surface towards the ship, landing with a solid  _ thud _ on the ground. Pidge and Keith in their lions reach forward and worm under the massive vessel, at least three times bigger than we are, and wedge themselves beneath it to lift it up a little. I shift Voltron to a low crouch, shoving us beneath the opening Pidge and Keith made to get a better, stronger grip, and before long we have the ship positioned firmly on our shoulders.  _ ‘Preparing full thrusters _ - _ ’ _ Hunk and Lance press up from below, and I immediately flip the switches to engage the thrusters in Voltron’s back at full capacity, pushing the Taujeerian’s vessel up and into the sky.

The loud hum of maximum thrusters fills my cabin, a comforting white noise as we slowly leave Taujeer behind, floating instead upward into empty space. As we leave the heavy gravity behind, holding the ship is more like guiding a frisbee than lifting a stone globe, thanks to zero gravity, but we keep Voltron positioned firmly beneath the vessel nonetheless for ease of maneuverability. We circle around the planet until we spot a small moon, about a fourth the size of Taujeer, rotating around the acidic planet.

“This must be the moon Baujal mentioned. Let’s set them down there.” Shiro’s voice breaks the white noise, and I slightly alter the thrusters in our back to change our trajectory to aim us towards the moon.

It feels like ages until we finally arrive, circling the thin atmosphere of the moon. Immediately we can see where the bulk of the Taujeerian population is, a collection of arks much like the one we carry sticking out on one side ‘ _ like a man made sore _ .’ 

I raise an eyebrow, ‘ _ But wouldn’t it be a Taujeerian made sore?’ _

_ ‘Hey, that’s rude, they can’t help looking like thumbs!’ _

Pidge and I are quiet before both of us abruptly break out into wild, uncontrolled laughter. The com is quiet, no doubt Lance, Keith, and Shiro are utterly confused as we quiet down. Hunk’s silent for a long moment before I hear his voice float within my thoughts,  _ ‘You guys suck.’  _

We slow our descent as we approach the moon, the surface gray and black like hardened ash. Slowly but steadily we land on the moon’s surface with the ark born on our shoulders. Out of my lion’s eyes through Voltron’s chest I can see a massive collection of aliens below, at a safe distance fortunately, watching our arrival. Carefully we maneuver Voltron out from beneath the ship to set it down on the ground at a safe distance from the collected Taujeerians. We take a step away once it touches down and with a deep sigh of relief we release our ties to one another and disassemble into our individual lions without direction to do so. We know when our job is done. 

Below I can see the ark we bore open up like a Christmas card and hundreds, at least a thousand Taujeerians spill out, greeting the accumulated population already on the planet with vague… chest bumps?  _ Pfft, that’s adorable. _

“Alright,” Shiro’s voice breaks the silence as our lions collect, hovering over the moon’s surface, “Let’s take the Princess back to the Castle.” Idly, I wonder if Allura can hear us, but then I remember the little gems in her ears, her communicators that she always wears. 

_ Just in case any of us called, she would answer. _

Bitter bile rises in my throat as my anger returns with full force as I remember how we started this morning.  _ Can’t help feeling that that’s a little hypocritical, right now. _

I’m in a vaguely red haze I return my lion to her hanger. Once I close the hanger door and Silver settles, lying down with her head between her paws, I rise from my seat slowly, feeling every muscle move from the action. I turn and head down the stairs and out of my lion’s mouth with quiet, slow footsteps into my armory, stripping out of my armor and my flight suit to put my clothes back on. 

That’s when I feel the burn. As soon as I push my suit down, I feel the unpleasant rub of raw skin beneath my shirt, causing me to hiss at the rough contact. I step out of my flight suit more gingerly, pulling my pants back on as my right hand reaches around and touches the burn experimentally. It’s not bad, it’s like I pressed my body against a really big and hot stove but just for a second, but it  _ does  _ ache. I doubt it’s anything like that shot I took back on Olkarion, and frankly, considering all the other injuries I’ve had, this one is rather mild.  _ Wow, that’s pretty fucking wild that a burn about twice as big as my hand is mild. How far I’ve come.  _

Once I’m dressed, I head up to the bridge.

Inside the others have accumulated, back in their day-to-day clothes, in Allura’s circle at the center of the bridge. Coran, Lance, Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro cluster together once they exit from their respective elevators, all facing the Red Lion’s elevator like parents waiting for their kids to arrive late to curfew. 

Allura and Keith emerge. Allura’s bearing her plated Voltron armor with the winged symbol over her chest a pastel pink like she was ready to fight and Keith’s in his normal clothes with that stupid, fucking ugly jacket like he never even left. I move to stand just behind Shiro, somewhat shielded by the group as we all collectively stare Allura and Keith down. It’s unsaid, but Allura picks up quickly on what we’re expecting.

“I’m so sorry for leaving.” Allura’s sapphire gaze is downcast, her hands clasped in front of her with a sincere waver in her voice. 

Keith stands just behind her with his hands at his sides, but as he meets our conjoined gazes head on he doesn’t waver for a second as he continues where Allura left off, “... Me too. We thought we were doing the right thing.” 

Burning hot anger burns within me, like slow cooked food that was left for too long. I grit my jaw to suppress it, I  _ should  _ suppress it, but I find my tongue getting the best of me. “Yeah, you fucking better be.” The words slip out of my mouth without my brain’s permission, the thought’s already out in the open before I can even begin to think about what it was I just said, whether it should be said. 

Allura’s gaze is wide and startled and I feel Coran shooting me a disapproving look to my right, I think if this were any other situation I think he would’ve told me off for swearing at Allura, but I’m not really looking at her as I speak. I know she’s sorry, I know that she’s  _ truly  _ sorry.

Shiro looks at me with a wide, surprised gaze over his shoulder as Allura looks down sheepishly at her hands, but I keep my gaze firmly pinned on Keith. As soon as I speak his gaze snaps to me and when our eyes lock he stares right back, expressionless, resolute, and almost challenging, like this is nothing but a common staring contest. For once the eye contact doesn’t bother me in the slightest, I don’t even get an inkling’s desire to back down from it. I can see it on his face, in his eyes that glint like stars reflecting on a calm pool in the deep of night, that he isn’t really sorry, not in the slightest. Given the chance, I know for a fact that he would do it again if he thought what he was doing was  _ doing the right thing _ and  _ that’s  _ what pisses me off so much.  _ Does he even care- _

I almost get even  _ more  _ pissed that he’s so calm about it, too. I almost want him to get mad back at me, it would make me feel that my anger is justified, but the fact that he doesn’t, that he  _ isn’t  _ makes my rage boil under my collar so  _ fucking much- _

“... Clearly, you were correct, Shiro.” Allura speaks with a soft, apologetic tone as Shiro turns to meet her azure gaze, “We’re always stronger together.”

“Well,” I hear Lance’s voice right beside me and see his relaxed expression in my peripheral, his arms are crossed and his shoulders are lax, “At least we know that Zarkon isn’t tracking us through you two.”

Allura nods solemnly, her hands clasped in her lap as she closes her eyes, “Indeed. Fortunate for us when the Red Lion came when it did, for all of our sakes. I’m unsure if you would be able to-” 

“Wait,” Pidge suddenly cuts in, her eyebrows furrowed at Allura, “What do you mean, when the Red Lion came when it did?” 

Keith and Allura briefly look at one another with a shared look I can’t quite decipher as Allura answers with an abashed tone, “... The extra turbine that Pidge added onto the vessel…  _ may  _ have caused it to explode.” Before any of us get scared, worried, or upset she waves her hands frantically, “But don’t worry! It ejected us just in time, we were uninjured. But we would still be a significant distance away has the Red Lion not come to our aid.” 

Hunk’s eyebrows raise as he speaks, “The Red Lion… it came to you? On its own?” When I glance over at him I see he has his fist clenched in front of him like he’s holding horse feed in preparation for offering. 

Shiro turns to us, his gaze firm and fixed as we digest this information, “The fact that the Red Lion came for Keith… this is a vital piece of information.” I blink slowly, suddenly losing my anger as confusion takes its place as Shiro continues, “We now have proof that a lion and a paladin can, in fact, connect over a far greater distance than we realized.”

Finally, it clicks as the red mist seems to dissolve. I recall Coran’s voice during the laser firefight,  _ ‘Ah, guys, the Red Lion kind of just… ran away’.  _ I didn’t think of it at the time, I was just trying to survive, but then, minutes later, Keith came rolling in and ripping the ion cannon from the cruiser’s back. 

_ The Red Lion went to him to protect them. Right, because their pod fucking exploded apparently- _

“Which means we finally know how Zarkon is tracking us.” Shiro murmurs, his gaze falls down as his jaw sets in a hard line, “It’s through the Black Lion.”

There’s only a brief moment of awkward silence before Hunk suddenly jumps in excitement, “Oh!” We turned to him with expressions of mixed surprise as he holds up his hands, like he’s about to play an invisible piano, “Oh my crow, guys, speaking of big revelations here, I learned that my lion can grow armor and extend its claws like  _ ‘ching’!  _ ” Hunk curls his fingers as a case in point, before he relaxes them and shrugs idly, “Which will come in handy if we ever needed to, say… I don’t know, to slice up a giant steak while we’re getting beat up?”

I can tell he’s trying to lighten our moods from the tension with Keith and Allura leaving and Shiro’s dark revelation, but frankly, it’s taking all of my energy not to … do something. I don’t know what, but I can definitely feel that I’m reining in control like my fury is a wild stallion that refuses to fucking listen. Apparently no one else feels like it’s necessary to say anything either, so Hunk rubs the back of his neck awkwardly when he’s met with awkward silence, “Or fight evil and save innocent people, that too, that would work.” 

Hunk snaps his fingers suddenly, worming one of his hands to the collar of his shirt as he gasps again with growing excitement, “Oh, and oh my gosh you guys, Pidge, Will, you can officially add me to the medallion club!” From within his shirt Hunk produces a chain, and connected at the end sure enough is a stone, just like the White Lion’s and the Green Lion’s stones. Hunk’s is a soft, daffodil yellow in the center, growing harder and more defined as it radiates outward like a gradient as it morphs from the pastel yellow to a hard, sharp yellow like a school bus on the very edges. It doesn’t look so much as a smoothed stone like mine, which I touch idly where it rests on my chest, it looks more like it was broken straight from a cliff face.

Lance lets out an indignant noise, holding out his hands towards Hunk with a dramatic flair, “ _ What?! You too?! _ What is up with this,  _ what’s-?! _ ”

Pidge steps forward and I watch her hand migrate to her own neck, resting it over her stone where it probably lies under her baggy hoodie as she speaks, “Actually, Will and I were talking about it while we were on Olkarion. I think we came up with a theory as to why we’re getting these stones.”

Shiro raises an eyebrow curiously, peering at Pidge questioningly, “Have you determined a pattern? Or any hints at what they do?”

Pidge nods, jutting a thumb at me as she moves to stand at my side, “Will got his stone as soon as he got his lion, so we all just assumed it was because of that test thing he had to take.” I shove my hands into my pant pockets as she tugs on the chain from beneath her hoodie, pulling her stone from beneath, “But then, as you guys know, I got mine back on Olkarion.” The stone pulses vibrantly in a regular rhythm, it’s noticeably stronger than when I saw it back on Olkarion, almost like it’s a living, beating heart.  _ Growing stronger as time passes. _

With the change of conversational direction, I’m surprised at how even my voice is as I nod and pick up where she leaves off, gesturing to Hunk, “And now, with Hunk activating that armor claw thing he mentioned, I think that it confirms our theory that getting the stone is some sort of… symbol, a gift from our lions or something that shows that we’ve bonded with them. Pidge got hers after she unlocked the big vine gun on her lion’s back, and Hunk got his after he got his… armor claws.”

Hunk raises an eyebrow, dropping his stone to rest over his henley as he taps his chin, “So, like a tangible thing for an unlocked achievement?”

Lance pouts, sweeping his hands to the side dismissively, “There’s no way, I’m super bonded with my lion, and I don’t have a cool rock thing!”

Shiro is quiet, staring intently from Pidge, to Hunk, and to me before he speaks in a low tone, “Maybe you’re right.” He looks down with furrowed eyebrows at his boots, his voice is pensive and far away as he continues, “Maybe that’s why Zarkon still has a powerful connection, because I haven’t bonded as well with my lion like I thought I was.”

“That’s not it either!” Hunk gasps again in excitement, snapping his fingers at Pidge and I, “Guys, tell them about the whole telepathy thing!” 

“Excuse me, the  **_what?!_ ** ” Lance shouts dramatically, shocked and appalled. 

I glance over at Pidge with a raised eyebrow, fiddling with my stone as I turn to the team as a collective, “We’ve started to… I don’t know, it’s really weird. When we formed Voltron back at the mechanical storm, Pidge and I kind of had this… connection. Like, we’re all connected when we form Voltron, but with Pidge and I it was so intense, like when we got together I could tell it was her and she could tell it was me and we kind of just-” 

“I honestly couldn’t tell you where I began and where Will ended. We could hear each other’s thoughts.” Pidge answers for me, her hands shoved into her hoodie pockets as her stone hums, rested on her chest. “I have no idea how, but given our hypothesis of the stones being a gift from being ultimately bonded with our lions, it makes sense that since we’re both bonded to our lions, when we’re in Voltron we can bind to each other as our lions, literally, bind to each other.” 

Shiro frowns, his brow set as his gaze flickers to Allura, who remains silently with her hands in her lap through this exchange, “Did something like this happen with the former paladins?” 

Allura peers off to the side, deep in thought before she shakes her head, “I haven’t the faintest idea. I never recall my father mentioning anything about a stone that bonds lions together.” 

Something deep in my subconsciousness triggers, a memory I didn’t even realize I had as words spill out of my mouth, “They did. They did have them.” 

The team pauses, glancing over at me with mixed expressions of surprise and confusion, but as soon as the words are past my lips I know they’re true. I remember the dream vividly, sitting around a table with the five other people, the lights on their chests… “I had this weird dream this morning, and… I know this is weird but I think my lion was showing me the former Paladins.” The others are silent, but before they question me further I throw my hands in the air, “But I literally didn’t remember until you just said that, I keep remembering bits and pieces at random times, but… in that, I’m certain; they had the stones, too.” 

Lance crosses his arms, shooting me a displeased look, “Back at it again with your freaky dreams, Will?”

Typically this wouldn’t have bothered me in the slightest but something about this moment in time I feel like I’m already on such a short fuse to the point that this comment nearly sends me over the edge into doing something I regret. I have to bite my fingertips into the scar on my right palm to keep myself grounded.

Shiro peers at me beneath long lashes, his expression pensive right as he turns to Pidge with a determined look, “Pidge, can you find out some more information about these stones?”

“We still have to do some analysis.” Pidge pipes up, and she turns to me with the light blue light of the Balmeran crystal overhead gleaming off of her round glasses, “I was running some composition tests back in my hanger on mine, but if you guys would give me yours I can do some cross referencing and find out the common variable elements between them to get some more information on what they are.”

“Oh, good thinking Pidge!” Hunk gasps excitedly as he pulls his stone from over his head, holding it out to Pidge with a closed fist, “Yeah, definitely cross reference them with energy patterns and trace elements, but also we should look at the variable differences to see what makes each of ours unique-”

“Oh my  _ god  _ could you  _ please  _ speak English?” Lance cries in desperation, holding his arms out with a dramatic sweep as he looks at Pidge and Hunk with wide eyes.

I cross my arms, giving Lance a tired look, “They’re gonna see what’s the same to figure out what’s different.”

Lance points to me with his whole hand, letting out a relieved exhale,  _ “Thank you!” _

Shiro nods, and I can see his thoughts running a mile a minute from behind his eyes as he regards each of us, “I feel now more than ever that this is right, I’m almost certain that Zarkon’s got to be tracking us through the Black Lion… And we’ve got to find some way to stop it.”

I pull the White Lion’s stone from over my head, and with my hand around the chain I hand it off to Pidge. As soon as the stone is gone my body seems to grow cold, like I just took off a jacket I’d been wearing for a while and grown used to having weighted on my shoulders. Pidge furrows her eyebrows, pulling her medallion from over her head and shoving our three stones into the pocket of her hoodie, “How are we gonna do that?”

Allura frowns, her hands clasped in front of her as her gaze stays glued to the floor, “I’ve never heard of this happening before, two paladins battling for the same lion…”

Shiro lets out a pent up breath, his fists clenched at his sides with his shoulders back in a dominating posture, “Well, unless we want Zarkon to take control of Voltron everytime we get close…” He glances over at Pidge, his gaze flickering down to her hands shoved in her hoodie pocket as he speaks in a softer tone, “I’ll have to forge a new bond with my lion. One that’s stronger than his.”

“It doesn’t have to be a _ new _ one.” I speak in a soft tone, Shiro’s grey gaze flicker to mine uncertainly as I continue, “Just… spend time with them. Listen to them.” I frown, biting my lip as the words fumble out in a more clumsy manner than I mean it to, “I don’t know how to explain it, but your lion  _ is  _ trying to connect with you. You just kind of… have to listen.”

Hunk nods, pointing at me with a frantic wave of his hand, “Yes,  _ exactly  _ what he said! Like, my lion was always showing me stuff, but I had no idea what he was trying to do but then when I started listening he would start like, purring in my chest all loud, like I have a really big cat resting on me and it’s really happy, and then it just got really loud today and then I was in the middle of this really big yellow place and-” He pauses as he glances at Pidge and I, his words dying on his lips as he quickly turns to Shiro like nothing happened, “Yeah. Rock collection.”

“Well, while you’re doing that,” Coran interrupts, his hands resting on his hips as he speaks in a matter of fact tone, “The rest of us need to find some new teludav lenses, otherwise, we won’t be able to travel via wormhole.”

Hunk touches his chin thoughtfully, “Is that something we can mail order?”

Keith speaks from the side for the first time since his apology, his head tilted to the side with an  _ annoying  _ lack of emotion on his face, “Does anyone even make those, anymore?”

Allura lets out a breath as she strides to enter our circle, her hands fiddling with the armor on her waist as she speaks, “I don’t know. Only a few Alteans had access to a teludav a thousand years ago; they may not even exist anymore.”

_ That’s encouraging. _

We’re silent for a long while, I can hear the gears in our minds collectively turning before Coran suddenly gasps. He releases his hold on his mustache that he was twisting in thought as he snaps his fingers, droplets of sweat spiraling away at the abrupt motion.

“I think I know where we can get some.”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> I really love chapter titles that are applicable to what's going on in the plot as well as in Will's head :) Because Angst.  
> It's DEFINITELY about to get angsty these next couple chapters, as you can see from the end of this chapter, there are definitely some issues that need to be resolved. So, prepare yourself.  
> But don't worry, I've got it all planned. I've been wanting to write out the coming two-three chapters since I started this thing, so buckle the fuck up.  
> **


	25. Let's Go to the Mall Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You already know wtf's goin on.  
> \---  
> (S2E7 is a National Treasure)

_“Coran!”_ Allura gasps with a hand over her heart with a face of undisguised appallment, “You’re not _seriously_ suggesting we go to one of those filthy _swap moons_?” 

At the front of the ship, Coran keeps his back to us as his hands fly across the holographic keyboard, and as he types all sorts of information pop up on the big hologram projection on the glass: coordinates, an image of a celestial body with arrows pointed all at various points around it with Altean words beside them. Another images that flashes up on one side as Coran types furiously on the holographic keyboard of what I  _ swear  _ is a young Coran, the mustache is unmistakable, in what looks like a rancid antique shop with a satchel on his back, taking a selfie as he’s running away from what looks like a trio of angry alien hobos that look like E.T., and man I wish I was making that shit up that’s how ridiculous it looks.

Allura crosses her arms as she regards the back of Coran’s head, “The last time you went, those space pirates took you for everything you had!” 

Lance blinks in shock where he stands next to Allura, staring up at the celestial moon with a slightly agape mouth, “... Space pirates?”

Coran doesn’t turn around to face us as more images appear, aliens with four arms, gangly and grisly with narrowed, distrustful eyes, grungy clothes, and I swear one looks like they have a cigar hanging out of their mouth as Coran speaks in a matter of fact tone, “The Unilu were traders and pirates that roamed the galaxies and dealt with black market goods, like umvy spice, by-tor water, little bottles of infinity vapor… But of course, you had to bargain.” Coran punches a fist into his hand with a determined glare at the holographic screen, “No one could bargain like the Unilu!” He turns to us with a slightly sheepish grin, already starting to laugh as he speaks, “Last time I ended up giving away three quarters of my shipment of lango in exchange for a used pogo oscillator!” He claps a hand on his forehead with a hearty chortle.

Allura immediately laughs in response from her place beside me, looking over at Coran with a fond smile, “Oh, yes, my father was definitely not pleased with that!”

“Well, while Coran is picking up his lenses…” Lance wastes no time in sliding up next to Allura, who blinks at him in confusion as he waggles his eyebrows at her, “I’ll take you shopping for something sparkly.”

“Lance.” I grumble with the absolute opposite of amusement, “With what money?” 

Lance openly gives me a look of  _ you’re-not-helping _ , but before he can open his mouth to retort Coran bristles up like a porcupine and whirls around to face him, pointing a finger at Lance with a reprimanding,  _ “This isn’t shopping! _ You’re not wandering around saying,  _ ‘Oh, what a lovely hat, how becoming.’ _ ” Coran shoots a death glare at a deer-in-headlights Lance, “ _ No.  _ I will  _ not  _ allow the princess to go anywhere  _ near  _ those filthy, lowballing Unilu hoodlums!”

Allura, after watching the interaction, suddenly clasps her hands over her heart, fluttering her eyelashes at Coran with the gaze of a child pleading for candy, “But I’d  _ love  _ something sparkly!” She flashes Coran a bright grin, her eyes practically pleading with childish charm ramped way up to the point I kind of want to laugh. I’ve  _ never  _ seen Allura’s face morph like that before.  _ Maybe it’s because she’s relieved to be back. _

Coran shakes his head, but his tone is more relaxed as he gives Allura the look of a bargaining parent, “Look, you’re the only one who can operate the Castle! And you need to be resting after all you’ve been through!” 

Allura pouts and hangs her head in such a comical manner that I snicker, covering a hand over my mouth and disguising it as a cough as Coran turns his back to us, clasping his hands behind his back as he speaks in a daring tone, “Now, I’ll ready a pod for our mission! We’ll need to get in, find the scaultrite lenses, and then get out.” 

Lance grins wickedly as Coran strides towards the exit, running after him with a cry,  _ “Shotgun!”  _

Hunk gasps, immediately racing after him and waving his hand, “Hey, wait, no, you have to be in the pod bay to call shotgun!” 

I can hear Lance scoffing in disbelief even from down the hall, “Since when?” 

Pidge and Keith walk after them with their hands in their pockets without much pep in their step. I pause, busying myself with straightening my shirt to give myself some room between myself and the pair so that I don’t have to walk with them. Well,  _ him _ , I suppose.  _ ‘Cause Pidge and I are really hitting it off now, with this stone nonsense. _

Hunk’s booming voice echoes into the bridge as he races after Lance and down the hall, “Since forever? That’s shotgun etiquette, I wrote the book!”

Beside me, Allura and Shiro stare off after them with expressions of mixed amusement before Shiro quietly sighs, his eyebrows furrowing as his gaze falls, “While they’re doing that, I’m going to head down to my hanger. I need to strengthen my bond with the Black Lion.” He turns away from Allura and I and marches towards his elevator. 

“Good luck, Shiro.” I murmur after a pause. He glances over his shoulder and smiles at me encouragingly, but I’m not sure if it’s for my sake or his. I glance back at the hall, Pidge and Keith are several strides ahead of me now and are turning down into the next hall, now’s the time for me to head out after the others before I’m left behind. 

I turn from the bridge and walk after the others receding forms. Footsteps race from behind me, and when I look up Allura’s gaze pierces mine as she picks up pace beside me. Her sapphire eyes is wide and glued directly onto me as she speaks in such a genuine tone that my heart lurches into my throat, “Will, I just wanted to say, I’m truly sorry that I left.” Her eyes flicker downward as my footsteps stall a little but I continue as if nothing happened, Allura continues walking in stride beside me and after several beats of silence she sighs, “I couldn’t have lived with myself if Zarkon was tracking us because of me. I didn’t want to put Voltron in jeopardy.”

I take a soft breath, the hard lump of resentment that implanted itself over my heart melts. Slowly I pat Allura’s shoulder as we walk and speak softly, “I know.” She lets out a breath of relief, and I drop my hand to my side as I continue in a soft register, “I’m just happy you’re back, now.” 

“I’m grateful.” Allura murmurs with a soft breath of relief, and after a brief pause her hand touches my arm, “Thank you, Will.”

I shrug in response and I start talking without really thinking behind what I’m saying, “I wasn’t truly angry with you, you know. I was just… worried. I wanted to protect you, the both of you, and I just…” I flex my fingers in the air in front of me with my palms up, letting out a soft sigh as I give Allura a candid look out of the corner of my eye, “I hate feeling powerless when it comes to protecting people I care about, and it’s hard for me to handle. Especially when I thought about what would’ve happened, if…” 

I trail off but I feel that I needn’t pick my sentence back up as Allura nods in understanding, walking with me down the hall towards the pod bay. I figure she wants to see us off before she goes to rest, or at least that’s what I hope she’s doing because this swap-moon thing sounds really… shifty. I’m not even sure if I should be going, I haven’t proven myself to be anything decent in a hand to hand fight, but I’d much rather go and be there to help the others if things went south than wait here, anxious and worried.  _ Yeah, that would suck so fucking bad. I’d much rather face space pirates than think about my friends taking them on alone.  _

Far ahead of us Pidge and Keith walk together, and I can see from here that it’s an  _ awkward  _ conversation, based on how many times Pidge takes her glasses off to clean them and how deep Keith has his hands buried in his jacket pockets, but they’re talking nonetheless, I can hear their voices carry but I can’t determine specific words from here. 

I stare at Keith’s shoulders as guilt wells up in my throat like hot water at the brim. I’m still angry with him; I can feel the deep reservoir of fury deep in my gut, but it’s… gentler. Like a wet blanket draped over it to minimize it’s piercing effect on me. But looking at him, knowing he’s here, and he’s okay, it eases the anger to a low boil. I want to chew him out, tell him  _ exactly  _ what’s on my mind with wicked lashes of my tongue but it’s greatly minimized by the glorious gratitude I feel that I  _ can  _ do that; that he’s alive and he’s okay and he’s here for me to be able to chew out, and that’s the wet blanket that cools my rage.

“I thought that was the case.” Allura murmurs after a moment, pulling me from my thoughts as I peer over at her with a raised eyebrow. She meets my gaze with a surprisingly soft expression, she was already looking at me when I meet her eyes and they’re glimmering with some hidden knowledge behind them as she smiles slightly, “And I do want you to know that Keith feels the same as I do. He’s just… not entirely adept at displaying it.”

I can’t help but snort as I shake my head, finding my gaze trailing back to his back as he walks up the hall, “That’s a fucking understatement.” 

“You really care about him, don’t you?”

I choke on my tongue so suddenly that I make a strangled noise, and the most instantaneous blush snaps across my entire face like the flip of a switch as I peer at Allura with wide eyes, “...W-what?”

Allura giggles,  _ giggles,  _ and although she has a hand over her mouth politely I can see the amused glint in her eyes from the overhead lighting of the expansive hall, “I can see it in the way that you look at him. I admit, it took me some time to notice, but I saw it as soon as you looked at him when we walked in.” She fiddles with her hands idly in her lap as we walk, my face is on fucking  _ fire _ as she murmurs, “After particularly dangerous missions, my mother would look the same way at my father.” 

I flush so hard that I almost have an entire system shut down. I run a hand through my hair, letting out a sharp breath through my nose as I meet Allura’s gaze, “I-... It’s just a crush. It’s nothing like… It’s nothing!” I cough as I try to clear my thoughts of the instantaneous panic that’s arisen, I literally feel like Allura reached her hands into my head and shook my thoughts around and tangled them all together like a bowl of noodles, nothing is where it was before and now I don’t know where anything was to begin with.

Allura raises an eyebrow at me, blinking in confusion, “That word you just used… Crush. I don’t think you’re using it correctly.” She tilts her head at me her eyes literal gems in the overhead light that reflects off of her lilac pupils. 

I blink at her stupidly, and slowly I realize the translation error, “No, like… Yes, to crush, like to tread something under foot is a word, but we also use it in a more… colloquial manner. It’s kind of like, you’re attracted to someone, but it’s not like, a lot, you just kind of…” I flounder for the words, speaking with my hands to try and demonstrate, “Like, you think,  _ ‘oh yeah, they’re quite nice and I like them in a romantic way’ _ but like, it’s not intense. It’s like, the step between liking someone platonically and… loving someone.” I can’t help but hesitate, chewing on my lip as my gaze drops from Allura’s to the floor. For some reason, I can’t explain why, but I feel that gut clenching reaction when you tell a lie.  _ But I’m just explaining to Allura what a crush is, that’s not remotely a lie. _

“Ah.” Allura frowns, tapping her lips with a pensive expression as she murmurs, “I didn’t realize… I didn’t realize that Earthlings didn’t have soulmates.” 

I blink at Allura stupidly, “I’m sorry?”

Allura meets my gaze as we turns towards the pod bay, “For Alteans, we bond with our partners for life. You know as soon as you look at them, and there aren’t any… half measures, like what you’re describing.” Allura tilts her head to the side, her gaze cast downward as she murmurs, “While an Altean can bond with many people, often at the same time, it isn’t an… idle thing. There is no place between platonic and love like you speak of; when we bond, it’s unceasing, and  _ powerful. _ ” Allura pauses and looks down at her hands, which are clasped in her lap as we walk, “As children we would hear of stories about how the love that a pair of Alteans have is a power that can change the course of history.” 

I regard the side of Allura’s face, the darkness that passes over her visage and the inexplicable sadness behind her eyes. Tentatively, I murmur with a soft, gentle tone, “Did you ever… bond with someone? Back on Altea?” 

Allura chuckles softly, shaking her head as the shadow seems to pass, “No, no I never had the pleasure. But I saw it everyday with my mother and my father.” She lets out a soft breath, clasping her hands over her heart. As we turn down the hall and into the lounge by the hangers, the pod bay lying just beyond she continues with a soft breath, “I suppose I… I always wanted that. To experience it for myself than watch from afar.” 

When we reach the end of the lounge I open the door, but Allura stops on her tracks. I turn back towards her with a raised eyebrow, but when our eyes meet she merely smiles at me in a gentle manner, “I’m sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about…” She pauses and looks away for a moment before she returns to meet my gaze, “I wish you luck at the swap moon.” 

I shake my head, reaching and touching a hand to her shoulder with a meaningful look, “Allura, I’ll always listen to anything you have to say.” Allura’s gaze softens as I gently pat her shoulder, letting my hand drop back to my side, “And don’t worry about not meeting your soulmate, thingy. There’s enough love in the world to go around that you’ll experience it soon enough.” 

Allura smiles secretively, bowing her head as she turns her back to me, “Buy me something sparkly, won’t you, Will?” 

I snicker, waving over my shoulder as I turn to leave, “See you, Allura.”

As I approach the pod bay, I hear Hunk’s voice shrieking,  “Ha! Shotgun!” When I walk through the doors I see that Coran has already got a pod out in the middle for launch, I can spot his silvery hair just over the top as he gets into the front of the pod in the pilot’s seat. Far ahead of Hunk, right by the pod, is Lance laughing maniacally, “It’s too late for you, Hunk!” Lance leaps into the front seat of the pod with the grace of an Olympian, much to Hunk’s despair as he pulls to a stop just before it. 

“Aww, come on, man! Unfair!” He groans, but Lance merely closes the pod door in his face with the devilish smile of an imp. 

With tangible dismay, Hunk turns away from the front door of the pod and instead trudges towards the back, his head hung and his face drawn into a displeased pout. Pidge immediately hops into the back with an increased pace, and based on her relieved expression she seems more than happy to escape whatever awkward interaction she was having with Keith. He steps in behind her to enter the back of the pod, and a hard, stony lump forms in my chest when I realize I have to join them.  _ For fucks sake. Don’t get nervous, don’t be fucking gay, stay pissed. Be pissed. Straight guys are all about being pissed off all the time. Yep, turns out, being angry isn’t hard at all. Oh God, is it gay to be pissed right now? Oh man, that’s too much introspection, just stay angry. Angry is easier.  _ I enter the open back of the pod to join them as Coran fires up the pod, calling something indistinct over the burst of the thrusters thrumming to life. 

The back of the pod is like the back of a police van that transfers convicts, with nothing but white benches on either side of the rectangular box. It’s wide enough for us to have enough space between benches to be comfortable, but each bench is rather short, no longer than those found in parks. Pidge and Hunk are sitting next to each other on the left side, Hunk with his arms crossed and pouting angrily at being put in the situation no doubt, and Pidge messing with the sleeves of her jacket next to him, her head leaning against the wall like she’s riding a bus. Keith is on the other side with his feet propped up to take up the whole bench, and as I walk in he looks up at me wordlessly, as unmoving as a statue. 

I glance over at Pidge and Hunk on their bench, who are now looking at me with wide eyes like they’re about to watch a horror movie, and I pause to consider my options. If I try to sit with them it would 1. Look suspiciously like I’m angry at Keith, which I  _ am  _ but I don’t want to make it  _ that  _ obvious, but also 2. It would be a tight squeeze, with Hunk’s bulky shoulders taking up damn near half of the whole thing, which would make forcing my way to sit next to them look even  _ more  _ suspicious. I’ve got no other choice to resemble normalcy. I glower down at Keith where he sits on the bench, his arms crossed over his chest with that  _ smug  _ lack of emotion on his  _ fucking  _ face like he’s almost  _ daring  _ me to tell him to put his feet down. 

So, I don’t tell him. I just sit down on his bench, forcing him to pull his feet up to avoid them getting sat on. He pushes them closer to his body to be perched closer to him, now taking up only about three fourths of the bench, which is just  _ excessive. _ He narrows his eyes at me and I glare right back at him, and I get the inklings like this is a wordless Mexican standoff.  _ I fucking  _ **_dare_ ** _ you to say something. I barely need an excuse to go off on you right now, I almost  _ **_want_ ** _ you to say some shit so I can chew you out so fucking much that you’ll be nothing but mashed potatoes when I’m fucking done with you- _

But Keith says nothing. He merely looks away and down at his jacket sleeves and fiddles with a stray thread idly. He’s rarely the person who looks away first, eye contact with him feels half of a conversation so I count this as a small victory, shifting to get more comfortable on the bench. Pidge looks at me with an  _ annoyingly _ knowing expression with her eyebrow raised at me, which I pointedly ignore and instead look at something past her, like the markless white wall behind her is much more interesting. 

The pod rumbles as we blast out of the Castle, the force of it pushing us backward towards the back door. Keith’s boots brace themselves on my thighs to keep him from toppling forward, and I can’t help the immediate glare I throw him that’s as sharp as a knife, and he meets my gaze with the same amount of emotion that he’s shown for the past hour, which is jack  _ shit _ . I know he couldn’t help the movement of the pod, but again, I’m  _ this fucking close  _ to losing my shit with him. Frankly, I don’t know what’ll happen when that fuse goes off, but I know it won’t be good for anyone involved, and that’s the string I’m hanging onto right now. As soon as the pod settles with the new speed, he repositions himself with one of his boots on the floor and the other perched in front of him on the bench, and his pointed gaze slides away from me to the floor of the pod. I silently tally myself another point in my head.

Suddenly, overhead the crackle of speakers sounds through the small cabin, “Hello? Back passengers, can you hear me?”

Pidge and Hunk both let out a loud breath like they were holding it, and I look at them with a raised eyebrow as Lance’s voice comes over the com with smug satisfaction, “ _ Oh,  _ it’s so  _ comfy  _ up here. Extra leg room, heated seats, oh man!”

Hunk crosses his arms and grumbles under his breath, “Stupid Lance, stupid shotgun…”

Coran’s voice cracks over the com system in the pod, “Now Paladins, these swap moons are very dangerous environments, so be on your toes! No weapons, and no communication devices of any kind!” I flicker my gaze over to Keith, specifically to the belt at his waist where I can see the edge of the scabbard of his knife that he always wears on his back. He doesn’t move, or look away from the hem of his jacket as Coran continues, “Also, I’ve brought along some disguises so that we can blend into the cutthroat population! You’ll find them in the compartments under your feet!” 

Pidge blinks and perks up, planting her hands on the bench and raising an eyebrow, “Disguises?” 

“Wicked.” I murmur under my breath my feet bouncing idly as I shift to lean farther back to get comfortable, “I’m gonna stick out like a sore thumb.” I grumble with a gesture to my clothes before I fix my gaze on Pidge, “Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to ask this, Pidge, can I  _ please  _ trade some clothes with you? All I have is a bunch of white shirts and shit, and I look  _ terrible  _ in white.” 

Pidge shakes her head, crossing her arms indignantly, “Heck no, you think white looks bad on  _ you,  _ it’ll look even  _ worse  _ on me, I don’t wanna look like a bride on her wedding day. Besides, green’s my color!” She complains with a huff, pinching the green hoodie she dons over her shoulders that I’m at least fairly certain is the one she wore when I met her back on Earth.

I shoot her a pointed glare, but as I turn to Hunk he immediately shakes his head and raises his hands in surrender, “Nope, your clothes wouldn’t fit me.” He pats his gut appreciatively, grinning at me like he’s more than pleased to have an excuse. 

I grumble and cross my arms, admitting defeat just as Keith pipes up beside me, “Don’t you still have my jacket?”

I nearly have a stroke on the fucking spot as both Hunk and Pidge look at me with owlish gazes, but Pidge’s is  _ far  _ more entertained than it has any right to be. I fight to look up at Keith’s gaze, which is still fucking  _ even and innocent  _ like he didn’t just-  _ No, I can’t let on any implication that having his jacket is anything but platonic, or that I think it’s anything beyond platonic, because it  _ **_was_ ** _ platonic, I’m just stupid and gay and haven’t given it back until now because I’m stupid and gay- _

I set my jaw and take a slow breath through my nose so that I can keep my voice level, “Keith, I hate to be the one to tell you this… but your jackets are a fashion crime.” 

Pidge immediately bursts out in laughter, but Hunk slaps a hand over her mouth as he looks at Keith’s unwavering expression, “What Will means to say is-” 

“Nope.” I cross my arms stubbornly, kicking up one of my feet onto the bench beside Hunk as I look at his wide-eyed gaze, just so I don’t have to meet Keith’s gaze that’s boring into the side of my head, “I didn’t stutter. Fashion. Crime.”

With a jolt, the pod jostles, and we brace ourselves as we bounce on the ground. I can still see Keith’s looking at me out of the corner of my eye, and I wonder if he’s pissed at me for being pissed.  _ No, yeah, probably, but I think I have every goddamn right to be pissed off… although I don’t think I realized just how difficult keeping my anger under wraps can be. Maybe I pushed too hard on the ‘be angry’ button. _ As I look at Hunk and Pidge’s uncomfortable expressions, I realize that my anger’s probably much more obvious than I want it or need it to be.  _ Yeah, definitely gotta tone it down a little. But fuck, it’s fucking hard when he’s just so-  _ The pod grinds to a halt with a large jump, we quickly brace ourselves for the jostle. 

After a moment of silence Coran’s voice comes over the com, “Hurry and get your disguises on, Paladins! We can’t linger here too long, or we might draw unwanted attention!” 

Hunk and Pidge lean over and peer under their bench, which I initially thought was just flat, but now that I examine it closer I can see the seams in the white metal that’s the telltale sign of Altean storage. Hunk pushes on it to open the drawer, and from within he produces a large, leathery duffel bag, stuffed to the brim with all manner of different cloth and leathery looking materials. Pidge excitedly grins and immediately snatches the bag from Hunk’s hands, pulling out all kinds of regalia and holding it up to her chest with the excitement of a kid backstage of a 2nd grade theatre production, tossing articles to the side at the speed of light. As clothes get thrown wildly, there appear to be a lot of leather belts getting slung around all over the place, along with a bunch of heavier things that clank when they hit the metal floor. Most notably, deep at the bottom of the bag, is a heavy set of black pauldrons with spikes on the top, and a huge, white and red hockey mask with black paint splashed over the front of it. Hunk scoops these up and holds them out with a skeptical eyebrow raise, and as I grab at the spilling contents of the duffel bag I gesture to the pauldrons and the mask, “Oh, Hunk, yeah, do it. Real intimidating pirate look.” 

Hunk raises an eyebrow at me and shrugs in response, pulling on the mask that fully covers his entire face, with black eye-holes that I can barely see his calf brown eyes beneath. Even despite the mask I can hear him pouting, “Man, it smells like…  _ rust  _ in here.” 

Pidge grabs a mustard colored, stained kerchief from the bottom of the bag and wraps it around her neck like a bandana, before she gasps as he produces a pair of large, spiky, red and black sunglasses from the bag,  _ “Oh, yeah.”  _ She pushes them on overtop her round glasses, and the sunglasses not only completely cover her normal glasses but they also cover almost the entire upper half of her face. 

I snicker, “Nice, Pidge.” I pull out a piece of canvas cloth from the bag, but it’s not scratchy like I was expecting, but rather smooth, like worn leather. I yank on it harder, producing a brown tunic with broad shoulders from the bag. It’s cut like a tabard, with cut slits under the arms and tapered at the bottom in trails. Keith snatches bits of clothes that fall from Pidge’s flurry in emptying the entire duffel in the back of the pod, and under his breath I hear him mutter, “Sure are a lot of kneepads in here.” He holds one up for us to see, they’re adult versions of those protective pads that little kids wear when they go rollerskating for the first time. 

Hunk shrugs in response and takes the one in Keith’s hand, bending over and rifling through the mass of leather and cloth piled up on the floor to find the matching pair right as Pidge lets out a loud laugh. I look up at her as I tug on the article I’d grabbed with a raised eyebrow as she holds up a pair of black, fingerless gloves, waving them at Keith, “Look, Keith, I found your gloves!” 

I clap a hand over my mouth to suppress the wild laughter that rises like helium with only mild success, the entire backseat is filled with the sound. Keith shoots Pidge a deadpan, annoyed look as he grabs a gray, wooly looking pair of those fuzzy boot coverings that were really popular like a decade ago, the kind that go over boot tops and stretch to your knees. He pulls them on over his black and red boots and I’m finally able to pull my laughter back and out of sight.

The tunic I’d grabbed only efficiently covers my chest, but the slits on the sides completely expose my hips, waist, and basically everything from my armpit to my feet along the side. I shift through the piles of clothes on the floor and grab on one of the  _ hundreds  _ of leathery belts of varying shades, they seem to be at least 20% of the bag’s contents as Pidge, of course, pulls on Keith’s replica gloves. I strap the belt around my waist before fumbling for something else from the many pieces of clothes scattered on the floor. Keith pulls on a brown and orange material out from under my feet, and I step out of the way so he can tug it out. He pulls it on over his shoulders, like a vampire’s cape. 

Pidge immediately whines in jealousy, “Aww, man! I didn’t see that there was a cloak in there!”  Keith merely smirks in response as he grabs a pair of the copious amount of kneepads on the floor and strap them to his shoulders overtop the cloak like pauldrons.

“I feel like we’re about to go trick-or-treating.” I grin as I shift through the piles, grabbing another belt from the pile of clothes on the floor and wrapping it around my waist, overlapping the original belt as Pidge snickers, “Yeah, right?” 

“I mean, yeah, because just like back on Earth nothing cool is gonna fit me!” Hunk pouts as he holds up a little, olive green shirt, that I think was once a long sleeved, elegant vestment except the sleeves have been ripped off. Pidge snatches it from Hunk’s grip with the cackle of a wicked gremlin as she pulls it on over her narrow shoulders, “Ha, speak for yourself!” 

“I wonder what day is it back on Earth.” Keith murmurs idly, quieting the cabin save for the fumble of clothes as we rifle through the tossed closet. Hunk picks up a large, thick harness from the bottom, attempting to shrug it on with some difficulty in the confined space as I pick up a long, dark brown jacket, like a trench coat. 

“Well,” Pidge begins as she grabs a black beanie looking thing from the floor, pulling it over her hair as she tilts her head pensively, “It was Sunday when Shiro crashed, I remember because we had our routine wake-up at 6am, which literally killed me,” Pidge grumbles dramatically as she fishes for more costumes on the floor, “So that means it was Monday when we left Earth. We were on Arus for… three days, right? Yeah, took down that cruiser after we got our lions, then we woke up, got smoked by Allura and Coran and then formed Voltron again, and then we trained for two days after, but then after that…”

“Nuh-uh, it wasn’t three days!” Hunk’s voice is muffled behind his mask as he struggles to strap a massive pair of steel knee pads to his knees, “We trained for five days, I remember, because Shiro had us fighting on the third day and I pulled a muscle in my arm that made flying my lion really hard for the two days after!” 

I roll my eyes as I grab a piece of canvas from the floor, strapping it to my shins to cover up my converse as I grunt, “Yeah, I remember you complaining about it nonstop.” 

Pidge cuts in as she holds up what looks like a black turtleneck before she tosses it to the floor, “Yeah, actually, I think you’re right, because the day we fought the first ro-beast was the day that Sendak attacked… that means we’d been on Arus a week once we took off the next morning.” 

Hunk snaps his fingers as his boots clunk down on the ground once he manages to get the steel pads on, his excitable voice muffled by the gruesome mask, “Right, right, and then we travelled to the Balmera to save Shay and her family, which took up the whole day because of those aliens on the moon and the lizard-y ro-beast, you remember, my lion was like  _ ‘yo check out this big gun it’ll take it out’  _ and it was great?” He holds out his hands towards us with a nod of his head, nonverbally asking  _ am-I-right-or-am-I-right? _

Pidge interrupts him with a loud clamor as she drops something metal and heavy on the floor. She sheepishly glances up at Hunk with an apologetic look, “Sorry, I think that was another ski mask or something.” She pulls up another piece of material up to look at as she continues with an analytic tone, “The day after the Castle was when the Castle tried to kill us, but then the next day was when we looked into Sendak’s memories and head out to the Space Base. And when all that crazy stuff went down with Allura and then…” 

We’re silent for a time as we recall the event, and I bend down and adjust the canvas on my shin as Hunk awkwardly interjects, “... But we lived!” 

After a moment of silence he lifts a long roll of white cloth on a spindle, which kind of looks like bandages. He nods to himself and wraps them around his boots as Pidge snaps her fingers in an inspired manner, “Then we all got blasted out all over the galaxy, and it took us the rest of that day to find each other and then the day after to…” She pauses. I look up to meet her shrouded gaze beneath her glasses as she slowly adds, “... Cause you were still in the cryo-pod.” 

There’s something strange in her tone that leaves me staring at her for a mere moment after, but when she turns away to continue getting dressed I decide to do the same, latching onto the nearest article with a shrug.  _ No need to read into what isn’t there. _ This thing I grabbed blindly happens to be a big piece of black cloth, like a bandana for a giant.

Hunk huffs, attempting to loosen the harness that’s strapped over his chest, “The day after, wasn’t that when Shiro wanted to go check that thing out and we met Ulaz? And then that creepy ro-beast that ate everything…” Hunk hesitates. To my right I can see Keith’s hands hesitate where he’s relacing his boots beneath the woolie sock-things. I peer over to regard him but he’s already started moving again, like nothing happened. His gaze flickers up to meet mine and I raise an eyebrow at him. He doesn’t speak, he turns away again to re-lace his shoes.  _ I’m pretty sure the nonverbal conversation we just had was me asking, ‘hey, you good?’ to which he said ‘fuck off’. Typical. _

Hunk continues where he left off with a less muted tone,“And then the next day we got that message from Olkarion and went to deal with that, and we spent the night there…” Hunk looks down at his knees, or at least I think he is as I can’t see his face, and enthusiastically declares, “That was such a fun night!” 

“Speak for yourself.” Pidge complains under her breath, grumbling in frustration, “You didn’t have to deal with a super drunk Lance!” Keith hums under his breath in agreement. I can’t help but glance over at him at the sound, but he’s preoccupied with his boots, he doesn’t even look up this time. 

I hadn’t even given any thought to whether or not Keith remembered what happened that night. He hasn’t said anything about it, he hasn’t even talked to me or treated me any differently, at least from what I could tell, but now… it seems that he does remember, he seemed to make a ‘yeah same’ noise in agreement with Pidge… so perhaps he does remember, and not fondly.  _ Not sure how to take that, honestly. _

_ I’m probably super over-analyzing this. He made a sound. Get over it. I’m just being sensitive and looking for more things to be upset about. _

“Then Zarkon attacked… yesterday.” Pidge mutters as I stand up, tying the black cloth I have around my waist just over the two belts, meeting Pidge’s shrouded gaze. She tilts her head, probably blinking slowly before she points to her feet, “And now today.” 

“Alright, I can do basic math,” I joke under my breath, counting on my fingers, “Five plus three plus...” I tilt my head to the side and bite my lip as I let out a breath, “Fifteen. We’ve been gone for fifteen days.”

We stare at each other for a long time in silence, but after a minute I shake my head and grab a piece of clothing from the ground, it looks like a hood that was once a part of a jacket, “Wait a second,” I mutter, holding the article at hand, “I have my planner in my bookbag back at the Castle. I can look and see exactly what day it is when we get back. Like, date-wise.” 

“You have your backpack?” I look up and meet Hunk’s masked face. It’s more like the mask is speaking with Hunk’s voice, which is  _ disturbing  _ to say the least. 

I nod with a raised eyebrow, “Well, yeah. I was at school when my lion practically yelled at me to go out into the desert, so I kind of ditched to-” 

“ _ Oh, _ look who’s a badass over here.” Pidge mocks with a wicked grin that I can see beneath the mustard yellow of her kerchief. I roll my eyes as I pull on the cowl from the ground. With the jacket, it’s almost like a trench coat hoodie combination, and that’s pretty criminally, right?

“Pfft, no, I’ve never been in trouble in my life.” I fumble within my memories, reflecting back on the day we left Earth,  _ God, that felt so fucking long ago, has it really already been just over two weeks? What was I doing… Oh, right, I was being sent to the principal’s office by Mr. Roads. _

“Well, actually, that day I had just so  _ happened  _ to be going to the principal’s office, but it was only because my teacher’s a jackass!” I immediately huff, my frustration with that punkass  _ Mr. Roads  _ coming back in full force, “He’s  _ such _ a pretentious asshole, he’s convinced that I’m stupid because I’m in a sophomore level class, but if he even  _ spoke _ to the other English teachers he would’ve known that I’m only taking Shakespeare because I’d taken every other fucking English class they  _ offer- _ ”

“Oh geez.” Pidge holds up her hands in surrender, but with the beanie and the sunglasses, and now the stained bandana over her mouth I can’t see her expression, “Please Will, tell us what you  _ really  _ think.” 

I pause as my indignant anger fades, and slowly a slight smile stretches across my face. Being sent to the principal’s office was such a big deal two weeks ago, but now? Now, I’ve been stabbed, tortured, shot, knocked out, as the pilot for a fucking massive, alien, sentient war machine with five former strangers and two aliens, real life aliens, from a planet that was destroyed a thousand years ago.

_ Damn, that puts some shit in perspective. _

“Let’s just say that I was having a really bad day.” I murmur with a joking tone as I run a hand through my hair, peering at the remaining clothing for anything addition to my disguise.  _ All those issues before seem so arbitrary, now. Everything’s changed, hasn’t it? _

Keith grabs a masquerade looking black mask from the floor next to me and pulls it over his head, and then a yellowish scarf around his neck before pulling the hood of the cape up up. It completely hides his entire face, not an inch of his skin is shown. By his feet where he’d grabbed the scarf is a similar one that’s a dark tan, and I reach over and snatch it up to wrap around my neck, pulling it up around the bottom half of my face.  _ There we go, super espionage-y now.  _

Keith stands up and pulls on a belt from the floor, layered over top of his own personal belt, and a glimmer of the pommel of his knife catches my eye as the cloak shifts with his movement. He snatches another from the ground and moves to wrap it around the second one, giving him three belts total. I can’t help but snicker as I lean forward on my elbows, regarding him with a raised eyebrow, “Have enough belts, Keith?” 

His covered face turns to face me, yet despite the copious coverings across his face it’s almost more intimidating, knowing that he’s looking at me without actually seeing him. I quickly turn the other direction and busy myself fixing the canvas around my ankles. I can’t look at him without losing the lackadaisical grin, which was genuine a minute ago, but now that I know he’s looking at me I feel like I have to force it to stay. 

“Whoa,  _ badass. _ ” Pidge produces a muzzle from the diminishing pile on the floor, much like Bane’s from DC’s Dark Knight, and immediately latches it onto her face. 

“Do you think this is excessive?” I look up at Hunk to see his arms and legs completely wrapped up in the white cloth he’s found, holding the now sizably smaller roll in his large hands. 

Pidge snatches it from him without a word and wraps it around her legs and shoes with the speed of an inspired artist as I snicker at Hunk, “Like a serial killer meets a mummy. Looks great.”

A sudden, familiar, muffled voice shouts from outside the pod, “Hope you’re ready in there, I’m opening the door!”

The pod doors make a popping sound, and as the doors swing open I try my best not to snort when Lance and Coran peer within.

Lance has two,  _ two  _ pairs of glasses on, one little set of spectacles on his nose and a pair of goggles on his head. He’s got a long tan jacket, like those trench coats from romance films,= that hangs down past his knees, bound in the center by a thick black belt and tied together with brown canvas wrapped around his sneakers to make them look like heavy boots. Coran, on the other hand, looks so wildly different that I have to do a double take; his hair is spiked up with some type of gel, maybe his sweat because of his slipperies, but I’ve noticed now that his sweating has greatly decreased since yesterday; it’s now more at a greasy, normal level rather than straight up gross, like a congressman in front of a podium, so just a little bit above normalcy but nothing like it was yesterday. One curl of his silver hair hangs in front of his face, just over an eyepatch over his right eye, and to complete his roguish look he has a long black coat that covers his entire form, hiding his dark blue uniform almost entirely. On his back is a heavy looking, military green satchel, filled with something or another that weighs Coran down like it’s a toddler in a little carrier on his back. 

“Oh, good, you’re finished. Looks excellent,  _ oh Hunk,  _ that’s perfect.” Coran gives him a thumbs up of approval in his direction, a wide grin hidden beneath his mustache as Hunk mirrors him with two thumbs up. “Quickly now, let’s get going.” Coran moves away from the doors, light from the outside flooding into the back of the pod. I shield my eyes as I step out first, bringing up my scarf around my neck to mask the bottom half of my face. 

Once my eyes adjust to the light, I see we’re in what looks like a parking lot. Like a normal, run of the mill parking lot from back home, except there aren’t cars in the parking spots, but various sides space pods, similar ones to ours with a thousand varieties of colors and metals that glimmer in the sunshine.  _ Wait, sunshine? _ I look up at the sky, shielding my eyes against the light of not one, but  _ two  _ suns that hang in the sky. I let my hand fall as I peer at the horizon, my eyes now grown used to the light. One sun is on one side of the sky and one on the other, mirror images of one another, and I find myself staring in awe at the skyline. Around the setting suns on either side are painted splatters of rose and gold, darkening to scarlet and violet where it morphs into the deep dark blue of night in a stripe down the center of the sky. It’s dawn and dusk all at once, the cool color mixture in the center like two sides of one photo, and it steals my  _ breath  _ away.

“Wow.” I whisper, straining my eyes against the bright sunshine as I take in the sky, just the  _ sky.  _ Over our heads, in the stripe of night sky between the dawn and the dusk, are hovering lights in long stretches and as I examine them closer I realize that they’re a bunch of space crafts flying by, shaped like small cars back on Earth, illuminating the night stripe in the middle of the sky with soft yellow light. I smack the closest shoulder to me and point up at the sky, “Holy  _ shit,  _ are you seeing this?!” 

“Yeah, it’s …  _ oh my god, _ it’s a hover-car highway.” The person I’d grabbed, apparently Hunk, stares up at the highway with me, and as I turn to look over at him I spot a large building, the only building in the space beyond the parked space cars, which is no doubt our final destination. It’s massive and rectangular, with at least two or three stories. It heavily reminds me of a department store, like the revamped Macy’s in New York City, mostly because of the massive glowing sign plastered right on the front, loud and flashing letters clearly spelling out ‘Swap Moon.’

“That’s kind of on the nose, isn’t it?” Pidge points up at the sign from where she stands on my right, and although her face is mostly masked I can see the skeptical raise of her brow even behind two sets of lenses. 

Coran scoffs, straightening his black jacket and turning to each of us with a comical drop in his voice, “It’s intentionally to throw us off their scent, Number six! No one thinks to look for the Unilu if they’re broadcasting their position, because who would be stupid enough to do such a thing? Well, except, that it  _ isn’t _ stupidity, but  _ brilliance _ .” He taps his nose and points his finger at Pidge, who merely stares at him stupidly as Coran whirls around and strides towards the building, “Now, follow closely! Who knows what manner of bloodthirsty pirates may have emerged after a thousand years.” 

Quickly, we scurry after Coran like a flock of menacingly dressed ducklings. 

At the front of the building is a massive, glass, revolving door, and as we approach an alien steps out with appears to be a smaller replica of themselves, probably their child as they look exactly the save one is the size of a large dog. The alien’s slim and bright purple, and I mean  _ aggressively  _ purple, with a long nose like an anteater’s and pale eyes on top of their head on short and stout eyestalks. The largest alien is wearing what I’d imagine an alien soccer mom would wear, high waisted white pants and a frilly blue blouse, which is strange considering how…  _ earthly  _ that looks. As we approach, the alien’s eyes swivel towards us, and once they absorb our entourage their eyes widen and they immediately begin tugging on the hand of their child at a vastly increased pace away from us.

Coran clicks his tongue with a saddened noise, speaking in a low register to us, “Poor chap, probably just got bought up on the slave market.” 

I blink and pause, staring off after where the aliens had disappeared to but they’re long gone, lost in the maze of hover-cars parked in the area. 

“No way that there’s  _ slaves _ here, right?” I croak, my eyebrows furrowed as we go through the glass doors, “Right?!” 

“Expect anything and everything from the Unilu.” Coran replies ominously as we enter the surprisingly well lit space within the building. As we step through, I begin to immediately doubt Coran’s expertise.

It’s a mall. It’s literally just a mall. It looks exactly like the town center back home, from the escalators leading down to the bottom floor to the sculpture of something abstract in the center of the main chamber we’d just entered. There are even storefronts lining the double tiered halls going both to the left and right. I feel like I’m right back on Earth, the only thing to remind me that we are in space is the alien lettering decorating the storefronts and the aliens themselves that pass by and loiter in the area. One alien is burly and blue with two sets of arms, another that looks exactly like a giant slug, and yet another with tentacles coming from the top of their head and from their chins - yeah, you heard me right.  _ Chins. _ \- However, none of these varieties of aliens look menacing, but rather tame; I also see no aliens that look like the Unilu he was adamantly describing before. One alien appears to have at least three children running beside them, chattering and pointing to stores like excited birds flying around their exhausted parent, who wordlessly carries a basket with another child in it as it suckles on a bottle that looks like it’s full of something viscous and bright green.  _ Ew.  _

_ Coran told us to put on disguises to blend in, yet here we stand out like violent sore thumbs with criminal records. _

“Uh, Coran?” Pidge mutters as she turns to Coran, who stares at the space with a confused expression, “This Unilu swap moon looks an awful lot like a regular mall.”

Coran twists his mustache between his gloved fingers, “It does appear to be a lot cleaner than I remember.” He turns back to us with a daring look, or perhaps it’s just the combination of the spiked hair and the eyepatch, “Still, be vigilant! The Unilu are cut-throat wheeler-dealers, so keep a hand on your coin satchels!” 

Hunk twists about, looking down at his costume before he speaks in a muffled tone from beneath the brutal mask, “... My satchels are empty.”

Coran nods briskly, “Good!” But before anything more can be said Keith sighs, his arms crossed in a solemn, short-fused manner, “Let’s just get this over with.” If I didn’t know Keith, I would’ve thought the dark regalia he dons is the reason for this tone, but I do know Keith, the human epitome of brooding.  _ I remember first meeting him and thinking that it was something he did on purpose as a sort of aesthetic. Ha. I learned better, now. That’s what fifteen days of trauma bonding will do to you. _

Coran nods in agreement, “Yes, right!” He crosses his arms and gestures with his hands to the wings that lead off to the sides of the mall subtly, like he’s a secret operative on a covert mission, “Everyone, let’s fan out. Search the area for teludav lenses. Let’s meet back here at the giant ticking clock in one varga.” He points behind him to what I thought was an abstract statue in the center of the mall, but now the closer I look at it I realize that it looks more like a satellite dish.  _ Alien shit, how is that a clock? _

“Don’t be late!” Coran wags a finger us as he turns to walk off to the left, before he gets two steps away he turns while he walks and adds, “And try to blend in!” 

We stare off after him until he’s out of sight, and after a beat of silence Hunk pulls off his mask and immediately tosses it into a nearby cylinder, which I realize now must be a trash can. “Good,  _ ugh _ , that thing  _ smelled. _ ” 

With coordinated shifts we strip off the disguises that Coran had given us and shove them into the metal trash can, which sucks the contents off as soon as things are thrown within. I pull off the cowl, the jacket, the scarf, the belts, the canvas, the tunic, but I keep the black stretch of cloth, keeping it wrapped it around my waist.  _ Might as well try and break up some of this white monotone a little bit, and you know, free piece of clothing that isn’t white for fucking once. Should’ve brought my flannel... _

“Alright, I guess we should split up.” Lance offers as he tosses his goggles into the trash can, shrugging the jacket off his shoulder and tossing that down the chute soon after. I glance over at Keith as he drops his disguise down the chute, and as soon as he meets my gaze I immediately turn and smack Hunk on the shoulder, “I’m with Hunk!” 

Hunk jumps in surprise, blinking at me with wide eyes but as soon as I meet his gaze he immediately grins broadly, “Yay!”

“I’m with you, Lance.” Pidge says with a shrug, shoving her hands into the large pockets of her cargo shorts. Lance turns over his shoulder with a wave of his hand, “Hey Keith, if you wanna join-” He blinks at the space before turning and looking around in circles. I blink and look around us in junction with him, but Keith is nowhere to be seen. After he’d thrown away his gear he must’ve just left, gone without a trace. 

“... Okay then, never mind.” Lance huffs, and surprisingly he’s visibly put out. However it barely lasts a second as he gestures off to the left side of the mall with the same, happy go lucky expression he usually wears, “Let’s go that way, Pidge. I like the look of that store over there.” 

Pidge rolls her eyes with a scoff, “Is it the  _ sparkly things  _ inside that make you like it, Lance?” 

I touch Hunk’s elbow and turn away as the two begin to bicker, tilting my head to the side towards the right with a flick of my gaze, “Let’s head that way, then, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Hunk nods in affirmation, and together we enter the mall proper.

I’m completely struck by how similar this place is to a normal mall back home, but what steals my attention is that the storefronts vary between having unreadable, alien lettering in front of them, and others are in perfect English, flickering with bright neon lights that would’ve been blinding had the mall not been so well lit. 

“I wonder why some of these are in English and others aren't.” I murmur, glancing over at Hunk with a raised eyebrow, hoping he’ll have a mechanical explanation. 

“No clue.” Hunk answers helpfully with a shrug, gazing from store to store with a pensive look, lips pursed.

As we walk down the walkway, we approach one of those conveyer belt things that they have at airports, like escalators except they’re flat and take you down the hall without having to walk. Hunk moves towards it with an excited pep in his step and I follow after him, and once we step onto it I lean on the railing while examining the storefronts on each side. I remember I used to love running the opposite direction of these when I was a kid, but it would royally piss off anyone who was trying to go the right way and my parents almost always had to apologize for me.

“So,” Hunk mumbles under his breath, pulling my gaze to his expression, “If I were a thousand year old wormhole lens, where would I be?” 

I shrug at him helplessly, but as he gazes around at the storefronts his eyes settle on an alien walking next to the walkway at a bizarrely fast pace, so fast that I don’t even get a chance to fully see their features save that they’re bent over like an old woman with bright periwinkle hair draped down their back. He waggles his eyebrows at me and then takes off after them, calling, “Um, excuse me? Hey, hi, excuse me, hi, wow, you guys are really booking it here, so, I was wondering if you guys knew-..?” He races ahead of me and out of earshot, running after the fast moving alien who doesn’t pause or even turn to acknowledge his presence as he speaks. I walk after him, not too much in a hurry as I glance from side to side at each of the storefronts. Most of them appear to be all kinds of clothing departments but most seem to be catered to a specific race of alien, like there’s a whole store devoted to the clothing choices for aliens with four arms, etc. I would figure the lenses would be in… well, not apparel stores.  _ So, where? _

I look up and pause when I reach the end of the conveyor belt, where Hunk leans on his knees, panting and out of breath from his race after the alien. I pat his back with a soft laugh, “Don’t worry, you’ll get ‘em next time.” 

He groans softly as he coughs to clear his throat, and when I look up to the new area we have spilled into I suddenly stretch into a wide grin, “Although, I have a feeling you’re about to get  _ real  _ happy, Hunk.”

“What? Why?” Hunk huffs, breathlessly looking up before he suddenly gasps dramatically, his exhaustion fading into an excited grin as his hands rise to giddily clasp in front of him,  _ “Oh!”  _

I guess it makes perfect sense for an alien mall to have an alien food court, but I wasn’t really prepared for how  _ similar  _ an Earth mall would be to an alien mall. Idly I wonder if the inventor of malls on Earth was an alien, or, if an alien saw our malls and took the idea, but either way, they’re  _ scarily  _ similar. This room is lined with all manner of food, each with signs that are all shockingly in English, reading lines such as “Sweet and Spacy”, “Cosmic Energy”, and a surprising amount of space pun food logos advertising their food, save for one that read “Nutrition by Vrepit Sal.” It appeared very bland, I couldn’t have even guessed it was a food place had I not seen the robot in a chef’s hat actively cutting what look like vegetables behind the counter. In the center of the room are circular booths with circular tables in the center, several aliens loiter in the area with platters piled high with all manner of foods I’ve never seen before. It kind of looks like a director had tasked a team to make a cheesy alien food court for a cheap sci-fi film, right down to the space puns.

Needless to say, Hunk is  _ enthralled.  _

“This… is…  _ beautiful! _ ” He cries, his eyes flown wide open and glimmering mahogany in the overhead lights as he steps into the area. Off to the side I notice platters hovering in the areas around the booths by the food places, milling about and piled high with a type of food that each food place seems to specialize in. _ Sample platters, maybe? But who knows, it’s an alien food court, maybe it’s just- _ Hunk follows my gaze to one such platter, but before I can say anything he gasps at me and immediately approaches it with a greedy rub of his palms together. 

I furrow my eyebrows a little at him, following with a cautious mutter, “Okay, I know you’re excited, but I’d like to remind you that, one, we’re in an alien mall, and these platters may or may not be free samples, we don’t know, but also, two, we’re  _ supposed  _ to be looking for the teludav lenses.” 

Hunk doesn’t pay me any heed as he stops in front of the platter. It has a collection of green, spiky… somethings, they look to be shaped like claws ripped straight from a slain dragon and stabbed with wooden toothpicks. Frankly, it doesn’t really look all that appetizing to me, but as I lock eyes with it my stomach  _ growls.  _ I frown and touch my stomach, and that’s when I realize that I don’t remember the last time I ate. It’s like as soon as my body realized that this is supposed to be foo it’s immediately  _ screaming  _ to have some. No,  _ lots.  _

Hunk picks up one of the green claws by the toothpick, raising an eyebrow at me as he says with a charismatic tone, “The scaultrite lenses might be under the samples, you never know. And how can they  _ not  _ be free with no one around to watch them?” He gestures about to the noticeable lack of attendant to the platter, and then pops the claw into his mouth. 

I watch him as my stomach growls so loud that my body practically vibrates, but there’s no way I’m gonna eat that shit until I know it’s actually edible. “... Is it good?”

Hunk chews with a pensive expression, shoving the wooden toothpick into his pocket before he grins at me, his teeth are tinted green, “Rubbery!” 

I curl my nose, and despite how I’m literally shaking that’s how hungry I am, I decide that I’m gonna hedge my bets elsewhere.  _ How did I forget to eat? This is just like back home, I would’ve thought… it’s probably all that stress with Zarkon following us everywhere that I forgot to eat, and the thing with Taujeer this morning kind of interrupted any sort of breakfast we could’ve had, and then on top of all that adrenaline is a hell of a drug…  _

“Oh, another over here! Come on, Will!” Hunk proclaims excitedly as he skips off to another nearby platter, hovering with its burden of what appear to be little burrito things that are no bigger than my hand, stacked on its surface as it mills between a set of round booths. I follow after Hunk with a pep in my step,  _ God I hope it’s good. Although we aren’t looking for teludav lenses, I think this is a worthwhile use of our time because I’m fucking famished.  _

Hunk takes a bite out of one of the burritos, which I see now isn’t soft like I was expecting by looking at it but instead it crunches like a chip between his teeth. After a moment he swallows the bite and enthusiastically proclaims to me, “Sweet... and salty!” He pops the second half of the burrito thing into his mouth with a bright grin, and without hesitation I grab five of the fuckers off the platter, biting into one with the frantic movements of a wild animal. 

And  _ God  _ is it fucking  _ delicious.  _ It has a pliable, crunchy pastry outside like those really good crunchy, flaky bits on croissants, and within is some sort of bean-like something that’s the source of the saltiness, and  _ God it’s so fucking tasty.  _ I don’t remember the last time I ate something that was so delicious.

“Whoa, go slow there, Will.” Hunk looks at me with wide, surprised eyes, his hands held up like he’s an animal tamer.

I immediately shake my head at him as I shove the second pastry into my mouth. “Fucking make me.” I say around a mouthful. 

Hunk blinks at me before he snaps his fingers in acknowledgement, “So  _ that’s _ why you were so pissed earlier. You were  _ hangry _ .” 

I hesitate as I manage to swallow the second piece, glancing at Hunk with a sheepish expression, “Not exactly, but… it probably contributed to it, for sure.” 

“Well, if I know anything about good food, it’s that nobody can be too mad with a full stomach.” He pats my shoulder encouragingly with a broad smile, before he turns towards another platter that floats nearby, “Let’s go get some more!” 

“Hell yeah.” I mumble as I shove a third pastry into my mouth, following Hunk to the next platter. We’re going around the circle of foods to sample from each of the platters as we make our way around, not even glancing at the food places as we pass them. Instead we hone in on the next sample platter; this next one has small shot glasses, and as I munch on my fourth sweet and salty pastry Hunk tries the bright pink liquid inside. As he smacks his lips I raise an eyebrow, “I know this is probably super late, but like… are these foods good for us to eat? Like, humans? What if there’s food in it that’s poisonous to us or something?” 

Hunk gasps, snatching my last sweet roll and shoving it into his mouth as he exhales sharply through his mouth. I gasp in outrage and smack his arm, “Hey! That was my last one!” 

“So spicy! So cold and _ so spicy! _ ” Hunk cries around a mouthful of food, and I can see tears welling in the corners of his eyes.  _ Oh, shit. Okay, water? _ I look around with a hand on Hunk’s back as he gasps around the shoved pastry, but I haven’t any idea what an alien water fountain would look like.  _ Okay, another food platter then to wash out the taste.  _ I look around for another platter to get him something else to eat, something to wash out the taste and hope that it’s also not spicy, or poisonous, and once I spot one I grab his shoulders and usher him to it.

We’ve basically made a full circle at this point, this platter from the last food place around the circle, the Nutrition place. The platter’s got black meatball looking things, stabbed with green toothpicks piled high on its surface.  _ It looks kind of gross, but who knows. How bad can it be? _ Hunk’s gaze zeroes in on the food on the platter once we get close and he snatches one up, popping the ball into his mouth before he curls his lip, “Ew, bleh.” He shakes his head as he swallows the food nonetheless, shoving the wooden toothpick into his pocket before he takes a breath, smacking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. He appears to have fully recovered from the heat of the pink shot he took, much to my relief. He raises an eyebrow at me with a breath, his tongue tucked between his teeth “What elth you think they hath?” 

Suddenly, from behind us comes a deep, intimidating voice, “Five hundred gack.”

We turn around at a glacial speed with wide eyes towards the source of the voice, and we’re met face to face with a burly Galra. He’s not at all burly and muscled like Sendak, but he’s big in the sense that Hunk is big; he has broad shoulders and massive forearms and biceps stretched beneath a red tunic. He has a white apron with a red symbol on the front that I don’t recognize and a white headband wrapped around his forehead much like how Hunk wears his own ribbon. The sharp edge of the cheekbones that join to the fuzzy ears off to the side of his head are unmistakably Galra, but what’s strange about him is, unlike the other Galra I’ve met, he has irises and round pupils instead nothing but gold and thin, snake-like pupils; his irises are a deep red, but the whites of his eyes are gold just like the other Galra I’ve met, but a lot less bright, surprisingly subdued.  _ That’s strangely familiar. I’ve seen something like that before.  _ His dark purple hair is spiked upwards, and he has a faint violet mustache on his lip, which is curled with displeasure as he repeats, “Five hundred gack.” 

Despite the Galra’s lacking golden gaze,  _ perhaps some sort of genetic mutation,  _ my fight or flight instincts kick in. I find myself taking a slight step in front of Hunk to stare down the Galra down, even though I’m a good head or more shorter than him.  _ I can’t really take on someone that size, but I sure as hell will fucking try if I need to. _

Hunk blinks at the Galra, who’s only got a few inches on him, with wide innocent eyes, “Uh, excuse me?” He asks politely.

The Galra steps forward and rests his hand underneath the platter, lifting it up with one arm as his gold and maroon eyes zero in on Hunk, “Sustenance provided by Vrepit Sal, that’s me. Five hundred gack is now owed.” He holds out his other hand with a beckoning claw, and I find myself unwittingly pressing into Hunk’s side protectively. My heart is pounding so loud in my ears that it blocks out damn near everything else.  _ Fuck, capitalism, in space? What a nightmare. I should’ve brought my bayard, fuck, I should’ve brought my bayard- Would it really have been a good idea to start swinging a bladed pole-arm around a mall, though? He may be Galra but he’s nothing like Sendak, his entire demeanor is different… But God, I don’t like him looking at Hunk like that. _

Hunk sheepishly raises his hands in surrender, looking up at the Galra, apparently named Vrepit Sal, with doe-like eyes, “Sorry, I thought this was a ‘free sample’ sort of situation.”

Vrepit Sal continues to stare at Hunk unforgivingly down his nose, his gut sucking in violently as he takes a deep breath, like he’s barely controlling himself from striking out,  _ “Free?”  _

Hunk swallows and taps his fingertips, shrinking down before the Galra, “... Of charge? You know,  _ gratis _ ?” Vrepit Sal merely glares holes into Hunk’s forehead, and he immediately begins to stammer, “L-look, I don’t have any money, so, uh… you know…” He pauses and looks up hopefully at the Galra, who continues to stare down at him with unforgiving consistency. 

Slowly I grab Hunk’s wrist and pull on him a backwards, away from the Galra, speaking to him in a hushed whisper, “I think we should get out of here, Hunk-”

“Then you must repay your debt to me through labor.” Vrepit Sal states with an authoritarian tone, causing both Hunk and I to freeze in our edging movements. From behind him he produces a pair of dark gray links with lime green light shining from within them, and I’ve seen Altean handcuffs enough to recognize it in another alien species’ design. 

“Hey, you can’t do that!” I immediately snap at the Galra, my fear swallowed by protective rage as I stab a finger in the Galra’s direction, “Indentured servitude is… it’s illegal!” 

I have no idea if it is or not, but there’s no way that it’s _allowed_ in a civilized society, _right?_ _If there’s straight up capitalism here then there’s gotta be labor laws or something, right?_ Despite how fear pounds in my throat, I push myself in front of Hunk protectively as the Galra approaches with the cuffs at hand. 

Vrepit Sal pauses just before me,  _ come on, why is he so tall,  _ but he merely raises an eyebrow at me with mild amusement as he chuckles, “Illegal where, little girl?” 

Immediate, red hot anger flares like the burst of a firework, bursting open a whole box of hatred deep in me that I thought I’d long buried. I get right in the Galra’s face, having to get on my tiptoes to do so but my flight instinct immediately switches to fight at the drop of a hat as I snarl,  _ “What the  _ **_fuck_ ** _ did you just-”  _

“Ah, Mr. Vrepit Sal, sir, I’m sorry, uh..!” Hunk grabs my shoulder and pulls me back with surprising strength. The Galra merely blinks at the exchange without much emotion as Hunk whirls towards him like an overstrained waiter, pleading with his hands outstretched, “Uh, it’s okay, erm… My good friend here, who is a boy, just so you know, is just trying to look out for me, you know how it is-” The acknowledgement of the situation almost makes me fury spike even more but I haven’t the chance to dwell on it as Hunk continues talking to Vrepit Sal, “It’s okay, I’ll work for you real quick-” 

Before Hunk can even finish, Vrepit Sal bends over and claps one of the manacles onto one of Hunk’s ankles. Vrepit Sal holds the other in his hand, a trail of lime light between the cuffs to hold them together and as he rights himself he grunts, “Come.” 

“Hunk!” I snap, my anger washing away and replacing with icy fear as Hunk shuffles after the Galra to the food area of his food stall. Vrepit Sal lifts a bar that leads into the back kitchens behind the buffet style front, clapping the counter back down to its original position before I can follow them. He points to a sink where there’s a tall stack of plates, and Hunk sheepishly moves at his direction to stand there, and only once he’s where Vrepit Sal wants him to be does he chains Hunk’s ankle to one of the bars on the floor next to the sink. 

Seething, I slap my hands on the counter and shout, “Hey! Vrepit  _ assho- _ ” 

“Will!” Hunk turns to me from the back. I look at Hunk with wide, worried eyes as he mouths with an expression of surprising confidence,  _ ‘I got this’.  _

I flicker my gaze from him to Vrepit Sal. He’s turned to me with a cold, steely gaze that sends shivers down my spine, glaring me down from behind the bar with his arms crossed. He shifts to move toward the counter, and suddenly my instantaneous fight morphs to flight as I turn on heel and  _ run _ .

My heartrate is the only thing I can hear for several seconds, I feel footsteps racing behind me, I can’t stop. I risk a glance over my shoulder, but I don’t see anyone, but it wasn’t a good enough look. Luckily this side of the mall’s walkway is empty, and as I spill back into the center of the mall, my heart pounds violently in my chest as immediate panic sets in.  _ Okay. What the fuck. What the  _ **_fuck_ ** _ was that.  _

_ Okay. Stay calm. Just gotta find someone. Find Coran, hopefully, but I don’t know, fuck, I don’t know what he can do. I should’ve stayed. I should’ve punched the Galra or something, I shouldn’t have fucking left Hunk there, what is  _ **_wrong_ ** _ with me, why did I leave him?!-  _

I turn around a bended corner, I can’t stop running not when I feel like there’s a violet ghost right on my heels, but as soon as I twist about I immediately get slammed by someone running from the opposite direction. Sharp red pain explodes in my face as I fall backward to the ground with a loud swear, covering a hand over my nose as I hit the cold linoleum floors. Immediate, sharp, agonizing pain radiates all across my face like I just got sucker punched, and as I sit up I can feel something hot and wet drip onto my hand. When I look down I see smears of blood slicked across my fingertips.  _ Oh, whoever the fuck that just was is about to _ **_rue_ ** _ the day they were _ **_fucking born-_ **

A hand clad in fingerless gloves reaches down into my vision, and I look upward to meet Keith’s gaze. The violet melts together into the bright overhead lights to morph into a steely plum, and I gotta admit the sight makes me reel in more ways than one.  _ My fucking face hurts.  _ When I don’t immediately take his hand, Keith grabs me by the front of my shirt and hauls me up to my feet. I stumble a little as I get up again, holding a hand to my face; I can hear that he’s speaking, but my head is pounding too much for me to be able to hear him. 

_ “Excuse me,”  _  I hiss, pinching my nose as I feel more blood start to drip down my face,  _ “But,  _ **_ow._ ** _ ”  _

Keith has his hand on my forearm, his eyes glued to looking over his shoulder, like he’s looking for something. His hand slides up and grabs my elbow, guiding me in the direction I just came and finally I’m able to understand the words coming from his mouth, “-sorry later, we’ve gotta go-” 

“Let  _ go  _ of me.” I snap harshly, wrenching my arm from his grip. He looks at me with slightly wide eyes as I pinch the bridge of my nose to staunch the bleeding, fixing him with a hard look “We can’t leave yet! Hunk, he got fucking put into indentured  _ servitude  _ because he ate some dude’s pisspoor meatball, we’ve got to get him out before-” 

“Okay, okay, we’ll get him.” Keith’s voice is soothing, if strained, speaking in a hurried tone as I meet his blackened violet gaze, as level and even as  _ fucking usual _ , “But we’ve got to be quick about it.” Keith’s gaze flickers over his shoulder back where he came again. I blink when I see movement from just behind his back; he reaches his arm behind his back and I watch as he fixes his knife back into its sheath on the back of his belt. 

I blink with wide eyes, my voice muffled with my hand covering my bleeding face, “Did you  _ stab  _ someone?” 

“What?” Keith whips back to look at me with a stunned look, blinking at me with an indignant noise, “No! I just-... We should just leave once we break Hunk out.” He shakes his head with a dismissive gesture, pointing where I just came from, “Is Hunk this way?” 

“Yeah.” I huff, fumbling for the black cloth I’d tied around my waist and holding it to my nose, wiping my bloodied hands on it as I follow after him, “I see your little  _ adventure _ didn’t change how dodgy you are.” I growl under my breath, muffled beneath the black cloth on my face. 

I can’t help the jab, but considering the circumstances that led up to Keith running into me so hard that my nose is  _ bleeding,  _ I feel that I’m justified in my bitterness.  _ I feel pretty freaking justified all the way around, frankly. _

Keith lets out a hard sigh and all of a sudden he grinds to a halt in the middle of the walkway. I pause and meet his stony gaze as he turns to me with what would’ve been an inexpressive look save how he furrows eyebrows, “You  _ really  _ wanna do this right now?” 

“No, because unlike  _ you _ , I want to make sure everyone on the team is safe before running away.” I see nothing but red, and some part of my brain is like  _ um, wow, Will, it’s time to fucking chill,  _ but the off switch is hidden, thrown away when I got hit headlong by this  _ asshole _ who has the  _ nerve- _

Keith stares at me with wide eyes as I turn to head towards the food court, and after a beat of silence his footsteps fall in step beside me. I don’t look at him as I walk at a brisk march, and just for a moment I think that that’s the end of it until I hear him speaking lowly under his breath, “Okay, I know I messed up, but Allura and I were just trying to draw Zarkon away to make sure it wasn’t us he was tracking.” 

I shoot him a glare as I shift to hold my bleeding nose with my other hand, “If you’d quit lying to me that’s be pretty great,  _ Kogane _ .” I can’t bear to use Keith’s name just yet, but I needed that punch at the end to enunciate on just how pissed I am at him. I don’t want to say  _ Keith  _ because it feels to familiar, it feels too intimate-

Keith stops in the hall. I glance back at him as he looks around at the expanse of the mall, as if looking for something, then after a beat of silence he grabs my arm and guides me to the side, a small space out of the way of any potential foot traffic between two storefronts. 

My head pounds, I’m just trying not to swallow blood so I follow his pull, clearing my throat as the blood soaking into the cloth begins to clot in my nose. _Oh, it’s like that, huh?_ _Instead of out in the open in the middle of mall, now I can rip him a verbal new one in a shadowed corner. Well, we’re more like ‘out of the way’ of the middle of the mall, but regardless,_ _fine by me_. _All I needed was an excuse._

Once we’re shrouded in the shadow between two storefronts, Keith fixes his gaze on me and it’s surprisingly dark, even frustrated, as he speaks in a dangerously low tone, “ _ What’s your problem?”  _

I blink at him incredulously, my jaw dropping at the  _ audacity  _ as I snap, “Excuse me, what’s  _ my  _ problem? What’s yours?  _ You’re _ the one who ran away! For no fucking reason, might I add!” I hold up a finger to silence Keith as he opens his mouth to argue, “And no, don’t give me that _ bullshit  _ on Zarkon imprinting you on that fight or whatever, I was  _ there. _ ” 

This seems to silence Keith effectively, his mouth snapping shut, but I can see him gritting his jaw. His gaze slides to the floor, he appears a little defeated, but now that I’ve started on a tirade, I can’t stop.  _ You wanna know what my problem is, I’ll fucking  _ **_tell_ ** _ you. _

I hiss between clenched teeth, “But even  _ that  _ aside, you left without telling us, without telling  _ anyone! _ And for what? What was the benefit, except that you didn’t want us to talk you out of it. Hell, you didn’t even let  _ Shiro  _ in on what you were planning!” I gesture blindly off to the side back hence we came. 

Keith isn’t having any of it, he immediately snaps back with a sharp glare, “How do you know that I didn’t tell Shiro?”

I stall, blinking at him stupidly for a second.  _ Well, fuck, I know that because I was eavesdropping, but you can’t know that I know because of that! _ I huff, thinking on my feet as I fix him with a hard look, “It doesn’t take a genius to know what Shiro looks like when he’s blindsided by someone he cares about.” Keith’s gaze, almost black in the shadow of the walls between the storefronts, fixes on mine with a look that I can’t discern, but when’s  _ that  _ been new. 

I want to take a deep breath and relax, step back and reflect on whether or not this is  _ really  _ a good idea to be talking about while I’m pissed and bleeding with a cloth pressed against my face, while we’re supposed to be looking for help for Hunk, while we’re supposed to be looking for the stupid teludav lenses. But another part of me, the part that’s now the conductor of this train, is  _ furious,  _ and I’ll be damned,  _ Keith’s gonna fucking realize the consequences of his actions once I’m done with him.  _

So, committing to going off the rails and following my burning rage, I jab a finger into his chest and snarl, “Did you even stop to think about what you were doing? Even a single second? Or were you already in the pod before you even remembered that you’re a Paladin?” 

Keith looks down at his chest where I touched him before he looks up to meet my eyes with a dark glimmer across his features as he snaps, “I  _ was  _ thinking like a Paladin!” 

I merely stare at him with no change in expression.  _ That reeks of bullshit.  _ His gaze flickers across my face, and I can see him clenching his jaw as he takes a soft breath, the anger that bled into his voice fades as he growls, “How do know it wasn’t Allura’s idea? Or did you yell at her too?” 

I narrow my eyes at Keith and rub the cloth under my nose, letting it fall to my sides once I’ve wipe the remainder of the drying blood from my face and fixing him with a hard glare, “Allura had an actual reason to be worried but that doesn’t excuse her either. I’m yelling at  _ you  _ because  _ you  _ had no reason to go. Your excuse stank to high heaven with absolute  _ bull,  _ and what’s even worse is that I  _ know,  _ if you had the option, you would’ve made the same choice again in a heartbeat because you think that your actions don’t affect anyone but you.” 

I fight to keep my voice at a reasonable volume as I glare at Keith with such intensity it’s a wonder he doesn’t burst into flames, I’m  _ shaking  _ I’m so fucking angry as I spit the words like they’re acid, “Do you even  _ care  _ how worried we were? When we went up on the bridge and y’all weren’t there? I really want to know, I want you to answer me,  _ do you fucking care? _ ” I snarl, my hands clenched into trembling fists as I get up into his face antagonistically. I almost want him to hit me, shove me, something,  _ anything  _ to show that what I’m saying is getting through to him at all, but all he does, all he  _ ever  _ does is meet my intense gaze with such a furious lack of emotion that I feel like I’m about to  _ fucking explode. _

For several long seconds I glare at him and he merely meets my gaze with as much interest as one looks at a lecturer at a symposium, until finally he speaks in such a soft register that I can barely hear him over the rush of blood in my ears, “Why do  _ you  _ care?” 

The simple words are like an ice cube dropped into a cup of piping hot tea, immediately simmering my rage away and leaving something lukewarm with cold, crisp edges on the tip of my tongue. I can only blink at him in shock, falling back on my heels; for once, I’m speechless, I have literally no idea what to say. 

Keith seems to feed off of the anger that I’d lost, getting back up into my face in turn and growling in a darker tone as he repeats,  _ “Why do you care?”  _

_ Why do I care?  _

I swallow on the lump in my throat as I take a step back, and I feel something warm and slick sliding from my nose and onto my upper lip. I cover my nose and mouth with the black cloth again as I meet Keith’s fierce gaze, it’s so intense I want to look away, but I can’t. I feel like if I move, I’m going to fall into some deep dark abyss and never come out again. 

_ You know  _ **_damn well_ ** _ why I care, you  _ **_dickhead._ **

Before I can say something, anything, a large form comes barrelling towards us from the direction I just came from. The flurried movement causes me to tear my gaze away from Keith, and once I spot the form approaching us I immediately let out a breath of relief, scratching at the drying blood on my face with the cloth as I call, “Oh thank God! Hunk!” 

Hunk’s wearing the same apron that Vrepit Sal was wearing, the strings are flapping behind him as he grinds into a halt beside us, breathing heavily as he claps a hand on our shoulders and gasps frantically while pointing back where he came, “Keith! Will! He’s right behind me!” 

“What?” I blink at Hunk stupidly as Keith responds with a raised eyebrow, “Who?” 

From behind us I hear the sound of loud, intermittent beeping, like a tow truck going in reverse. Slowly, we turn and face the noise with wide eyes to see a short, fat Galra sitting on a hoverbike. 

He’s in black clothing with a white vest overtop and matching white boots, definitely Galra with the telltale fluffy ears that melt from his cheekbones, but he too has the yellow/maroon iris combination that Vrepit Sal had. He turns his motorbike to face us, and that’s when I see the shiny badge proudly displayed on his chest, glimmering in the overhead light as the Galra grins a fanged smile, pointing to our collection with dark satisfaction, “Pirates two and three! My lucky day!” 

_ Oh my god. It’s an alien mall cop.  _

Immediately we yelp and sprint off in the other direction, the sound of the hoverbike hot on our tails as we sprint through the mall. I don’t even stop to think that maybe we shouldn’t be evading arrest, maybe we should explain our situation, but I doubt that Hunk would be straight up running away from a mall cop unless he thought that that plan was out of the question. The alien shoppers who spy our escape immediately get out of the way with varying cries of shock and surprise, and I shove my bloodied cloth into my back pocket to keep my hands free as we run our hearts out away from the Galra mall cop on his hovering segway.  _ The fuck kind of sitcom did I just stride into. _

Up ahead, coming out of a store is Pidge and Lance.  _ Oh thank fuck. I think it’s time for us all to get out of here.  _ Pidge is hugging a white box to her chest and between them is an alien exactly like aliens were imagined in the early twenty first century, complete with the bald green, oval shaped head, the black eyes, and the gangly limbs. As we race towards them the alien hands Lance a leathery leash tied to… a  _ cow?  _ Is that a fucking  **_cow?!_ **

“Guys, time to go!” Hunk cries as he passes them. They look up at us as we sprint by them. Keith gestures over his shoulder as he races past, “Security’s on our tail!” 

I don’t dare risk looking over my shoulder when I hear the mall cop crying out, “ _ Aha! _ There’s the rest of you!” 

I hear Lance and Pidge shrieking, followed by their hurried footsteps to race after us, but what’s strange is the whirring noise that ensues, like one of those hovering platters but three times as loud. I risk another glance behind me and that’s when I see Lance’s dragging along the black and white cow, who’s standing complicitly on a large hoverboard that’s just big enough to hold the cow itself.  _ Okay, that is a cow. Lance has a cow. _

I look ahead to watch where I’m going, and that’s when I see we’re approaching an end to the hall where it gives off to the main area of the mall where we came in, but we’re not on the side with the escalator.  _ Fuck, it’s a dead end.  _

“Quick!” Lance cries from behind me, and I glance over my shoulder to see him leaping onto the back of the cow, who doesn’t seem at all phased by the wild movements as Lance shouts, “Everyone onto the Kaltenecker!” 

Lance holds out a hand to Pidge as she leaps up onto the cow without question. Hunk doesn’t jump onto the cow’s back, instead jumping onto the back lip of the hoverboard as he shouts, “Did you guys buy a  _ cow?! _ ” I’m  _ amazed  _ at how strong the hoverboard is that it doesn’t do more than wobble with Hunk’s additional weight and the cow’s, so I don’t hesitate. I run and leap, swinging one leg over the cow’s back and sliding onto its back.  _ Thank Papa for those summers at the farm. _

I desperately grab onto Pidge to keep from sailing over and onto the ground on the other side, I hear her shouting as she grabs my arm to keep me on board, “It was free with purchase!” She holds my arms close to her middle, and I feel hands wrap around my middle from behind, another weight joining on the cow’s back behind me and almost sending me flying off the side from the momentum. But, thanks to Pidge’s tight grasp on my arms, we manage to stay on. That’s when the cow’s hoverboard goes sailing over the railing. 

We descend at a fast speed, like we’re gliding through the air on the back of those gliders they have at beach resorts. I feel the cow adjust with a low moo beneath me to the new weights they now bear, but they remain standing, and  _ amazingly  _ calm. I’ve never seen a farm animal so disinterested, and I’ve been around a few.

The hoverboard bounces up a little once we land on the bottom level, continuing onward at a surprising speed as we fly through the mall, shoppers left and right leaping out of the way as we come barrelling by. 

_ Alright, I know I say this a lot, but this is it: this is the  _ **_weirdest thing_ ** _ that has happened since we’ve left Earth; being chased by an alien mall cop at an alien mall - that was supposed to be a pirate’s haven - on the back of a cow. _

“We gotta find Coran and get out of here!” I shout, wrapping my arms around Pidge’s slim waist. I extend my legs and hold onto the cow with my calves rather than my knees to keep myself stable on the cow’s back, but even with the squeeze the cow doesn’t seem to notice or care, she merely leans down to the surface of the racing hoverboard and rips up the grass that’s growing on its top like this is just another day.  _ Wow, can I have some of that calming energy, please? _

“Does anyone remember where he went?!” Lance cries over his shoulder in our general direction when I hear Hunk’s terrified voice over my shoulder,  _ “Turn!” _

We look up with wide eyes and see that we’re approaching a three way intersection of the mall, we only have seconds to think. Fortunately, we all get the same idea, and in junction with one another we lean to the right to turn the hoverboard.  _ Voltron’s taught us one thing, and it’s moving in junction with one another. _ I feel the hands, grabbing onto my lower stomach from behind me, dig their fingertips in to hang on as we turn, they’re gripping me like I’m the physical controls of a wild hoverbike. I grab his wrist to keep him steady, and I’m shocked that they’re not Hunk’s large, warm hands; they’re thinner, more deft,  _ with fingerless gloves.  _

_ Escape the alien mall cop before you gay panic, Will.  _

Hunk shouts from behind me, “He went over by the food court, that’s all I know! But we were just over there, he isn’t th-” 

“There he is!” Pidge frantically points up ahead with a wild finger, and sure enough when I follow her hand I can see Coran standing outside of what looks like an antique store. His satchel is slung over his shoulder as he stares at us with wide, shocked eyes. I think this may be the first time I’ve seen Coran utterly and truly stunned.  _ I don’t blame him. What a fucking sight we must be right now. _

“We gotta go, Coran!” Keith shouts, his voice is right next to my ear and it makes me jolt when his arm, one of the two that’s wrapped tightly around my middle, releases me to hold out a hand towards Coran. He leans out dangerously far to the right so he can grab onto him when we pass, I grab his jacket sleeve to keep him from falling off of the cow’s back. Coran quickly catches onto the situation and immediately races forward to meet us, extending a hand without question and snatching Keith’s with a deft grab. I reach out and grab Coran’s jacket to haul him onto the hoverboard as he shouts, “I got the scaultrite lenses!” 

Behind us I can hear a creaky voice shrieking, “Scaultrite?! Wait,  _ hold on a tick!! _ ” 

Coran turns behind us and calls with a bright grin,  _ “No take backs!”  _

“Get back here!” A grizzly voice shouts from behind us; the mall cop’s keeping up pursuit, racing after us on his little hoverbike.  _ Fuck, he’s still here? _ Keith and I hold onto the material of Coran’s black overcoat with tight grips to keep him clinging to the cow’s side, the weight’s a little off balance but it isn’t affecting our maneuverability.

“Look out, look out,  _ CLOCK!! _ ” Hunk shrieks from the back of the cow. Up ahead, we spot the clock, the thing we were all supposed to meet at in one varga. But now it’s directly in our path, and we’re seconds away from crashing into it.

Lance reacts so fast all I can do is desperately try to hang on. He holds out a hand and grabs onto a pliable pole that sticks out from the ground, which I think is a marker for a street vender, causing the hoverboard to abruptly turn right and sling shot us around the massive clock in the center of the mall floor. I grab onto Pidge as we all let out varying cries of shock and surprise, barrelling fast towards the exit, a large open doorway underneath a set of escalators leading down to our floor.  _ We’re almost out! _

We slip beneath the low entryway, the only sound echoing in the tunnel-like hall is our rapid breath and the buzz of the hoverboard. Bright light emanates on the other side, literally the light at the end of the tunnel. 

A angry shout calls from behind us, “Damn! You better run! And don’t let me catch you in my jurisdiction again,  _ pirates! _ ” 

We blink and look over our shoulders as the momentum of the cow’s hoverboard slowly fades away from our slingshot around the clock. We peer back at the Galra mall cop where he’s ground to a halt just before the exit, glaring daggers at us from his place on the hoverbike. 

Lance, unable to resist the chance to talk shit, sits up from his place at the front of the cow and twists backwards to face the mall cop with a shit eating grin, “Oh, so you can’t follow us outside, huh?” He smirks broadly and raises his hands, to no doubt make some obscene gesture at the cop, but not before the frame of the exit smacks the back of his head as we breeze through it to the other side. Lance falls of the cow and hits the ground with a loud, sharp yelp, his descent completely stalling the hoverboard’s remaining momentum and grinding us to a halt just outside of the mall. The mall cop smirks in a self-satisfied manner from the other end of the exit but he doesn’t follow, instead gliding away on his hoverbike in the other direction. 

With shaky legs I swing off of the cow’s back, white and black fur clinging to my pants as I jump down, grabbing the back of Lance’s jacket and hauling him to his feet, “Walk it off, bud.”

_ “Nnnnngh…” _ Lance moans, a hand over the back of his head with a deeply peeved look.

The others slowly disembark from the cow’s hoverboard, and once we’re all standing in a circle we turn to one another, breathless and flushed from our race through the mall, we abruptly burst into immediate, ab-producing laughter that brings tears to my eyes and makes it difficult to breathe. 

“Dude, we just escaped an alien mall cop, on the back of a  _ cow! _ ” Hunk laughs, clapping with his head thrown back with utter joy. 

“It’s a  _ Kaltenecker! _ ” Lance argues, and although he’s still clutching the back of his head with a sour look he’s still grinning wildly. 

“Lance.” I snicker, clapping a hand on his shoulder and practically wheezing, “It’s a  _ cow. _ ”

“He’s concussed.” Pidge grins with a mocking tone, leaning on her knees as she catches her breath from how hard she was laughing. 

“Alright, Paladins, I’d say the time to leave the swap moon is  _ now. _ ” Despite the seriousness in Coran’s words, his amusement is clear as he raises his eyepatch and wipes a tear from his eye, a wide and brilliant grin stretched beneath his silvery mustache as he lets out a final, chortling laugh.

“Okay, but…” I hold up a hand, moving to stand beside the cow. She’s still standing without any change in her tranquility, gnawing on glass with the calm of a rippleless pool. As I look at her she looks up and meets my gaze with soft brown eyes, like that of a puppy. I can’t resist the urge to rest my hand and scratch the top of her head, right between her horns, sheerly out of habit. She closes her eyes and chews more slowly as any signal of her enjoyment. I turn back to meet the gaze of the rest of the party, “I think we should address the Kaltenecker in the room.” 

“Yeah, actually,” Hunk nods, taking a deep breath to settle his persisting giggles as he gestures to the cow, “Should we keep it?” 

“It was  _ free  _ with  _ purchase _ !” Lance gasps, clasping a hand over his heart in a mockingly dramatic manner. 

“Can we even fit it onto the pod?” Pidge asks with a raised eyebrow, regarding the cow on its hoverboard with genuine curiosity. 

“I think so, but it’ll be a tight squeeze!” Coran answers, twisting his mustache between his fingers as he regards the cow thoughtfully. 

“Do we have hay for it?” I ask, looking at it with furrowed eyebrows, “A place for it to stay? Like, a pasture is best for their mental health but-”

“The simulation chambers are more than equipped for long term animal care.” Coran replies helpfully, causing me to look at him with renewed interest, “It was where we kept animals found on foreign planets when we were returning them to Altea for further study.” 

“Oh.” I mutter, my eyes flying wide in surprise.  _ I’m going to have to see this for myself. If we’re going to have a cow now, I want to make sure that they’re set up in a manner that is beneficial for their health and well being and not just a makeshift. Otherwise, regardless of what Lance says, we ought to find them a better home.  _

We all go silent as we look at each other before all of a sudden Hunk abruptly holds up a fist in the air, racing to the parking lot like the mall cop is hot on our tail,  _ “Shotgun!”  _

“What, no!” Lance retorts, but before he can take off Pidge wordlessly claps the cow’s leash into his hands and walks past him and after Hunk. 

“Hey!” Lance cries, “It doesn’t apply until you see it!” He races after them with the cow trailing behind him, the hoverboard beeping after him like a sentient roomba. 

I shake my head as I head back to the pod with the others, gently touching the bridge of my nose and immediately I’m met with a sharp ache. The more I prod, the more the dull pain sharpens and radiates outward on my face.  _ Ow. _

“Yo, dude, speaking of addressing the Kaltenecker in the room, you look like you got sucker punched, what happened to your  _ face? _ ” I look up at Pidge as she brings my hands down from my face. I can’t help sucking in breath dramatically as she replaces them with hers, inspecting my nose.

I smile sheepishly, “Yikes, looks that bad huh?” I sniffle and grab the bloodied black cloth from my pocket and hold it back up to my face, wiping at any dried blood that may have accumulated. I lock eyes over Pidge’s shoulder at Keith, who’s watching with a disinterested expression out of the corner of his eye as we walk towards the pod. Quickly I flicker my gaze back down to Pidge and give her a slight smile, “Ran into a wall running from the cop. Think it’s broken?” 

“No, I wouldn’t even have been able to tell if you didn’t have blood all over your face.” Pidge answers with a curled nose, regarding my face with scrutiny as we come upon our parked pod, “You should really quit bleeding all the time.” She lets her hands fall as she smirks broadly, “We should start keeping a tally of the amount of times you’ve gotten bloodied.” 

I roll my eyes with a snort, “Oh come on, it’s not  _ my  _ fault I’m clumsy!” 

Lance approaches the back of the pod with the cow at hand, who continues to eat the grass growing from its hoverboard with disinterest, but before he can enter the pod I wave my hand, “Oh hell no, Lance, you go in last with your plus one.” 

I brush past him as Lance makes an indignant noise but relents nonetheless and, clambering in and slumping into the far right corner of the back of the pod . Pidge sits down on the other side with a noise of relief, and that’s when I notice the box. Pidge fishes it out from under her hoodie and sets resting on her lap, seeming to have been produced out of nowhere.  _ Where the fuck was she hiding that? Is her hoodie really that big on her that I didn’t notice- _

“Uh, Pidge?” I raise an eyebrow, pointing at the box as Lance clambers in and attempts to wrangle the cow inside, “What’s that?”

Pidge’s eyes immediately widen with enthusiasm as she holds up the box,  _ “It’s the Mercury Gameflux II with the original power glove that gives you infinite lives if you touch the index finger to the pinky!”  _

I blink stupidly at her as Lance clambers into the back of the pod, the cow in its hoverboard taking up the entire middle of the pod as Lance collapses next to me with a loud huff. He rests his head on my shoulder and shuts his eyes, letting out a loud groan, “ _ Wiiiill,  _ my head hurts.” 

“That’s karma, bitch.” I pat the top of his head gingerly as he continues to groan in complaint. Gently, I smirk a little and thread my fingers through his hair, “You must be concussed as hell,” Lance doesn’t answer except to just groan dramatically. 

I notice Keith boots underneath the cow as he squeezes his way past the cow, shutting the door behind him and sitting down beside Pidge with a slight shake of the cabin as Coran fires up the pod with a powerful hum of the thrusters. The cow doesn’t move, not even to turn her large head to the side, which is fortunate as her head takes up the entire space between the benches. She, surprisingly, doesn’t smell bad, which is a miracle considering she’s a farm animal, but she does smell like grass and hay. Once upon a time, I’d considered that not to be an exactly  _ great  _ smell, but it reminds me so much of home that it’s heavenly. 

“What should we name her?” I ask idly, raising an eyebrow at Pidge from beyond the cow’s head. 

“I think she’s kind of already been named Kaltenecker.” Pidge answers with a shrug. 

Our eyes widen as the cow suddenly lets out a low, deep moo that vibrates the cabin before she continues to munch on her grass like nothing happened. 

We sit in silence for a minute before I giggle softly, “I think we have our answer.” 

Lance smacks my thigh with his free hand in a reprimanding manner as he shifts his face to press into my shoulder, “Stop laughing, your making my head hurt.” 

“You make  _ my  _ head hurt.” I joke with a light grin, to which Lance grumbles angrily into the fabric of my shirt. 

With a crackle over the speakers in the cabin, Hunk’s voice comes full of smug satisfaction, “Oh, Lance, you were right, these heated seats are just  _ divine. _ Ah,  _ magnificent. _ ” 

“Shut your face, Hunk.” Lance grumbles like a pissed toddler into my shoulder as he shifts his body forward, instead leaning his head on Kaltenecker’s shoulder. She doesn’t seem to mind, continuing to eat her grass with continued disinterest. 

We return to the Castle in quiet, pleasant silence, and once the pod starts to slow we brace ourselves and Kaltenecker to touch down back at the Castle. Once we’ve stilled, I look up at Pidge and Keith and raise an eyebrow, “Will one of y’all open the door? I’m blocked by two cows.” Lance blindly reaches back and smacks me.

Keith stands up wordlessly, maneuvering around Kaltenecker and opening the back of the pod. I stand up once the doors are open, planting my feet on the hoverboard that Kaltenecker’s standing on and shoving it backwards and out of the pod. It makes a soft hum as it goes, barely jostling the cow as it glides out into the hanger of the Castle. Pidge, Lance, Keith and I quickly hop out after, and as we stretch our legs Hunk comes around from the front of the pod with a smug look on his face. He raises an eyebrow at Lance as he stretches his arms over his head, “Comfy back there?” 

“I’ll kick you, Hunk.” Lance grumbles with total seriousness, but I can’t help but snicker at his expression, which seems to only feed his concussion-induced ire. But, before anyone can retort, Coran comes around from the other side and immediately waves at us frantically, “Come, to the bridge! We must inform Princess Allura of our success!” 

“Wait!” I huff as the others move to follow after Coran, gesturing to Kaltenecker as she quietly grazes on her hoverboard right where we left her, “What about the cow?” 

“Oh my God! Kaltenecker!” Lance gasps and immediately grabs the cow’s leash, only then turning back towards the bridge with her at hand. The hoverboard hums meekly at his heels as Kaltenecker continues to graze without even a moment’s pause. 

I blink slowly.  _ Wow, Lance is certainly concussed.  _

I shrug and follow after the others to the elevator up to the bridge. 

As soon as the doors open to the bridge, Coran bursts through, pulling the satchel on his back off and holding it aloft with a victorious cry, “We’ve got the lenses!”

“Excellent!” I blink and stall as we enter the bridge when I spot Allura sitting in the central circle, rising to her feet as we enter the room. Her hair is teased up into four, comical ponytails with a bunch of hair ties all the way to the tips, like rubber bands on a tie dye shirt. As she stands four mice, the four Altean mice that were in Allura’s pod that I haven’t seen since we left Arus, leap off of her head and to the ground, staying at her heels like faithful dogs as Allura strides towards Coran with an excited grin, “Now we can get the teludav up and running!” Coran holds out the satchel to her, and she opens it to inspect the scaultrite lenses within before she nods, making her teased hair bounce like pipe cleaners on her head. It’s  _ ridiculous  _ but also  _ adorable.  _

“Where’s Shiro?” I jump when I hear Keith’s voice from behind me,  _ ever the shadow _ . I glance back at him as he turns and looks around the bridge in search for him, but as if on queue the elevator door to the Black Lion’s hanger opens. 

We all turn and look over at Shiro as he strides into the room, and I feel a wave of relief when I see the slight, confident smile that’s etched into his features, yet he appears surprisingly… tired. He looks a bit like he was in the training room for the whole time we were gone, which couldn’t have been more than two hours, I’d bet. 

“What did you do, take a nap?” Allura asks with a coying tone, her eyebrow raised in amusement at him as he enters the room. 

Shiro pauses and crosses his arms comfortably over his chest, a quiet grin appearing across his face as he replies with a lilt of amusement, “Not exactly.” He turns to look at us with gentle, parental warmth in his eyes before his gaze hitches on Lance, and specifically what Lance has at hand, “... Is that a cow?” 

“Mhmm!” Lance nods excitedly, glancing over the cow with a grin, “His name is Kaltenecker!” Almost in response to their name the cow lets out a low moo that echoes in the expansive space of the bridge. 

“Lance,” I mumble, moving to pinch the bridge of my nose but immediately regret the movement as pain shoots up my face, instead running a hand through my hair as I give Lance a tired look, “Might wanna re-check those pronouns.” 

Lance blinks at me stupidly, stooping to intimately examine the cow as Keith turns to Shiro with a raised eyebrow, “So, did you find a way to bond with your lion?”

The gentle eyes of Shiro’s face sharpen as he turns to face Keith, nodding with a glint in his eye as he answers, “Yes, and we need to get moving.” He looks to Coran as he stands beside Princess Allura, pointing to the front of the ship, “We’re headed for the Blade of Marmora’s headquarters.”

Coran nods obediently, gently setting down his satchel of scaultrite lenses as he races to the front, “I’ll plot a course!” 

Pidge grins and practically bounces in excitement, “And while you’re doing that, I’m gonna hook up the video game Lance and I bought!”

Lance gasps as Pidge sits down on the floor right in the middle of the bridge to open the box, dropping Kaltenecker’s leash and plopping down beside her, “Oh heck yeah, let’s get this baby set up!” Pidge and Lance pull on the wires and the console from within, and when I see the familiar endings on the cables I raise an eyebrow and bite my lip. 

_ Should I tell them that I’ve never seen a power outlet in my entire time in the Castle?  _

Apparently, I don’t need to. As Pidge holds up three, color coded IMDH cables, she looks around the bridge for a place to connect them before her smile immediately falls, like the crash of a paper airplane. 

Quietly she stammers, “Where can we…? How can…?” 

Lance blinks at the cables beside her, his eyes flying wide as the realization of disappointment dawns upon them. 

Slowly I step forward and gently pat Pidge’s shoulder as she stares at the IMDH cables in her hands, “I’m sorry for your loss, Pidge.” 

She sniffles with a wide pout, holding the cables in a clenched fist like a weeping widow.

Shiro’s voice causes our attentions to raise from the deep sorrow of the moment, “Coran, what’s your timeline on getting the teludav up and running?”

Coran types on the holographic panel at the front of the ship, throwing his voice over his shoulder, “Oh, it’s going to take at least…. Five to seven quintants.” 

I purse my lips.  _ So far, I’ve gathered that quintants are about as long as a day. So… a week. He’s gonna need a week.  _

Shiro frowns from where he stands beside a quiet, childish-looking Allura, no doubt drawing a similar conclusion. His brow is set as he crosses his arms over his chest, “And what’s the ETA to get to the Blade of Marmora’s base?”

Coran glances over his shoulder at Shiro with pursed lips beneath his preposterous mustache as he looks at his holographic screen, “It’s in the far reaches of the system. It’ll take about the same time to fly there directly as to wait until I can get the teludav up and running again.”

Shiro nods as he digests this information, glancing back at our loose collection around Lance and Pidge sitting on the floor, “Alright, get the Castle moving. Tomorrow we’ll reconvene and go from there, but for tonight you should all get some rest. You’ve had a long day.” 

Pidge takes a deep breath that silences the bridge before she lets out a dramatic wail,  **_“Why are there no IMDH cable plugins on this Castle Ship?!”_ **

I snap my fingers and turn towards the exit, “Alright then, so I’m gonna go eat somewhere where Hunk won’t be forced into indentured servitude, and then I’m going the fuck to sleep.” 

Lance and Pidge both makes distressed sounds at one another as Hunk shakes his head at me, taking off his apron, “I’ll have you know that I got appointed to Head Chef in 10 minutes, thank you very much! That place was gonna be the best restaurant in the mall in 30 if that mall cop hadn’t shown up!” 

I grin a little at Hunk appreciatively but before I leave I shoot a fingergun at Lance, “Hey, Lance, don’t forget to find Kaltenecker a place to sleep tonight, okay?” 

Lance gives me a thumbs up but his demeanor has fallen due to the IMDH failure, “Yeah, okay, okay.” 

Without another word I turn and head out of the bridge, the doors closing behind me and leaving me in the emptiness of the hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Space Mall episode? A fucking National Treasure. I can now type Kaltenecker without looking it up, and literally nothing is better than the grand escape on the back of a hovering cow. NOTHING.  
> Almost to the end now. If you've stuck with, then wow I'm proud of you. Lemme know your thoughts!


	26. A Shift in Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the end of a long day that leads to a long journey, the Paladins of Voltron are eager for some much deserved and much needed rest.  
> \---  
> **WARNING: mentions of transgender body dysphoria about midway through. There'll be a lot of unpacking of this as well, including potentially triggering content with blunt descriptions of medical procedures and dealing with transphobia, so please take care of yourself and proceed with caution. (This takes place after Will falls asleep.)**

I head to the kitchen for some food goo after I quit the bridge. Although I just ate like an hour ago I’m still pretty hungry.  _ Funny how running away from the alien mall police works up an appetite _ .  _ I still can’t believe that’s even real. Like, that whole thing; a bunch of stupid kids from Earth escaping an alien mall while pursued by an alien mall cop on the back of a cow on a hoverboard.  _

_ I know a lot of weird shit’s happened, but that is UP there. _

I grab a bowl and fill it up with green goo, and although I’m a little disheartened to eat the same exact texture I’ve been eating for the past two weeks I’m just glad to be eating it in some goddamn peace and quiet. 

I close my eyes and lean my elbows on the counter as I spoon the goo into my mouth, savoring the sioence and the strange, alien taste of the goo that I  _ still  _ have no idea how to describe its flavor, and once I finish I put my bowl in the dishwasher I head down the hall towards my room. 

I pass the bathroom on my way, and as I glance at the doorway I hesitate, my thoughts floating across my mind like wisps of a cloud.  _ It wouldn’t kill me to clean up, I had a nasty nosebleed... and I’ll definitely feel like sleeping after a hot shower. Yep, that settles it.  _ I head into the bathroom and back to the showers, stripping my shirt over my head on my way and walking into the shower room. I toss my clothes into a pile in the first room and enter the shower area, activating the hot water that immediately begins to steam the room. Man, it’s  _ so nice _ . I’m sure it’s not actually any different, but after the last few days the small things are suddenly exponentially better.

Well, all’s well and good and nice until the hot water pinpricks a light burning pain on my side and my back. I hiss and turn, looking down at the swath of tender, pink skin and remember this morning when I got blasted with those beams. I’d unfortunately forgotten about until this moment. I wince and angle it away from the hot shower water, luckily it doesn’t bother me when it’s not directly being touched by the heat, so I just keep my body angled awkwardly to shelter it from the hot water. 

_ Shit, right. we started the day today fighting off the Galra to save a massive escape vessel that contained hundreds of Taujeerians. And we ended it escaping an alien mall on the back of a cow.  _

I don’t remember the last time that I had an opportunity to shower, or even brush my  _ teeth  _ for that matter, and as I tap the holographic panel for some shampoo I test smell my breath and immediately regret it.  _ I better rectify that shit real quick. _

Under the warm water I feel absolutely giddy with the pampering that comes from basic self care, and of course in junction with the excitement of the chase through the space mall, on the back of a _cow_ no less. _Kaltenecker._ _Where the hell did that name come from?_

Back home, I’d always shower while listening to music. In junction with the white noise of the water it’s like noise cancelling headphones for the inside of my head, which is always welcome, but I don’t have my phone. Hell, I haven’t got anything to play music on for that matter, but I’m definitely feeling like I want to jam to something right now. I rifle through the list of songs I have in my head and sing with loud enthusiasm.    
_ “Falling too fast to prepare for this _ _   
_ _ Tripping in the world could be dangerous _ _   
_ _ Everybody circling is vulturous _ _   
_ _ Negative, nepotist,  _ _   
_ _ Everybody waiting for the fall of man _ _   
_ _ Everybody praying for the end of times _ _   
_ _ Everybody hoping they could be the one,  _ _   
_ __ I was born to run, I was born for this-” 

I dance under the shower water, slapping the shower wall to the beat and to the punch lines as the heated water rinses the shampoo from my hair,    
_ “Whip, whip _ _   
_ _ Run me like a race-horse.  _ _   
_ _ Pull me like a rip-chord. _ _   
_ _ Break me down and build me up _ _   
_ _ I wanna be the slip-slip _ _   
_ _ Word upon your lip-lip _ _   
_ _ Letter that you rip-rip _ _   
_ _ Break me down and build me up _ _   
_ _ Whatever it takes _ _   
_ _ ‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins _ _   
_ _ I do whatever it takes _ _   
_ _ ‘Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains _ _   
_ _ Whatever it takes _ _   
_ _ You take me to the top, I’m ready for whatever it takes _ _   
_ _ ‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins,  _ _   
_ __ I do what it takes-

A small part of me wonders if I should be self conscious right now since these showers are technically communal, but a larger part of me is far too giddy to give a single fuck if someone can hear me so I just let it all drown out with enthusiastic and natural rises and falls in the song.   
_ “Always had a fear of being typical _ _   
_ _ Looking at my body feeling miserable _ _   
_ _ Always hanging on to the visual,  _ _   
_ _ I wanna be invisible _ _   
_ _ Looking at my years like a martyrdom _ _   
_ _ Everybody needs to be a part of the sum _ _   
_ _ Never be enough, I’m the prodigal son,  _ _   
_ __ I was born to run, I was born for this.” 

I bob my head and rub soap on the skin of my shoulders, leaning my head into the hot shower water and  _ thriving  _ off the feel of it pelting my skin and with the snapping part of the song I slap my soapy hands on the glass wall of the shower,   
_ “Whip, whip,  _ _   
_ _ Run me like a race-horse.  _ _   
_ _ Pull me like a rip-chord _ _   
_ _ Break me down and build me up  _ _   
_ _ I wanna be the slip-slip _ _   
_ _ Word upon your lip-lip _ _   
_ _ Letter that you rip-rip _ _   
_ _ Break me down and build me up _ _   
_ _ Whatever it takes _ _   
_ _ ‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins, _ _   
_ _ I do whatever it takes _ _   
_ _ ‘Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains _ _   
_ _ Whatever it takes _ _   
_ _ You take me to the top, I’m ready for whatever it takes _ _   
_ _ ‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins,  _ _   
_ __ I do what it takes-”

I pause and close my eyes, stretching and cracking by spine one vertebrae at a time with my arms flat on the shower wall, drumming my fingers to the more subdued beat.   
_ “Hypocritical, egotistical _ _   
_ _ Don’t wanna be the parenthetical, hypothetical _ _   
_ _ Working on something that I’m proud of, out of the box,  _ _   
_ _ An epoxy to the world and the vision we’ve lost _ _   
_ _ I’m an apostrophe _ _   
_ _ I’m just a symbol to remind you that there’s more to see _ _   
_ _ I’m just a product of the system, a catastrophe _ _   
_ _ And yet a masterpiece, and yet I’m half-diseased _ _   
_ _ And when I am deceased _ _   
_ _ At least I’ll go down to the grave and die happily _ _   
_ _ Leave the body and the soul to be a part of me,  _ _   
_ _ I do what it takes. _ _   
_ _ Whatever it takes _ _   
_ _ ‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins, _ _   
_ _ I do whatever it takes _ _   
_ _ ‘Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains _ _   
_ _ Whatever it takes, _ _   
_ _ You take me to the top, I’m ready for whatever it takes _ _   
_ _ ‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins,  _ _   
_ __ I do what it takes.”

I jam to my heart’s content, rinsing the soap and stretching my arms over my head with a relaxed, deeply content exhale. I escape the hot water once I’m done, turning it off and stepping out to grab a towel from the third room, striding back to the first while towel-drying my hair. I glance down at my dirty clothes that lay on the floor, and I don’t even consider putting them back on for the sake of modesty.  _ Fuck it, male privilege means I can walk back to my room with nothing but a towel around my waist and that’s totally normal, and I’ll be damned if I won’t use it. I feel like we’ve all trauma bonded hard enough that someone seeing me without a shirt isn’t gonna be all that big a deal. _

I grab my clothes from the floor as I wrap my towel around my waist, tucking it against my hipbone to keep it in place as I leave the steamy shower room. 

I set my clothes on the counter by the sinks as I grab my toothbrush from a storage unit in the wall, and as I turn on the fountain sink to rinse my brush, I get a glimpse of my face in the mirror. I have to pause to stare.

My nose, fortunately, doesn’t look at all broken in the slightest, it appears completely untouched, and the burn along my side doesn’t appear like anything other than an abnormally pink stretch of my skin, but I look… different. 

_ I think I have muscles. _

I blink and poke my shoulder and then my bicep in disbelief, before looking down at it myself with confusion to confirm what I’m seeing, but I’m not hallucinating. I have…  _ muscles.  _ There’s a defined outline of my shoulder to my bicep, which I’ve  _ never  _ had in my whole life, but there it be. Right there.  _ I have that. That’s my arm. Wow, the training’s actually had some effect on me. If this is me after two weeks, I’m gonna get shredded. Even field hockey didn’t give me that curve from shoulder to bicep, which I always thought was a tragedy… so wow. I’ll take the little things. _

I brush my teeth and run my fingers through my slowly drying hair to get it to fall into place in a reasonable manner, pushing the red curls out of my face as I switch hands to brush with my other hand. There’s always that  _ one  _ curl that just  _ refuses  _ to listen, it almost always ends up hanging in my face, but I always end up letting it. It’s a part of my aesthetic.

I can’t help but frown a little as I rest a hand on my chest, just beneath my heart, and run my fingertips over the scar beneath my pectoral. Inadvertently without even a pause I recall the events at the mall. 

_ ‘Illegal where, little girl?’ _

I don’t even remember the last time that I was mistaken to be female. Not ever since I came out and started my transition, but since I’ve finished I never thought it’d happen again, that I could bury the anger that comes with misgendering and never think about it again. But, apparently, it wasn’t long enough ago that I didn’t remember what it felt like. 

It feels like some... deep inhumanity, like my essence and identity as a person can be stripped away with but a carelessly used word. It’s annoying, it’s disheartening, and worst of all it makes me feel so utterly  _ powerless  _ to have my self esteem be wrecked by one fucking word, but here we are.  _ I didn’t pee out of a tube for two months, and I certainly didn’t lay bed-ridden for three to feel so emasculated by an alien’s mistake of gender. Besides, it might have even been a translation error, he had a transladazine and sometimes the translations can be a bit off… I just gotta let it go. _

I tilt my head to the side and spit, rinsing out my mouth as I replace my toothbrush in the storage unit. Banishing the thought from my mind, I gather up my clean clothes under one arm and head back to my room. 

The cool metal beneath my feet is refreshing as I walk back, immediately yawning as the lingering heat of the shower clouds my thoughts to think of nothing but the warm comforter and sheets waiting for me back in my room.  _ I’m gonna sleep so fucking hard, gotta compensate for the last two days. God it’s gonna be so fucking great, hopefully I just don’t get any bad dreams or anything because that wouldn’t be fun, but I’m looking forward to sleep way too much right now, so of course I probably will have a nightmare because my subconscious loves to fuck with me- _

As I’m walking past the others’ room to get to mine at the end of the hall one of the doors to my right opens. I thank everything divine in that moment that I didn’t drop anything as I jump like a cat leaping away from a cucumber when Keith walks out of his room. 

_ Well, the universe has a fucking sick sense of humor- _

“Hey- _ o-Oh _ , shit.” Keith looks at me with wide eyes before he immediately peels his gaze away, gluing it to the floor as he rubs the back of his neck, “Sorry, didn’t uh-” 

My entire body fucking _screaming_ like a crazed homosexual, but I’ve got to appear relaxed, lackadaisical. _Relax._ _We’re both just guys, I have a towel on, there is nothing to be ashamed of here, there’s nothing inherently sexual about this, oh Jesus fucking Christ, I am about to Fucking Die on the SPOT-_ “Relax, Keith.” I shrug nonchalantly, and I’m honestly so impressed with myself at how disinterested and unaffected my voice sounds as I wave at him with my free hand, “Sorry if I startled you. Get some rest, yeah?” 

Keith doesn’t look up at me, his gaze is firmly planted on the floor and I can see that his ears are turning bright red as he finally lets out a short breath, “... Yeah.” His voice sounds tight, like he’s choking. 

I’m not about to stick around to continue this horribly awkward conversation. I turn and enter my room as fast as is socially acceptable and as soon as the door shuts behind me I immediately plant my face into the wall.

_ I’m never walking in just a towel from the showers. Ever. Fucking. Again. Fuck you too, universe. _

I give myself a few seconds to breathe, to recover because  _ that  _ just happened, and once I’m able to function like a straight person again I toss my clothes down the laundry chute and fumble for some clean clothes in my drawers. I pull on some gray sweatpants, or at least, what I think are sweatpants but who fucking knows, they’re Altean clothes, and a random white shirt from the drawers and immediately get into bed. I curl up beneath the sheets, closing my eyes with a loud exhale, ready for some unconsciousness.

Immediately, the day’s events wash over me like a tidal wave, like they always do when I’m trying to get a decent night’s sleep.

_ I woke up this morning to Keith and Allura having vanished. We went and saved a host of Taujeerians from being killed by their own planet because of the cruelty of the Galra, and then, after all that, we went to a space mall that Coran thought was the black market. Hunk got indentured into that guy, Vrepit Sal, and then I literally crashed into Keith…  _

I touch my nose as I roll onto my other side, wincing as it still aches beneath my prodding. Instead I bury my arms into my comforter to avoid touching it.  _ He was running too, actually. He said we had to get out of there. I was too wrapped up in my own head to even think as to why, but… why? Did he get in trouble too? He had sheathed his knife when he helped me up, so he had it out while he was running, but why? Was he attacked? Fuck, why didn’t I ask if he was okay?! What the fuck is wrong with me, I just immediately went straight to being pissed off and insulting him from the get go, I couldn’t get out of my own way to be a decent human being- _

I roll over in bed again and glare at the wall, letting out a loud, exhausted sigh. 

_ I have to go apologize.  _

I hate apologizing. It fucking sucks, it’s uncomfortable, and what’s worse is that I hate being in the wrong. I try my best every day to be the best person I can be, and although I know that I’m human and I mess up, that doesn’t mean I have to like it when I fall short. 

_ But I have to. Things with Keith were already fucking weird before, but I can’t let my lashing out jeopardize the team even more than my decisions already have. _

_ And I might as well apologize for being a hardass while I’m at it. _

As I sit up in bed, I peer off to the side.  _ Should really do this  _ **_now_ ** _? Can’t I wait for this tomorrow? No, I really can’t, I’ll forget, and then it’ll be too far past to do anything about it… If I just let it go then it’ll just fester.  _ I see a shadow beneath my dresser as my thoughts mull together and immediately I remember what lies beneath, what I’d tossed there the night before. 

_ Fuck, might as well, two birds with one stone, get that thing out of here before I sleep with it anymore. Oh fuck me, now I  _ **_really_ ** _ gotta go.  _

Sighing and steeling my nerves, I rise to my feet and bend over to grab his jacket from beneath my dresser. I shake it out for any dust, the red, windbreaker material rustling as I walk out of my room and across the hall to Keith’s with the jacket at hand.  _ He’d been leaving when he stumbled on me in the hall, and I escaped before I saw if he went back inside or if he left. If he isn’t here, I’ll do it tomorrow. Okay, good compromise, good compromise.  _ So, hoping he had in fact left, I rap on the door before I lose the courage to do so.

It almost immediately dies when the door opens. Keith raises his eyebrow at me in surprise from the other side of the doorway.

_ Oh, fuck, this is gonna be harder than I thought.  _

“Hey.” I start, swallowing awkwardly as Keith responds in kind, his voice is tentative but guarded, “Hey.” 

I let out a sigh, keeping my gaze firmly planted on the floor and my hands as they grasp onto his stupid,  _ stupid,  _ jacket.  _ You got this, Lancaster.  _ “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Not about the hall just now, I mean back at the mall.” I risk a glance up at Keith and see that his expression is unreadable, as per usual, but I quickly look back down to my hands so I can focus all of my quickly waning courage into getting the words out that need to be said, “I was being really hard on you. It wasn’t fair, and I shouldn’t have confronted you at the… well, the worst possible time.” I flicker my gaze back up to Keith’s only briefly but I look away before I can actually see his expression as I finish with a curt, “So I’m sorry.” 

Everything’s quiet for a few, long, long seconds, and I wonder if I should turn and head back to my room just as Keith answers in a surprisingly soft voice, “It’s okay.” 

I look up and meet his eyes, they’re glowing like the deep dark cosmos of space. His expression is softer, his shoulders visibly relaxed with his hands shoved into his black jean pockets. He’s ditched the jacket I see, apparently his  _ second  _ jacket, because owning just one of these monstrosities wasn’t bad enough. He appears to have been getting ready to sleep as his belt with his knife lays on his bed, probably tossed aside when I knocked, and his boots are kicked off to the side of the room.

When I see his knife laying on his bed curiosity begins to grow; I flicker my gaze back to his after a moment’s pause, “What happened at the mall?” 

Keith blinks at me stupidly for a solid Mississippi or two, “What?”

“What happened at the mall?” I repeat, worming my fingertips through his jacket in my hands to distract myself from the lump building in my throat, “Why were you running? You know, with your knife?” 

Keith’s gaze shifts off to the side, his hands are missing their typical fingerless gloves as he rubs the back of his neck, shifting the loose black locks of his hair to the side at the movement, “Oh, uh, nothing. Nothing, just… Got in trouble, for having a weapon.” He gestures vaguely over his shoulder, letting his hands drop as his gaze slowly lifts to mine, “You know, like Coran said… No weapons.” 

It’s a valid excuse, it makes perfect sense to me, but something about the abundance of movement tells me Keith’s hiding something. The hesitation, the inability to look at me until he was done talking… it all spells out  _ L-Y-I-N-G  _ to me. 

I look down at my hands, clinging to Keith’s rumpled jacket.  _ Now is not the time to be picking at him for this. If he doesn’t want to tell me, he doesn’t have to. I’m probably just reading too much into it anyway. What matters is that he’s okay.  _ When I look down at the material of Keith’s jacket, I immediately remember my second purpose for being here,  _ wow my thoughts are in shambles. _ I hold out his jacket with locked elbows as I clear my throat, “Oh, and um… your jacket. I thought you’d want it back after uh… You know, letting me borrow it.”

“Oh.” Keith blinks at me as I fumble for words, and slowly he steps forward and accepts his jacket from me. His movements are slow and steady, like he’s afraid I’ll jerk away at the last second if he moved too fast. I release the jacket into his hands, and he peers up at me with a look on his face that I can’t describe. Everything about Keith’s expressions are damn near always an enigma to me, and it’s honestly such a struggle when I’m trying to get a read on what he’s thinking. 

“Thanks,” Keith mutters after a moment, glancing down at the jacket before looking back up at me with a raised eyebrow, “Is it because it’s a… what did you call it… a fashion crime?” 

I snort inadvertently, laughing softly which immediately alleviates the tension in my shoulders as I reply, “No, no. I mean, it _ is _ a fashion crime, let’s be clear, but ah…” I flicker my gaze from Keith’s confused expression to his jacket in his arms, smirking a little with a slight shrug, “It’s  _ your _ fashion crime. It suits you, I guess.”

Keith peers at me with that same look as before, holding his jacket in both of his hands like it’s a boxed present. He’s looked at me more than once with that expression, at times that I can never fucking figure out why; it’s kind of like astonishment, his eyebrows are upturned and his lips are slightly parted like he’s surprised, but his gaze is soft and gentle rather than surprised like the rest of his face...  _ God, I will never be able to figure this boy out.  _

“So, are we good?” I ask with a raised eyebrow, gesturing to the space between Keith and I as I try to keep the hardened lump in my throat from choking me for asking the question. 

Keith flickers his gaze from his jacket and then back up to me, and after a moment he nods slowly, “Yeah, we’re good.” 

I let out a soft breath of relief, “Good.” 

_ Alright. You said what needed to be said. Now get out of here before you make another bad gay decision.  _

As I turn to head back to my room, I don’t make it a few steps away before Keith’s voice calls me from over my shoulder, “Hey, Will?”

_ Shit, shit, shit, straight face, straight face, straight Will.  _

I turn and face Keith with a raised eyebrow, keeping my face neutral and patient although my mind is screaming like a monkey clanging a gong,  _ what does he want what’s he gonna say, can we panic now? Can we panic n- _

“You never answered me, back at the mall.” 

I blink, looking at Keith with a confused expression, “And what question were you asking me, again?”

Keith doesn’t answer for a long moment. He has his jacket balled up and held in one hand at his side, the other rested on his doorway while he stares at me with this shrouded gaze that digs into my chest with daggers. Finally, his black eyes flicker as he speaks, “... Why do you care so much that I left?” Keith’s voice is even, so even that as my soul immediately descends into hell at the innocent words that leave Keith’s lips I have a hard time believing that he doesn’t comprehend the sort of question he just asked me. He’s just standing in his doorway, holding his jacket that I’ve spooned  _ several  _ times and asking me-

_ ‘Why do you care?’  _

I stare at Keith with narrowed eyes, flickering my gaze down to his jacket and to his unchanging expression. Slowly I taste the words as they leave my lips, “... What game are you playing, right now?”

Keith blinks at me with total confusion, an eyebrow raised as he asks with complete innocence, “Game? I’m not playing any game…?”

I almost believe him. A small part of me wonders if he’s genuinely intrigued as to why I give a fuck about him, which breaks my heart and leads me to believe that there’s no way he would ask me that unless he’s asking… 

_ You fucking know why I care, Keith. You know. Why are you asking me this. Why are you making me say it again. _

I bite my lip as I struggle to find the proper words, and I can feel the blush that spreads across my face burning brighter with each passing moment that I feel Keith’s gaze boring into me. 

_ Hell no. I’m not playing this game. I’m not falling into this trap.  _

_ We are not playing this game right now.  _

Finally, I crack a slight smile. I’m not sure where the smile comes from, I think it’s from sheer anxiety, but as I meet Keith’s confused gaze I turn away from him to head back to my room with a slight wave over my shoulder, “Goodnight, Keith.” 

_ Okay, universe, I’ll forgive you for having Keith walking out when I was in my towel in the hall if you just… don’t have Keith pressuring me for an answer, please all deities in this bitch of a universe-  _ “... Night, Will.” 

I hear his door close as I walk back into my room, and as soon as my door closes I collapse facedown onto my bed with a loud groan into the pillows. 

_ Okay, world. We’re even, we good.  _

_ Just… damn, please have mercy on my gay ass in the future, please, ‘cause, well…  _

_ Damn, I need a fucking break. _

_... _

_ “It’d really be such a shame if you cut it, it’s got such volume!” _

_ “Any girl would pay thousands of dollars to have hair like yours, you can’t just let it go to waste!” _

_ “Excuse me, ma’am.” _

_ “Listen, I love you Beth, and I know how this sounds but only lesbians cut their hair short like that, which is totally fine if you are or whatever but I just want you to know that’s what everyone’s gonna think.”  _

_ “So, you’re just gonna be a guy now? What brought this on?” _

_ “You might regret cutting your hair short like that, this isn’t a decision you can just come back from.”  _

_ “What if you change your mind halfway through? Then what?” _

_ I’m standing naked in front of a mirror, in a body I recognize, a body that once was mine but wasn’t really; it was the body that hid my true self beneath it. Long crimson hair covers most of it from sight, wild waves and crinkling curls that cascade over my shoulders and drape down to an inch or so above my hip bones, my head feels heavy. I’d forgotten how heavy it feels.  _ _   
_ _ Insistently the voices continue, pressing against me almost physically and cramping me closer to the mirror.  _

_ “Beth, you’re looking so beautiful honey, come take a picture with your grandmammy,”  _

_ “Why don’t you just shave underneath, that’s popular right now, and practically the same thing! Just to test the waters, you know?” _

_ “You should be grateful, nothing is more powerful than a strong woman.”  _

_ “I can already tell that you’re going to get a wonderful figure, the boys’ll be lining right up once you even out.”  _

_ I hiss and claw my hands through my hair and against my ears to force them out but these voices aren’t sounds, they’re in my head.  _

_ “Woo, there’s a pretty lady, come say hello!”  _

_ “Do you want a ‘you can’t grab this’ sticker?”  _

_ “She.”  _

_ “Her.”  _

_ Get out of my head.  _

_ I stare straight ahead at the glass, at my wide eyed expression reflected and almost hidden among the curls right as I feel something heavy and sharp in my hand, pressed right against my skull where my hands are clapped over my ears. _

_ I reach up with the scissors without a second thought, grabbing a chunk of my hair and cutting through the thick lock like a hatchet chopping down an old, diseased tree, the cold metal brushes against my scalp in an intoxicating manner like I just barely executed a difficult task.  _

_ The voices immediately cease as I grip the long flow of hair in my fist like a length of rope, staring at my reflection in the mirror.  _

_ Everything’s so quiet.  _

_ I grab another piece and cut. Another chunk and a cut, another fistful and a cut, last long piece hanging in the back and it’s gone.  _

_ I’m surrounded by the remains of my hair. The body I once had is gone, faded with each strand of hair that fell. I recognize myself again.  _

_ When I let out a breath of relief the scenery changes.  _

_ I’m in someone’s house, it’s Juniper’s, I recognize the clock on the mantelpiece and the arc of the windows that rattle from the force of the thumping bass. The very air around me vibrates like we’re partying inside a purring cat, it’s humid and hot with the incessant press of bodies all around me, the darkness only broken intermittently by brilliant strobe lights that make me a little dizzy. There’s a dull ache in the center of my chest at the sights, the sensations, a past memory pulled to the present. I look down for the source and see a strange, gaping hole in my chest. I can see straight through my body at the strobe lights on the shifting shoes behind me like I just got shot with a cannonball, but there’s no blood, and the lights lengthen from behind it like I’m looking at them through glass. It’s like I was simply born like a donut. The actual hole doesn’t hurt necessarily, not like I expected it would, but it  _ **_aches_ ** _. It feels like my body’s trying to close around it but it won’t, it stays stubborn and angry and piercing into my body like a kernel stuck in my teeth. _

_ I stumble a little as a hands grab my waist, pulling me against an unknown form with fingertips digging into the fabric of my jeans. If it were any other occasion, if it were any other type of night I would’ve escaped, but something about the tug fills me with warmth. As the hands wrap around my waist and rest just below my hip bones, tugging me backward, the hole begins to ache a little less, the warmth numbing the persisting waves. I look down at the hole in my chest as something that smells like apple cider seems to fill in its place, like the hole in my chest is a glass vase. Some part of me doesn’t think that this is strange, or wrong, in fact it makes me feel… good. Wanted. God, I missed this feeling of someone wanting to touch me.  _

_ I press back against the dancing figure pressed up behind me and reach an arm around to pull my fingers through their hair, the bass seems to hum through my veins as I start to dance with it. They pull my hips back towards them and I feel hot breath on the back of my neck, something like chai tea lays on my tongue as I roll my hips in time with the music. The person behind me tugs me back so rough that I nearly fall, their entire body is pressed against my back. I feel their lips press to the back of my neck and travel, leaving hungry, open-mouthed kisses along my skin and biting at the space where my neck meets my shoulder. I curl my fingers in their hair with one hand and tug in affirmation, goading them on as I lead their hands grasping my waist to glide under my shirt. They take the opportunity with enthusiasm, reaching up and skimming my skin with grabbing, hungry fingers upward. Their hands glide straight over the surface of the hole in my chest, completely undeterred as it continues to fill with this warmth and seasonal spice, my breath hitches when they bite my neck. The warmth thickens like syrup, encompassing me entirely like I just fell into a vat of the stuff. This touching, this person is soothing the ache like aloe on a burn, I know it won’t be able to pull the glass hole out of me but filling it up like a pitcher is better than the hurt I had without it.  _

_ With a tug on my waist I’m whirled around to face my dance partner. I vaguely recognize him, some guy from school, no one I’ve ever looked at twice, but now they’re the one person with all of my undivided attention and I want no one else. I wrap my arms around his neck and dance closely pressed against him, digging my hands into his hair while fixing him with the gaze of an apex predator ready to pounce. _

_ His hands glide along my waist as he noses my cheek, his touches continuing backward before moving into the back pockets of my jeans, grinding me against him. I let out a soft chuckle and slowly grab onto his shirt collar, whispering into his ear with a tug of my teeth on his earlobe, “C’mon.”  _

_ He practically staggers as I lead him through the dancing horde, the pulsing light humming through my veins like a shot of espresso, the ache is lesser than before as its replaced with a minute flash of excitement and warmth. I pull him upstairs, the hall light’s too bright and I don’t want to look back for the overly revealing light to dwindle my resolve. I know Juniper’s and her parent’s room are off limits, naturally of course, but the reasonably sized linen closet down the hall isn’t.  _

_ I open the door and tug him in, and once we’re inside, enveloped in complete darkness save for the orange light of the hall light from underneath the closed door, I press my lips against his. He kisses me back with equal rigor, his hands waste no time in winding around my waist and grabbing onto my belt loops to press me roughly against him. I let out a groan against his lips, my hand sliding down his chest and fumbling with the button of his pants. They’re clumsy, I feel a little heady, the steady trickle of the filling hole in my chest has increased to a faster dribble, like a sink half turned on and I want it to fill up faster, perhaps with something a little warmer. He makes a noise against my lips, his mouth gliding down to my jaw as he pushes me backward against the door, causing it to rattle from the surprising force. I let out a soft breath in surprise as his lips brush against my ear, his voice is heavy with drink as he growls, “I’m gonna fuck that little boy-pussy of yours so good.”  _

_ His words momentarily bring me out of the pleasure of the moment.  _

_ What the fuck did he just say to me?  _

_ Before I can speak his lips return to mine, hungry and wanting and I barely have the mentality but to comply. You know what? I don’t care. I just have to alleviate this ache in my chest, I’ll do just about anything to get it to stop.  _

_ All of a sudden with a daring, forward push, he wedges his hand between us and grabs my crotch with hooked fingers.  _

_ I make a sharp breath in response at his forwardness when all of a sudden the heat recedes, he’s pulling away. I blink, braced against the wall and looking at his shadowy form with confusion, “What’s wrong?” My voice sounds strange, it echoes yet it’s no quieter than a whisper. _

_ “... What the hell?” He mutters in utter confusion, his words are slurring, “I thought you were trans?”  _

_ A sudden, piercing pain stabs the bottom of  the glass of the half full hole in my chest. The pleasant warmth seeps out and it’s quickly being replaced with frost that stems from the top of the glass and inching its way downward in the hole that was just made like a shower head stabbed into the side of a glass door.  _

_ “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I hiss, the heady pleasure’s gone and there’s nothing but growing cold that makes everything unexplainably ache worse than before.  _

_ “I thought that means you’ve got a…” I can see his hand waving vaguely in my direction, “How the hell do you have a dick? I thought you were a trans _ **_guy_ ** _?”  _

_ I feel my hands shake, the frost is reaching outwards and beyond the empty glass shell of the gaping hole in my chest. I grit my teeth as my fists clench and growl with barely contained hurt, “You’re  _ **_disgusting_ ** _.”  _

_ I shove him hard back into the linen closet as I turn and rip open the door. I hear him yelp followed by the crack of wood as he falls on one of the shelves, but I literally could not care less as I slam the door behind me and stomp back down the stairs.  _

_ The strobe lights are too bright, the music’s too loud, the bass is too violent. The broken glass at the base of the hole in my chest flakes off and leaves a trail in my wake, I idly think that that’s a hazard with so many drunks around but I don’t care, I don’t care. I just wanna go home, I wanna go home.  _

_ I wanna go home.  _

_ … _

I think I would’ve kept sleeping if my crying hadn’t constricted my throat to the point that it makes me choke on my sobs. I hiccup and blink through the watery haze, wiping my eyes furiously with my sleeve and rolling over onto my side. I curl into the tightest ball I can as a painful, familiar ache returns deep in my chest, permeating out like I half-swallowed a pill, it’s an ache I haven’t felt in such a long time but it’s back with such frightening force it’s rendering me completely unresponsive. I’m not sure what kind of ache it is anymore, an ache for who I am or an ache of what I wanted but the more I try to force the tears and thoughts away the fiercely vivid dream pushes them back, like we’re having a tug of war battle with the lid to the box I was storing these emotions in. 

I take a shaky breath and whisper between sobs, “One, two, three, four, five, I’m alive, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, breathe again.” 

It helps a little, but the tears continue to roll, making me sob so surprisingly hard that it’s taking all of my effort to keep it quiet.  _ I’m not sure how soundproof these walls are when it’s so quiet, but I don’t want to risk waking the others.  _

It takes me a while to calm down. By the time I can breathe without sobbing my pillow’s wet and my mind throbs dully in the back of my skull. I calm my breathing with practiced breaths, closing my eyes as I roll onto my back. Once my breath has returned to normal I close my eyes to fall asleep again. 

The world begins to spin. I feel a little more nauseous with each passing second, it’s like I’m laying on the top of a merry-go-round that’s going three times faster than it’s supposed to. Eventually I can’t bear it, I sit up and hold my head in my hands with my elbows rested on my knees to get the feeling to go away. I take measured breaths to settle the nausea, keeping my eyes fixed on the shadow of my bookshelf in front of me to keep me grounded and to stop the world from spinning so fast.

Finally, it does. Everything returns to normal again. 

_ There’s no way in hell I’ll be falling back asleep, not in this condition. I have to do something to mitigate this.  _

I sit up and rub my eyes, tapping the holographic panel by my bed. It’s 2am.  _ Good, I’m sure nobody’ll be awake at this time after the crazy day we had yesterday, I don’t have to worry about anyone stumbling on me or knocking or... _

I stand up with a stretch, rubbing my tired eyes as they settle on the shadow in the corner of my room, sitting by the door.  _ The guitar I made back on Olkarion.  _

_ God fucking bless, I can play some music.  _

_ But… I shouldn’t do it here. I might wake someone up. I better take this somewhere where I won’t bother anyone… Maybe my lion? No, I don’t want to be somewhere cramped right now, I need something wide open and quiet…  _

I pick up my guitar and pull the strap over my head, walking out into the dark hall. The soft blue accented lighting within the walls lights my way like bright stars on a white trail to heaven, my footsteps soft amid the suffocating quiet, quiet I desperately want to fill,  _ but not until I leave the hall.  _

_ It was so nice to walk on Olkarion through the forest, even more so to play music among the trees, just like I was back at camp. I wish I had some semblance of nature here, something to admire and…  _

_ The bridge has a glass view of space. That’s something… something that might just work to keep me calm and pull my pieces back to normal.  _ I pick up my stride with my destination in mind, twirling my guitar around to the front of my body now that I’ve left the residential hall behind. Quietly, I strum. 

The halls seem to reverberate with the music, quiet and sweet like honey that oozes through my blood and encompasses the deep, aching pain within. It’s not quite soothing nor curing the pain, but it cloaks it, swallowing it in layers I can bury it in. With soft steps I stride onto the bridge. 

The soft blue light of the Balmeran crystal glimmers overhead, casting azure shadows across the room like I’m beneath an aquarium. Just beyond, past the crystal and rolling out before me lies the black and blue abyss of space. There is a soft yellow nebula swirling far in the distance, it’s so large that I have no clue how to scale it. It casts the surrounding space in shades of scarlet and orange like a sunset as the stars glimmer from beyond, like freckles dancing along the nebula’s skin. 

I sit on the ledge of Allura’s circle and dangle my feet over into Shiro’s station, my feet resting on the back of his chair. Setting my guitar in my lap, I stare out at the vast night sky, the hum of the Castle’s thrusters propelling us forward a pleasant white noise that vibrates my bones. 

_ I can’t believe there’s so much… beauty here. I will never get over the ethereal gorgeousness of the galaxy, there’s nothing I can even compare this to on Earth. I wish I could take a picture… but I don’t think a picture would be capable of encompassing how breathtaking this is. _

I keep playing. 

The notes are nothing in particular, anything that sounds appealing and fills me with some semblance of good and warmth. I hit a familiar note, the intro to a quiet song pulled from deep in my subconsciousness. I close my eyes and I can see the first time I heard the song, I was sitting at a campfire with my counselor friend in the deep of night, the campers were asleep. Chase James Scott Brian, the man with four first names as I liked to call him, was teaching me how to play it. He was incredibly old, especially as a counselor at a summer camp, close to his 60s or 70s, he showed me how to play on his own guitar. I remember the firelight cast against his green eyes turned them into seaweed in the darkness of the night, it must’ve been something like one in the morning in the woods that night as it was pitch black beyond the fire. He loved the band, Led Zeppelin. He told me the music the band played was from the twenty first century, he called it the birth of rock and roll before its resurgence in the 2070’s. He was the first person to really get me into learning how to play, it was the first song I learned on the guitar. I think I’ve always had an affinity for twenty first century songs because of him, even though the acoustics as a genre didn’t really die out until the 50’s. So, keeping my eyes sealed shut I follow the song, tracing it back to the introductory notes. I’m alone, this solitude gives me a sense of freedom that I haven’t felt in some time, and without a second thought I let my voice come with the notes, the words melt into the dull white hum of the Castle’s thrusters.    
_ “There’s a lady who’s sure _ _   
_ _ All that glitters is gold, _ _   
_ _ And she’s buying a stairway to heaven. _ _   
_ _ When she gets there, she knows, _ _   
_ _ If the stores are all closed, _ _   
_ _ With a word she can get what she came for, _ _   
_ _ Oh, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven. _ _   
_ _ There’s a sign on the wall, _ _   
_ _ But she wants to be sure, _ _   
_ _ ‘Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.  _ _   
_ _ In a tree, by the brook,  _ _   
_ _ There’s a songbird who sings, _ _   
_ _ ‘Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiving,’  _ _   
_ __ It makes me wonder. Oh, it makes me wonder.”

I let my head fall close to the guitar body, the music moves through me like I’m the conduit for the flow of a still river. It fills me with a sense of calm, but even still it’s bare-bones. It’ll get knocked over with a persistent breeze. I tilt my head to the side and look up out of the glass, my voice is quieter, fragile, but I let it be as such. I have no need for barriers in my music.  _   
_ _ “There’s a feeling I get, _ _   
_ _ When I look to the west, _ _   
_ _ And my spirit is crying for leaving, _ _   
_ _ In my thoughts I have seen  _ _   
_ _ Rings of smoke through the trees, _ _   
_ _ And the voices of those who stand looking. _ _   
_ _ It makes me wonder. Oh, it makes me wonder. _ _   
_ _ And it’s whispered that soon, if we all call the tune, _ _   
_ _ Then the piper will lead us to reason. _ _   
_ _ And a new day will dawn, _ _   
_ _ For those who stand long,  _ _   
_ __ And the forest will echo in laughter.”

I don’t remember the last time I played a guitar. I played on my keyboard mostly, almost compulsively for the past months leading up to finding the Blue Lion and then way back in the summer months after Damien left, died, whatever. Music was the most powerful tool of mine, the perfect outlet for my emotions but even it wasn’t working as a calming tool anymore when the dreams started to get more and more intense. The sharp ache in my fingertips is evident of the time I haven’t played with strings, but the pain grounds me, it holds me here and now. I carry on, I  _ have  _ to stay in the music, even as my knuckles hurt because I’m pressing down so hard, I don’t care. I have to stay in the music.    
_ “If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow, _ _   
_ _ Don’t be alarmed now. _ _   
_ _ It’s just a spring clean for the May queen, _ _   
_ _ Yes, there are two paths you can go by, _ _   
_ _ But in the long run,  _ _   
_ _ There’s still time to change the road you’re on. _ _   
_ _ Oh, and it makes me wonder.  _ _   
_ _ Your head is humming and it won’t go _ _   
_ _ In case you don’t know, _ _   
_ _ The piper’s calling you to join him _ _   
_ _ Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow? _ _   
_ _ And did you know, _ _   
_ __ Your stairway lies on the whispering winds.”

I slide my fingers along the frets into a new chord when all of a sudden a noise makes every hair on my body stand up, the streaking squeak the strings make when my fingers are sweaty. It’s not an unusual sound or anything I haven’t heard before, but the break from the music rips the bandaid I’d carefully placed over it off like I’m getting waxed. When I close my eyes I see the shadow outlined before the wall, the incredulous, slurred words,  _ ‘I thought you were trans?’  _

My fingers grab the neck of my guitar so hard my knuckles turn white, and before I can stop it the tears start to flow all over again.

I grit my teeth in a last ditch attempt to drown the memory out, squeezing my eyes shut as I think of Chase’s viridian gaze in the darkness of the forest to force out the blackness of the linen closet.    
_ “And as we wind on down the road, _ _   
_ _ Our shadows taller than our soul, _ _   
_ _ There walks a lady we all know, _ _   
_ _ Who shines white light and wants to show _ _   
_ _ How everything still turns to gold. _ _   
_ _ And if you listen very hard _ _   
_ _ The tune will come to you at last. _ _   
_ _ When all are one, and one is all, _ _   
_ _ To be a rock and not to roll… _ _   
_ __ And she’s buying the stairway to heaven.” 

For a moment, all is calm. I take a shaky breath and finish the ending, closing my eyes as I mentally thank Chase James Scott Brian for inspiring this moment of relative safety. 

Thinking about it now, I remember the summer,  _ that  _ summer in particular more clearly than before. I wasn’t transitioned at that time at camp. Chase told me that he taught me that song because he saw something in me in the song; he’d told me that he wanted me to see myself in the music. 

_ That I’m the stupid lady who’s buying the stupid stairway to heaven.  _

All thoughts of recollecting myself collapse like the long burnt out wood of a fire, it wretches open the gaping pain in my chest like a hand reaching into my metaphorical ribcage and tearing it open, leaving me aching and bare. Giving up, I let my hand drop the neck of the guitar, instead covering my face in my hands and allowing myself to cry. 

_ Of course my stupid, fucked up brain can find a way to tarnish that memory, too. There’s no way it’s that deep, you’re just choosing to think about it that way as some fucking method to hurt yourself, hurt  _ **_my_ ** _ self. Not everything is about gender or perception of it you dumb, fucking, ginger piece of- _

A voice cracks the dull silence of the bridge like thunder, “Whoa, Will? Are you okay?” 

_ Oh, fuck me. _

I freeze. I’ve never gotten such instantaneous embarrassment before, the blush that crawls up my throat and into my face upon being found makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide for all eternity. I don’t dare face him, instead holding my breath to stop the sobs as I wipe my tears with as much subtlety as I can manage, “What? Yeah, sorry, didn’t mean to wake you, Hunk. You should uh…” I have to stop to sniff before I can continue, “You should go back to bed-”

“No, you didn’t wake me, it’s alright.” Hunk murmurs in a gentle, quiet tone, I can feel his heavy footsteps approaching me from behind, “I was just up getting a midnight snack and then I heard this really pretty music and I went to find it and…” I curl in on myself in embarrassment, as Hunk pauses. I watch him lower himself to sit on the ledge of Allura’s circle to my right, but I turn my head to the left, tuning with subtle twists of the pegs of my guitar as an excuse to hide my face from him. No doubt I’m red-eyed and stricken and gross-

“What’s wrong?” Hunk asks quietly, goading yet gentle. If it were anyone else, Shiro, Lance,  _ God if it was Keith-...  _ I would’ve left. I would’ve gotten up and run away no matter how many times they’d call me back, but something about Hunk’s gentle voice and warm body pressed against my thigh makes the tears well up in my cheeks all over again, for no good reason other than the floodgates are broken and hanging open. 

“It’s stupid.” I answer with a sharp intake of breath to keep my voice steady. I try to press my fingers against the strings to play something to fill the space besides the consistent hum of the Castle but my fingertips hurt too much; I’m too out of practice and I was pressing far too hard when I played.  _ Stupid, stupid- _

“No, what’s stupid is baking scaultrite cookies.” Hunk jokes with a slight lilt, and despite the deep ache that’s driven in my chest like a railroad spike I find it within me to smile, “How you feel is never stupid.” He concludes in a more serious manner.

Giving up on music to save me from the situation, I pull the strap off of my shoulders and set it aside, strings up on the ground behind me. I rest my arms in my lap, my shoulders slumped forward as I hang my head, “Hunk, did you know that I’m trans?” 

“... Yeah.” He answers after a few beats of hesitation, his voice is mixed with confusion, “You mentioned it when Pidge came out just before we left Arus.” 

I bite my lip, taking a slightly shaky breath as I speak without any thought behind my words, “Could you tell? Before I said anything, or if I hadn’t said anything… would you’ve known?” 

Hunk takes a long time to speak. I’m far too tired and vulnerable to make eye contact right now to see why he hasn’t said anything, but I can see his large, warm hands messing with the frayed thread coming from one of his cargo short pockets. Finally, after long moments of silence, Hunk speaks in a more direct, yet still gentle tone, “That’s not really what you’re thinking about though, is it?” 

_ Goddamnit, can’t I ask questions without getting psychologically analyzed? _

I look off to the side, a stone lodging in my throat when I hear Hunk take an inspired, short intake of breath. I glance over at him out of the corner of my eye and meet his slanted, calf-brown eyes as they glimmer in recognition like coffee in the overhead light, “Back at the mall. Vrepit Sal, when he accidentally…  _ Oh. _ ” 

I feel like a leaf caught in a screen door. When I look down at my clenched fists in my lap I can see that they’re trembling. _ I have to contextualize this. I have to show him the full story so he knows, so he can gather his own opinion with all the facts, _ “Listen, I… It’s not like I wanted to keep it a secret or anything I just…” I let out a soft sigh and close my eyes, “I fully transitioned when I was fifteen, just before my parents and I moved to Texas.” I grit my jaw to keep my voice from shaking but we’re  _ well  _ past the point of reigning in any semblance of self control now, it wavers no matter how hard I try.  _ Just get the words out, Lancaster. _ “It was so… hard. It was so fucking scary, Hunk.” I flicker my gaze over to him as my voice shakes harder with each word, “I was bedridden for three months with ice packs on my chest to keep my  _ freshly attached _ nipples from falling off. I had to pee out of a tube that came out of my lower stomach for two, and then when I was finally well enough to get up and move, everything was new and different. I had to learn how to walk with a dick between my legs and have good posture without something in the front of my chest and  _ then _ I was faced with all these people who saw me as one thing for all my life, and then all of a sudden three months later I’m basically a whole new person-” Hunk reaches out a hand and gently rests it over my shaking fist, enveloping it with warmth that soaks into my bones. I latch onto it fiercely, unable to meet his gaze as I spit out the words, “It was  _ so fucking hard,  _ Hunk. But what’s worse is it’s so fucking  _ shitty  _ when I feel like it was all for nothing.” My voice has dropped to a hoarse whisper without me meaning to, my gaze is glued to the lip of Shiro’s chair, I feel like my mouth and my emotions are running wild and there’s simply nothing I can do about it but watch. “I did all that, I overcame so many boundaries only for it to be utterly demolished by careless words by some random Galra at a space mall, it probably wasn’t even that, it was probably some sort of transladazine fuck up but that just makes it worse. It’s  _ obnoxious _ , I shouldn’t get so upset about it when I know who I am and I’m exactly where I wanna be... but I can’t seem to let it go.” 

My mind wanders to my dream. Well, rather, the memory that crept into my subconscious mind and gave itself nightmarish elements. I learned later that his name was Marcus, which makes sense why I never bothered to notice him because he was just so, goddamn boring. I’ve never had something like what happened at the party happen before. The worst transphobia, if I can even call it that, I’ve experienced since I transitioned was just confusion from people who knew me before, but trans people aren’t a new thing. Most people are accepting of it now-a-days, it’s more and more of a normative thing. Except Marcus, I suppose. He was a little  _ too  _ accepting. I learned through a friend that…  _ trans guys  _ were Marcus’ type. He liked the “exotic combination,” but only in certain people… people in certain points in transition, or people with a certain level of comfort in their bodies. Something he thought I had, but didn’t. 

I suppose I should be grateful that that thing with Marcus happened. That night shook me so bad that I never went to another party again. It wasn’t a healthy habit anyway, it was something I threw myself into to… cope, I guess. I told myself at first it was to find someone to bounce me back from Damien’s death, but it morphed by inches to dangerous areas that led far beyond that: excessively drinking so I could have the strength to throw myself at strangers like I had nothing to lose because I thought I didn’t. Honestly the only bright side of the heavy drinking was I was so stupefied that I could barely tell what was up from down in my tests with the White Lion; it wasn’t as intense or scary when I was too drunk to tell what was going on. But that night made me realize that this wasn’t what I needed, in fact it was the opposite of what I needed; that even though things were shit, I deserved  _ better  _ than that. That was a big revelation to have when seventeen-year-old-Will’s self esteem was at rock bottom. 

_ But even though it pulled me out of something that led to a bad road, it sure as hell was not the best wake up call.  _

“I’m really sorry.” Hunk murmurs after a long stretch of silence, a silence so long I didn’t even realize it was until he spoke. I peer up at him through my eyelashes to see him looking off to the side, his eyebrows knit together with a worried, parental expression that I’d match better to Shiro than Hunk. 

“No, I…” I clear my throat as my voice cracks, fixing Hunk with an apologetic look, “ _ I’m  _ sorry. That’s a whole lot to unload onto you for no reason, I-”

“It’s okay, Will.” Hunk’s voice is assuring but firm, his hand that clasps mine squeezing gently. Slowly I let out a breath, and with an exhausted sigh I lean over and rest my head on his shoulder. I don’t consider it until my cheek touches his yellow patterned pajama shirt that he might not welcome the touch, but before I can panic and overthink he leans against me slightly and pats our conjoined hands with his other hand. I let out a quiet breath of relief. 

After a few seconds of comfortable silence he speaks in a gentle voice, “Look, I can’t say that I understand or anything, because I really can’t.” His voice rumbles deep in his large chest, filling me with pleasant warmth like I’m leaning on a purring cat, “Your experience is yours, right? But I just want you to know that what you do isn’t for nothing, it’s just who you are. Even though sometimes it feels like people don’t seem to care about your efforts, it’s still worth it because it’s you, you know?” I can hear him grinning, but I don’t dare look, I’m about three seconds away from crying all over again. “And dude, I’m real proud of you. You’re just about the greatest guy I’ve met, and that’s saying a  _ lot  _ considering we both know Shiro, cause like, I mean,  _ come on. _ ” 

I can’t help but snicker at this, and just like the floodgates in my eyes the laughter spills forth. It’s way too loud and excessive, but it’s digging into the minimal dopamine sand pile in my head and throwing it overtop of the empty hole in my chest one laugh at a time, so I let it happen. Hunk matches my laughter, resting his hand on my back and patting it gently as we slowly recover, sucking wind for a several moments afterward with lazy smiles on our face. 

“Thanks, Hunk.” I murmur, letting out a soft breath. “Really. I’m actually a little speechless, that was really… sweet.” 

“Wow, that’s saying a lot coming from you.” Hunk replies with a slightly quipped tone, “You always have something to say!” 

I playfully push his shoulder, shifting instead to lean on my elbows and stare up at the space rolling out before us. The yellow nebula hasn’t moved, yet it must be growing closer. I think it’s just so massive that it doesn’t look like it is. The hum of the Castle’s thrusters settles on my shoulders, shifting them loose to hang low. 

“That was fun today.” Hunk murmurs with a bright grin, “Back at the mall.” 

I glance over at him with a raised eyebrow, “You got chained to a sink.” 

Hunk holds up a large finger with a growing grin, “At first! I rose through the ranks, I’m telling you, that place was gonna be the talk of the planet when I was done with it!” I snicker and shake my head at him as he gestures wildly with a sweep of his arm over his head, “I know it’s kind of crazy, but I felt  _ so  _ in my element there, you know? Like, as soon as I got my hands on the wheel it all just… flowed!” He grins a little, completely enthralled as he glances over at me with a raised eyebrow, “I can’t even believe that I could make stuff when I didn’t even know the ingredients, I just literally…” He throws a hand in the air with a blown raspberry.

I laugh a little and twist to better face him, running a hand through my hair, “Cooking does seem to be your passion.” 

This quiets Hunk for a moment, his eyes dropping with his hands to his lap. 

I blink at him in surprise, taken aback.  _ Did I say the wrong thing? I just was complimenting his cooking skill… wait. He’s told me before that he learned to cook with his mom and that’s how his passion for it really sparked. Oh wait, oh fuck-  _ “Sorry, I-”

“No, no, yeah, you’re good. Sorry, I just..” He shakes his head a little, a shy smile spreading across his face, “My mom told me that before, a long time ago. I just… I mean, it  _ is  _ my passion, I guess, but I wasn’t gonna follow it ‘cause the big thing’s space, you know? Everyone’s trying to get involved in it I didn’t want to be left out.” He glances over at me with a dismissive wave of his hand, yet a sheepish expression, “ _ Besides _ , the chances of becoming the next great chef… what’re the odds of  _ that,  _ right?”

I blink at Hunk with continued surprise, “Hunk,” I murmur, “Everyone’s trying to get into space. The Garrison has an acceptance rate of next to nothing.” 

Hunk rubs the back of his neck sheepishly as he shrugs, “Well,  _ yeah _ , but placement tests and stuff aren’t an issue if you know what to do.” I blink at him in utter shock, but he doesn’t stop speaking, as if this is just a given, “I know what to do when it comes to physics, engineering, how things are supposed to work together, it’s all connected… But there’s nothing so… certain like that in the culinary business. Machines and stuff are concrete, I can work with those and the big ideas and concrete theories don’t really change...And when I got accepted into the Garrison, like,” Hunk speaks with his hands as the words seem to elude him, “... I don’t know, it’s confirmed, it’s stable… I like things that are stable.” Hunk twiddles his thumbs in his lap with a pensive expression, his eyes cast to the side with his lips pursed. 

I can’t help but stare at Hunk for several long seconds. I never really considered how Hunk placed into the academy, but listening to him talking about the test… he made it sound like it was no different than any run of the mill exam. I remember the test, my parents made me take it  _ ‘just to see,’  _ and I remember thinking  _ Jesus Christ, this is so fucking rigorous and complicated, the fuck kind of shit do they teach you if they expect you to know this much coming into it?  _

_ How brilliant must Hunk be that he thought the Garrison test was no big deal?  _

_ And he thinks it’s  _ **_consistency_ ** _. What are the odds of becoming the next great chef… does he think that they’re lower than becoming the next great engineer for the space program that everyone and their mothers are trying to get into? Does he really think that being a chef is so hard? Or does he not value it as much because it’s not… what’d he call it... ‘the big thing’? _

I criss-cross my legs beneath me as I turn to better face Hunk, running my hands through my hair before setting them in my lap, “You know, Hunk… I applied to the Garrison.” 

Hunk raises an eyebrow at me in surprise, his tone morphing slowly to one of confusion and somewhat guarded, “Okay..? Did you get in?”

I smirk and wave my hand, “Well, it’s important to note that my parents told me just to take the test to help study for the SAT’s, then applied on my behalf later, I didn’t actually have much of a say.” I look up at Hunk to see his mouth agape in complete confusion and I raise my hands in surrender, “Yeah, I know, it’s a whole thing. But…” My hands move to grasp my ankles as I somehow maintain the courage to meet Hunk’s gaze, “But when they told me that I’d gotten accepted, I told them that I wasn’t gonna go. Well, because for one thing I’m spiteful as shit, but mostly it’s because I know it’s not what I want to do.” 

Hunk cracks a slight grin at my light joke, but immediately he blinks at me in confusion as he asks, “What do you mean, ‘it’s not what you want to do’?” 

I gesture over my shoulder to my guitar, “Music’s my thing. Writing’s my thing. While a lot of people don’t care about that because of space stuff right now, that doesn’t mean it’s not still worth pursuing.” Hunk looks back behind me at my guitar, and I twist a little to face him better, “That doesn’t invalidate you for wanting to go to the Garrison, though! All I’m saying is that having a hobby that doesn’t align with what’s expected or emphasized on doesn’t mean that it’s useless. It’s still your passion, that means it’s worthy of following.”  

Hunk flickers his soft brown gaze to me with an amicable smile, “Hmm. Guess so.” 

I frown at him slightly as he glances back behind me and points with a raised eyebrow, “So, you can play that pretty well, huh?” 

I give him a deadpan look with a raised eyebrow, “You should leave the evasive jokes to Lance.”

Hunk huffs indignantly at this, leaning back on his arms while kicking his feet in the air, “ _ Hey _ , I’m not being evasive! I just like…” He pauses and bites his lip for a moment, touching a finger to his chin before he gives me a gentler look, “I don’t know. You’re probably right. I just don’t wanna think about it too hard, cause, like, you know, we’re up here in space fighting a super big war against a super bad-” 

“Okay, okay.” I wave him down with a slight grin, relenting to his words, “Fair enough, I can’t argue with that.” 

Hunk chuckles under his breath, and after a few moments of peaceful quiet he gestures again to the guitar over my shoulder, “So, music’s your thing?”

I shrug, I can feel a soft, self conscious burn rising in my face, “I mean, I guess so-”

“What can you play?” Hunk immediately gasps in excitement, pulling his booted feet up onto Allura’s platform and turning to face me like a kindergartner at storytime. “Do you play  _ the Lives _ ? Err, I guess maybe not, it’s pretty techie and stuff, but what about  _ June Bug _ ? Or  _ Homeland _ ? Or-”

“ _ Okay, okay. _ ” I tease Hunk with a calming gesture, turning away to pick my guitar back up, “I can play a few acoustic covers but they don’t really sound too much like the original songs. But, I’ve got a few classics and some old age stuff-” 

I raise my hands to the frets as Hunk sucks in breath rather dramatically. I glance up at him to see him watching my hands with bated breath, his fingers grasping his ankles and wide, hungry eyes that reflect the blue light of the crystal above. 

_ Yikes, no pressure.  _

“Maybe you’ll recognize this.” I murmur, mostly to myself, as I begin to pluck the strings in rhythm, biting my lip and letting the music flow. I’m clumsier, I can feel Hunk’s rapt attention on me and it’s a little intimidating, I know he doesn’t mean it to be, but my hands stutter when they usually don’t, and the sharp sting in my fingertips isn’t helping.  _ Focus.  _

“Dude, oh my gosh, this song is  _ ancient. _ ” Hunk gasps after a few moments, snapping his fingers as he squeezes his eyes shut, like he can recall the title on force alone, “Who is this, again? Oh I know it, it’s-!” 

“It’s the Valedictators.” I hum in response, pausing in my playing to rub out my fingertips. “Sorry, I haven’t played in a while.”

Hunk watches the movement with a curious expression, his eyes alight a soft blue in the overhead Balmeran crystal’s light, “If that’s how you play when you’re out of practice then you must be like, an expert when you are. When’s the last time you played?” 

I shrug absentmindedly, letting my hands fall behind me to help keep myself upright, “Months. I think last was camp at the end of May.” 

Hunk raises an eyebrow at me with a questioning look, “Summer camp?” When I nod Hunk nods in return in appreciation, his head like a tightened bobblehead. He reaches out to touch the body of the guitar, I shift my arm to let him as he makes a noise of appreciation, “This is so cool, dude. I barely remember, correct me if I’m wrong because I was mostly tuning everything out with Lance’s complaining, but didn’t you say you made this with those little crown thingines back on Olkarion?” 

A semblance of a smile cracks across my features as I fondly thumb the smooth wood beneath the neck, “Yeah, I did. Can’t make a mech suit or anything cool like Pidge could, but I got a little something out of it.” 

“Greetings, young paladins!” Hunk and I nearly leap out of our seat when we hear a loud and perky voice behind us. Slowly we turn to face Coran as he sweeps into the room like it’s any other typical day, and not at 2 or 3am. 

“Coran!” Hunk yelps in surprise, shifting to look at him as he descends down the stairs to his front-facing station, “What’re you doing awake?” 

“I was going to ask you the same question!” Coran quips, his voice is perky and punctuating like he took a shot of espresso before each word as he strides down the stairs to his front station, “You should be getting your rest, I hear that Shiro’s going to be starting you all bright and early tomorrow!” 

My eyes meet Hunk’s, and in that moment we have an instant bonding moment as we jointly groan, loudly, in response. I turn to face Coran as he taps his holographic panel, “How early is early?” 

“Well, if you go to sleep in the next varga or so, I think you’d reach minimum quantity of sleep that your little synapses require.” Coran answers in a vague manner, a flash of Altean symbols zapping by beneath his flying fingertips.  _ Helpful.  _

“I guess we should be getting to bed, then.” Hunk murmurs under his breath. He rises to his feet with a slight pout on his lips, holding out a hand to help me up. I take it gratefully, gripping the neck of my guitar as he hauls me to my feet with surprising ease. 

“Goodnight, Coran!” Hunk calls once I’m upright, trudging backwards with a powerful yawn like this reminder of sleep caused him to get immediately sleepy. I glance back at Coran over my shoulder. He appears well rested, or at least, he doesn’t appear tired, and I wonder if he’d gotten any rest at all.  _ I’m not sure how much sleep Alteans need, but considering how busy Coran is I doubt he’s gotten that amount. _

“Coran,” I begin, turning over my shoulder to peer at Coran’s back and his stalled fingertips over the holographic keyboard, “You should get some rest, too. It’s not healthy to work without good sleep.” 

“Oh-ho, don’t I know it!” Coran juts a finger into the sky without turning away from the front of the ship, his hands resuming their fast-paced typing, “I’m just finishing tightening the quackleamps and and hyperfluxing the kiltums-” 

“We’ll be sure to leave you to it, Coran.” Hunk’s hands grip my shoulders and turns me towards the exit like I’m a troublemaking child that’s refusing to cooperate. Stunned, I follow, and once the doors to the bridge close behind us Hunk releases me with a low exhale, “Man, just listening to all those crazy words makes my head spin, I should really ask him sometime about what they are because, you know, I should know them being a space engineer in training… I’m definitely ready to go to sleep now. What even is a  _ quackleamp _ ?” The hallway is dark, my eyes are still adjusting to the low light, but I can clearly see the cutting gleam of the whites of Hunk’s eyes, blinking in slow, lazy intervals. 

I can’t help but snicker, “You could always go in and ask him.” 

Hunk groans softly, “But he’s so…  _ animated.  _ I don’t know if I’ll get him to get anything out of his mouth without getting seasick!”

As we turn into our residential hall, I let my voice drop to a whisper, “Give him a chance. Ask Pidge about it, maybe she can help.”

“Alright,” Hunk murmurs as he pauses outside his door, playfully shooting me a fingergun, “Get some sleep. See you whenever Shiro decides to wake us up.” Hunk murmurs playfully as he reaches up to his scalp, untying the orange ribbon he keeps banded around across his forehead. 

I pause just before I head back towards my room, whispering across the empty hall, “Hey, Hunk?” 

He hums in response, his hand holding his ribbon hovering over the entryway to his room as he glances back at me with a raised eyebrow. 

“Thanks.” I whisper quietly, a gentle smile stretching across my features, “For listening. I’ve never really open up, so I appreciate you just… I don’t know… Letting me?-” 

“It’s okay.” Hunk affirms with a gentle wave of his hand in my direction. Some tension in my shoulders ease, and with a final wave I turn away from the collection of soft yellow lights that encompass the interior to Hunk’s room and walk back into mine. My last thoughts float to Hunk, smiling as he tells me that the Garrison exam was nothing if you knew the right questions.  _ Hunk must be much more brilliant than he lets on. I’m glad I noticed. I should’ve sooner… But I’m glad I have now. _

I set my guitar back in its place in the corner and curl back into bed almost immediately. However, the tiredness of sleep doesn’t return. I lie in bed in the darkness and stare at the ceiling, but I feel no desire to sleep, this time not in a bad, trapped-in-my-own-head way. In fact, I’m wide awake, and rather inspired by talking to Hunk.  _ I wanna write.  _

I sit up in my bed and tap the holographic panel on the side of my bed, turning on the light. The image of Pidge and Lance tied to a tree illuminates on the wall just over my head and I can’t help but grin a little bit at the sight. My gaze shifts to the wall on the opposite end of my bed where my school books lie, Ipull on the notebook I’d started writing in and thumb through the pages. They’re risen and crinkled from the press of the pen, the thick book is getting to a third full of my scribblings about the events that have transpired.  _ There’s so much here... At least a novel’s worth.  _

I pause and open to a random page to see what exactly I had written. 

_ ‘It burned like nothing else, lava dripping down my lungs and melting me from the inside out with the only cold certainty that death can have.’  _

_ Ah, when I was drowning.  _

_ Wow, that’s a really metal sentence. I must’ve been feeling particularly angsty at the time.  _

I turn flip the end of the pages and re-read what I had written at the end to see what is left to be said. The last page reads only one word:  _ ‘Olkarion.’  _

_ So that’s where we are with the narrative, huh? Alright, then. That was a whole thing.  _

I write about waking up the next day.  _ ‘I forget what I was doing, but- Oh. I was training on the deck with Keith. I was shocked at how not-awkward it was. I hope that that’s still possible, seeing  where we stand right now. Maybe one day I’ll catch this up to present day.’  _

I describe getting sent up the side of the Castle to check on a pylon in the system. I didn’t know what I was doing in how to actually accomplish this, but I needed the anti-gravity movement practice, so I went without question.  _ ‘While Pidge was nutting over the ‘mathematical beauty’ (I think that’s what she called it) of the Castle, we got bombarded with what I thought was space snow. Clumps of soft, white, pulsing material collided against us and of course it led to an all out snowball war, no one was safe. It was the funnest time I’ve had with the team for… quite some time.’  _

I write about Pidge’s theory on the snow being programmed, the long process it took for Shiro to get us back into the Castle for decontamination.  _ ‘It wouldn’t have been significant, but I didn’t know the room would fill with water. It was absolutely terrifying, I’ve never had such fear over such a safe situation, and what was the strangest thing was it was Keith who grounded me. After all that, that’s also when we finally got things cleared up in terms of how we feel towards one another. After I thanked him for helping me during the decontamination I, of course, had to apologize for the day before. The way he phrased it though, I got confused and asked him how he felt. He said “I don’t know.” Which is valid, and I would’ve just left it at that except before Lance and Hunk entered the room he was about to say something else. But I pushed it aside, thinking that the weird tension between us was over. Or, at least, that’s what I thought.’  _

I write about learning about the Olkari, Pidge’s general excitement over a race of aliens that are ‘technological geniuses’ only for it to melt into disappointment when the signal’s origin came from the forests of Olkarion rather than the legendary city.  _ ‘I was so excited to see trees again. It really made me miss home, and made me realize how much of a hellhole the state of Texas is.’  _

I describe meeting the Olkari, specifically Ryner and getting the rundown on the situation with their ‘King’ Lubos. I write about walking with the others to the ‘armory’: a grove of earth-sized trees that grew armored suits and blasters out of tree branches and lillies.  _ ‘Pidge was able to make one of those mech-suits in a second while wearing one of those crown things, the interface Ryner had called it. It blew my mind considering I have no idea how the fuck that was possible in the first place, and it made me anxious that such power was at their fingertips like that. I’m just glad they’re on our side.’  _

I write about the mission to ‘save’ Lubos from the city after we first saw the cube they were building, then the dramatic turn of events when his own turned against him when it came down to it. I describe the emergence of the fourth Galra I’ve seen in the flesh, and how things quickly went south when Keith grabbed Lubos by the throat to attempt to escape. _‘I don’t think it mattered if that Galra needed Lubos anymore or not, they seem to have an affinity for not caring about the lives lost. He ordered the sentries to open fire. I’m not sure what came over me, but for some reason I saw one of the shots go off and I knew where it was headed, and I acted before I could even digest what was happening._ _Lubos, coward that he is, ducked off to the side and left Keith exposed, so I tackled him down before any of the shots could’ve hit him. In retrospect that was_ _so_ _fucking stupid because I have a bayard for blocking stuff like that but I wasn’t thinking all that straight at the time, I just acted. I ended up getting shot instead as the price to pay, so karma really does balance things out in the end. Luckily I had the stone, so it healed up before the next fight.’_

I write about our escape through the Green Lion’s jaws, peering between her teeth at the massive, activated cube that floated above the trees like a spectre of death.  _ ‘It’s a little fuzzy after the gunshot but I do remember when we landed Shiro practically threw Lubos down to the Olkari’s feet. By that time the White Lion had healed my wound and I was practically brand new. I’d never seen such a large populace turn emotions so quickly, yet somehow Shiro had command over it all. His charisma is something else entirely.’  _

I write about battling the cube, Pidge’s correct theory that the more variety of weapons we used against it the more the cube would ‘learn’ and deflect them back to us, which inevitably led to us getting our asses handed to us… until Pidge re-emerged with the power of the Green Lion’s cannon.  _ ‘I could tell right away that Pidge was different, she’d crashed to the ground just like I did after a point blank shot to the face, but her and her lion looked invigorated, amazingly in sync. The cannon was unlike anything I’d ever seen, sprouting massive vines and ripping through the metal like fingers clawing them open. It was that moment that she got the Green Lion’s stone. I still have no idea what the fuck these are used for, but I’m hoping with some later analyses we can get some answers.’  _

I write about the Galra retreat when the Olkari pushed them out of the city, watching their vessel ascend into the sky to escape only to for rage to bubble in my blood as I skyrocketed after them.  _ ‘I wanted to end them, right then and there. Keith held me back, literally, with the Red Lion’s teeth on my lion’s tail. I felt stupid. I felt shaken. Getting the invitation to the Olkari party was a blur because I was on the verge of a mental breakdown until I actually did break down. And when I did, I broke  _ _ hard. _ _ ’  _

_ ‘It was Shiro who found me. I don’t know how long I’d been there, but he came and sat and talked me down. I’m glad it was him; if it were anyone else I think I would’ve just died on the spot in utter embarrassment, but somehow, with him… I knew he knew what I was going through. Having that solidarity meant so much to me that it actually ended up calming me down enough to almost wanna hit him when he brought up Keith after all things were said and done.’  _

I write heading to our home for the evening, detailing its architecture in the tree and the rounding up of the remaining paladins,  _ ‘as Keith had left beforehand, apparently,’  _ and heading to the party. I go in depth in the description of the scenes, the hanging platforms, the stringed lights and the little decorative statues. I detail Ryner and Allura’s rousing speech before the party officially began before getting into the party experience itself.  _ ‘It was a little overwhelming, there were a lot of Olkari and I didn’t see my friends til a good while into it. Luckily they couldn’t speak English so I didn’t get caught in conversations, but it was very… lonely. I’d never felt alone in a crowded room before yet somehow it happened. It was such a relief to find Coran, even though he’s a little funky, but that night he was  _ _ especially _ _ so. “Friend-juice” really had him riled up and excitable, to his credit it was endearing but I was so emotionally drained from the party I was not feeling it. I was tempted to try the juice out but with my history I’m really glad I didn’t, and especially in hindsight of what happened afer. That was the third time that day come to think of it, that Keith rescued me from a tight situation.’  _

I bite my lip, and as I begin to write the next part the ink in my pen runs dry. I scribble in the corners and margins a few more times before resigning, tossing it to the floor and reaching for another on the shelf. I have four left.  _ I better make them count. Or maybe see if Alteans had ever used pens.  _

With the fresh pen I write about talking to Keith on the tallest platform.  _ ‘I didn’t realize it until Keith said so but I think he was drunk; he seemed so… relaxed and open. It was unlike him, but it wasn't so out of character that it was unbecoming. I felt honored to see that side of him, yet a part of me wonders if it was a side I wasn’t intended to see.’  _

_ ‘He said such… strange things. Things that didn’t align with the conversation we had earlier that day. He did that super cringy, adorably romantic cliche of ‘the sky is sure pretty tonight’, ‘you sure are’ thing, which absolutely made me swoon like a goddamn reality tv show host, I wonder if that was on purpose or if he was just talking, you know how drunks are. He questioned me for knocking him over to take the shot when we were freeing Lubos, it was a similar interaction that we’d had after I woke up from stasis that led to… issues. He seems to have such a fucking problem with me trying to protect him, which makes sense because he’s all  _ _ Mr. Brooding Wonder _ _ , but I can’t help seeing that this is a theme. I wonder if he’s truly just upset with me because he feels it’s an infringement on his independence or whatever, or if it’s because he doesn’t see himself as worthy of being protected, and that wrecks my heart. I wish there was a way to prove to him that he deserves… I don’t know, to be here, to exist, to be a part of the team I guess. But I think it’s hard for him to believe me, considering my… bias. If I think of a way, then it’s happening; I’ll make that fucking boy love himself so help me God.’  _

I close my eyes as my pen stalls, the memory of that night washing over me. Keith’s black hair had a soft yellow halo from the string lights, the otherwise perfect darkness of the night casting his features in lilting shadows.  _ ‘It’s hard not to be enamored by him anyway, but that night in particular, seeing him so relaxed and open and… happy, it made the gay feelings ten times stronger. He seemed so genuinely happy and at home, and that’s when my feelings became almost impossible to keep at bay. No look suits Keith better than a gentle smile that reaches the dark depths of his eyes.’  _

I write about Keith’s fixation on the hole in my suit, seeming to do nothing but glare at it while we spoke until it led to an all out tickle fight,  _ ‘it was like I was eight all over again, it was so weird coming from Keith but it was also fucking hilarious.’  _ I describe the situation’s morph, the slow realization, and then the  _ situation. ‘I’ve officially kissed Keith more than I’ve kissed anyone else other than Damien, and I’m not quite sure if that’s a good or bad thing. I mean, in terms of my overall joy it was a good thing, but for long run impacts it was definitely not. I had to push him away because he was drunk, he didn’t know what he was doing. Or, if he did, then he wasn’t in the frame of mind to be acting upon his wishes in such a way. I didn’t want to take advantage of him when he’s like that.’  _

_ ‘He asked me a question, when I told him to stop and he pulled away. I was so stunned he just stopped that it took me at least a minute to function again. “What are you so afraid of?” Is what he said.’  _ I bite my lip and hesitate, staring down at the words that seem so alien despite them being in my handwriting before I scrawl one more sentence,  _ ‘I don’t know.’  _

I move on without an added phrase and write about taking him home, encountering Pidge and a wasted Lance and the long tread getting home. I describe how Lance sobered while Keith got drunker, he’d lean on me heavier and his head would fall to the crook of my neck. I write about getting back to the tree house to get Keith to bed.  _ ‘I was going to leave but his tone… changed. He got very soft, and told me that he has nightmares. He asked for me to stay for a few minutes until he fell asleep. I did. After a few minutes he asked me how I dealt with my nightmares. I told him. He asked to hear me sing. I almost died on the fucking spot, but told him no. He held my hand as he fell asleep.’  _

_ ‘It was this moment that I realized that my feelings for Keith go well beyond even the sphere of an intense crush now; perhaps at one point it was lust or whatever, but now there is no mistaking the fact that I have deep, deep feelings for him that run close to being romantic… and this scares the fucking life out of me. I just hope that even though these dumb emotions are stronger now that I can still treat him like a teammate.’  _

I write about fucking off into the woods, sitting on a log and thinking about the day’s events. I describe finding the crowns in a plant, thinking up a crazy scheme before giving it a try to make some instruments.  _ ‘It worked, I figure because I know how these things work intimately, but the keyboard didn’t. That was pretty sad, but I have my guitar now and that’s something, something amazing and game changing’  _

I write when Pidge stumbled upon me in the woods and we talked about the day’s events together, comparing medallions and experiences, and then eventually it came to campfire songs,  _ ‘up until Shiro heard us, that is. We’ve agreed to call him our space dad, because that’s exactly what he is.’ _

I write about the next day’s hangovers, Lance’s being loud and obnoxious while Keith’s was quiet and under the radar,  _ ‘I don’t think I would’ve noticed had I not been looking for the signs. Some part of me even now wonders if that night even happened, because other than that hangover look I would’ve thought it was a dream.’  _

I write about launching off of Olkarion, then the descent of Zarkon upon our tired, hungover selves.  _ ‘I’ve never gone from 0 energy to 100 in the drop of a second, but that’s exactly what happened when the massive command center descended upon us. I wonder if he’d been hunting us down since our battle, and was only able to catch up then. Regardless, we were ill prepared and almost paid the price for it. Twice.’  _

I describe the chase, our momentary relaxation before it happened again.  _ ‘I was just sitting with Hunk while he made scaultrite cookies when Zarkon appeared again, no more than a half hour later. Once we escaped again, the wormholer becoming basically null by that point, Zarkon had returned in the span of ten minutes. It was unceasing.’  _

I write about using the metallic storm to hide, only for it to be completely useless, so instead using it to destroy the enemy fighters when they descended upon the Castle.  _ ‘That was when I felt Pidge’s presence so strongly that we started to be able to speak telepathically, or at least something like it. In our weave of connections, I could tell we were all merged together but with  _ _ Pidge _ _ it was like we were one person, thinking my thoughts were like thinking for Pidge, and vice versa. It was a surreal experience, but undeniably cool. Maybe once everyone has their stones, if everyone is supposed to and able to get them, we’ll be able to move together, literally, as one while within Voltron.’  _

_ ‘We engaged Zarkon’s center command to give the Castle a chance to escape the heart of the storm, but we got too close; Zarkon almost ripped us apart. His hold on the Black Lion is strong, I could feel him physically ripping into our connections and pulling us from one another to dismantle Voltron from the inside.’  _

I write about the Castle’s timely rescue and our retreat back to our hangers, then with the Twister-like fiasco with the scaultrite cookies so we could make a jump to escape. Then I describe the argument as we return to the bridge as Allura tries to convince us that she’s the reason Zarkon could track them, only for Keith to pile on that he believes he’s the reason instead.  _ ‘Even if they were, I don’t know what she thinks we could’ve done about it. There’s no way that we’re abandoning anyone to be fodder for the Galra.’  _

_ ‘I don’t remember about what I did for the rest of that evening, but I do remember how I awoke this morning: both Keith and Allura gone, without a trace. I was so unbelievably pissed, I was shaking how pissed off I was because what were they expecting for this to happen? I’m still a little upset about it, not gonna lie, but it’s nothing compared to how angry I was this morning. Luckily, the best scenario occurred, they weren’t the ones being tracked, but if one of them were? What were they going to do? They would’ve said that they couldn’t return, they’d probably get captured, even killed.’  _ Just writing the words makes the dark anger boiling back. I bite down on my lip to keep focused,  _ ‘I’m only upset because I was scared. I just didn’t want them to get hurt. Allura seemed to understand this, and that’s why my rage that continues to burn isn’t towards her anymore, but Keith. Keith doesn’t seem to think that we have any right to care about him, but we do. I do. That’s why I’m angry. I’m pissed that he doesn’t think we care about him enough to fight for him to continue to stay, and I wish that he’d be able to see that better. But again… I may be a little biased.’  _

I write about Taujeer: the noxious fumes, the anxious yellow that coated the sky, our flurried efforts to help the Taujeerians escape before the planet’s exterior fell asunder. I write about the emergence of the Galra firing down upon us, the absolute chaos of the lasers flying all over the goddamn place,  _ ‘I heard Hunk at one point shout, “ _ _ OOooh, Armor Claws! _ _ ” and Coran yelling, _ _ “I think the Red Lion just left! _ _ ” and that just about sums up how chaotic everything was in that moment.’  _

I write about the dramatic return of the Red Lion with Keith and Allura in tow, popping the ion cannon off of the Galra cruiser like a cork before we all returned to right the Taujeerian’s sliding vessel.  _ ‘This time when we formed Voltron, I felt Hunk’s presence in addition to Pidge’s. Our thoughts were a little more cluttered because there were more of us, but I feel that it was also because Hunk was utterly confused and didn’t know what we were doing yet. I think by the end, before we disbanded, we really came together, though. This is kind of why I think that everyone may be predestined to get their amulets that tie them to their lions, but the question still remains as to how. They seem to be linked to having some sort of harrowing experience, and I’ve got to say that as I write this that gives me a hell of a lot more anxiety and I’m quickly gonna bury it and think about something else so I don’t overthink it and internally explode.’  _

I write about Voltron’s sword upgrade, returning the Taujeerians to their moon before we returned to the Castle of Lions. 

_ ‘When I walked onto the bridge and saw Allura and Keith, I was spitting mad. Allura seemed genuinely sorry. Keith did not. Keith looked like he probably would’ve done the same thing all over again if he had the choice with the same amount of… displeasure? Inability to care? I don’t know. That anger’s gone now, mostly; now I’m just… relieved. At least it all worked out on this end. I don’t know what I would’ve done if that Galra had descended on the two of them, alone in a pod. I’m just glad it didn’t.’  _

I write about our mental huddle, the realization that Zarkon must be tracking Shiro through the Black Lion, then our discussion on  _ ‘what the fuck are these stones?’  _ That eventually led into where we could find more scaultrite lenses, because we can’t escape Zarkon again without more. 

_ ‘The Space Mall.’  _

I feel the smile re-emerging across my face as I recount the day’s events, even the minute fear I had when Hunk got taken away by that asshole Vrepit Sal.  _ ‘I even wished that I had my bayard at one point, which in retrospect is really stupid because what was I gonna do? Fight him in the middle of the food court?’  _ Slowly my smile fades as I write down the argument with Keith.  _ ‘I mean, I was being an utter bitch to him so it’s valid that he felt the need to call me out… but I was scared. I tried to make him understand that I was just scared but I don’t think I did it well. I just yelled at him. I demanded answers, I wanted to know if he either thought so little of himself or of us that he would leave without a second thought like that.’  _

_ ‘I think I was so much more upset with Keith is because I took it personally. I still take it personally.’  _ I freeze as the thoughts about to flow onto the paper form, but despite the hesitation I keep writing. It helps to articulate this jumble.  _ ‘When we were leaving for the mall Allura told me that she could tell by the way I look at him that I like him. I’m really beginning to wonder just how idle these feelings are, if they’re coming across as the actions that soulmates make towards each other, because that’s what she’d compared me to. Her mother and her father. Alteans have soulmates. That sounds so cliche, but that’s not how humans work. But… I don’t have an idle crush on him anymore. It’s stronger now. I think I just have to accept that and try to keep its effects on the positive side since trying to suppress these feelings sure as hell ain’t working.’  _

I catch up to the present, recounting the events from just before I fell asleep to just after I woke up, a brief description of the dream included.  _ ‘I had no idea Hunk was so… clever. He spoke of the Garrison test like it was nothing, like becoming an engineer at the  _ _ Garrison _ _ was easier than being a chef, which is  _ _ insane _ _. I always kind of thought of Pidge as the genius… but I think Hunk might be just as clever, if not more so than Pidge by his obvious grasp and knowledge of mechanics, a different kind of genius. I wonder if he truly applies himself to it and makes it look like he doesn’t, or if it simply comes that easy to him. Either way, it’s astonishing, and I’m so honored to know that about him now.’  _

_ ‘And finally we’re caught up. Stay tuned.’ _

I stare at the last line, and slowly but surely I close my notebook, past halfway full now, in my lap, threading the pen through the spiral bind. 

_ We’ve come pretty far, haven’t we?  _ I stare at the thick volume of ink, my gaze traveling down to the floor where the empty pen lies off to the side where I’d tossed it before.  _ Luckily I have more of those. More to fill this with our story. _

Setting the book back on the bookshelf, I turn off the light and lay down on my bed, my head sinking into the pillow. Over my head, a faint light shines from behind the image of Pidge taking a selfie with Hunk and a chained, indignant Lance in the background from when we rescued Rolo and Nyma. I stare at it: Pidge and Hunk’s smiling faces, Lance’s peeved expression… his mouth is open with a sassy retort, no doubt. 

I can’t help but marvel at how far we’ve come.

_ Two weeks ago these people were perfect strangers to me. Now, I feel like I’ve never been closer to a group of people in my entire life, not even my field hockey team back in Virginia. So much has happened, to me, to them, to us. I never could’ve dreamed how these events unfolded the way that they did, not even my imagination is this complex to imagine an intergalactic space war. I’m not much for divine influence, but it seems that it took such to bring us all here together in this one place and one time where we’re really out here trying to make a difference. A difference that matters. Not just to us, but to the entire universe. Literally.  _

_ If there’s any random throw-together group of people that can do this thing, saving the world... I seriously think that we can.  _

_ Zarkon better be quaking on his throne, because we’re coming for him to right a thousand years worth of wrongs. _

_ We’re the Paladins of Voltron, now. Defenders of the Universe.  _

_ That certainly does have a ring to it, doesn’t it? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> The songs are Whatever it Takes by Imagine Dragons (first) then later Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin.  
> This is it, this is really the end of this book. I started writing this in October, and I can't believe how far I've come as a writer in that time. I feel like I've learned a lot about my writing style and how I want to write this thing, and it's been a really fun journey to undertake.  
> If you've read this far, then thank you for joining me. I'm glad you decided to stick with this for as long as you have, because this is not a small fic. You could've been reading so much more, but you aren't. you're here. I thank you for giving me your time, I know that it is valuable, and I hope that you feel that it is not wasted.  
> The next book of the series is "Kaleidoscope," which will pick up on the journey headed to the Blade of Marmora's base. I estimate it'll pick up around Chapter 2-3 with S2E8, but I would like to note that it is around this time that what I write will be divulging from the canon a little bit, piece by piece, but specifically when it comes to timeline. Each "episode" coorespondance in my chapters with the show will grow longer and longer because Voltron just Doesn't explain exposition and I am going to, so hopefully there'll be a lot of new shit to see / read. Also, you know, some stuff I threw in... for reasons.  
> Once again, I hope you enjoyed the work. Thanks for sticking with me on this.  
> **


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